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No more nails?
You nailed it.
Screw it, time to just hammer it home?
I saw what you did there.
It’s awl going to be okay, kids.
*mumbles
I’ll file this under hand jive.
Isn’t that just a bit silly?
We’ve got to keep a level head.
Come on, silly is my favorit vice.
eeeeeeeeee!
I mitre forget I saw that. (For a price :p )
I’m all out of internets. Does that mean I’m screwed?
No, just ask Allan for the key.
I lathe to think what Allan does while he’s alone with his internets.
Thread tapping?
*Feels he’s getting chiseled in this deal*
Yeah… you should axe yourself what you’re getting into…
Oh, just get it over with and socket to me.
Can’t socket to you, need to file it.
All this suspense is gut wrenching.
Or just drill ourselves in the zen art of ‘serious’ :[
Don’t bolt before we get going!
Luckily all does not hinge on me!
That much is plane to see.
Not if you drill it right.
You nailed it Judy.
Do they use the same set(s)?
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/09/27/manicure-set-fail/
ACK!! Let us, then, hope not, perchance. If you will.
…per se, as it were.
Prezackly.
And btw, LGB, I just saw where you posted “It’s a small world…” as an ear worm.
Shame. Shame shame shame. Evil. Bad bad bad. Icky yucky phewie.
(good work
)
what a FAILure, that ampersand is nothing like it should be!!!
So it means i can go visit the happy place?
Be sure to ask for the “happy ending”
That’s funny!
this is in San Francisco, on Castro St.
565 Castro St
San Francisco, CA 94114-2511
(415) 863-2243
I’m guessing they got the name from ACORN.
i’l take five thanks
They appear to have made a robot hand out of cosmetics?
To terminate your manicure?
The Terminator? That son of a b!tch took Brewski’s pants.
Nope. That was me.
I knew you were my friend, Ms. B!
*squeeze*
*double :p*
*flees*
*dusts Brewski with DE*
Quite an infestation we have on the blog today. I think I’ll need to wash your pants, Brewski, just to be safe.
*readies camera and tripod*
Again?
He did say he’d be back, though.
It’s only robot fingers and they’re missing ET’s.
Brewski had it last.
Edward Scissor hands.
I took it.
Oh. I didn’t know. I took the “es” off of it, since there was only one, and next thing I knew, it was gone.
As I am a peregrine finch, I take issue with others “owning” them.
That makes sense to me.
Where’d the Mexican Waiter come from?
Mexico??
*cackles and runsawaywithquickness*
*brrrrroom-chee*
He got him yesterday. WN gave him to 5 eagles in the shopping cart stunt fail.
There SaygnightGracie is that better?
But seeing you on FB, I understand why people would want to have a peregrine finch.
Ya know, I don’t get here as often as I’d like, but EVERY TIME I AM…Brewski is missing his pants AND has the ET Finger.
*Starting to get a very clear picture of Brewski*
Hee hee!
It’s not just every time you’re here. It’s EVERY day HE’S here!! (Just not all the time he’s here)
Even sometimes when he’s not here.
True, true.
Umm, no? I haven’t left a comment since your bread post.
Hmmm…. maybe it was Leila. Or Judy.
I demand to see a lawyer.
You object? Again???
You object, me subject!
As long as you don’t reject.
Or interject.
I claim innocence. Perhaps … Rooster?
It’s not his manner of speech. So to speak.
Maybe it was Jenny. I’ve noticed she posts anon on your site.
Oh yeah! That’s a possibility!
Yeah…what she said!
It WAS you, wasn’t it!?!
That depends. Did it upset you or make you smile?
I am just kidding. It was not me.
Go read it, it made me smile. Clearly it made me wonder who it was!
Are we talking about the FB blog or your clickie?
My clickie.
I see I’m not the only one afflicted with a dirty mind.
♪ My clickie, my clickie, my lovely lady clickie. ♫
Hmm, that doesn’t quite work.
ROFL!!! You guys.
I will now go and press on your clickie.
Ooooohhhh! LieLA!
It was so good for you that you totally mispelled my name. heeeheeeeee!!!!!
