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Ry, one of yours?
*snork*
I was thinking of the turtleneck…
Ry is trying to get young girls interested in cake decorating.
For the record, mine look MUCH more realistic but thank you for thinking of me.
a chick with a dic*?
I’d hit it.
Phallic!
Oops spelled that wrong…
*changes to faillic*
You know what they say, “Once you go bat you never go back!”
They don’t ever say that…
Licking fails again?
I only did that
every chance I getonce.I think I’ll skip the cake, thanks. In fact, I will not be attending Jaden’s party at all.
The cake is a lie.
At least you were invited!
Well, I didn’t want to go to they’re stinky party anyway.
*kicks pebble, walks away dejectedly*
*Joins GS on his walk*
I hope this walk isn’t invitation only as well cause you weren’t the only one who didn’t get invited.
*Slaps self*
*Add a be to his cause*
*slaps Emp*
Here, give this “their” to GS and gimme his “they’re” – yes, you can slap him, too.
*Slaps GS on his cheek (a la unknown)*
*Hands him the their*
*Squeezes Judy*
*Squeezes GS*
*Rests*
A ton of effort to do all that.
Oh for goodness sakes! That’s what I get for having a beer with lunch.
*bukkits*
Beer? With lunch? What’s the world coming to!
It was 5 o’clock somewhere.
Better question is — why didn’t you invite us to lunch???
Yeah!
*kicks stone with toe of boot and sulks*
Sorry, impromptu lunch with a co-worker.
*smurf and dragon squeeeeezies*
Can I make it up to you both with drinks and dinner?
Works for me, how about you, DW?
Yeah, open a cafe, Scottie.
Just don’t make me work in it!
Hahaha!
Your legs are getting a workout in my cafe!
is that a turd?
on the cake or on your nose?
I think you may be taking your dislike of baseball a little too far, Judy.
*snorkity!*
Awwwww! Isn’t he cute?
*gently pets snorekitty so as not to wake*
*Tucks pamphlet for the Center for Kitty Sleep Apnea under snorekitty’s paw*
No kitty should have their sleep interrupted.
Hey you two…lay off my puss…kitty. Yeah, kitty!!!
*snork*
* Stares *
first
Yes. Yes, you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.
ht tp://www.sadtrombone.com/
Who cares?
I do, Chris. I do.
I care a bit too. Just for the record.
give a hoot. . . or a boot.
Nocon! Nice to see you again!
Woot!
Yes, I fail rarely, but when I do, you better watch out!
I’m in the mood for some old-time riffs.
Lute!
Jaden could be a girl. That would make this a swing and a miss.
Or bixexual. The ‘1′ ‘1′ clue is right there.
My God, I can’t even spell bisexual. Must be a mental block of some sort.
Are you going batty? Or just having a ball?
* stares *
woof!!
bixexual is pretty funny… made me pay more attention.
Bixexual? Is that some new Urban Dicitionary term I’m unaware of?
Thank God Granny’s not here…
True dat, buttercow!
Such as swapping the potato for Weetabix™? That sounds messy, to say the least.
*resists urge to Google ‘Weetabix™’*
*resists*
*resists*
Nothing to be afraid of LGB, it’s just a breakfast cereal.
*whew*
That was close. Thanks, GS!
LOL! Love The Holy Grail! Nice reference there Zombie!
Bi·xex·ual:(bī-zĕk’shū-əl):
adj.n.v.adv.
1.relating to two xexes
2.A typo
3. Xafty.
4. xany.
OMG – that’s supposed to be a baseball bat???
Sometimes a baseball bat is just a baseball bat.
…. but not this time.
Yeah, baseball bats are usually made of ash, not cherry wood.
This time, it’s a cigar.
If Jaden is a boy it’s one, two, three strikes your out of the old clos-et!
*Sigh*
‘_e ^
*Goes back to work*
(replying to the Admiral’s comment somewhere way up there)
More like a schwing for a miss.
LCB!!! *ska-weeeeeeeze*
At that age she should have been given a Bundt cake.
Isn’t Eleven a little young for one of those?
They’re starting earlier and earlier these days, GS — just like Christmas.
