News Anchor Fail
Video by: Christopher H
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What quarrel does he have with the people living on islands off the Greek mainland?
Ok, what does the vid say? For those of us with blocked or recalcitrant computers!
A news anchor flubs the word Lebanese in a sentence similar to this:
“A Hezbollah leader condemns attacks by Israel on lesbians err
Lebanese.”
Freudian slip?
For all the
pink dollarsmoney these anchors make, you’d think they wouldn’t make these slips.Then it was on purpose *shakes fist at anchor*
Not another krona for you, bub! *shakes Swedish fist at anchor*
*snorkroffle!*
roflsnork?
News anchor says “lesbians” instead of “Lebanon” (corrects himself, but too late, of course).
he accidenty the news report
the WHOLE
The WHOLE news report?
flopculture
I knew that opening comment wouldn’t go anywhere…
Are you suggesting comments migrate?
It’s not as if they even have a husk for a swallow to them by.
*stares at previous comment*
OK. Who stole my “grip”? Own up, now, or I’ll call the poice.
That would be a key grip for that sentence.
*looks guilty*
Hey, someone told me to get a grip, so I DID!
*hands it back to Luminous*
DONT BOMB THE LESBIANS!!
thoid
sorry!!
*runs away with quickness*
THIS
IS
LESBOS!
Did you know that the Lesbians – the people from Lesbos – recently sued to make sure that in the future the term “Lesbians” is used only in reference to them, the people from Lesbos? They lost.
I knew that, but didn’t know the suit had concluded.
Do you know who was sued? I have no idea.
That was my question. Who the hell would they sue? Every other person on the planet?
Unlikely; they’re Greek, not American.
And just what are you implying?? HMMM??
Slander! Libel!! I’m going to sue your ass for insulting Americans!!
$10 million in damages should suffice if you’d like to settle out of court. Legal fees will be about twice that anyway.
*considers suing the pants off Brewski*
*remembers that he doesn’t have them on*
*walks away whistling*
yeah, I only knew that because of the Colbert Report. Greek Courts are the 3rd biggest threat to America, after bears and John McCain.
I’ve seen a few bombed lesbians on Capitol Hill in Seattle.
…and after only one Brewski.
*snerk*
Brewski was hanging out with a bunch of drunk lesbians in Seattle? KEWL! I want pics!
Well, I’ve been barhopping on Broadway before. Being a straight male, I’m a minority in many of the bars around there.
Back in college, a friend of mine about got his ass kicked in a bar that wasn’t too welcoming to his gender (he was the only male in a crowded bar). But he can be an ass sometimes, so an ass-kicking would likely have been warranted.
Wait, I’m not the only failer in Seattle, am I?
I’m up in Lynnwood. Close enough?
Since Brewski seems to have left for a while, I’ll answer for him (and not leave you hanging). He used to live in that area, but now lives near Boston.
aww i wanted to be the first comment
I am very sorry about that.
play nice Ms B. LOL.
Nah, I agree with Ms B wholeheartedly.
LOL- lots of lesbians.
*ignores the fail*
*goes straight for the velvet cheer*
*makes with the confetti throwin’*
WOOTY-WOOT FOR VELVET!!!
*pops champagne*
I’ll see that “WOOTY-WOOT!” and raise you a YEE-HAW!
*releases helium balloons*
*GLUG-GULP*
¡ʇooʍ-ʎʇooʍ
Yay me!
.
*Italian squeeze*
That’s a squeeze I can’t refuse.
*squeeze*
Yay! Thought we would have a revolution on our hands if you didn’t show up!
*Czech squeeze*
YAY! Velvet showed up!
*Germanic-Irish squeeeze!*
Woo hoo!
*Bohemian squeeze*
Woot!
*American squeeze*
Top show, what!
*British squeeze*
I have been arguing with an ‘attorney’ (and I use that term loosely because a law degree does not an attorney make) for 2 days now.
.
He keeps referring to a contract in 2002 that was SUPERSEDED by a new contract in 2006. He refuses to accept this as fact. Thoughts on how to get it through his THICK skull that the 2002 contract is nothing more than kindling? ARGH!
.
Ok, enough of that. Let’s celebrate my powering!
.
*hands everyone a chocolate chip cookie*
I’m guessing he doesn’t know what “superseded” means. Maybe explain it in terms of “Old contract went bye-bye…now we have a nice, shiny, NEW contract! See? See the nice new contract??”
*noms on cookie* MMMmmmm!