“Clear picture”??
You didn’t see DW’s wall did you?!
Believe me, I’ve tried to keep my pants on, but events always seem to conspire against me.
*looks accusingly at Gracie, Judy, and Ms B*
Only in your universe do events conspire to get your pants off. Things like that don’t happen in my life.
Those events have names. Gracie, Judy and Ms B.
I’d try to deny it, but I think it’s been caught on camera.
A few times.
At first I collected those photos in an album, but soon realized they’re just too many, and now they’re in shoe boxes under my bed.
*hides scissors behind back*
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Well, goldfish don’t wear pants.
Rule 14- never advertise the size of your opening.
*sigh
have they learnt anything?
What if it’s large enough to clap in?
Wrong type of job for hands.
At least they didn’t say that it has teeth.
Is it hard to shop for?
Only if it’s on a tight budget.
Mine’s tight.
Is it liquored up?
It’s baconed down.
As long as it’s not running around.
Covered in glitter? If not I’ve got the glitter pens!!!
Sorry, but I just have to say . . . “Disco balls?”
*Runs away*
Disco balls? You showing off, Marius?
*plays with Marius’s balls*
What? They need to be adjusted so that they catch the light properly.
This roleplayhornychat is seriously warping my brain (even more than it was before). I just saw Ms B’s comment as “glitter pen!s”, and I know she doesn’t have one of those.
Gack.
*hangs head*
*plays with WN’s dangly*
I step out to do some work and everyone is having a ball without me?
*Sulks*
I bet it’s the teeth that make it so tight.
*braces for bombardment of “THIS ISN’T A FAIL!!!” comments*
“THIS ISN’T A FAIL!!!” it is a win *5 eagles pulls out umbrella to shield from GBF head assplodes.
Fuzz would be non-plussed by this one.
Not really a surprise there.
Hand Job? GRAND OPENING ???
*eyes czuhc suspiciously as he jumps to the front of the line*
*snorkity!*
At my age prostate problems are not considered a laughing matter.
*dribbles some on shoes*
*hands czuhc a ShamWow*
Best thing for a strong protate is to masturbate alot, it strengthens the muscles and gets good white blood cells to it.
You misspelled potato.
Masturbating a lot makes for a strong potato?
It curtainly does!
So that’s how Idaho has such famous potatoes.
And we finally know the secret of Irish agriculture.
The vicar would know….
If only they had known during the great potato famine.
They probably did, but didn’t have the energy to take action!
Now how hard can it be?
.
That really sounded odd.
Not coming from you, czuhc.
Is that where the phrase “If you don’t like it you can lumper it” came from?
Couldn’t I just masturbate once, but really hard? I’m a busy man.
That sounds painful.
And energy-consuming.
But rewarding.
Just use 2 potatoes.
♪ One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes, four . . . Five potatoes, six potatoes, seven potatoes, more? ♪
OVERKILL!
Are you sure they will fit?
It says GRAND OPENING.
OK
*shrugs*
*Cross over franchise*
Fish and chips.
Joe’s Crab Shack?
That is in San Francisco…maybe it is supposed to “fist job”. Grand Opening!
Throws up “be”.
*hands bottle of Pepto-Bismol to Skratdaddy*
*hands Skratdaddy a ShamWow for the “be”*
S’okay, Skratty, it’s natural.
It is?! Then something must be wrong with me!
*begins to sweat profusely*
Why? What are YOU throwing up, BFF?!?
Er, well…
*blushes*
*whispers in LGB’s ear*
Have you had that checked?
*whips out stethascope and iodine*
Stick out your tongue and say “ahhhhhh”…
I did, and the hospital forbade me from coming within a 500 m radius of their building! Now I have to wear this bloody hazmat suit when I sleep!
Hold on a minute
*hands GBF a clean hazmat suit*
It may be easier to sleep without the blood hun!
Thanks y’all. This Squirrel flu is a biatch.
A flying squirrel?
*Opens umbrella*
Swine flu
Bird flu
…and now Squirrel flu?
What’s next?
Cat scratch fever?
The rockin’ pnuemonia and the boogie woogie flu?
