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Cheezburger Network Blog
zfirst
second
third
Dwarf.
duck duck goose!
You’re it *runs away*
red rover red rover… oh, wait. that’s not it.
Yes it is!
Draenei.
Tauren.
Human.
Dur.
Troll \o/
Gnome,
Warlock
Worgen.
/forumqqing
Undead. Duh.
Nightelf
The same thing happened to me the other day…
I have a phobia of geckos and I was reading an article about it and another well known insurance company was advertising.
This is why we need insurance reform.
more like phobia fail.
No kidding, if you have a fear of ducks watching you, game over man! Just bite the bullet…
♫ I always feel like some quack is watching me.. ♫
This phobia is a joke. It was originally a joke in a Far Side comic many years ago.
Why it is on this site is beyond me…
I wondered exactly the same thing. Failblog fails again…
Recursive fail!
That’s really a debilitating mallardy.
Eider been terrified if I’d seen that ad!
I’d have ducked under my desk.
Hahaha! That goes way past being lame and straight back into funny.
It’s ruddy awful, it is!
I think I just got it, too! That’s a scary looking duck in the ad.
*shudders*
*sends in a harlequin comic to cheer Gracie up*
*mimes “trapped in a box”*
Breaking a pun-run makes me Blue.
*squeeze*
Leila can show you the “special” corner! :p
Hm, a waterfowl pun run is a harder nut to quack than I 1magined.
*squeezes Gracie*
*ducks out of thread*
Wait, you were just Peking my attention.
*squeeze*
Oh, alright, I’ll see if I can wing it. At least unTeal we think of something else to dabble about.
*squeeze*
Bartender, pour this man a drink and put it on my bill.
You guys quack me up =))
Looks like we’ll have to wing it.
*sigh* Way to read the thread Scott.
*Bukkits and goes in search of lunch*
I do that sometimes too! I guess we’re birds of a feather!
Well, l’Orange you guys gonna say “Hi, ED?”
I heard Brewski was a good dipper.
*breaks out Friday afternoon drinks*
Bottoms up!
SOUSE!
Did he duck??
No, he quacked.
he was goosed.
Take a gander at that.
*looks*
He was taken down.
And then they sent him the bill.
Let’s play Pintail on the duckie!
That patient is a quack.
*Ducks while a needle and other supplies are thrown*
AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
They’re everywhere!!!
Who? Calm down man! Did you have Dragon Grog again??? And by “did you have” I mean “did someone force you to take it”.
Why do you look like a big duck???
AAIIIEEE!!!!
*Stumbles into thread with giant gourd on his gourd*
What’s all the flap about?
Lets all flock.
I’m ready, waddle you waiting for?
I’m to goose this.
just don’t pullet
*gasp!* Gannet be true??
So…what’s the fear of being watched by a stack of googly-eyed money?
Chrematommatophobia?
There is no fear of that, if you are afraid of it just look in to fear of ducks. I am pretty sure that to be retarded enough to be afraid of money is just about the same as ducks.
1st 2 nd ?? i want to know
Oh God…not again??!?!?!??!?!
*headdesk*
*puts pillow between Suzie’s head and her desk so she doesn’t dent her butter*
Thanks, Gracie!
*rubs head*
I was churning up inside…and that’s not a good thing…
And they just keep coming and coming…vvvv
*sigh*
Why people think that’s funny is beyond me…
There there Suzie, let troll droll roll of your back like water off a ….well, (don’t be scared…) Duck!
*adds f *
Thanks, zooomz… Just in a fowl mood today, I guess…
I know how you feel. I’ve had one of those days myself.
*SympatheticSqueezes*
Why do I get the feeling my inability to see video at work is a benefit right now?
It’s not a video.
If it starts moving, be scared…be very scared
nor is it a swan song.
But it has a “play” button and my pc still won’t play it
That duck scares even me…
Aw… dere.dere.
AAAAFLAC!!!!
Bless you.
quack?
It’s the insurance you need to have, if you don’t have it, that’s why you need it.
And, it pays you cash, which is just as good as money.
but all she needs is a tissue.
Does she has the insurance which provides the money to purchase the tissue?
Deal with it.
Blogmonster nommed mah post.
Quick!Get the shotgun!KILL IT!KILL IT!
…is not amused.
Why? Because it isn’t a quail?
‘Cause it’s not an old man.
Cuz iths not duck theazon.
*holds up sign that says ‘Admiral Season’*
*POUNCE!*
*CARTOONISHTUMBLEHUG!*
or a liar (said in best tayxass twang).
*beats own head with a mallet*
anyone else pick up on this coming from the far side and not being real?
Yes, fake!
Photoshopped!
Blah blah blah ….
Got it …
PIXELS!!!!ELEBENTY!
I assume most everybody has seen the origin of this term, but here it is. Clickie.
This is the first I see it. I LOL’d!!!
