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Soccer Kick Fail
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This hurts you more than it does me.
Yes madam!
Wait, why is the kicker writhing in pain?
OHHHHHHHHH!!!!
right in the mommy daddy button!!!
waaaiit. a button?
is he now a hermophridite? PLEASE explain your brain dulling theory as to how he can have a button. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!
It’s a line from a movie, stop taking everything you read on the Internet seriously.
Lmao really!
Because although it looks like a shot to the family jewels, he actually kicked the back of the other player’s leg. That would hurt them both.
Because this game is all about who’s the biggest pansy rolling around grabbing his leg in mock pain.
eeek a mouse!
*listens to reggae*
*listens to ‘Actions & Motives’ by 10 Years *
*listens to Connor’s sarcasm once*
Actually that wasn’t sarcasm. ^^
Connor!
Oh, well, SORRY.
Better?
i guess
John Connor?
No. Just me.
*listens to the wind blowing between your ears*
*mousysqueeze*
I love your cape
*preens*
Why thank you!
*zoomysqueeze*
At least they don’t pad themselves in a protective suit the same way that you’d pad a drooling retard before you send him out doing a sport. ^^
But I think we both can agree: Real British (or Irish) or Australian (or New Zealand) rugby is the real sport for real men. ^^
And ice hockey comes at a good second place.
Agree.
American football players look like hyperactive one-year-olds needing to wear helmets and to get wrapped in pillows so they don’t inflict injuries upon themselves when pinballing into the walls.
“The misconceptions between rugby and gridiron are rooted in the belief that gridiron and rugby are similar sports. The truth, however, is far from this, as anyone who’s ever played both sports can attest. In rugby, the only collision (i.e., running at speed for the purpose of forcing a player to the ground) is when one has the ball. The other 29 lads on the pitch are there for support. In American football, 21 of the 22 players had better be colliding with someone on every down – at full speed. In gridiron, there is collision while blocking. In rugby, the equivalent is called “obstruction” and is illegal, thus there are far more opportunities – requirements – for player collision in American football.”
http://wesclark.com/rrr/pads_and_helmets.html
@barefoot
well you can say all you want but really, rugby players use roids while american football players will get broekn in half with or without patting by one of the american footbal players
“Patting”?
Like, when they pat each other on the butt?
Also, “rugby players use roids”…do you you seriously think that American football players aren’t on steroids?
Right. It’s nothing like that game where everyone stands around in armor, then moves for a few seconds and then stands around some more. I shan’t touch on committee decisions, judicial revues, appeals, etc..
No he didn’t. Look at the still frames (download the video and jump to it in your video editor). It’s a perfect balls hit.
Grand slam?
Don’t mind if I do! I’ve been hungry for pancakes for DAYS now!
*squeeze*
Somehow I pictured you more as the Super Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity type.
I picture hot cakes, definitely hot cakes. I’m addicted to pure maple syrup, but I think I’ll skip the stuff from Vermont.
I like Nigel Bruce so I’ll have a waffle.
You don’t like their buckets? (*snork*)
I think it’s the taps that turn him off.
*failpeep-squeeeeeeze!*
Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N FOOOOMY!
We went out for pancakes @ Bob Evans on Sunday after our ride on the Santa Train. Here, I brought you back some!
*offers container of freshly reheated hotcakes with butter, syrup & crispy bacon*
*droooooooooooooooooool*
Great. Just great. I had dinner an hour ago and now I’m hungry again.
Sowwy….
*quietly crawls away*
Because soccer players are bad actors.
Professional faking, of course. He thinks he can lower the trouble he’s in that way. Of course he’s wrong.
Cuz soccer is the gayest sport around and they act like little biatches and flop any time they get touched or come close to getting touched.
because he wants the ref to think he got foulded when it was the other way around
The ref was fouled?
I think he's trying to say the ref was foaled ... but his pronunciation is a little horse.Oh, horse. Now I feel like an ass.
Let's just hope we don't get foaled again ... or foulded in more than half.Was this game played in Phillie?
no way this the A-League as in the Australian league. jeez i knew americans were oblivious but i never knew they were this blivious, oh yeah it was played in melbourne
cause its a kicker…
He looked up first then decided to be in pain. He was trying to get a free ride off the field.
hes a football player.
and thats the #1 way to win a football match.
How Christ that must have hurt… poor fella
Yeah… owie
SOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!!That’s a load of blumberfarkin
Oh, gorbolarodorkian!
What did you call me?
*gives LGB a stern look*
*gives Gracie flumberty*
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/07/parachute-fail/#comment-632514
*looks at flumberty uncertainly*
Oh, fipple-fop!
*eats flumberty*
Yummmm.
*starts passing out more tall Dr. Seuss hats*
*takes a hat*
Danke sehr!
I think the funniest part is the fact that the player got kicked in the back of the left leg but is holding his right leg while on the ground. Soccer players are such fakes.