Sex before eight – or it’s too late.
*thwacks Kh–*
*squints*
*counts ‘a’s*
*…aaaaaaan with a shellacked halibut*
*prepares to retaliate with “baseball bat”*
*puzzled look*
Can’t do a whole lot of damage with this unless I’m going to do my vicar impersonation.
Looks like it’s curtains for Khaaaaaaan!
*drapes drapes on Khaaaaaaan*
Better a fake one than a real one.
For faking orgasms?
Fake orgasm? What’s that?
It’s only an urban legend…don’t worry about it…
*gigglesnork*
Whew, had me going there for a second.
That’s what she said?
You’ve never done it doggie style with someone you don’t really care for and just spit on her back?
*frantically looks for mind bleach*
*backs up tanker truck of mind bleach to the loading dock*
I’ll just park this here for all to use… the ladder to the top is on the left side…
That is all.
But you said we were really good together!
*cries*
That was you? Sorry, I didn’t know your name back then.
It’s “Revenge.”
Suddenly. this piece of banana cream pie doesn’t look so appetizing after all…anybody want?
You learn the darndest things here on Failblog.
I recently learned what Superman was….Now that stupid Soul Ja Boi song REALLY ticks me off since all the young’uns dance to it (or used to)
Heh, Thanks JazzyGirl, nobody’s called me a “young’un” in quite a long time.
Know one calls me young’un anymore either.
Do you dance to that song too? I was chaperoning a 7th grade dance about 2 years ago (yeah…showing my age) and for the first time REALLY listened to the lyrics…”Superman that ho?” WHA???? then someone told me what it meant. As a chaperone I was thinking holy crap….do these kids know what the hell they are saying????
Whadafuh?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
She’s a real swinger!
*where did I put my BOB? where?*
*suddenly not interested in cookies*
Leila, there you are! I have your wa-
Oh…um, *fumble, fumble*…am I, um, interrupting something??
Um…no!
What makes you say that??? 
It looks like whatever I said made MRN lose his appetite.
*wailing*
I am sooooo sorry MRN!!!!!
Didn’t mean to make it sound negative. My attention just went from trivial things like cookies to something more significant and enticing.
Oooooh!!! Okay.
He forgot them, not tossed them.
How come we know who took the picture but not who submitted it? Seems that would be easier to figure out.
*looks-up answer on Google*
*looks-up answer in Dicitionary*
*looks-up answer on Yahoo*
I got bubkiss, MRN.
*shrugs*
*walks away*
Me too.
*shags*
*walks away*
Shag? I’d love to!
*grabs Leila, pulls her onto the dance floor, does the Carolina Shag*
Cool!!!
*does the choo-choo-train*
Wait…you’re doing the horizontal dances vertically??
*is impressed*
With the caboose, even!
*looses train of thought*
Loosing is not a option!
…but the caboose is loose!
Dirt mind!
Cheap, but good mileage.
That’s right, CGADEDLRIDMC, we ALLLLL have dirt minds…
Mine is one of the dirtest.
*squeeeeezyStarfishy*
*five-tentacled squeeze for LGB*
Where are mine????
*pouty pout pout*
*gives Leila the super special Friday Five-tentacled foreversqueeze*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
*giggles like a little girl*
*squeezes back*
Thankfully, I have one of the few clean, uncorrupted minds on failblog. And I fail to see what’s wrong with that cake.
*squeezes failpeeps*
Buahahahahahah!!!!!
I am sorry, I just couldn’t help myself Brewski. I love your sense of humor. Nothing wrong with the cake.
*he is sick and LIES!!!!! like a rug*
I already said this before, but it bears repeating:
P-B-B-B-BBBBTTTT!!!!
:-p
*TacklesBrewskiAndTicklesTillHeTinkles*
*passes Leila a ShamWow for the mess Brewski is about to leave*
*Hands over a few ShamWows*
*runs away to change SpongeBob boxers*
Ummmm…maybe I won’t comment on this thread after all…
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Maybe it’s because it’s a giant, frosted, chocolate chip cookie instead of a birthday cake? The cake really IS a lie.