You could set a copy of the old contract on fire the next time you meet him, and hand him a copy of the 2006 contract with highlighted sections and post-it notes explaining that it is the only valid contract active right now… make sure to use crayons, too.
You could say, “It’s like when the NEW lawyer replaces the OLD lawyer, we don’t need the OLD lawyer at all any more.”
*nods*
Sparkly crayons.
Oooooh! I’ve got a box of them right here! And they’re the big ones too, so you’ll have to write nice and big so they can read it.
“News Anchors fail a LOT!”
*wipes tear*
So profound! So true!!
*toasts velvet*
*squeezes failfriends*
*wakes up to celebrate*
*decorates FB with shiny/glittery stuff*
WOOHUUUUU VELVET!!!!!!
Woop woop for Velvet!
(again, not that I’m jealous or anything)
Jealous that FB plays favorites? You know, it sucks to be the middle child. You know my mother doesn’t love me as much as my younger and older sister. You know. You can feeeeeeeeeeel it.
Okay…I am over it now.
*I didn’t accidenty
*
yaaaa Leila we need to talk about that deep seeded resentment of lack of love you feel or not feel. How do you feel on your birthday or your older siblings birthday the same??? or not. Do you keep track how much your mom and dad spend on gifts compared to you. If love comes in a box what colour is yours?.
whoow got that out too.
deep seeded?
me thinks it is deep seated
btw
Best to just walk away zooomz.
Put the seed down?
Else you will deeply regret it.
*joins the failfriend squeeze-a-thon*
That’s it for me, kids. It’s crazy here today, and I can’t stay and play. I trust one of my minions will use the E.T. finger wisely until I get some work done and can return!
Somebody give Velvet a supah-squeeze for me when she gets here? Tanks!
Aw, but I just got here!
Very well, then.
*washes, sterilizes, c0cks and loads E.T. Finger*
Thank goodness you know how to use punctuation correctly!
*snork!*
I almost went off half-c0cked.
ROFL!!
I kinda wish he left that comma off MRN. It is Brewski afterall.
Sure, doesn’t sound as painful to you as it does to me.
… Although a good Purell scrubbing….
No! Musn’t have these thoughts!
I would ask for a re-design if I were you.
The cantilever design can be quite effective when employed properly.
*nods*
But, one must pay careful attention to the bending moment.
In this case, stress is caused by lack of use.
Depending the length and diameter of the lever arm and the material characteristics, one is likely to have a failure in tension rather then shear.
*takes notes*
*fans self with notebook*
*beams*
*takes Gracie’s notebook*
*makes a note it in*
*gives it back to her*
*giggles*
What? I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold!
*reads Dragon’s note*
*faints*
*squeezes failfriends*
*sets up bubble machine for Velvet*
*squeezes Gracie’s balloon*
*giggles*
*gooses Brewski’s bottle*
OMG!!!
Is that allowed here?
*goes to check FB manual*
pffftt! It’s not even 12 ounces.
I hear size doesn’t matter.
You really aren’t assimilating into the Texas culture, are you?
They do NOT have culture here. I reject everything and anything that is texas.
*pants heavily*
Where is WN? I need a shot of Cabo.
What do you mean they don’t have culture? Have you seen the artwork on some of those gigantic belt buckles?
*weeps silently*
Why MRN? Why are you doing this to me. I thought you were my friend.
*puts head on MRN’s shoulder and continues to cry even after pinching his cheek*
I’m just trying to
get you to hold me tightercheer you up by joking about it.I drove through the northern Texas once. The only thing I saw for 8 hours was cattle pastures, cotton fields, and the town of Lubbock.
I was not impressed.
I had a car like that once.
(Old Texas joke, ah, yup.)
I went to a conference in Lubbock once. I seriously thought it was one of the armpits of the nation.
(The other is Bakersfield, CA.)
Correction: Armpit of America: Terre Haute, Indiana. Believe me, it smells like it too >.<
*beams in*
*replaces Gracie’s “gooses” with “spins”*
*frames with thumb and forefingers*
Nice!
*beams out*
Oooohhh… I’m dizzy.
Um… who am I pointed towards?
Surprise!
(Oh, oh, I left him speechless. Work probably never seemed like such a good distraction before.)
(Maybe it wasn’t you, MRN. Maybe he saw me set up the video camera.)
*points to camera*
*kisses MRN*
*runs away giggling*
Acccckkk! Now I can never go back to computer programming! I’ve truly become a waiter!