Oh I loved Far Side!
Me too!
My notebook in high school was:
Suddenly Fluffy realized it wasn’t going to matter whether or not he could land on his feet from 30,000 ft. (Sick but oh so funny.)
How did you attach the link to your name?
See the “Website” box when you post a comment? Put it in there.
Don’t forget a duck win.
Oh, I don’t think it’s photoshopped. These pages plug whatever random phobia into otherwise identical form text. I’m guessing whoever made their list either didn’t realize it was a joke phobia, or did it on purpose.
*beats self on the head with mallet*
*sees a bunch of Avis chirping above head*
*faints*
Don’t hit yourself! Hit him with the mallet!!
We are here to help. Next time, take a deep breath, and try to release your frustration in a constructive way. Towards the origin of said frustration.
Ok.
*adds it to the FB Manual*
Yes, fake phobia. No, not Photoshopped (clickie). In a brilliant stroke of stealth trolling, many helpful health info and Q&A sites offer insight on how one comes to have Anatidaephobia and how to get help.
I know! These pages just plug entries from a huge list of phobias into some form text. Looks like someone working there got either sloppy or prankish…
Wow. Just. Wow. xD
Whether you suffer from anatidaephobia or baracknophobia we have plenty of meds to help you beat it.
Call 1-900-AI-HAZ-TEH-FOBIAS right now and you will receive a special gift.
*dials*
Barack Hussein Obama is a communist muslim terrorist who wasn’t born in America and who wants to pull the plug on my grandma!!!!11 Can you help me???
Are you sure you’re not channeling one of my relatives?
Your family reunions must be quite the events!
My family reunions are snoozefests. Holiday gatherings on the other hand are… spirited. And tense. I’m opting out this year, and spending time with my mom and her husband. The guilt-trips from the aunts have already begun.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*hangs up and hides under the couch*
*videotapes Gracie crying on the phone*
You’re such a pal.
don’t turn your back or you’ll get goosed.
*calls FBI and CIA and sends them to Mr Brewski’s home address*
Oh great, moderated! Meh. I guess I can’t rant like a wingnut conspiracy theorist.
AND… the moderator deleted it! Whoop, that might have been my first! Out of context, it probably looked terrible!
What the heck did you say? Email it to me. LOL!!!
Well. I stand corrected. See above ^^^
Yeah, it came through finally. But still Brewski … what were you thinking?
*IamJustJokingSqueeze*
I was thinking the meds might help cure baracknophobia!
*line picks up*
You have reached Brewski’s roleplay hornychat line. I am currently assisting other clients. Please hold and while you do ask yourself “Is he wearing pants?”. I will be right with you to help you come…to your sense.
*hold music plays*
*♪ I’m too sexy for my pants ♪ *
*stifflesnork*
*dances*
*giggles*
oh, now you sing your swan song.
LMAO *dances*
Hmmm…
*Inspects use of LOLSpeak*
Yes, this is a perfectly acceptable FB usage. Rather witty.
*Hand Leila usage permit*
*relieved sigh*
Man…I thought you were really going to let me have it!!
*snork*
Plus I wanted to be sure we made our kitty neighbors welcome.
Will calling this 900 number make me cry???
We won’t know till you try. Try it! Do it!!!!
*eyes glaze over*
*picks up the phone, dials*
*listens carefully*
WHA THA!!!! LEILA?!?!?!
*runs from the room crying hysterically, leaveing trail of tears*
Whaaaaaat…it’s not my roleplay hornychat hotline. Honest.
*runs after JAzzy with a bunch of ShamWow*
And people tell me I’m cold.
We have no heart pulse.
if I send some go-go’s over, will you have a beat?
*crawls from the grave*
*drags stereo behind him*
*cranks volume … pushes play*
*Go-go’s “We got the Beat” starts playing*
*10,000,000 zombies erupt from the ground*
*zombie hoard does the monkey*
vacation
all you ever needed
vacation. …
Is it the pants? He’s wearing them isn’t he?
Mmmmmm. Duck a l’orange. /Homer
Mmmmmm. Peking Duck. /Homer
You should never eat that which you fear.
Have a drake on me.
*places drake on Leila*
You said…
hmmmm… drake. don’t they make funny bones? can only find those in Red Sox nation.
Only in Red Sox Nation? “Newman E. Drake baked his first pound cake in Brooklyn in 1888 and sold them by the slice. Drake’s popularity grew and the Drake’s brand with it; supplying such favorites as Drake’s Coffee Cake, Devil Dogs, Yankee Doodles and Ring Dings.”
He was more likely a Brooklyn Dodgers fan.
drake [2]: Middle English, dragon, from Old English draca, from West Germanic *drako, from Latin dracō; see dragon.
Hāt stuff!
But…but…I don’t WANNA be on Leila!
Uhhhhhhh… *prepares to flee*
aaaahhhhhh, so it’s malfoy’s fault! let’s throw him into the pot(tah).