Howly Fack….That will leave a mark o.O..
I bet the yellow guy’s wife would be very upset after that
WOOOOOO-HOOOOOO AIKI!!!!!
*confettis*
*gets the ball rolling*
*takes a running start*
*kicks it up a notch*
*kicks up her heels*
*squeezyStarfishy*
*kicks back and relaxes*
*LGBeezySqueezy*
*kicks it old school*
*routes for #66!*fuzzy on that concept….
*pops the champagne*
I haven’t read down to see if someone else did this already, but you can never have too much champagne, so…
*¡ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ*
“Bottoms up!”, eh, DW?
DW, lf you read down I’ve been waiting for a drink, thank you!
*lifts champagne bottle from DW*
*gulps*
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Sorry I didn’t deliver it to you with a sexy German accent, though.
Who knows? You’re starting to sound sexy German…
*ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ*
˙uoıʇɐɹqǝןǝɔ ʎɹǝʌǝ ʇɐ sıɥʇ op ǝʍ ‘ʇǝ
Admiral is shut down
The Admirable Admiral is never shut down!
*ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ*
¡pǝʇɹɐʇs buıʇʇǝb ʇsnظ s,ʎʇɹɐd ǝɥʇ
Never deny a Navy man his drink.
*dreams of sexy Admirals…Germans…*
*engages fantasy of FOOOOOOOOM*
*blink*
Okay, I can honestly say that’s the first time anyone’s fantasized about being *FOOOOOM!!!*-ed.
fooooooooooome, aaahhhhh, foooooooooooned……yes………foooooom me!
Do you know what it means to be *foooomed*???
Avis, if you only knew…..
I’m beginning to think that word does not mean what you think it means. That, or it’s REALLY cold where you are.
*exercises fire fetish*
for zoomz:♪ Well you get hip to this timely tip
When you make that California trip.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six. ♪
but I’m on the Coast highway…one
kicks are for trids
*tosses mini soccer players in the air in celebration*
*facepalm*
Yay, Aiki!
*starts bubble machine*
Yaaay!
Woo HOO!!
*misses Aiki*
*tries to grab and hold Aiki so Avis won’t miss him again*
*misses him too*
*misses him three*
*and four and five, too*
And Brewski, Malicite, DrB…
I’m depressed now. I’ll get me some ice cream.
Get enough for the rest of us too!
Does icecream help, AE? Cuz if it does, maybe it’ll help with my missing WN.
Ice cream sounds good.
*grabs a gallon of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch*
*eats directly from the carton*
*grabs a spoon and joins Gracie*
*clinks spoons with Gracie and Ms B*
*gets cookie dough ice cream*
*eats until I throw up*
Omg, Gracie…you have excellent taste in ice cream.
*gets a ginormous spoon and dives in*
*is really, really amused that the Firefox spellchecker knows the word “ginormous”*
It’s my favorite kind, and unfortunately I can no longer get it anywhere in Podunk, Nebraska. My second favorite is Blue Bunny’s Premium Bunny Tracks.
*gets bib before she starts drooling*
Fail commenter’s are very unhealthy o.O
Can I have some of that ice cream too?
Hey, cheer up, Leila and WN both showed up lately!
*passes a Budvar pils to Arthur*
*squeezes all the failpeeps*
*SKAAA-WEEEEEEEEZE!!!*
STOPPPPPPP ITTTTTTTT!!!!
Brew!!!!!!!
*POUNCETACKLESQUEEZE*
And what of WN? Is he back, also?
Pictures, or it didn’t happen.
failblog.org/2009/11/30/swing-fail-2/#comment-695227
Thanks, Scotty.
*squeeze*
*SQUEEEEEZE*
I just wanted to pop in and say “hi”! Keep up the good work!
WN poked his head in the door a couple days ago. Somebody mentioned “tequila”, and POOF! He automagically appeared! But alas, like him, I’m not coming back. Just saying “hi”.
So…
HI!!
We didn’t talk about beer today… Pop in as often as you can!
Not talking, eh?
Did you bork this thread on purpose, AE?
What did I do? Everything seems to be ok to me…
That was sooooooo weird!!!!
I couldn’t see any comment below my question mark. Not one appeared!!!
I think my Ad Muncher is getting to the blog!
*smacks the blogmonster*
We’ve been a little lax on his training lately.
All my comments are getting eaten and I’m not even swearing.
Bleh!
Maybe not out loud, Dilly, but you were thinking it!
*points to Gracie*
I SEE YOUR CAPE!!
Hey, is WN in on the April meet as well?
Psssssht, Judy! The first two rules of the April meet are you do not talk about the April meet!
Okay. What’s the “April meet”?
Oooookay. Some failpeepz will meet in Boston in April. That’s about it. Not that spectacular, I admit.
Check the other FB LGB, I sent you a message.
Refresh your browser GS!
Check your Facebook inbox. I tried sending you a link.
