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Inflatable Santas are really hot this year.
All those presents were burning a hole in his toy sack.
This sparks a warm feeling in my heart.
Satan Claus is coming to town.
It’s gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight.
Must be black Friday.
You get smokin’ deals on Cyber Monday.
*Fires up E-bay*
*scrambles some neweggs*
That’s EVIL SANTA, from the pits of hell…
nothing out of the ordinary here
Party already? Santa’s on fire tonight!
He is gonna set his shoes on fire if he keeps dancing…
I say someone should get fired for that.
If you ash me, I agree.
You think someone is going to be charred with arson?
Sure! Fan the flames of discontent.
He should have rem-ember-ed to put out his cigar.
*smolders*
Put on your Christmas soot.
Don’t forget your pieces of flair.
That candle flair was a real flare….
Next time we’ll leave off the blazer and go with a nice sweater.
How about a smoking jacket?
Only if it has sparkly lapels.
And comes with a brandy snifter….
you guys! stop flaming santa!
he should stop breaking in through the cheminee
Oh NO!!! Santa’s burning! haha .. it’s disturbing but ti kind of reminds me of Ghostbusters when the StayPuffed Marshmallow Man was on fire
The kiddies must have been so sad to see this…
Santa must have crossed the streams.
Not nearly as sad as they are when they click on your clickie.
Yes, sauer, it’s unfortunate that Naked Sara seems to feel it necessary to spam our blog from time to time.
Clickies are evil!
That was the first thing of which I thought, as well (the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, I mean).
“I’m sorry Santa; you’re fired.”
This year , It’s Zombie Santa.
In hounor of all the zombie who will die in L4D2 this winter.
Forget Edward and Jacob. It’s SANTA.
It mustve been all the coal he had waiting to give out this year.
Or friction. His suit is made from velvet after all and those thighs are going to be touching every time he walks.
That’s just shocking.
Sparked your interest, didn’t I?
That’s quite the charge.
Have you seen the family joules? I can’t find them anywhere.
Try checking the hot pants.
Ex-zap-ly what I was thinking.
Your reVOLTing!
Well that was an Ample insult.
So negative!!
Watt? I don’t think he meant for it to be a bad thing.
I am just being grumpy Faraday, sorry.
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
coulombs sailed the ocean blue.
Ohm My God! Seriously?
I am fermi in my stance on this matter.
Why would you need the capacitor to change
Did they ever find a curie for your infection?
Franklin, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Shouldn’t it be Franklin, my dear, I don’t give a hooray??
*squeeze*
Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m listening to my Tesla records.
Hey, it’s almost lunchtime and I cannot find the marcononi to go with the cheese.
OhmMG – this run is too much to resist.
Uh, Dragon…I’m sorry, but I really have to ask this, but….uh…..are you responsible for this?
Judy! Do you really think Dragon would FOOM! Santa? That would put her on the naughty list for life!
Her smoldering action with AA has had her on the naughty list for a long time.
That’s still no reason to FOOM! Santa. He’s not a troll.
*pouts*
But Dragon is hot. Santa shoulda kept his hands to hisself.
Santa was probably delivering these:
fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2726&e=dragon
I saw these the other day packaged in bundles…there was one bundled with a ship.
Ahhh Christmas toys, how I miss those days. I knew my son was too old when he burned down the Christmas tree after opening his Tickle Hands Elmo gloves. He is stationed in Germany, I thought they would keep him warm.
Ooh, do you think it’s too late for me to ask Santa for one of each? They’re for my kids, of course.
*crosses fingers behind back*
Hee! Hee!
Fires up the !magination.
This one wasnt inflatable, it was actually a giant, robotic santa claus attacking the city of Tokyo. See that ladder by the tree on the left, covered in blood? Robo-Santa had just crushed a man puttin the angel on the christmas tree when the photo was taken. It was in the news a few weeks back – clickie for a pic to prove it.
This is just a screenshot sneak peek of Lost season 6.
first
First – FAIL
That’s kind of a tautology.
Yes. Yes, you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.
LBG, so dependable.
First actual “fail in communication”
Looks like corporate sabotage. Poor Macy’s. I guess Wal-Mart just can’t cope with not having a parade too.
Wal-Mart: At Least Our Santa’s Don’t Blow Up!
That’s what happens when you use a chinese-made air pump.
on the pea ness? before frying?
If at first you do not succeed, fry, fry again.
If I still don’t succeed, I cry cry again…
8th
42th
A faulty tooth?
You should see a dentist.
It’s a miracle!
