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We’re gonna need a bigger tree!
No, that’s not right. That would imply the line was originally ‘we’re gonna need a bigger sea’, which is ridiculous.
Scrap that.
We’re gonna need a bigger ropeswing!
Because obviously, people use ropeswings to hunt koalas.
I’ll get me coat.
Koala coat? Evil Evil Evil!!!
Chinchilla is evil-er!
We're gonna need a bigger coat hanger ...NO WIRE COAT HANGERS!
That’s quite the cuddly Koala haha
Yes, Ryannon dearest.
I knew I could depend on you
of course not wire coat hangers, theyre hunting not aborting!
Can I climb said ropeswing and harpoon this type of koala?
sounds a bit sexual
sounds a bisexual?
koala harpoon? is that near the capital of Malaysia?Yes, yes it is.
Yes, yes it is. I like it with teeth.
*chomping at the bits*
with granny teeth are an optional extra
adventures with dentures(but does using false teeth still count as "natural wildlife"?)
We all have to make exceptions.
To rules such as “never get gum adhesive in proximity to pubic hair”? I don’t think so!
it really depends on what you are trying to get your teeth to adhere to
Granny adheres to the players oral traditions.
as long as they are Francis Dolarhyde’s granny’s teeth
the real fail here is that neither the shark or the koala would be in its natural habitat.
wait, thats not a koala??
such a wasted life i have been leading…
You have to look inside the shark to see the Koala. It’s like those nesting dolls but animals.
Are you like an international organization jointly known as Ry-Anon Family Groups with a membership of over half a million men, women and teens, providing a twelve-step program of recovery for friends and family members of ry-aholics?Just men. So many men, so little time.
I admit that I am powerless over Ry.If the men I date would come to the conclusion so quickly my life would be much easier and theirs would be much less painful.
Start introducing yourself as Ry, the All Powerful.
or be the Catcher in the Ry.
To me she’ll always be Ry, Queen of Smut.
*puts in the key and starts up the bus*
It’s a metaphor. We must look in the sharks of the human spirit to find the eucalyptus addicted koala in all of us.
Then when the axe man comes to open the koala, Granny pops out.
…and then another koala pops out of me hairy axe wound (sorry)
I am mildly disturbed yet frighteningly intrigued at the same time.
Can’t just turn away, can you?
♪♫
Koala-pop koala-pop
Oh koala koala koala
Koala-pop koala-pop
Call my baby koala-pop
♪♫
Pop! Badum dum
dum-dum
dum-dum
DUM-DUM
♫All around the mulberry bush, the koala chase the sha-ark♪
But how did the Koala get in the shark? Landshark!
Koala could have been hunted by an eagle that could have dropped the koala while flying over the sea.
Weight of koala caused eagle to fly low, within range of full-length-breaching shark.
Where is the eagle then?
the shark ate the koala, cut it out and save it!
Operation!
i wonder what’s gonna be inside the koala @_@
after that it's myrtles all the way downshould be eucalyptus
i just wonder how koalas taste…
smoked turkey legs.
Taste like ham!
OMG! Fluffy the fish ate the poor furry marsupial.
And we though Fluffy was so nice and sweet.
HEY! I AM frickin nice and fricken sweet!
Plus, I don’t eat koalas. Too many hairballs.
Hey, young fishie! Fricken is not a nice f@cking word! And I’m guessing you tried koala before…
Ok let’s not be so picky, nobody said a biology degree was needed for that quality control job.
What are you talking about? I didn’t say that a degree was needed.
Why is nobody talking about me?Must you always gossip?
There’s nothing better to do.
We Europeans have gotta do something to pass the time whilst everyone else is gobbling down turkey.
Yeah TURKEY!!! Pass the stuffing!
Stuff the passing by.
Why would you stuff me just for passing by?
Because I fancy you a little bit.
Really? Did I tell you that?
cause i heard she had a thing for You…
But You wasn’t interested, and i don’t blame Her, she wanted a bit of Me, who preferred I, anyway. In the end i think we should all run off together.
How the hell did I end up here?
Got the night bus I think.
*cough*smutbus*cough*
It’s the only bus that isn’t afraid of this neighborhood.
Was the U.S. thing too subtle?
I don’t think the U.S. is ever too subtle.
No YOU said it was needed, I did not – it all amounts to the same ting though…
I needs YOU, sometimes.Really I, need me? That’s great! And I said it was needed, not me.
Not need to need me when I am needed, so I’m not needed.
How are about wanted
*steals “are” from self*
STOP! THIEF!
Hey! That’s mine!
*runs faster to bunny hole*
Like we didn’t get enough of bunny holes a couple of fails ago.