The ad is a joke.
They have a duck in their commercials.
*notices the name is appropriate*
*adds ‘ck’ to duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh’s name*
There…much better…
Context-based ads can produce some hilarious results. I’ve even see it happen on Failblog.
*hands Brewski ‘n’*
Here…I, uh, think you dropped this…
Goooooooooooooooooose!
if that’s goose, where is maverick?
Ya know, that looks more like a swan than a duck to me…
Quit lookin at me swan.
I deliver food to your house!
Always keep your eye on the balls.
*stares*
*eyeballs Brewski*
Really??
You are a good pupil.
*pats SuzieQ*
You should post such a cornea reply, Leila.
That is great in-sight.
I retina-ize that eye!
Perhaps it’s because of that new sweater. His wool-lens are im-macula-te.
Looks like Brewski saw me in his bushes last night. Dang.
Hmm isnt that phobia from a Far Side cartoon?
Antidaeaphobia is not real, nor is lupislipiphobia, which is the fear of being chased by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor. Both were invented by cartoonist Gary Larson for “the far side” cartoons.
If you had a brain, I would eat it.
If he had a brain, it would be atrophied from disuse.
♫If I only had a brain♪
mmmmm, tastes like veil.
Not chicken?
Not Turkey?
Mmmm Turducken!
something tells me you were born quacked!
I ain’t eatin’ nothin’ with “turd” in the name.
*RIGLMAO*
Oh great, now I have to reattach it. Thanks.
Those are expensive! We have a favorite butcher in Louisiana where we get ours.
For those of you who don’t know or can’t Google, it’s a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. How the hell they do that, I don’t know. But it’s tasty!
I know what it is but I ain’t putting nothing on my plate that has “turd” in it.
No, not clams or oysters, either!
Coward.
I don’t have to pay for the one I’m cooking, but then I am cooking the whole meal for the maintenance staff at my building. And it’s being paid for by one of the guys on the maintenance staff. His way of giving the rest of the guys a thanksgiving meal.
I once read about a similar thing done in the olden days. They started with an ox and worked their way down.
… and that’s no bull.
We start with a juicy, flavorful chicken … and feed it to a duck. Then we butcher the duck and feed it to a turkey. Then we slaughter the turkey and put it on your plate! Now that’s good eatin!
Ooooh…I.don’t.feel.so.good…
*BARFS!!!! all over the thread*
O.o
*hands Leila a ShamWow*
A bridal veil?
Oops. Hey, I am brain dead!
*grabs a baseball bat*
*beats the ‘i’ to look more like an ‘a’*
*figures it’s close enough for jazz*
If you are brain dead, how do you get your little buddy at attention for when…you know?
Rigor mortis?
You are not real.
*Sticks hand through transparent SweetNeo85 and clapps*
Oh…ew!!!!
*checks around for notebook*
Here ya go! [ ♫♪♫ ♪ ♪ ♫]
sorry, dude, but sarah palin suffers from lupisapblubblubwhateverphobia. and that’s why she shoots defenseless wolves from the safety of helicopters and aeroplanes!
I gotta admit, this one quacked me up.
*gooses ZA*
Uh oh… I poke, I pay!!!
*flees inna panic*
*presents Brewski will all kinds of bills*
These are ALL past due! Pay up or else…
I Geese that they had to do with something of large quantity.
A goosander poke? That could be expensive.
That could eggs-plain it.
Birds are only dangerous when you are on rollercoasters….just ask Fabio
All I am asking is: Who let you in?
Don’t act as if you own FailBlog just because you’re active 24/7 here and don’t have a life.
*THWACK*
Hands Avis jar of varnish to touch up mackerel…
Thanks, I think I’m going to need that!
Avis, to answer your question from yesterday. No, I don’t view meat eaters like that. Mine is worse than what the picture depicted. LOL!!
Please tell me that is not his real nose. You can lie to me and I will be okay with it.
*lies*
That is not his real nose.
Oh good!
*sigh of relief*
*GentlySqueezesFinch*
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!
*returnsqueezes*
Fridays are nice aren’t they?
They are so nice that I don’t even acknowledge the other days.
Didn’t you hear? She does own Failblog.
Yup. She holds the paper. Saw it myself.
Yeah!! What she said. See, here’s my certificate of ownership.
*pulls out a bra from purse*
Oh …
*snorkitty!*
Lovely! And what else is in there?
I wish I could be here 24/7!
*starts writing a resignation letter*
The hoard has informed me they are no longer willing to go after excrement-for-brains trolls like Hi and honestly I can’t blame them, so I guess it’s up to me and me alone.
*jumps on Hi with lightning speed*
*screams maniacally*
*rips Hi’s head off with his teeth*
*sits down in gore, consumes most of the troll*
*makes a disgusting show of eating the cranial contents*
*leaves a meaty, bloody disaster behind as a warning to others*
*watches ZA in awe*
Wow! That was horrific and beautiful at the same time.
