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Cheezburger Network Blog
Pffft! You just can’t get good quality meat anymore.
this happens in NORWAY all the time
Nor way! For real?
Oh, I don’t wanna look at this!!
*wales*
Can we sweden the pot for you and throw in some potatoes that are already sprouting roots?
Sudan we be avoiding meat like this?
There is no conCrete evidence it will hurt you.
Are you sure your research Isreal?
Chad verified it.
I don’t trust that Turkey.
It’s wierd, but now I’m Hungary…
Czech it out, so am I!
LOOK OUT! IM COVERED IN GERM(s)ANY!
I think we’re all just a little bit Mali-justed.
I’ll skip the meat thanks, and just open a Canada beans.
Kuwait until you see what the chicken looks like. I Bolivia made the right choice.
I would Peruse a few more items, before making my Finnal choice.
I saw meat like this at the store. Iran from it as soon as I saw it.
That;s why I make sure to check the expiration dates before my stomach is Belgian with food.
I’m not going Dubai any of the meat at this store!
I need to find better meat to toss in Japan.
I’ll bring the brown bananas if you’ll bring Japan!
Not more country cognates!
WHY CRUEL WORLD! Dx
*ahem*…
The word you’re looking for is pun. Not a cognate.
Aw…
i was gonna use pun, but it didn’t have a alliteration with country.
*gives Arisonas a calembour*
How about a nice calm glass of cognac?
france that!
(pronounce it fran-cee lol)
thats what she said.
it might just be heavily seasoned … might
Aside from the spoiled food, the label seems to be touting the benfits of “Guaranteed Reduced Quality” instead of Guaranteed Quality at a reduced price. George Carlin, we miss you!
*shudder*
Butcher gotta admit from looking at it, the label isn’t wrong.
You’re right, it does meat the standards.
I will cleave to my conviction of not eating red meat, especially after this picture.
You’re more of a pork fan I assume?
She likes to chop and change.
Depends on the pig farmer *wink*
Hey girl, you got a mighty purty mouth.
*squeals*
Weeeeeeeeeee!
I was recently visiting my stores in central Arkansas and got a little lost. I found myself in a very secluded area and was sure I could hear banjo music playing. I am not sure I have ever taken hairpin turns so fast in my life.
Sometimes you have to lose yourself ‘fore you can find anything.
You found my keys didn’t you?
Actually, dealing with the mess that is California lately Central Arkansas doesn’t sound too bad – outside of that drop your pants and squeal thing.
NWA is the place to be. It is one of the least hit areas during the recession and has one of the highest per capitas in the US because of all the people here for Walmart and Tyson. And we have the Duggars! It’s a win.
It’s beautiful in Arkansas. Motto: “The Natural State”
I’m gonna assume that’s because of the pretty geologic features, flora and fauna and not nudists.
Speaking of meat displays, have you noticed they use CO2, black packaging, and special lights with a blue spectrum to make their meat look sexy at grocery stores?
I believe they use CO.
oopsie.
i make carbon dioxide so maybe i’m just partial to it?
tee hee
thanks AA
*squeezies*
It is indeed beautiful. I go hiking every chance I can.
When you hike in Arkansas, are you in a natural state?
*mischievous grin*
*poke*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
No problem, DitH. I’m a bit of a biology nerd and am familiar with the preference of CO over O2 in hemoglobin.
*squeeze*
Nerds are sexy!
Actually pork is a red meat. It’s an advertising thing. I once mentioned pork being a white meat to my hospital dietician once and nearly got my head bit off.
as opposed to baby the other other white meat. That’s why you buy your own cow and have your own butcher.
Babies taste like chicken! And chickens taste of human!
Wait, was that an Eddie Izzard reference?!? *squeal* AWESOME!
Oo. I did once once too many.
Okay, I’m hungry now
How do they “reduce” the quality?
You really don’t want to know.
They first use it as knee pads, then skid along the shop floor after closing. When they’re done, they repackage it.
That isn’t rubber on the floor buffer.
Spam a lot of HCl into it so it disrupts the placement of ions in the bacon.
Or kill it with fire, dunno.
Many supermarkets take meat that is spoiling and use it in their marked up prepared meals, with plenty of seasoning of course.
Godhooray! That wasn’t a serious question! Stop telling me things I don’t wanna know!
Then I shan’t mention the use of bleach to kill smells and such like. Nope. You couldn’t drag the piece of information out of me. Noway.
Less fat so the meat is less marbled (ie delmonica)?
Or maybe it’s intended to refer to price. Looks tasty, tho.
Albertson’s is bad about taking soon to be unsellable meat, adding some marinade to cover the new color and smell and then labeling it B1G1 like it’s a bargain. It always amazed me they sold so much of it.
If I just scrolled a little further…
Mutton dressed as lamb?
That is so baaa… d.
It just means reduced price. I’ve worked at a grocery store and they do that all the time.
Still wouldn’t buy it, though.
All the reduced meat we sold had gray meat and blood mixed in with it.