*squeezeGSandGracieandAE*
Thanks for the 411.
*pouts*
I’ll probably be in Las Vegas at the time!
Wait, why am I pouting? I’ll be in Vegas!
I do wish I could meet all of you though.
Hm… my mom lives in Vegas and she’s been harassing me to bring the kids and visit. That might be a little more do-able for me than Boston. When will you be there, Avis?
*will give this more thought*
There is a big NF Forum there in mid(?) April. I will either be there with Mama Bird or Rooster, depending. If you go to ctf.org and look up the Vegas forum, it should tell you when. Gimme a few days and I’ll have links to it on my site. And a donate page for the walk.
Gracie…! Two of us will be in Vegas not this weekend but next, from the 10th to the 13th!
Going now is not in my budget, but it could be for April. I was planning to visit my mom next summer, and take a side trip to the beach and Disneyland. April might be a bit early for the beach, but the rest would be ok.
Gracie, I just looked up when I’m supposed to be in Vegas. April 9th through the 11th. I may leave the 12th, just to get a little more time in. If you plan on being there at the same time, we should go get drinks/dinner!
I hadn’t gotten a set date for my trip yet, but I’ll look into it.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
In the hopes that you’ll see that.
Ahhh, it’s like a mini reunion!
*Brewskweeeze*
where is Leila?
Is that the new spinoff of Where’s Waldo?
↓ Down there.
Ah, Scott, are you trying to take me down?
Zooomz, are you offering to go down?
I swing, but I don’t go down
You swing? Was that you yesterday then?
*thinks*
Couldn’t have been. That was almost a classic case of going down while swinging.
Well, the thing is…
I was swinging and then my hair…
well…
it wasn’t really going down
was it?
*tickletickletickle*
*giggles with the Moomiin tickles*
foot-b@llIndeed. It’s called football, not soccer.
Indeed. Welcome to logic, America.
Football -> Feet + Balls, logical enough (and painful, by the looks of it!)
American Football -> Hands and Balls, illogical (and frowned upon in most states)
But loved by the punters.
But we can’t call Football in the States Handball since another game with little blue balls is already called that.
Foosball?
Bowling.
Billiards.
Snooker!
Only after beer pong.
Dang.
*gives a cue*
*Goes to pot.*
Wait… strangling testicles is a sport in the US?!?
Depends on who you talk to.
It’s not generally a group sport…
Actually…
I said “group”, not “contact”!
Actually…
I also said “generally”. :p
Dilly, I don’t think Avis has played Handball. You usually play with 4 people. Fun times!
Well, not that version of handball at least.
All versions can be played with 4 people
axtu reeerly
It’s a grope sport.
It’s a growth spurt.
It’s a grape spot.
It’s a..
Great Scott!
*frantically searches underwear drawer, looking for stash of Arthur thongs*
Hmm, what could have happened to…
*spies suspicious bit of fabric peeking out of Scott’s low cut trousers*
HEY! I’ve been robbed!!!
*Takes note of Judy’s predicament but advertises MY CLICKIE instead*
Connor, you’re fairly new, so here’s a short version of the Dragon’s Law of Failblog Clickies:
NO CLICKIE!!!!
Once again, a European who is completely unfamiliar with the history of the sport we in the US call football, yet acts as though he knows it better than we do. Big surprise there.
Cynical much, Cloral?
Not relaxed, that’s for sure.
:[
*pokepokepoke*
*tickletickletickle*
Oh dear, I’ve started a war.
There, there, Jon. Here, have a Spam Cookie™.
*hands Jon freshly-microwaved tray of Spam Cookies™*
I work with a bunch of Englishmen, so I get this all the time.
For those of you who don’t know (and probably don’t care), when American football was invented, the team on offense had two options: they could run the ball, or they could punt the ball. Passing was not allowed at the time. Add in field goals and kickoffs, and you see that all possible actions on the field of play involved your feet. Hence the sport was named football.
Football as much of the rest of the world knows it was invented at around the same time. So what it amounts to is a cultural difference. What would you think if I said you are wrong for calling it a pub instead of a bar? That would be about the same as what you do.
All the actions you described also included using one’s eyes. Why not call it eyeball?
And yeah, pub is wrong. It’s called a bar.
just don't rugby me the wrong waythat one’s called teethball.
GRACIE!!!!
.
.
.
*innocent look*
Miss a day on the blog…miss a LOT!!!!
*snorkgiggles*
*squeeze*
“Pub is wrong?” Pub is wrong? I’ll give you pub is wrong…
*rolls up sleeves*
*strikes pose with arms*
*beckons at AE with hand*
*flees to nearest bar*
Do they bar nun?
Yes…and if the nuns dare to come in, they chuck them.
So it’s a nunchuck bar?
How many nuns would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck nuns?
42.
What was the question, again?
