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» 341 Failures in Communication
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She’s secretly enjoying it!
What a fettish (I don’t know the true spelling of that word).
you were but one t off. commendable. (fetish)
Thanks.
*squeeze*
That is definitely a fail… but it could be worse!
Holy crap…that dude is horrible!
its reffered as Horriblé (he’s probably a latino)
actually the accent in spanish in -horrible- is in the i, but its not a written accent…
I can roll my r’s like a sexy b*tch
Git down wif yo bad self
I always feel like somebody’s watching meeeeeeeee
*crotch grab*
>ACK!<
That tickles!!! 
Not when done correctly. Now turn your head and cough.
*gigglesuncontrollablywithavengeance*
There’s a way to turn that against him.. Watch the game standing up so that he can’t see without standing up as well.
I don’t think you’d want to risk him losing his balance or having a heart attack like that, he’d take out have the section.
Yay! my first squeeze
*squeezes back emphatically*
Oh, how cute! Your first squeeze!
*snaps pic for posterity*
*closes eyes*
*gets all nostalgic*
I remember my first squeeze. I was with my boyfriend in high school and we were in the back seat of his car and one thing led to another and…
…nine months later the baby arrived.
you can see it on teh picture
*does the wired dance and pulls out Mr Elephant* xD
Nine months later 4 babys came.
And the name of that baby became what?
fatty + nice looking girl = what?
But go Vols!
This!
Wish that I was on old Rocky Top…
Amen!
How hard is it to look up the spelling using Word or Google. Laziness fail.
haha, laziness fail!
Laziness fail = energetic response surely!
ever heard of a dictionary? tell me if i can google it for you…
Hmmm. Okay, I say yes, you can goggle it for him. Or could, at least.
It’s spelled D-I-C-I-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y.
“It’s spelled D-I-C-I-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y.”
Fail
it’s spelled fetish, but that’s a fatish
I believe the word for this fetish is “frotteurism.”
It’s spelled ‘Fatass’
at least she has a seatback
Imagine the sweat stain on her back when she got up later.
Oh man, that’s gross.
Does anyone else feel the need for a shower now?
Its a Belly Chair!!!!!!!!!!!!
Care for a lap dance?
Don’t want to go there…
*goes to fetch crates of mind bleach*
The poor girl appears to be sitting on his lap, whether she likes it or not!
it’s the guy next to her… he looks like he’s really paying attention.
salute!
Yes, it’s a tounchdown!
Will there be cake?
Beefcake? That cake is a lie.
Lie to me, beefcakes. I love it when you lie to me.
The beefcake is a lie?
The SpamCake™ is The Truth.
*pouncetackleskaweezeformyWN*
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
*massivelyaffectionatesqueezeswithatickleincludedatvirtuallynoadditionalcost*
*whispers in Judy’s ear*
*squeeze*
Was thinking about that very thing AND Brewski last night! Hm. Amazing coincidence.
Big.
Big rig..
Big rig pig…
Big rig pig has eaten a fig
Big rig pig has eaten a fig while wearing a wig.
Big rig pig has eaten a fig while wearing a wig and sitting on a twig.
Big rig pig has eaten a fig while wearing a wig and sitting on a twig while watching ants dig.
what he said, plus… “while dancing a jig.”
Apparently there is a big rig pig, that can sit on a twig, and dance a jig, while watching ants dig and eating a fig, where upon on his/her head is a wig, but… is this really a good gig for a big rig pig?
yea its a pretty good gig for a big rig pig, that can sit on a twig, and dance a jig, while watching ants dig and eating a fig, where upon on his head is a wig. and hes a boy
This is a stadium design FAIL. I’ve been in so many places that were apparently designed for 8-year-olds. It makes sporting events about as pleasant as a trans-oceanic flight in coach.
At least they don’t have the little toilets! (flashback from nursery there, sorry)
The toilet will still break with him on it.