Can we ever get too many bunnyholes? Glory glory to the bunnyhole.
Me?
Refresh refresh… *facepalm*
*beats the crap out of Olur in an effort to help*
Sometimes it takes more than a facepalm.
Headdesk?
PressEsc?
Ok, Failpeeps, help Olur and beat ‘em down. It’s out of love.
I got my beat in early. It’s Black Friday, gotta start early if you wanna get the best beatings.
Feel like I got mauled by a koala…
…or snuggled by a shark.
Funny, that’s what most men say when I am done. I am all cute and cuddly until they try to pick me up.
And if he likes it like that, do you keep him?
No, I believe in catch and release. Let them chase you til you catch them and then throw them back. We have to keep the gene pool well stocked and if I keep them, we run out of donors.
But then you could start a business. Again, the “Ry, the All Powerful” thing. You’re missing out.
Bloody drop bears mate, yeah.
They drop out the tree and clay your eyes right out of your skull mate and all you bloody hear is da dum da dum dadum dadum
*claw
As long as you don’t panic, it’s fine. Nobody wants to hear you screaming.
remember to carry a knife to stab the closest fat person and create a diversion
Those damned bears can sniff blood for miles.
don’t let the cute dorsal fin fool you, it WILL eat you!
*runs away screaming*
That isn’t very threatening to a single woman Granny.
heh
have you heard of crocodile eyes? it’s what a woman sees when a man is going down on her and just the eyes are showing above the “surface”
I dont usually see their eyes. My arm and hand full of hair is usually blocking the view.
hahahaha! mmmmmmmm
I like the eyes…
very reassuring I find
Yeah, connect with your food.
Then he must taste saltwater. If he would taste freshwater, it would be alligator eyes.
and if its a dude it would be elephant eyes
*trumpets*
"Go ahead, strumpet one."*plays a tune on the rusty trombone*
Guess that depends on the woman.
I wonder why it’s salty *pukes*
time to migrate to another plain!
although it could be a good opportunity to try out the clean up on aisle three
If she’s too salty for taste, an injection may help with filtration.
From that movie…Paws?Aye?
Aye, see what you did there.
Paws is just a ripoff of the 70’s classic “Mauls”…
Maulrats, the sequel to Clerks?
Clerks, we need more clerks to help out.
Ehm… McGraw’s? Nah, I got nothing…
Nothing to answer with?
I hear Clark Kent is looking for extra work.
psst ... Aye?! I heard that Black Garnets, the fanged werebunny, developer of amusement park for short people, said she likes you.*hits ghost*
No I didn’t!
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/11/27/species-identification-fail/#comment-692624
Noooo. Ghost likes you. Scroll up.
Yeah, patting Koalas isn’t a good idea either. They bite and scratch. Also, they’re not bears.
*eats a pear*
finds a pearl
*compliments on a necklace*
It looks more like they cut the tag off of the koala and placed it on the shark, ’cause I don’t see any little clear thing or string attaching the two.
bor-ring
*yawn*
*shakes butt while dressed in Loon outfit*
Is this more interesting?
*flings hand above head in lassoing action*
*hollars and whoops uncontrollably*
Catch me, baby, catch me!
♫I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away…♫
♫ Stop the pigeon. Stop the pigeon. ♫
♫Fly like an Eagle♫
♫ Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly away. ♫
♫Flying above the clouds, so beautiful and free♪
I’m still up in the air over this one.
Has it flown right over your head?
Not flying over your head, is it?
now i wonder what does the grizzly bear look like…
A water snake?
And the water snake looks like…
a whale?
and tastes like ham.
… A sharks intestines! Right, you’re saying it’s really a snake that ate the poor koala?
sly beast…
I’m wondering, labeling fail aside, how the F they are attempting to claim that a lopsided shark atop a counter is a beautiful animal in a natural wildlife pose.
It’s meant to be a lesson to children. Life can be harsh. Even the things that you think are cute and cuddly will rip your arm off if you are not careful.
Are you cute and cuddly, Ryannon?
Ah- thread above suggests yes, you are. I shall be keeping an eye on you then. I happen to be rather fond of both my arms.
You can’t tell by my sweet disposition? *laughs maniacally*
One guess at who you are…
*bats eyelashes innocently*
Me?
Hell, we make polar bears look so cute.
They are the most fierce of all bears.
I prefer pandas. They look like rats when they are born but turn into big couch potatoes within a year.
I prefer the rites to bare arms.You have the rites to bear above your fireplace. How can it be possibly misconstrude.
You have the rites to hang bear arms above your fireplace. How can it be possibly misconstrude.
