Awareness Fail
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It’s not a driving fail? Or is it?
Honest question – I can’t see the video at work.
For little NS and dabuttacow:
A runner at a track race slams into another runner.
And they both seem pretty unaware until it’s already too late. I love the look on the woman’s face. Too bad she looked the wrong way.
she just got…JACKED UP
…by dennis rodman?
Actually, I was thinking more Wesley Snipes from ‘Demolition Man’.
Oh my that camera seems to be capturing me… I’d better slow my pace….
Wouldn’t it be better if it was a Formula 1 Car?
He is to fast for a car
Now why would somebody fast for a car?
I love the guy in the back in the orange shirts reaction!!
kofi something or other… a ghana native who ran under german colors until he got himself banished for drug use.
Now he sits on the internet sending emails to people saying he has a large inheritance to give away.
Haha. I’ve been receiving lots of those emails. I’m pretty darn rich right now. LOL!
haha it was totally todman
Awww…you’re so sweet, LGB! Normally, I would ask, but today I am home with one of my children, so I can view it…
How is she doing today?
She’s better…for now. Who knows with all this stuff floating around?
Thanks for asking!
*sanitarysqueezes*
She’s fine…she’s retired for a couple of years…. filthy rich and surrounded by Olympic gold medals
Nope, not driving. One runner is crossing the track without looking, and gets run over by a sprinter.
I like your description better, GS.
*specialMondaysqueeze*
Thanks LGB!
*Squeezes for the Blue Girl, and the Halloween Kitty*
*squeezes Scotty & LGB*
*pokes head into thread*
*SQUEEEEEZE!!*
*dragonsizedsqueezes*
*SQUEEEEEEEEZE* Right back atcha!
SHANK BITCH
thats one way to end a comment string
Thank you, both!
*looks both ways before crossing the information superhighway on the way back to her … um … desktop*
Noo… come back. We have cookies!
*warily pokes whiskers and an ear back into the room*
Cookies? What kind of cookies? If they’re SPAM™ cookies, I think I’ll
run the other way as fast as I canleave them for the people who like them more than I do. If they’re chocolate chip or peanut butter or oatmeal (no raisins, please), you’ve got a deal.Of course, I have a lot of work to do — so if I disappear for a while it’s probably not about the cookies.
*scrutinizes list of people who like Spam Cookies™*
1. WN
2. Jenny
3.
nightshaydeOops. I accidenty trademarked the wrong part.
To be honest, I’ve never tried a Spam Cookie™. Perhaps I would like it if I tried it. Is there anything in them other than Spam?
Tin foil.
:ick:
Is there anything in them other than Spam?
Yes.
Spam, spam, spam, spam, chocolate chips, bacon, and spam.
But what about the Spam, Spam, Eggs, Spam, Spam, Sausage and Spam with a side of Spam, Spam and tomato Spam?
How about a little rat tart?? That hasn’t got quite so much spam in it.
OK LGB, I’ll try one the next time you make them.
Just Spam and tinfoil. No additives, coloring or preservatives!
*mixes fresh batches of Spam Cookies™ and new Vegee Spam Cookies™*
*adds extra tinfoil to each*
*hums a tuneless tune*
*puts in microwave*
DING!
*offers tray to GS and NS*
*takes Spam cookie*
Oh how cute, it looks like a Fortune Cookie!
*opens Spam cookie, takes out scrap of paper*
It even has a message inside!
Hey! What the heck is this? “Call now for free V!agra samples”??
*throws out Spam cookie*
Try again! If you’re lucky you’ll get a former Nigerian dictator who wants to give you millions of dollars!
What? Did they run out of princes?
They do appear to run through princes at an alarming rate.
A princely sum just doesn’t cut it anymore. You’ve got to offer a dictatorial amount these days.
*eyes cookies nervously*
*takes an original Spam Cookie™*
*nibbles cautiously*
Hmmm. Not as bad as I expected. With a little lemon juice & garlic salt, and not quite so much foil, this could work.
*squeezes on some lemon juice & shakes on some garlic salt*
*nomnomnom*
*spits out foil*
Tasty!
Glad you like ‘em!
*scrutinizes list of people who like Spam Cookies™*
1. WN
2. Jenny
3. Judy
4. NS
*makes notes for recipe*
*considers digital storage device for people who like Spam Cookies™ list*
Glad to see I made the top of the list!
*munches on SpamTurnover™*
You’re always at the top of my list, baby.
Oh baby oh baby!
your to do list?
*wonders why LGB keeps omitting me from the list*
*scrutinizes list of people who like Spam Cookies™*
1. WN
2. Jenny
3. Judy
*offers tray*
Still warm!
*noms*
mmmmm…..
^^^
Ack.
umm… no. not a sprinter. a long jumper starting his approach to the pit.
He’s not a sprinter. It’s either long or triple jump. Also, a sprinter would be on the red track along the edge.
Some dude is gonna do a longjump or something, but then some random chick comes in and get ran over
He failed the broad jump.
The young lady was from Warsaw, he failed the Pole vault as well.
I’ll relay those remarks to the runners.
Somebody’s going to cross the line here soon.
Sounds like a lot of red tape.
She’ll be lucky she didn’t sprinter her leg.
She already received track-shin.
That’s what I call jumping the gun.
If she hurdle bit better she would have known he was coming.
*Gives AA gold medal*
Thanks everyone, I can’t see video either.
If you stand on your tiptoes, BG, I’m sure you’ll be able to…
*skipsawaywithaquickness*
One day I’ll grow to be a big bunny. Then you’ll see…
The real question is. How can you miss a black blonde man running like 20 mph.
Lol at how he didn’t even try to stop he was like :”MOVE BITCH GET OUT THA WAY!”
Does anyone know where I can see this in real time? She goes down fast in slo-mo. And I agree with Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man.
That had to hurt!
Did it have to? It would have been nice if it could have had a choice on the pain.
When are we ever given that choice??
*squeeze*
I personally think that we should all be given an opportunity to be temporarily rewired before any significantly painful incident. Swap the pain center for the pleasure center, and vice versa, then do a quick re-re-wire immediately after.
But that’s just my opinion.
What a wonderful idea! Armed with that, I might even be able to start watching television again.
