Um, I thought the Darwin Award goes to anyone who has managed to remove themselves from the gene pool….. so you don’t have to be dead, just unable to have kids after whatever your award-winning moment is.
Yes. It’s our fiendish plan: They’ll become so moronic that they won’t be able to post comments, seldom turn on the computer! Then we’ll be finally rid of those ghastly trolls! Huzzah!
I think it’s Bailey’s and lime juice. And as to “why” – it’s like asking why sit at a bar and make an ass out of yourself all night? – but some of us do it anyway.
I’m goin’ way down south where the big blue agave grow,
Takin’ a weekend trip down to Baja, Mexico!
Where you can drink the water, but don’t ya eat the ice,
Take your vitamin “T” with salt ‘n lemon slice …
I say,
One shot…Hey! Mas Tequila-
Two shots…Hey! Hey! que veneno-
Three shots…Hey! Arriba! Hey! Hey! Hey! Mas Tequila!
Myself, I prefer lime
And, no, I can’t come back – I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
At first, I thought this was a poor poor entry, but the more and more I look at it. If you look closely, there is something caught, like a hood string from I believe her hooded sweatshirt, and once she jumps it’s yanked by the swing itself. Thus creating something you all like to call, a fail.
Something is wrapped around her neck. I’m pretty sure it’s not the chain from the swing, because the swing stays parallel to the ground. Looks pretty painful, whatever it is.
ok, MsB will be playing “kettle”. Auditions for “pot” will be held in the breakroom this afternoon. Rehearsals will start tomorrow at the break of noon.
Well, since she followed up with a pic of her injured neck, it sounds like she’s more comfortable with it being on the Internet than you are, so I’m going with it.
pitz. I keep reading the the correct New Haven, CT pronunciation of pizza (spelled “apizza” back then) is something like “a-BEETS”, but I’ve never actually heard anyone call it that.
(If there’s a pun there, it’s going over my head.)
No, but I did work at a few financial companies in my former life… and the first Fail I commented on was the Stockbroker Fail back in later winter/early spring.
Hmm… my scanning device shows a dip in intelligence in this section of the thread. Lets put things back on track with the video
===============\/\##¬\/\==================
DERAILED THREAD, REPAIRING AND DIVERTING TRAINS
================|/\/\\#¬==================
Ok it’s all fixed past this point =D, you may comment about teh fail after this point!
Shame! We should try talking about the fail. Or the fact that I like rum balls. Especially when they soak and you get to drink the rum after eating the rum soaked ball.
Yay! Since the F.Blog is acting up again (for me apparently) I’ll go check that out. I think my step-father might be interested in a dessert like that.
Great, the reply thing is broken again…
Looks like the whole space/time continuum is busted too.
My previous comment was in reply to “here4tehlulz” somewhere up there…
Doesn’t apply to butter cows…nothin’ in the handbook says we can’t nom our beefy cousins. Now, if you had said a BUTTERburger…then we’d have a problem.
It was pretty good, and not too hectic, thankfully. My mom worked Thanksgiving this year, so we went to the in-laws Thursday and then to my mom’s Friday for twice the overeating. Then my in-laws already had us over last night for the traditional pot-pie with the leftovers.
*is still stuffed*
Sounds tasty! I will have details posted about mine in a few hours or so. It was… interesting.
No leftovers for me though. My stepfather is currently eating the last of the sweet potatoes. And I’m reasonably sure he ate the rest of the pumpkin cheesecake. Which, by the way, was FANTASTIC!!!
Thanks to Ry, for the fabulous recipe!!
No leftovers?!?! That’s slightly depressing. I have so much food in my fridge! I actually had to throw out birthday cake so it wouldn’t sit in the house forever and not get eaten. And I need to make another one this weekend! Those birthdays are too darn close together.
We went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving and didn’t bring back any leftovers, so I’m making my own turkey on Wednesday (my day off). Plenty of leftovers!
Any suggestions for sides? My daughter wants the classic green bean casserole, which I find boring, but hey, she’s the princess…
Might do some variation of pumpkin black bean soup.
I wish I had a creative side to suggest, but we usually do the classics like potatoes and yams etc. I did a yummy spinach salad with poppyseed dressing, but that’s as creative as we get.
My favorite part of Thanksgiving was the turkey open-faced sammiches the next day. Toasted Italian bread spread with heated leftover mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy, and then with some of my Cabernet cranberry sauce spooned over it.
It’s awfully long for a hoodie string. You can actually see it streaming out behind her just as she starts to jump off. It’s at least 6-8 feet. Too thin to be a scarf, decidedly too long and thin to be hair. Would a surfboard tether be around her neck like that? I thought they were attached to an ankle.
Think it’s her necklace or blouse or something… something around her neck. Because in the original video she is showing the burn mark around her neck, but it’s cut off here.
Am I the only one being creeped out by the black-and-white picture of some scary face in the HUGE CYBER MONDAY SALE!!! advert, below the Squishables one? It sends shivers up my spine when that face appears. Just like when Hershey guy did.
