Friday Rewind: Cop Fail
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FIRST! (or not)
dope!
I think were dead, time goes by really really really slow.
Max Payne
FIRST!
I fail.
Why yes… yes, you do!
you fail!
He’s gonna get high, high, high. …
Ah, the oldies are still the goodies!
Methinks that cop had a few too many goodies…!
He shoulda hasished it over with mary jane prior to picking up the phone.
That little experiment cannabis him in the @ss.
All weed are saying is give pot a chance.
Four twenty run out of booze?
Timecop…doughnuts are a thing of the past.
Isn’t the purpose of smoking pot for things to go really really really slow?
♪She wears high heels♪
♪ I eat brownies…♪
*eats brownies*
OOOoooooOOOOoooh.
You know what comment we’re going to see a lot of now, don’t you?
Munchies?
Nope.
I plan on thwacking the first one to say it though.
Wanna use my personalized pink sparkly bat?
I’m partial to my shellacked mackerel, but thank you kindly!
There’s an excellent example right below (by the appropriately named “DICKWOD”).
Close, really close, but no cigar.
Are you referring to a certain question we get all too often?
*nods head, afraid to give it voice*
be very afraid…
“I don’t know, Brain, but where would we get all those coffee pots”?
DON”T GET STARTED!!!!!
*Stands ready with shellacked mackerel*
I won’t start it. I’ll finish it!
Perfect!
*tosses shamwow from hand to hand*
*readt to assist Avis in clean up*
*repaces t with y*
I’m video impaired. What happened?
Cop calls 911 and tells them he and his wife ate pot-laced brownies and he thinks he and she are both “dying.”
Oh for the love of Bob!! (disgusted)
Thanks LGB.
No problem, 3Bs.
*LOL @ for the love of Bob*
It get’s worse. Bob was our code name for weed back in the day.
I gotta talk to Bob = I need a fat bowl.
I thought it was particularly appropriate.
*snork*
I needed that, 3Bs. Thanks very much.
Have a great weekend!
haha now a days it’s called ice cream and the piece is called a cone!
Yay, I know what I am having for breakfast now. Mmmm waffles.
OMG I THINK WE’RE DYINGZ
*crickets*
My gosh! Is it dead in here, or what?!?
That’s what happens when a regular leaves. It’s sad, but I’m sure there’ll be someone who comes along and takes our mind off of it. No one can replace him, but they can try.
I just read his goodbye note. I had no idea what had happened to the blog, but now I understand.
That’s two we’ve lost now. This one was harder than the last. Hopefully, it will get easier as time goes by…
I know, I’m in shock….
*Squeezes*
Thanks, GS. Got a hanky hand, too?
*squeezes*
*handy*
Do you have to keep your hanky hand strong like your pimp hand?
*handsy*
*poke!*
Who left and where’s the note?
Oh, coyote. Dammit. It’s on the Halloween Costume Win. Brewski quit.
Yes, I know. I feel the same way. Coincidentally, so do a lot of others.
Well, of course we do! But I think I can understand what might be the reason.
Please share, Avis. It’s just unfathomable to me.
(Same goes for WN.)
Brewski has a girlfriend. One who might not have been too thrilled with all the de-pantsing. That, and she might just have wanted to spend more time with him. Or something like that.
You know, I just don’t get that. I wouldn’t ask anyone to give up something that they truly enjoyed and that was a part of their life.
If you have a problem with some aspect of someone’s life, don’t get involved with them. But don’t try to change that person.
I suspect this is exactly what happened with WN, but more like his “sig. other” got pissed because he was being “romantic” with the girls here on FB.
I just thought he was clever and funny and the whole pants thing was a joke. Some peeople are so uptight about any kind of percieved threats.
Insecurity and jealousy have no place in a relationship. Some people never learn that.
Hey now, we DON’T really know what the story is. I was speculating, and maybe I should have been clearer about that. We shouldn’t automatically assume it’s a bad thing.