Don’t do it, my eye, don’t do it!
Television is evil!
*still has bunny ears and the stoopid box*
*only gets one channel*
*only ever watches Biggest Loser*
If we could do that, would we be able to make it so guys can have an orgasm and just forgo the baby batter?
Stock in Jergens would skyrocket, while stock in Kleenex would plummet.
WN if we were able to do that, all the redneck men would be dead. What would happen to all the redneck women and children??
Hm, I wasn’t aware of that.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.
I wasn’t watching, what did I miss?
Whassat?
…
Huh?
What were we talking about?
Pardon?
Quoi?
Say what?
Eh?
Come again?
Will you give me 15 minutes, please?! What am I, a sex machine?
YES!!!
Oop…wait, you mean you’re not??
I’m so disillusioned.
WTF?
Nice hair dude.
New Hair-Dudes!
You can mix’n'match hair styles! You’ve got the Greaser, Mullet, Jheri Curled, Mohawk, and Hair Metal…Hair!
Comb it, straighten it, trade with friends! There’s no limit to what you can do!!
For nineteen easy payments of 34.99, you can have your very own Hair-Dude TODAY!!
*opens wallet*
*moths fly out*
B-b-but I don’t have $34.99!
*cries*
Ah, don’t you worry a thing about those Hair-Dudes.
Her facial expression prior to the crash was appropriate – even though she looked in the wrong direction.
I liked the facial expression of the guy watching in the back of the shot. I’m always a bit surprised at how long it takes people to react to impending accidents.
I suspect she’s thinking “What the hell are all those idiots shouting about?”, I know I would.
You hear that quite a bit do you, Moomin?
When I’m involved, I know full well what people are shouting about
“Get that little marshmallow!”
MOO-MIN, MOO-MIN!!!
WOOP WOOP!
LOOK OUT FOR THE STAMPEDING RHINO!
Hopefully it’s not, “Bring the chocolate and graham crackers! I’ve got him!”
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put that Moomin on the top.
Twist the skewer and
When he’s gooier,
We can scoff the blummin lot.
*fleesquicklike*
happened at an indoor track meet… lots of noise if you’ve never been to one. plus, whoever shouted at her wasn’t speaking her language.
What do you mean, “look out?”
I’m inspector Lookout.
Lookout of the Yard.
Tiger? WHERE WHERE???
Over there. It’s burning bright.
*snorekitty*
Two broken tigers on fire in the night – flicker their souls to the wind…
Srslywtf. Random Al Stewart Lyric Quotage FTW.
*enters quietly*
*Puts tiny Breathe Right™ strip on the Snorekitty*
*leaves a pamphlet for the Snorekitty from the Kitty Sleep Apnea Research Center*
*leaves quietly*
*goes back to sleep*
LMAO!
Honestly, did he think she was going to step aside?
Maybe she thought he was going to stop (from a full run) and let her slow @$$ cross in front of him.
This video is kind of like the anti-Kanye/Taylor moment, yes?
How so?
She didn’t let him finish…
*rim-shot*
He never saw her. He’s warming up. Working with the blocks, watching his feet, making sure his mechanics are okay. Doesn’t see her until he picks her up in his peripheral vision. That causes him to react just before the whammage.
I’ll correct myself. He is in the long jump or triple jump runway. Still think he’s warming up, though. It’s not standard practice to watch your feet the whole way down the runway.
may not be “standard practice,” but the energy he’s putting into his approach leads me to believe it’s a live jump (long, not triple, due to being indoors).
I’ve seen worse. Was watching two high school girls playing toss-the-shotput at one meet when another girl walked between them. She did not survive. People need to pay attention.
This took place at the Sparkassen Cup in Stuttgart, Germany in 2001. The female athlete is Gabriela Szabo, a Romanian runner who had just won the mile (in 4:23) at the event. The male athlete is Kofi Amoah Prah, a German long jumper who retired in 2008 after being found guilty of cocaine doping. Neither was injured.
Morons! It is a chick that just got done wiht her race and she crosses the long jump/triple jump lane. That’s how chicks drive too.
*Gives mxer the rundown*
They cross the jump lane? In a car? I’ve never seen that. And who are the morons you’re referring to?
A fortnight ago I crossed the jump lane in the car. I’ve no doubt I shall be doing it again tomorrow on my travels. I shall photo.
Watch out, my car parks there.
Oooh – please do. We need another driving-related fail.
*squeeze*
*snork*
…like we need another hole-in-the-head fail!
You would be the moron now. Yes the jump lane…..that would be the “lane” that a long/triple jumper runs down to jump.
Poultry should never get behind the wheel.
*Squeeze*
Great minds.
*squeeze*
Too true- everyone knows chickens use scooters!
They also pray to the patron saint of reckless driving. Ciao!
They only appear at cross roads not crash courses.
….But why is the road angry?
The chicken double crossed it.
Wow it really was spitting feathers then!
it can dodo that. it’s not like it gives a flock.
She was poultry in motion.
And c0ckrels have muscles…
They drive across the long jump/triple jump lane?
I once tried to start my car with a jump lane and have been down to walk over jump leads.
17/027? Is that you?
17/027?
Woohoo! That’s my order at Argos ready.
He is Number 6.
A Prisoner of his own mind.
The original bubble boy.
I’m looking forward to seeing Ian McKellend’s portrayal of Number Two. (clickie)
WHOA!!!!
I had no idea they were remaking this…how cool!
Do you get AMC?
Noooooooooo!
*sob*
You are now 655321.
And it is your duty to memorize that number.
I like you, Aja. I really, really like you.
Hee!
Are you able to see the white line painted on the floor directly behind you, Six-Double-Five-Three-Two-One?
And – more importantly – can you see it without looking?
*sighs*
*stretches*
*cracks knuckles*
*picks up pink metal bat that says “Girl Power” on it*
*gets a good grip on bat*
*takes a stance*
*THWACK!*
It is high! It is far! It is gone!
*Crowd goes wild*
I’ve got it! I’ve got it … Oh … no, not much left for a souvenir … just a gooey mess…
Please place it in the box labled ZA noms.
It is not much *shrugs* but there are a few morsels of brain matter there.