Three of them RAN INTO MY LIVING ROOM on Saturday. I had to chase them out and disinfect my kitchen and couch. They were clinging to the blinds and squeaking while my friend squealed “SQUIRRELS! SQUIRRELS!! like a little girl, although he’s a 30-year old guy. I had to yell at them and point at the door. Don’t put toasted nuts on a windowsill to cool, kids.
Squirrels are great. For years we had one that would wander into the house, sit on your lap or the couch and watch TV. She also beat up on the neighborhood cats.
I had thought idly of making friends with these guys, one was on my balcony in the morning when I had coffee and hung out for a minute, so I thought, “Maybe in a few months they’ll take some peanuts from a foot away or something.” No, six hours later they were running all over my house. I felt so violated.
I was expecting that! The dirty streets of Philadelphia have clearly corrupted these rodents. I should’ve known when I watched one eat a huge onion ring last weekend. He probably bought it at a drive-thru.
One of the swing chains actually broke apart. Perhaps some playground official (not the swinging lady) failed to fix up the swing chain properly or the chain had rusted so much that it actually became weak and brittle.
I dont think it was a scarf. It looks like the string to the Hood of her Hoodie.
Which is exactly why little kids’ hoodies dont (or shouldnt) have strings to pull the hoods closed. I remember a few years back hearing rumors of kids dying this way.
Oops!
Primus!
nerd.
Swing, swing, swing from the tangles of…
dead
This is a contender for the Darwin Awards!
Michael Behe Awards you mean? Darwin goes to the dead.
Um, I thought the Darwin Award goes to anyone who has managed to remove themselves from the gene pool….. so you don’t have to be dead, just unable to have kids after whatever your award-winning moment is.
She totally could’ve died just then if her feet didnt hit the ground and absorb some of the impact.
That’s why I’m not a swinger.
Cuz your wife would tie you to a swing and push you off?
Well, that too, I suppose…
You two are doing it wrong…
Now now…everyone has their own “style” yanno. :p
Absolutely not! I won’t hear of it! Now I have to run, Judy’s hiding sprinkles in my pants.
This looks like Mission Beach, CA–I’ve swung there
I didn’t know you were a swinger, zooomie… tell me more.
*snorkle* I thought you would say that…..
thx
Wayyyyyyy down there…
Yah, who borked the thread, anyway??
Spammer troll.
Loverly.
Too many entanglements?
can’t be a swinger when you’re chained down.
What WAS that??
Failblog… DOT ORG
ZAP!
*THUD!*
DORG!
I believe it was a chain reaction
It’s hard to link them together.
A younger child would have had a meltdown.
That blow to the head must have caused some con-fusion.
Good thing she didn’t fly into that mesh fence.
She is one braizin’ woman.
They cut off the end of the video where she shows off her horrible neck scar/burn.
Is she as good as nuclear?
Are you fission for more puns here?
You’re positively a proton making puns.
Well, I wouldn’t want you to get Bohr-ed.
*Niels down*
I’m not worthy.
I brought some gluon in case this thread gets broken.
Yay Fuzzie!
I didn’t think he had a ghost of a chance of powering a fail…
It’s a ghost of his formal self.
He’s gone the gray.
Nope! FUZZY FUZZY FUZZY!!!!!!
*Turns off lights*
*Stares into mirror*
Fuzzy, Fuzzy, Fuzzy.
Ooo, does that work??
*stares into mirror*
Pygmy marmoset, Pygmy marmoset, Pygmy marmoset!
Biggie Smalls
Biggie Smalls
Biggie Smalls
Oh snap.
what the feck was she caught by? xD
The ground.
Her neck.
The gravity of the situation.
Surprise.Hey where did you come from??? You powered the fail!!!
Regrets.
hahaha xD
“When life gives you lemons, you just say F*ck the lemons, and bail.”
~Chuck
When life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila!
When life gives you lemon’s, you squeeze the juice in Life’s eyes and run.
When life gives you lemons, make up stupid quotes about them.
(Sorry, BG, wasn’t meant at you, just at the whole “when life gives you lemons” thing)
When life gives you stupid quotes, make stupidade out of them and feed it to the trolls.
Oh gawd…do we REALLY need to make them stupider?
Yes. It’s our fiendish plan: They’ll become so moronic that they won’t be able to post comments, seldom turn on the computer! Then we’ll be finally rid of those ghastly trolls! Huzzah!
Oo. Good plan. Please, continue!
When life gives you stupid quotes, make lemonade out of them, kick back and relax.
That’s about all they are good for.
I’m dyslexic. I always thought life was giving me melons.
I know it gave me melons!
With a melon?!
Melon-Curry?
I will not buy this melon, it is scratched!
*covers BFF’s eyes*
These are not the melons you are looking for.
“Those are grapefruits.”
How I long for a grapefruit…
Sorry, but…you’re a f*cking squirrel.
