Friday Rewind: Home Shopping Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
We know it’s old!! It’s a REWIND!!!!
Your comment is photoshopped.
Just trying to head them off at the pass!
“Head them off at the pass”? I HATE that cliche!
*shoots Avis in the foot*
*is glad that was a water gun*
Of course! I dislike firearms but I love waterarms!
*heaves a sigh of relief*
Whew!
psst, Avis, did you know you were…..
*shakes head*
*mumbles*
don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it….
All wet?
the word that rhymes with thirst…..
*snork*
I thought you were going to make a crack about “watersports”.
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*chases DW with watergun*
WOOP!!!
*runs left….runs right…*
*smacks into a pole*
*lands on keister*
Oops…sorry. *helps Keister to his feet, who wobbles shakily off stage*
…Was that Keister Sutherland??
*drags cuddle puddle from last fail*
*huffs and puffs*
*there,whew*
*Offers Keister Sutherland and LIIT*
Thanks, z! We’ve been so dang busy here today, I didn’t even get a chance to enjoy it after I opened it. I never even got a drinkie!
*pouts*
*pours Jucy a cheery-juice-toonie*
…with a *squeeze*
Nummers!
Judy, was your drink jucy?
Aww…it’s an in-joke, sweets. The Admiral so often made that typo and corrected it that he finally just started calling her “Jucy”. He’s been doing it for a while.
*squeezy!*
*tickle tickle tickle*
*smiles*
Wow! I know you and Ms B are long lost sisters, but yousmile when the Admiral tickles her? Maybe you were twins separated at birth.
Who says they’re separated? Come join the conga-line, Scotty.
*joins the conga-rats*
Conga line? Woohoo!
*joins the back of the line, congas*
*hops in line behind Scotty*
Hey, this is fun!
*wiggle dances while conga-lining*
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
As long as you’re wigglin’, you’re doin’ it right!
*wiggledances*
*wiggle-congas*
OK everyone, now the Alley Cat!
Right, right, left, left, back, back, left knee, right knee, left knee, right knee, clap, jump and turn. Good!
Hey, Scott just opened up a secret dance floor level on the blog.
Hah! Scotty found an Easter egg!
*right knee, left knee*
*twists, sprains*
*falls, flops*
*gets up*
Jazz Hands!!!
*standing ovation!!*
*bows with confidence, knowing Arthur is fast asleep*
Encore! Encore!
*sneaks up behind Judy*
*POKE!!!*
Naw, I’m done. Your turn, Ms B! Show ‘em what we’re made of!
EEP!!!!!
*tries Scott’s dance combo*
*sees pink circles dancing in front of her eyes*
*faints dramatically*
Bwuaahahahahaaaa…
OOOF!
*falls over as Ms B collapses on her*
Hey! What would you have preferred? I just wanted to stop them before they got started?
*small voice* I was quoting a movie, not disparaging you.
*offers a ShamWow for foot-drying-off purposes*
*accepts ShamWow*
Thank you!
And, what movie?
I’m sure someone will be able to Name That Movie and Win Fabulous Prizes*!
*Disclaimer: Fabulous Prizes Not Included
Blazing Saddles!
*gives Scotty the Schnitzengruben prize!*
DingDingDingDingDingDingDingDing! We have a winner!
Here is a home version of our game and a gift certificate for dinner for two at the House of Schniztengruben.
Thanks, but I’m full, 15 is my limit on Schniztengruben.
Hmph. Serves me right for taking a few moments to verify the spelling of “Schnitzengruben.”
As if they ever read what’s already posted.
Well, no, they don’t. But this way mocking them is even easier!
It’s never been that diffacult. If we’re not careful we could develope brain atrophy. If you don’t use it, you lose it. Or is that just rubbing salt in the wound.
There you are! I just wanted to thank you for the awesome support you provided. It was very much appreciated.
*big, warm, manly hug*
I can has big, warm, manly hug also? Even if I am not a manly?
Win! I will buy it for sure.
You sure can. You were also awesome, as usual.
*big, slightly warmer, manly hug*
Mmm…. warm manlies.
I want one too!!
*stands real close to AA*
*smiles up expectantly*
*drives up*
*squeeze!*
*zooomz away*
What happened? Are you okay AA?
*Doesn’t mean to pry*
I’m perfectly fine, thanks.
There was an offensive comment posted on Lolcats that I objected to. It has since been removed. I was aware that the motivation behind my remark might be misinterpreted. Some very smart and caring friends saw to my defense in my absence.
It took place on “Waddya mean ‘Get help’?”.
*adds some fankoos to the pile*
From me, too LCB. Your comment brought a few shiny tears to my eyes.
…HEY! What happened to my shiny tears?!
