The most used button on the register
Customer Service Win
Push If Customer Sucks
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pushy clerksdon’t push my buttons
*poke*
*tickle*
You poke, you pay. We’re serious! :[
*poke*
*tickle*
*giggles*
*poke*
*tickle*
Who is going to pay for all of this?
:[
It’s coming out of your internets stash. Sorry.
*poke*
*tickle*
*pokes and tickles seriously*
*giggles*
*tickle*
*giggle*
:[
Which key do you press if the customer blows?
The one right below the “sucks” button.
what if they both sucks and blows?
you need to multibutton?
Only Mega Maid can suck and blow.
She can suck and blow but is no match for SPACE BALLS
Danger, danger, Will Robinson.
A vacuum cleaner can.
The same key. Also the button you should press if it’s your wife.
My son will kick your ass!!11!!
* kick *
*lick*
Your buttons don’t register anyway.
You so did not just till’er that
costumers suck fat ducks
I am sure some theatre staff and indeed poultry, would be very hurt by your assertions.
Oh, gawd, I hope Dilly doesn’t see his comment. I’m pretty sure she’s never had unnatural relations with ducks.
We’ll be waiting anxiously to see if she will seam stressed.
I hope she is not used to such needling.
What’s the difference between a duck?
*flees*
* thinking. … *
I never
*gooses*
That was different.
Both of the ducks have one of his legs.
But, but, but, but there’s no bones in icecream.
Ice cream can’t bang it’s head together when it walks.
One of it’s legs are both the same. Dad told me that one ad nauseam when I was little.
Costumers?
What do you have against people who dress up?
Unless you meant customers….THAT would make sense!
Oh nice… a Pita (Pain In The Ass) fee. Wonder how many stores do that?? haha
*pushes*
Huh? Nothing happened.
*sucks*
*steals Jules’ straw*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
That was my last straw.
*chases Gracie*
*giggles*
*runs faster*
You can run but you can’t hide.
*continues chase*
*Wonders if others should join chase.*
*Holds a straw poll.*
Hay there! The results show that 10 out of 10 straws lack the ability to answer polls.
That’s just a straw man. Where are your results?
I think he ate his pie chart…
after all it was a full pie…
mmmmmmm pie
Where did you reed that?
I think he’s been bamboozled.
Let’s not have a rush to judgment.
But don’t you feel better!
No. Let me do that again.
*pushes button ten more times*
*gently removes Gracie from the register*
*walks her to the break room*
Here, have some cookies.
*eyes cookies warily*
They’re not spam cookies are they?
No, I’m veggie, why would I torture both of us!
Chocolate chip
Triple choc
or caramel.
*noms on cookies*
Fanks!
*pours a big mug of cocoa for Ms B*
*sips*
Mmmmmmm….
*falls asleep*
*gives Ms B a warm fuzzy blankie and a floofy pillow*
*puts up “Do Not Disturb” sign*
*tiptoes away*
*brightens*
*takes a handful of each*
*pours two big mugs of cocoa and gives one to k@*
*noms*
*squeeze*
Woo Cocoa.
*slurps*
*ears perk up*
Cocoa?
*puppy dog eyes*
Awww, what a cute puppy!
*pours a big mug of cocoa for GS*
*shlllluuuurp*
Fankoo!
Suddenly, I’m hungry for Spam™ cookies…
Bleah. No cocoa for you!
You want gravy with spam cookies anyway.
MmmmmMMMmmmm! Gravy!
I thought you were asleep.
*Boards the gravy train*
*Makes a whistle stop*
*Squeezes Moomin*
*Heads on down the line*
Drat! Derailed!
*sails gravy boat across the spillage*
*Squeezes Marius aboard*
*heads for the horizon*
*Bows to the gravy master*
Gravy is evil!
*mixes fresh batch of Spam Cookies™*
*adds extra tin foil*
*pops in microwave*
*taps foot*
DING!
Fresh Spam Cookies™ just for you, Judy-poo!
*giggles*
Well, doesn’t that just blow?
Those hookers are doing it wrong.
I t'ought I t'aw a pushy tat.Is there a button if they swallow as well?
Let us hope there is no spit one.
*shudder*
What goes down must come back up?
*gag*
The Bovine Mantra.
Cud it out!
Blaaaaaargh!
Haven’t we milked this pun for all it’s worth?
Don’t be so cheesy.
But it’s gouda to be cheesy !
either that… or creemie…
and thats milking it somemore
Udderly right.
Edam those nesting fails.
how dair’y pass another milk joke?
They just keep churning ‘em out!
Customer is always right fail.
Keen observation — WIN!
The saying “customer is always right” IS a fail.
We used to have an Idiot tax button in the bar I ran, it added 10p extra to a round each time the customer was a jerk.
I did! I did t'aw a pushy k@!9
I could only count 6.
