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» 185 Failures in Communication
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first
ahh i’m so gay.
You should stay away from Christians then. They might kill you for it.
they already did
The christians are still pissed at the Jews for killing their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen. Pass the bread please?
I am Pagan, It will have to be cake I am afraid….sorry
Pass me a cake and you will get it back all decorated with naked men on it. It’s a hobby, I can’t help myself.
I think I could cope!
Do you mean grope the cake K@tcf.?
That sounds messy and sticky.
Yay My favourite!
Cake or death?
Hey, BFF! Go to Dragon’s site, please, and read her guestbook. And before you ask: Yes, no doubt.
I giva that cake or death video one million internets.
I also give my previous comment one million internets. Yes, I KNOW I spelt give wrong. lol
and I spelled spelled wrong too.
Really? I wouldn’t be surprised at all, and I believe you, but do we have solid evidence?
As I said: No doubt.
I’m Jewish, and how exactly did we kill ur Jesus? I mean, that doesn’t even make sense. Jesus WAS Jewish!
your right Purple =)
Umm dude. Chill out. First off, he is not MY Jesus and secondly, there is a movie out by a very crazy man who spews nonsense about the Jews killing Jesus. Google is your friend, find Mel Gibson.
The Jewish people did not kill Jesus, but they did ask that he be killed. And yes, he was Jewish. That didn’t stop them from choosing to request that he be killed.
Pilate to Herod:
“I have a hippie problem”
Herod to Pilate:
“Don’t tell me about your hang-ups, I’m busy trying to get ahead of a problem myself.”
I guess this crossed the line.
Pfftt what line?
I don’t know where it went, but if I find it I’ll nailing it up where I can see it.
I learned to live by the “what line” motto
The line is always moving, depending on who you are talking to. For me, that means there is no line.
On of my crowning achievements is line dancing.
Weeeeee!
Ah, but he’s dead. Moving on…
….and ~2000 years after the fact…Fails were finally documented.
And I did my failpeep duty and voted on fails today. Fifty pages of fail. There was a video fail that was already powered by Velvet. Does that mean it was used already? How far back in the 90 pages (and to infinity) do we need to ramble through?
I dont know, I just do enough every few days that my head feels funny, and leave it at that.
There is not actual proof from historians that any man during the supposed life of Jesus walked around and performed miracles. There are however historians who documented Jesus hundreds of years after he supposedly lived.
And IF u dont understand wat i just said ( cuz ur an idiot )
JESUS NEVER EXISTED
OK, you obviously need some ritalin.
heh heh heh, I just realised how much of a fail this person is to be replying to ME in this thread!
*noms cake*
*giggles*
You might have just either just offended or scared every Hispanic mother that ever named her son Jesus. And one of my best friends is named Jesus. Now I am going to have to wonder if our friendship ever existed outside of my mind.
There is also proof that in the year we commonly agree He was born, THREE children (boys) were born and named Jesus. Just not exactly where the bible says.
Actually, no. I mean, you’re mistaken. This being Sunday morning, and this also being one of my areas of expertise (ahem!) please forgive my pulpit-pounding and historical lesson following, Failbloggers. I know there is much funny to be gleaned from the Bible, but when folks just don’t have their facts straight, well, I’d like to straighten them. With a ruler. (Whap!)
The oldest versions of the gospels we have do date from the time when Jesus lived. Just not the King James Version.
You’d have to be able to read Aramaic to understand them. I’ve read some bits of the Vulgate Bible (feel free to make fun of that name, I do!) in Latin. Very interesting some of the variations on some words used, when translated into English.
Herod was the local king of the area known as Judea. Pontius Pilate was the Roman governor of the same area. Neither of them liked the idea of a man who appealed to the mass of the people, and advocated a new kingdom to come when God would be in charge, not hereditary rulers or politicians. In a nutshell. So, Herod arrested Jesus for treason, and turned him over the the Romans for execution. Three days later, his friends swore they saw Jesus, son of Mary, walking around again with scars on his body and joy in his heart. Whether you believe this was the greatest miracle in history or not, it makes a great story!