They call me Heat Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to burn in my clutch–
I’m too much!
they call me ignorebutton(tm)
whatever i touch
gets ignored in my clutch
I’m too much!
I guess they opened the box labeled Jingle Bombs thinking they were the Jingle Bells.
Harry the mad bomber?
No, Anna the nicole bomber.
Burning man, is starting a little early this year.
Have you been looking on Wikerpedia there?
Looked at my what!?!
*inserts data*
Don’t you just love user input.
*opens several ports*
I’m going to need your references.
Do you have updated drivers?
You want to date my driver?
Sounds kinky.
Eh, I think Jules may have seen the latest episode of American Dad. At least that’s the only way I had a clue about “burning man”.
*dissapears to small pagan island to giggle*
Actually, I found out about burning man some years ago, through an article in a sierra club magazine.
please come, say how do,
The things I’ll show to you.
Incidentally, Nicolas Cage should be burnt.
*squeeze*
Much prefer the original!
I prefer the Sneaker Pimps version of the song though.
*squeeze*
*spin, spins, sugar*
Cage acts like he’s been smoking too many blunts.
… Or maybe since it’s been going on annually for about 20 years…
But obviously no-one has seen the wicker man….sooooo I am off to hide my shame again.
No, it was excellent! Never apologize for an obscure yet witty pun! Those are the best!
I’ve seen Iron Maiden perform “The Wicker Man”, does that count?
Yes.
WooHoo!!
Ahh, Santa flambéd with warm Brandy. How festive.
It’s the wicker clause bringing you Christmas with some gual.
Ok… the ACLU has finally taken this anti-Christmas stuff one step too far….
…next, they’ll be burning books about Santa!
Perhaps they can find the goodness in their hearts and burn Sarah Palin’s, too.
Oh the humanity!
Ho, ho, oh the humanity!
This isn’t Santa Claus. It’s the devil. He’s going to eat christmas this year.
Hail satin?
Hail silk.
I worship chenille.
Is she still singing with the Captain?
♪ Love will keep us togetha ♫
a muskrat making love at xmas??
O_O il ignore that
It is Satan’s Claws…
Is it just me, or is that foot HUGE?
That’s his foot!?
Is he doing yoga?
Well, you know what they say about the size of a man’s foot…
How did you know I am a foot?
*long-time-no-see-squeeze*
*squeeeze!* I tend to drop off the planet from time to time. It’s good to be back.
*squeezywiki*
Nice to see you again!
Big feet, big shoes!
Div.
Your comment is Dangling In a Void?
*divsqueeze*
Displacement Is Verified.
The comment is in the wrong place.
*squeezesthewrongperson*
Don’t worry, your Declaration Is Vague.
*feelsyouandyou’reallright*
*points*
Dis Is Vagaina!
*points*
Dat Is Venereal!
The foot thing is a TOTAL myth. You need to make a right angle with the left index finger and the nose. Then, solve for the hypotenuse and you’ve got your magic measurement.
Shall we go on a tangent here?
Pi?
Mmmm. Pie.
*drops jaw to obtuse angle in order to shovel in pie*
You should try to pull out a plum with your trigger finger.
Hey, you’re welcome to borrow the E.T. finger.
*cooks more pie over log fire*
*lays another log and flushes*
That’s irrational and absurd!
Brb, I am headed back to the previous fail. I think my refried penii are burning.
Flush when yer done, okay? (yes, I know… not a cogent comment.)
So if any woman tries to stick my index finger up my nose I know she’s interested and I can save time and just show her the real thing?
Yes, MRN remove the fake finger and show her the real one.
But I’m compensating for the plastic surgery I had to make my nose smaller.
Good way to ruin a nose-job, I’d say.
no, no, no… never show her the ET finger.
If I laugh, does it mean I have no soul?
No. But if you are posting on this site, THAT means that you have no soul. Welcome to hell.
MWAHAHAHAH!
Thanks, WIK. That added just the right atmosphere. *rattles chains*
*chews brimstone* I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Didn’t you know? This is how we celebrate Christmas in hell…apparently Santa got too close to the yule log…
Wait — Christmas equals hell, doesn’t it?
*poke*
*tickle*
*tickle*
*giggle*
*squeezyMsBeezy*
Was your Turkey Day good?
It was fabulous. Ate waaaaaaay too much, and now my brain is too fried to try and think enough to work today.
How was yours?
It was good! And, it was nice to have the few days before at home to prepare for it. I’m sure I gained at least 15 lbs., but it was worth it.
But, I’ve come back to so much work, I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to play on FB too much in the coming couple of months.