If such is the case, it wouldn’t be the first time a guy has left because his relationship was impacted in a negative way because of the time spent on FB. I watched it up close and personal and sometimes it is the best thing a person can do if lines start blurring. But again, it may not be the case, but it can easily happen. Look at all the seckzie beeches on here, who could resist?
*Walks in, wearing sunglasses and carrying a towel*
Someone say “beaches?”
Was WN the other who left? I’m sure if I went back far enough in Failblog I could find out but if you could ’splain it would be easier.
Yup. Whoa decided to giddyup.
Maybe he was the one who was uncomfortable with the flirting. Who knows? But it would be unfair to blame either of the significant others. It’s not our lives. It belongs to them.
Some people are ok with flirting, others not. It’s not really up to us to judge the situation. We can speculate, but that’s about it.
Nonono, Avis, not judging. That’s not in me. Just making a life observation and giving my opinion on that topic.
‘nuf said
But my point is, we don’t know, we can’t really have an opinion about something we don’t know enough about. It’s a weird sort of situation. We get to be sad that he’s gone, and that’s really about it. Of course, this is just my opinion.
I mean that I was giving my opinion on a life lesson, not on WN’s or Brewski’s situation. I am not judging anyone, simply providing my opinion on a subject.
But, you’re right, in that we’ll never know what happened.
Well, at least it is SOMETHING…..I felt like someone broke up with me and didn’t tell me why! (ooops, that may add fuel, but you know what I mean)
My husband doesn’t take this kind of “flirting” seriously. Oh well.
Maybe the fake drinking trips some people up.
Fake drinking? You mean you weren’t really drinking all this time?
Umm… neither was I!
*looks innocent, tipsy, but innocent*
We are not as think as you drunk we are!
It’s hard to believe someone would take anything seriously that happens in an open forum like FailBlog. Now, if my boyfriend got in touch with someone outside of this open forum and started corresponding with them regularly and it seemed too familiar, I’d maybe take that seriously.
Everyone was pantsing Brewski and it was a silly running joke. The poking, cuddle puddles, squeezies, smoochies could seem inappropriate, I suppose. That is, until you see it is rather indiscriminate among the regulars here. Some of our stuff does get rather explicit and require mindbleach, but, again, it’s not personal.
It’s always going to be difficult not knowing what we could have done differently or whether it had anything to do with us at all. All I know is it’s sad when FB loses someone clever, intelligent, friendly, and witty.
Exactly, DiTH. My Andrew knows what goes on here. He just “roll”s. But it’s okay, cuz it’s all innocent fun.
I mean,
s.
Well, that’s how he
s.
I don’t believe that it was us at all. FB can take up as much time as you have. Perhaps he felt that there was a choice that had to be made.
A) Chat on Fail blog.
B) Hold his sweet baboo and gaze into her eys.
Hmm. Which would I pick? Hmm.
I’d rather have real hornychat than the roleplay variety.
I am now living overseas with a man I met on FB. I was married when I met him. Now I am not.
So, take it from me, on-line flirting can change your life.
P.S. We are very happy.
So what you’re saying is that Brewski faced a dilemma: giving up on FB or doing the gentleman thing and marry all the women he was flirting with?
And me! I had one or two flirty encounters with him, too.
*takes pulse*
Well, I’m not dead yet!
Maybe Brewski just ate too many brownies!!
Yes you are!
*to others*
Don’t listen to her!
I don’t want to go on the cart.
Yes you do!
(I don’t really remember all the lines)
I think I’ll take a walk.
(ht tp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes)
You’re not fooling anybody.
I feel happy…
I feel happy…
*squeeze*
I was in that studio when it happened. I had to try so hard trying not to laugh.
Amazing that video ended up here.
So that was you who snorted?
and what DID you snort, exactly?
He could fill out that survey on drug side effects!
ALL of the side effects!
Prezactly!
*squeeze*
*squeeze!*
If I hand over the shellacked mackerel, will you thwack the first offender? I have to go clean a different apartment now. Mine. Before I go to Rooster’s.
