Police Chase Fail
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In Soviet Russia, you chase cops?
*cops a feel*
*click!*
in post soviet ukraine fail comment fails you.
in Soviet Russia, Auto GrandTheft You.
U Sure?
Pretty sure… im there now. So cold.
*feels a cop*
*makes sure my good side is toward DW’s camera*
*click!*
All your sides are good, ns!
Awww – thanks! That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!
Let’s hope someone will top that before your day is over!
Well — my little girl just told me over the phone that she wants to give me a big hug and kiss when I get home, and that she loves me. ♥
Awwwww! I love phone calls like that!
How sweet! Me, too, Ms B!
Let’s make a club out of it.
*assembles club*
Anybody got some Elmer’s Glue?
Erm…I just have this deck of cards, sorry.
Fine! Suit yourself.
Well spade, GS!
I’ll club sandwich that….
*Joker Voice*
AWWWW who am i kidding!? They’re ALL good.
penis
What an ugly car.
Didn’t used to be.
*sigh*
I hope he has insurance.
And a neck brace.
That comes after.
Health, or auto?
Yes.
Yes.
Teeeeheeee!!!
JINX!!!
*chants Ms B, Ms B, Ms B*
Whew! Thanks for that, Judy.
Anytime, babe.
♪ I got you babe ♪
♪And the beat goes on….♪
La de da de di,
La de da de da!
Hello all!
It’s noconspiracy.
Ooof!
*runs to fluffy*
*gets coffee cup filled with H2O and drops fluffy in it*
Are you okay?
Whew!! Quicjk thinking Leila. I could hear the end of Faith No More’s “Epic” playing in the background.
Oops.
*takes extra j and passes it to left*
*takes extra j and saves it*
*squeezes Starfish cuz she missed him so much*
fluffy isn’t responding. Does anyone know fish mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
*squeezes Leila for an extra long time*
I know fish mouth-to-mouth. Now where is my mouth again?
Fluffy!!! Wake up!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WAKE UP!!!!!!!
*yawn*
Man.. can’t a fish take a nice long nap anymore?
Well, do you have concrete shoes?
Uh…
*flips Starfish over for a quick exam*
It’s cold out ok?
*wipes soup from computer screen*
You owe me a new PowerBook.
Sowwy.
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF? No comments, and I’m not the first?
Nope! And you deserve it for posting that as a comment.
Yeah! So there!!!
I guess someone overtook you.
*flutters eyelashes*
I resemble that remark.
Nice job there, sweets!
Theng-Kew!
Whilst poking around a bit today, I discovered that Failblog is somewhat famous for its comments section. Apparently we rank just under YouTube in the “idiot troll” department for firsters and the “did he die” trolls.
Not exactly the honor desired…
Ooh, are we rolling our eyes up here now, too?
*agrees with the reason for the eye-rolling, though*
What’s everyone looking at?
You could have stopped with, “…famous for its comments section”, but no. You had to tell the whole truth. We could of had a wonderful, glowing feeling about our witty banter.
I know, of all the things we could be known for, that’s what people remember!
It kinda makes me sad!
*glows anyway*
*checks Aja with geiger counter. shakes head*
Yeah, but those are just the whiners who never have the nads to read past those trollish comments to get to the good stuff.
*hug*
No Aja. You’re GREEN!
That’s incredible!
*cries at “of” as well as the state of the nadless who can’t read to the good stuff*
Bwahahahahaha! Instant karma!
How would the vicar go about insertion as far as instant potatoes go?
With a turkey baster.
Ooooh!
Eeeew!
Yeah, I’m going to hell for that one.
Here’s your handbasket. I added glitter!
Why thank you!!
*climbs in and adds ribbons and lace to the handle*
*jumps in basket with Avis*
*squeeze*
Company is always a good thing.
Is that one of the handbaskets that WN put his danglies on yesterday?
You want to play with them again?
Those were his danglies?
*goes to fetch basket out of the trash*
Well, he said they were everyone’s danglies, but I think he just wanted them to be played with.
*checks*
Nope, my danglies are right where I left them, so they’re not everyone’s.
*curls the ends of the ribbons*
He deserved that.
Wow, you are so full of human compassion. Mother Theresa would be so proud.
Bless him, then kick him in the nuts.
Are you trying to dislodge his nuts?
Can I watch?
*stands by with SlapChop and bowl of brownie dough*
You’re gonna love his nuts??
I just want some brownies.
Got all the nuts I need.
I’ll say.
I’d say Failblog has one of the finest congregation of nuts around.
Good, now for some nutcases.
Would you like a nuthatch for your nutcases?
Birds can be very therapeutic.
“RIGHT! *flipping through the book* The nuthatch, the nuthatch, the nuthatch, here we are! *rips page* There you are! NO gannets, NO robins, NO nuthatches, there’s your book!”
Can you say concussion?
Concussion!
I knew you could! Good job!
/sarcasm
YES!!! i hate pigs
Self-loathing is SO counter-productive.
Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Well we’d have to be talkin’ about one charming motherfu*kin’ pig.
At least ten times as charming as Arnold from Green Acres.
Idioto!!!
That’s gonna leave a mark.
On the marked car?
That will buff out.
Instant compact car.
I’ve always wanted one of those.
I wouldn’t recommend that method to acquire one.
Good advice.
*logs in book*
and carry lots of duct tape. never know when you might need it.
It’s compact, but it’s not a Smart car.
The cop still smarts from compacting that car
Blues Brothers – 2009 (Recesion Edition)
Actually this video does sort of remind me of the horrible accident of Blues Brothers 2000.
:[
*pokes*
Heeeeee!!!!!
*pokes back*
That’s where the ET finger went.
I beg your pardon!! I do NOT have the E.T. finger!
You may not have it but you seem to have had it. Its okay I won’t tell anyone about you and Leila.
*Winks and smiles*
*Skips away happily*
*looks at Avis*
*glances at Emp*
*looks at Avis again*
Let’s get him!!!!!
*hands his E.T. finger to Leila*
Have fun!
Did you clean it?
Do you want to hold him down while I tickle him, or vice versa?
I know too much.
http://www. youtube.com /watch?v=ZPBvFXf9Q2U
Keanu Reeves part explains the above reference.
I will hold him down.
*gets E.T. finger from Brewski*
What do you want to do with this now that we actually have it?
:ick: I don’t want anything to do with that thing!
*Shakes off leila and runsawaywithaquickness*
*Runs into pole beside the officer*
*Suffers amnesia*
Heya pretty ladies, how you doin?
*squeeze*
I know too much.
www. youtube.com /watch?v=ZPBvFXf9Q2U
Keanu Reeves part explains the above reference.
Sorry about the double post.
LMAO!!!! I love that!!! Little tortilla boy…
*snerkity*
one strong pole that was
That’s what she said.
So this is what they’re doing with our tax dollars?
Yes. It’s a derby of sorts.
I prefer a good bowler.
That pole is in quite a precarious position.
There should have been a cone!
He shouldn’t have passed the pace car.
NEW YORK CITY!
This reminded me of the old police dog fail. The sound in that one made me laugh.
OT here.
Ok, so my little guy turns 4 soon. I asked him the other day what he wants for his birthday. His reply is, books. What kind of a 4-year-old asks for books for his birthday!? Don’t get me wrong, I think his love of books is fantastic, but I have to wonder, have I broken him?
You have broken him in all the right ways. You should consider that a sign of great parenting and a smart kid.
You have most certainly not broken him — don’t worry your pretty little head.
*applauds for Ms B ♥*
I second the applause!
*hugs for Zack*
I third it!
*hugs to Ms B, for raising a reader!*
And I forth it. Ya dun good!
Aw! Thanks, everyone! Sometimes you feel like you’re not doing enough, but then moments like these sure help.
Raise up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he won’t depart from it.
/wisdom
Ms B, I was one of those kids.
Erm…I’m not sure if that’s a testimonial or a warning, but I generally turned out okay!
Kids will be interested in anything they see their family and peers do. So if you read books they’ll be interested in what that’s about. My little niece who is 3 visits regularly and she has been crazy about books ever since she was old enough to crawl over to the bookshelves and grab them off.
Mine is 6 and has a list of 12 books that he wants me to buy. Total $72.45 at the parent/kid book fair tonight.
He gets 1 book there and a trip to Half Priced Books for the rest!
Shame on you! By that age, he should be asking for normal things like crack and vodka. Tsk! :p
Buahahah!!!!
He needs to go to time out until he changes his mind Ms B. Kidding.
If he is anything like my stepson who is 16, I must impart this wisdom upon you. You will need a huge sum of money. You can sell your organs or your most prized possessions because you will need it. LOL!!!
My stepson lives and breathes books. He will even re-read most of them. He reads four books at the same time most days. The HP books – he got them @ midnight and is finished by 5am. Needless to say, my house is full of books. He was devastated when we said he had to donate some.
It’s a good thing but you have to prepare for it.
Parenting WIN!
*notices name*
*is disgusted*
*leaves without a comment*
*looks to the sky with great drama*
Nooooooooooo. I’ve been rejected by a failpeep!!!!!
*scurries to find funnier fail-peepier name*
I don’t reject … I, um … ‘nothing’ you.
It’s ok DITHOTX. Leila is a Texas transplant and has had a hard time of assimilating into the culture . It isn’t personal.
The only culture here is that in yogurt. Even then it’s questionable.
Oh, I don’t know, there’s plenty of bacteria there!
Girl, you’re telling me!!!
Another thing, their roaches here are the size of a football with wings!!!! ACK!!!!
Seen the furry spiders yet? They’re the size of small dogs.
I actually thought they were dogs ’till I saw one a bit closer.
We watch our 4lbs yorkie very closely in case she gets carried away by one of thos evil things.