I agree with Brewski. I’m 6’5″ and find most venues make me sit with my knees in some unfortunates back.
*Does anyone know why my avatar is different on the recent comments board?*
Oh wow, that’s even taller than me!
I always try to avoid sitting in front of anybody in theaters. But it’s often pretty much impossible, so I’m used to people quietly cursing when I sit down.
I hear that. I am 6′ 1″ and even I get cussed at in theaters. I have just learned how to slouch really well.
I am one of those that do the grumpy, sorry guys, It is only ’cause I am quite short though!
I’m 6′ even, but have found a lot of luck going to theaters with stadium seating, can easily see over even the tallest movie goers… also, stadium seating tends to be a bit wider and more comfortable.
Sorry guys. I’m short also. And yes, I grumble. Hey K@, lets be nice to tall people in the theater if they promise to stop patting our heads when we ask them to reach for something on a high shelf (or is that just me?)
Nope, not just you, the one that gets me is when they lean their elbow on your head….grrr
OK
I pledge to stop grumbling, if they stop doing those things too.
*is short with a 6’4″ brother*
*definitely can relate*
*Snickers*
*Hands BG something from the high shelf*
Is BG old enough for things from the top shelf?!?
*Slouches down*
*Cards BG*
*presents card*
Definitely of age.
As I understand it, werebunnies don’t get their adult fangs until they’re 21, right?
*inspects card*
This is a student ID!
Sorry BG, you must be this tall to ride this ride.
*Flees*
I have my fangs and look at the birth date! The student ID is old, just a really great picture of me!
*sits and pout*
Y’all better watch out with the moon changes…*grumble grumble*
*moons BG*
*runs away*
They actually do that? That’s terrible!
There, there.
*pat pat*
*smacks Brewski in the knee*
*laughs hysterically at Brewski*
*Leans on K@*
See Brewski, that’s what you get for not respecting the little people.
*Bites Marius’ Kneecaps*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*tickles Aiki’s knees*
*Tries to grab K@ as she runs through his legs*
Dang it! The little ones are always too quick.
Mwahahahahaha!
Yow ow ow!!
I see you have good short-term memory!
Get your head out of the clouds and face reality!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THAT!!!!!!!!
Care for some shortcake? Or maybe some shrimp salad?
I think that’s just a tall tale.
*extends Gracie’s temper temporarily*
I was just trying to get a rise out of you!
Don’t make me climb up there!
im 6′ 5″ and when i go to the movies i go to the person if they try to move away its funny cause i got kiked out twice
@Marius: Your avatar is okay, it hasn’t changed. I cleared my cache and refreshed, and it’s the knifeholder.
I sometimes see that happen when somebody changes their avatar. The browser has the large image cached, but not the smaller image used in the “Recent comments” section.
Repost
@Marius: Your avatar is okay, it hasn’t changed. I cleared my cache and refreshed, and it’s the knifeholder.
I sometimes see that happen when somebody changes their avatar. The browser has the large 1mage cached, but not the smaller 1mage used in the “Recent comments” section.
Thanks Brewski.
*^5*
Probably pretty that you leave the house since you’re here “squeezing” people and whatnot. LOL.
At least she gets a padded seat.
Sofa so good!
*squeeze*
Long lime no eyes Tiger!
Couch you see she’s uncomfortable?
yay giant pillow
Chair, I know, but it could be worse!
He could have had extra spicy chili first?
… and here I was expecting some liver to go with the worse. …
Howdy!
*Squeeze*
I have been missing the daily action here.
Aiki!!
*tacklesqueeze*
How’s Mrs. Aiki?
Mrs. Aiki is well. She is kept quite busy with grad school. She also keeps telling me to spend more time on Failblog because I keep bothering her while she is doing homework.
Hey, I like her! Give her a *squeeze* from us.
She is one in a million. She sends a *squeeze* to all the regulars and warns Brewski to keep his hands off me…
Make it a double *squeeze* for her, and here’s one for you:
*SQUEEZE!*
*Squeeze*
Thanks AE!