What is so dirty about a cake with one of Marge Simpson’s hats on it?
Really? I thought it was an homage to Abe Lincoln!
No, that’s a hammer. I’m sure of it.
♫Oh if I had a hammer,
I’d hammer in the morning!♪
Did you just say hey Blinkin?
Your big day is almost here, ZA. What’re you and the hoard gonna do?
Probably just kick back and take it easy.
Hi ZA – I put this link on the previous fail. Thought you might enjoy.
ht tp://www.arcamax.com/zits/s-633190-258428
How hard can
lifedeath be when you’re six feet under?Cum battah battah cum
SHWINGGGGG!
Happy Friday, zooomy!
*SKA-weeeez LGB*
*snorkity-squeeze*
are batteries included?
*runs away from desk so coworker can’t me laughing hysterically*
Yes, Leila, batteries are not always required.
Not when you’re around.
It’s the ever-popular Fridinia! Happy times all around!
I think I get you now Cloral. Happy Fridinia to you as well.
*squuuuuuuuuuuueze*
Ahhhh, Fridinia. Got it!
*specialFridiniasqueezyforCloral*
It makes me happy that I no longer have to explain my weird-as-heck statements. After all, Fridinia is a term that only has meaning in my world.
And now in our world too. List them all so we recognize them when we see them next time. Just don’t say Saturday is Sardinia.
Monkey Day
Tuukku
Anti-Kalou
Thyrozine Thursday
The (ever-popular) Fridinia
Saturnal
The Sundleton, or Sundleton Sunday
Looking at them typed out like that I kinda feel like an idiot.
*furiously scribbles notes*
Thanks, Cloral!
don’t be mad at the notes, they didnt do anything.
And what day would frida–fridinia happen to fall on, wednesday?
Tuukku.
Then let the cuddle puddle begin!
*squeezes*
Oh, and I brought pizzas.
*sets five large pizza boxes on side table*
*Jumps in* *squeezes* *jumps back to work*
Ew! You jumped in the pizza!
I don’t wanna eat it now. :p
It’s now only slightly better than the pizza that was dropped on the sidewalk or the pizza with the metal bits in it.
Oooo! Pizza! Thanks, Judy! *squeezy*
*looks through boxes*
Do any of these have Spam™?
*wields phallic bat*
*agrees with Leila*
One spam-free foodstuff, please!!
You didn’t check this one, LGB.
*motions to special pizza box with check-mark*
*chases Judy with phallic bat*
Come here you blue thing!!!!!
Hmm… which will win? Phallic bat, or E.T. finger?
Stay tuned, for the exciting conclusion of Dildo Wars!
Sheesh! The Discovery Channel is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days!
Sex sells.
*sexes ZA*
How much did we make?
An arm and a leg.
If you keep going I am sure you will make a killing.
*Offers case of Labatts*
It seems appropriate for today.
I’ve always thought Labatts went well with beer.
*snork!*
Squeezes all around!!!
*spots pizza*
Ooooh, do any of these have ham?
They all have pork products on them – peperoni, ham, sausage, salami, spam – - absolutely No Bovines Were Harmed In The Making Of These Pizzas.
Bacon?
*makes puppy dog eyes*
IT’S BACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!
*gives some to the puppy-eyed person*
Thanks, Dragon.
♥ bacon on pizza! *drools*
Jim Gaffigan does 7 minutes of stand up about bacon that gets me every time. Clickie
*eats pizza, waits 30 minutes, jumps in cuddle puddle*
By the way, have you guys seen the movie “Where the Wild Things Are”? I thought about you all when they went to sleep in a big pile. It totally reminded me of a cuddle puddle.
I haven’t, but now I do want to see it!
*Starfishsqueeze*
I loved it, it was beautiful movie to watch on the IMAX.
*Suziesqueeze*
Sounds nice! *squeezes*
*squeezes all around*
I bathed in Purell, so you shouldn’t get sick!
*hazmatsqueezesBrewski*
*Swan dives in*
How sweet it is to be with all of you.
