Halloween Display Fail
Are you sure it wasn’t a Christmas display?
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Hahaha, awesome!
The guy wanted front row seats for the zombie apocalypse.
I’m second!! You guys finally didn’t start without me!
I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. I could die happy now… on my front porch, even.
LMFAO!
It’s not as bad as the guy who died in his office. No one noticed for a week, they just thought he was sleeping.
He must have been a CEO.
How is this funny?
Because they work in a place that expects to see you doing nothing but sleeping at your desk for a week. I want to apply there now.
It’s the secret burrial ground of the lazy employees.
No, that’s the boardroom, where the board of directors meets and sleeps.
Sleeping is so much easier than pretending to be busy!
Being dead is easiest.
Not from what ZA says.
I think that pretending to be dead for a week would be awesome.
Until the autopsy and then let’s see how awesome you think it is.
Or until you need the bathroom.
Well, if you’re not eating or drinking this may not be a problem.
Corpses lose muscle control most of the time….the odd puddle is expected by anyone that has moved one before!
I don’t even want to know how you know that.
Not eating or drinking for several days may just kill you anyway, or at least a coma which usually leads to death and if not that, the autopsy will. If you want to freak people out, sit on your porch in a costume and pretend to be a statue and leave a bowl of candy near your door that says “please take one!”. Then when a kid takes two or more, (and trust me, they will,) have fun with scaring the crap out of them! I personally have never done this but I know some other people in my neighborhood who have, and have really enjoyed it.
My across-the-street neighbor stood on his lawn dressed as Frankenstein, slowly and jerkily raising and lowering his arms. His wife sat in a nearby chair with the candy. When the older kids came up, he’d wait til they reached for the candy, then yell and lunge for them. I could hear junior high school girls screaming all night.
I can’t wait to see what he does this year.
Woot! Chez!
Sorry, we have no openings at the moment.
Now I have to get back to work….ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……
*Laughs uncomfortably due to peer pressure*
*Docks Ogrady*
*ties ogrady to cleat*
*inspects ogrady’s keel for barnicles*
*swaps “i” for “a”*
There, there, my eye. Here, have a Spam Cookie™. Fresh from the microwave!
*offers tray of Spam Cookies™*
Why, thank you LGB.
*grins and noms, trying not to get Spam™ on his tie*
*scrutinizes list of people who like Spam™ Cookies*
1. WN
2. Jenny
3. Judy
4. NS
5. eye
I’ve always been of the opinion that dead bodies made better Christmas decorations.
*Does the “I’m also third and fourth dance.” Don’t you wish you knew what that looked like?
The 3rd and 4th dance or the Christmas decorations?
Reality, even more amazing than fiction.
*points, laughs*
Haha, it’s amazing ’cause it’s true.
When I die, I want to be out on the porch scaring the little kids.
Ehm, how big a fish are you exactly?
Megladon, that would scare the bejeebies out of anyone!
I always thought Fluffy was koi.
But Fluffy is in no way shy, what would make you think that?
She only pretends to be shy so she can jump out waving her Pom Poms when you least expect it.
What she neglects to mention is that she already scares the kids when she is out on the porch.
Only when someone tries to touch her Butterfly tail without permission.
Then she spits water in their eye?
hehe.. you guys are so full of carp… but seriously I’m honored there is a fishie punrun.
I hope it’s not starting to flounder.
*Stocks punrun with fish fry*
This really doesn’t suprise me all that much. I would have preferred if it were a zombie moving around in the house and by windows so neighbors could see but no dice.
Justification: zombies r 1337
If they could have informed the police later, I’m sure he would turn into one.
Mostafa the Dead Terrorist? Not as good as Achmed though lol.
Just cause his name is Mostafa doesn’t mean he’s a terrorist you dumbass.
Just because he is a racist doesn’t mean he’s a dumbass you ass.
Actually, I think it does…
*ponders*
No, it definitely does … n’t.
LOL LMao!
Doesn’t anyone else think his name seems to look a lot like Mofasa from The Lion King? Huh huh?
*rolls eyes*
Only in America, eh?
It´s body if it stink. If not, it is dummy.
*add ‘bi-’ to Polar*
*steps back*
*squints*
*frames with thumb and forefingers*
Nicey!