♪♫I left my heart…in San Fransiscooo♪♫
*slaps the bejeezus out of Tony*
If you don’t knock that off, I’m going to give you the mother of all earworms.
Try me! I’m sure it won’t be a Whole New World for me anyway…
*flees*
♪♫Chantilly Lace, that pretty face….♪♫
*sings daintily in BFF’s ear*
♪ It’s a small world after all,
♫ It’s a small world after all,
♪ It’s a small world after all,
♫ It’s a small, small world! ♪
Mwuhahahahaha
♪♫Twinkle, twinkle little star,
how I wonder what you are…♪♫
*sends Avis AND LGB to the naughty corner*
Here are some cookies while you think about what you have done. Come out when you are ready.
*takes out red crayon from pocket*
*draws little lava cakes with prohibited signs on wall*
*sings softly to self, clearly audible to entire room*
♪♫This land is your land, this land is my land….♪♫
This one’s the popular one at my house right now.
*clears throat*
♪ Pat-a-cake
Pat-a-cake
Baker’s man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Pat it
Roll it
And mark it with a “B”
Then toss it in the oven for Baby and me! ♫
This is the one my girls have been singing lately.
♪Just stick a banana in your ear,
Stick a ripe banana right into your favorite ear♫
♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round,
round and round,
round and round,
♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round,
all through the town ♪
♪♫If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!♪♫
I thought we decided it was too tight for that?
That’s why there’s BaconLube™!!!
*sings at top of voice*
♫ 100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 100 BOTTLES OF BEER!!♪♫
♪♫Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie ‘em in a a knot?
Can you tie ‘em in a bow?
Can you throw ‘em o’er your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your. ears. hang. low?♪♫
♪ The sun’ll come out, tomorrow
♫ Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
♪ There’ll be sun
♪ Just thinkin’ about tomorrow
♫ Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
♪ Til there’s none… ♫
♫If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning,♫
♪I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land♫
♫I’d hammer out Danger! I’d Hammer out Warning!♪
♪I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters♫
♪Alllllll, over this land♫
♪ I’m Henry the VII, I am
Henry the VII, I am, I am… ♪
– or –
♪ This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on, my friends… ♪
♪ My eyes have seen the gory of the earworm of the blog;
It is trampling out the visage with the grapes of wrathful war;
He must loose the tunes alighting in his rendible waiftt gourd:
The bleach he’s pouring on! ♪
♪♫Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie ‘em in a a knot?
Can you tie ‘em in a bow?
Can you throw ‘em o’er your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your. balls hang. low?♪♫
You know you hurt innocent bystanders when you do that.
Like me!
*washes out ears with soap*
I tried Brewski. I give up with those three.
♫Clang Clang Clang went the trolley!♫
I noticed that, too, from the phone number. Anyone know exactly where it is?
I heard about this from friends before I saw it on Failblog. Apparently it just opened in San Francisco and is near the Grateful Head hair salon.
slogan – “The first manicure with a happy ending!”
Heh Heh- pull my finger. Again. Yeah just like that. Again.
*snork!*
Now do the other hand. Again.
Doesn’t that illicit a completely different type of response?
Yes, it probably elicits an illicit response. So don’t tell anyone.
I can’t wait
:happy:
Not yet; at the end of your manicure, weeeeeeeeeeeeee
Isn’t that a bit messy?!
It has already got a bit messy in here-
See ratio of shamWow to comments for details.
what a grand opening!
More of a semi-grand opening
they left you with a semi? take it back!
*takes it back*
well its a bit of a waste of money to jack yourself off straight after you had your nails done
Unless, of course, you’re wearing gloves.
Or you claim the moisturising effects override chipping.
there is nothing better than shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree with a perfectly manicured hand
oh dear sorry
*snorkcollapse*
*pats Granny on the head*
*snork!* @ “shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree”
That’s quite a colorful euphemism.
-I won’t be making a comic about that one-
*thankfulsqueeze*
*goes to fetch mind bleach*
Bring back extra, I get the feeling we’re ALL gonna need it today.
*agrees*
*obtains truck-loads of mind bleach*
I’ll come back with some more.
