Shopping Cart Stunt Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST
A little suspicious on this one… Jackass wannabes across the board. These chicks appear to have no clue here either!
Those chicks are a couple of idiots!
It looks fake to me
i think the guy in front lost his virginity at 0:11
Just think, eventually there will be a last time you have sex
I find it funny that its from myspace…like that wouldnt be obvious
Do not trust embedded clickies!
CLICKIES are EVIL!!!!
Don’t anthropomorphize clickies, they hate that. Just ‘Rule #1: Cardio’ away.
Yes j-roll, you are the first place douche. Congrats.
656th! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
Holy crap! Can I have your autograph?!??!
Oh no!!!
Oh yes!!!
Should we not give them a little credit for wearing helmets?
Dude in the white helmet seemed to faceplant nicely even with a helmet though…
Hmmm…
*takes credit away from dude in white helmet*
Nownow…lets not be too harsh on him. Maybe stupidity lies in the genes…
Stupidity is like diarrhea…it runs in your genes! or Jeans…stupid joke! Doesn’t work in writing!
He could have really done with some knee-protection too though… Ouch!!!
I knew from the start it would be a broken jaw thing. Helmets were a good idea, but they should have had face protection as well.
Just another way of going to hell in a handbasket…
Given the face-plant … no. In fact, I suggest a point deduction.
“That was the plan! No, really! It was!”
*plans a sneak squeeze attack on velvet*
Why plan? Just execute the action.
What did the action do!??
Unspeakable things.
It was a mubledeemumble in the mumblemumble and they were mumbledeemumbledee.
…and that’s only the half of it.
The action accidenty the verb.
*dangles a participle from one basket*
*plays with the dangly*
Hohoho
asda
*foils Brewski’s plan*
.
*SQUEEEEEZE*
*ska-WEEZE*
Your first comment ^^^ is destined to power a fail!
Oh, definitely, V!
*squeezes all*
Hi Ms B!
Oh wait…
*SQUEEZE!*
Hi Judy! I could use a Monday squeezefest!
*squeezes Judy and Ms B*
*squeezefest with everyone on this thread*
*jumps in the squeezefest of it all*
Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
*feels squozen*
*all inclusive SQUEEZE!!!*
*Squeeze* to all the above and even the finch stealer lol.
*joins squeezefest and SQUEEZES everybody*
*gives 5 eagles another cat*
*SQUEEEEEEEEZES virtually everyone, everywhere*
*hands 5 eagles et al a Mexican waiter named Sergio*
*steals the “es” away from 5 eagles’ finch*
*Approaches squeeze-fest and offers polite squeezes to all*
*leaps in & squeezes everyone*
“Leaps in”? What happened to “materializes”?
*squeeze*
I can’t just beam everywhere, I’ve got to get my exercise somehow!
So THAT’S why Mr. Scotty got a tad…erm…corpulent later on!
*squeezes past vast corpora*
*does a squeeze end run*
Corpora? Plural?
*lip trembles*
So nice, I had to name it twice.
*superMondaysqueezyfestforalltheFPs*
Wait, did AA just squeeze everyone’s end?
I had the means to justify them, you know, to make more room for everyone.
That is the be-all and the end-all!
*makes swan out of Brewski’s foiled comment*
Oooh! Pretty! Can I have it so I can add it to my sparkly stuff collection?
Does it have pants on?
No, that was from the sparklies and a glitter pen!
See, I did my part for the economy! I bought mine gifts!
*gives Brewski a GOLD star for his efforts to stimulate the economy*
You guys are putting out a lot of LCB bait here!
Heard she is now reformed. Could be strictly rumors however.
faceplant win!
Methinks somebody has been watching too much “Jackass”.
My suspicions as well.
Dude seems to have gotten a little action in the end. No pun intended.
No pun intended?? WTH??
But seriously, he got some head action there..
Don’t they know better? No hitting from behind!
…or ramming from the front.
Okay … pun definitely intended.
He rode the dude in addition to the cart.
“If you wanted me to get on my knees, all you had to do was ask.”
hehehe.. “Down, boy!”
Failpeeps do not eat other failpeeps!
Not yet, anyway.
You wouldn’t!!!!
I think he would. I suggest you scoooootchawaywithquickness.
When I am dead I won’t be able to scoooootchawaywithquickness.
I am thinking I need to assign someone to scoooootchMeawaywithquickness once I am stiff and all.
We need a FailBlog FailPeep Will.
I’LL DO IT I’LL DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
Okay then, in the case of my eDemise, WN is my eExecutor and will distribute my ePossessions as he is instructed on the eWill.
eExactly
I get all of your eKitchen-ware, right?
Avis: I can’t think of anyone else better to have my eKitchen ware and appliances too. You can even cook all the animal you want on them.
Thankies!
I’ll bequeath my flocks of feathered friends to you, since I doubt you’ll eat them!
Of course I won’t eat them. Happy you trust me with them.
Is WN keeping track of all this?
I’d like to bequeath all my sparklies to LCB, and my socks to the Admiral.
I suspect we may need to divide Brewski’s pants amongst everyone (somewhat) equally.
But… who gets the Dragon grog?
I vote for Dragon Grog to be locked away for all eternity.
I second that.