*sidles up next to AE at bar*
*bats eyelashes*
*waits for an offer of a drink*
*brazenly walks up to bar and buys AE a drink*
*bats eyelashes*
*grins lasciviously*
still waiting
Patience, young grasshopper.
yes, I’ll have a grasshopper…..
Avis, if you’re buying….
swaaaaaaweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Sure! A round for everyone! Rooster’s Christmas present just came in! And it’s PERFECT!
Give me a cold one… Apple juice.
*grabs ealrlier reply*
*inserts here*
*nesting fail*
Ahem Pub is short for “Public Bar”
No, “pub” is a 19th century abbreviation of “public house”.
You do know that your beloved “American” football was invented by a Canadian, right?
Since when have Logic and America gone together?
Long story. At first they didn’t really like each other and were flirting with others, but then it changed and they were flirting with others to hurt eachother. Then they started to really hate eachother, but in the latest episodes it appeared as if they might finally come together now.
*sigh*
I can never keep track of these melodramatic relationships.
Confused?
You won’t be, after this episode of…
Failblog!
…As the Fail Turns. These are the Fails of our Lives.
One Life to Fail
General Failspital
Where everybody knows your fail
And they’re always glad you failed
St. Elsefail.
Unfortunately, last night’s episode featured the appearance of logic’s evil twin (with a twirly mustache and everything), whilst the real one got amnesia. Now who’ll join America at the altar?
Wasn’t there a question of America not being accepted by logic’s rich mother?
Actually, I think that logic’s evil half brother, Lowest Common Denominator, was trying to win America over.
I thought we voted him out back in November, 2008.
They brought him back as a Wild Card.
After he went thru a brain transplant and became a his own blind half-sister, right?
Exactly. But now (s)he sports some odd Spanish accent which made America think that there was some baby swapping in the maternity ward.
These guys need some succor.Succotash me, baby
*tosses corn and baby lima beans @ dilly*
*holds out bowl*
*looks hopeful*
Is there enough of that to share? That sounds yummy (with a little butter & lemon juice & garlic salt)!!!!
I’ve got plenty of veggies, but you’ll have to find SuzieQ for the butter.
Lima beans?
:ick:
I’ll have some of the other veggies, though.
*will happily take Dragonwriter’s share of lima beans*
You can have my bell peppers if you’d like. *shudder*
Ewww…no thanks. I only like them when they’re raw, and even then only in smallish doses.
*surreptitiously scrapes Brussels sprouts onto Arthur’s plate*
You don’t like roasted red peppers?
BLECH!!
Erm…I mean, no. :p
Those are one of the very few cooked veggies that I like.
I’m with Avis. I like em’ RAW!!
*snapcrunchmunchmunchmunch*
Yes, yes, we’re all fully aware that in many places outside of the states soccer is called “football”.
It’s kind of like telling a smoker, “You know, those things’ll kill ya!”.
Or asking someone in the summer, “Hot enough for ya?!”
We know, everybody knows, the world knows, mission accomplished…
*golf craps*
FOOTBALL! I said it’s called FOOTBALL!
Oh, like there’s some magical sport from the land of chocolate you live in called “football”.
Technically, it’s Fussball in SchokoladenLand.
Actually it’s Fußball in the Schokoladenrepublik Deutschland.
Yeah, OK my knowledge of Deutsch is very limited. Plus I have no way to make that odd B/ss thing on my keyboard, and am too lazy to search the internet for one to copy/paste
Wie heißen Sie?
Ich habe Deutsch gern.
Gestern habe ich Hausaufgaben gemacht.
Hey, I made a pair of lederhosen last week, you get off your aß and Google!!! *mutters*
Mein Po? Was über es?
You are trying to toe us into line?
Angry, yelling, German accent is sssexy!
Run, Arthur, run like the wind! In the name of all that is holy, man, RUN!!!
Holy or Holey?
Why on earth would I?
*yells some more with heavy accent*
*swoons*
*swoons*
*giggles and swoons*
Say it again!
*is blown away by AE’s accent*
*hangs onto tree for dear life*
*moons*
sock her?
I don’t even know her!
I thought you called it penaltyball over there?
MOOMINS SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE
ZOOOMZ *SQUEEEEZE*
Can’t seem to give you an inch.
Does he need any extra inches?
…maybe wants…
Please keep in mind that there is such a thing as TOO BIG!!
Blasphemy! That’s not true!
*shifts uncomfortably in chair*
It’s totally true. Ten pounders go out, not in.
Probably hit the official overshare list there.
Sorry.
I’m still reeling from the idea of a ten-pounder! Of either!
*is also astounded*
I’m just sayin’………………….that would be too big right? Right? Please say I’m right.
*faints*
Seriously.
POKE!!!*dies*
You are correct, BbB.
I don’t know that I’d even question. It would be more of a *flees with a quickness* moment. That’s just not natural.