*shakes off dust*
*plops in box*
Well, might do for an appetizer.
mmmmmm. A box labeled for me!
*opens box*
*views contents*
*searches for brain matter – finds none*
*noms contents anyway*
Thanks!
I think you need to sing for your supper, then you get the full brain snack with double stuff!
Should we save it for ZA?
K@ had the same idea at the same time. GMTA? Thanks!
*brings Gracie ice pack*
You’re getting quite the workout today. We don’t want that shoulder to get sore.
Thanks GS!
*squeeze*
In less than 2 hours, see parenting fail..
She was awesome.
*cheers Gracie on*
*would bow, but is leery of ET finger*
*never did explain ET finger to kiddywinks yesterday*
*squeeze*
That’s understandable. Plus, I usually don’t post on weekends. Internet at home is not on my budget at this time. I just found out last week, though that one of my neighbors has an unsecured network that I can access from my bedroom.
Tsk, tsk…
*squeeze*
Who puts baby chickens behind the wheel anyways?
Men, no doubt.
*runsawayveryfast*
What? I was too drunk to drive.
I was too drunk to drive, so I made the baby chicken do it. It’s not my fault!
We had a research grant for it.
We concluded their feet couldn’t reach the pedals.
Chicken pile is the solution!
A bunch of drunk guys piling chickens in a car while giggling and singing drinking songs does not count as a research project.
But what’s the fun in getting all that grant money if you don’t do anything good with it!
*Applies for research grant to prove most research grants are chicken $hit*
Says you.
I read that first as “Chicken pie is the answer,” and was horribly confused.
[Homer]Mmmmmmmmmm…piiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. [/Homer]
*snerk*
I think chicken pie is a wonderful answer!
*salivates profusely*
Probably just as painful as getting hit by a car at 20 mph…
Argument for traffic lights on the track?
Who pays attention to traffic lights?
You really should, just to be polite. The lights are just suggestions, though.
Women apparently have bad peripheral vision/awareness compared to men….This proves it. Dumb bitch.
No, you.
You so are.
*cleans blood from bat with ShamWow*
*grips bat*
*takes stance*
*THWACK!*
*golf clap*
*snork*
*goes to nearest golf course to shit in hole 9*
You’re supposed to do that in Hole 8!
That explains the smell over by the windmill.
I’m so glad you’re here to look out for us while I’m not here, Gracie!
*ska-WEEEEEZE!*
You’re getting quite a workout today, Gracie.
I hope she warmed up properly.
I stretched before I did the one up there. ^
Well, then — carry on! You’re doing a terrific job.
*beams*
*squeeze*
I’d complain that you were doing too terrific of a job because you’re smashing their brains out – but they’d have to have had brains to begin with. Keep up the great work, Gracie!
I’ll see if I can thwack their heads off intact. That’ll make more of a challenge.
some day, the electrolux man is gonna get you for destroying so much vacuumness.
According to the voice-over people were shouting to get her to pay attention but the problem was she turned around to them & didn’t see the other athlete who was running for his 4th attempt for a long-jump. i guess she was spaced-out after her race as well.ouch.
*admires Gracie’s swing*
Nicely done!
Thank you!
*glows*
That was impressive!!
And men appearantly just continue driving in spite of obstacles ahead…
yeah and men have bad forward vision…
Yep we only see women’s behinds!
*runs away*
*sticks leg out, tripping Skratdaddy, who falls on his nuts*
My work here is done!
*struts away*
*standing ovation*
Standing ovulation?
Which explains why he didn’t see her till the last moment? You, you fail.
Giant leap there buddy. One woman= all women.
Yea I believe his argument was a whole fallacy.
notice, the guy running didn’t see her until she saw him. So, technically, runners just have bad peripherals. Shhhh, didn’t you see what happens to ppl who make sexist comments? they become zombie food *shivers*
*needs to learn to read ALL the comments under another comment before making a comment*
You tried that’s worth something.
*squeeze*
What do you get when to blondes aren’t paying attention?
A w?
Pehaps an incorrect spelling of “two?”
Pehaps an incorrect spelling?
Lots of funny smartasses commenting on his post?
Could have been worse. Clicky (SFW; lousy quality).
Yeowch!
At least he’s good at getting his point across.
He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.
That makes me cringe. I’ve personally witnessed accidents in the shotput and discus, but thankfully never with the hammer or javelin.
Based on your comment, I’m really upset that I can’t see this.
Why? You like seeing people impaled? Go rent “Faces of Death”.
Bleah. No thanks.
By the way, as long as we’re on the subject…
Here’s my favorite javelin blooper! Clickie.
The words “javelin blooper” put together like that just gave me a screaming case of the heebie jeebies!!!
No javelins were harmed. Did you see the vid? I think the throw went about 6 feet!
Hey now, I may not be the most attractive creature here but I really don’t think I deserve that kind of bleah.
Oh, you meant the movie. Nevermind.
*hands BG elevator shoes*
Try it now.
*skipsawayagainwithaquickness*
It’s not nice to pick on short black garnets!
*hangs head*
*goes to naughty corner*
Careful! You almost stepped on that short black garnet!
*walks into thread*
*leans on BG’s head*
What’s new?
*sprays Brewski with hose and scuttles back to rabbit hole*
*sprays AE with hose* Big people need to go back to their forest. Shoo, Shoo. *runs to bunny hole*
♫ Little Foo-Foo Rabbit, hoppin’ through the forest
Scoopin’ up the field mice, and boppin’ ‘em on the head. ♫
Little Bunny BG, hoppin’ through the thread,
Pickin’ up the beer hose, and sprayin’ folks in the head.
*golf craps*
Author! Author!
*pops in*
You called?
*logs out*
Dammit, I wasn’t even ON the failpeeps site!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Now, I’m not sure. . .do you get *extra* points for spearing the competition with a javelin? It would make track and field more interesting that way. . .
. . .does gracie have a javelin? trolls be afraid, very afraid. . .
No javelin, DITH. Just my trusty “Girl Power” bat.
*pats bat borrowed from her kiddywinks*
*hands Gracie a brand-new bat all her own, pink and sparkly and engraved with her name*
For you!
Thank you! Now I can give the girls their bat back.