I always thought ears went on the floor…our comment made me think of shreck where heMamabear is on Farquad’s (sp?) bedroom floor.
I prefer the rites to bare bottoms.
I prefer to bite rare bottoms.
I proffer a hairy bottom.
I like to smack bottom.
about lessons to children…
Some time ago in some crappy newspaper I’ve read that mallard ducks prefer homosexual necrophilia.
just a reminiscence I wanted so share.
to*, damn
*scooches away slowly so as not to startle scary person with even scarier trivia*
I hope you didn’t expect me to torture myslef with such traumatic memory.
I had to get it off my chest.
munting?
Wouldn’t that be more like “releasing” or “spewing”.
jumping and pumping like Vanilla Ice
Who never never starts an argument?
Who never shows a bit of temperament?
Who prefers homosexual necrophilia?
Wait a sec that’s not right…
used used to like that kind of thing until this rotten old bum split on me
Good morning all.
*squeezes with koala-sharks*
*squeeze all*
Morning Shadow
Morning!
another reason to never go walking in the outback when menstruating
that pouch is wetter than an otter’s pocket and just as difficult to get your hands on
Is nothing I can use to increase friction?
Well, put that baconlube away for a start. That’s helping nothing.
Plus it waters down the hickory smoke flavor.
a little sand should do the trick
Just a bit, I don’t like where I tend to find sand later. So uncomfortable.
especially when trying to pass the sement after
Gets too sticky. That happened once, and I said “Never again!”
man, you guys have way too much time on your hands to be in here with your “community”, get a life…
And the Scott ran away with the sticky spoon.
*moons*
Back to the topic at hand. So Judy, what are your thoughts on sand?
Guud morning all. The fail is a great white lie.
Do not let this koala fool you. He practices Claw Maga and will bust out of that shark any moment now.
ah the old Israeli army Trojan shark routine *yamn*
and *yawn*
You ever heard about the terrific man eating white koala? xD
I have two pairs of your shoes. While they are beautiful, they are killers to walk in. I think you need to rethink your design ethic.
Fuzzy wuzzy was the koala bear.
Hammmmmmmmmmmm…..mmmmmmmm…..
You must be so lonely.
Aren’t we all? According to the Troll book of definitions.
Failpeep – one is is so lonely and miserable in their sad lives that they have to converse with strangers on a blog.
That’s what I heard someplace anyway…
It’s also a clicky person who shares personal jokes, never talks about the fail, and squeezes other lonely people all over the world.
And eats a lot of cake.
And cuddle.
Mmmm nothing like cuddling up to a chocolate cake.
*squeezes Ry while serving chocolate cake and whispering a clicky joke like “potatoes” to her*
Noooo! You sound like a lonely failpeep!
Are you still on about that episode of Bones?
It’s a feeding frenzy!
♪love is a burnin’ thing…♫
Quit chanting the mantra, already! I’m starting to see pickles…and not in the good way.
That WAS disturbing…
*Pickle Surprise!*
(It is not lame to want to come to FailBlog and squeezie my JudyPeep. I have found my community at FB.)
*squeezie*
Shark-Toy made from fluffy koalafur.
Another plush toy bites the dust.
(Perhaps we have to rephrase the toy, mates.)
Thar she blows!
♫ Thar she blows again, racing through my brain… ♫
a sailor’s life for me
sailing the sevens seas hunting the great koala of the depths
thrusting my buttocks between splintery planks to save a sinking ship
watching my legs get cut off by a falling mast and watching them slowly drifting away into the sunset yarrr
I don’t recall that scene in any of the three movies…
it was in the director’s cut, Granny had quite a big scene before the director threw up and then threw me out
I am directing a prequel you can be in – Pirates of the Mediterranean, The Gay Years. It’s all about how Jack learned to sword fight.
All you need to know about seamen:
Sea Poem (John Robinson)
I must go down to the sea again
For a sail and a tot of rum,
A ‘Hello Sailor’, a futtock’s end
And the warmth of a cabin boy’s smile.
You’re gonna need a bigger brain.
its a pedoshark run quickly!
“beautiful animals in natural wildlife poses”
*wonders what the natural pose of the Homo Erectus in the wild would have been*
hunched double while shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree?
Fail aside, I think you regular guys really need a forum, or a shoutbox, or a something that allows you to chat. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of socializing, but shouldn’t the comments be more about…commenting? As opposed to the chains of wordplays and hugging all these threads evolve into.
*squeeze!*
Mogget – please, just trust me – you’re being hugged by “Granny” – cover your ass and run as fast as you can! DOITNOWMOVE!!!