Well, erm
2 on my back
My half sleeve
My chest piece
2 on my wrists
2 on the backs of my calves
and an ickle tiny one on my ankle!
.
.
.
Need more.
*wonders which 3 Jules missed*
Not sure, I’ll have to look again.
*has 2, won’t say where*
*wants more, but hubby won’t acquiesce*
*pouts*
Wait till he does something stupid, the forgive him on proviso!
That’s just the problem: he never does anything stupid. I swear the man is perfect.
He is male, and human, ergo he will slip up……eventually!
Now I see the kind of plotting that goes on behind our backs.
*squeeze*
I am quite open about it!
I usually slip up more than my Hubby does, thus he gets his way more than I get mine!
I’m just teasing k@, Ms. Scott and I are very much the same way.
I have one, but my daughter’s half brother is going to do another for me. Lovely young man. 25 peircings above his shoulders alone.
That’s only cool if it opens a trap door.
Or squirts the customer.
How about a cartoon rubber mallet popping out of the register?
Did you say rubber halibut?
I thought it was shellacked?
Holy mackerel!
Oh my cod!
(Sal)mon dieu!
Carp blimey, you were so surprised your avatar fell of.
*nails hers in plaice*
*Resolves to clam up until his avatar eels.*
Don’t be crabby about it Afer.
What if the customer buys Twilight? Does the clerk push the button?
A stake through the heart would be the more traditional method …
Or perhaps a silver bullet…
Cut head off.
Fill mouth with garlic.
Cut hands off.
Place hands and head at foot of coffin.
Place heavy stones on chest.
Force Iron Nail through heart.
Fill coffin with rice and garlic.
Bury at cross roads.
.
.
Did I forget anything
It’d be easier to put the nail through the heart before you put the stones on the chest.
Bury it beneath the shadow of a windmill, best vampire kill ever.
Ah, but this covers most eventualities, including if it is fey.
Like the windmill trick, but surely only works if it has 4 blades!
You also need dramatic light behind the windmill. You have to be proper cushty to pull it off.
*cue dramatic music*
The best vampire kill ever was Jack Palance getting pinned to an upturned table with a lance in the morning sunlight. IMHO.
I have always loved the Over the top death scenes….or the ones that make me laugh! Zombie films are my favourite, just because most of them are so tongue in cheek (or poking out of cheek due to putrefaction)
Peter Cushing, in the library, with the candlesticks
(clicky)
*wonders whats so dramatic about making a cup of tea*
*looks around and panics*
*flees*
*Collars and squeezes*
*slips in double squeeze while Marius and Moomin are busy*
You forgot to lift the nightshade… let’s shine some sun in here.
A bella donna can’t be expected to remember everything.
Thought that was werewolves?
Aren’t there werewolves in Twilight part 2?
Yes, yes there are.
Another legend ruined.
Fingers crossed for Vampires v Mummies in the third film!
On a flying saucer?
Whilst escaping from Godzilla attacking
Technically, I think they’re just shapeshifters that call themselves werewolves.
You read the books too huh?
My girlkid found a Patterson quote that said that his hairstyle is 75% of his performance. Since the guy isn’t terribly familiar with the shower, I think that explains a lot.
I read them after I watched the first movie. I wasn’t impressed with it at all, and I figured maybe the books would be better. Meh. They were alright, but I don’t feel the need to own them. Or even read them again.
I’m with you. I liked the books. Once. But the movies? Not so much.
Actually you find out at the end of book 4 they aren’t really werewolves. So, not ruined.
Now what would you do if you had a psyco customer?
(Don’t push the Big Red Button)
That was easy.
id kill for one of these at work
I dunno what it does, but I want it.
I thought this register was lost when the Quickstop burned down.
We can rebuild it, we have the technology!
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them…
You can call……The Fail Team?
I love it when a Fail comes together!
I love the smell of Fail in the morning.
Headed up by our very own Super Gracie!
I ain’t gettin’ on no plane!
*slips sedatives in warm milk*
Just like mom use to make.
* adds Kahlua *
*sips milk*
Murdock, you crazy
*passes out*
*drags B.A. on the plane*
*braids B.A.’s mohawk*
This isn’t so bad….it’s actually supposed to say “Popsicles” but they just ran out of room on the button.
Now that’s a job with benefits!
this must be a cash box for male prostitute
Vacuous consumers?
Register a complaint.
Vacuoles, you mean it is a plant?
*puts on tin foil hat*
*gibbers*
*Hoovers over a cornfield*
That explains the crop circles.
Ciggaretts…khm..khm…
The FAIL within the WIN
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia – fear of money.
And, just for fun,
Ancraophobia or Anemophobia – fear of wind.
*farts*
*flees*
*hands k@ GasEx™ and Raid™*
Thank you
*delicatesqueeze*
Raid?