*squeeze*
*cleans blood from “Girl Power” bat*
*returns bat to kiddywinks*
Damn this cheap calendar I bought! It doesn’t have “Troll Day” listed at all!
You should use the word of the day calendar GS.
Troll [ trōl ]
noun
A dumba$$ who makes idiotic posts in message boards for the sole purpose of pissing people off, often lacking in intelligence. Sometimes compared to people who pass you by on the sidewalk then grab you in inappropriate place.
That happens quite often. I actually enjoy it, but I’m cheap. *shrugs*
You may be cheap but you ain’t easy.
*skips up behind AE*
*gooses*
*giggles*
*skips away*
How inappropriate!
*sigh of content*
Arthur, I’d like to introduce you to Mr. E.T. Finger. E.T. Finger, this is Arthur!
I already had the pleasure to meet him. Quite often, actually.
*giggles knowingly*
*sneaks away*
Where are all these trolls coming from anyway?
…under rocks?
The woodwork.
Wasn’t there something about bridges?
I know!!! Their parents basements!!!
They are obvious trolls, too. It’s been ages since we’ve had a conversant troll.
Ahhhh….and some of them have been SO fun in the past.
*nostalgic sigh*
Yes, who can forget the “Roleplay Horneychat” troll?
*Warm glow of nostalgia*
I have to go buy T-shirt transfer paper for Whirly Birds costume (she’s going as Flo, from the Progressive commercials) and I’ll have quite a bit of left-over paper. I think I’ll make a “Roleplay Hornychat” T-shirt for myself.
(I also threatened to take one of Roosters new pairs of boxers {purchased specifically for his costume- rev. war soldier [british]} and put a starfleet emblem on them.)
Hmmm, I’ve recently learned how to make silk screens at home. Creating one and knocking out a dozen or two Roleplay Hornychat T-shirts would be pretty easy.
*ponders*
I plan to make one of my own, but if you make multiples, I’ll buy one from you! I’m also planning to make a t-shirt with my avatar on it, since it’s a simple, graphic !mage.
Cool, Your Avatar would make a great T-shirt.
Sehr gut meine Frau.
-stares-
*Snickers*
*Twix*
*Whatchamacallit*
*Baby Ruth* (my traditional Halloween candy – only have one every year.)
*Zagnut*
*Milky Way*
*Milchschnitte*
*Godiva*
“Abba-Zabba”
ya alls need a kit kat break.
*-scritches-*
Schnurren
Retaba!
Long lime no see!
*squeezes*
*mightily resists the urge to boop Retaba’s nose*
*offers Judy a Corona to go with that lime*
Pwned? x]
Pawned.
POW-ned.
Pew end.
*sits near the aisle for a hasty escape*
*throws TV out of window*
Rock’n'Roll!!!
Prawns?
Pound.
Punned.
I wonder what was on her mind
After that…? The surface of the track.
“Durp durp. Durpa durp.”
“I wonder what kind of problems I’m going to run into today…”
lunch.
“hey, buddy, if yer gonna run me over, at least ask me out for break… err, lunch.”
WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING PEOPLE!!! Especially the douchebags in my office who walk around the halls, staring at the floor, as unaware of oncoming people as these runner morons!
I love the ones who walk down the middle of the parking-structure ramps paying no attention until they turn and glare at the people who have the nerve to drive down the lane made for cars.
What are you, hypnotized?
Have some more kids whydontcha!
I great freaked out when I see oblivious airheads walk out into busy streets with baby stroller leading the way!
I love oblivious airheads, they’re easy to catch and eat.
What do you eat then?
He must be on a diet…brains lite.
Maybe he switched to tuna.
*giggle*
Methinks someone looked at the 9am (PDT) lolcat on ICHC.
Hee!!
(I always look at the lolkitties! I just don’t attempt to translate the comments.)
It’s even more disturbing when they just walk out in the middle of the street, nowhere near the crosswalk, pushing a stroller and holding the hand of a toddler. Way to teach kids about traffic safety!!!
Only if she’s elebenty months pregnant and has two kids other than the toddler she’s leading by hand and the one or two in the stroller.
Hemorrhage?
Nesting fail.
*offers squeezes as penitence*
*accepts squeezes*
*gives squeezes in return*
It’s okay. That high tide must have washed you into a different tidepool.
*stomps off to go to lunch*
Internet Exploder? Well there’s your problem!
*Shudder*
Imagine if she was driving!
*rubs hands together*
*picks up new, personalized, sparkly pink bat*
*takes stance*
*THWACKITY THWACK!*
I’d give 9.8 for the landing though.
Pfft! No graceful flair.
That runner-collision was so cool and uncool at the same time
Watching her head bounce off his chest is mesmerizing.
INCOMING
барышня, похоже, каза тупая гг ))
I don’t think the platypus would hold still when you try that.
I think he was implying that the slinky be duct-taped to the exhaust port.
не разумем баш али ајде ))
So… did the runner get a mulligan?
No, he already used a free drop.
what is she doing outside the kitchen?
Getting run into by a sprinter.
What are you still doing in your parent’s basement?
Wonders of the internet, Arthur.
He never left.
*does not want to know what ploney does in his basement*
It’s his/her room and it’s paid for, damn it!
His. Read the first comment in this thread. His, no doubt.
*sigh*
All these troll comments are making me soooooooooooo sad. The world has so many idiots in it.
I don’t know which is sadder, the fact that there are so many of them, or the fact that they all are saying essentially the same thing.
Your witty intelligence wouldn’t shine as much in comparison if the world had no idiots in it.
*SQUEEZE!!!*
That’s very sweet Arthur…but I think I’d be willing to give up some of my shine if it meant more people would actually use their brains and be less hateful!
*SQUEEZIE!!!*
Yeah, that would be great. I’m hoping for the next step in evolution….
Oo. What would your mutant power be??
I’m guessing…can talk with animals.
Hmmm… First thing that came to my mind is an ability to partially share thoughts and feelings directly, not via language. Dr. Convincious, so to speak.
But then I thought I should go for being able to fly. That’s sooo cool in my dreams!
You?
:-p @ Admiral!