*clap, clap, clap*
Bravo. Braaaaavo!!!!
*kicks back and chews on popcorn*
The carnage is good. But you might want to avoid eating it. Some of these trolls can’t be good for zombies.
Yes? What can I do for… Oh, I’m sorry. You said “meaty, bloody disaster”.
someone needs to duck before they get goosed!
I lived in Virginia when this happened with Fabio. It was sad because the duck died and his mate was crying forlorn in the parking lot after. They mate for life, you know?
It was just a really freak accident. It might have been funnier if I didn’t know about the mate.
Ow God! That is so freaking sad.
You got me all depressed now. I hate to watch animals suffer.
I really love this fail! Giggled for half an hour when I saw it on the vote page.
Have a great weekend, fellow failblogians.
*squeezeall*
Aw…don’t leave us. We have so much to blame on you.
*SQUEEZE*
*waves*
*late-to-the-party-ska-WEEEEZE!*
Fail. That is not a duck it’s a goose!
Hmmmm. I would have thought a sack of monkeys would be nearly as fun as a barrel of them, but I was wrong. Go figure.
Dissapointing isn’t it?
*squeeze*
Fun as a barrel of monkeys,
dumb as a sack of monkeys.
You just have to know what to expect.
duck….duck….Goose
*runs around chair screaming*
Yea you are right, Aflac’s (American Family Life Assurance Company of Columbus) mascot is a goose.
That’s why their slogan is “Aflac. Ask about it at work.”
We all know geese are the ones who quack right?
*Looks around*
:eyeroll:
*ahem*
(in best Lerch voice) You Rang?
AdBlock Plus and win
Hey, who wants to have a baby aboard a plane? Clickie!!
[Samuel L. Jackson]
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherphuqing babies on this motherphuqing plane!
[/Samuel L. Jackson]
Seriously though, picture giving birth on a commercial flight. “Can you keep it down, we’re trying to watch the movie!”
ROFL!
I just hope that it wasn’t Dr. Rumack on that plane.
*Sigh*
Just having another rough patch with this damn homework.
Have a looksie.
Matrix Msum;
float candy = 2;
Matrix pinta = Matrix(1.0, 2.0, 3.0,
0.0, 1.0, -4.0,
5.0, 8.0, -3.0);
Matrix stick = Matrix(0.0, 1.0, -2.0,
9.0, -6.0, 0.0,
0.0, 11.0, -1.0);
Msum = pinta.Matrixadd(stick);
printf(“%f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n \n”, Msum.M[0][0], Msum.M[0][1], Msum.M[0][2],
Msum.M[1][0], Msum.M[1][1], Msum.M[1][2],
Msum.M[2][0], Msum.M[2][1], Msum.M[2][2]);
Msum = pinta.Matrixsub(stick);
printf(“%f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n \n”, Msum.M[0][0], Msum.M[0][1], Msum.M[0][2],
Msum.M[1][0], Msum.M[1][1], Msum.M[1][2],
Msum.M[2][0], Msum.M[2][1], Msum.M[2][2]);
Msum = pinta.Matrixscalarmult(candy);
printf(“%f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n \n”, Msum.M[0][0], Msum.M[0][1], Msum.M[0][2],
Msum.M[1][0], Msum.M[1][1], Msum.M[1][2],
Msum.M[2][0], Msum.M[2][1], Msum.M[2][2]);
Msum = pinta.Matrixscalardiv(candy);
printf(“%f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n \n”, Msum.M[0][0], Msum.M[0][1], Msum.M[0][2],
Msum.M[1][0], Msum.M[1][1], Msum.M[1][2],
Msum.M[2][0], Msum.M[2][1], Msum.M[2][2]);
Msum = pinta.Matrixmult(stick);
printf(“%f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n %f %f %f \n \n”, Msum.M[0][0], Msum.M[0][1], Msum.M[0][2],
Msum.M[1][0], Msum.M[1][1], Msum.M[1][2],
Msum.M[2][0], Msum.M[2][1], Msum.M[2][2]);
fflush(stdin);
getchar();
return 0;
Uhhhh… Emp? What the-?
This is bad. This is very, very bad.
*specialsqueezefordaempcuzhehastoworkw/codeallday*
Candy?!?! Where?!?!
I see the problem. You misspelled Mums.
*feels pride*
Also misspelled piñata?
Sorry. I forgot that stuff as soon as the test was over. I hate math. Our teacher sucked so bad only 4 of 28 people completed the course.
I’m a straight A student but that’s the happiest, most satisfying C I’ll ever earn.
I used to think the same, but it turns out that what I can’t do is understand mathematicians. I have no trouble with physicists, engineers or other applied math(s) folk. But pure mathematicians are looking at the subject in a way that I cannot fathom.