*wonders what would happen if they tried to cross-breed*
I’d need to carry a spear with me wherever I went if they get that big. I don’t like spiders.
Oh lemme just say this…EW!
Did I tell you the yorkie was the flower girl?
Awwww! That’s cute!
Gracie, flame throwers. But, they may scurry off to a house, so use extreme caution.
That’s what I want for xmas…a flame thrower.
!magine airquotes around the word culture.
Don’t mind her. Some of us in TX are actually happy here. We have God, Guns, Beer, and Bevo. What could be better.
In Texas, Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms is a convenience store!
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms – who’s bringing the chips?
*Hands over bag of delicious Doritos Zesty Brain Stem*
Hee! Welcome, DITHOTX. Whew, that’s a mouthful. Maybe a new name is a good idea!
Yes welcome DITHOTX. Your name reminds me of this scene from Peewee’s Big Adventure.
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QltlctqfY4E
hmmm. peewee herman earworm makes an interesting welcome gift. uh, thanks scotty!
Hey DITHOTX, welcome!
Please keep your name just the way it was. We like to confuse Brewski.
*heads to the Alamo*
*looks for the basement*
I woke up in dithotx once…
Amen
Yes ma’am. I’ve been out of touch for a while, but now I am sort of back…Work thingy!
*squeezes all around*
*takes Leila aside*
Remember, tolerance and understanding are our guidewords here, dear. Even for your fellow Texans.
Here, have a cookie. Now go play nice with the other kids.
*swats Leila on the butt and sends her on her way*
Eeeeeeeeeeep!!!
*hangs head in shame*
Yes ma’am!
If it makes you feel any better, Leila, I accidentally gave myself an earworm making my own name.
I’ve moved a lot in my life and I know adjusting to a different culture is hard. Texas is a whole ‘nother country, you know. I just came back home after being stationed in California, which was a whole ‘nother planet, so I sympathize.
*offers hug to failpeep* – oh and cookie? no spam, i promise!
*takes hug*
*returns one in good faith*
…but I will pass on the cookie. It may be laced with you know what and you wouldn’t even know it.
I was in Phoenix for more than a week and drove on I10 and got honked and flipped on when I was trying to make an exit. This HUGE SUV was in the exit lane and wouldn’t let me (in a small BMW) get over despite the fact that I was using my signal (he was not) but HE got impatient with ME cuz he couldn’t roll on top of me to get to the other lane. It was a harsh reminder of how people are here and I instantly wanted to pack and move back home.
The I10 here in Houston. Duh Me!!!
You’re right cookie was laced with secret ingredients. . .love and friendship! (feels nauseated at sweetness)
I-35 recently tried to murder me in Dallas with a 5 car accident and using your signal in CA apparently means, ‘block me from moving in front or behind,’ so I sympathize.
A good reminder to Drive Friendly Texas! (I let people in and wave thank you, too, so not all Texans are verhicular-homicidal-maniacs.)
I drove on I35 and I lived! We need that made into a t-shirt.
I never understood the rudeness on the roads here and I guess I never will.
(But all Bostonians are.)
Brew speaks true.
The vessel with the pestle hold the brew that is true.
A watched clock saves nine!
@ Avis – They broke the chalice from the palace, and replaced it with a flagon with a figure of a dragon.
The pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
*squeezes Nightshayde*
I love that movie!
Harm one hair on her head and I throw myself from the highest turret.
Hee! I now know which DVD to grab the next time there’s nothing on TV that I want to watch.
I introduced my girls to it, and they love it too! They have very good taste in movies.
One of my favorite movies!
*squeeze!*
I love you people! Every time I tell people that he is one of my favorite actors, people look at me like, WHO? They have no idea who Danny Kaye is?!?!?!
Sadly, it is the truth. I was raised with a healthy ration of Danny Kaye, thankfully.
One of the great humanitarians, was Danny Kaye.
I ♥ Danny Kaye.
Don’t know who Danny Kaye is? But White Christmas is such a holiday staple!
I ♠ my garden.
Seconded.
*has nervous breakdown*
*looks to the sky, falling onto knees*
I just want to be looooooooooooved!!!
Has anyone suggested gravatar.com to our newly found friend from T…from here?
I believe you just did.
Ummm. Emp? You don’t have much of a leg to stand on there.
? Just saying that Ms B has done an exceptional job. I am not seeing the underlying meaning?
Sorry, thought you were replying to Leila’s objection to the new guy’s long name. Sorry again!
Nothing but love from me Avis.
*Squeeze*
So how are ya? and how is the gentleman caller?
Rooster is doing well, as am I. We’re looking forward to going to St. Louis over Halloween!
Rooster? Was I not here for the nicknaming ceremony?
I dubbed him that on my blog. AND he came by here to comment on that fact. He’s good with the nickname.
That is great I am glad you two are happy. Are you planning to fly south sometime soon? (AKA a vacation together or grander outing?
Well, St. Louis is south, just not that far south! Nothing else in the works at this point. Though, I’m trying to work out how much a trip to New Mexico would cost in mid-spring.