(
)
*SNORK!*
Me? I already AM a mutant! My mutant powers are super-efficient filtering, due to the fact that I was born with four kidneys. It’s kind of a lame superpower, but I’ll take what I can get…and it means I can drink lots of beer!
Seriously? Four kidneys? In case you’re broke – there’s a way to earn some money!
*goodbyesqueeze*
Comes in handy during those drinking contests in a bar in Nepal.
*’Nightsqueeze to Arthur*
Yes, indeed, I am…RENAL WOMAN!!!
*snerk*
*affectionategoodnightsqueeze*
I know you meant that as a compliment, but I disagree. Witty people that stand out in a room full of intelligent people shine brighter than when in a room full of idiots.
*squeeze!*
Lotsa shiny people here.
Oo…maybe that’s why LCB likes us so much!
*hugs*
I knew you were going to say something like that!
*sighs*
*picks up bat*
*takes a stance*
*THWACK!
*Is suddenly picturing Gracie THWACKING trolls in time with Verdi’s Anvil Chorus*
*snork!*
There certainly are enough of them here today for me to do that.
She’s looking like “OMG if I continue walking, that man will bump into me! What should I do!?”
The sad thing is I did the same thing today in my car. I was looking at my front yard as I went around the corner, not seeing the van coming across the intersection. At least he was paying enough attention to avoid hitting me.
Onceth uponeth a time, I was looking across Huntington Ave. at a foxy lady when a parking meter got into my face and knocked me on my arse.
Fortunately, no video camera was nearby.
I’d still do her….
Then you’d fall for her.
These trollicious posts never fail to make me wonder. What is it that makes people say that whenever they see a female? I mean the lack of real life sex is obvious, but don’t they have hands?
its kinda like a stock answer…I am sorry if it fails…pardon Jack Johnson
Something like “Did he die”? Aha. Well, since you’re among the few who recognize my avatar, I let you get away with that.
forgive them, AE, for their mothers failed to teach them in the matters of self-respect.
You’d do a blonde with no sense of direction or brains? Oh wait…
At 00:40 it looks like a rape o_0
They scissored, lulz.
TRIPPLE FAIL… him not seeing, her strolling along, and he falls on her crotch.. failamanjaro?
- @ killerdudecris -
He did not land on her crotch. His foot hit the ground and his leg was above it the whole time. Watch the video frame by frame.
Lol the guy behind “ouch”
I prefer to be in front of “ouch”.
*Comes out from behind couch*
You guys are terrible at the “Seek” part of “Hide and Go Seek”
So women walk just like they drive I guess.
*shakes head*
*grips bat*
*takes stance*
*THWACK!*
*head separates cleanly from body, flies through the air, and lands in front of ZA*
*THUMP*
Gracie, I’ve never seen this side of you before!
And in a strange, twisted way, I think I like it!
*squeeze*
Giving PT my phone number has left me feeling empowered. I was on an adrenaline high all weekend.
“PT”? President Taft?
Nope. I mentioned him a couple of weeks ago.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/09/breaking-news-fail/#comment-634882
Again, let me just reiterate how awesome you are.
Ready? Here goes.
You. Are. AWESOME!!!!!
Thank you. I haven’t been able to stop smiling since. He called me on Saturday, and we talked for a bit, and when I hung up I did the whole Junior High jumping up and down and squealing bit.
*sighs contentedly*
Isn’t it nice?
*SQUEEZE*
Definitely.
*squeeze*
How’d it go, Gracie? Any sparks? Didja set a date?
We didn’t get to talk for long. His not-soon-enough-to-be ex-wife (his name for her) came into town unexpectedly to see his son. She’s a big-time druggie, so he doesn’t leave his son alone with her, and I didn’t want to add to the drama of the weekend by calling him (having her go “Who’s that?”). I did talk to him for a bit last night, and she’s leaving today, so hopefully we’ll get to talk more tonight.
Hmmmm. My prickles came up a little bit about the “not-soon-enough-to-be ex-wife” part…
Still, ’twas a ballsy thing you did giving him your phone number. I’m very proud of you!
She lives in another state. He volunteered this info in the office quite a while ago. He’s going through a legal separation (can’t be a divorce since he hasn’t been in the state for a year), and just wants it to be done. He’s getting sole custody of his son, which is good, considering her druggie status.
We’re still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage, but I have hopes of something more.
As long as you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it. You go, girl!
That’s great! *big skaweezes*
Thanks LGB & Brewski. By the way, Brewski, don’t think that this means I’ll be stealing your pants any less than normal.
*steals Brewski’s pants to prove her point*
Perish the thought!
*walks away, twirling Brewski’s pants as she goes*
Wow Gracie, home run!
*picks up head*
*looks for brains*
*fails to find any*
*consumes excrement filled head anyway*
*doing his part to help clean up around here*
*pins “#1 Zombie” ribbon on ZA’s chest*
*watches as ooze oozes out from pin hole*
*frames with thumb and forefinger*
*urp!*
There you go, being a delicate flower again! :p
I don’t have the strong constitution of you dragons, sorry.
Uh oh! I just got a paper cut! I think it’s bleeding!! Ooooohhh….
*faints*
*wanders into the room, whistling nonchalantly*
*applies Neosporin™ to Brewski’s paper cut*
*applies Hello Kitty™ BandAid™ to Brewski’s paper cut*
*turns on ceiling fan*
*gently puts a pillow under Brewski’s head*
*wanders out, whistling nonchalantly*
Wesley Snipes is pretty stealthy. Have you seen Blade??? I can see how she didn’t notice him.
Did anybody else hear the Jaws theme? lol
Personally, I heard the “Chariots of Fire” theme.
I heard “Running on Empty”, myself…
Okay, picture the scene: I’m in college and helping with preparations for a track meet. For a couple hours plus. And the entire time, the PA is blaring the “Chariots of Fire” theme over, and over, and over, and over…
I was stark raving bonkers before the track meet had even begun.
Oh, who are you kidding, Brew — you were stark raving bonkers waaaaaayyy before then!
Still have Chariots of Fire in my head!
No, I’m a product of a different generation. What I heard was, “You got your CHOCOLATE in my PEANUT BUTTER!”
That was dennis rodman.
Ahhh, what would the world be like without blondes?