I also manage to get 101% in an arithmetic test once.
Is that C++ Emp.? What kind of transformation are you trying to do with that matrix? There should be suitable operators in the matrix class to deal with the normal ones.
It doesn’t look like C++ to me.
Really? It looked like it to me, but I couldn’t tell what was going on without seeing the code for the Matrix.
Oh, it’s just an “add” at the top, then much printing. Should he not just dump it on a stream to get the result?
He hasn’t said what happens when he executes the command. So that is hard to say.
I’m betting 1000 internets on “Seg. Fault”.
I am gracefully bowing out since I have NO idea what that means. I only coded in C+ and almost went bananas once. I was successful in writing a currency conversion app. Yeah, I am not impressed either.
As long as you remembered to include a hidden method to syphon off fractions of a penny into your numbered bank account in the Cayman Islands, we are still awed.
Did you just see “Hackers” or something?
Shhhh!!!!!
Sorry
*applies rot-13 to previous comment so that no-one will see*
Actually, he’s invoking methods of the pinata object (of the Matrix class) and printing the results. Matrixmult() was the last one invoked, but then he’s doing something I don’t quite get (a fflush(), then getchar() before returning?? Flushing out standard in, but why???). That’s why I’d want to see the Matrix class, to see what Matrixmult() was doing. If he’s getting any errors, it’s likely originating from what that method is doing (assuming that’s where the error comes up, of course).
It’s also a little disappointing that someone who comments here so regularly, doesn’t put any in their code
Aw…let give him a break. He lives in a hotel room with his family. That can’t be easy on anyone.
*offers a jar of hot chocolate chip cookies to anyone who wants them*
*drives by*
*throws “’s” into Leila’s post*
*drives off, squealing tires as she goes*
mmmm, and it’s chilly where I am *takes a cookie and mug of chocolate.
I was only trying to be helpful. It’s worthwhile to remember when coding, that if you comment early, often and for long enough, you’ll never have to do any actual work before the budget runs out.
Sorry, I just forgot to add the comments.
But yea I got it to work out.
Oh, and no seg faults.
Chinese proverb: Duck who fly upside down have quack up.
Chinese proverb: Duck who is looking backwards have quack behind.
Confusion says what?
Quack quack quackquack quack?
That? Oh, that’s the duck you could have had for dinner if you’d gone with Geico.
Nice!
Hey guys! You’ll never guess what just happened! I mean just as I sat down to get on-line! It’s raining here again and I live on a very highly traveled street. Yup. A crash. This one sent the rear drivers side WHEEL careening down the street for about a block.
Then I’m glad you are safe and dry inside.
So am I. So am I.
*squeeze*
Rule #4: Seatbelts.
That would be rule #3b, a subset of “safety”.
You live on the most fascinating block. Have you considered permanently mounting a camera to record all of this?
Many, many times! The EMT’s still haven’t arrived yet. It doesn’t appear that anyone is hurt, thankfully. Yes, I can tell that. I have binoculars.
Was it Brewski? You know how he drives!
Nope! It’s not Brewski. Unless he got one helluva tan and neglected to tell us.
*snerk*
I’m guessing the occupants of the car were all wearing pants — which would also help prove that Brewski wasn’t involved.
True, true. All the occupants of said car are indeed wearing pants. And the EMT’s STILL haven’t arrived!
Wait, I just looked out the window. An ambulance just passed them by. But we still haven’t seen any poice cars or fire trucks (those show up for EVERY emergency, regardless of whether or not there’s a fire).
Quick! Run out there and lie under a car and pretend to be run over. Sue everyone, including the late arriving officials.
*snork*
Somehow I don’t think that’ll work!
Another money making opportunity passed up.
You kidding? It’s my favorite pastime!
…
Oh, right.
What about putting yourself in a fake body bag and popping up when someone comes close?
Czuhc!! Help needed!
I’m only trained in pants first-aid, so I wouldn’t be much help for medical needs.
I hear sirens now, so help must have arrived.
*sighs*
Nope. No help yet. The wheel is also still leaning up against the guardrail half a block away.
Wow. Their response time sucks. Are you sure anybody even called 911?
I’m not sure at all. I saw the driver standing outside of and next to his vehicle while talking on the phone. So he has the ability to call for assistance. He’s gonna need it too. That looks like the whole damned wheel!
This has been Failblog On-The-Spot Eyewitless News, with Avis reporting live from the scene! We now return you to your regular programming!
The wheel can parallel park itself?!
Weird, huh?
Not very well, I’d say. It parked in a tow zone!
Isn’t a wheel kinda like a car’s big toe?
The tires are shoes. Either way…ticket the sucker and have it towed.
The car is now gone, no cops or any other emergency response vehicles to show for it either. The wheel, however, is still leaning against the guardrail!
*hears sirens*
*being a sailor, chooses to ignore*
*rephrases to:*
*puts wax in ears*
*spills some on beard*
HOOR!