Make sure you go from a tuesday to a tuesday. So you get the best rates on airfare and hotel, since that is the slow days for both the hotels and airliners. (Tip not included)
Think trains. I hate to fly. No, the irony is not lost on me with that one.
And my family and I have friends out there, we might be able to finagle a place to stay for free!
*In freudian accent*
Zo tell me where the feer of ze flying has come about from ya?
Well I do know of boat cruises you may enjoy. Around Mexico.
On the plus side (North), maybe you could go skiing in the winter up here? Maybe I could show you around the Greater Toronto Area? Blue Mountain is a great place to visit all year round and don’t worry they have lessons if you have never tried before.
*Notices missing word*
If you have never tried skiing before, or snowboarding.
*Changes . to , around Mexico.*
New Mexico. And there is no chance whatsoever of getting me to go skiing. If I did someone would have to report the news of my tragic death to all of you guys here. Hurtling down the side of a mountain (towards rocks and trees) with strips of wood strapped to my feet in such a way as to make me go faster seems like a bad idea for one who is as klutzy as I.
I saw the New, I was thinking of somewhere warmer. Oh if you manage that on the bunny hill that would be quite a feat Avis. Considering the 5 degree incline.
Trust me. I can do that. I can be sitting on the floor, and five minutes later trip and fall. And no, I don’t have to get up to do that. Me? I am klutzy!!!
Hello Klutzy. Welcome to failblog. You look just like someone I know named Avis.
:p
I think you have done the most horrible thing in the world.
You have made your son a better person, shame on you, how could you?
My love of books came through force, my mother made me read all the books in the house during my summer break. I had to read a book before playing video games, each day, needless to say I didn’t play that many video games but I also noticed I didn’t want to so much whenever I was in the middle of a book. So in the end I read every book in the house. Well I have to say that I thank my mom all the time for having made me read, imagination is such a great thing. The only downside is seeing my favo(u)rite books being butchered when making movies.
Well done and a grand BRAVO! for you.
I think you have done the most horrible thing in the world.
You have made your son a better person, shame on you, how could you?
My love of books came through force, my mother made me read all the books in the house during my summer break. I had to read a book before playing video games, each day, needless to say I didn’t play that many video games but I also noticed I didn’t want to so much whenever I was in the middle of a book. So in the end I read every book in the house. Well I have to say that I thank my mom all the time for having made me read, !magination is such a great thing. The only downside is seeing my favo(u)rite books being butchered when making movies.
Well done and a grand BRAVO! for you.
I hear an echo!
He used the “I” word.
Tsk!
Tsk!
My eldest son had -amongst many others- read the last four episodes of Harry Potter by the time he reached 7,5 (Didn’t want to read the first three because he “had seen the movies”). A few months ago we were reading the same book (The Graveyard Book). He’s 9 now and is currently reading LOTR. I’m just saying…IT’S FANTASTIC! You can discuss your favourite books with your child! Enjoy it!
Don’t feel bad, Ms B. My oldest (10) is asking Santa for an easel this year. Not a plastic easel with a dry erase board on it, a real art easel so she can use it to sketch and paint.
*sniffs*
She’s getting too big, too fast.
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
~ former stepfather of 14 year old daughter
Ha! Wait till they ask for the car keys.
(Incidentally, my expatriate daughter has made contact.)
Well done Ms B and well done Little Guy! Be careful, you may have a genius on your hands.
Niece #3 is like that. She’ll be 14 the end of November. She’s a librarians asst. three times a week at school. The other day she was taking books out of the system that were to be restored and sent to schools without enough books. She came home depressed by the books that were checked out only once. She looks on them like they are lost puppies and wants to take all of them with her.
Woah woah woah, what’s going on here? The traffic lights above look like they only have 2 lights each, but then some of those traffic lights on the side have like 5 lights on them! In what crazy land does this video take place??
The world of Left Turn Lanes!
Some people have no idea what a left-turn lane is. Like most of the pedestrians in Chicago.
Well, here in Des Moines, our bus drivers would believe the pedestrians jump out in front of their buses…I kinda feel sorry for them…
The bus drivers or the pedestrians?
Yes.
*snork*
The bus drivers. DART has actually gotten to the point of banning left-hand turns downtown, all because some pedestrians think they own the road. Right of way, yes, but buses can’t stop on a dime…much like semi trucks. I blame the pedestrians in some of those accidents…but not all…
You know, you’d think people would realize that in the event of bus vs. person, the bus ALWAYS wins. Like bicycle vs. car, but on a grander, bloodier scale. I used to think the bus drivers here were just plain surly. Then I started paying attention to the passengers and the pedestrians.
Well, some of them are, but you’re right. If I’m getting ready to cross the street and I see this big ol’ bus getting ready to turn, methinks I’ll wait to cross. I value my life more than my right to cross the street.
I ride a bike most places I need to be and have been on the light end of a car-bike interaction more than once. Although I certainly don’t recommend deliberately trying it, I’ve only received a few minor cuts.