*starts measuring out gallon sizes doses*
*gets in line for her dose*
Single or double?
Better make it a double.
You might want to wait ’til Czuch tells us what it really is. I’m not entirely sure I want to know though.
*buys stocks in brain bleach*
*browses the Urban Dictionary some more*
Oh dear.
We’re done for, now.
*runs away screaming*
Excuse me, bleach inspector.
*takes a sample*
*sniffs*
Now who told you this was mind bleach?
BondFan! He told us!
What is this world coming to? ACK!!!
*runsawayscreaming*
oh bodfan! how is he?
I wish I could spell…
Hey look! A tadpole!
So.. I want the most experienced manicure in here. And a room.
What about a feet job? Hand and foot should be made together.
Papyrus Fail!
Oi.
*rereads*
oh.
*wanders off whistling a happy tune*
I finally figured it out that it was about the font, but still don’t understand why the font’s a fail.
*ponders*
*is confuzzled*
Yeah, I don’t understand either. I mean, I get that it might not be the best choice for a punny name for a nail salon, but otherwise, it seems fine.
Yeah, what’s next?
A hair salon called “Blow Job”?
A restaurant called “Eat Me”?
A pet store called “2 Squirrels 1 Pup”?
2 Squirrels 1 Pup??? That’s the filthiest thing I’ve ever heard!!!!!
Ah! I knew something was bugging me about that picture. I couldn’t see any other fail in it, apart from “job” not being in title case.
I mean, it’s a decent enough joke, if entirely groan-worthy.
Papyrus is an offence punishable with arson these days, isn’t it? (A little short of the wholescale demolition of the entire building that’s the sentence for using Comic Sans, but still pretty forthright)
+1 lol for crappy font choice.
yeah, the font makes it even funnier. xD
*SIGH*
Midterms oh how I loathe you!
Poverino.
Bellina.
*goes in to have a relaxing mani/pedi*
Never mind…
*flees*
*dusts Leila with DE*
*cough!!*
*cough!!*
*cough!!*
*POUNCES Gracie and tickles her mercilessly*
Vibrating chair included!!!
Win for me! – that is as long as it’s a nice lady ‘handling’ me :]
:[
Seriously?
Right! One Super Dominatrix coming up.
TO Funny
I love all of these- but this one is good
karen
Dear Karen:
We’re glad you’re enjoying our witty reparteè.
Sincerely,
LGB
Um, I think she was talking about the fail?
Dear karen, Brewski, and LGB –
PARTY AT WHOANELLIE’S PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh. Wait.
*tosses ‘o’ waaaaaaaaay up into karen’s post*
*sniff*
Y-you didn’t invite me? I even played with your danglies!
*sobs and runs away*
What fail? This is a win.
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Thats a WIN in my books.
*makes a bonfire out of ^^ books*
Toasty!
Anyone brought any marshmallows/chocolate and graham crackers?
*flees*
*sighs*
*dusts Moomin with DE*
Oh crap!!! I forgot about The Moomin.
*runs after TM*
Wait! Wait. It’s just this bag of poofy white things. Are these related to you at all? At least tell us that before you disappear.
*takes out really long forks with wooden handles*
Safety third! Woont want to get burnded…
By the way, Leila, you might not want to stand too close with that new avatar of yours.
…but I am already cooked (and melty on the inside) … what’s the harm?
I think I need to change it again. It’s not good to stare at chocolate oozing out of chocolate and a bunch of strawberries all day.
*salivates*
*considers nomming self*
*salivates*
*moves a little closer to Leila*
*takes off 3 inch heels, hikes up skirt and runs for her life*
*bops LGB gently on the nose*
We don’t eat our FailFriends!!!
*rubs nose*
Oh wait, it was supposed to be a “boop”, wasn’t it?
Fiddlesticks.
I hope it was good for you.
*lights cigarette*
*leans back in chair*
Yes. Yes, it was.
*snorkity*
Would it be horrible if I crawled around on my hands and knees and licked up Leila’s snail trail everywhere she goes?
Dude, what does mine say?