I’ll help you, Brewski!
*steals Brewski’s pants*
*gooses*
*runs away*
If anyone sees omgabb, please bring this to her attention.
Dear Gabby,
In the Mural fail comments you asked why some of us get all “weird” over spelling mistakes. Like many a good question, this one prompted some thought beyond the obvious answers. Here is my stand on it.
Writing is a bit like cooking. Correct and exotic words are the equivalent of fresh and exotic ingredients. When cooking, a chef rejects rotting food. He knows that things that look bad and taste worse will not produce a dish that can be enjoyed by the diner. Those who enjoy writing reject misspelled words for the same reason.
You could think of your Friday English class as a culinary class. Bon Appetit!
We take these words and arrange them just so to create new expressions of ideas. The thoughts that I am expressing here have, no doubt, been uttered before countless times. However none have written anything exactly like this. This is a unique creation of my own.
When one ventures beyond shopping lists and text speak, one taps into the creation side of life. If you care enough about what you create you can become a literary craftsman. With craftsmanship comes pride. Pride from knowing that you have done well. That is no small thing.
Whenever you write something well, both you and your reader will be changed.
That is why I have an aversion to blatant misspellings and other bludgeonings of the English language. Everyone makes a mistake now and then (except for me, I’m perfect), but lack of caring is painful.
I apologize for my reaction to your post before your questions. It was a knee jerk (accent on the jerk) reaction on my part. You are trying to improve yourself and that is more than many another can say. Take pride in your efforts and satisfaction in the results. If any here start to give you grief send them to me.
Your friend,
Coyote
*squeeze*
Also, using correctly spelled words and proper grammar at every opportunity is practice. And practice makes perfect. What we do often becomes habit. So, why not develop good habits?
I used to be a professional proofreader. This can be a curse, or a blessing, depending on how you look at it: on one hand, I make it a point to be clear, concise, and readable in my own writing; on the other hand, I am forever correcting others’ grammar — in books, signs, basically everything I read — I edit in my head while I’m reading it.
I make mistakes all the time. I try to catch them, but they do get away from me sometimes.
I’s allmost allways purfect. I does grammer goodly!
Me’s the gooderest at that!
*vomits after that one*
*head asplodes*
*makes with the Sham-Wow’s*
*cleans up the mess created by LGB’s asplosion*
*noms a few extra brain bits, knowing she can afford them*
It’s not nice to eat her brain bits, but don’t they taste better than trolls?
Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That’s unpossible!
I never mak emistakes.
*says with a straight face*
Oh no! You never make mistakes!
*tries not to laugh*
*fails*
Bwahahahahahaha!
*arranges for a facial massage to soothe strained muscles*
Whew!
Thank goodness for that!
*head asplodes*
*x2*
I beg your pardon. I often fail to use caps at the start of sentences. But that is because it takes both hands (due to pinky/ring finger injury) and it really slows me down when I don’t have a whole bunch of time to waste. Youse guys types fast so the only way to keep up is skip the caps.
I can type as fast as any simian with two index fingers and a thumb.
You have always been a gentleman of good taste Coyote.
*watches for cannibals*
Love this analogy…”Writing is a bit like cooking. Correct and exotic words are the equivalent of fresh and exotic ingredients.”
I am off to become the bestest writeist/auther ever!!
*head asplodes*
*x55*
*tries to put LGB’s head together*
*can’t get everything stuffed in*
*invites ZA to help*
Sorry, your insurance only covers 54 head asplodes
We have to put something around LGB’s head to keep this from happening again. She won’t have any gray matter left!
Do you have any duct tape? Not only will it keep her head unasploded, but we can substitute any grey-matter deficiency with the stuff.
Welcome to Iron Author America.
Fear of the duck?
Is his name Buck?
Did he run out of luck?
That would suck.
Oh phuq.
need a fork?
That wouldn’t work.
Iron Maiden! Excellent!
*air guitars*
Okay, guys, I know it’s dreary and raining outside, but here on the blog, it’s a beautiful sunny day, the banquet table is full and the bar is open. Last one in the cuddle puddle is afraid of a duck!
*leaps into giant pile of floofy pillows*
*sinks into cushiness with a contented sigh*
*scares duck(or goose) away*
There. Now there is no duck (or goose) there anymore.
*swan dives into cuddle puddle without breaking a ripple*
It’s nice and sunny here today, Judy.
*squeeze*
Same here.
Gotta love that SoCal weather!
Cloral, what’s with the bragging?
I guess it makes me feel better about all the extra money I have to spend on housing.
Oh, that. Yes. Well… *squeeze* As bad as is it here for me housing is very affordable. I LOVE my house. I will miss it greatly when I move.
Where are you moving to? Somewhere nice I hope.
Moving back home … Phoenix.
