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Cheezburger Network Blog
MIND BLEACH!!! STAT!!!
IT BURNS!!
NEED EYEBLEACH NOW!
Written by Perez Hlton.
type in “why is there” on google.com and look at the results
why is there a dead pakistani on my couch
first result ..
Why is there buttock stabbing in Rome?
“why is there a baby squirrel in your cleavage?”
“Why is there two l’s in Google?”
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Why does Google have two ls?
Why does Google have two ls?” is a question many people are asking this morning. The answer is simple. Google is celebrating it’s 11th birthday. The two ls are actually two 1s.
Written by Rita Repusla
Oh, haw haw.
My Pretty Little Hookerâ„¢ Now available for toddlers!
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*Goes and buys*
Did you hear about the new Suicidal Sally Doll?
SHE REALLY DIES!
It gives new meaning to the term prosti-tot..
nope, pretty much the same meaning it already had
Well, it’s a new image for it anyway..
She’s awfully young to already have a pearl necklace.
Seriously, every joke that comes to mind right now is sooooooo inapropriate I can’t even bring myself to type any of them!
Looks like my sister-in-law taught her how to put on makeup.
with a spatula?
Oh, that would be just wrong. Spatulas are for flattening hats.
She’s awfully young to have such huge hair, to a point where its bigger than her head.
Ever see a kiddie “beauty” pageant? Big hair is the standard!
Those kiddie “beauty” pageant always freak me out, those fake smiles seem to come out of my deepest darkest nightmare.
Their parents freak me out.
Agreed.
Along with those who want their kids to fullfill their dreams in sports or whatever…
*squeeze*
Better to encourage their interests than coerce them…what about parents that discourage athletics for girls or the arts for boys?
*squeeze*
You would probably get the oposite of what we have today.
I belive this calls for C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
i think this is just an all around fail.. why would someone agree to put THAT on as the picture to make people want to buy it?
i think it screams pedo..
those are the parents that are deathly afraid of their kids turning teh ghey.
dont they know there raising prostitutes
They are creepy…
I hate how those kiddy beauty pagents are “alright sally heres how you win mommy’s love…and if you get anything but first place you’ll be swimming with the fishes”
agreed
Shit, I’d give her a pearl necklace. That’s one thing I don’t mind giving to whores, of any age.
It’s time you left the planet.
Perhaps the assistance of a hoof would be appreciated?
Go for it! Right in the head! And then ZA can take care of the rest…
The paw…whattaya call it? The paw, his foot…..the hoof. The hoof got caught in the grill and I gotta hack it off.
yeah but the necklace isn’t really the focus…
hit her for getting youre money back
I hope she hits nambla types like you square in the mouth.
Nambla is for boys.
North American Man-Beotch Love Association.
There.
What are you talking about guys? This isn’t a fail. I find her attractive XD
Yea me too.
They’re called Prostitoddlers! Geez get it right! LOL
No, it’s prostitots.
She looks like the girl in the Art of Noise “Close (to the Edit)” video.
OR – look like a mexican cholla “beauty” kit
I’m not sure if that’s racist or not but I’m just going to pretend to be offended so I can call you a racist… it’s all us white people have left.
Mislabel, perhaps? Pretty WITCH!!!
I always look for the phrase “non-toxic” on any makeup I wear.
And in children’s toys. That one hyphenated phrase makes all the difference!
I looked for it on men as well but none come with that stamp
I’d like to claim I`m non-toxic but all the time I spent in my life chewing on ballpoints and failing at it suggests quite differently
That is, most certainly, a Girl Fail.
Thats the life of a model for you.
Now, don’t criticize the girl because her parents are too lazy to get jobs of their own. She is slowly making her way to a rehab center… or a gutter…. Her parents must be so proud. -shot-
Shot?
Through the heart?
And you’re to blame… Darling, you give love … A bad name
(forgot how to make the music notes)
♪
♫
I know many people have memorized the codes or have them on hand to copy and paste. I guess I embrace the Web as my giant notepad because I just google “music note html” when I need ‘em.
*cough*me too*cough*
I can’t be bothered with coding html
The pathetic thing is that I’m an IT consultant and even have a web design certification.
what I do is click on my Vista icon in the bottom left corner. The menu pops up, and it includes the Character Map. It’s pretty quick to access.
Oh, kafleen — don’t be all braggy aboutcher Vista.
a bout cher, bleue fille petite
this expensive end ….it worries me
lol. Yeah that works too. I should probably keep the list again until I start remembering them again. Even though Vista got a lot better with the Service Packs, I still don’t care for it. I’ve been using WIN7 since the Beta release a year ago. It’s still a lot like Vista, but I do like it. Microsoft is still the devil though!
i’ll be sticking with xp for many more years, it has charmap too you know… but then i was still using ‘98 up until about 2004…
(insert guitar solo here)
An angel’s smile is what you sell!