*films kiss*
Hee hee!
No!!! If the kitchen staff ever sees that my ticket times will double!
Do you think they know where Dragon’s shop is?
It’s a restaurant – if it has anything to do with sex, drugs, or alcohol, they know where it is.
Do you know how much they’ll snicker when I say something like, “I’m waiting for a large sausage, where is it?”
Probably about as much as I am right now?
*squeezegrope*
Order up! 2 buns and one large sausage!
How many forefingers am I holding up Mr. Scott?
Ummmmm…. four?
That’s quite enough Saurian brandy for you.
*raises hand*
I’ll take his share!
Darnitalltaheck! HI wash jusht abou’ t’ ope’ the Romulan Ale too.
*puts head on table, snores*
Oooo. Well, let’s not disappoint him.
*pops open Romulan ale*
Scotty, the good Admiral just cut you off from the brandy. Didn’t say anything about the Romulan Ale. Open ‘er up!
*glug glug glug*
You snooze, you lose.
*puts one of Scotty’s own Snorekitty™ strips on his nose*
*wakes, takes tiny Snorekitty™ strip off of nose*
*
Bleah, anybody got some water and aspirin?
Why is everybody shouting?
*puts on Dark
*Salutes Velvet*
*holds “POWERED BY” parade for velvet, with floats, fireworks, and a flyby*
Woohoo! Congrats Velvet!
*passes around sparklers*
*squeezes all the celebrators*
Oooooh! Sparklers!
*grabs sparkler and runs around waving wand frantically*
Look! It makes a pretty picture!
Ms B. Wait! Watch out for that …
*winces*
…too late.
*grabs fire extinguisher*
*looks at PICTURE of fire extinguisher*
agrees with Leila–too late
Ah man! There goes the hair again. Too bad I can’t blame it on Dragon this time.
They make lovely hats just for such occasions. Besides, I am sure it’s pretty cold in Utah right about now.
I will knit you a scarf to match your hat if you want.
Make it blue, Leila. It’s the new pink.
FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!!
*runs around screaming*
*dials 3333*
Ah, that look suits you just fine, Ms B! And just think how much you’ll save on haircuts!
Besides, it suits you to a “B”.
Awww, shucks.
Heeeheheheheheh he said lesbians…
Let’s try that again:
Pssst Gracie I can’t read that small type old age I think. Something about taking out skeleton and replacing it with something Christmasy?
Not Christmas-y. Harvest-y. Specifically, a cornucopia.
*swaps 5 eagles’ plastic skeleton for a cornucopia*
Labrador lesbian what?
Leviathan libation what?
Two lesbians plus a fifth of Jack.
It was COLLEGE!!! Don’t you judge me.
So, I see that we haven’t scared you off BBB.
Not even close Leila. Just ducking out on the weekends.
Good choice. Now, may we interest you in an avatar? Go to gravatar.com, k?
*snork!*
Lackadaisical Locutions what?
Ludicrous language, FTW!
Ludicrous speed! NOW!
They’ve gone PLAID!!!
Dead men don’t wear plaid.
He’s no longer wearing plaid, Jim.
He’s dead, Jim. You check his tricorder, I’ll get his wallet.
DAMMIT JIM, I’m a doctor, not a technophile!
Butterscotch!
Scotch whiskey!
Whisky in the Jar?
Jar Jar….
No, I can’t do it!
A tiny jar in a jar?
*binks MRN on the nose*
A nose for news.
Do you really need to ask how much more incoherent this can get? We go Spaceballs here, last thread went Monty Python…
Surely you didn’t miss the Airplane references?
I do, but don’t call me Shirley.
Sorry, I picked a bad week to give up sniffing glue.
Who needs glue when you have FB?
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
What’s our vector, Victor?
LAST!
But for how long?
Just like that *snap* LAST! you are no more.
And the Lord said: “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”
And the Lord laugh-eth.
Did he really?
*checks the Bible*
*looks over BFF’s shoulder*
Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed You; what shall we have therefore?
Did everybody remember to vote today?
Ummm vote for what?? Cloral …you for the best person alive …then I did vote.
I voted “No” … I think…
For me it was obvious to vote “No” so I did vote “Yes”.
I voted “Maybe.” At least, I thought I did.
*abstains*
unlikely
*snork*
double :-p
That doesn’t make it untrue!
*ducks*
*gooses*
*ET Fingers*
*child predator hands*
*whips out Kevlar underwear*
Better safe than sorry, I say!