*hides shiny, damp ShamWow behind back*
Just took a peek. Can’t say I’m shocked, but as I am in a somewhat snarky mood I will refrain from commenting. Cheezypeeps are nice to a fault.
I’m not sure I like the fact that I was around for the original posting of a classic rewind. On the other hand, I just reviewed the original comments and laughed at the merciless mirth-making had at the expense of the classic troll, DrDr.
OMG…I was just reading it! I’d forgotten that Mr Sausage used to call me the “Oracle”. I always wondered why he afforded me a name indicative of so much power when he loathed me so completely.
Is it wrong that I chuckled at my own joke? I came across “rDrR”.
I had JUST read that thirty seconds ago, and startled my kitten, I laughed so loudly.
What month is it from? I’ve forgotten, and lijit search doesn’t seem to work for me.
ht tp://failblog.org/2008/09/30/home-shopping-fail/
BTW, how’s the recovery coming Avis?
Oh, fine. Nothing to report, so that’s good news!
I missed all the drama yesterday and this morning — but thank you (even if belatedly) for calling him on his obnoxious behavior & for the way you were looking out for the Cheezpeeps.
At the risk of getting too mushy … I’m so very glad that I get to play with you and DW and Fluffy and Arthur and all the other fabulous FailPeeps on a regular basis. This is a neat little community and I really appreciate the welcome you have all given me.
*squeezes all the FailPeeps*
Well, I would like to just come in and make sure people know that I am back. And *squeeze*
Everybody, you are all really great people and make this a great community to be in, weird as it is that we are all doing this solely through comments.
*Secondary squeeze*
This little community is significantly neater because of you and your contributions to it, nightshayde.
*abashedly acknowledges the mushiness*
*SQUEEZE!*
Thank you very much, Nighshayde. It means a lot to me that you feel that way. I’m very glad that you like it here, because as DW just said, you add a LOT to our community and it wouldn’t feel the same without you. You’ve definitely got dual citizenship.
*heartfelt squeeze*
Me too? Pretty please with whipped cream on top?
Hee! Okay, I didn’t setup Dragon’s ATS machine, but here goes…
*big BoppitybopBopper squeeze*
*gives the Admiral his own debit card*
Ooooo! Platinum! I mean…it’s made of platinum, thoughtfully, otherwise I’d wear it out in no time at all.
SQUEEZE!
.
.
.
*
*
*groupsqueeze*
*rubs eyes*
Read that has “grope”.
*feels the love squeeze*
Me, too! Me, too!
*gropes failfriends*
*gropes back*
I can handle that!
*gropes peeps*
Gracie, I want to tell you you did admirably last fail. You did better than the rest of us ignoring the troll. I’m sorry he was such an asshat to you.
*squeeze*
*shiftyeyes*
*gropesqueezes*
I’m bummed I missed this. I hope someone sees it. I’d hate for a gropesqueeze to go to waste.
*squeezes Ms B’s gropes*
I saw it!!
*gooses Ms B*
Whoooop!
Yay!!!
Woops. My aim is…um…off. Yeah, that’s it.
*sigh* *swoon* Oh my.
*blush*
Nice manly squeeze AA.
*developing crush*
Ooop!
*loosens squeeze a bit*
I don’t think that’s the kind of crush she meant, Admiral. BBB, the Admiral’s taken.
Hee…! No worries. I mean, after all, he’s pretty darned crush-worthy, so I can hardly blame her!
*squeezes*
Well it seems he’s not gonna move UP in his career.
The ladders of career have let him down.
Now it’s locked in place. Yeah, we all said that before she got pregnant too.
What I like about rewinds is the fact that there’s no “today’s fail powered by”.
Oh you’re just jealous they’ve never picked you.
For the record, they’ve never picked me either.
I have been picked once. It was fun.
Now they pick WN for every second videofail. Do the English speaking also have the saying “to pour salt into a wound”?
Something along the lines of “adding insult to injury”?
Our saying fits better for this, IMO.
We use that one too.
I use that too.
Yes Arthur, we say pour or rub salt in the wound.
Arthur, also “kick them when they are down”
*kicks them when they are down*
What? That wasn’t an order? Oops.
*helps ‘em up*
only an order if “they” are trolls
While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice in it!
Insalt to injury?
*special Arthur squeeze*
Thanks to you, too, sweet stuff. I appreciated what you said to the neighbors.
I just spoke my mind.
*squeeze*
*squeeze to failpeeps*
Happy failing!
*cheez-squeeze*
Stop by any time, Mel!
Hi, Mel!
*squeeze!*
We have a saying just like that. We say, “Pouring salt into a wound.”
Seriously, it’s a fairly common phrase.
:p
What, hasn’t anyone told you yet Arthur?? We also have a saying about “pouring salt in a wound”.
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Oh no. I know what this means.
Are we leaving too much kryptonite laying around?