*hides makeup in tree*
Your expression…did you leave the gas on?
I did NOT have sex with those melons
A melon collie.
Read my lips: No new melons!
*snork*
When life gives you lemons, make grapejuice.
wow u suck at life
When life gives you limes, make White Russians!
And when life gives you cherries….?
Tickle them?
pop them
Wipe your chin after you are done eating.
Work with me, AA. Come on.
Claim an allergy and sue.
Doesn’t adding lime to a White Russian make a Cement Mixer?
I think it’s Bailey’s and lime juice. And as to “why” – it’s like asking why sit at a bar and make an ass out of yourself all night? – but some of us do it anyway.
Oh, God. Wodka, Kahlua and milk or whip cream. Definitely NO lime juice.
Only if you are jimmie hoffa.
I said NO SPRINKLES!!!
Why would you put limes in White Russians? Vodka, Kalhua, and CREAM?
Eww. Curdles my stomach just thinking about it.
Why would you make a margarita with lemons and not limes was sort of my point…
*palms forehead*
I’m so sorry.
*chants to self- read the WHOLE strand*
*chants along with TripleB*
*chants with 3B and GS*
*chants and waves her arms mystically*
*sign, sign pass*
New chant everybody!
Owa – tago – saim.
Owa-tago-saim.
Lemon, salt, tequila – why are you trying to add anything else? Who is this “Margarita” you speak of?
You…you…you…explained a reference!
*feels an icy chill*
*turns up the mojito*
* sees the sunrise *
I…don’t even know who I am anymore…*cries* *drinks Manhattan made with Kahlua and frog legs*
You forgot the capers.
*drops them in*
Cool! The Muppet I threw in was getting totally bored.
There are places in New Mexico that use lemons for their margaritas instead of limes, and the drinks are FANTASTIC!!!!
Blasphemy! Like there’s any such place as “New” Mexico!!
To quote Sammy Hagar (of Cabo Wabo ownership) –
I’m goin’ way down south where the big blue agave grow,
Takin’ a weekend trip down to Baja, Mexico!
Where you can drink the water, but don’t ya eat the ice,
Take your vitamin “T” with salt ‘n lemon slice …
I say,
One shot…Hey! Mas Tequila-
Two shots…Hey! Hey! que veneno-
Three shots…Hey! Arriba! Hey! Hey! Hey! Mas Tequila!
Myself, I prefer lime
And, no, I can’t come back – I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
*pretends to be nonchalant about the unexpected appearance of WN*
WN!!!!
*quicksqueezies*
Miss you..thanks for the drop-in…
Teasing us like that just isn’t fair.
*walks by nonchalantly*
*does double-take*
*drops to knees, with widened eyes*
*lower lip trembles*
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZES all around (nonchalantly, of course
)
Laterz!!
Now we know how to T’s him out of retirement.
*see ya later squeeze*
Too bad LGB isn’t here…
*SQUEEZES WN*
Nice to see you WN!
*squeeze*
Hmmm.. You may be on to something AA!
*starts planning long vegetarian-related thread*
*starts planning long beer-related thread*
*gives hearty squeeze to WN*
Do visit often! We miss you!
*fly-by squeezie for WN*
*goes to make a drink*
…HEY! What happened to our entire stock of Cabo???
* urp! *
* smacks lips *
hhhmmm… that was tasty !
I can’t BELIEVE I missed WN!!
Please drop in more often….
In Society Russia, limes make life!
It was a scarf
Well that’s one way to keep your teenagers in line. Chain them to the swing.
That’ll learn ‘em! Think of the whining, though…
Naw, if you make sure they’re chained to the neighborhood swing, they’ll be too far away for you to hear any whining.
Hello, duct tape the mouth.
Silly, that’s from when they learn to talk until age thirty.
Uh, you’re supposed to untape them at thirty?
*hurries to basement with scissors and chap stick*
MOM?? *cries*
At first, I thought this was a poor poor entry, but the more and more I look at it. If you look closely, there is something caught, like a hood string from I believe her hooded sweatshirt, and once she jumps it’s yanked by the swing itself. Thus creating something you all like to call, a fail.
I think it’s the broken chain (which caused the fall) wrapped around her neck as she was falling. I missed that the first time.
Watched again, nope, the chain didn’t break.
She got hair down to her knee
Got to be a joker she just do what she please
(Fly) over me
She’s one Zorby roller
Yay!!!!
She one spinal cracker
You can feel her disease
No, thank you.
No, thyself.Knoe U!!
*studies dilly biblically*‘Cause I’m ineffable?
you're effable beyond words, darlin'And to think I was going to do a Fleetwood Mac reference.
Keep us together…
I smell a new avatar…
Not from me. Too much work.
*runs into the shadows*
I don’t think the 80 people who’ve been in that band would fit in that tiny box, anyway…
I believe it to be a surfboard “leash” that she never removed and paid for it dearly.