Awww, couple of months? And it looks like you never ironed out the problems with the other FB.
Well, after I finish reading Corelli’s Mandolin I’m going to pick up a copy of The Three Musketeers, which I don’t believe I’ve ever read (Hard to remember when you know the story from other sources). Maybe we can e-exchange the books and you can let me know what you think of Louis de Bernières’ writing.
Say it ain’t so!
*squeezesanddoesn’tletgo*
yes.
*snork*
seems like santa smoked 2 much x-mas trees
This Santa Claus is in Balneário Camboriú City – Brazil, the same city that Giseli Bundchen has an apartment
This is like reading all the way to the bottom of a Wikipedia entry.
Is there a ring in the bottom that will turn your finger green before it gets infected and rots off? Or better, a temporary tattoo that will give you ink poisoning?
Oooh! Oooh! Let it be stickers!
Puffy ones!
The ones that you forget to take off of your clothes before washing them, then you’re stuck with sticky goo on your shirt.
I had that same problem with a dress but it had nothing to do with stickers.
Monica!?!
…look at the name genius… *facepalm* I have to go refill my coffee now.
I did not have seckzual relations with that WIK.
*hides cigar* Look no hands!!
*puts WIK on invite list to chirstmas party*
I want to see what you can do with a yule log.
First, I was to laugh but it looks more like someone started a fire by purpose …
Only accidental fires are funny?
Start a fire it looks like you did.
Hmm. They say santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls are….wait what the… this list is alphabetical, but Ryannon is still at the top of the naughty list?!?
This Santa´s was locate in Bal. Camboriu state of Santa Catarina in Brazil… It´s a hot xmas…
You mean the same city that Giseli Bundchen has an apartment? That’s an incredible coincidence, isn’t it?
*snork*
Finally, the Jolly Red Roof Lurker got what he deserved..
HoHoHo!
*city burns*
Mwha mwha mwha
This might look like santa, but it´s actually the bastard child of santa and a balrog.
♪ Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we’ve no place to go,
Let It Burn! Let It Burn! Let It Burn! ♫
♫ We don’t need no water
let the Santa F*cker burn.
Burn Santa Burn! ♫
I am the god of hell fire and I bring you…Santa?
Would you like any elf with that sir?
White or dark meat?
Dark side meat, please!
Santa’s sleigh, not Santa slay!
Now who’s going to come down the chimney?
Though Mrs Claus is Santa’s lay, I doubt she’ll make him come down her chimney.
A few years ago, a burglar tried to drop through the neighbors house across the street…He made the front page….a little OT but it was hilarious at the time….
ooops- clarify–tried to drop through the chimney…He was dubbed the Santa Clause bandit
Crappy Disney movies affect everyone in different ways, I suppose.
Would you like to do the honors, Marius?
Is that is a loaded question?
*hic*
*¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ *Staggering* ¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°º¤ø*
*waves back*
I thought the last line was
Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow
I must have been mishearing it all these years.
I worked with a guy from Italy with a heavy accent. He was sure the song went something like this:
Sweet Jesus Maitre’D
Who wants to sit in section C
If Annie Lennox were dead, she would roll over in her Eurythmic grave
I used to run around singing ‘Sweet dreams are made of cheese.’
We created a whole song with restaurant lyrics and would sing it when he was around.
We’ve had this conversation before, I am sure we have.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/01/23/winter-driving-fail/#comment-254964
Deja VROOMMMMMMMMMMMM
Pass those along if you remember them!
Some of them are at the link Moomies pasted.
So, sweet dreams aren’t made of cheese?
*pouts*
Who am I to disagree?
Travelled the world with a pack of peas.
Everybody’s looking for dumplings.
Some of them want to yule you, some of them want to get yuled by you.
Dang, all this time I thought everybody was looking for pumkins….
Some of them want to stew you.
*facepalm* refresh!
Almost as bad as
Vertigo- by U2
My Husband is convinced the line is
“I’m at a place called Birmingham.”
My friend Michelle thinks that the song Venus by Bananarama goes, “I am your fetus. I am your fire…”
I do not!
*squeezieSuperGracie*
Mistya!
Shocking, Blue!
Ack! Thanks K@, thats much better.
*needs more caffeine*
Balrog Santa lays waste to all.
BS to his reindeer:
Fly, you fools!
Did someone ask Santa for a Kindle?
Dagnabbit! That just burns me up!
With a little Jack London on it.
Yukon say that again.
Hello Dilettante!!!
I see your pearly white fangs are showing again.
Hullo, Marius! They are indeed, call me wild.