/Pulpit pounding off/ I now return you to your regular Failblog.
All bibles where written in different interpretations to appease the local King/Priests/Religious Organization/etc.. at the time, for power and control. A cloud looks like a bunny but wait it looks like a Irish setter etc.. . No doubt A man named Jesus lived and had wonderful teachings but that was the extent of his powers. The power of Love. Spirituality brings men/women together, Religion pulls men/women apart.
JESUS NEVER EXISTED (citation needed)
Oh, right.. Citation, huh? I’ll have to get back to you with that!
Ah, interesting that this discussion is going the Jesus way. Because just the other day, I found a free online DNA test telling you whether you are a direct descendant of Jesus & Maria Magdalena. It only takes four minutes and you’ll be surprised how it works.
[click]
Ryannon, that comment of Christians being pissed at the Jews for killing Jesus, shows the problem with people nowadays. It is an ignorant comment. The Roman Catholics killed Jesus.
It matters NOT that Mel has a movie that says Jesus was killed by the Jews. Come on….there are movies that say Keanu Reeves can fly and bend time. That doesn’t make it true.
My name is christian. I wouldn’t kill her.
Have you seen her naked? Some things can’t be unseen.
Unless you apply brain/eye bleach, specially stored in the FB warehouse, where the innunedo machines, universe implosion buttons, and GBF body doubles in jeeps are kept.
and our endless supplies of ShamWow™s, and the bukkit, and several dead trolls.
Great to be back, y’know? GBF, what happened to your extensive name?
Yes, and those to. And where Boggy allegedly hides to scare people who wander in.
Great to have you back, Jon! My name was reduced after Ryannon became nostalgic, and yearned for days lone gone, when my name was only three words long, so I changed it. How’d I look?
*poses*
You look marvalous apsaloutly marvalous. SNL skit ?
Lookin’ Good, GBF!
I’ve noticed a slight decline in FailFriend Population..
I know WN went, but what’s happened to Brewski? Did we finally steal all of his pants?
Cheers!
I’m afraid WN, Brewski and even Emperor have left us for the real world. We’ll have to go on without them, and survive on our other bright, hilarious, intelligent FailBloggers. They will be missed, but not forgotten.
*Pours out shots of water/liquid ??* “here to the great people from the past present and future”
If you die in the real world, do you die here too?
No, your avatar lives on forever and ever.
Oh good.. Well I might as well get a new image if I’m going to be here for a while!
Brewski..left?
Christians don’t hate gays. If you actually read the new testament, you would probably know this.
If you’re using a laptop, you take a swab with a cotton bud and smear it over the mouse pad.
Tech Support? My mouse is acting jerky.
My advice, don’t take it on a second date.
Stop smearing that on me!
He was only trying to push your buttons.
If you get a blue stripe, it means you’re not pregnant.
If your computer breaks and smells like urine, then you’re an idiot.
^^^ Oh dear there appears to be a blue cross at the top of the page….sorry you are up the duff.
Now all you have to do is sign up for some of these offers and then you can find out who the father is!
Only his initials.
In apple peel
*frets* What if I used a usb hub?
*strings* Use bluetooth that way we can all pick it up at the same time.
*Whammy* There’s an app for that.
*neck* My iPod doesn’t bluetooth any more
I need to find the warranty.
You like to “neck”??
*makes out with sauerkraut and gives him a cowlick*
Can men take the test too?
It would be sexist if they couldn’t!
I was wondering how many points one has to gather to be pregnant
sometimes just one lol
The way her body is behaving also helps identifying pregnancy, but it’s not very accurate.
Taking it serious guy #1 has arrived I see.
You’re making a checklist? I think that makes you Taking it Serious Girl #1.
To add to the log book, we have to write it all down!
*rummages about for the logbook*
*finds it and takes copious notes*
Oh dear, I’m pregnant.
Don’t jump to conclusions. It could be a corrupt partition on your hard drive giving you a false positive. You need to go to Best Buy and have the pregnancy confirmed by the Geek Squad.
Or just wait 9 months and see what happens.
Or second trimester.
Seventh.
ur so cool..
We all need role models.
