Father Fail
You should have seen him when he was teaching yoga.
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wow…
More like D & D, probably.
Nah, consider Blizzard had the audacity to portray Night elf women degradingly as brainless boob-hopping dummies whilst knowing women would be playing the game, I think “wow” is spot on considering the article….
yeah, but was she really cute or did he just have beer goggles on? i think we need to see a picture of her before we decide if he was truly at fault or if he was acting rationally.
Okay, I’m not the only one wondering how hot the nurse is…I feel a little bit less ashamed now…
I can see it now, 10 years from now, the kid will ask his dad about his birth, and he’ll say it was magical.
I hope someone is making a scrapbook for this kid. Gonna be classy.
A scrap life.
“And this is your father leering at the nurse*
“This is your father touching the nurse”
“This is your father being lead away by the police”
” Oh now this is your father’s mugshot”
“Mommy, what’s the nurse doing to Daddy with that Ventouse machine?”
Thats all anyone has to say. Pretty bad that he has to grope up the nurse to actually get any action after he got his woman prego.
Are you kidding? You think he did it because he wasn’t getting any? Seriously?
He just wanted to make his son a brother or sister COME ON!
Nursing a hangover.
And got delivered to a jail cell.
I think he misunderstood the term “midwife”.
Even so, he shouldn’t have tried to forcep on her.
maybe he was just tring for the breast of both worlds.
I’m sorry I even breached the topic.
Don’t worry. Was not premature.
Your foetus is your mouth? I didn’t notice.
dilated to meat you!
*squeeze!*
Placen’ta meat you too!
*squeeze*
umbilicus this thread
you just gave birth to the train of thought.
Trying to stirrup trouble?
just laboring with the topic.
Just station yourself right here until the train arrives again.
PREGO 3-SOME FTW!
More like a 4-some at this point
Trying to pick up a meal for his kid, no harm there
BITTTYYYYY!!!!
Probably not even his kid.
There’s so much fail in this article I don’t know where to start.
Reading form left to right will make the fail less visible.
Like the watermark-covering-the-text fail?
more like dont know where to end XDDD
He was a labour pain but not the usual sort.
Talk about birth trauma..
Do we have to?
*grabs popcorn*
*Get’s his blanket and a bottle of soda*
We don’t need an extraneous contraction there – especially on this fail.
click click
Wakka Wakka Wakka, the baby gets to touch titty why shouldn’t I?
you can, but you may have to let gangs of big men touch your bum afterwards
*roffles*
That might have been his plan all along!
Try explaining that one to you cellmate.
he just had to touch one icky breast for all the free sex he can handle
I’m sure he did… but wrong titty.
A one-Manned assault!
To bad his little men couldn’t make it.
Assaulting a Women sexually while your with your wife… Looks like that marrige didn´t went very well so far…
…if my English teacher read your comment, she’d probably have a fit.
I has not ever have a english titsjer.
Say that again, and I will have you fed to the blogmonster.
Meh.
I’m twitching, believe me.
And what will s/he do when s/he finds out that you’re here and not in school?
But…but…it’s my half term holiday!
*bursts into tears*
Hmmm… okay, I’ll let you get away with that excuse. For now.
You do realize he’s hoping none of us checks, right? BondFan, you’re in Japan, right? Maybe I’ll call my friend over there who just so happens to be a high school teacher…
Or are you in college? Damn I missed that conversation. How old are you? lol
…Okay, it looks like you don’t really know my background. I’m 15 years old, and I go to a school in London, and have been a student there for two years now. You probably wouldn’t know who my english teacher is, so I wouldn’t try contacting anyone. Especially if they’re in Japan.
Ah, my apologizes. I attempted to watch the thread since most of you guys seem comfortable and very familiar with each other. I see I confused you with another person.
The return of the pointless “lol” at the end of a sentence! Woohoo! lol
Why pointless?
Not pointless. . .obviously nervous laughter. . .lol.
I text, so no smiles, it’s just a habit. No difference than those who add a smile to their comments. *shrug*
pointful lol!
lol… exactly!
“didn’t went very well” LMAO
I have read such an article like that before – somewhere in a previous Fail.
That’s interesting!
Meh!
Jinx!!!
jam! jam! jam!
Thanks MRN. Though I doubt I’d be able to keep quiet for long anyways.
*MRNFluffysqueeze*
grabs boobs *boobysqueeze*
So is this a rebirth of that fail?
I wouldn’t know. Was busy feeling up the nurse.