Haha, so it turns out I’m an idiot. Where I live there are 5 lights for a left turn lane, but they are arranged one on top, then two and two:
o
o o
o o
with the left bottom two being left arrows. I guess it just seems like less when it’s arranged like that.
Here’s a fun coincidence: I’m a bus driver!
Only the one on top should be in the middle, like this:
__O
O __O
O __O
And my insurance company still refuses to buy my explanation that poles just jump right out in front of your car.
(see Powerline Fail – 19 Oct 09 for further evidence)
Maybe if you lived in Poland it would be more believable?
“To Swerve and Deflect”
*leaves squeezes taped to the windshield as I’m too busy to stick around today*
*smooch for my dear Dragon friend*
*unpeels one squeeze from windshield*
*pockets it*
*skips away*
*takes all the remaining squeezes*
*hides them*
Muahhahahah!!!!!
*tackles Leila*
Give me my squeeze, woman!
Ooomph!!!
Okay. Okay. Hold on a second.
*retrieves a squeeze for Ms B from hiding place*
*flashes Ms B with flashy thingie*
Good thing I was wearing these!
:p
Draaaaaagon’s gonna get yoooooouuuuu!
What??? He specifically said *smooch…* was for DW. Nothing said about the *squeezes*
You really think that makes it safe?
It…doesn’t????
Well, it WAS smart to leave the *smooch*, taking that would’ve resulted in a barbecue. Staring you.
A barbecue staring? What is that, like a contest?
Welcome to the First Annual Failblog Barbecue Staring Contest! In the red corner, wearing the steak-covered apron, is our champion, Chicago’s best, Avis! The challenger, in the vegetable apron, is “Leila The Terrible”. Now, let’s have a good barbecue and commence to staring!
My stares tend to cause radiation burns. I think I’ll pass.
I’m just in one of my moods today (giggles to self.)
*squeezies!*
*squeeze!*
My pregnant sis-in-law put on her fb status that she finally found something to clam her stomach down. I couldn’t resist! I asked her what her stomach was saying.
And her answer was…? *still giggling*
She’s one of the biggest party poopers I know! Just a simple, “so I can’t type with a 2-year-old on my lap.”
*giggled for hours after*
Whoa! Rumble in the Blog!
*sneaks in*
*takes smooch*
*sneaks back out again*
I still cannot think of anything witty to say….
*hugs vlad*
it’s okay, we can’t all be as quick-witted as the regular failpeeps. i’ve been refreshing failblog for days just LMAO at those guys!
*squeezes Vlad and DITHOTX*
Hey guys. Nice to meet you.
HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!
Wait… I don’t get it.
Vlad, you’re not a vicar are you?
No no, that’s a different type of impaling.
Hey, everything we say isn’t always witty! Heck, half mine are sheer nonsense!
Nice to have you both here, btw. Cookie?
*offers tray of peanut butter cookies*
I would be okay if you offered spam cookies until they check out.
Jinx!
Mmmmph!Mmmmphhhhhh!!!!!
*sighs*
Leila, Leila, Leila!
Better?
Just remember to say “no” to the spam cookies!
Cookies?!
*snatchnomnomnomnomurp*
One of my co-workers was in Korea for two weeks. She brought back some interesting cookies, including ones that were like a whole-wheat cracker with sugar on top. Those had an interesting flavor.
*takes cookie, eats it, then vomits*
I didn’t like the way that tasted — sorry!
You know, it’s the polite thing to do in FB to clean up after your own vomit. Here’s some ShamWow.
thank you for the cookies! apparently my name has caused hatred and disgust amongst some failpeeps. your cookie makes me feel better.
*wipes away tears……mmm good cookies! spam-free!*
I apologize.
Good bye sweet failpeeps, back to (airquotes) work (/airquotes) I go.
*squeezes for failfriends old and new*
*squeeeeze*
*starfishysqueezes*
*sniff*
It’s sad to see him (airquotes) go (/airquotes).
What?! Seriously, I hope not. We try to welcome anybody, as long as they are respectful and tolerant. We sometimes have poked fun at the Texan stereotype, but I also poke fun at myself and New England. It’s not serious. I see Leila apologized.
*puts on 10-gallon hat, oversized belt buckle in shape of texas, and snakeskin boots*
*squeezes DITHOTX*
*walks off into the sunset*
*snork*
Who hasn’t made fun of Utah?!
I have NEVER made fun of Utah. And neither have any of my wives.
*snorkgiggle*
That’s so bad…
It could be worse. You could live in Nebraska. Wait, that’s where I live.
*shoulders slump dejectedly*
Ha ha! My salesman has to go out there soon. He called it the “armpit of America”!
That’s a negatory on that one, Ms B – as Brewski will vouch, the armpit of the world is Lewiston, Idaho.
And the gate to hell is just upstream from there.
I think we’re the breadbasket. Or is that “beer gut?”
Are you rocking it?
Rocking what?