*Spearsqueeze Aiki*
Only Brewski?
I double checked… Only Brewski!
Rightfully so.
:-p
See that lascivious look on Brewski’s face when he’s sticking out his tongue?
q-:
*closes curtains so minors are prevented from seeing Brewski’s and Aiki’s 69*
*click*
*ptew ptew ptew!!*
Yuk. Too much fur.
Then you’re doing it wrong.
*gropes aiki*
*runs away giggling*
Hey! Come here you!
*Attacks Brewski with a wooden spoon*
*gropes Brewski*
That’s what you get….
*films*
Once more, with feeling, please. This is for DW’s shop.
No no… I let my wife on for a moment and now she is groping other members… I must put a stop to this.
But… but… DW’s store needs this footage!
Hee-hee! Good to see you around, Aiki and Mrs. Aiki. She needs her own presence here.
No kidding… I might get a bad rep around here.
Long lime? Are we having mojitos?
*bukkit*
I had not noticed that!
Mojitos sound like a great idea though!
*squeeze*
Yes, please.
*holds out glass*
Looks like the bar is open
*mixes Mojitos*
*pours one for Gracie*
Anyone else?
I’ll take one!
Lagavulin Scotch and Soda, please? Rocks?
Always a classy-ish drink.
I’ll have what he is having.
Ohh, erm
*sorts through island single malts*
Talisker, Arran, ah here we go.
*pours drink & hands to WN*
Thank you, thank you, thank you very much
*sips*
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
And the same for Mr Aki!
Much obliged I’m sure.
Welcome back! (?)
Thanks… I have been lurking, unfortunately searching for a job seems to keep me out of the house more than I like
Aiki!
*squeeze*
Searching for a job is more than a full-time job.
No kidding. It is getting very tiring. I may need to get a job just to have a vacation!
*snork!*
*and a squeeze for good measure!*
*supa squeeze*
At least his periscope is tucked safely away under that heap of flesh.
but look at the smaller guy to the woman’s left… is that a banana in his pocket or is he really excited to see her?
Nah, he’s the Banana King and that’s his rod…
You’re the Banana King, Charlie!
Just watch out for the Blah-blah-blahs!
*snerk*
most 8-year-olds don’t weight 400 pounds
No, fat m*therf*ckers should just stay the f*ck home, until they get their weight under control. Disgusting.
I’m quite disturbed by the portly fellow’s facial expression.
she looks like she’s trying to suck up a booger.
Brought to you you by Spankme.
mmmm “get in my bellyyy”
*mini-me noise* Eeeeeee!
She does not look happy…
she is sitting in his lappy…
Lean back to take a nappy…
Did you meet his pappy Jappy?…
No, they lost the mappy!
Brought to you by USA.
just lean back and enjoy the ridE
Is that a Clemson tigers “T” I see?
cause i cant read whats on the big guy’s shirt.
tennessee… but she’s not gonna be volunteering for THAT any time soon.
Cheaper than indoor stadium heating.
she’s considering the possibilities…
“hard on to the left of me, fat man up my backside… here I am, sigh, who will deliver me?”
♫♪Well, I don’t know why I came here tonight.
I got a feelin’ that something ain’t right.
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I’m wonderin’ how I’ll get down those stairs.
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you! ♫♪
And I picture you singing that while cutting a guy’s ear off.
You dog.
10 points to Marius.
Marius has a Reservoir of Dogs.
She should be glad she’s not at St James Park, she’d be getting accosted by a naked belly there.
The color suggests she could be at a hotel in St James Place.
And that’s just the ladies up there!