*squeezes all around*
♪ How sweet it is to cuddle up by you… ♪
*beams down to cuddle puddle*
Happy Friday *Squeezes* everyone!
*decorates the cuddle puddle with fake spider webs, skeletons, bats & black lights*
In honor of Halloween I mixed up some Bloody Marys, and brought a case of Hop Devil IPA.
Always on the ball, Scotty! Thanks. Did you happen to bring along a stereo to play your collection of this week’s songs?
But of course!
*pushes several buttons on tricorder, “Monster Mash” starts playing throughout cuddle puddle*
*10,000,000 zombies erupt from the ground*
*zombie horde starts doing the monster mash*
You can’t have Halloween decorations without zombies, can you?
What a thriller of a party.
*wanders into cuddle puddle*
*sees 10,000 zombies dancing around*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
*b-ZINGGGGGs awaywithaquickness*
Hey, the hoard is a horde today! Is Halloween making you generous with your minions?
Hooray for Friday (Fridinia)! Cuddle puddle AND pizza.
*squeeze*
*noms pizza*
Zaaaaaaaaaa
*cuddles*
After years of this joke failing and being horrible… NOW it finally is appropriate!
http://www.majhost.com/gallery/manaleader/Avatar2/bigbat.jpg
Kudos to Jaden’s parents who are ahead of the curb and open minded that they want to accumulate brownie points in the case their son ends up playing with Steve and not Eve.
Ha. Brownie points. Haha.
Don’t strain yourself.
*wonders what strained Fairus would look like*
Well, I’ve got this industrial strainer, but I’m afraid the tines are rather sharp.
*Looks around uneasily*
*Eyes door*
*Begins moving slowly away from Leila and LGB before they notice the industrialized strainer in the corner*
GET HIIIIIIIIM / HEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!
*grabs phallic baseball bat*
Stay back!
*Jabs threateningly*
*grabs shellacked halibut and starts swinging at Fairus*
Come back here!!!!!
*flees to patio and shoves dead body off railing*
Avast!
EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!! What in hell???
*retreats*
That’s fine. I will have my revenge.
*shakes fist @ Fairus*
*gets of railing*
*slowly walks over to Leila*
… Cake?
*Offers piece of phallic cake*
Erm…no sankoooo, I am a vegetarian.
*wanders back in*
*wonders what the hell he did to deserve being thrown from the balcony*
You got me with that one, ZA. I just got a funny look from the client sitting in the hall…
We’re being invaded by pirates!!
…Which is cool. I like pirates. May I have some cake please?
Sorry ZA! I didn’t realize you were napping there, I kind of got caught up in the moment. No hard feelings?
Of course you can have some cake *hands Dragonwriter some cake*
someone grab the shellacked mackerel
Has anybody ever bothered to ask the shellacked mackerel if it appreciates being used to bludgeon people?
Here’s the contract. It knew what it was getting itself into.
*flashes a 4″ notebook*
I hope the notebook enjoyed the show, but you still haven’t explained where the contract is.
Not to sound stalkerish…….well, actually I’m okay with stalkerish……….but, you guys are fast becoming my favorite written sit com. Better than “Friends”. Well, better writing anyways.
As the owner of FB, let me remind you that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING you read here is copyrighted and you must obtain our permission to use it.
Oh yeah? Well:
P-B-B-B-B-BBBTTT!!!
:-p
*logs in notebook*
*wipes face*
*tackles Brewski and sits on him*
MOMMMMM!!!
What is it now, Brewski?
Leila’s picking on me!
And she didn’t really clean her room! She just shoved everything under her bed!
I tried cleaning my room that way once… didn’t get past Mom’s eagle eye though… although, I must admit, trying to hide all your junk under your bed isn’t as effective when you sleep on the top bunk… and it also irritated the snot out of my brother… since he slept on the bottom bunk…
Well, just pile it all in the closet! Just make sure you can still shut the door!
Brewski, were you in me & sister Bev’s bedroom say, around 1968 or so?
No, I was in a baby crib. But I have spies everywhere! Beware!
*looks stealthily around for Judy*
*bows*
*”borrows” E.T. finger from Judy*
*sneaks behind LGB*
Hello!!!!!!!