Clickie.
Play it loud
Erm…Brewski…*cough*
Your pants…they, um…*points*
Maybe you should take the belt buckle off???
*tries to run away*
*faceplants in the dusty soils of the Rio Grande valley*
*crawlsawaywithaquickness*
*chuckling so hard, can’t help falling to the ground!*
*joins Judy on the floor*
As long as SOMEONE gets pulled over one way or the other….
Man I saw the title of this and was hoping it involved a mylar UFO.
Mylar UFO fails are
way.
Well, I always keep my lar UFOs in my cupboard.
It wasn’t a UFO. We knew what it was.
It wasn’t the “ballon boy”.
The balloon boy was a lie.
Much like the cake.
Munch I like the cake.
*yells in court*
It’s a lie!
*yells from the stand*
You can’t handle the truth!!!
“What now? Are you going to ask what my favorite color is”
~Jack Nicholson quote from “A Few Good Men”
Not to ruin all the fail fun, but does anyone know if that cop was ok? That’s the kind of accident that leads to a quick neck-snapping death, a la Dale Earnhardt.
Cop was wearing a five-point safety harness.
So was Dale. The big difference was Dale hit a wall going something on the order of 180+MPH, where that cop was doing a little less than that. The HANS device wasn’t necessary.
The cop may have been sore for a few days, but I’m sure he was otherwise fine.
For us zombies we are already dead so no worry.
Only the living need seat belts.
Yep. Aren’t we infamous bad drivers.
Dale didn’t die.
It was a conspiracy.
*runs away*
I know! My husband is a cop and that video just made me cringe. We had a young officer killed in a traffic accident with another cop earlier this year.
He was pretty seriously injured, and had to be transported to a regional hospital, but he’s back at the local hospital now. That seems to imply that he’s probably going to make it.
Excuse me! Do you have a flavor?
Why yes. I taste like Buttery-Rum.
Stubbed Toe — That video is from Davenport Iowa. With a long standing rep of FailCops. I have to say, they got MUCH better after the new chief took over, but, there are still tons of sloppy cops left.
*writes citations for following too closely, exceeding the posted limit, and passing on the right*
Thanks Mr C!
Fnnkybutt — Go ahead and feel free to laugh your ass off, you can even pee a little if you like. On the news he was in a bit of pain, but still complaining very loud as he got pulled out of the car.
That little blue reply button to the right, use it!
Ummm, we have these things? In the lower right corner of each comment box? It’s a reply “button”? You can use it to reply directly to an individual.
okay, I clicked it… now what?
Yes.
*replies*
Some people are so literal!
Or out right BOLD
I’m pretty much figurative.
But I do scream a lot.
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ilvy7Ob6fZ0
WN’s silent screams are deafening!!!!
post win!
Pull your pants up please!
Crack kills.
Meth murders.
ouch that sucks… someone is on administrative leave
Wow, cops wreck too. Whodda thunk!
No. They don’t. All that was photoshopped.
Pixels!!!!one!!!111!!!!eleventy!!!
It’s so obvious. The shadows are all wrong.
Exactly!!!!
The sound is off-set to.
Not to mention the five-foot tall bunny that they forgot to shop out in the… *counts slowly to himself* 76th frame.
Okay, failpeeps. I’m in the mood for a scary story today. Inasmuch as I also like to be amused, kindly do so.
I’ll start:
It was the kind of cold, damp night that makes you wish you had stayed home. Bobby’s skin crawled as soon as his foot left the safety of his doorstep. Just then, he heard a noise from further up the street. He turned his head toward the noise and….
He saw Jane coming out of his bushes. She obviously sneaked out as her parents were calling for her. She motioned for her to join him and go on a little adventure. Off the went to….
… sneak into the old amusement park. It had been closed since they were both 9, but the rumors in school said that some of the rides still worked. They quickly went to Jane’s car, got in and drove off. It was long until…
they reached their destination. They headed straight for the old ticket booth. It was there that they were supposed to find the brass eagle claw. The rumors were that it was left there by the old caretaker who, upon his deathbed, swore a curse upon anyone who …
…rubbed the brass eagle claw against their genitalia while drinking bad rum from a dixie cup. The curse would …
instantaneously transport them to the site of the old Haunted Cave ride. There, they found themselves stapped into a rusty old ride car, pointed toward the open, gaping mouth of the cave. They felt the motor rev up, and the track started moving, taking them ever closer to the open abyss. As they entered the darkness, they heard…
… the wet slap of someone limping through the damp cave. No matter which way they looked, they were unable to penetrate the darkness, or tell where the steps were coming from. Bobby held Jane’s trembling body closer as the the steps grew near. Suddenly, the ride sped up, as they whipped around a corner…
…the most horrible, offensive stench overcame them. Burning their eyes and nostrils, the putrid smell permeating their clothes and skin, Bobby and Jane sickened at the vile substance. As the car continued on its haunted journey, the stench was almost unbearable and they seemed to be approaching the source. A faint green glow began to increase in intensity, revealing…
…a hideous figure, in the middle of the tracks! It was standing there, without pants, leering at them both! Bobby and Jane screamed in terror, as the figure…
…reached a crabbed, clawed hand out to touch them. But just as one stained, cracked nail brushed against Jane’s hair, a blood-curdling noise stopped him in his tracks. He…
…turned to look and saw the creature that was causing the nauseating odor. It appeared to be a 6 foot tall, medium build person, except he was covered in dirt, had blood dripping from his mouth, was moaning and screaming incoherently and suffered a noticeable limp – a zombie! The zombie staggered forward, causing the hideous figure to step back from the tracks repulsed. Poor Bobby and Jane were trapped, held in by the security bars on the ride. The desperately struggled to free themselves as the zombie approached. Right at that moment,…
…the zombie tripped over Jane’s cat as it solicited a petting. The two emperiled adventurers had mere seconds to wriggle free from the ironically named “security” bars. Bobby tugged one hand loose and found his grandfather’s trusty pocketknife. Working feverishly,…
…he was able to whittle a petrified hot dog into a perfect, if miniature, replica of an M1 carbine, scaring the confused zombie all the way back to his grave in New Jersey.