*grabs a friendly duck & jumps into the cuddle puddle with it*
Clickie!!! If it works.
It’s not quite work safe, but only because of the lyrics.
Thanks Avis, those two are fantastic!
*dips into cuddle puddle*
*downs drink*
*dives in*
*squeezes all the peeps*
IT’S FRIDAY! WOOHOO!!!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
*sploosh!*
Oh thank goodness!
*Changes into retro Jams*
*Slides into puddle, squeezes all*
Ahhhhhhh!
Scott! I didn’t see you hiding down there.
*squeeze*
Big plans for the weekend? Are you beaming down to an alien planet on an expedition for dilithium crystals?
*squeeze*
Heh, I actually do have big plans for a change.
Friends are coming to visit for the weekend. Tomorrow we’re beaming to a strange place where people behave as if they are in the Renaissance!
Anything exciting for you?
PICS PLEASE!!
I’ll see about getting a few more up on the other FB.
Have fun!
Nothing much here, just dinner and drinks. You know, 12 beers, followed by taking off my pants and dancing naked on the bar. Just typical Brewski stuff.
*sneaks in a dragonsqueeze*
Hee! Just a normal routine Friday night.
*Dragon & Brewski squeezes*
I just love the way the duck looks at you in the ad as if to say:
“Yes, I am watching you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Must suck for the person who looks for self help via this web page.
This isnt a real phobia. Its a Gary Larson (farside) quote.
O really? Gee, I wish somebody would have told me that (more than once)!
how about you tell me; that way it all evens out!
Gary Larson was a person who drew Far Side comics for a living.
yes, I know. there were times when I thought he used my head as a model for his pooping pigeons… except he drew the bulls-eye where I have hair.
Did someone already say that? I mighta missed it. :\
What the duck? That duck on that add’s following me everywhere. Shoo, duck, or I turn you into peking duck!
Peking Duck, or Peking Roast Duck is a famous duck dish from Beijing that has been prepared since the imperial era, and is now considered one of China’s national foods.
and the authors name is duffey.. goddamn… i knew it..
Damn, nice catch! I missed that one!
*RIGL*
A Zombie Apocalypse is an event where a large number of zombies overtake one or more populated area, causing confusion, chaos, and often a large number of deaths.
Did you know I was mentioned by name in the movie Zombieland? Right when the girls get to Pacific Playland.
That’s pretty sweet!
Teh Failblog not likez mah comments, so I’m using another email.
Your comments were removed from an earlier fail because you used extremely offensive, inflammatory, and homophobic language. Unacceptable. If you don’t want to get booted again, I suggest you refrain from such ugliness.
Thank you DW.
Yer welcome!
Maybe it’s my clickie.
but you have no clickie to click!
Click was an American television game show based around computers and the then-relatively novel medium of the Internet. The youth-oriented series was created by Merv Griffin and hosted by (a relatively unknown at the time) Ryan Seacrest.
who?
*spends the rest of the day clicking on Alice’s name*
*can’t understand why her clickie doesn’t work*
That sounds naughty! Get a room!!!!!
Wait…THAT’S REAL? I thought it was made up in that Gary Larson cartoon.
Leigh Hart is a New Zealand Comedian who is better known by the pseudonym “That Guy”. He has made various appearances on New Zealand television, including Sports Cafe and his own show, Moon TV.
Crap.
Nesting fail!
I take it you took a new job with the TMI Service.
Someone had to fill the void by Fuzz’s departure.
I don’t know, it just seemed kinda funny at the time. I’m past it now.
This phobia was invented by Gary Larson for the Far Side Gallery Comics. So if someone has developed a fictional fear… fail.
Does ANYONE but us regulars read the @$&#!?^ comments?
What @$&#!?^ comments?
*flips through the FB Manual*
I don’t see anything about that here. ACK!
Heeeee!!! *squeeze*
Anyone who has a phobia can be considered a fail.
Most of them are probably attention whores, inventing some fake mental condition to just get attention.
mmm . . kind of reminds me of bulimia and having that said, I’m pretty sure someone feels offended. If so, perhaps you’re better of finding yourself a therapist, than getting offended by people on the internet.
I was afraid you were going to say that.
But at least you can smile about it
Or so I hope, because to every positive there’s a negative and vice versa
Gary Larson must be laughing his ass off at this.
Yeah, in fact, it was hard to have a serious conversation with him while having lunch. His ass just kept coming off and I got tired of picking it up.
You made me splatter spaghetti all over my desk with that comment.
I am sorry.
Want me to help clean it?
It’s okay. Paper towel did the trick.
I just gotta learn not to read failblog during lunch.
psst: keep shamwows handy
these ducks are everywhere
Gotta share: I just gave a man I’ve been interested in for a while my phone number.
*jumps up and down giddily*
First I asked him if he’d call me if I did and he said, “yes,” so I gave him my phone number.
*spins around in her chair three times*
It has been a long time since I’ve done that.