That Kevlar underwear would have afforded more protection if you had left it where it was!
*beams in*
*whips out Tide® To Go pen, cleans the ab stain*
There ya go Brewski!
*beams out*
*wonders if Scotty’s transporter is malfunctioning again*
Scotty… you left your socks behind…
*steals socks*
*runs away giggling*
*chases after Ms B*
Give those back! They’re special Federation issue socks!
Um, Scott, that wasn’t a Tide® Pen, that was a Sharpie® permanent marker! And you marked on my face, not my abs!!
I guess I’ll take advantage of the mistake and go rob an apartment.
*snerk*
he fapped to lesbian porn during his break
He flapped to thermal currents during his flight
Yeah, that explains eveything and nothing at the same time.
Again? That’s it, from now on, I am communicating in sign language…
…starting now.
You wanna do what to Brewski?!?!?
Well, if you really wanna know, I just thought about…
*whispers in Ms B’s ears*
Hey all! Busy day at work. What’s up?
*opens Brewski’s fortune cookie*
“Watch out for vegetarians bearing turkey basters today.”
*roffle!*
(On a side note: my kiddywinks now use the words “snork” and “roffle” on an almost everyday basis.)
Are they here too? I sometimes have to fight the urge to say “squeeze” to my gf…
They’ve read over my shoulder a time or two when I was here on a weekend. (Can’t seem to get on my “borrowed” internet lately. Meh.)
Oh my, you’re corrupting them at such an early age!! Oh, the humanity!!
According to my family, I’ve already corrupted them! (They like Def Leppard as much as I do.)
*opens Dragon’s fortune cookie*
“Don’t reject the squeeze or Arthur will be pissed.”
*squeeze*
*accepts*
*opens Arthur’s fortune cookie*
“You will ride a BMW in the end.”
*squeeze*
Wait… you didn’t mean the donkey, right?
*resists making an ass joke*
I will ride an ass in the end? Hmmm. Either jail, or anal sex. Let’s see.
Blame the cookie.
Don’t call me cookie!
I got a fortune once that said “You will have nice pant”
didn’t know they knew I knew Brewski….
Biscuit.
That’s better.
*squeeze*
the cookie is a LIE
My brother once got a fortune cookie that said, “May the butterflies of delight fly up you tonight.”
Did they fly up his tonight?
I once got a fortune cookie that was blank.
It would be interesting if all fortune cookies went blank on 12/whatever/2012.
do do do do do do do do
(lame attempt at Twilight Zone music….)
I once got a fortune cookie that said, “What will happen will happen.”
…AND???
Did it happen?
I heard that Leila!!!
RUN BREWSKI!!!!!
Besides, I think that’s an illegal use of whip cream.
Only in Wisconsin – still a felony there.
Thank Heaven for that!! My teenage daughter lives in Wisconsin.
Remember, when whipped cream is outlawed, only outlaws will have whipped cream.
They said the same thing about beer and jeans…
Well, I could probably go for weeks without jeans.
We know Brewski could go for weeks without
pantsjeans.Could? He already does.
I happen to have remained fully clothed all day, I’ll have you know.
*looks around nervously*
*runs and hides*
*whispers*
Who are we hiding from?
*steals Brewski’s pants and runs away*
AARRRGGHH!!!
Of all the hiding places, I pick the one with Gracie!
*chases after Gracie*
*chases after Brewski, and puts on the “Benny Hill” theme tune*
*giggles and waves pants at Brewski*
You can’t catch me!
*runs some more*
*hops on donkey*
*fastens “BMW” logo to front*
*shifts into high-gear for pursuit*
*swipes PT’s rollerblades*
*glides away effortlessly, still waving pants*
Neener nee!
*unloads cases of whip cream, poster board, sharpies and duct tape from pickup truck*
Where did you want these Leila?
Apply directly to the forehead!!
If you say so…
*drops arm load of stuff on BBB’s forehead*
Medic!
*wheels in mini bar*
Somebody call?
Thank goodness! It was almost too late! I’m feeling like I’m sobering up!
*grabs a brew from mini-bar*
Thank you doctor!
Meh. Anpu has no need for lesbians anyway. They’re for women and men who prefer spectating. Anpu is no spectator.
Who’s Anpu?
Do we really wanna know?
No. We definitely don’t want to know. No siree.
.
*grabs capt. awesome by the collar*
ALRIGHT, WHO IS HE, BUB? WHO IS HE?!