*tacks ‘pickle’ on after polar*
I can’t wait to see their surprise.
ACHMED!
SILENCE! I KIIIILLLLL YOOUUUUUU!
Silence! I screw you.
*gets all quiet and waits*
*readies camera and ShamWow™*
*grabs bucket o’ popcorn*
*perspires with anticipation*
*bites nails*
*grabs some popcorn*
So what are we watching?
We’re waiting for Jules to screw JDSwenson08…
*munches some of Jules’ popcorn*
Sounds like fun. I wish I could do that.
*is reminded of Bugs Bunny talking to Elmer Fudd*
*rests elbow on Jules’ shoulder*
*munches more popcorn*
Why is that, GS?
Lol, I wonder if he killed this guy? lol.
Gilan, JDSwenson08, see the little blue reply button in the corner, here?
Use it.
But did it have a mask?
Lemme see.
*starts peeling*
Nah, it’s just his face.
Oh a dead body. lets poke it.
You can tan that and use it next year!
Hell, I’ll use it now!
.
How do I look?
Um… like a sailor.
…with a pipe and a sailor hat and a beard.
Don’t forget the turtleneck.
We try hard to forget the turtleneck, why did you have to remind us?
The-the-the turrrrrtleneck?!?!? Noooooooo!!!!!
*cries*
HA! Funny, that’s what I used to say every time my ex wanted sex. He was uncircumcised you see.
Anyone got a ShamWow for my keyboard?
*hands Scotty extra special, flashy, expensive keyboard*
Here ya’ go, GS! Guaranteed spill-proof!
At least no one mentioned the head
*runs off in shame*
Naw Walter probably did it and he’s forcing Achmed to cover for him.
Walter will kill us all! His farts are worse than a dogs wet mustard farts! lol. Dunham is hilarious. Ty Jon, I’ll do that.
… That’s not even close to the actual line…
It’s Walter’s farts are worse than Saddam’s Mustard Gas.
No…
*ahem*
Saddam’s mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart…
Thank you.
Formatting error. AARG. *Squeeze*
This happened near me, but instead the guy hung himself on his oak tree. people thought it looked very real, it was…
Naw, he was just hangin’ around…
Did it make it to the noose?
Got roped into that one!
I will knot be a party to this pun run.
I’m afrayed you don’t have any choice, Jules.
I like this pun run, it really strikes a cord with me.
You’re just handing me a line now, GS.
I could probably keep going, but I am bound to be gagged.
I’d respond to this, but I’m tied-up at the moment.
I’m just trying to help string this one along. I’m really terribly un-creative, though.
Pay no attention to the dead guy at the door.
Lol BRING OUT YOUR DEAD, BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!
He’s always playing loud music, he hasn’t turned it off in days…..
Oh.
He really had some B.O. I could smell it from across the road…
hmmmm, Dead mans’ party huh!
Who could ask for more?
He took the song literally and left his body at the door.
*roffle*
You should probably stop rolling and get back on your chair ^_^
And this is different than other days how?
It’s the day before halloween!
Ah, Halloween Eve. We’re traditional, and don’t usually don’t open our presents until Halloween Day, though.
*sigh*
*removes extra ‘don’t'*
*plops it in bukkit for needy*
Presents? We’d just egg houses and play Ding Dong Ditch.
Insult to injury: rotting for days and no one notices the difference by how you look, even when you were fresh.
What’s worse is the date, 17th October was when it was published, which means he would have died on Monday 12th.
No-one puts their Halloween decorations up that early.
*walks away trying to be inconspicuous*
Have any of your neighbours disappeared recently?
If they don’t stop playing loud music…..they will start going missing
My next-door neighbor starts at the beginning of September. She finally finished. It takes that long. Lights, fog machines, robotic zombies, coffins, ghosts, you name it. The neighbors across the street have a similar display, with strobelights, a full graveyard, ghouls, etc.
Then there’s our house, with a single cheap plastic skeleton hanging in the window. This year we splurged and added a blacklight.
Cool! A blacklight!!!
*finds neon shirt*
It glows!
*looks for Leila*
Where is she? I told her I would give her the Rolex back today…
FATHER CHRISTMAS! You lazy bum! Move your ass and deliver those presents!