Ew! I can’t believe they made a sign in Papyrus.
thank you! that’s the real fail here. especially in conjunction with that generic fugly chancerymess over at the side. all they need is a comic-sans flier to reach critical mass and cause a font-induced head implosion.
This place is in the Castro District of San Francisco. The pun was most definitely intended. Not fail.
Now I know everything.
Fail, shmail. We come here for the roleplay hornychat.
…and we do it so well.
*streaks through thread squeezing everyone*
Hey, I have a reputation to keep!
*squeeze!*
Weeee!
Did the Weeee! happen as a result of the *squeeze!*?
Too much coffee?
Too much something…
Riiiight, sure. Whatever you say, Brewski.
It was a naked squeeze, Leila.
Those are the best kind
*fullyclothedsqueeze*
*alsofullyclothedduetobeingatworksqueeze*
*torches both WN and Gracie’s clothes without harming them physically*
OOOOOPSY!!!
*squeezes Leila*
Thank you! It’s so nice to not be alone in my plight!
It’s always more fun with company!
*runsawaywithanextremequicknesstogetnewclothes*
Ooooh!
‘splains everything.
♫Oh yes, they call her the streak,
Fastest thing on two feet.
She’s just as proud as she can be
Of her anatomy.
She’s gonna give us a peek.♪
I ♥ Ms B but I don’t wanna see her No Nos.
Sounds a little negative there, Leila ♀ ©
Double-negative. Which means YES YES to me!
A most excellent grammatical point, Brewski – my compliments!
Ok fine! When is the next streak scheduled for?
*streaks through thread and squeezes Leila*
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
I guess now, Leila.
*checks off ‘Watch Ms B streaking’ off the To Do list*
*saves squeeze for Ms B till she comes back*
Oooooo! I’ve never gotten a foot massage from a prehistoric squirrel before.
*takes off shoes and Halloween socks*
*gets in chair*
*wiggles toes*
Um…are you sure you want to expose yourself to some squirrel flu?
*thinkswithaquickness*
Yes, I’m a little horny from all this roleplay.You’re right, Leila. Guess I’ll pass on the ‘ssage until you’re better, Skratty.
LOL – reminds me, GF told me yesterday that a fellow nursing student refers to her BF’s equipment as “Japanese Sausage”.
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????
Well, he’s Japanese…
*roffle*
Glad he’s not from Vienna.
*gets out “Smell of Nuts” massage lotion*
Once you go Squirrel you never go back!
Wow. You just took it to a whole new level.
I say we form a committee and vote.
*votes*
*takes a bow*
*gets out comfy chair, settles in with popcorn*
*waits for Brewski, or Judy, or whoever has the E.T. Finger*
Watch out for Judy!
Hee, GMTA Avis!
*removes E.T. finger from pants pocket*
*inserts*
*fleeswithaquickness*
Wait! What happened to your Yard O’ Beef?????
K…………FTW!
Agreed. This is a Fail Fail! Get a grip Failers! LOL
maybe they just want more male customers???? men would line up just to see if it is a perk.
Or a jerk
Or a quirk
*snerk!*
Or a smirk
Engineering to Capt. Kirk!
That’ll never work.
He might go berserk!
Handling dilithium crystals is a nice perk.
nah, too much work.
I don’t get it. Where’s the fail? Looks like a win to me.
There is no fail.
Depends entirely upon the customer, actually.
The Fail is an illusion.
*waves hand in front of fail*
*logs response*
*waits for inevitable “Hey, this shop is in my home town” post*
Actually…now that you mentioned it, down the street, where I live…
Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no!!!!!!
Just think – it could be worse. This could be our Fail-video of the day.
Ahhhhhhhh
*echoes “aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh” in a somewhat deeper voice*
You are so manly WN!!
*bats eyelashes*
*watches tiny little bats flying outta Leila ♀ ©’s eyes*
OMG, that’s SOOOOOOOOOOO cool!!
I did that just for you!
*goes to see an eye-ologist*
*pounces the tin can*
*squeezesJenny*
HALLO!!!
Hello!
Um Leila? I don’t know how to tell you this but, um… You seem to be leaking chocolatey goodness everywhere.