*cleans up kryptonite*
*hands the guys a beer*
Happy Friday, my peeps. I’m very glad to have you both as friends.
*clinks ‘n’ drinks*
*sips*
*BUUUUURPS*
Oops.
BTW – The pleasure is all mine.
*clinks*
*sips*
*BUUUURP*
*blames Arthur*
I’m very glad to belong to the “shades of gray” friends.
*doublesqueeze!*
Good bye! See you soon.
*poof*
“Shades of gray”? If you’re talking avatars, can I join?
If you’re talking hair, that’s me out.
*mumbles* as far as you know.
Tsk. Men.
*shakes head affectionately*
*tosses one last SKA-WEEEEEZE at Arthur before he completely poofs*
Hee! Avatars, LCB…definitely avatars.
*checks roots anxiously*
What nice visage to see all those shades of grey.
I guess that would make me a blue-haired old lady.
*shrugs*
I can handle that.
I was thinking of you when I wrote that, LCB.
*squeezes Aja’s gray bits*
Awww. How sweet!
*leaves Grecian urn full of squeezes and saddles up the old gray mare*
Laters!
Hey! Check the timestamps.
Yeah, but I’ve always heard it as “like rubbing salt into an open wound.”
wow he just keeps on trying XD
salesmen really are like tht. . .i dont think it will sell well and he’ll porobably lose his job
Just like a guy… he just keeps on trying even when it won’t stay up.
Why don’t they just record this instead of doing it live? We already know they’re lying and selling crap. Doing it live they just warn those poor bastards that thought it was a good product
Tape costs money, so live is cheaper, and retail’s margins require the lowest overhead possible.
Yup, and digital equipment is even more expensive. Besides, aside from being a wast of tape those stupid shows never go off so who has time to tape it anyway?
i love how they continue with the commercial after the guy just faceplanted into the collapsing ladder. that shows dedication to sell your product. i’ll take 3
Word to the wise: You can get away with selling flimsy crap on TV because not many people will go through the hassle of getting their money back.
But first you have to get them to buy it, which means that you’d have to be pretty frickin’ stupid to give the pitchman an off-the shelf model instead of the demo model that was put together correctly with sturdy materials.
Anyone see his web redemption on Tosh.0? Click on my name for the video…it’s at the bottom of the article.
^^
he died later as he was hit be a elevator
Your comment should be on failblog, lol. Engrish Fail.
did David Carradine masturbate on this ladder?
So, can we please have a breakdown of the fail for those less fortunate? In other words, still can’t watch the movies.
Guy tries to sell an increibly safe ladder on TV, climbs on said ladder, ladder collapses, he must have gotten hurt, but still continued to emphazise that the ladder is “safe to operate”. Female bystander giggles.
Incroyable!
Mais vrai!
End of commercial must say “Fac ut vivas”.
Latrine!
She changed her name.
Yeah. It used to be sh!thouse.
OMG!!! It’s Nick!! Sing to me Nick!!
This is not Mel Tormé!
I own that movie. Not many even know about it.
*squeezeAja*
Top Secret. I have it on VHS. Sadly, my VCR doesn’t work right now.
*sigh*
Not many know about it? What is wrong with those people?
♫If everybody had a 12 gauge, and surf board too…♪
I loved the giant watch.
I loved the extremely young and delicious Val Kilmer.
Our love interests appear to be somewhat different.
I was young and foolish. My tastes have since matured.
I’m having sauerkraut for dinner (and it won’t be in my lederhosen).
Peter Cushing FTW!
Volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Need I say more?
*drools*
I watch that movie for that scene alone.
Kelly McGillis as the Amish flight instructor was pretty hot, too.
She took my breath away.
LOL.
Back when Top Gun was still in theaters, I took a little boy I was babysitting to see it (with his parents’ permission, of course). When it got to the silhouette love scene, the boy said something to the effect of, “Ewww – that’s disgusting.” I, being a red-blooded 18-year-old, told him (after I wiped the drool from my chin) that I was pretty sure he’d change his mind in a few years.
That scene was hot!!!
Damn…that’s back when Tom Cruise was still tolerable to watch, too.
The aircraft and music upstage the actors in that movie. An actual Naval fighter pilot friend of mine sent me a VHS tape of “home-movies” taken aboard the “boat” he was stationed on. The video was set to the music from Top Gun. Best home movie EVAR!
Old 80s advertisement of a TV salesman on a shopping network trying to sell a clunky ladder that’s supposed to be “locked”. When in fact, it never locked (due to salesman incompetence?). So this thing is shaped like a “n” with slated out sides. Then he gets up on top of it, but the top starts to collapse. And now it’s shaped like a weak “m”, but only slightly down in the middle. But it stops and doesn’t fully collapse. So the salesman says “now it’s locked”… lol, as if. Obviously oblivious to the fact that he knows next to nothing about that product. He continues crawling across the top and then collapses completely. It looks like his face hits it on the way down, adding just the right spice to make this ad footage an instance YouTube classic. Good enough?