Professor I. M. Boring? Is that you?
And oddly enough, that wasn’t very original or funny. Weird isn’t it? (For those of you who don’t/wouldn’t know, that was sarcasm.)
Really?
This was supposed to be a reply to Sprinkles down there. Sorry, I should’ve refreshed the page before commenting.
Beakman’s World reference… fail. >sob<
*pat pat pat*
But the fact that you know Beakman’s World reverses that fail and makes it a win.
Thanks Captain Obvious
It’s actually my scarf that caught
It seems swing is in your genes, strongly linked to hair. This may be a painful revelation to some.
Those of less video-ly fortunate would request a blow by blow description of the scene?
*I would like to know what happened*
*squeeziespeeps*
Girl is on a swing, getting up momentum to jump. Girl jumps. Chain on swing catches her…. ponytail? neck? not sure yet. Girl does not go very far.
Something is wrapped around her neck. I’m pretty sure it’s not the chain from the swing, because the swing stays parallel to the ground. Looks pretty painful, whatever it is.
You’re right, looking again it seems her hair may really be that long. Ouch…
I think she was hoodwinked by a drawstring.
Yep, that’s what it looks like… drawstring from the hoodie.
Nope, it was my scarf.
hoodie and a scarf?
haha, no, just a scarf.
You’re awfully brave asking for a “blow by blow description” around this bunch!
Maybe she is just looking for some action.
Don’t you pull that – I KNOW you were thinking the same thing!
*knows she was thinking it too*
Plenty of room here in the gutter with me!
Pot calling kettle, line 1, please…
I have no idea what y’all are talking about.
*bats eyelashes in an innocent way*
ok, MsB will be playing “kettle”. Auditions for “pot” will be held in the breakroom this afternoon. Rehearsals will start tomorrow at the break of noon.
Don’t ask her where she got her spout.
I’ll handle this!
There’s no need for you guys to get all steamed up over this.
Well, la, tea, da!
Careful, if you tease her too much she’s liable to boil over.
She has to learn to take her lumps.
Advertising person: Is tea bag one word or two?
Smart@ss co-worker: Are you using it as a noun or a verb?
*drops a teacup poodle in Ry’s lap*
Politics or drink? Adjective or noun?
*drops a rabid rottweiler in Sauerkraut’s lap*
Hey now… that’s not very neighborly.
Thank you very much. A sad “tail” indeed. Poor girl. I guess her coach didn’t tell her to “swing away”.
You’d better get your own noon to break. The last time I had to fix my noon it was in the shop for a week!
Poor Scotty! No nooners for a week!
That must have been rough on you.
It was terrible!
Shocked! SHOCKED I am at these shenanigans!
*snerk*
I saw this in the vote pages, afterwards it showed the girl with severe strangle marks on her neck.
This is fail but you have to draw the line sometimes, she could have died.
Well, since she followed up with a pic of her injured neck, it sounds like she’s more comfortable with it being on the Internet than you are, so I’m going with it.
It’s funny until somebody gets hurt… then it’s hilarious.
We had a manager at the pizzeria that used to say, “It’s all fun and games until someone loses a pie!”
Do you say peezaria or pitzaria?
pitz. I keep reading the the correct New Haven, CT pronunciation of pizza (spelled “apizza” back then) is something like “a-BEETS”, but I’ve never actually heard anyone call it that.
Have you ever been a stockbroker?
(If there’s a pun there, it’s going over my head.)
No, but I did work at a few financial companies in my former life… and the first Fail I commented on was the Stockbroker Fail back in later winter/early spring.
Oh, Sal, OK. I thought everyone says “pitz”, or maybe more of a “peetz”.
They tease him for it all the time, like armpit pitzaria.
The old guy at the European (north end mainstay) pronounced it “bee tza ree ah.” But he was Corsican if I recall.
I grew up in CT, never heard it said that way.
I read that so wrong and am still not sure how my mind inserted extra letters between the C and T.
Forget your mind, I want to know when you are going to insert your face. My beauty.
Make you come in her parlor?
You’d like to watch that, too?
No. Really. No. Maybe. Umm. No. Definitely no. A little. Sort of. No.
*decision swing*
Splunge!
The UN is in NY, not CT…
Nice one! Are you using the same email address when you post here that you used at gravatar.com? You should have a real avatar showing up by now.
I’ve actually never been on gravatar… different Dude, I guess… I’m tired of being generic!!!
You grew up near the Mystic beetzareeah?
No foul unless blood is drawn.
Brain cells right here. Spammers not welcome.
Brain cells here, too. I do not want sprinkles this time.
And for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
And god help you if I find jimmies!
I hate those gas guzzlers almost as much as hummers.
*has a dirty mind*
I think I read that wrong at first.
I think.
Find Jimmy’s what? Jimmy’s sprinkles?
*adjusts halo*
I don’t know why you would read anything dirty into what I might say.
But hummers can be nice!