*snork*
No, but they certainly put their Christmas decorations up…and LEAVE them up…
*skaweezesdabuttacow*
You back at work, now?
Yeah, I was back Tuesday.
My daughter was feeling much better by Monday night, but still had to stay home Tuesday. Her stepmom stayed with her.
*LGBskaweezies*
I think I’m going for a display that will either offend everyone or seem unusual and inclusive. The theme will be ‘light of the world’ tying in the Hanukkah Menorah and the Christmas Star. In blue and white (and silver). Yes, Messianic Judaism is always a crowd pleaser. Not controversial at all. . . *rolls eyes*
Worst remake of Night of the Living Dead ever.
3 Days of the Not-so-Living Dead?
3 Days Later? I prefer it when it is 28…
Halloween 3……surely?
3 more days till halloween,
halloween
halloween
3 more days till halloween,
silver shamrock
I Saw III, but it was not as good as the time I Saw II.
I Saw V and made \ /. Hee. I want to see Saw VI, but I’m too old to go to the park now. Heee. I want to watch Saw 6 soon.
I went on SAW today. Gave myself a wedgie, saw throat and arrhythmia.
Has someone already made the Weekend at Bernie’s joke?
No. Feel free.
*gropes Free*
*frees willy*
Why is there a Whale in here?
I AM flattered.
*carefulsqueeze*
Oh the Irony.
That just steams me.
Don’t scowl, you will get wrinkles.
Sorry, I don’t have time for this pun run, I have a pressing engagement.
Please tell me you aren’t board already!
I’ll smooth things over for you while you’re gone, GS.
Funny… thought you were talking about Brewski…
Weekend at Brewski’s.
That sounds like a porn movie.
I happen to think it sounds like a deep philosophical discussion on the art of zymurgy!
Where do I sign up?
Do you dream in beer, Brewski?
Only when I pass out in a puddle of spilled beer.
Spilled beer? Am I going to have to report you to the Belgian Brewers Guild?
I know, I know. It’s due to my drinking problem. I keep spilling. I think I should stick to sniffing glue.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
So groping is free, but if you poke you pay?
Seriously confused.
:[
*pokes Jules*
*deposits 1,000 internets in proper account*
:[
*pokes Jules*
*deposits 1,000 internets in improper account and takes it back*
:[
I feel violated!
How did you get my account number?
]:
There’s no accounting for her many tricks.
Liquor in the front, poker in… oh forget it. You know how the joke goes.
xD
hi whats up i just found out about this website. Its great
hello any body there
Use the blue reply button and join the conversation. You can just start posting at the bottom of the thread and expect that someone will see what you posted right away.
Come here you wise canine!!!
*TumblesJulesDownForABellyRubAndSqueeze*
*content sigh*
Have I mention I love Fridays.
You and me both!!!
*friday squeeze*
The bigger crime here is …
-puts on sunglasses and stares-
They all got tricked and got no treat.
the key word being OR
It’s just not the same with the sunglasses.
It’s penetrating still.
Not as much as the E.T. finger.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*bites nails*
*hides in corner*
*turns on light*
Hey! Who put this dead guy here?!?
*Carefully moves ZA out of corner*
*picks up ZA’s various body parts*
*superglues back into place*
ht tp://www.arcamax.com/zits/s-633190-258428
Has ZA been around today? The linked comic strip has been doing a series of why zombies make good parents.
Retaba!
*Puts on mirrored sunglasses*
Glade to see you back!
Is it me or does the air smell fresh all of a sudden?
*Sigh, bukkits*
Glade to see you, Marius!
Apparently I am now finding those missing e’s from earlier fails.
*Squeeze*
*squeezeeeezy does it!*
Easy peesezy, nice and squeezezy.
*friday squeeze*
They seemed to be stuck in the everglades.
*squeeze*
*specialFridaysqueeziesfordaEmpandJules*
*reciprosqueeze*
does eney one know how to make an account
Yes.
Who is eney and how would we know if she/he knows how to make an account?
Let’s not discuss that right now. The more important question for the day is: What kind of mischief are we going to get into? Any ideas? Nothing occurred to me whilst readying for work…
I think you should start something.