*gives Leila ♀ © a quick lick, and – alas – goes back to work*
Jenny, I really need to change it don’t I?
Mmmmmmm. Chocolate! /Homer
*drools*
*SchoochesAwayFromGracieWithMuchConcern*
I’ll take two
Fine…but you have to wait your turn.
do they have giftcards, or can i just drop him off there for some piece and quite over at mable peabodys chainsaw repair?
This is a winning spa IMO
You should see the gun shop.
It’ll blow you away?
I think you’ve got it wrong! It’s a total “WIN!”
o you tourists. it’s deliberate. castro?
WIN !!!!!!
Can somebody give me a guide to understanding FAILs from America?
It’s because this one’s not funny to me. I Don’t get it.
*And yes, i’m portuguese.
Things like this make me giggle like butthead when he hears the word “crack”.
And yes, I’ve just dated myself there. I’m okay with it.
This is WIN.
Yes, it’s a new spa in the Castro neighborhood in San Francisco.
We’re famous!
Rub and a tug and your nails done !
Holy shit! I was just there! I took a picture, I thought it was really cool. And I’ m sure no one but me has said this, but that’s in San Francisco. And it’s not a FAIL it’s a total WIN! Go SF!!!
total WIN!
That’s in the Castro!
I wanna grab that the custard platypus by her love handles and go wild. Then I want to bust my load all over her unnaturally red hair.
looks photoshopped to me
Is this place right next to Phucket Thai Restaurant and Pho King restaurant?
Not photoshopped. Not fail either. It’s intended to be like that. It’s on Castro St. in San Francisco. To be honest that’s really not that out of the ordinary here.
*imagine a link posted here to a video complaining about the continual reposting of the video complaining about a restaurant’s jazz music*
*imagine a video complaining about pointless comments*
Oh! The Irony!
Fail on so many levels, the name and the fact that the ‘hand’ only has 4 digits
where is IT???
it’s in san francisco – in the castro…
Those failblog guys have serious problems seperationg fail from win.
Hand manicure logo fail.
i love this website its full of fails and failhounds
i agree flubber some of the fails are wins
its annoying everyone leaves this fail chat room as soon as i enter it (deoxyribonucleicacidfai)l
I actually got my nails done here! It’s in the Castro in San Francisco.
Best. Manicure. Ever.
did you get a great hand job too?
How much is it per job?
Jobs start at $20. If you want a job with lube (Gun Oil), it will cost you 35$
I think this is a WIN!
This salon is in San Francisco in the Castro district.
I DON’T GET IT
Srly? You gotta be young^^ it´s like a five finger good time ;P
This is on Castro street in San Francisco. The gay neighborhood. It’s meant to be a double entendre!! Not a fail at all, but a WIN!
Ohhh I get it… cause the J in job isn’t capitalized!
wait you seriously dont get this??
The only fail I see in this picture is the horrible photoshopping of that sign.
Heyyy, I just saw that place. It’s on Castro st. in SF
PR Stunt i bet that place does good business.
I’m guessing we pay in cash, correct?
…or win!
happy ending 5 dollah
i swear to god i saw this store!!
its in castro,california
Ahahahah I drove by it yesterday. It’s in the Castro
Note: the real fail here is that the font is Papyrus.
okay, this is actually not a fail. it is purposely called this because its in the castro and if you sf natives or anyone knows what im talking about, then this seems really lame.
I live right across the street from this place. This is definitely a WIN.
There isnt a fail! if you think the hands fail, those are manicure tools. AND SPA, its not that much fail!
I passed this today, no joke.
Hah. I live by this store. It’s in the castro in san francisco, california.
(as a graphic designer) i loathe the papyrus font.
no amount of kerning or leading will fix that shit…
Hate to ruin the fun, but this is intentional. It’s in the Castro District of San Francisco..
lmao grand oepning –>grand cloesing
lmao grand opening —–> grand cloesing
(-_-;)
is definitely a fail.
Damn! Just arrived from SF and took this picture, hoping to submit it to Failblog. Looks like someone beat me to the punch!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5476164&id=564681471&ref=fbx_album