*claps* thanks!
Oopsy, I forgot.
It’s a shopping network clip of a man and woman selling a Little Giant type folding ladder. They have it set up in a scaffolding configuration, and the guy explains that all you have to do is push the side buttons to lock it in place. He then climbs up it while talking about how safe and sturdy it is. She’s a little nervous about it and says, oh, you’re scaring me. He starts to get on the cross part, and it buckles a little in the center. He says, “there, you see, now it’s locked in place.” He moves again and the ladder collapses to the ground, taking him with it. He continues to sell while they switch to a static picture of the ladder.
Thanks to all!
volatile int fail_ladder;
static int boring_ladder;
Aww, chutes!
Qwaz, are the chutes locked in place? Are they safe?
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the chutes.
*Jumps down chute*
*Halfway through, chute buckles*
*Tumbles out into recently dragged in cuddle puddle*
Yeah, it’s… functional.
Sweet…”functional” being the key word here…
Hey Dragon, do you still have my e-mail addy? Could you send me Emily’s e-mail? I would like to be able to send troll alerts directly to the source, if I can.
Woops! Sorry, didn’t see this down here. I looked, but can’t find your email, so shoot me a quick message and I’ll send you Emily’s email addy.
Thank you! I’ll do that!
we cant sell that in the uk too much elf and safety over here, they would have to read a 6,000,000 page booklet just to see how to put a ladder up and im not kidding,
To be fair that’s a professionalism win. He was bent backwards with his face embedded in the metal and still trying to sell it.
Fidelis ad mortem.
Popping off all. Squeeze ya know, squeeze ya later. Have a good weekend!
See ya, BBB!
*weekendsqueeze*
I’m taking off as well. Have a mahvelous weekend, dahlings!
*goodbyesqueezes*
Toodle-peeps!
see yah
Have a good one triple B.
i want to use this for raping a whalefish
*sigh*
whats a whale fish?
about a thousand or so a day
/badum dum
//hides
“It’s completely safe.”
“I don’t know. Your nose is bleeding.”
“I said it’s safe!”
“Let me help you up. Shiiiit your right foot looks… well it…”
“IT’S. COMPLETELY. SAFE. B**CH!!1″
“Medic!”
I think the secret of the ladderless ladder has finally been revealed. We can all sleep easy now.
I thought we were watching the secret of the Peter Principle revealed.
*squeeze*
Top film that
Although this looks to be a poor remake of Death of a Salesman.
*squeeze*
I hope this isn’t like that 1968 movie, Salesman.
Oh, and this:
*It’s-been-a-long-time-but-now-I’m-back-squeeze*
That was obvious!
*welcomebacksqueeze*
You have this guy to thank for the ridiculously oversized warning labels on ladders today.
Ladders can be such meanies sometimes!
*snort*
Unfortunately, he did everything right. I bought one of these pieces of junk.
Well, I’m convinced. That thing looks TOTALLY safe!
“Yes, I am okey, but I stepped over my jaw.”
Tweedledee and Tweedledum are here I see.
That’ IS THE DEFINITION OF F.A.I.L
Now it’s locked.
For no other reasons than it’s past my bed time and I am bored, here is a chicken joke:
Why does a chicken coop have two doors ?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Ladderplant
Or is it Ladder-plant?
Non of those.. haha
lol really FAIL…
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=660737
Lol, only in Sweden. Yes this happened in Sweden. I should know, I live here…
yeah, absolutely. But I think in other countries too, we just don’t know.
It’s like teaching a woman how to drive…pointless….
definitely my all time fave. glad to see it back here
“I thought it was safe” – some bleeding guy
That looked…painful *selfhug*
I’m back everyone!
FAT BEN MADE SO MUCH POOP! OH MAN, ITS EVERYWHERE! THERES NO END TO THE POOP! HE JUST KEEPS MAKING MORE AND MORE POOP ALL OVER THE PLACE! NOWHERE IS SAFE FROM THE POOP!
safe to operate:))
Who IS that salesman that took a metal bar to the kisser and kept telling people to buy it without so much as his voice cracking?
Who’s the guy who kept going after the partial collapse?
Hire that guy!!!!
He should be Slap Chopped upside the head.
ha ha i love how after he fails it cuts to the time lapse demo in which the ladder pretty much does the exact same thing but without him on
He is totally Gil Gunderson from The Simpsons! LOL
That ladder could be used as mouse-trap
omg it was crazy. “Actually i did not lock it, but if you lock it it will be OK”
There should be a link to this video under the word fail in the dictionary.