As they lay there trembling at the horror that almost befell them, Bobby couldn’t help but wonder: Why did Jane have his grandfather’s trusty pocketknife in her bra that evening?
*applauds*
Bravo! Bravo! Author!
OMG, I can’t stop laughing after reading that part!
*gigglesnorklesgigglessnorkles*
motioned for him. *Sigh*
to join her. *Sigh sigh*
*motions*
Up THERE, Emp. Work from where Scotty left off.
Please stop it with the ads.
Well, seeing as we all know cops arent allowed to be wrong(must maintain authority after all), then the pole MUST have been doing something illegal. Loitering maybe, or maybe conspiring to interfere with an investation. That pole might even be an ethnic minority in that area, who knows.
A pole infestation?!
How many Poles does it take to stop a police car?
Just one.
To be Pole-ite is to let the car go first.
“Penis”
i can’t get the 1 tombstone on the same line.
That’s OK – at least you got the Mexican Waiter named Sergio in there, and that’s what counts
Doesn’t the cop remember? No ramming!
No slamming?
Test cramming
Nest spamming
Quite damning
Wow! Shamming.
Done hamming
Silent lambing.
Light scamming
stop hamming!
white lamming
glitter glamming
Pow bamming
Uncle Samming??
*hey I’m new.
Hi-gh humming.
Wow. A woman driver. BIIIG Surprise there. *rolls eyes*.
*rolls eyes for an entirely different reason*
*gets it and joins in*
Ooh, are we channeling DW’s students? I’m in!
That’s about a full class, I’d say.
*thwacks brainless Brian*
*thwacks brianless brain”
*steps back*
*notices all these eye-rolling smileys are synchronized*
*starts getting scared*
Ahhhhh!!!!!
So that’s what a brianiac is. Must be from Denver.
ha ha ha Shadow Sniper Zombie look at what we both wrote at 1:09
nice
Said Done Hamming when you said Stop Hamming.
What has BillG got to do with this?
Gate is at the bottom of everything.
Gates is etc. …
this isn’t really funny at all
That’s why most of us engage in hornyplay polechat.
Agrees with above statement.
Agrees to the agreement.
Agrees to the agreement agreement.
Agrees to agree to the… crap! I lost my place.
Keep trying. Hopefully your next comment will be.
Our taxes dollars hard at work-in a body shop in your town!
I just dont see where the person was they were ‘chasing’
That will teach you to pass on the right…
I forgot to say,
Hello today,
So greet and say,
“Hello!” if you may.
*agrees to squeeze*
Having nothing to do with anything on this site…
I. Hate. Speakerphones.
They speak kindly of you.
What?? I couldn’t hear you due to the echos! And you kept cutting out everytime the guy next to me coughed!
*snerk*
I suppose closing the Director’s door (the meeting is going on in his office just a few feet from my desk) would be frowned upon.
Ahhh, I see.
*dials proctologist on speakerphone to discuss colonoscopy results*
Repeat after me in a loud voice: HEY YOU WITH THE CALCIFIED CRANIUM! SHUT THE DAMN DOOR! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO er… WORK ON OUR COMPUTERS!
I can’t hear you, NS. What’s all that background noise?
Heh. They’re done now.
At least I wasn’t trying to do anything important (more important than posting on FailBlog, anyway). I’ve realized the only reason I’m at work today is to keep from burning sick hours. I had a nasty headache earlier, but meds seem to have knocked it back. Now I just want to take a nap.
*wakes up*
*blinks sleepily*
No worries, sweets…I took one for you.
ZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz
I may have to go into a conference room & take one my own darn self. Sooooo very sleepy!
*silent lambings nightshayde*
*is jealous*
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….*snort*..mmpphh. Whozzat? Whut? Zzzzzzzzzz…
*walks into room holding lemon tart*
Best watch out AA, do you want DW to see you with that blond floozy?