I’d rather roll some of these down a long steep hill.
11th
wow this is the least failures in communication i have ever seen on a fail…this is a momentous occasion
It’s Sunday. You’re lucky there are even this many.
It’s sunday. Way too early.
It’s Sunday, give it some time. It’s why there are fewer fails on the weekend as well.
Not if you count my day yesterday!
I try not to think of you very often. I get tingly in places I don’t want to tingle. I hope you understand.
*snorkies*
Just so long as the tingle is not always in the left arm, followed by chest pains.
And little white, black dots don’t appear before your eyes.
gotta hate those white-black dots.
Must we? Can’t we all get along?
*chants and holds anti-colo(u)r-of-dotism demonstration*
*sings kumbaya my lord, kumbaya*
*5 eags changes white and black dots to the four directional colours red white black and yellow dots.
*5 eags changes white and black dots to the four directional colours red white black and yellow dots. and starts singing Kumbaya with Ryannon.
*slinks away muttering how it wasn’t at all a racist comment, just pointing out the use of white and black in the same description, which would just be grey, and i have no problem with grey, it’s just a separate colour*
Don’t beat yourself up about it.
That’s our job.
Besides, I’m color blind, it’s all grey matter to me.
Technically, you never see just gray.
This site really exists and its full of lulz.
www-thepregnancytester-dot-com
omg- it is real. its probably not a virus, either. they try to make it make sense.
You are welcome to take a free test
)
I did, and according to it I’m pregnant (OMFG!)
Now guess, what’s my gender
Hmmmmm… Male?…
yep, but now I knew what they feeling during such tests
Probably NOT a virus? What else could it be?
HAHAHAHA i’m pregnant with Fabio’s baby boy, lol.
not first!
Hmmm…
*eyes the false fairy with suspicion*
What should we do with this imposter, chaps?
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
Hmmmm, Flattered yet confused as hell as to why anyone would want to be in the slightest like me to tell you the truth.
*wanders off to rock in the corner*
That’s the first step to become a FB-star: Have an imposter.
Ah but you have had so many, I will never reach those dizzying heights!
Woohoo. I’m soooo proud.
Awwww
*squeeze*
LOL, Fear me for I am Arfoor!
What imposters?
I never made it to stardom. I have never been impostered and I have never powered a fail. I feel so useless.
Here, don’t fret, have some sugar.
*Gives Ry a bag of candy*
*tingles*
First of all, you’re too much of a badass for anyone to dare mess with you. And second, you’ve powered plenty of fails of the 1magination.
(Sorry for the eventual double-post.)
Awww I think I love you a little bit in a non-lesbian kind of way.
*Nods in agreement with the Admiral*
*searches for more candy*
Don’t feel useless! How can someone as i maginative and hilarious as you be without use? Without use, smut levels would collapse! It’d be the apocalypse! Can you i magine a FailBlog without innuendo? NO! So cheer up, and have some cookies!
But, seriously, having an imposter can be a very bad thing. Arthur Eld has been through this, and so have I. My frauds were extremely malicious, and spammers as well. You’re very lucky not to have any fakes, Ry!
uhh.. F1rst?
First of all, you’re too much of a badass for anyone to dare mess with you. And second, you’ve powered plenty of fails of the imagination.
I think I love you in a very non-lesbian kind of way.
This is Furry?
Hmmm may need a rethink!
Furry?
Please do not feed the trolls.
Want some cake?
dang… why have I not risen to the point of having my own imposter… I feel so… unspecial. Neglected. Fortunate.
Mooo
Well we can’t all have cool jobs working at a tattoo joint, but we can dream! Seriously, I would love to quit being an IT consultant and have a job like that.
(Sorry if I’m wrong, but you’ve had that clickie of the parlor for as long as I can remember.)
Unfortunately I don’t work there, my husband does….I answer phones in a cubicle.
But the clickie has me on it, you just have to rummage!
Yup. I saw you on there when I checked it out a looooong time ago.
I do vary it, but usually with things like painted cows, or various custard based recipes. The FG site is just a fallback.
Awww…blogmonster ate my post.