But the noxious fumes and emissions can be bad for my environment
I don’t think that’s the kind of hummers….oh, right, same with those, too. Carry on.
Eep!
*hides the jimmies in dilly’s jammies*
Just don’t get them tangled in her Fuzz on the Concept.
This is getting better and better.
Didn’t really expect you to be WEARING them at the time….oh, well.
*continues hiding jimmies*
We be jammin'.I’m sticky.
*cues Unchained Melody*Melody, after being unchained and driven insane, grabs chainsaw and runs off to commit acts of indescribable messiness.
*cries* *puts on white dress* *throws a pot*
tries to cheer dilly up with some TMI Service[actual Q & A from WikiAnswers.com:]
Q. How does clay turn into pottery?
A. The makers sculpt the clay in order to make pottery and then put it in a oven and let it harden.
I thought that was how a bill became a law?
I need your law, I need your law, God speed your law to me....('I'll be coming home, wait for me!')
Hmm… my scanning device shows a dip in intelligence in this section of the thread. Lets put things back on track with the video
===============\/\##¬\/\==================
DERAILED THREAD, REPAIRING AND DIVERTING TRAINS
================|/\/\\#¬==================
Ok it’s all fixed past this point =D, you may comment about teh fail after this point!
Yes, you pinpointed it exactly . Good job!
We are supposed to comment on the fails? What’s the fun in that?
I’m going to comment on a Fail, but not this one -
I can’t believe he tried to insert that !
I am not for inserting!
It’s OK, just chill.
It’ll make it easier. We wouldn’t do that.Armageddon!?!?!?!?!
Oh, sh!t! Nobody light a match!!!
oh man… talk about nesting fail. well, what the he!ll… maybe I’ll just swing with it.
Combo breaker!
Switching to new fail for discussion: Do you remember the one with the guy and the thing in the background? I bet you could insert that!
The guy with the naked dad in the background on the couch? I am not sure he is gonna fit.
I like cereal.
Me, too! My favorite used to be Days of our Lives. Until I started working full-time, that is.
Oh, I miss Passions. *Sigh*
I had a roommate in college who recorded that show, just in case she wasn’t home.
Is that the one with the witch and the possessed doll?
And the dude who got pregnant and his drunk doctor mom had to deliver his baby on the kitchen table while everyone was at the Vatican.
Oh I never got that far into it. I think I stopped after the talking doll actor died.
Wait a minute, deja vu…
ht tp://failblog.org/2008/12/31/fathers-day-fail/#comment-225490
Hahahaha today is full of de ja vroom.
si and I like Potatoes
i hope shes ok
Or not. We rarely continue to talk about the fail. Neither do we WANT to, most of the time.
Birdie, hi! I made a pie with half a bottle of bourbon in it. I even found a way to put it in the crust! MMMMMM!!
Oh yeah, swing hair fall down go boom ouch
Half a bottle of bourbon? Ummm… please send that recipe to my clickie!!! Pppppppleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase!?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr indeed! I just spent ten minutes typing the damn thing in there, then when I clicked “preview” it ate it. I’ll try again later.
Shame! We should try talking about the fail. Or the fact that I like rum balls. Especially when they soak and you get to drink the rum after eating the rum soaked ball.
I prefer chocolate bandit masks.
I thought the first Mask movie was ok, but Jim Carey can over act. There, I said it.
Almost as if he graduated from the William Shatner School of Acting.
Toy Story 2 was ok.
Thank you!! There is a new post up now, so it might be the perfect place to put a comment including a recipe!
Wait, what are you driving at?
It’s up for ya, enjoy! *hic*
Yay! Since the F.Blog is acting up again (for me apparently) I’ll go check that out. I think my step-father might be interested in a dessert like that.
It’s not just you, Avis. I’m going to go check out that recipe, too.
NEVER. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.
That’s all there is to it.
Great, the reply thing is broken again…
Looks like the whole space/time continuum is busted too.
My previous comment was in reply to “here4tehlulz” somewhere up there…
sprinkles in my wrinkles causes the growth
of periwinkles.
Laughing about that video is kinda poor haha…
it’s like laughing about a small child that trips and falls on its face or something…
Who ordered another fish?
*raises hand*
It’s lunch time! I’m hungry!
I guess it’s OK to nom the new generic fish…
Ummm…
On second thought, is it NOT ok to nom the new fish, or any fish for that matter! Failpeeps are not noms!
There you go, everyone, the fish head has spoken!
(That didn’t come out right, did it?)
Fine. Be that way.
*puts away fork and knife*
But just for the record, I wasn’t gonna eat Fluffy.
Fish are friends…
Eeek! A mouse! *gets the broom*
*steps in front of broom*
Mr. Whiskers is a friendly mouse. No whackie!!
…But let’s get the pump ready just in case. It has already been a Deflater Mouse once already.
Der is a maus in da Strauss!
Don’t use the Chinese pump they used on Santa!!
Eh, Die Fledermaus isn’t really much a a superhero anyway.