I’m off to my commute in a few minutes, but I’ll pop back in to handle any trolls that haven’t been taken care of. Enjoy your evening!
Thank you!
*hands over shellacked mackerel*
Hey did I miss the cuddle puddle, sorry time was going really reallly really really ssssssllllllllooooooooowww.
Well, someone brought brownies to the cuddle puddle and the rest is all muddled….
Hey Eagles!! The cuddle puddle has been fail jumping. It’s still stuck in the last fail. Hang on, I’ll get it for you.
*grunting* *dragging noises*
Puddle on Dude!!
Drinks are on the ledge. All toxins have been removed.
BbB-how will we get in TOXIC ated then??
Booz Zooomz. Booz. Lots and lots of it.
and maybe some brownies. ;p
definitely some brownies
You are the most awesome BBB. thnaks *squeeze*. and one for you to zoomz.
Well, work is almost done for the day and I’m going to leave for now. See you on Monday.
*weekendsqueezestoall*
*squeeze*
g’night, Gracie.
*goodnightsqueezes*
Did Gracie just say goodnight?
fancy that!
‘night gracie
nighty night Gracie.
Say good nite 5 eagles. nite gracie.
I think there might have been something in that marijuana.
Pharmacophobia – fear of drugs.
They have a pill now to treat that.
Iatrophobia – fear of going to the doctor.
LGB?
*inches up and clutches at LGB’s skirts*
Please don’t leave any time soon, ok? I don’t think I could take it. You helped me find my avatar. I don’t think I would recognize myself without you.
*feeling fragile and phobic about being abandoned*
You’re so sweet, 3Bs.
I am not going anywhere, k? I’m staying right here because this is where I belong. These wonderful people — including YOU — keep me sane, engaged, enthusiastic, and sharp. My marriage — hell, my life — is better for having found this wonderful community.
As long as I have a computer, a keyboard, and half a mind, I will be here.
*SUPERHUGESQUEEZETOLITTLEGIRLBLUE*
You’re name may be little, but your heart is HUGE!!
Adore you lady.
BTW – check my response on Bob. I’m particularly proud of how that managed to work out.
LGBabadonphobia: Fear of losing Little Girl Blue
*snorkzooomy*
I have LGBabandonphobia. Please don’t ever ever go LGB. Unless i get to go first. K?
*squeezies*
I’m feeling much better…
How would you get treated for that? If you make an appointment you’re cured!
Amaxophobia – fear of riding in a car.
Couldn’t get to the appointment…
AMCophobia – fear of riding in a small car.
Microphobia – fear of small things.
♫Short people are just the same as you and I♫
Melophobia – fear or hatred of music.
Fear of music? Let me make a note of that.
♫
There. All done.
How do you get musical notes (sheepishly admitting ignorance of such things) I barely mastered moticons today.
I just copy-paste them. But then I usually have to look back to some earlier fail to find someone using them.
If you have a PC go to the character map. It’s in the the control panel I think. I use it so much that I put it on the rapid launch tool bar.
You can type charmap into the search/run bar on the start menu. It’ll be quicker.
I use this link, Mama:
ht tp://www.tedmontgomery.com/tutorial/altchrc.html
GS told me about it.
http://www.usefulshortcuts.com is another one.
Hold down Alt an type 14 on the number pad.
Thank-you LGB. I’ve bookmarked it.
snork kitty!!
Awwwww, isn’t he cute?
*gently pets snore kitty so as not to wake*
prrrrrrrrrrrrr
Yep, that sounds about right.
My work day has ended and I’ll be leaving soon.
*squeezes and happy thought to all the peeps*
See you soon thx for the warm welcome.
Criminal desserts.
Just desserts.
I’m sorry, but you can’t have just desserts. You need to finish the rest of your dinner first. And don’t forget the lima beans.
No, no, no! And you can’t make me, either.
*folds arms*
*stamps foot*
How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
Stand still with it!