Anpu is the source of all that is awesome. When man had just mastered the use of fire and pointy rocks, Anpu was listening to Led Zeppelin. While your average cheer leader’s body is hidden from view like some sin against God, Anpu’s cheer leaders (all female) were sporting nothing but see-through uniforms. While man had to suffer through the unholy triforce of country music, hip hop, people who won’t shut up in movie theatres, and Zelda cd-i games (those games are so unholy, they don’t even count as an entire anything), Anpu was standing in front of his throne of awesomeness, taking heavy metal to new extremes while surrounded by his semi-nude harem.
In other words, he’s more awesome than you. Bow down before his awesomeness.
There’s a reason it’s called “Faux News.” Well, apparently now there are two reasons.
Indeed. That’s why I only watch FOX.
On a TV BOX.
Eating bagels and Lox
Wearing nothing but SOX.
Fox in socks, on Knox in box.
Puts lock-x on Fox in socks, on Knox in box.
Nothing like a little Lebanese on Lebanese action.
Are you Johnny Appleseed’s lesser known brother?
The twin mattress?
*mutters angrily to self*
Darned computer! Not wanting to work for me today!
Not loading FailBlog properly! And it’s the only site the dratted computer has a problem with!
Grrrrrrr!
*hands Avis a sledgehammer*
Here. Fix it with this.
Apply directly to motherboard.
Why are we always after the mother. Try the fatherboard for once. He is equally as responsible.
This is all so politically incorrect! How about parentboard? That sounds much less offensive!
The apple store has a special name for their own version of a motherboard, I forget what it is though. When I took in my laptop they used the term for it and I had to ask them what that was. Clearly it made an impact. *shakes head*
Don’t tempt me!! Nearly every time the darned thing has to re-load a page, or go to a specific comment, or go from one fail to the next, it screws up. After posting this comment it will probably have issues again it’ll take me ages to get to see any of the comments again.
No other site is affected, and I’ve tried clearing the history and the cache. Any ideas?
My advice to you is to drink heavily.
I think she’s looking for specific advice, not just tips for life in general.
Think globally, act locally.
Think globally, drink locally.
Think globally, drink heavily.
Drink heavily, think minimally.
Think minimally, talk endlessly
Paris Hilton? Is that you?
(Sorry to break the pun-run.)
No, that would be think minimally, talk incoherently…
*snerk*
Sounds like my step-mother. You know the phrase “still waters run deep”? She’s sorta the opposite, as in “shallow brooks are noisy”.
*drinks heavily*
*falls over*
Howzat?
*is drinking LOTS of fluids*
I HATE getting colds.
Oh no! You didn’t get sick on your big trip, did you?
*sniffles*
Tank you!
And Ms B, Rooster was super helpful! He would get up to get stuff I needed, bring me tea, and tissues! I think I’m the baby when it comes to being sick!
Lucky. Seriously, I don’t know how I got over this thing with the little rest I got. Someone had to stay up and take care of the kiddos, and that happened to be me. Blurgh.
Next time, you tell him the two of you get to sleep in shifts. Whoever is sleeping, doesn’t have to take care of the kids. And you only get to sleep for so long in a shift. That or threaten to go elsewhere for the duration of your cold, leaving him sick, and having to take care of the kids.
I did. My hostess was so kind and generous to share it with US. But it was bound to happen anyway. Rooster and got to spend a bit more quality time than we expected together. He only left here about an hour or two ago. I gotta say, it’s a bit… different being sick with someone!
Pffft! Men are such babies when they’re sick. I had to work twice as hard when the hubby got sick, and continue to do so while I was sick too.
Computer, pumpkin pie, warm, with some whipped cream.
I’m not bitter about it, not at all.
We can tell.
*pats Ms B’s shoulder consolingly*
*special Ms B squeezies*
Oops. I squozed your punkin pie. Sowwy!
Speaking of pumpkin pie (smooth eh), a few days ago someone asked for a recipe for same. Can’t remember who. Sorry. Memory is shot. Have you, if you’re reading this, tried it? How did it turn out?
What are you talking about. I know how to do laundry.
Use your wife’s thongs.
Just say no to butt floss.
Have you ever tried Golden Seal? I recommend the powdered root. You mix it with hot water and drink it that way. Nastiest tasting stuff on the planet, but it’ll cure you fast!
I’ll mention it to Mama Bird when she goes to the store to get me supplies. She is SOOOOOOO kind when I’m sick!
(I am a little afraid of that last part of your comment though.)