That just does not register.
*collars*
*squeeze*
LGB, is there a fear of customers? Or maybe a fear of idiocy?
*LGBsqueeze*
Don’t Squeeze too hard!
*squeeze*
As to fear of customers- I think I am developing that!
*is VERY glad she doesn’t work in retail anymore*
↑ Ditto
I had my fill at Blockbuster. Worst. Customers. In. The. World.
Worked a Movie Gallery. I feel your pain.
Worked a toy store, for the holiday season. Worst job I ever had.
I worked in retail for most of my adult life. The job I hated the most was a JCPenney-like dept. store in CA (that doesn’t exist anymore, so I’m told). I worked in the china dept. We’d get so busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas that you couldn’t even leave the register to pee.
*once again is SO glad to be out of retail*
My favorite were the customers who would balk, argue and yell at me over a $2 late fee, then pull out a huge wad of $20’s to pay for their movie.
How about the ones who call you a liar when you tell them they didn’t turn their movies in on time? Joy.
Yeah, because when his five movies came in, I knew they were his, so I put them aside, checked in all the other movies in the bin and left his to check in a week later. I am just that evil.
Either that or they got stuck in the drop box overnight, and even though you’ve checked in hundreds of other movies, those ones didn’t get checked in until the following afternoon.
Worked a Sears Portrait Studio over Christmas… that was a blast…
I worked as a waitress in a 50’s style theme diner. We had nickle burger nights. At one point, I really thought that meant what they tip, not what they pay.
….and to prove a point, I just got bawled out, cause I asked a client to repeat himself
Push the button, k@. Push the button!
Oh I have!
…..and now I am being cried at…
*headdesk*
Worked a call center for state welfare… only place you can be commanded to go to hell and called all sorts of fun names, and then blessed by the same person within 7 minutes.
*puts a pillow between k@’s head and her desk*
*gives her customer a tissue and a boot-to-the-head*
*wonders if JW ever asked them if they kiss their kids with that mouth*
I dont know if you noticed, but on the right there’s a list with products. Check out the number 7…
more like, check the spelling on #20
They mean medical drugs.
Stop pressing my buttons!
*pushes buttons*
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Cha-ching!!
actually what does that button do?
Opens a trap door and the customer goes to the pit of eternal fails.
Push it and find out!
I’m guessing maybe that’s a button to void a transaction?
Just trying to think of some action that would make this qualify as funny, but have no retail background.
Not really sure. One would assume it’s a “call manager” button that somebody edited a bit. If you’ve got a pissy customer, that’s the best method- make someone else handle it.
Alright now that’s funny, wish I’d have had that when I was working at McDonalds.
Actually what happens when the button is pushed is… a large comical boxing glove pops out of the desk and nails whoever the customer is right in the junk.
Now thats funny.
# 7 – drugs . wtf ???
BUSTED!
WAAAANT!!!
I like how toys are right next to cigarettes check out my channel i just started it and have 3 good uploads already =D
Link?
sharing fail!
That’s what I use for my wife
from personal experience I’d say that the majority of customers suck… and not in a good way
They also absolutely destroyed the spelling of the word “cigarettes”.
There are some customers who suck so much that even twent buttons will not help them.
I’ve worked on a cash register for many years. At my store we’ve done the same thing lots of times. There are some buttons on some cash registers that have the labels flipped over with stuff just like that written on them. We know what the button does anyway, so it doesn’t matter. If you ever worked with the public, you totally get why people do it.
And spelling the spelling of Cigarettes..
“Is that you Claire? What happened to college-education? -Well, I flunked and started working here instead.”
No 20 on list bottom right:
20.Ciggaretts
”Ciggaretts” WTF???!!??? >>> FAIL
I like how food, chemicals and paper are grouped together, naturally!
Failblog, I am disappoint. I can’t believe no one’s made this reference yet:
Just because they serve you, doesn’t mean they like you.
looks like a register win to me
I used that button almost constantly when i used to work at mcdonalds in my first job.
The “check flash” not says Junction City as a location for the bank. I live in Junction City. It is now my life’s mission to find this register.
You live in Junction City? The one in Oregon? That’s crazy. I can show you the register, if you want to see it that bad.
Nope, the one in Kansas. I guess I’ll have to wait a while to see it.
That’s too bad.
That is a win and a fail. The Win is the button, the fail is the Cigarettes misspell in the bottom right corner.
Haha, good point Chris. Glad I wasn’t the one that made that card.
Yes that button is hilarious but they also misspelled cigarettes!! hahaha!
Holy shit! That’s a Citizen’s bank note! Is this in RI?
I wish that button was on every register and opened a trap door that deposited the customer directly into the landfill my store is built on… asshats
We had a button on our register that rang up ‘Slap Cust.’