*collapses in a quivering heap*
Why did I put this on this fail?
MY COMMENT GOT ATE!!!!
I shall remain calm and try again.
The digested comment was: “Why not?”
Such spectacular wit.
Awww, so cute! Good for you. Good luck!
Thank you!
*squeeze*
I’ll keep you posted! Gotta go now, “work” is over for the week!
Gracie, that’s AWESOME!!! Congrats, you bravest of brave failpeeps!!
*squeezie*
Faked, this idea was stolen from a Far Side strip by Gary Larson. In his creations book he posted this strip with the fear, and admited he created the fake phobia just by using the genus duck name and phobia.
Finally, someone using their head for something other than a hatrack.
This is the result of a system called GoogleAdsense, which scans the page you are viewing for often repeated words and shows an ad based on that topic. In this case Google saw duck a few times, and thus you get the Aflac ad.
Ever notice why you usually see relevant ads? Especially on facebook and such?
what’s more of a fail is the fact that “anatidaephobia” isn’t even a real disorder. Gary Larson made it up for one of his “Far Side” comics. And everyone assumed it was real. So whoever made that website also fails at research.
Speaking of research; have you bothered to read any of the previous comments.
The best cure; bring a duck in and tell him its the one watching him, then let him kill it.
FarSide joke ftw…
Some one is afraid of ducks…
only me who immediately thought “wait, that’s a swan, not a duck”?? still a good fail though, just because of the sheer silliness of the actual phobia
actually, this is from a far side cartoon by garry larson. there is a man at a desk in his office, and out the window you can see that there is a duck watching him from the window of an other office building. the caption says “anatidaephobia: the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.”
This isn’t a fail. It’s a win.
Anatidaephobia (the fear you are being watched by a dunk) was one of Gary Larson’s comics.
(laugh people)
Haha, it’s a double fail because anatidaephobia is not listed in the dictionary!!!!!!
Well, *DUH*!
Obviously it is a made up word, and a bad attempt at it too. All it does is combine the Latin (scientific) name for the duck family (“Anatidae”) with the usual suffix from Greek meaning ‘fear’ (of), namely “-phobia”. The problem here is combining Greek with Latin. Not that that’s unusual, but for all other phobias (Arachnophobia, Agoraphobia, Xenophobia) both parts are derived from Greek.
Another problem is that of grammar, namely that a word is taken that is bent in plural (Anatidae) and then simply glued to the suffix, without changing the connection. Basically like writing ‘ducksfear’ instead of ‘duck-fear’. More correct would then be ‘Anatidophobia’.
If there were such a thing as ‘morbid fear of ducks’ then the most correct term for that would be ‘nettaphobia’, as ‘netta’ is the Greek word for ‘duck’.
I find the phobia itself funnier than the ad placement. Anyone else?
this is a win.
Lol this is a mega gr8 fail
Yes, this is photoshopped. Look at the original article…and the add covers half of the bullet points…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1249339/anatidaephobia_the_fear_that_you_are_pg2_pg2.html?cat=70
Erm. The ad in your “original version” link also covers half of the bullet points too.
Photoshop theory laid to rest.
FAI…
I don’t know what’s worse- the fact that there’s really a phobia like that, or that eleven people found that page helpful.
There’s not really a phobia like that. Do a search for every time the words “Far Side” appear on this page, and all will be answered.
Actually, this is an imaginary phobia created by Gary Larson
Yeah, but isn’t that a goose? Are you insinuating that people who fear being watched by a duck also fear geese? I have the strong feeling that you’re making fun of those who fear the ducks! Shame on you!
WHAT IF HE WERE TO WATCH DONALD DUCK CARTOONZ…oh agony…
This is a fear made up in a gary larson cartoon, just so y know
Contextual ad serving Win… or fail or chance entertainment
I smell something very fowl…. My 17-year old brother just farted!!!! XO!!!! HEEEEEEEEELP!
i have a phobia that some duck’s always there.
failing fail.. thats a goose if you ask me lol
Notice that the author is named Duffey (=Duffy)!!! lol
Or i have anatidaephobia???
P
WHAT?!?!?!?!? That’s not a fail!!! Anatidaephobia is just made up from a far side comic!!!!!!!
Yeah somehow everyone thinks it is real now
The more I read it, the more it impresses me. I don’t know how I ever worked without hilarious and funny things in our life, Life would be so much easier especially when there’s a jokes here and there. Being funny is nice because a lot of serious people are lacking with this kind of behavior that is why they are much look older. I would like to thank you for your outstanding blog post. Keep it up! Awesome!
What kind of fear is that? :s
Well what if the doctor is a quack?
That duck doesn’t give “a fac” about you.
wtf
more like viral marketing win
Just because it was made up by Larson… doesn’t mean that, somewhere, out there, a duck *isn’t* watching you.
(looks over shoulder, nervously)