Ah yes, St James Park, thank the Lord they’re now playing in the Championship. And now to continue to show my prowess over other bloggers by speaking presumptuously and pompously, because, of course, my life is that sad that i feel the need to portray my superiority on an internet forum, whereby i constantly feel the need to correct people’s spelling and/or grammatical errors, just to give me that extra bit of satisfaction in my life. Not forgetting of course, the necessity to speak in formal English, despite being on what appears to be a comical website, where, as custom would go, it is not usually the norm to speak in such fromal manner.
formal*
Get thee hence, you pustule
What the hell? I only correct people when they’ve made heinous spelling mistakes, and don’t you dare lecture me on how I speak. When you’ve been a student at a British school for over two years, your speech tends to become less casual and more formal. And I have no idea why you try to cast me in this egotistical light. Arrogance on this blog will only cause your downfall.
*squeeze*
Ignore Ignore Ignore.
*squeeze back*
*sigh*
I know. But it really does annoy me.
I know, hence my Falstaff retort!
*rolls on floor laughing*
“get thee hence, you pustule!!!!”
Can I borrow that to use on my brother later??? Pleeeeeeeeze?
Not mine to steal- so sure!
We use such references for our pets – they can be beastules, puppicles, catticles, puppages, etc.
Comes in handy
The extension -kin on a word means small, so I use that for the animals!
Puppykin=icklepuppy
@k@: That reminds me what my daughter does with her kitteh: She holds it like a baby in her arms and with her free hand she tickles kitteh’s back paws and says, “Tickle-ickle feeties!”
I obviously just never grew up!
Oh dear!
*hides in shame*
There, there,
*Pat, pat, pat*
It’s alright K@.
*Flees*
*dusts Marius’ knees for fleas*
Knee fleas? Oh, please, just squeeze.
You tease!
Jeeze
*sighs*
We know, BFF, we know. It’s just an ignorant asshat. Sadly, some people can’t differentiate between intelligence and erudition, and arrogance.
*squeeze*
Ah, man! I wish i was a part of this clique whereby saying ‘squeeze’ made me look so cool….
To Brewski, being a learned person does not mean that you have to come across as being so aloof and pompous. You see, anyone can speak in such a formal manner, such as i am doing now, to show their ‘superiority’ over others. The plain and simple fact of it is that this select few seem to think that by talking in such a formal tone somehow makes them better than other people. This is the way it comes across to the rest of the forum.
Aha so being eloquent is, as it was in High school, taboo.
Sorry, this is the real world, we don’t bow to bullies here.
can (and may) we boy the bullies?
and deliver swift kicks to the keister?
aaarrrggggggh…
*kicks the “y”*
*inserts the “w”*
buggering bow.
Attention, all trolls: This is the correct way to be an utter and complete asshöle. As you can see in his posts he’s full of envy, craving for attention and begging to get responses. Sad, you say? Where’s the difference to any of us, you ask? It’s his special little trick – he uses the name of a valued regular! Sure, that doesn’t show too much creativity, let alone intelligence. But it’s working.
Yeah, I also couldn’t resist. But, sad little impostor, I don’t have too much to say to you apart from:
Man, you’re ridiculous!
and GTFO.
I wonder if he’s the same one who tried imitating you awhile ago.
Don’t think so, that one had two sad little tricks, this one has one.
Good point.
*squeeze*
The only people that see our group as a clique are the ones that don’t even try to join in. We’re very welcoming…too much so for my taste, but that’s me.
*squeeze*
Yeah, we’re good folks. My guess is, idiots like the impostor know that and desperately wish to join – but they’re scared. As they are so often in their lifes. That’s why they use the anonymity of the internet to bark. Sad, really.
*squeeze*
Go fetch fido?
*Squeeze*
I bet his bark is better than his bite. I understand the fear of a group so established as ours. Though whenever I come across a situation like this I at least test the waters in a more passive manner. If the group reacts in a negative manner maybe it isn’t the place for you. Else congrats you are now a groupie.
Interesting that he “came out” speaking as BFF — he obviously has been lurking for awhile.
No guts, no glory is my motto of the week. Just go for it! What’s the worst that can happen? And all those other motivating cliches.