Does that mean you have a handprint on your face now?
its a gold star from the nurse
Someone asked Marilyn Monroe the Zen question “what is the sound of one hand clapping” and she said “Easy ..” and slapped his face ..
nothing turns men on more than the sight of a woman in labour
How about the sound ?
oh yeah!!!! that’s hot!!!
All that angry screaming. Yeah it’s sexy for us too.
She gave birth at McKay-Dees????? FAIL!
Supersize it!
bun in the McMuffin
♪ You deserve a water break today. ♪
I just read that the furthest you can get from a Macky Dees in the states is 172km as the crow flies and 233km by car….
Here it is graphically, including places that probably don’t even have indoor plumbing yet!
ht tp://www.psfk.com/2009/09/pic-where-in-the-usa-to-escape-mcdonalds.html
it looks like what I imagine hell it be like
I’m being moderated
It’s about time! :p
*squeezeandflees*
curses! come back here you!
*pursues*
*purses lips*
Pbbbbbt!
*tacklesqueeze!*
*piles on top*
BLob
woo hoo, and my daughter too!!! Mind the corn!
Woww…
1. he was drunk when his son was to be born
2. he “sexually assaulted” a nurse while his wife was there, and his was to be born
3. his wife apparently didn’t mind
4. he got arrested when his son was to be born
5. he missed the birth of his son being arrested
multiple fail no? there could be more
It was his sister
He was wearing no pants.
And ladies’ underwear.
He was such a cheater his wife was not sure if the baby was his.
That’s not a baby. She just ate too much flax.
Quick! Drive me to McKay Dees! I’m gonna have a baby!
*He* was such a cheater?
And SHE was such a cheater, she wasn’t sure if the baby was hers.
6. He lives in Utah.
7. He teached his “little man” first steps into adultery.
*Sniff Sniff* They grow up so fast!
8. It was just an excuse to be in the hospital to get supplies for the meth lab
9. He knew what he was doing so it was planned.
you have to know what you’re doing, that stuff will burn your face off!
ahem!
Good god, how ever did he ever obtain the Ark of Covenant?!
10. The wife liked watching her husband feel up nurses while she gave birth. It’s her “bag” baby!
redundancy explanation of multiple FAIL- WIN!
I’m astonished that the wife took this so cooly. I would have kicked him out of my life – probably before, as he seems to get drunk more often. Pregnant and in the middle of giving birth or not – I would have kicked his ass.
A wife fail as much as a father fail, not getting upset over this.
well try to live few months without sex looking at your wifes growing belly and then face a hottie nurse with big breast.
Then what?
Have another Bud Lite, scratch your ass and press the TV remote again.
Hous later he will fall asleep on the couch with a Bud Lite in his hand.
and then one day he will realise the true meaninglessness of it all and take up knitting
while I just gave birth while touching myself this morning, boy did it stick good
*stink
Please don’t try to breastfeed it, Granny. You’ll get your moobs dirty,
*stops*
Oh, isn’t he precious! He’s got your eyes. Wait, those are peanuts.
it’s a she! you can hold her if you want
*offers*
Y’know, when the aliens finally come, it’s going to be an embarrassment to be the same species as this guy.
Maybe they’ll leave us alone and just take the dolphins.
And the tomatoes.
damn gay sharks aint gonna take my seat on the mothership!
I’ll hold your seat Granny.
*tentaclesqueeze!*
Thanks Mookie
He he… you must work out!
so nice of you to notice
do you know of any good vets?
’cause my swans are SIIIICK!!!!
*makes swan shapes with arms*
*gooses*
*ducks*
*fowls*
The fact that this person is able to reproduce is a great demonstration of what’s wrong with the world. Maybe the aliens will be able to offer a solution.
Nice one.
That’s why copped a feel.
he^ *sigh*
Did someone call a cop?
You’re a dirty cop. It’s a cop out!
*accidently makes copies of this in note log book*
oh dear
*hides out of blast radius*
Gotta stop showing up before Brewski gets here.
I can only talk before and after school.
Good Morning all.
*squeeze*
But I have no school on Friday and Monday so…I can talk during any time of day.
two gay guys caught at the airport…
they had a false bottom in their suitcase
*GROANsnork*
I love it.
After being in jail for that, I would not want to go home and face the wife if I were him.
i like how he launched the assault
Perhaps he is blind and was trying to read her name tag?
Is it wrong that my first thought is “damn, he’s hot!”
I need to get laid.
alcohol + US law enforcement
Is it just me, or does the guy in the article LOOK like the kind of guy that would do something so stupid?