I knew I’d get it sooner or later… Glad it was sooner!
See? Even if I’m not around, my minions are! Be wary!
Glad to be of service! Here it is, good as new! And…it’s even been sterilized and sanitized!
Hmmm…Judy has minions now??
*scootches back up against the wall*
Awaiting orders, commander!
Bud Light. Cold. In a frosted mug. Immediately.
That’s harsh Judy, making Brewski of all people get a Bud Light.
*grabs a frosted mug*
*secretly fills with Czechvar pilsner*
*pops in with frosty beer for Judy*
Here’s your, er… Bud light!
Oops. Forgot to clue all in on internal diolague. Somewhere in that, in my head, there was also the phrase ……..”I’ve been reading your comments for about two weeks.”
Whose your favo[u]rite, Boppity?
It’s me, isn’t it?Brewski?Why LGB, I’m flattered!
*flutters eyelashes bashfully*
Well the next step is to jump in and comment regularly yourself.
Here’s everything you need to know, Boppity:
ht tp://failpeeps.wordpress.com/faqquity-faq-dont-talk-back
I feel like I just found the answer to the universe. Thank you LGB!
Blast, that was supposed to be a secret. Now we’ll have to kill you.
Thanks for the site address LGB. I took a few minutes to skim the educational material. Got a few more of the jokes I’d already read. Just gotta love the late bloomers.
And for goodness sakes, use the Reply button.
I feel adequately stalked now. Hey, do you do parties?
I do some parties, but others I would do with your………. oops, dirt mind moment.
I do enjoy parties with appropriate themes.
You don’t know anything about a dirty mind until you’ve had earthworms crawling through it.
It would be diffacult to choose a favorite when you all complement each other so aptly. But yes, bit Brewski. Sometimes.
Leila would be my other favorite. Along with LGB and GS and K@ and AE and ……..well, you all pretty much rock my web.
Wait. Wait. I didn’t
cuz I wanted you to say I was your fav. I did it cuz you didn’t use the reply button.
Do you want an avatar? Go to .gravatar.com
Sorry Lovely Leila………….I’m sneaking in while pretending to erode my soul……….er….. I mean work. Can’t do too much to draw attention to my inappropriate use of company tools.
Who are you calling Lovely????
That’s it, someone hold me back. He/She is really asking for it.
*restrains Leila*
*tries not to get filthy decaying matter all over her*
*fails*
*isn’t able to restrain her for very long (or very well)*
♫Some kind of help, is the kind of help that helping’s all about.♪
♪And some kind of help, is the kind of help… we all could do without.♫
Thanks for the attempt ZA.
*cowering in corner with shame*
I like you, Boppity. I really, really like you.
Now, run along and get yourself an avatar so you can play with the big boys.
*swats Boppity on the hiny*
*adds a pinch to the swats Boppity on the hiny*
Wow. I’m feeling like I’m walking through a plaza in Venice, Itally.
*pouty posterior*
Oh Leila……….if only I could give you some of mine. Lord knows I have enough for two.
Do no want. Took me more than 1/2 year to drop 30. I like me just the way I am sankooooo!!!
I have to say, I think I like you just the way you are too. Shiny things excite me.
*grabs bucket of popcorn*
*readies camera*
Wow, and on her first day, too!
Dagnabbit, BBB! Where the heck is your consarnit avatar?
*taps foot*
Sorry LGB. I think I’m working on it. But you know, thinking comes from not knowing.
Ah ha, so you’re female.
Thanks for the compliment by the way. I always tend to think I’m a bit of an ass on the blog!
Brew, with the copious amounts of ass I have already, you’d have to know that that’s one of my favorite things about you.
I believe *squeeze* is appropriate here? Please correct me on manners if early squeezing is too forward.
We’re all squeeze hos around here. We take ‘em anytime.
We give ‘em too!
*Squeeze!*
I love squeezes!
*SqueezeGSback*
Really?!!!
*exuberantsqueezesallaround*
OH HEY!!!!
That part of me is OFF limits!!!
*squeezesBackBBB*
Oh, please. You were just flashing it in the other thread!