*sigh* failure to scroll. I’ll just take the bukkit and go crawl in bed, an’ ye don’t mind. Not enough caffiene in the Northern hemisphere.
You are one funny bunny, annie.
Have cake in the breakroom?
Those “fails” are so horribly unfunny and not really failing after all.
You fail at seeing the fail in this fail. *stamps Demut with FAIL*
Demut likes to write something controversial which might bring him some replies. He already admitted that he thinks that’s “funny”, which, of course, only shows his lacking abilities to actually write something funny and hence get replies that indeed are fun. Poor soul.
And you guys apparently fail at not feeding the troll. Each time anew.
I should probably wait until Monday when more of the regulars are around, but I wanted to ask something while I’m thinking about it.
Does anyone here have Brewski’s contact info? They just opened up a bar about a block from my work with this funny looking huge sign that covers the entire front of the building. I took a picture that I wanted to send to him because the sign naturally displays the name of the bar, “Brewski’s”.
He left failblog to open a freaken bar! I checked the place out and it’s surprisingly a great place. You don’t even have to get plastered to have fun with all the stuff they have in there. Apparently on Saturday nights they have competitions with all the games and stuff they have, but you have to be f**ked up to play.
I couldn’t stop laughing last night!
He would like to hear that, I’m sure. You’d have to find him on Facebook, though.
I have a Facebook account, but I don’t really use it anymore. I don’t care for myspace or facebook. I created those accounts years ago when I was deploying to Iraq so I could keep in touch with friends.
Thank you RHSC!
Without folks like you folks like me couldn’t sit around blogging all day.
Well I work every day except 2-4 days a month off. So basically if I’m not actively working on a server or a network issue then I’m stuck sitting in front of the computer blogging or playing games.
Poor me, I have such a horrible job.
It’s so horrible that it took me a while to reply because the boss is BBQ’n and passing out the beer.
*Snickers*
Work, work, work. . .
Wait, what? Brewski’s….gone?
If you put the picture online and link to it, I will point him to it.
Thanks AA. I will try to post it tonight. I’m stuck at work right now so if nothing else, I will try to catch you on here tomorrow and post it.
I’ll look for it. If not, there are others that will catch it.
Guess nobody noticed the submitter’s name.
Most of us are adults and we take the high road and try not to comment on smutty things like his name. Your maturity level is showing. Wait, does that say what I think it says? bwahahah he needs some cream and better taste in wiminz.
Now now Ryannon, this is the 21st Century. Stop narrowing down the possibility of his affliction to bad taste in wimminz. Could be bad taste in men, ya never know!
Why not pass him some of FB’s best ass cream, Ry?
Bin dun.
laden?
See this is what happens when you don’t use floppys.
Now Judging,,,,”The result of this test can be seen after 10 months from now”
Up next on “I Didn’t Know I Was Prenant”: “But all of the internet tests I took came back negative!”
~~~
I hate stupid people…
Then put away your mirror.
ultimate fail
I’m starting to think that people that make adds online are mostly retarded
That’s a small group of people and there are a lot more retarded people out there than just people that make adds on line.
The retards, as you would call them, are the ones who cannot differentiate between a mathematical operation and advertising.
Wow, you state it out right, I try to point out his stupidity by using his own words.
“Doctor, I forgot to take my contradictive pills!’
“Contradictive pills? You’re ignorant!”
“Yes, I know, about three months”
Am I the only one who thinks the title is an epic win?
Nahh, It’s not a fail at all because it’s a QUIZ! Not an online pregnancy test….. perverts -_-
Maybe it’s a mood test? Or a cravings test, hmmm…
Lol, every ones talking about christians and homosexuality, so unrealated
DAMN! I was going to post this. But the first time I saw this, I had to tape my ass back on because I ROFLLMAO.
Maybe it’s a test for the kind of “pregnant” you get from having cybersex.
obviously from having ‘hawt secks’
http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/6416233
Seems like there are some more people failing on this idea
I liked it better when it just said “Pregnancy Test Fail” but now there’s an annoying header that isn’t remotely funny.
So I just pee into the dvd tray? Yeah, not funny. just embarrassing.