… a lot less lulzy, that’s for sure.
*starts to reach for bat*
*decides to leave this one for ZA*
Got a live one for ya, ZA!
Gracie L
:shock K!!!!! It’s Barney the dinasaur…
*sigh*
Once again…
Gracie L
K!!!!! It’s Barney the dinasaur…
The dinar saurus? He’s doing anything for money!
I should just quit and go home.
Are you saying that IxChel is Barney?
Would you believe me if I said yes? No? Maybe?
*looks around*
*doesn’t see Barney*
*relaxes a bit, but wonders what Leila is talking about*
I think you’ve been eating your own cocoa, Leila.
As a result of this happy accidenty, the couple welcomed a healthy bouncy baby boy this morning.
*calls hospital to have them remove the ‘bouncy’ from the baby*
Good thing you said something Gracie.
Bounce a baby, go to jail.
How will the baby burp?
OK, OK, send the baby to jail for first degree burping.
Geesh.
Will the baby die?
*flees thread*
ONLY if you slip Toxic Cocoa into its formula.
Don’t do it, Leila ♀ – don’t do it.
OMG! That was soooo close.
I understand. I admire your restraint.
Unless you’re a British nanny. In which case, shake away.
Wait, what is the difference between bouncing and shaking?
Well, you bounce a ball, but you shake a martini.
Mmmmm…chocolate martini.
*goes to shake it*
Up and down versus back and forth? Try it, just don’t get pregnant.
I thought that was the difference between wiggling and waggling.
No, wiggling involves your fanny, and waggling involves guys’ tongues when they see you wiggle.
OooOOooh! I get it now!
I don’t. Can you draw me a picture down here please?
Don’t you have a kid? I think you do get it!
*draws Leila a picture of a cat*
Does that help?
*looks @ the pic Gracie drew*
OMG!!!!
*goes to hide under the bed*
*sees Leila hiding*
*looks at picture*
Yeesh! I know I can only draw stick figures, but I didn’t know they were that bad!
*hangs head dejectedly*
Let me handle this.
*draws a seven-legged spider*
*charges Leila $233.95 for the drawing*
*looks over NS’s shoulder*
*draws extra leg in the middle*
*slow sad head-shake*
Now now, LGB — you ruined it! Drawings of eight-legged spiders are a dime a dozen.
Unless, of course, the eighth leg is not in the “usual” spot.
What, you mean it isn’t normal for one’s leg to be sticking straight out of the abdomen?
Correct, little Halloween kitteh.
Romanians on failblog…..again
Gabriela Szabo to be exact
the jumper is disgraced kofi prah… a west german via ghana who was banned due to testing positive for cocaine. video must be about 20 years old because both szabo and prah have been out of competition for nearly that long.
Not 20… exagerated. In 2000 or near. 10 years max.
No one knows how.. but she got pregnant there.
There’s something wrong with the shot/transition… in the begining, there another woman on her right side, and she has no bag. then in the running/crash scene, there’s no one on her right side (except the oncomming runner) and she has a bag on her sholder.
There is only ONE explanation. PHOTOSHOPPED!!!elebenty11one!!!!one
Pixels. Pixels, I say.
So blatant!!!
That could have been almost any woman. They rarely watch where they are going. I’m always having to keep from nailing them like that as I walked around during the day.
If they just stayed home in the kitchen, pregnant and barefoot, none of this woulda happened.
*snork!*
*hefts bat*
*pounds troll into the ground*
I seriously doubt you have to keep yourself from “nailing” any woman.
*snork*
play this music to the video!^^
♪ Who let the trolls out!! ♪
What’s even funnier is the announcer is saying, “Ouch, that’s going to end up on Failblog.org.”
why is there a black guy running in the kitchen anyway???
Why is there an achievement from Team Fortress 2 posting on FailBlog?
wimmen…
I think you misspelled “misogynist.”
S/He almost misnamed himself/herself. S/he meant to name his/herself Joke.
You know, as long as you keep replying to these obvious trolling attempts, they’re going to keep posting.
Last week another board I frequent was visited by an idiot who, among other things, posted images of a cat being set on fire. He referred to the cat as ‘zippocat’, so I did an online search. Sure enough, it is a commonly-posted item, specifically designed to rile people up. Now, is there something messed-up about finding humor in setting an animal on fire? Yes, a thousand times yes. But if you respond to it, they’re going to keep doing it.
Agreed. I need to have better control of myself.
BWAHAHAHAHAA!! Zippocat? Where can I find that? (—> away for Googling)
Hehehe.
*hefts new, sparkly bat*
*admires the way the sunlight hits the pink sparkles*
*takes stance*
*THWACKITY!*
Oh, kewl! This one has extra ego in what passes for his brains! ZA’s gonna have a great meal!
*puts what is left of corpse in jar and sets aside for ZA*
*reviews tape in slow motion, pauses mid-swing*
As you can clearly see here, you are generating more bat speed now that you are using a bat better weighted for you. You should get quite a few more feet distance in your hits now.
*cleans off sparkly new bat while watching replay*
Yes, I see what you mean.
*squeeze*
*squeezies*
*jumps in for a small squeezefest*
Where did you get your bat Gracie?
Dragon gave it to me. ^^
Isn’t it pretty?
*turns bat so sunlight catches the sparkles*
*puts sunglasses on*
WOW!!! It’s Fantabulous!!!!
Girl power causes the sparklies.
Sparklies are awesome!!!
*hears the song “I’ve got the power” playing in her head*
Somewhat Related: Have you heard of the 507 carat diamond found in South Africa? Wonder what they will do with it.
Make one whale of an engagement ring!
The ultimate sparkly!!
As I sit here typing, I am wearing a pink sparkly rubber bracelet that my daughter gave me. The bracelet even says “SPARKLE” on it.
Ooooo! It’s so … girrrrrly!
Love the gifts from the offspring. I recently got my daughter some modeling clay for a school science project. She got sick shortly after, and had to stay at home for a couple days. I came home from work one day, and she told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands, whereupon she plopped a tiny 1″ kitteh she had made from the clay just for me. Priceless!
Little girls ROCK!
*agrees*
Yes, we heard you last time. You’re not the real Hitler.