You certainly know how to play the game.
*snark*
That was classic!
I’m glad you caught my drift. I was afraid you might think me an abysmal brute.
But I like brutes! Heathens are sexy, too.
You dazzler you. Be careful with this adventure, right now I’m a very sick white man.
Poor baby, a touch of the scarlet plague?
My love of life got the better of me.
You know why Sanya has such a big bag? Because he only comes once a year…
Santa… sorry!
Don’t apologize to Santa, you weren’t being saqreligious. He and Mrs. Clause are very well aware of how full his saq is.
LOL. So where did this happen. Anyone know? I’d love to see the reaction on little kids’ faces who happen to see Santa up in flames.
That’s right, German fat man. Burn. BURN!
So much anger. Were you the guy on the plane in a few fails past? They would have moved you if you had just asked.
*Sob* I told them it had to be a window seat! I told them!!!
Santa’s German?
Who else would be named Clause?
cool
No, bb, I think he’s quite hot.
Smokin’.
It’s like a hindensanta!!
Oh, the sanctity!
Amazeng how no one hear knows how to spill words in there coments.
*cries*
Mommy, that man killed Santa Claus!
*sniffle*
Where the devil is the 10:00 fail?!?
Swing over to the next link.
NOOOOOOO! Now I will never get that napalm I wished for! *crying*
♪ ♪ I saw mommy torching Santa Claus… ♪ ♪
lmao
Ho-ho-NO!!!
Twas actually a public safety announcement in Santa Catarina, Brazil.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/be_safe_this_holiday_season_el.php
(Actually, I am a loyal GW fan, and had to post his site! =P)
All will bow down to SATAN CLAUS!!
MU-HAHAHAHAHA!
O_O_O_O_O
esse papai noel é da minha cidade de balneario camboriu, Santa catarina BRASIL eu vi pegar fogo
I always knew Santa was a closet flamer! He always wants to give “gifts” to boys and girls!
Wow! That’s Santa Claus is from my city! Well.. was… anyway, I see it burning in flames! o.o
The latest casualty the war on Christmas.
Hindensanta?
Thats on my city here on Brazil, im so proud *.* jajajajaja
The Santa ate my baby! The Santa ate my baby!
it’s like burning man… but with santa…
Is Santa giving birth to a snowman at the worst possible time?
Deep in the pits of Hell, Scrooge laughs his head off
BOW BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY SANTA!
I think the burning man festival has gone a little too far now…. that or it’s now being hosted in the winter time.
I take it the Hindensanta also had troubles trying to land in the US…
this is in Brazil!! Balneário Camboriú, Santa Catarina
Clearly it hadn’t been checked by Elfan Safety
This looks like a WIN to me!!
Well, Junior, it’s time for you to know the truth about santa….
ummm…doesn’t Santa check the chimney before he goes down?
SANTAAAA! NO!
Oh! This is in Brazil, people here like your blog!
someone hates santa..
This happened at Balneario Camboriú, heres the video of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg-_PVKPvGQ&feature=player_embedded
This reminds me’o Burnin Man
what a devastating tragedy for this up coming holiday
I think Santa is just little burned out !
hey santa Got A lite ?
ouch that realy hurt’s I know I played santa in school play and I spent a week in alta Bates burn center !!!!
looks like Fireman from Megaman XD
Must have been done by an anti-christmas arsonist….
Lookit that smoke! Was Santa made out of tires?
burn, BURN! ha ha ha!
Santa decided to recreate the Hindenburg disaster this year, as a gift to the picky history buffs.
This is precisely why you’re supposed to put the fire out in your fireplace on Christmas Eve. I’ve been warning people of this for years. Now look what has happened. Santa Claus has died in a fire. Great.
Jeremy Gadd says:
December 2, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Must have been done by an anti-christmas arsonist….
uhhhh a jew o.o?
“Billie Jean is EVERYWHERE!!”
/Random80sMovieReference’d
This was (probably) caused by some idiot dropping a lit cigarette out the window of that building in the background!
OH, THE HUMANITY!
LOOOOOOOOOOL! This is from my city! Balneário Camboriú – Brazil! hahahahaha
burning man Christmas edition
Hehehe. Some poor dyslexic sent a letter to SATAN Claus and look what happens…
I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor.
You cannot pass; the dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn.
Go back to the Shadow! YOU CANNOT PASS!
Charmander used Ember!
IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!
That’s why you need to check if the fireplace is off before you go down the chimney
i wish i could have thought of that, darn
Damn Jews burned Santa with a Candelabra.