You promised me heaven then put me through hell.
perhaps a shot of gin because its all so sad.
Hello Ugly !
The unsuccessful sequel to Hello, Dolly!?
LOL!
little whore set recommend by daddy
*remembers a clip from The Soup* “Daddy says we have to keep our special love a secret~” *shudders*
A young Tammy Faye.
This is what happened to Jon Benet Ramsey. …
A shame.
There is a show on tv about baby beauty queens and I stumbled across it before and it sickens me to see the way the parents are and what their children become.
With big money involved ?
“Toddlers and Tiaras”. I’ve seen the show. It’s like a train wreck, it’s hard not to look. There was another show about young woman who had been in pageants all her life (she was 17 when the show was filmed). What she had become was disgusting. And terrifying. And indescribably sad.
That show makes me sad.
little miss moonshineYou choose a strange fail to come back… Hello!
*waves*
feelin' dank, fur sure'n.I watched Toddlers and Tiaras once… it was so lame, the black girl won best hair and best smile… she was wearing a wig and a mouth piece. o.0
Not that that was the worst thing I saw… just an ironic tid-bit that suck out.
Like Bruno’s parent interviews for hottest baby…
Wow!
Did that make its way onto FB?
Have since attempted to youtube this clip.
It’s nowhere to be seen.
Surely Amy Winehouse rather than Christina Aguilera?
no.
this kid has bad hair and make-up whereas Whinehouse is bad all around.
Amy Winehouse gives me nightmares..
So does your avatar. Who cares?
This kid also has bad teeth. Whinehouse has bad teeth.
I was thinking the same thing! Just darken the creepy kid’s hair and its Winehouse before the heroin!
Mirror not included.
Or recommended.
*snork*
The comments on this fail have disturbed me SO much that I’m not going to finish reading them, so if you guys have said anything else particularly funny or brilliant, just point the way and I’ll go look. Otherwise, I’m staying off this fail.
*happytoseemyfriendsheresqueeze*
*Ididmybestsqueeze*
Check out my Star Trek comment a little further down.
Pretty Princess harlot makeup kit.
like Rapunzel pull her hair!
All that’s missing are Elvira’s squooshed-up boobs.
those are some pretty scary eyebrows. ew.
I’d hit it.
With a baseball bat?
oh hit will she in anyway possible by her pimp and clients
So you get youre money back.
Why the change in names?
Because he’s an idiot in need of a date with Gracie’s sparkly pink bat?
Hopefully, this little kid would hit back.
Metal spike in forehead not included.
Where’s Scotty? I read that as Starfleet Makeup Kit and thought this must be the Klingon add-on.
gna!
Ha! She look more Ferengi to me!
Well it’s still a teenage wasteland.
Who?
Scotty, can you hear me?
No, but I can see you, since I can see for miles and miles.
Harumph!
They’ll be standing on their very own street corner in no time. They grow up so fast.
More like Amy Winehouse…
Pat Benatar.
I’d like to know what kind of “pretty princesses” they were thinking of.
Paris Hilton, maybe? The “Stupid Spoiled Whore” episode of Southpark comes to mind.
This is just the expansion pack. The main version includes directions on how to be just like Paris! Including fashion tips! “Who needs underwear?” Catch phrase how-to! “That’s at a high temperature!” And, how to be a complete moron! Need I say more?
hm maybe its the pose on the internet set…
Wow, at this moment I like MyLittlePorny even more than this
Awful. Poor baby.
My sentiments exactly.
I always wondered what happened to the baby from “It’s Alive”…………
VIVAAAAAAA LAS VEGAS!
*sets phaser to ‘ZOMG Kill it!!!’*
Special Discount for Floridian Pedophiles!
I don’t like her demeanor.
No Uncle Leo fans? Helloooo.
They said they were sending an Asian woman.
What a stupid young girl
That’s Garbage.
There is no way this is for sale in the Northeast. It must be a south eastern USA thing.
This is for Halloween, right?
all hollow tween*crying softly in the corner, rocking*
No cries Northern eagle.
You could win little miss USA with that.
Yeah, but her hair isn’t big enough. And it needs more blush.
And while supplies last, “My First Crackwhore Kit” and “Little Miss Methie.” Just send in 10 UPC codes and $19.95 for shipping and handling.