You have to make some sort of
small talkconversation while you’re putting on your clothes…Ashes, ashes, we all fall DOWN!
They had the plague?!?
A bubo (Greek boubôn, “groin”) (plural form: buboes) is swelling of the lymph nodes. It is found in infections such as bubonic plague, gonorrhea, tuberculosis or syphilis.
Wrong ball.
But two with one kick.
Someone could hurt their ankle doing that.
*whistles innocently*
So Arthur.. when the Moomin says he grabs your ankles… does he mean… ummm… What exactly does he mean?
*whistles nonchalantly*
Are you sure you want to know?
*cough*
It’s not like she’s wrong…
That was the last fail.
Ever?? *sobs*
There, there.
*pat pat pat*
There really IS a Santa Claus, sweetie!
I thought he burned up?
That’s just your dyslexia, deary.
Does that mean something bad happened to Casual Stan??
*snork!*
*Falss to knees sobbong*
Nooooo!!! Not Casual Stan!!!!
*Laughing too hard to type properly*
Welcome to my gutter, sister in blue!
…and what a lovely gutter it is!
*squeeze*
I am not blue. Can I still join you in the gutter?
I’ve been in this gutter before?
*deja view*
gutter blue? I’m confused….
My gutter is an equal opportunity gutter. All who are not trolls are welcome.
*squeezesgutterpeeps*
*revels in gutter raunchiness*
*nastysqueezetoSuperGracieandhercape*
So, it’s settled.
Double the points.
Yay, Aiki!
*starts bubble machine*
Missed it by that much.
Depends.
…will most likely will be required for a time, yes.
That will be five thousand internets, please, for copyright violation.
*holds out hand*
*puts © in Judy’s hand*
*kick-ball-change*
Welcome to So You Think You Can Kick!*jazz square KICK!*
*judge falls down crying*
I am guessing his balls aren’t made of nerf material like Jules’.
Leila! Going for the low-hanging fruit, I see.
*squeeze!*
LOL!!!
Good to see you AA.
*squeeeeeeeze AA*
LEILA!!!
*SQUEEZE!!*
Where have you been, girl?!?
Loooooooooooong story.
I really didn’t mean to stay away this long however. One thing is that I needed to be in a better place in 2010 as far as work load is concerned. Better for my sanity … or lack of it.
Read your blog about your latest surgery. Hope you are doing well.
*carefulSqueeze*
I think we can all understand that reason, none of us want you to be so bogged down in work that we never see you again!
And I’m fine now, I still can’t go swimming (not that I have access to a pool), and the dissolving stitches popped out yesterday (intact, no dissolving) leaving a weird, deep little hole, but I’m perfectly fine now!
Good to hear Avis.
LEILA!!!
*pounce-squeeze!*
*POUNCETACKLESQUEEZE*
Leila! My precious Leila!
*missedyousomuchsqueezes*
*still dizzy, gets up to impose a SUPERSQUEEZE on LGBZDO*
*SUPASQUEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
I missed you too.
LEILA!
*pounce!*
You haven’t changed your blue-ness I see. Still looks good on ya!
*recovers from pounce to squeeze Judy*
*squeezesLeilaanddoesn’tletgo*
Wow! What a nice welcome!!! Have I been gone for that long?
*strains and reaches over and gathers AA, Avis, LGB and Judy in Gracie’s SqueezeEmbrace*
Hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.
Leila!! How very nice to see you.
*squeeze*
Hello Starfish! *squeeze* Have you been behaving?
Well? Or badly? Be specific!
I should have known better than to pose such a question.
I have been behaving for the most part. It’s hard to get naughty in the limited time I can spend here each day, but I try.
I hear you but you can still do it. Think of it as speed dating.
*still doesn’t let go*
Yes, you have been gone that long! And Brewski left, and Emp left, and I thought you had left, too!
*gives one more squeeze, then lets go so Leila can breathe*
I’ve been meaning to ask, why did Brewski leave? I miss him.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/11/13/halloween-costume-win/#comment-677175
That sucks so bad. I feel a little silly being a grown man crying in my cubicle as I read that thread but I can’t help it. Brewski is such a huge part of why I fell in love with Failblog. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
You have your chance now!
I don’t get it. Is he here today?
Yep!
Nobody In Particular is here!
*squeezes Nobody in Particular*
To nobody in particular: Thanks for welcoming me to Failblog on my first day posting. Thanks for getting my humor most of the time. Thanks for sharing yours. You are a great guy and like what many others have already expressed, I’m sure you have a good reason. I hope to see you around. If you (or any other of my failfriends for that matter) want to send me a friend request on Facebook (sorry no Myspace), my name is Don Runnion. Take care.
Shrek? Chicago?
You are so sweet!!!
I am sure noboby will appreciate this greatly.
That’s me AA.
I didn’t know Chicago was Far Far Away!
I’m working on the FaceBook thing. It may take me a week or two. Rooster said he would help, and I really need to find a better photo than the one I use on MySpace. But I’ll see you all there soon!