You never know until you try. Life’s a box of chocolates. When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I worried this was a closed group or “clique,” but I’ve found a welcoming community of unique personalities with a fascinating group dynamic.
I’ve had a few bumps along the way but we just worked it out in our own friendly, snarky, silly, sarchastic manner. And, as always with criticism, consider the source. As you get older you realize you aren’t going to get along with everyone all of the time.
/speechifying
Oh, and, p.s. Trolls should be dismembered and eaten by zombies. Or at least smacked with a shellacked mackerel.
Reply fail BTW. Just saying.
the joke clearly went over your head. just saying.
My hat is still on so I doubt that.
*capitalizes BFF’s ‘T’ and ‘J’ just to be pompous and circumstancious*
“Disguising” yourself as a regular and then proceeding to talk down to the regulars…hmmm
When you grow a set and quit hiding behind someone’s name to bully, maybe we’ll take you seriously…
I think not. Definitely not.
*nods*
Yeah, that sounds about right.
*specialskaweezefordabuttacow*
Stop trying to sound like you’re a regular or someone “important” on this blog.
You rang?
*x5 what I said up there ↑*
Ouch!
Dang it! I just realized LGB was talking about waaaay up the thread… not the 5x part.
Yes, I see how that could be misinterpreted.
I know…my bad…
*squeeziesforLGB*
*bunchesandbunchesandbunchesandbunches*
Fankoo!!!!!
You like me! You really, really like me!!!!
*pompous and high-falutin’ squeezes for all*
*pompomandhighpitchedflutesqueezeinreturn*
You know, where he is from they call him slim.
slim jim?
dares go out to those who are willing to snap into him.
A little push…
…and you’ve got the world’s most horrifying human domino effect.
…and you’ve got a baby?
… and it’s 120 stories of pure air, followed by one (1) story of >SPLAT!<
…hey, quit shoving me!!!
That is one big Volunteer.
That guy is from Texas? No way….
*looks at map*
*squeezes eyebrows*
Only two things come from Texas…
Whoa… movie flashback.
Aikiwaza is a fat homo.
*thwacks TT with a shallacked halibut*
Stay away from our little tiger!
LGB, TT is obviously uneducated, ignorant, and fully unfamiliar with our kitty.
I wouldn’t worry – in this case the truth is A LIE
In hono(u)r of you I blame a government conspiracy.
*invades personal space and anklesqueezes*
I blame you!
*does a handstand*
*anklesqueezeback*
And I thought I was undercover. Damn, now the government has to give me another secret identity…
Whoa! Government cover up!
But AE, what are you going to do if you can’t be a boxer?
I am a boxer, my secret identity was being a professional liespreader. Maybe I’ll now change to be a death panel member…
You wish.
The truth is seldomly told when explicitly labeled the truth.
…and that’s the truth! *blows raspberry*
… trust me on that …
Yeah, what he said!
Hello Aikiwaza, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of making your acquaintance.
I am from Texas and I am neither bovine nor homosexual. Texas is a whole ‘nother country. However, having just moved back home from California’s Bay Area, may I suggest that, “Happy Cows Come From California,” and, let’s not forget San Francisco’s Castro District. California wasn’t for me but there seemed to be a lot of people very happy there. To each his own.
/bloviating
moooo. …
Would you like a wafer thin after dinner mint?
*sprints out of room to avoid mint aftermath*
I couldn’t eat another bite.
how about a thin mint?
Probably a picture from Neyland Stadium (I think I spelled that right) in Knoxville, which seats something like 80,000-100,000+ people because its seat width & length ranges are the size one would expect for an elementary school auditorium. It’s a really old stadium.
I live about 100 miles north of UT, so I’m familiar with pics of people sitting watching the Volunteers. (and yes, you can see the “Ten” and “Vol” & “eers” on his shirt, the rest of the words hidden by rolls of fat warping the shirt, and partially on others, so it is NOT a pic of Texas fans. Wrong shade of orange for Texas, anyway).