LOL @ hospital name
The judge has to show some leniency. I mean, How many hot women could there be in Ogden, Utah? First time should be a slap on the wrist. LOL
The hottest women in this country are from Utah. It like being in big boob heaven there! 9 outta 10 girls there are size C’s, and they all love the tight shirts!… so I can kinda sympathize with guy! He got a little excited about the birth of his kid, got overwhelmed with emotions, the nurse probably bent over showing a bit a cleavage and his instincts took over…just an idea.
Wow…real dirt bag.
what a FAIL(yer)!
maybe he needs an hystericalectomy?
Dammit, natural selection fails again! Gene pool fail!
Well that’s just wrong…
He couldn’t have even had the self control to wait after the baby was born? Or at least during?…
Stress can make people do weird things, so can titties.
WOW Whip um out Wednesday!!!
Anyone else notice the lipstick?
No.
The saddest thig about this? This guy used to be cool, he married my cousin a few years ago. Me and him used to be best friends. haha oh how far people fall
My my my. You know what really sucks about this? I know this guy. He married my cousin a few years ago, and he was a great guy. Just goes to show how far people can fall…
Lawl…. Ogden, Utah. That’s 20 miles north of me
Idiocracy, here we come.
my question is this: why did the wife rationalize his behavior? if he’s doing this to the nurse while his wife is there, is he really worth keeping around in the first place?
Do you really have to ask? It’s UTAH.
I wonder if he shouted surprise first…. If he did he should be ok.
Old news, but nonetheless it’s a pretty stupid thing to do.
It’s probably how he got the first girl pregnant to begin with…
Ha ha watch this its about it its so funny
lmao XDD “All shes gotta mention is the fact that he copped a feel on a nurses breasts while she was giving birth…He will never win another fight again”
It sucks to get arrested for that.
Is that Kevin Federline?
Just throw him in jail, and he’ll experience the other side of sexual assault first hand.
He touched some hooties breasts, skipped watching some crying something and had some free lunch for sure.
Looks like a win to me!
Are you for real? Please do the world a favor and not reproduce. Thanks.
What I don’t get is why the article mentions the name “Adam Manning”, but the picture says Chris Murphy…
The photo is copyrighted to Chris Murphy (note the little (c) thing next to it). He was the one who took the photo, likely.
Go me… before I read where it had happened I was thinking, “This sounds like something that would happen here.” and ta-da!
He was becoming jealous of the thought of sharing breasts with a baby. The double chest stack passed him in the hospital and he thought why not me? just a selfish bloke thing
Anyone else realize that FluffeeTalks did this? Oh wait, someone posted the video.
It was a big baby it needed 4 breasts.
WHAT A SCUMBAG PIECE OF SH*T LOSER.
I like how your really the only one that I’ve seen so far that thinks hes a loser.
This happened a few weeks back, and he’s been charged: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_13553967
You know the wife totally asked for this. It’s just like a woman to marry some guy so he’s not supposed to fondle other women, then have the audacity to get knocked and, horror of horrors, GET FAT, and possibly not put out for MONTHS! How can a guy possibly go that long without sex? It isn’t humanly possible. The nurse is also at fault, I mean, what kind of whore goes to work being attractive and having nice breasts?
You fail at jokes. Try again?
…Am I the only one a little put off by how they phrase “sex assault” here? I mean, sure, he shouldn’t be groping the nurse that’s wheeling his wife in labor and if the situation ends in anything but divorce the whole family should be escorted out of the human gene pool, but seriously. “Police said Manning had first tried to touch the nurse’s neck before launching the sex assault.” Makes it sound like he threw her against the wall and ripped her clothes off.
So what are they supposed to call it? And plus it is sexual assault. I mean men dont just walk up to random women WHILE their wives or girlfriends are in labor going “hey can I squeeze one?” I’m surprised she didn’t beat the hell out of him. I would have.
lmao I wonder if that pink mark next to his eye is that wheelchair being thrown against his face. XD WHO DOES THAT??? What is this his daily routine? Or did he suddenly wake up that morning going “I think I’m gonna touch a nurse’s boob today.” Sheesh. That guy’s lucky all he got was a Sexual Assault charge, what he should’ve got was that and a concusion or castration, either way would’ve served him right.
HOW DARE THEY TAKE THAT MAN AWAY FROM HIS FIRST CHILD’S BIRTH!!!!!
anyone else notice that in the picture his name is Chris Murphy and everywhere else his name is Adam Manning?