*Buy the expansion! Mr. Pot –snort– Head!*
she should get that thing by her lip gnawed off by a rat
my 3 year old daughter just saw this and said “omg, she’s so gross!” so i don’t actually know what child would want this thing lol
There are some ugly kids out there so this would be a step up.
There’s nothing more wholesome than trolling the FAIL blog with your 3 year old! LMAO
I don’t understand. How is this a fail?
If that’s how you do your makeup, you might want to get some help.
Farm boy, fetch me that pitcher!
Why do you build me up?
And worst of all, you never call
when you say you will.
Buttercup, the Young Humperdink, et al.:
I must inform you that I have put in a transfer to Brier Rose’s woodland cottage. I regret any inconvenience this may cause, and wish you all the best.
Regretfully,
Westley
“Homer, you have it set on ‘whore’!”
It also looks like a failed drag queen look — SOMEONE doesn’t know how to cover eyebrows.
Homers makeup-shotgun was the first thing that came into my mind as well seeing this picture.
I gots me a new clickie!
OMG. That’s hilarious!
Wow… Well it was different. Ok, I did laugh a bit. Too bad YouTube is going to delete it eventually. At 1:15 the guy is jumping up and down checking out the topless girl by the pool. As much as I may have enjoyed it, I’m pretty sure YouTube has a rule against that.
Yeah… must not show boobie on youtubie!
hm. is this pedo-repellant?.. looks quite effective..
could have picked a girl that had slightly better teeth as well… i know the standard is low for 6 year olds but STILLLL
There is a standard for 6 year olds? BAD TOUCH!
STRANGER DANDER! STRANGER DANGER!
Whatever you do, don’t let any kids into Angie’s unmarked van!
It is too marked. It has Ice Cream written in spray paint.
Does not!!
It has ass cream spray painted all over it!
onoes! dander! gettheselsunblue, quick!
Pretty disgusting.
Hi all. She is the hungarian super star Tünde Kiszel! xD (f crs when she was little…:)
http://tv2.hu/Root/TV2Site/Sztarok/Images/kiszel_tunde_large.jpg
It’s not the pretty princess, it’s the ugly princess
They say non-toxic, but it look like Chinese crappy products.
It’s actually one of the wicked step-sisters.
And I think they did to much photoshop on the picture
Hey look!!! It’s Amy Winehouse!!!
Looks like one of them Russian girls that do gymnastics.
DO NOT WANT.
CANNOT UNSEE
ARHRHHRHRHRHHGGHH!!! she is the devil!1!
*shudder*
Easy on, easy off indeed.
She reminds me of my ex-girlfriend…Oprah Winfrey.
Totally.
http://www.redbullreellife.co.nz/theatre/the-oprah-winfrey-slumber-party/
Now included free with the Red Light jr. gift set
What’s with the chola eyebrows?
Vulcan, apparently.
WOAHhh she looks nice. XD
JK JK
WOAH ugly!!!
I’d hit that… with a brick.
It looks like Homer left the make-up gun on “Whore” again.
First
Yes. Yes, you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.
Oh, um. hi there. I just popped in lookin for my friend, 5 eagles. Are you still on, 5 eagles?
Hey sunnyhuckle I was trying to find you LOL. See you on the pool table.
I spoke for you on ichc, but you were not there to answer.
We did that to a drunk buddy once. Except we used magic markers instead. The eyebrows were pretty close though. You’d need industrial strength solvents to get it off. That, or a belt sander.
I hate to say it, but I think the brat would be ugly with or without the god-awful makeup.
She reminds me of a 63 year old hooker I met backpacking through Romania.
Ahhh… 80’s style makeup, how it should die.
Lady Gaga!?!?!?!
How do you report offensive posts?
There is one up above that just about warrants a police investigation.
Go to the bottom of the page and click on “contact us”.
And there’s only one?!?!
OH DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE
Pedo repellent, could work
Pfft. We wish. I can’t think of anything that deters those abominations.
Castration?
I don’t think so.
I’d help with that.
Castration actually does not stop them. Only death does.
I can’t believe how many pedo trolls this fail has brought out. Kinda scary, really.
Maybe it’s a sting.
kafleen, you’re such a doll. I love it when you post — wish you could do more from work (just guessing)…
*shuffles hoofies and looks down with a huge stupid grin*
gee, tanks!
Actually, I cannot access these sites at work…I’m a delivery driver anyway, so I don’t get much chance. I can however, view Fark on my cell phone…mwhahahahahhaahh!
Yay!
Well, it’s nice to see you when we see you, I guess.
What a dumb fail, huh? I saw this on the voting page — needless to say, I did NOT vote for it.