*snork*
*flies into thread*
*fly-by squeezes for all failfriends*
I’ll be back when there’s a bit more chains of wordplay and hugging. Hope everyone is having a happy, happy holiday!
*returns fly-by squeeze*
I’m off to shop for a while, anyway. I do Black Friday a little more casually- 11:00 a.m. as opposed to 4:00.
Later, peeps!
No. No. I am at work, having a far from happy happy day.
Still- with all these group squeezes, word play runs, private potato jokes and totally un-shark/koala related conversations this particularly grumpy and lonely failpeep gets a few giggles interspersed throughout the endless mess that is month-end in the office.
I am home cleaning and making room for my Christmas tree but every time I find another stash of cd’s, I come back to my computer to find what is on the cd’s and to see who else is awake.
I’ll be by for the beginning of the next fail.
*gentle squeezes*
(still full from Thanksgiving meal)
I shall continue to squeeze failpeeps and discuss unrelated topics.
There are only so many comments that can be made about penis shaped turkey necks, mislabeled stuffed animals and the like. You could treat this like Playboy and just look at the pictures in the privacy of your own bedroom. The upside is, you will need less lotion and jackrags.
There is no limit to how many comments can be made about penis shaped turkey necks. And if, if, you do find you’re running low, just switch to comments about turkey neck shaped penises.
I take it you have met my ex-husband.
You were married to him!? I had no idea.
A forum? With people like Granny?
What would that look like?
“Dear Failblog Forum,
I never believed these stories were actually true…until last night. It was 2:00 in the morning…”
…and I saw the most extraordinary sight outside my bedroom window. A donkey wagon was slowly going by, but the donkey was being ridden by…
a wonkey dragon, I suddenly had the feeling my day was turning into a Dr Seuss story. This was confirmed when. . .
…the dragon, carrying a fox wearing peal sox, offered the Moomin some green eggs and potatoes, at which point he…
…squeezed the donkey by the ankles and then ran into his house to eat his meal in peace, when he realized he had no curtains…
…he improvised with some nails, a sheet and a bottle of baconlube. He ate by the light of a glowing ET finger and when he had finished…
The vicar stopped by for some sor cream and chives.
Your right we should have a meeting more like this video. Clicky
darn forgot nsfr. there be bad words yelled. :=(
Not Suitable For Reading?
Now see forgotten rhodes?
Never slap a forgotten raccoon?
double fail. i loose the internet. change nsfr to nsfw. its too early for me.
not safe for reading?
*clicky* found where the koala was.
It’s a rogue shark that made its way up into the eucalyptus trees of Australia.
Crikey!
Obviously it’s from the new range of transformers.
Its a Shark with think he is a KOALA
CTF x C Bitches! xD
SO FAKE, they just took a koala tag and put it next to the shark. There isnt a string holding the tag onto it.
I was about to say that. I noticed too.
This isnt a fail, this is actually an eastern amphibious species in southern Japan called the Koala.
Don’t belive me? Clickie for a pic of one.
oh, cute little koalaaaa…
WHAT LARGE TEETH YOU HAVE!!!!
|the kid|
lol the shark ate the koala
Sharks really like some Koala’s meat. nham nham
Fail! its not a koala its a panda!
I got u a koala…but i eated it.
A dingo ate your koala
Well… its grey.
It could be a more mundane reason — a Chinese packager unable to read English.
I call it Darwinism. No potential prey is going to mind the koala…
I once bought the exact same thing at Sea World 5 years ago…
They sell koalas at Sea World?
no, I bought the same shark ^_^
Go Sharkie, Go!
For some reason this picture made me want to see a fight between a shark and a koala! Perhaps the koala could be a genetically engineered giant koala to make the fight fair?
Koalas are boring. Also sharks. Therefore, the magic f*ck duck will prevail.
I say Koala you say shark.
fake, just put the tag on the shark.
I get it. It ate the koala.
So when is Discovery Channel doing Koala Week?
If you will look closely the tag isn’t even attached .The tag isn’t even attached.
sorry about the first comment i wrote pretty much the same thing twice
Clearly the scientific experiments to create amphibious koalas are working….
So cute. I want one.
that is definitely not a koala
if you look at it closely you can see that it isn’t even attatched. Someone just bought a koala and then stuck the tag on this. THIS IS A FAILED FAIL
must be post mortem
WOW. that is sooooo dumb, obviously the person who took this picture just took the tag off a koala stuffed animal and put it infront of the shark. look at it! theres no plastic thing to hold the tag on. woow thst is sooo stupid. legit.
I had a toy from the same company.. it was a sting ray but had a giant tortoise tag =S