Try, gargling and snorting salt water. (Thats right, snorting it)
It sounds crazy, but it actually works. Something about the salt water kills the virus.
I can barely breathe through my nose, let alone snort through it.
Although, I did have to pick up those breathe-right strips for Rooster AND myself this weekend. Apparently we snore opposite each other and we wake each other up…. when we have colds.
*snore-k*
I can’t live without those when I’m all stuffed up. I was excited to find that they have mentholated ones, for extra breathing power!
She may need to go to the health food store for the Golden Seal. I have to have my mom bring it up from Vegas periodically. Podunk, NE is too small to carry such newfangled things as Golden Seal.
But Whole Foods might have it, as might Trader Joe’s. Of course, everything else need cannot be purchased at either of those two stores.
Ok, not everythingelse. Just the soup, and the Puffs with aloe, and the diet soda (with splenda AND caffeine).
If it’s any consolation, I’m having the same trouble every time I try to reload the site… is it possible that FB’s server’s aren’t load balanced correctly and FB itself is failing?
That would totally SUCK!
I have noticed that when it does work ALL the adds are for that teeth whitening scam/deal thing. I’ll be testing to see if that’s the only time it works. In the meantime, because this computer won’t let me do it, could someone send a message to the Powers That Be? Because if it is on their end, they should know. Yes, I’ll be having this computer looked at/fixed soon.
Well, it only loads the page properly if all three of the top ads are for the teeth stuff. Interesting. And by interesting I mean annoying.
*nods in agreement*
The page is so heavily loaded with sh*t that mine often freezes during a refresh and I have to go to my task manager to close it.
I wish FB did its own refresh.
Firefox. Adblock. Done.
My mac will not run this site (pretty much at all) with Firefox. I cannot figure out why.
Since I’m here you complain about your computer. About now you should be ready to steal one…
*drive-by SKA-WEEEEEZE!*
I think this is the second computer she’s complaining about, or did the first one get fixed?
*double steal squeeze*
Wait… She complained about her first computer, then bought a new computer to complain about? That sounds… economy-friendly, to put it in a friendly term.
*SQUEEZE!*
This is my step-fathers computer. And it’s older than mine!
The data from mine is going into this one and the Steps info goes into yet a different one (we already have all these computers, 4 for three of us) PLUS a data transfer from a dropped external hard drive to a new one. The problem has been coordinating all this stuff.
Computer technology makes our life oh so much easier and less complicated.
I’m on a mac too but using Safari. It was a bit slow to reload the page some hours ago but since then it seems to have been fine.
There is Adbloc for Safari. It makes the page load much quicker.
A problem you can sink your teeth into.
I got a couple hijacks from FB today. The virus software blocked them.
I have seen that too. Must be one of the adds they have is corrupt.
My work computer virus scanner is not as good as my home one so I have to be ever vigilant and very quick with the alt-F4.
I have a mac. I have no idea what to do now.
Mine here at work was doing that last week. I hate to say it, but I think it may be something with the site itelf.
It started about a week ago, and would screw up every once in a while. Now it only works once in a while.
To further explain, I am only posting when it lets me get a full comments page. And I usually have to go to some other site for a bit and then try to come back. Even then, it takes about 5 tries to get it right.
More likely the Ads they are running, but that equates to the same thing for most people.
I can tell when it’s not gonna load the page right when the ad at the top, or the ones on the side are nothing but code.
*shakes fists at Avis’ intertubes*
I’ve been having trouble loading both ICHC and FB — running Firefox with AdBlockPlus, mind you. It’s annoying.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…using Open DNS stops the hijacking completely.
Yes, I remember you mentioned this before. I don’t recall if you said how to go about it however. Or did you?
*I am sorry for not paying close attention squeezes*
ht tps://www.opendns.com/start/
The “basic” level is free!
Thank youuuuuuuuu!
I wish the site was more informative as to what it does and how. Do you simply replace your DNS resolvers with theirs? I hope they are not tinkering with the DNS system beyond that.
I glanced at it, but you’re right, they have very little technical information. It looks like they redirect DNS queries to their own DNS servers (but how, by modifying the DHCP ip config? or by intercepting the DNS packets?). So if you are trying to resolve a bogus site, they’ll redirect it or just return it as an invalid domain. I’ve used a service like that a few years ago, although the one I used was a tad slow.
OpenDNS requires you to change the DNS server settings on your computer or router. I believe the original idea was to provide a ‘faster user experience’ to work around broken resolvers supplied by the ISP.