Garnets, it is when you’re in the burbs on the Kennedy Expressway trying to get toc a Cubs game at 7:00 on a Friday night.
Woohoo, Avis! Starfish I just sent you a request. I added a message, and I have my old avatar as my profile pic.
*waggles finger at Arthur and Starfish*
You behave now!
Thanks Starfish. That means a lot to me.
*BIG SQUEEZE*
Sorry I can’t stick around.
*dumps glue on NIP*
*hopes NIP sticks in place*
*waits…*
*GASP!!!*
Yes. Yes I do.
Thanks for the reminder.
I have to create an account.
Get yer keister signed up!
My eyes just leaked a little. *sniff*
*megasqueeze*
Much speculation and debate about that, Starfish.
Where did Emperor go? I miss everything around here.
On the same day, no less. And I never got to say goodbye.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/11/13/friday-rewind-cop-fail/#comment-677545
Just when I found out he was legal.
Yes. MUCH too long, dammit.
Hip-hip dammit! Leila’s back!
*feels left out*
*deliberately self-deprecates*
….
Even so, who else would do it for you but yourself?
Yes, it’s been that long! What’s new?
Not much really. I was proud of myself for preparing a turkey for my fam. They told me it was the moistest and most tasty turkey they’ve had.
Did it give you nightmares, though?
It did initially while I was awake!!!! Once my hubby cut the wrapping on it, my tummy did some weird things. I couldn’t look at the thing. Guess what fixed it? Baileys in my coffee…oh yes!! I didn’t touch the thing and I was able to instruct my hubby what to do however.
Did you add a little ….
…
…wait for it…..
…
SPAM™???
I have to find a way to strip you of your SPAM™ing.
It’s been violated enough, you say? Waaaaait… is that my turkey?!?
*welcomebacksqueeze*
Oh. Um. Ew? I thought you were only into the quadruped variety.
*squeezes AE and flees*
*gives Leila a pink flea collar*
*bedazzles pink flea collar*
FABULOUS!!!!
Yay! It’s hard to cook something you don’t like, I know.
What recipe did you use?
Found a brining recipe on Better Homes and Gardens mag at home. It marinated overnight and the next day, we added lots of rosemary, celery, lemon, garlic and onions in the cavity and roasted it. I will get the brining recipe – I just have to remember.
Ooooh – that sounds good. I haven’t been brave enough to try cooking a turkey quite yet. We go out to dinner on Thanksgiving. One of these days, I’ll have to try — if only so I can make turkey soup from the carcass & leftovers.
NS, if I can do it I am pretty sure you can too. Trust me. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
Welcome back Leila!
Thanks Jon!!
*squeeze*
And there was me thinking I had returned to an almost-empty FB!
*welcome-back-to-everyone-even-if-they-say-they-arent-staying-but-we-all-know-they’ll-be-back-squeezes*
*POUNCESQUEEZE*
GAH!
Ow!
MS B!!!
*squeeze!!!!!*
I was really worried you’d deserted us! I was seriously thinking this morning how much I missed you!
Aw Ms B!!
That is sooooo sweet. It wasn’t my intention to be gone for that long.
YAY! Leila!
It looks like you’ve been pounced enough, so..
*Extrahyooojsqueeze*
Glad to see you!
Glad to see you too GS! I won’t ask if you’ve been behaving.
Thanks for not pouncing on me. I’ve taken a few tumbles off my bike IRL while running my dog. The bruises are my badges of honor.
*has big scar on left knee for same reason*
*sympatheticSqueeze*
I do wish I was a more graceful bike rider, that’s for sure.
Took me six weeks to recover. Very painful injury. Just an abrasion, but a deep one. Needless to say, I don’t take the dog for a run on my bike anymore.
Too bad, really. I miss doing that.
Oh ouch!!! I have been lucky enough to land on grass where it cushions my falls. I don’t know how that happens but I am thankful. It’s kind of addicting once you get going though.
So, did you stop because it still hurts or for fear of being injured again?
And what do we learn from that? Send your kids to Judo lessons when they’re six years old. Force them to learn for at least two years. They won’t get hurt in ordinary falling down for the rest of their life.
OR, we can just stay home and never go outside. I am a homebody, I won’t mind.
“Outside?”
I’ve read of this in stories, but believed it was stuff of legend. How does one access it? A wardrobe, perhaps?
I think I’ve seen pictures of it in video games.
*guides Qwaz to the couch*
You’ll be safer here, Dear.
That is genuinely good advice Arthur. Knowing how to fall without hurting myself has saved me more times than I could count.
I think it’s good to learn this, too, but I can’t believe kids have to be taught this!
It’s true. Most people, kids included, stiffen up when they fall, which is why most of the injuries occur. You have to learn how to stay limp when you fall so you don’t get hurt. I learned how in theater and drama classes when I was a wee bit of a dragon!