Walmart injects their beef with coloring so it has “longer shelf life” and then it is sealed and shipped to the stores in pre-priced packages. So when it is reduced, it is REALLY old. Just one more reason not to shop at Walmart, especially for food.
I won’t even feed my dogs meat from Wal-Mart — old meat yes, Wal-Mart “enhanced” meat — nope, no way!
Reducing meat quality… You might find the answer from http://www.meatscience.org (believe me, thats a real adress…)
Soylent green anyone?
Sweeney Todd’s partnership with the nearby butchers?
No thanks. I’m just not a people person.
The “guaranteed” is a nice touch, as if customers are asking “I don’t know if the meat I’m buying is really a week old and stored in a warm place, so why should I go here?”
Mmm, nothing says cramps than a good old fashioned seal of disapproval.
Mister are you on the menses?
Nossir but the Missus sure is!
Finally, some truth in advertising.
Well, I mean, come on. You can’t expect me to go and scavenge the leftover scraps for this week’s Meat Surprise myself. I got things to do.
“Meat Surprise?” Sounds like something granny offers.
Is that anything like a “Pickle Surprise?”
Shh! That’s next Wednesday’s lunch.
*Pours unknown slop on tray*
Excuse me Agatha but there is a fly on my slop!?
That’s the protein.
What proton? are you nucleoling to me
As opposed to the amateurteen?
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Thank-you.
Win.
After looking at the previous fail mind mind’s innuendo section went to work with “Pickle Surprise?” Sorry. Couldn’t be helped.
…my mind’s…
I need to rest more.
“Pickle Surprise”?
*mind travels back to old fark.com incident involving Lucky Charms….*
**shudders**
Guaranteed! You can’t beat our meat!
You didn’t really have the nerve to say that, did you?
You say that with such tenderness, coyote.
well-aged meat is tastier than meat fresh off the animal.
Hugh Heffner heartily agrees with you.
*Blarrrrgh*
As does Jeffery Dahlmer .
Funny. My sandwich doesn’t taste as good anymore.
Nasty
Kill humans and grow larger =D
*5 eagles pulls out shotgun and kills the zombie Id1dnelnv3nD.* Where in the heck are the zombie killers on this fail blog tonite? I am going to make sure thier pay is deducted.!!
Um…I know ZA doesn’t post much right now, but he might find this rather upsetting if he finds out.
If that is Walmart meat it probably would be better green !
Do you people never shop at the grocery store? It is obviously seasoned with some spices, diced veggies or a rub.
this is like at somerfield where people actully buy the older meat just because it saves them a few pennies. how mental do you have to be to buy something that is old as apose to something fresh.
you mean how poor do you have to be?
btw, that is pepper on the meat.
opposed.
Did you know eagles eat miceses.
In favor.
I am in flavoured too.
thank you little mouse.
Wiiyaas
Must be Wal-Mart brand meat.
Six Sigma fail.
Perhaps grapht was involved.
I’d hit that.
Does EVERYTHING come from China these days? Anpu misses the days when meat contained only 25% rat feces, rat poison, or asbestos. Beef contained so much actual beef back then.
Geez, first time on failblog in at least a year and this is the first thing I see, I am so glad I do not eat red meat. Now I am going back to hibernation. C-Ya.
Wait! *SQUEEZE!!!*
Seriously, you’ve been missed. You can’t just hit and run!
I was spending way too much time on FB while at work and had to either go cold turkey or risk getting fired. And I do not have much time at home. Miss all you guys though. Hopefully I can set aside some times on the weekend to touch base occasionally.
That would be great! Dragon will be sorry that she missed you. I gave her a shout.
I understand the work thing. I’ve cut way back on my work posting, too.
Speaking of DW, I sent a message to her publisher, via Amazon.com, that they should make an ebook version of her book available. Told them I would buy it if they did. It is the only way I can read comfortably anymore, due to the ability to increase the text size.
They also need to push to get them on the shelves more. I was told that I would need to special order them.
It’s good to see you back for a bit. Too many have been saying adios lately.
Thanks. BTW how are you doing? I just followed your link to the “angels” site. I’ve been thinking good thoughts for you all this time, hope they have been working.
They must be working. Recovery is coming along fine. Up to three miles on my walks. How did you hear about it? I didn’t know for sure until around the start of the year.
I think it was about then, I came online for a brief period and sent you my best when I overheard some of the other posts about it.
That is great new, I’ll keep thinking them.
The blog monster ate my reply. When I redid it I was told that I had already posted it. Shall I get really pissed off at it? No. I shall remain on an even keel. I shall try again. Here is my reply.
Why is it that the more pleasant or polite my comment the more likely it is to get eaten?
I had no problem finding them on Amazon. There are bookstores that have them in stock, but you have to deal with the bookseller directly via Amazon.
I never buy anything online. I have no confidence in their security.
Now tell me how this surprises you no end.
Then lookup the bookstore that’s selling them and pack up the horse and ride.