Would it surprise anyone if I said that I have no idea, other than generally, what you people are talking about?
Things have gone to hell in a hand basket since the demise of the quill pen.
*snork!*
Thanks for the info Aja. IT would scream at me if I did this.
*ponders doing it anyway*
The best thing about using OpenDNS is that you CANNOT be hijacked because it bypasses the cache check. I was getting hijacked on a message board constantly…it was the most irritating thing EVAR. So I did a little research and found out that this was the safest, easiest way to fix it.
(And my daddy, who is an absolutely brilliant computer programmer, said it was safe.)
I don’t think anyone is claiming that it is not safe.
No, that’s what I was worried about. :p
If ALL they were doing was providing bullet-proof DNS resolvers I’d be for it, assuming I was given shoddy resolvers from my ISP and the replacement resolvers were fast. It’s the additional services that give me pause. I have to think about that further…I’m not so sure I want content filtering at the DNS resolution level where I can’t see it. Again, I don’t know that this is the case, but I can’t determine what is happening from their Web site. It needs a “this is how it works” diagram.
Ditto ↑
Does this help?
ht tp://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2163029,00.asp
Words. Meh. I prefer cartoons.
:p
It does. I recommend for people that are having the exact problems that you were. I wouldn’t use it otherwise.
Hmm, I’ll have to look into that. I don’t think our IT dept will want me bypassing the corporate DNS servers, tho. But it can’t hurt to try it!
If they are worth their salt it won’t work.
You could also be unable to resolve internal resources if you did this at work.
Exactly!
I can say “Lebanese Lesbian” 5 times fast. Pretty easy.
LIES!!!
*scrutinizes BFF*
Leila, is that you?
*tears off mask*
Curses! I’ve been foiled! You’ll never catch me alive! Eeeeheeeeheheeehehehe!
*sprintsawaywithaquickness*
*walks out of kitchen with a plate of cookies straight from the oven*
Where you heading, Leila?
LIES!!!!!!
That’s an imposter!!! I smell meat on his breath!
Wait!!!
Are will still talking about Lesbians?
I tried it yesterday and it didn’t work for m.
I know right? Streaking, experimenting…what will she do next?
To smell meat on one’s breath is surely an expression for “having given a blowjob”, right?
No, that would smell like grilled cheese.
I am of the opinion that it shouldn’t smell like anything. Am I wrong?
…this is the female head of the MI6 we are talking about, right?
Yes.
Don’t you have homework to do?
*quietly exits FailBlog for a few minutes*
Tell your teacher the dog ate it! Everybody believes that!
(Poor fellas whose dogs really ate their homework…)
Imposters Ms B. They’re among us.
LIES!!!!
*TacklesandTickles Leila – Made of Toxic Cocoa with Shiny New IgnoreButton™ till she Tinkles*
Somehow that doesn’t sound right.
Leila wouldn’t say “I smell meat…” she would say “I smell death in your breath” cuz it rhymes and all that and stuff…
Come on, lads! Let’s get this fraud!
*bravely rides forward with his minstrels using coconut shells*
Careful Sir Robin. I wouldn’t want to go in that “general direction”.
None shall pass.
WHAT… is your favourite colour?
Blue-ish hue?
♫ He is Brave Sir Robin
He will fight until his death… ♫
Shut up minstrels!! But I am a knight of the round table, my good Sir knight.
RECLINES!!!!
DECLINES!!!!
INCLINES!!!
REDLINES!!!
SIDELINES!!!
DOTTEDLINES!!!
So can I.
““Lebanese Lesbian” 5 times fast. Pretty easy.”
PfffTTT!!! Can you say it 5 times fast while doing a headstand?
Yup.
It
It
It
It
It
YAY!!!! *standing ovation for coyote*
Here is your prize – 12,000 Internetz.
Or should that be:
ʇı
ʇı
ʇı
ʇı
ʇı
I’m not kidding, Fox 8 WGHP is my local news station XD
I’m :[ – I don’t care.
Damn, now I’ve got quotes from “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” running through my head…
Whoa!
“Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 “so-bad-it’s-good” cult film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus’ modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo (Based on El Santo, Enmascarado de Plata) (played by actor Jeff Moffet, who starred as El Santo in two other Odessa Filmworks productions).”
WTFFFFFFFFFF
“Where have all the lesbians gone?”