According to Weekly World News, Hitler was a woman. And he died in Argentina when he was 102.
The Weekly World News…??!? It MUST be true!
Nah, for truly reliable reporting I always go to The Enquirer.
prefer the boston herald myself.
He? I thought you said ‘he’ was a woman?
He often suffers from continuity failures. She wasn’t the most popular ruler in the world. But 102 what a dame.
He suffered from ED?
what does arthur think about that?
zombie kill of the week!!
Yes, we’re all very proud of ZA for so much troll brain nomming. I even gave him a ribbon!
*pinches ZA’s cheek*
*shred of cheek comes off in hand*
Next time, just give him a thumbs up.
:ick:
Yes, quite. Wouldn’t want to see the rewind on a high-five with him, either.
Mind-bleach anyone? ANYONE?
I think Emperor got out a crate of it during the last fail (not the book-launch invitation one).
On a related topic, I have no more pupils.
*would offer assistance, but has no idea what to say*
Bleach fumes are the worst.
I still have those orange glowy antidotes tucked away in my secured case.
I don’t get these blog comments. It’s so hard to see any comments about the blog posting, because it’s drowning in a sea of conversations about “how are you doing?” mixed with making jokes about anything or nothing (certainly nothing related to the post or even the blog in general). Granted, everyone here seems to be enjoying themselves… so I’m just confused. Wouldn’t it be better to have some dedicated chat forum? Or is that what this has become? Did it arise out of an unmet need for a general chat arena, or have sites like facebook erased our need to consider the appropriateness of where we put specific pieces of information?
*squeeze*
Want some Dragon Grog?
*SNORK!*
My newly found ownership of FB has gone straight to my head. I should have ran this by you before I made the offer.
Apologies.
That would certainly give “m” a crash-course introduction!
Hi m! We’re just having fun. If you want answers, you can look right here:
failpeeps.wordpress.com/faqquity-faq-dont-talk-back/
I am hoping he becomes a regular one of these days since as we all know, resistance is futile.
Hrm, I don’t know what explains more… the faqquity faq or the magnetic draw of your welcoming cheerfulness. Thanks! It’s nice to know this is all intentional. I don’t know if I could become a regular though because of my time-consuming devotion to science.
*draws breath to speak*
*thinks better of it*
*gives ‘m’ a cookie instead*
Welcome.
I could thwack you, it worked for Qwaz! He’s a regular now!
*trying to be helpful*
*knows this might be misconstrued*
So, after you *thwacked* him, Qwaz became a regular? He was a troll before then?
Sorta. His very first post was kinda trollish. So I thwacked him with a half rotten non-shellacked fish (I forget what kind of fish). After that he became quite nice and friendly.
… and you are ……..?
… and this is regarding ….?
I love how “m” find the purpose of this blog to be so clearly defined.
That specific piece of information doesn’t belong here. This area is for loading and unloading only.
*unloads several cases of champagne*
Where do you want these?
*opens mouth and points into it*
*ǝɯɐs sǝop*
*hands m &, another ‘m’, and an ‘s’*
My favorite!
Oh… TeeHee!!!
*passes bag of M&Ms to LGB*
Have some.
NS, this is ‘m’ the other half of yummy chocolate treats.
Mmmmm. M&Ms.
Milk chocolate for me, please.
*gives NS milk chocolate M&Ms*
I like the ones with nuts in them too.
Does this mean *gulp* we can nom our Fail Friends?
*is willing to brave toxic cocoa for nibble of Leila*
*swats LGB away*
Bad LGB!!!
Bad, bad, bad!!!!
*flees thread*
Please to only eat those Failfriends who do not mind being eaten — and be sure to get permission each time. Otherwise, awkwardness might ensue.
There’s a RULE about this people!!! Rule #15!
failpeeps.wordpress.com/failblog-rules/
*gets in lotus position*
*chants*
*I will not nom my Fail Friends*
*I will not nom my Fail Friends*
*I will not nom my Fail Friends*
“M” you have a point, but it is an acid run here some days.
let’s not insult the base, 5.
lets not tell me what to say sauerkrat!
checking the time.?
Yikes!!! It’s after 6pm!
Gotta run!
*squeezes failpeeps while running towards the door*
LIES!!!
It’s only 5pm.
*refuses to acknowledge other time zones today*
Run Brewski Run (Forest Gump was already taken)
It’s time to correct your ceterpiller to caterpillar.
Ya hello Leila no no how are you 5 eagles” just fix your spelling”, grumble grumble*5 eagles does as he he told*
(on a different computer,home)
And hey you spelled ceterpiller wrong to. Maybe it is a small catarpiller.
Hi 5 eagles. Hope you are doing well.
I just came back from a 4 day men ‘s retreat. It was all good.
What happens at a men’s retreat? Give me a few highlights.
Well… there are men there… and they do a lot of retreating…
First day all arrive and get settled that was thursday. Friday we had massages and inner reflections, and spent four hours in utter silence., which included time in the woods talking to mother earth. Friday night we had our sweat lodge about four hours worth. Saturday we each had a half hour to talk about anything we wanted. Saturday night we had wine and danced to one o clock in the morning. Sunday was closing and clean up. During all this making meals together and socializing. All good.
Four hours of utter silence? How divine. Sounds more like a soul searching, tap into the inner you while bonding sorta retreat. I hope you enjoyed yourself. My retreats happened along a bunch of women and girls in campouts. Believe me, I would have loved 4 hours of utter silence.
I find myself wishing for that everytime I visit my girlfriends sister (5 kids, all causing much commotion).
5 kids!!?! Poor Brewski! How do you manage? I know I have no patience.
takes out one he for is.
Looks like rape to me.
That’s giving him one hell of a run, momentary flight, then a bone-crushingly painful crash-landing for his money.
Hello Shadow! How are you?
I am fine, thank you. How are you?
*has sudden visions of Spanish class, playing out this very conversation*
The bath is what?
Something I haven’t seen in a week.
I wondered what that stink was. GO TAKE A SHOWER!!!
WTF was she looking for? A pair of nice shoes?
In America, the black guy would now be sued for assault of a white woman
.
I hope he left cleat prints up her back.
I had dumb *ss runner wander into my lane during a race once. I slammed her the same way. I hope it hurt.