I only buy with a debit card that i keep with a low balance , never with a credit card. That way if my security is compromised they can not take out anymore then I have in my account at that time. Plus I check my account activity 2-3 times a week online, just in case.
.
You are wise to be cautious, there is a lot of risk involved, usually due to the idiots who have control over your personal information. How many times do you read about some loser who had his laptop stolen, his laptop that he keeps other peoples information on? Copies that should never leave the confines of the server room.
.
I take the risk, and do most of my banking and shopping online, but I try to minimize the risk as much as possible.
A few weeks ago my eldest niece got her first checking account. The bank only gave her a card. No checks. Someone promptly stole the needed numbers and over drew the account. The bank gave her some forms and said that they might have a decision on it by mid-December. She never got to use her account. The kicker was the bank told her that if she didn’t pay them the over draft in three days time they would start tacking on a $38 dollar fee daily. It was only over drawn by about $60. Jerks.
I didn’t know you had a vision problem that’s beyond help from reading glasses.
How’s married life treating you? We figured you were too busy in bliss to be on Failblog.
I have bifocals but they just don’t do it for me. I wind up peering over the top of my glasses and squinting while reading. the Kindle has been a goddess-send.
I love being married, or rather, I love being married to my wife. Been married before to someone else, not so great then.
RAELALT!!!
*POUNCE-SQUEEZE-SMOOCH!!*
How wonderful to see you. I’m soooooo glad to hear that you are happy!
Hey!! Good to see you, and glad to see that you haven’t changed your avatar, one of the best evah.
How’s my favorite dragon?
Just ducky, thanks! Life is good.
…And I’ll be adding another tattoo to the gallery soon.
Do we get a preview?
Clickie!
I already have the wolf (right shoulder blade). My friend designed the tree around it.
That is way cool, very classy as well.
Nice DW but the wolf should be bigger and sitting I think. The tree says a lot about you though. In my culture a standing wolf says no direction no path no knowledge which means still seeking. A sitting wolf means listening and taking the time to pass on the teachings singing the words of wisdom. Just my thoughts. For what it is worth to you.
But if the wolf is standing then what does it mean to you DW?
Thanks, Raelalt…I’m very pleased with it. I think my friend did a FANTASTIC job.
Now I just have to find someone to ink it for me!
I thought that your favorite stabber was in Florida.
I liked it DW it suits you. How big will it be 5″ diameter?
Wow…what a memory you have!
Yes it’s true, but it seems a tad extravagant to buy a plane ticket to Ft. Lauderdale just to get a tattoo. :p
My memory is trashed. Odd, useless bits stick.
A plane ticket should be no problem. We all know that college profs coin it.
You are in luck as this is not red meat.
Hah! When you’re right you’re right.
Red meat turning green. I feel that Christmas time glow coming on.
I think that glow you are feeling is called salmonella.
:ick:
it looks pre-seasoned to me. looks phony too.
The. Meat. Is. Not. The. Fail.
The. Label. Is. Funny.
must be running out of official fails–keep looking.
This fail is fail. Beef gets better with age. Am I missing something?
Read the sticker.
What happens now?
Aha.
And now?
Nothing, ok.
What’s this?
The same.
This?
Nothing again.
What are you doing, Arthur?
*squeezies*
Testing some codes.
This one, for example.
…which didn’t do anything.
As opposed to this?
No.
But this one, surely?
Interesting.
This better be classy.
It wasn’t.
But this one is the coolest code ever!
Well…no.
Does this do anything?
No.
But this?
Dammit.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
That’s ridiculous.
Font.
H 1.
H 2.
H 3.
H 4.
H 5.
Nothing works.
Blabla.
Yadda.
Möööp.
Grrr.
Grrr.
Grrr.
Hmmm.
This?
Shalalala.
Span.
Strong.
Dude.
Put down the beer and walk away from your computer very slowly.
We all live…
‘Sup?
Table? That surely won’t do anything.
I knew it.
Harhar.
Komm schon, irgendwas muss doch mal funktionieren.
Manno.
Audi?
BMW?
The last one.
Okay, I’m done. Sorry for spamming.
It looks like you’ve been having a mild conversation with someone who got banned. Maybe you ought to tone up your comments to make it look like a real argument.
Just sayin’
Hehehe! Next time I’ll do that.
*squeeze*
Looks more like his keyboard was having a seizure.
Boooo!
Oops.
Now I have
hee! I’d like to think some bored sales clerk did that on purpose.
Looks like yam to me…apt title.
you yam what you yam?
At least they’re honest…
In Soviet Russia, meat eats you!
In Soviet Russia, quality reduces you!
Reduced quality guaranteed… to reduce quantity sold.
At least this is a honest package!
Maybe hat’s an ‘Honesty Win’
haha, it’s not a fake, we took the picture in the middle of the isle.
it wasn’t walmart it was a Bigway, i’m in whitehorse, YT.
ummm don’t get this from that pic the steak looks like a peppered steak they sell at stores over here in aus. They do pepper and garlic steaks covered in green and red crap.