*squeezesthenoob*
Not at all!
*squeeze!*
Welcome! Careful about talking about your ass too much though, you never know where that E.T. finger is lurking…
*gasp* thanks for the warning Brew.
That reminds me………need to call home.
Careful when you make lists like that though, they’ve been known to start trouble.
As WN would have said, Prezackly!
I’ve done that before. You’ll always leave somebody out. I’ve got sooo many favorites I won’t even try. Most all the avatar’ed regulars have their own personality that makes them special and/or funny. I love the interaction between those unique personalities. Some are more the “straight guy/gal”, others are dirty, others are buffoons, others are intellectual, etc.
You forgot the pant-less one in your list of specifics.
Sorry. I’m new to this. I was just so inspired by the free flowing love with a side of sarcasm that I couldn’t restrian myself.
speaking of new (I was anyway) I think I may be doing something wrong. The threads (?) are kind of hard to follow. If I put a foot wrong or say something at the wrong time or inadvertantly cut off someone’s small toe, please know it is unintentional and done with all due respect.
I put my mouse cursor to the left of the post, then hit the up-arrow key to scroll up and find out which post it responded to. Otherwise you’ll go cross-eyed.
*pouts*
*smoochiesqueeze*
How’s my favorite Judy? Champagne?
*pop!*
Judy left?
*pouts*
Hey, I can’t always be at your beck and call, can I? Besides, I had to go tend to your soup.
*proffers giant steaming mug of healing goodness*
Every last drop, now!
And thanks for the Champies! *sips*
Sorry, I just am greedy!
Mmmm Mmmmm Good! Thanks Judy!
*ska-weeze!*
Ummm.. *cough cough* I think I need one of those too!
*holds thermometer up to light bulb*
*sticks it in mouth*
*takes light bulb out of mouth and sticks thermometer in there instead*
Um…me too!
Why, thank you!
Brew even has his own fan club.
Cake Wrecks has this totally beat.
h ttp://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
h ttp://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/10/teasers-for-coming-seasons.html
Once you’ve visited CW a few times, fails like this one cease to impress (depress?).
*headesk*
*palmface*
*headstone*
*Slides pillow under zooomz’s head* Please be nice to the furniture… the hollow thudding sound every time your head connects with that poor desk is a little unnerving…
zooomz head is hollow?
Have you seen me trying to eat his braaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnsss?
JUST KIDDING!!!!
zooomy, I’ve been thinking. You need to put a ♀ on your name so that everyone knows what sex you are.
*hands zooomy ♀*
*throws a few shovelfuls of dirt between eat and braaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnsss*
*covers dirt with the word “her”*
Thanks for the correction.
Well, I am biexual….
I wonder when the cake came back if the orderer pulled a Homer and said “Dough!”
Ok that was bad, but no need for the silent treatment!
*giggles*
They really are giving you the silent treatment, aren’t they?
Okay, I’ll comment on it.
That sucked, noconspiracy!
JK!
*squeeze*
Nicetaseeya!
You see a fecal rooster? Your Rorschach answers must be entertaining.
It’s the only time his psychiatrist ever says “wrong”.
I don’t wanna go to the doctor!!!!!!! (IRL)
*throws a hissy fit like a 10 year old*
Hey go to the corner right now Miss.
*sends Leila to corner*
And with that no cake for you Leila !!!
We’ll have lots of squeezes and more cuddle puddle when you get back, but first you have to go to your appointment like a big girl, OK?
She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to. I don’t go to the doctor anymore and look how well I’m doing!
*looks ZA up and down*
*squeezes*
*ooze drips*
You look good to me!
A face only a mother could love?
LMAO!
*picks up LGB’s A and hands it back to her* It’s not nice to leave your stuff laying around… somebody might misinterpret that as a request for something rather forward…
Take it like a man Leila!
Why thank you very much!!
Wanna pet it?
Happy Birtday Jaden, now here’s a black mans ball sack and penis with a band-aid on it and a baseball.
LMFAO!!!!
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything just then, ‘cuz it wouldda come out my nose!
I saw that!!!