Could you switch that to Walmart pump? Thanks.
I Fafhrd that you like the Grey Mouser better!
I like him much better. Still, to keep him from being worn out maybe we should get a Nehwon.
Sheelba able to conjure one up.
I KNEW you’d know the reference!!
…Leiber that or you’d at least heard of it.
Hmmm… I think my pun machine is on the Fritz.
Mmmmmm Sushi.
Would that be a little…odd…for you to eat fish?
It’s hard to get a good steak in the ocean.
*snork*
Been there, done that…
Eat mor chikn’.
Doesn’t apply to butter cows…nothin’ in the handbook says we can’t nom our beefy cousins. Now, if you had said a BUTTERburger…then we’d have a problem.
How about Butterfingers? Are they ok?
ET Butterfingers??that’s new…
I guess so…since I don’t have fingers, I’m not bothered by it. Hooves don’t sound very appetizing…much like pig’s feet…
Beg pardon?
In my experience, starfish like to eat clams and urchins. So yes, a starfish eating fish would be a bit odd.
Endless fishes… Where are the loaves? Somebody cue the loaves.
You should loave this one alone.
….why is that a bad thing?
Maybe this is a suicide attempt success deferment.
Or maybe one of those people who asphyxiates themselves for kinks. I mean kicks.
Both work.
He he. Hiya Avis! *waves*
Hiya!! How was your Thanksgiving? Did I miss anything on the f.blog?
No Thanksgiving for me – I’m in Madrid with Lou. Did you see that we met up with Egg?
No, but very cool! Didja have fun? What did you guys do? Wait… do I want to know?
The pics are on myspace. Just dinner and drinks. This time.
*cough*this time*cough*
DrB has a much safer way of conducting auto erotic asphyxiation.
Details, please.
I’m not sure I want to know what those methods might be!
Talking about auto erotic asphyxiation always gets me all choked up.
It certainly wasn’t painless.
And also didn’t bring on many changes.
Waldowski, is that you?
MASH up get'm'upShe may change her mind about trying that again.
If only we could lure Denise Austin to the same swing (after hearing on a potato commercial for the 5th time in the last two hours).
She has an exercise video that involves a potato? I might pay to see that.
No it’s a home improvement video that involves the potato. I never knew she was Catholic.
That woman frightens me. Her eyes look… wrong somehow.
She drives me crazy and I want to beat her senseless…not that I am a violent person.
Oh no, not you! You wouldn’t hurt a — OW!
*folds Avis into protective embrase*
Ry, we don’t bash our fellow peeps. Well, we do, but not violently. Go to the naughty corner please.
*hugs Ry so she knows she is still loved*
Pfft I own the naughty corner. I put up curtains, a nice throw rug and some mood lighting.
Oh, that was you? Well, thanks. My time in the naughty corner was quite comfortable.
Yeah, and while she was hanging curtains, the vicar stopped by to help her and nothing has ever been the same since.
Is that the one where she repeatedly tells us that she’s a ho while speaking suggestively about the potatoes?
FIIIIRRRSTTTT!!!
You accidenty your whole name.
Careful, he’ll get pissed off.
Better than being pissed ON.
Depends on what you’re into, I suppose.
Or here either!
*squeeze*
How was your Thanksgiving?
*is reasonably sure you celebrated it in some way*
*squeeze*
It was pretty good, and not too hectic, thankfully. My mom worked Thanksgiving this year, so we went to the in-laws Thursday and then to my mom’s Friday for twice the overeating. Then my in-laws already had us over last night for the traditional pot-pie with the leftovers.
*is still stuffed*
Oh, and how was yours?
Sounds tasty! I will have details posted about mine in a few hours or so. It was… interesting.
No leftovers for me though. My stepfather is currently eating the last of the sweet potatoes. And I’m reasonably sure he ate the rest of the pumpkin cheesecake. Which, by the way, was FANTASTIC!!!
Thanks to Ry, for the fabulous recipe!!
No leftovers?!?! That’s slightly depressing. I have so much food in my fridge! I actually had to throw out birthday cake so it wouldn’t sit in the house forever and not get eaten. And I need to make another one this weekend! Those birthdays are too darn close together.
I don’t mind not having leftovers, I rarely eat them anyway. I only wanted to bring back the cookware I used in any case.
We went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving and didn’t bring back any leftovers, so I’m making my own turkey on Wednesday (my day off). Plenty of leftovers!
*makes note in calendar*
Wednesday, huh? I think I can manage 3 turkey din dins.
Any suggestions for sides? My daughter wants the classic green bean casserole, which I find boring, but hey, she’s the princess…
Might do some variation of pumpkin black bean soup.
Sweet potato casserole with pecans, coconut and brown sugar. YUM! Almost as good as re-fried penii.
I wish I had a creative side to suggest, but we usually do the classics like potatoes and yams etc. I did a yummy spinach salad with poppyseed dressing, but that’s as creative as we get.