We’re going to share the blond floozy.
Ohhh, is their a light dusting of powdered sugar on the blond?
*waves at friends I haven’t seen on here for days*
Waves back at Jenny — How ya been?
but who was chased?
*random topic*
We will fire the ‘laser’ at capitol we want. So ready the ‘laser’…
They were probably racing to a donut shop. and one of the cops forgot it wasn’t super mario kart.
*tosses turtle shells at cop car*
Possessions are fleeting…
There’s this commercial that keeps playing on A&E these past few days, it plays this creepy high pitched voice singing “♪When I die, I’m gonna take the whole town with me♪”.
Seemed relative to your comment, but that might just be me.
♪This is our time! Get up off the ground!
Take what is mine! We’re not going down,
Without a fight!♪
*dreams while sleeping*
*dreaming that the video is removed from the internet completely and everything goes back to what we call normal*
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
*growls menacingly in tiny throat at stoopit video*
I love this post:
*jams paper in CD drive*
*tries to get it to go through the wire*
*breaks the laws of physics and emails paper through the wire*
*scientists are left baffled*
♪15. M1A1
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Hello?♪
♪You say goodbye, and I say hello. Hello, hello! I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello♪
♪We’re Gonna Get Hi Hi Hi
With The Music On.
Won’t Say Bye-Bye Bye-Bye Bye-Bye Bye-Bye
‘Til The Night Is Gone.♪
♪I ain’t happy,
I’m feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I’m useless but
Not for long
The future is coming on♪
Did he die?
♪The day the music died.
So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin� whiskey and rye
Singin�, “this�ll be the day that I die.
“this�ll be the day that I die.”♪
♪And in the streets the children screamed,
the lovers cried and the poets dreamed.
Not a word was spoken,
the church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admired most -
the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost -
they caught the last train for the coast,
the day…. the music … died.
And they was singin’
Bye, bye Miss American Pie,
Drove my chevy…..♪
(you get the idea)
Excuse me sir, you are stopped under a red light. That is a $200 fine.
Chicken and broccoli.
*Squeeze and sniff*
Ahhhhhhh
*zombie moan*
*squeeze and sniff*
Does it come in brain flavor?
Nope but he is gonna have some awful gas when that chicken and broccoli digest.
Oh.
*random topic*
Austin Powers:
Yeah! Baby!
~~Pew~Pew~~
You’re dead.
*goes back in time*
I go back in time and bring another Austin Powers to stop you
*comes back*
Suprise! Austin look -a- like kills the real AP. He got shot with MOOBS!
*goes and gets the real past Austin Power*
GET IN MAH BELLAH
*mini-me noise*
I distract you with my sexy uptightness. RAWR.
One of the things they need to do in the cop job interview psychological exam is ask “Are you a dumbass cowboy who thinks they are invisible, immortal, and bulletproof?”
It might have weeded this guy out.
I am invisible – nothing can stop not seeing me.
Well, at least it wasn’t a wheelchair this time.
clicky for new comic
was he high on donut?
sometimes they just playing. ruin the job of others.
He really messed up his car.
Epic Fail
that pole-iceman is quite the stuntman
hella dumb…
And this is why you don’t undertake people through junctions, particularly if you’re in the turn-right lane… and you’re both in cop cars proceeding at high speed, liable to make a turn at any moment.
(reminds me of an accident I had in the spring, actually… i’d be in the left hand car… but both lanes marked for turning off, mine also for going straight ahead… ok, here we go, turning… OHCRAPTHEY’RENOTTURNINGWHEREDIDTHEYCOMEFRO— *smash* :/ )
Did the lightpost survive?
WTH was he trying to do, overtake the other cop? Well he succeeded.
Total carnage! They let the fugitive escape!
This kids, is why you don’t pass on the right. I’m glad to see cops setting such a stunning example of how to drive..
haha—A defensive driving course pop-up ad appeared when I was watching this…..
you should watch the video without sound…you notice things that just really make you question why she actually made this. the first thing that through me off was the close up of the picture(cuz that makes since.
That’s definitely a win!
There was no reason to even try to pass.
how come the stupid posters at the beginning never talk about the fail, might as well just say first, losers
GTA IV??
Ha, I thought that was a huge puddle of water at first.
lol, this happened a few minutes away from my house. full story here: http://www.qctimes.com/news/local/article_97fc3912-b4ef-11de-8c21-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story
That is one seriously strong post, In Australia they have special bolts on the base, that are specifically torqued, so that if the post is hit by a car, the pole just shears off, and lessens the impact.
You Wasted ‘Em!
F!#$, I just lost the game. Happy now?
not necessarily a cop fail, more of a pole win.
Strongest light post ever, didn’t even flinch.
Crap…
You’d think cops would be trained how NOT to drive into traffic light posts.
Typical crooks and cops apparently, being fail prone tards.
this is why you shouldn’t eat donuts ad drive