Maybe I just fell a lot as a kid and learned the old-fashioned way.
Well, you can slow down time, so you had a secret weapon that most of the rest of us don’t!
In Aikido, the first thing you learn over and over is how to fall without hurting yourself. I was so sore the first couple of weeks.
If you liked it you should try Skijoring.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skijoring
*doesn’t have a dog*
*doesn’t think any of her cats would like to go for a run on her bike*
*sigh*
Cram them all together in a backpack, they love that. Safe riding!
I have a little basket that Baxter rides in when we go for a ride. I feel like Dorothy so I always wear a gingham check dress and braid my hair. No one here in Arkansas even takes a second look.
*snork!*
*snorkgiggle*
I may have to try that!
It’s great people just can’t get enerf of them.
*long-time-no-squeeze*
I think it is funny that the kicker feels obligated to roll around on the ground feigning pain as if he is hurt as badly as the kick-ee. Football (Soccer) is one of the few games that seems to cultivate whining and acting delicate.
I’m pretty sure he got hurt too.
Did he cry?
It sure looked like it.
*snork*
Maybe the kick-ee had balls of steel.
I want those! *sniff*
Jim? Is that you?
Couldn’t be. I think he’s a stranger.
Did he come out of the rain?
I think he went to the roadhouse to listen to the blues.
*nods to Judy, LGB, and Gracie*
I didn’t. It’s her roadhouse.
I thought he was Mr. Mojo Risin’.
Sympathy pains? I’ve heard guys get that just by seeing it happen to another fellow.
I’m guessing hyperextended knee?
I’ve found that behavior typical in every country outside the United States.
It’s amazing that the one who kicked that guy is complaining.
What the guy has balls made of steel?
That was his arch enemy.
The agony of da feet.
Don’t put a toe out of line.
Oops. I did. Now I feel like a heel.
A little flat footed?
Welcome to the wonderful world of taking a dive. This happens all the time in any sport where the ref can call a contact foul.
It’s pretty standard in soccer that when a foul occurs, both players fall down and cry about it to get the other player in trouble. God I can’t wait for next summer.
Old, but hilarious. Clicky!
There are an amazing amount of YouTube videos that show up related to “football” and “acting”.
Ugh. Refresh, Fluffy! Refresh!
Vinegar and water are your friends.
For that kind of pain, you need more than a friend.
You need anemone.
Ouch !!
That’s an understatement!
Nope. This ouch is an understatement.
Statement
Ouch
Okay if you go to the website for abc news, you will see that one of their stories has a picture of the oversized guy in the undersized seat on the plane.
Is he wearing child predator gloves and waving a slightly used rubber fist?
That’s photoshopped.
Definitely!
Do they offer F’acon flavored envelopes?
Leila!! Sooooo happy to see you!
*gentlesqueezes*
*hosts vegi feast in Leila’s honor*
It was Shot-oh-popped?
It hurts just watching this.
Good morning, Failpeeps!
We are rubbing off on my husband, who has never (to my knowledge) read the FailBlog comments. He e-mailed me to say he had watched Dirty Jobs last night, that the title of the episode was “Safety Third,” and that he instantly thought of me and my Failpeep friends.
Hiya, Leila!!! Welcome back!!! *squeeze*
*squeezylittleNS*
My husband is now saying “snork.”
My daughter is planning on popping by sometimes under the name Teenybopper.
She snorkitty’s now.
Hee! I saw that clip! I also instantly thought of everyone here!
Me too!
My hubby still doesn’t understand it, and I think has no interest in understanding. Congrats!
*wants to be able to say that one day*
Congrats?
“My hubby”.
I know silly. I was just being goofy…
!magine that. Me. Goofy.
Gawrsh!
I figured, I just thought I’d say it anyway.
*moi aussi*
I was having a conversation with Ms. Scott the other day, and when I quoted some statistic, without missing a beat she said, “That’s more than half!”
Give her a *squeeze* from me.
Omg, Scotty, that made me *SNORK!!*
*also leaves a squeeze for Ms. Scott*
Relayed to her that I posted this, and the squeezes. Her reply? “Safety third!”
Hello NS! Thank you so much!!!
It’s funny how the FB and real life lines have blurred.
Are we all going to be okay?
There are lines?
“Athletes really do sacrifice their bodies” and apparently their next of kin…
Awwww, I missed the brief appearance of Brewski. I never got to give him a final squeeze.
*sobs quietly*
*turns up the volume*
*bawls and wails like a banshee whose pet hamster died*
banshee’s have pet hamsters? Huh.
Not anymore they don’t.
*facepalm*
Right. Cause the hamster died. Sorry GBF. Didn’t mean to mock your pain.
If there’s one thing hamsters won’t put up with, it’s incessant whining.
Brewski was here?