Cranberry Jello with whole berries, walnuts, grapes and pineapple. Nummers!
My favorite part of Thanksgiving was the turkey open-faced sammiches the next day. Toasted Italian bread spread with heated leftover mashed potatoes, turkey and gravy, and then with some of my Cabernet cranberry sauce spooned over it.
YUMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I’m having my cranberry sauce over homemade vanilla ice cream this evening.
Glad it came out well. I sometimes make a Kahlua whipped cream and garnish it with it. It is just lovely.
buba® does not understand.
the sad thing is ive done this except as i was going backwards. the feeling didnt return to my knee for 6 months
I got great air and launched when I was bout 11 and still have scars on my knees. Who puts a parking lot that close to a swingset?
Nice cover story for those knee scars, Ry!
*innocent eyelash batting*
Total nesting fail. This belongs ^^
ouch… poor human kind
ITS A TRAP
Rules one and two, gtf back where you came from with your old memes.
Get down wit y0 bad self!
for rizzle.
♫ You know the rules and so do I ♪
It’s a trawling net.
I’m pretty sure she was caught by a hoodie string…
It’s dangerous in the hood y0.
Word, Rydog.
It’s awfully long for a hoodie string. You can actually see it streaming out behind her just as she starts to jump off. It’s at least 6-8 feet. Too thin to be a scarf, decidedly too long and thin to be hair. Would a surfboard tether be around her neck like that? I thought they were attached to an ankle.
Nope, scarf
Did she die?
Probably. But in the original video she show the burn marks around her neck so she probably resurrected.
Catch and release, laddy. Catch and release.
Nice dismount, but that landing is going to cost her points.
The Romanian judge thought it was a nice added flair and gave her a 10.
I smell a bribe.
Strangely, the Russian judge was in agreement.
Methinks you are russian to judgment.
That wasn’t a bribe. MRN is having stomach issues.
*makes note in fart joke log*
We keep one of those now, too?
I had one for a while since there was an, um, influx for a week or so way back when. But then I got bored or forgot or something.
I knew something rotten was going on.
Can’t help it, I’m in between turkeys.
I did that once,
and i broke my arm.
That’s a terrible haiku.
dilettante replied,
“That’s a terrible haiku.”
I’d have to agree.
Only on Failblog
The meta-haiku appears
To the third level.
Hey, did you guys hear,
That new EU President
Likes to write haiku,
Herman van Rompuy
used to be a head of state
now he’s Europe’s boss.
Herman van Rompuy
is a wonderful name for
a pet guinea pig.
Who might be good as
the new EU President?
My pet guinea pig?
Yes, likely taller
Than Nicolas Sarkozy
And has better hair
There once was a girl from Nantucket…
I’m just sayin’
Isn’t this at least a month old already? Shouldn’t a site like FailBlog get to know about it alot faster?
Well, if you’d gotten off your lazy keister and voted for it, it might have gotten to the front page sooner. Now go get voting, slacker!
Lol, I haven’t heard “keister” in a while. Keister keister keister!
Why do I hear that word in Krusty the Clown’s voice?
# I want to go to Mt. Splashmore,
Take me, take me, take me, take me now!
Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! #
Well, dang…I made a pretty funny “Keister Sutherland” joke about a month back. Sorry you missed it. :p
Ok, that is pretty good. I like him and his bum quite a bit. Now where was I a month ago…hmm…I feel like baguettes were involved… :p
You and your bun fetish. :p
Nutella and Speedos, Europe at its best.
Now that’s what I call a chain reaction
BA-dum tish!
*cough*
*crickets*
instantcrickets.com/
shes f-ing dead
I can’t see what got caught? sweater?
Think it’s her necklace or blouse or something… something around her neck. Because in the original video she is showing the burn mark around her neck, but it’s cut off here.
It’s a scarf
Realy its to thin I think shes trieing to hang herself with a steel cable.
Thin scarves are in! Like skinny ties!
Child got caught.
"to catch a cold"*washes Hansen with purell*
Have a sneeze right over there.
I got your back achoo,babyconsenting adult.*washes dilly's back with purely prurient purell intentions**purrs*
Am I the only one being creeped out by the black-and-white picture of some scary face in the HUGE CYBER MONDAY SALE!!! advert, below the Squishables one? It sends shivers up my spine when that face appears. Just like when Hershey guy did.
I see what you mean, the one with the blue eyes. Looking off like a zombo.
It’s supposed to be the “I like turtles” zombie kid of youtube fame, methinks.
Isn’t this old as hell? And also the end is cut off which imo is the best when you see the mark it left (the necklace or blouse?)
Whoa! I snagged a live one!
Too small, let it go duude.
You’re right. You’re right.
Swim free, lass! Swim free!
By the way, what’s with the extra u?
That was the hook.
The dude hook? Maybe we could catch Lebowski with it.
are the people commenting here real humans or bots because nobody seems to be talking about anything, its just 99% troll material…
We were all human at one point but were ultimately assimilated. Run now and never come back while you can still get away.