Okay. I got it. Next fail…
Besides roleplay hornychat?
I miss the pool parties…
No, it’s holeplay pornychat now. k@ said so. So there.
Why do I always read that as “ponychat”. That’s something completely different … err, or so I am told.
Fear of ‘r’s?
Only scary arses
Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just horsing around.
That’s a common phobia in Boston.
what are you talking about
Holeplay pornychat.
*contented sigh
I am so proud of that phrase.
And rightfully so, k@, rightfully so.
bye
Later.
..now I know what to do with my dorm-mate.
…and my office manager…
…and that annoying guy from the grocery store…
The one who asks you stupid questions and says you look old enough to be a grandparent?
That one! That one!
Oh I’d love to put him on a porch… *rubs hands together in anticipation*
No, the one who move at a glacial pace working the express lane, and bags every item separately.
*sigh*
*Slides an S into the post above*
Thanks for putting a damper on my halloween festivities.
Oh wait. I don’t care for halloween.
BOO!
HISS!
Hoot!
Nanny!
Goat!
Cheese!
Burger!
*Snickers*
Meister!
ACK!!!
*goes to change panties*
*turns and scowls @ Marius*
What? I wasn’t looking.
the legit halloween decoration!
I heard about this news waaaay before it made it to failblog, since I live near marina del ray. I’m quite sure one of my grandparents saw the body.
I was still laughing, though.
*waaaaaves goodbye to sinani201*
Waaaaaaaaaait, where are you going?
…to hell if I don’t change my waaaaaaaays.
Whaaaaaaaaat is up with all the extra As?
What are you taaaaaaaaaaaaaaalking about?
I didn’t know you guys knew whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale speak.
I am very good Leila. I am really stressed these days, I could use a sweat lodge every weekend. How do you handle stress Leila?(copy of last fails question to me).
southpark did it! in episode 3-09
Now THAT’S dedication!
Long distance dedication?
George Foreman dedication?
…and this one goes out to Mostafa Mahmoud Zayed. Amatullah says she loves you and hopes you have a great day!
Aw, c’mon you guys! This ↑ was classic!
FIRST!
Yes. Yes, you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.
Yay
Did he die?
I would have guessed first to get his head put into orbit by gracie with a shiny pink bat or a shellacked mackerel and then placed on his porch next to a jack-o-lantern.
Wow, those neigbors are some morons! They can’t tell a body from dummy? But maybe he was face down on floor or something, but why would anyone let such dummy just lay down on floor for days? Or he was, lets say hanging from rail or something and they just didnt recognize his face? I dont get it.
Nice free-pass for serial-killers. Just kill someone and leave the body on someones front porch three days before halloween. No one will ever notice!
what they don’t tell you is he was beheaded. I forget exactly how it happened, I heard about it. I think it was from gang members. He was on the front porch of his house, which had a little yard with grass on it.
I mean hey, if it is almost halloween and you see a decapitated body on the front patio, would you think any different?
Perhaps that’s why I don’t celebrate Halloween. Morbid.
Sounds like a particular scene from the movie “Satan’s Little Helper”
why doesn’t this surprise me?
In the contrary, it was a major WIN that this guy wasn’t killed.
The driver obviously couldn’t see him from where he was seated.
Don’t walk too close to the front of a running semi.
Sorry, wrong place.
Obviously faked Halloween news.
Don’t want to sound racist but… Why is there a dead Pakistani in my patio?
Wouldn’t they have noticed the stench?
Poor guy.
UYD!!! FTW!!!
wow… this is the kind of thing you would only expect to happen on CSI or Law and Order…
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-marina-death17-2009oct17,0,3558556.story
You meant it could’ve been an Easter display, not a Christmas one.
Well, see. I’ve heard of stuff like this before.
I’ve been having nightmares about “realistic” Halloween decorations for the past few weeks because of a situation that’s going down.
It’s a fail! Go buy latex props….they keep better, jerks.
Lol. Yeah this happened right next to my friends apartment. He didnt see the “dummy” unfortunately…
Actually I don’t remember which episode it was but they did that on the show Bones once. With the kids in the hay maze and they found a dead body.
You meant it could’ve been an Easter display, not a Christmas one