I wouldn’t say news anchors fail that much. I mean, it’s pretty easy to find a single moment of failure from one of the thousands of networks across the country broadcasting at least half an hour of talking virtually every day of the year.
Indeed.
Whom speaks the t:roll:th
Hey you two! What’s up with this unnecessary newbie-bashing?
*looks around to see who Arthur is talking to*
*bumps into mirror*
It did sound t
ish though
It wasn’t funny, but not trollish, IMO.
Got to go with AE on this.
*agrees*
Ok, stand corrected!! truly thanks guys
Yeah but sex related mistakes are rare. Like frogs on Everest…
Of course it’s Fox News that wants to bomb lesbians…
OT here, but I just have to share the funny thing I just saw.
I was heading to the local bulk store to restock my vending machines and saw a guy in a full suit and tie pushing a scooter. Not a power scooter, a man-powered scooter. Cracked me up!
I like man powered things…..
SPEAKING OFF TOPIC IS FORBIDDEN HERE!!!
Don’t let me catch you doing it again. EVER!
So, anyway, there I was, surrounded by forty rabid baboons, when one of them pulls out a banjo and hits me over the head with it. You know, I really like banjos… I should probably learn how to play sometime…
Wanna ride bikes?
I love bikes!!!! I had this really pretty one that had these really great tassles and this really neat bell that I could ding-a-ling at people.
Cha-ching, cha-ching, ding-a-ling-a-ling.
This is 5 eagles reporting………in
Hello hello.
Hello coyote what is happening out here right now!? Can you give us details.
I’m here with coyote and 5 eagles deep in the caverns of Failblog. Just listen to the echoes… echoes…
Shadow do you think spelunking is really a sport or a pastime?
It’s ALL because of the lesbians! As every crazy Southerner knows, lesbians, gays, and free-thinkers will cause the Earth to simply implode come 2012.
(Y’know, crazy southerners. Grammatically similar to red m&ms, NOT furry cats)
You have a gift for analogies that is far beyond what I can grasp at this point in my training.
*snorkroffle!*
Silly Jeff Varner.
I remember him (Fox8 is my local station) saying this…and he was shortly thereafter fired (not a joke–this is my serious face :-l ).
Just shows that people from Survivor can’t do anything real…like the news.
Actually, no. Your serious face is :[ .
If you intend to make any headway around here you’re going to have to get used to it.
It’s true. We do take serious very seriously. :[
I thought that a serious face was ]:
No, silly, that’s the devil who has just been left speechless face.
See? The devil part is shown by the “]” for horns, and the speechlessness is shown by the lack of the mouth.
We have very specific emoticons, it seems.
Are you left handed or right handed?
Yes.
OMG! I watch this news channel all the time b/c I live in its coverage area. Poor Chad Tucker, whose voice I (embarrassingly) recognize. And how old is this video? This channel changed their logo several years ago. Despite the slip of the tongue, FOX 8 WGHP is the best news channel in North Carolina.
Those damn Lesbians! You never know when they gonna attack Israel.
Does he not know that the Lesbians have Nukes? They saved all the toaster ovens and converted them to microwaves to make a nuclear device.
dud yaa, everyone knos that.
Oh crap now all the Lesbians are going to nuke us with their toaster ovens!
FOX News FTW!
Those darn lesbians and their slips of the tongue.
Oh wait, did I say that?
ROFLMAO
ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!
This reminded me of something.
“Today I went to a parents meeting in my daughter’s school. The teacher said I was brave and respected me from who I was. Confused, I sat down. It was not until later I realized my daughter told her I was a Lesbian-American. Wrong. I am Lebanese-American. FML”
I have been to a few of their parties, and let me tell you, bombed lesbians can be a lot of fun.
…which begs the question, is carpet bombing the most effective form of attack on lesbians? How can yo tell when they have been licked?
War in the “mideast?” do they mean middle east?
HAHAHA. Very funny. Could be Tucker. Could be Varner. They sound a lot alike to me. But Varner was not fired as one of you posted. Do your homework. It was pretty public at the time why he left Fox8. There was a news article in the paper. Varner was a big Fox8 loss and those of us who’ve watched for years know it. Very funny clip.
I posted the video, and I can verify that it definitely was Jeff Varner.
Thats what i done when i had to do a project thingy in class lol
it’s probably been said but does that pass for a Freudian slip…
Isn’t this the same reporter who accidentally said “blowjob” on TV? Here’s the vid of it on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lIMe1syhd8
MY GOD your comments are so LAME AND NOOBY