*eyes glow red*
*lurches forward, arms outstretched*
You. Will. Join. Us. Join. Us. Join Us. Join Us…
One of us. One of us. One of us.
Oh the humanity… it’s lost, I tell ya. Lost, lost, lost!!!
Or not.
It’s the beginning of the end.
Premiers February 2, 2010 on ABC.
010011100110111100100000011010010110010001100101011000010010000001110111011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010011101110010011001010010000001110100011000010110110001101011011010010110111001100111001000000110000101100010011011110111010101110100
*the internet implo-*
011100100111010101101110
01100010011011110111010001110011
011100100111010101101110!
I don’t know about you, but I’m a bot!
Wait…
a bot to what?
get your sparkly bat?
Trawl material?
Yes.
We have lumps of it round the back.
More than half the comments are made up by the other half.
Or something.
’tis time to imbibe lunch. Teriyaki salmon and rice pilaf for me. Any of you old salts have a tasty meal?
Kraft dinner and squirrel.
eewwwww… tree rats are evil.
Three of them RAN INTO MY LIVING ROOM on Saturday. I had to chase them out and disinfect my kitchen and couch. They were clinging to the blinds and squeaking while my friend squealed “SQUIRRELS! SQUIRRELS!! like a little girl, although he’s a 30-year old guy. I had to yell at them and point at the door. Don’t put toasted nuts on a windowsill to cool, kids.
And close your quotes, dammit.
Loved your story dilettante. Chestnut? or horse chestnuts ?
Pecans and yarn.
You toast your yarn?
How else can I roast the kittens?
I can haz cheez kitten?
*admires Dilly’s persuasive powers*
Thanks, Aja! Everyone else, admire it harder, dammit!!
SQUIRRELS!! like a little girl ... and so do IHave a seat right over th… oh sh!t
SQUIRRELS!!
Dilly, can you come over here and herd my cats for me??
Yes!! I need a spoon and a screaming man.
HAH! I knew it!! You like your men like you like your coffee!
…With a spoon.
Hot and strong, baby.
Not bitter and in his cups?
Colombian and full of half-and-half?
Wet and steamy?
Rich and full of caffeine?
Bingo, that’s the one.
Bingo is his name-o?
If he’s finely ground too, French-press me and call me Mrs. Bingo.
Somehow “spooning” meant something entirely different to me.
Squirrels are great. For years we had one that would wander into the house, sit on your lap or the couch and watch TV. She also beat up on the neighborhood cats.
I had thought idly of making friends with these guys, one was on my balcony in the morning when I had coffee and hung out for a minute, so I thought, “Maybe in a few months they’ll take some peanuts from a foot away or something.” No, six hours later they were running all over my house. I felt so violated.
You were expecting shy, Bambi like, creatures of the forest glen? They are more like Taz.
I was expecting that! The dirty streets of Philadelphia have clearly corrupted these rodents. I should’ve known when I watched one eat a huge onion ring last weekend. He probably bought it at a drive-thru.
“and she is going to stick the lan… ohhhh.. that’s gonna hurt.”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA who replied to a moderated comment??!!!
Probably the person who sent it.
Omg. Did he died?
She did not die.
Why exactly is an obese-looking person on a child’s swing set, anyways?
LOL obese looking, have a look at the original video and the after effect, you’ll change your mind about her.
Why is this lady on a swing, anyway?
head off
Sucker!!!
Second video repost in a week, nice laziness
i call fake… if you look closely, you can see a third chain dragging on the bottom, and the other chain is still there.
look before you leap
This has to be the third time this video has been on the front.
Need new fail/win vids… seen this one already =/
This isn’t exactly funny…
there is an GIF that shows the after effect for this…
[img]http://83.216.4.169/albumit/m00/673121340.gif[/img]
or http://83.216.4.169/albumit/m00/673121340.gif
what pulled him/her back?
FATALITY!! Scorpion wins!
One of the swing chains actually broke apart. Perhaps some playground official (not the swinging lady) failed to fix up the swing chain properly or the chain had rusted so much that it actually became weak and brittle.
Its her scarf
vertical hanging?
Ouch that must have hurt!
But very funny!!!
ummmmmmmmmmm…the only way to hang is vertically
We’re done when I say we’re done!
C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKAA!!
bet this is the new game for emo’s
OW. That’s gotta hurt.
See the original on YouTube – it’s her scarf that gets caught & the original video shows the nasty mark it left on her neck.
must have died later…
in soviet russia, swingset swings you
See there? That’s why I always swing naked.
I dont think it was a scarf. It looks like the string to the Hood of her Hoodie.
Which is exactly why little kids’ hoodies dont (or shouldnt) have strings to pull the hoods closed. I remember a few years back hearing rumors of kids dying this way.
It’s like power-suicide. “I don’t want to live anymore, but i want my death to be action-packed and hilarious”
GOLLUM GOLLUM