But every diet needs a little wiggle room
*addresses foot and puts in mail box*
Where are you sending me?
Soledad. Where else would a send a foot?
Leggtown?
Toebago?
Turkey Foot?
Sorry. This one’s better:
Bootleg?
Marathon?
Bowlegs?
Thighmopyleg?
The Gateway Arch in St. Lois.
Pedostreet?
Toeledo?
So what did I miss? Someone hand me a drink and fire up the bubbles. *Slides into cuddlepuddle hot tub*
Did he die?
*flees*
*tickle tickle*
*swings the mackerel*
*misses completely, spinning self around*
Hooray!
Hehehe
Couldn’t help myself. Poor impulse control.
There is a severe sadness here. Let us lift our glasses and drink to Brewski and his pants and hope that he finds his way back some day!
hehehe — I first read this as “hope he finds his pants some day”!
*To Brewski*
That keeps happening but I’ll take unintentionally funny any time.
Yup. Me, too.
Some of my best laughs are unintentional I once angrily asked my spouse when he was getting in the dishwasher when i meant shower because I was waiting to run it.
to me this has win written all over it!
shouldn’t have eaten that second one.. xD
I lol’d at “I think we’re dead”
Did they die?
of course not. there’s not a single medically diagnosed case of marijuana overdose, EVER. it doesn’t happen.
If the pot don’t kill ya, the carbon monoxide will.
Believe me, overdoses do happen. They’re just not fatal.
a cop making pot brownies??? this was full of WIN, not fail.
until the 911 call. fail for not having a high tolerance.
It may look like the chic thing to do at the moment but I think my time on the blog also has come to an end.
I am going to miss all the fun loving times I have had here from the pre-tornado bar-b-cues to our Friday Cuddles.
I have reasons for this that I wish to reserve but I must say that this blog has changed me for the better in so many ways and I want to thank you all for this.
I considered just slinking away, but remembered that I always ask what happened to this person or that one. So I want to provide this closure. Thanks for the memories, the love the support and for following me in my pool and tornado sagas.
In order to prevent the list syndrome I love you all and want you to continue as you do, with sharp wit, soft words and loving hearts.
-Emperor, Tetragrammatron Cleric, Captain Teague.
aka Fab.
Take care of yourself, Emperor!
I remember you and will always remember you. I gave you the name EMP electrical magnetic Pulse which you where to me. Meegwetch(thank you) for being nice to me on here, it goes along way brother. Karma. May your new journey bring great things and love and light. stay well.
You will be missed
Muskrat who cares for the fire
Take care of yourself Emperor, the blog won’t we the same without you either.
Man great scott brewski now EMP who next? hold me? I so sad.
You know 5eags, that when I first read your comment, I thought you meant that Great Scott, Brewski, and EMP are gone. Then it hit me what you were trying to say. Man, we are losing people here very fast.
Oh, say it ain’t so! ‘Twas always a pleasure to read your comments. (Had a “Fab” time reading ‘em
) We’ll leave a lawn chair out for you during the wasteland hours in case of a return.
Crap. Could you let us know when the state of the housing is resolved?
You have saddened me. But I know where to find you!!!
Ms B?
damn… this blog is supposed to be about funny things. Instead, it’s becoming… what’s the word I am looking for?
A duck.
HAHAHA!
…
Wait. Arthur?
Yes?
No, not you, the Arthur with Aja’s avatar.
(Although I want to take the opportunity to tell you: NEVER leave failblog! Thanks)
While we’re at it: If you try to quit I will come to Belgium and beat the crap out of you!
*squeeze*
If you do that, I’ll open the sluices of the Iser.
*squeeze*
It will be two on one Czuhc, I will help AE LOL.
Take care, Emp.
He’s not really gone. He went to the place where you daren’t come.
A Brazilian favela?
A Mexican novela?
A British umbrela?
A Spanish zarzuela?
A Fitzgerald ela?
A Fonda barbarella?