I definitely have mixed feelings about it. It is at once heartbreaking, hilarious, repellent, and frightening. Who knew the trolls would be so icky on this one? Usually trolls just make me crack up but this turned out to be One Huge Fail all around. *sigh*
*zips into thread*
*stealth-squeezie!*
*zips back out again*
How many are the real deal? How many are tasteless shock value just because you’re all such a bunch of prissy wimps?
You tell us. Our magical mind reading machines are borked today.
You say prissy wimp like it’s a bad thing.
Look.
You either read the whole thread or you didn’t.
If you didn’t, STFU and RTFT.
If you did, then you saw this, et al. :
RobZip says:
November 22, 2009 at 4:15 pm
These kind are all over my area. I like to grease it into ‘em soft and listen to their bones pop when it swells up.
Now, I’m not saying this is true. It doesn’t have to be. Just the fact that he said it and there wasn’t much of a reaction is a sad commentary on society. But if you think our reaction to that makes us a bunch of prissy wimps, God help you.
at last a post where the meme
“kill it, kill it with fire”
is finally, truly, appropriate
FIRST!!!
xD
Oh, you.
*bonk*
Last time I checked, that was called child abuse. Imagine having to explain that ten years from now, when Mom tootles at your sweet sixteen, “Oh did I tell you kids that Katy was a model?” and whips THIS out.
Check the fine print. Are you sure it doesn’t read “Pretty ugly Princess”? Cause even RuPaul (or Dennis Rodman) looks better unshaven and without makeup.
Nice!
Look. It’s Little Mimi Bobeck.
Hmm-I had no idea they made whore makeup for ages 5 and up.
Poster child for pedo-bear.
AAAH I’LL HAVE NIGHTMARES NOW
I have no idea what to say. SO hoorrible!!!!!
Ya know, if they had’ve left the real eyebrows uncovered and not added fake ones, the kid would look ok – as it is now, even Bindi Irwin looks better (and she’s one unfortunate looking kid – well, used to be, anyway).
GAH WTF
Buy “Pretty Princess” and turn your child into a whore!!!!
I saw a chick who actually had her makeup done like this… except she was obese, mid-40s, and her hair was the color of a red tomato.
She was HIDEOUS.
what the hell ?!
More like Slutty Prostitute Make up
My First Tranny by Fisher-Price
I’m pretty sure that is not just Christina Aguilera, but any and all mexican girls.
racist, are we?
reminds me off that simpson’s episode where homer is on some inventing binge, he creates the make up shotgun “for the lady on the go” that looks like the end result of that…
Dude, seriously? This is an actual product? It burns!
Why the hate for Christina Aguilera?
That’s just ugly.
At least they are representing the product truthfully. But it should be called “Pretty Trailer-Park Princess”
It’s a Tammy Faye trainee!
Its really weird when u need to say “NON TOXIC” ¬¬
Actualy, this would be a win since this is how most small girls look like after applying “beauty girly girl” cheap makeup.
Damn… Looks like pedo magazine… Scary
AAAAAAH!!! TAKE IT AWAY!!! TAKE IT AWAAAYYYY!!!
I think they meant HARLOT makeup kit.
Omg, it’s as though I’ve gone back to the trailer park!
I don’t know what’s worse – the makeup or the buck teeth.
She’s about six, jackass. The “buck teeth” are perfectly normal permanent teeth next to baby teeth.
OMG… My first thought was… oh, they made her up like Divine from the John Waters movie. Scary thought to associate with a 8 year old.
Eek… it’s a little less Christina Aguilera, a little more Dee Snyder of Twister Sister. Yikes!
Wonder what her mum looks like? Or does she get it form her father?
Your little princess is my little whore.
Why am i not surprised that pedophilia is rife in the modern world
you’d think they’d cover up her uglyiness!!!
I could have sworn when I first glanced at it that the package was going to be in Spanish…
NO! I said make her look like a “starlet”, not “harlot”!
Know what she looks like?
http://www.onlzoberurff.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/xl_hexe.jpg
Included with each package is a brochure titled “Why Drew Carey is a pig.”
Holy crap you guys!
I think we found Mimi’s childhood photo! =O
(Anyone who’s watched the Drew Carey show before will know what I mean)
CHEAP LITTLE PROSTITUTE. All ages.
Baby Crack Whore. Coming Soon!
thank god someone shoved a metal pole in her head
AH! its scary!! Someone hide me!!
well I’m glad not every covergirl looks like that!!!
SHE LOOKS LIKE GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO!
)
Yeeee, I wanna buy it!!
what the hell did they do to that poor lil girl
ah, this make-up kit really taps into the ´natural beauty´ thing…
I am now officially scared o.O