Is that your belly button or are you just pleased to be behind me?
what do you suppose would happen if she inspected him for belly lint?
Nice cushion!
big for the pushin’
Seems like someone’s been eating too much Ass Cream.
Is that a sausage on your back, or are you just happy to sit there?
Just remember to breathe.
*searches memory*
*breathes*
Woo hoo! Go vols! Wait what…
I feel for her. We have a similar situation with our season tix. We have a at couple that is in our same row and takes up two seats apiece (4 total) and is only paying for 2 tix. Since we’re on bleachers, everyone else in the row is inconvenienced because of their large asses.
“Get in my belleh. I’m gonna eat ya’”
Oh, beHAVE baby!
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, rrrrrrriibbss.
“I’m higher on the food chain”
“Get ON mah belleh. I’m gonna rub yer baby buggy bump’ers.”
~ Ost N. Powers ~
*with profuse apologies to Mike Myers*
THAT’S A HUGE TACO EATER!
UT fans… the one thing I hate about living in Tennessee. X(
at least her back will stay warm, and swampy. ew balls
maybe she farted and now the fat guy has to somke her fart
I’m surprised that he’s not wearing a “no fat chicks” T shirt. He’s just the type of guy I normally see wearing them.
Is it [i]legal[/i] for people to be that fat?
Its just wrong to make fun of fat people.
Why is she crowding him like that?
why is there a fat dude in the kitchen?
If that’s Neyland Stadium, that guy is only 5’5″ 180lbs and the girl and guy in front are 5yr olds. Have you seen how tight those seats are? There’s a reason it holds over 100K, and it’s not because it was designed to.
Seriously! At Neyland, you’re in the lap of the people behind you – I don’t care what they weigh…
he looks like your mum
As somebody who just moved to Texas I have to say that this a way to common of a sight, fatties are everywhere! It’s disgusting.
As a Texan, may I recommend you go back to wherever you came from.
Don’t mess with TX!™
That’s a win!
Well, he’s large. That’s pretty much it, right? Not funny enough. He’s just large. Period.
I had to sit next to a guy this big on an airplane once. I thought they made people that big have to buy two seats, but apparently not. He got all of his and half of mine, while I squished myself up against the window for two hours.
it’s worse on a greyhound bus.
Is she sitting on his lap? It looks like she is.
dude’s not really that fat, he just has to sit with the arm of his seats up his ass. the camera caught him in mid-bounce.
Can she smell what the ROCK is cooking? hehehe
Can you say high fructose corn syrup?
She’s the only one who can lean back. Comfort WIN.
*random topic joke*
Philip’s head isn’t screwed on right.
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!
WAIL
Back cushion WIN!!!
She shouldn’t complain
he looks very comfy
Disgusting and repulsive. How does someone get that size?
Yeah it’s disgusting. They should charge those people for more than 1 seat.
I’d call that a back rest win.
Yeah, that looks super comfy. Can I hire him to sit behind me?
actually the accent in spanish in -horrible- is in the i
wtf? how much does he weigh? If I were that big, I’d be about 700 pounds.
hope he doesn’t get too excited over the game O_o
On the upside…I’m sure his gelatinous gut makes a decent chair back…which the stadium is obviously lacking…
/awfull
well if she gets tired at least she’ll have a pillow
That’s a backrest win.
she’s got some back support now!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww Damn that is the worst seat in the stadium. What luck.
It’s Julia Louis Dreyfus
suck me
Personal Space Fail?! No, Free Pillow Win!
And here I thought the fail was the guy in the black shirt with the orange hat and the guy in the orange shirt with the black hat not switching hats.
is it just me, or is that bill and hilary clinton a few seats down?
holy crap it just might be
Lets just all hope that she hade a stuffy nose that day cause one fart and shes dead
P.S. Go Vols
what you see here is not a fat guy invading someone space.it is actually one of the sattelites orbiting him thats in her space
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