Brewski, if you’re still lurking…
*SQUEEZE!*
razzaflabbin? Isn’t that an important part of our daily diet?
Only if you’re Yosemite Sam.
DRAT!! Witness protection fails again!
Tommy Knockers!
Sucker kick win!
Clearly a win
hahahahahahaha……*GASP!*BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA……
That’s not who you do it. Observe.
*puts hands on hips*
*stands and looks up, grinning maniacally*
*evil villain theme tune plays in background*
*cackles*
MUAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! AAAAHAHAAHAHAH!!! AHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!
There. Got it?
*puts hands on hips*
*twirls mustache and adjusts black hat*
*covers half of face with black cape*
MWA HA HA *cough* *COUGH!!!*
*drops on ground rolling and coughing*
*wheeze* *cough* I need more practice… And maybe have this cape washed once in a while *cough*
That kicker is such a faker.
I like how the guy in blue kicked the other guy in the junk and he is rolling around crying like he got hurt too. Soccer players are such babies.
Ooooh, he hit the post.
It’s going to be a while for the rebound.
That would make anyone cross, bar none.
The crows roars when they see it driven to the back of the nets.
Those crows are getting aggressive!
Ha! I don’t know what my problem is typing the letter
C SD."Ever roar."Coach, techneically i still hit a ball.
Techneically?
Tech… knee… ickly… Okay, I got nothing.
*kicks the GibberishTranslator™*
That’s not all that’s wrong with that post.
I can’t look at that post for too long or I go cross-eyed.
My friends and I would do that to get out of PE in Sixth grade, and we still do it sometimes. We started a business with it, too. In PE we’d always play a game involving kicking, and what we’d do is one of us would pretend to kick another one of us in the groin by accident, and we’d go to the College student union for chicken fingers instead of the nurse. People would pay us to “kick” them. I made hundreds. It was genius.
Wait… that was you?!?!
I wish I could make hundreds of chicken fingers with a single business plan.
This… is NOT fail…. This is, in fact, WIN.
My nuts say this is NOT a win.
I’ve heard of foot-ball, but this is ridiculous
My "Nuts!" says this is not a defeat.d’feet?
ouch, thats gotta hurt :/
what’s the black dude crying about????
¿Empathy?… watching the video makes me want start crying myself…
is it just me or did the kicker look at the camera and give a thumbs up ?!
ohh that’s gotta hurt, the black shirt guy its acting cuz hes gonna be explelled, so he is tryin to trick the referee
btw, its football not soccer, and its not a girly sport, football players doesnt wear any protection except for the shinguards and most of them use the smallest so they can move easily. and let me tell you, football hurts, i’ve suffer a lot of injuries.
Some places call it soccer, others call it football. I thought we were all clear on this?
Futbol
CROTCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You sir, are full of win.
That’s why I won’t play any sport where the objective is to kick the balls.
No-ones going to be taking the game ball(s) home now.
he kicked the balls!
lol, the kicker is such a faker)))….or maybe the guy in a yellow shirt has balls of steel O_O
It’s called football in civilised countries..
… and England.
football is so named not because you kick the ball with your feet, but rather because it is a game played on foot (as opposed to a mounted game like polo). Thus Football generally refers to the most popular game in a given region (football in the US, Soccer among the unwashed masses, and Aussie rules football down under.)
At least he hit some kind of ball…
Not only kicked both, but also turned them into 2-d objects
if the guy in black screwed his foot so badly, try to imagine the other guy’s bollocks…
wrong ball
Ese es de los nuestros…
Hrumph. That 16 must have changed his name from Fakie McPhakerston. See him scoping around for the onfield law? Geez.
Maybe that’s why Football is having a hard time legitimizing itself in North America – we don’t like watching grown men flop around on the ground in “pain” after THEY kicked someone in the balls.
Yep, that pretty much defines the A League (Australia).
Total carnage! That’s a red card for the green player.
I’m pretty sure that the “receiving” player turned green after the encounter…
NICE ONE.
Damn, he did really kick the ball o.O
Balls Of Steel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How in the hell is the guy on the black team hurt- HE KICKED THE OTHER PLAYER IN THE BALLS!
I think the kicker was writhing in pain because the dude had balls of steel.
hahaha good call, I go to see the team in yellow(central coast ) play regularly, That player always seems to get into fights with everyone.
The s the A League In Australia. Melbourne (the home team) is in blue and Central Coast are in yellow. I was actually at that game!
He did what he was supposed to do. He kicked the ball.
Thats why i support Melbourne Victory Go Hernadez!!!!!!!!!!!
Falcoooooon…
Well, he hit the ball(s) right?
It’s called FOOTBALL. Dumb Americans.
the best part is that the kicker does the better job of looking injured
go melbourne victory (navy blue team). that is why central coast (yellow team) fail they get hit in the balls always lol
Alcohol saved me from a lot of sports-related injuries.
Well h did hit the ball so it is not tecincally a foul