No you didn’t!!!
What are we talking about?
don’t play dumb qwaz……
Your threat rings hollow with me.
well, to you, it will have the opposite effect. . . you will live in 6 days. In your sleep, so it will be peaceful.
whew – you scared me for a second there!
. . . Mixing spam with other types of spam now, are we?
Spam, eggs, spam, spam, bacon, and spam…
green spam and eggs?
Rule #31: Check the back seat.
*Trolldar begins beeping*
I think the real fail is that the kid is named Jaden. Shudder…
its time not turkish anymore?
my doesnt get what me did
Jaden’s only got one ball
It’s not matter quantity, quality is what actually matters
is that a different way of saying “it’s not the meat, it’s the motion”?
1. My head is NOT hollow
2. My sex IS in question
3. Safety
4. Shellacked Mackerel is NOT represented by the Union and loves whacking trolls
5. Hey, wh..wha…what is that thing dragging me away?
ZA??
LGB–u da best!
*squeeeeezyzooomy*
Which part of #2 is in question… what yours is, or whether or not you get to have any?
good catch….whether I get any…
(hub is deployed to Iraq….) so….
I bet a stripper pops out after young Jaden blows out the candles.
A male stripper, by the looks of it.
HAMMYKINS!
*squeeze*
*squeezies*
Happy All Hallow’s Eve²!
with one ball, by the looks of it
Welcome to the Online Persona Makeover Shoppe, BoppitybopBopper! How can I help you today?
I would have to be a smarter person to answer that questions OPMS. LOL I don’t even know what it is that I don’t know.
I believe that I need to figure out how to build an avatar without getting myself into any trouble.
Just go to www . gravatar . com and create an account. It’s very easy, and it will distinguish you as a “regular” here on FB.
Make sure when you come back to FB that you log in with the email address you use to create your gravatar account.
Thanks for the info. I appreciate the help. Unfortunately, I am blocked. Darn work computer.
you know what you know, if you know what I mean – mz. brickell.
whoever did this was either a master of disguise, or an idiot
but that’s how i learned baseball…. what fail 0_0
Jaden? What the heck is that? That’s not even anything close to a real name. NAMING FAIL!
so his name is supposed to be what… jordan?
its a real name you dumbass. names are not confined to just Tom Dick and Harry.
Well then, I know a certain cookie cake who’s sleeping with Mommy tonight!
Lol, good one
Ummm….*looks around* well if noone is going to eat it….
just don’t poop on it dogbreath.
Kraut ‘N Kielbasa sounds good right about now C’MERE! Nom nom nom
Looks nothing like a baseball bat. But I wonder who would wish the kid a big black d*ck on their 11th b-day??
That bat looks like a turd flattened at one end with a bandage wrapped around the end of it
thats my name -.-
Is Jaden a boy’s or girl’s name? I’ve seen the names “Reighlaiegh”, “Kayedehn” and “Austlynn”on a day care center sign (wishing him/her/it a happy birthday) and I can’t figure out what these names belong to or where they come from.
Penis or not, that thing looks delicious!!
hmm… looks like a rocket.
397rd
Watch Fastest Time To Eat A Raw Onion on YouTube, I almost choked laughing, srsly funnier than anything on failblog
It should be the one that has 200,000 views
That’s supposed to be a screw. As in “screwball”. Wordplay failure.
So well made, sure.
Which is a bigger fail? The fact that the baseball bat looks like a schlong, or the fact that the kids name is “Jaden”?
Is this supposed to be the dirt path between the pitcher’s mound and home plate? No way that’s supposed to be a bat.
What the hell kind of a name is “Jaden”?
God, can we PLEASE stop with the pretentious-sounding made-up bullcrap yuppie kid names???
If I hear one more parent yelling at their “Connor” or “Ayden” or “McKenna”, I will strangle them with their own entrails.
Its a big turd that somebody threw third base on and then drove over with the lawn mover? Maybe?
Uh, cakewrecks did this already, and did it better
Happy Buttplug Jared!
What kind of dumbshit names a (presumably) male child “Jaden?” The might as well have named him sexually frustrated meth addict.