*innuendo machine explodes*
yupp. she was stupid for doing that. i mean even before she went into his lane, she must’ve seen him, even if it was out of her peripheral. she probably thought she was too good to walk around. what a dumbass.
the dumbass is the person who knows so little about indoor track as to make such a stupid comment.
a number of years ago, I was watching a meet near the tunnel at Tufts. a collegiate meet was going on, with the 4×1 women on the track. as the 4×1 runners transitioned into the tunnel, a shotputter started to cross the track at a point where he could not tell that he was about to get hit. one of the runners ran right into him with a loud smack. neither of them knew the other was going to be in the way due to the way the tunnel emptied out… right where spectators entered the facility. not the fault of either.
what is ss mean?
it’s *ss, 5 eagles, replace the * with an ‘a’. To avoid moderation.
In all my years of NFL watching, I’ve never seen anyone get hit that hard.
where can I find this full-speed?
At a track near you.
Located at your local stadium.
indoor stadium… but you have to turn your time machine back a few years. or decades.
Fail Awareness month.
*sports newscaster*
And we can see clearly that both people are unaware of each other until the sudden impact.
stupid cow! look where ur going… what is she? a newbee?
Huh? Nobody wrote a translation? How very odd :0
did he died?
*pats PerkyPat*
There, there. The labotomy won’t take too long…
*sharpens scalpel*
*Is explaining situation to PerkyPat’s family*
We did all we could…but it was inevitable. He was a troll, he couldn’t stand up to the truth.
That bitch is stupid.
Good for her.
He should’ve pushed her harder or punched her.
but she’s not nearly as stupid as you. so there.
women…….
*hefts bat*
*takes stance*
FORE!
*THWACK!!
Uh, you going to take care of Bhazor down there V too? Thanks, sweets!
I love that look on her face before he runs into her. It’s like, “Huh? Get out of the way? What are you talking abou–”
Never have the sentiments “Move bitch get out the way” been so appropriate.
*pounds troll into the ground*
thats why your supposed to look both ways
when track goes nuts.
Oh, ye Gods, that was excruciating to watch.
Oh, THAT’S where the white women at!
Apparently she didn’t know that humans are in fact not weakly interacting particles.
Well…”honey” I’ll be honest with you now. I’ll be sending officers, but these officers will be taking you to jail.
wow… that seriously epic fails lol
And with that they formed a bobsled team…
Any of you guys seen the dude’s reaction (the one sitting down). It’s priceless!
Dive
Once you get used to it, insanity could be the most normal thing in the world.
Lol, looks like she saw the big screen and is like: “Is that me? It is! And there’s a big, fast black guy coming straight for me!” But she turned too late lol
WOMEN..
the thing everyone’s failED to notice is that when he falls on her he knees her right in the VAG!!!! AHHHHAHA
She got effed in a couple ways.
That’s Gabriela Szabo. She usually wears glasses, maybe that’s why she didn’t see the black blond guy.
)
everything looks awesome in slo-mo.
meh
Hopefully the guy was given a second chance to run again and she was hit by a car in the parking lot.
someone said to her:
“hey watch out!” and she :”what” and than baaamm
Oldvid is old.
Q: How many dumb bitches does it take to ruin your day?
A: Just one, just one.
autobahn >:)
damn , hurt
Believe it or not I just saw Charlie Sheen logged on at RichDater.
Com’on FAIL Blog…This is sooo bloody OLD!! Fail Blog is becoming BREAK.com!
anyone else see that knee rape???
That knee seems to have gone where no man has gone before…
This is why they have the special Olympics.
BOOM! PWND!
dude look at the black guy to the left’s face right before she gets hit! its like :O
Finish her!
OMG THE BLACK MAN BEATS THE WHITE WOMAN! RACISM
Aha-ha! wonderful!!!! is she so stupid that she did not notice where she was? Gosh!
BAM! Knee to the crotch!
It hurts just from watching
ouch
how dumb would you feel? lol
now lets see how that woman drive. lets test her awareness in driving.
Salam. Nice blog
Thank you. We try hard to keep the riffraff out but I keep coming back
and they forget to lock the door behind them.
funniest fail ever
What was she doing outside the kitchen anyway?
hahaha! Wonder how many got that one.
Aww she’s kinda cute! All she needs is a hug!
Looks likes he´s saying “WHYYYYY!?!”
He was too busy thinking “There’s no way she’s not gonna move.”
So much concentration! She got hit by a dude at 3 miles an hour!
They’re both German, so imma gonna put this down as an integration-win.
dumb blonde
how do you upload videos from failblog?
how do you upload videos from failblog??
wow, 2 dumb blonde’s xD
You’re number 666 ^
lol at the guy sat down in the background aswell
She just wanted to get plowed
I remember seeing this video on The Jay Leno Show.
I -
I’ve done that before.
This is what it’s like when Blondes collide
Once u go black u dont go back Lol
Just imagine if these blondes were driving!
Wow, that’s just… …how. xD
Romanian runner, Gabriela Szabo – German long jumper, Kofi Amoah Prah.
i had no idea Ray Lewis ran track.
MOVE BITCH!!!!!,GET OUT THE WAY!!!!GET OUT THE WAY!!!!!
The best part of the video is the guy in the background reacting slowly to the inevitable.
Move b*tch!
She would have been safer in the kitchen
Görünmez kaza:)))
Blondes…
They’re jocks…. they’re not expected to think.
….And they lived happily ever after!
stupid little bitch!
And that’s why women should stay in the kitchen…
That’s why morons shouldn’t have internet.
Oh, my god, that’s the first time when I see that. She’s one of the greatest Romanian athlete, Gabriela Szabo, has more gold medal than he’s weight. I’m so sorry for her but that’s a big, hard, painful fail of 5 stars.
did he die?
understandable
she is a woman
how stupid can you get! I mean you’re at a race with thousands of cheering fans and you just meander into some guys lane! I mean you have to have a one digit IQ to stoop to that sad level.
He couldn’t see her coming as he was looking down at the moment, but i mean you dont expect anyone running in front of you?
perfect
cameramen” bit right , bit right ”
“there”
“wait 4 it, wait 4 it”