At this rate, there won’t be anyone but trolls on failblog!!! But seriously, take care.
lol 420 votes, classic
I have had the worst day ever and this freaking made my night. My day has gone by really, really, really, really slow . . . maybe if I have some brownies it’ll change things for the better.
Bad idea. That would make time stop completely.
Or make him really, really hungry.
Time is going really really really slow! Ahhhhaahahaha.
They smell and one has a bulbous nose.
Bwahahahaha.
You can’t OD on pot.
Though in all fairness, I did once smoke so much I felt like my chest was going to collapse. So I think I know what he was feeling.
The best thing is that this is the local news for me <3 Q13 Fox and Komo= epic win!
Are you in western Washington too?
High five! Me too! I wish I would’ve seen it when it aired, haha.
THUMBS FAIL: on the vote page it says to click on the thumbs to vote – where are they??!!
They are in between the title of the fail and the brown rectangle that says Add to Favorites.
*adds Coyote to favorites*
Did you see that Emp is leaving too?
*saddens*
I hope we don’t lose any more friends….
Oops! We were playing role-switch earlier!
Of course, I’m sure Ms B feels the same way. We all do.
Extra fail for 911 operators who always seem to ask pointless questions on tapes like this. “Do you guys have fever or anything?”
New to FAILblog “dot org!” . Confused. The voting instructions say:
“Vote by Clicking on the Thumbs.
Vote thumbs up if you want to see it on the homepage, thumbs down if you dont.”
But there are no “thumbs up” icons. Popular fail seems to have 5 thumbs down. the 5th thumb hover says ” excellent”.
So … lots of thumbs down is “excellent?” (Romanish?)
Yes. You’re voting for a fail, so lots of thumbs down means it fails hard, which in this case is a good thing.
In this land of twisted minds good is evil and evil is good. Which makes good good since it is evil which is good. That means that evil is evil too.
I hope that this clears everything up for you.
*brain circuitry overloads*
…muh?
I wonder if those guys who ate the brownies know they are being made fun of. I mean, do they take their permission or is free to air?
*downloads Nita’s avatar and uses it to make a huge billboard ad for BMWs*
You know, without her permission…but still a WIN!
Disgusted!!! Not surprised, though.
Why does the news reporter squeal like a pig?
snort snort
Grunt Grunt
You two seem to get along quite well.
And this person was a cop… For How Long? I wonder if he knew that cops are definitely not supposed to be doing the drugs they confiscate.
Nice snort at the end
What’s funny bout that? don’t understand.
a friend of mine did the same.
as we had marijuana, he made us call the rescue, because he was “dying”. they came and picked him up. few hours later he was back clear.
consume isn’t illegal here.
why fail?
A cop calling 911 on himself because he was too high? That is stone-cold hilarious. The tone of his voice, his diction, the news reporters reaction… all funny. I think this is probably my favorite video I’ve ever seen on the internet.
His Name is max Payne
[Max is still hallucinating on Valkyr Brownies, and encounters the same note as before]
[the note reads] You’re on Fail Blog, Max.
Max Payne: The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Satirically Comments on my Idiocy, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. the repetitious act of Calling, time slowing down to show off my fail. The paranoid feeling of someone reading my every fail. I was on failblog. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.
I think we’re dead lol
Its hilarious how the newspeople are cracking up in the backround,,
damn, i’d say that the cop must have eaten a truckload of pot brownies…
to overdose by smoking, you’d need to smoke 4 pounds of pure mariuhana..
eating? well, let’s just say he’d needed to have eaten a s**tload of brownies before then…. so either that cop can’t take the buzz or he has an, as of yet, unheard of stomach capacity
you can NOT overdose on marijuana.. not even 4 pounds or more..
“I think we’re dead.” That was hilarious.
No more drugs for those two.
Did everyone miss the snort at :43??
We’ve all been there.
Nice one, hehehehehe
I love it when reporters can’t handle urge to laugh 
Really really really really slow!!
)