Oh, like there’d be any left anyway!
Those would socks would be rung with great joy in remembrance. I’d like to formally bequeath to you our shared property of the bell tower and four poster, and additionally I’d like you to have my used duct tape collection, festoon garden, spatula, and race car.
No! What if some intrepid adventurer should stumble upon it two hundred years from now? Don’t you realize that it gets more potent with age? The only safe way to dispose of it is to -er -drink it.
*facepalm*
*SNORK!*
What about the bustier made of paper clips? Do I have that right? Can I have it?
Hmm, most of what I eOwn is Federation property.
My stock of Saurian Brandy should of course be used for my eWake.
I’d like to bequeath all my profits from Snorekitty Breath Right™ strips to the Center for the Study of Kitty Sleep Apnea.
Ha! While the corset is of joint design, it belongs to Dragon, and it is up to her to decide its fate. I suspect she’ll be wearing it when the time comes, however, and there may not be much left of it to pass along.
I would like to request the turkey baster and a handful of Shamwows.
*takes inventory of eProperty*
Lessee…
Several pairs of pants, suspenders, belts, buttons, etc.
1 heavily abused shellacked mackerel
Several two-fours of Elsinore beer.
1 slightly-frayed toque
*sigh*
It’s not much, but it’s all so special!
*wipes tear*
Ummmm….yeah, the paperclip corset won’t be available.
You can have my collection of ashes of *FOOM!!*-ed trolls, though, Leila!
I’m afraid my eProperty isn’t very impressive either… I got a mucky fish tank, a slightly used potato, and some meat curtains.. But I would like to donate my eBody to eScience when I’m gone. Don’t want Avis making fluffy fish cakes out of it.
*does not consider fish to be food*
You’re safe.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/02/09/escape-fail/#comment-279141
Um… mighty enthusiastic to handle corpses there, WN?
*scootches away*
Sold an Abyssinian kitten one time to a young couple. He was a newly-practicing mortician, and they’d just moved into their first mortuary. Very nice couple.
I always pictured that kitteh wandering around amongst the coffins…
Uh…that’s kinda creepy but as long as you make sure ZA doesn’t eat my brains, then I will be sure not to come back to haunt you.
I bequeath the E.T. finger collection to Brewski and Arthur, in equal portions, share and share alike.
Is it just me, or is the sounds they make in slo-mo sound a bit…disturbing?
No, kids have been hurtling down hills in shopping carts since waaayyyyyyy before jackass. It never ends well, and yet it still continues.
Let’s watch it again, shall we?
And again and again and again…
Let’s not and say we did.
I am good with that plan.
Approved!
*stamps Leila’s forhead with big red APPROVED*
That just means you will have to join Brewski in the pantless parade, Leila.
Um … nah!
I will just take my animal print shoes off. Then I will match my red stamp on the forehead.
Looks like another one I’ll have to watch at home…
Two guys in a shopping cart at the top of a dry canal pretty much try to launch themselves over some water but slam into the other side of the canal.
Brilliant!
It’s not so much that the shopping cart slams into the concrete.. it’s really their faces that brake the fall. They’re both wearing helmets, but one of them gets hit hard in the chin where he has no helmet-coverage. My jaw is still hurting from watching this…
Oh, I thought the fail was that the cart travelled in a straight line for a considerable distance. They are designed not to do that, aren’t they?
Well, yes, but this cart is broken.
I believe federal regulations require one wheel to be stuck sideways. These guys better hope the authorities don’t see this video.
I think the “squeaky sideways wheel” federal regulation only applies to carts that are in supermarket service. Retired carts can be modified, broken, used as BBQs, etc.
You see, one wheel on every cart is set to be as uncooperative to it’s user as possible. So when you are in the grocery store, it wobbles, turns and squeaks. But in this situation, turning would have saved these fools from injury. Therefore it went straight.
Ahhh.. Intelligent design…
*snerk*
*Snickers*
*buttery squeezes!!*
Shopping cart/trolley/carriage with two idiots inside rides down the sloped side of a cement…whaddya call those, a floodway? Anyway, they crash at the bottom and launch onto the cement.
*takes some butter and uses it on the video idiot faces*
I am sure they will appreciate this … if they have any brains that is.
Oh wait…
If they did, ZA would have showed up a long time ago.
Gimme a break, I still have a hangover from watching to much Zombieland over the weekend. Highly recommended, I’d have to summon the hoard to give it the appropriate number of thumbs-up.
Watching Zombieland gives you a hangover? Mine tend to be due to drinking.
I think it’s the combination of watching Zombieland and eating brains that gets to him.
Could it be that the brains he was eating were from a drunk person?
Ahhhhhh, Grasshopper, you begin to understand…
Oh, so teenage boys trying to imitate Jacka$$?? That explains EVERYTHING!
*squeeze!*
Me too. Can’t see the vids…
In fact today, every time I try to post, Internet Exploder locks up. Comment, close, open. Repeat.
Anybody else having that issue, or have I contracted a virus?
*sneezes violently*
Uh-oh.
I’ve been getting browser redirects, but that’s about it. I’ve had the problem you mention more than once. Sometimes closing all explorer sessions and restarting helps.
Thanks Brewski! When I close IE, I am closing all tabs and restarting it. Wonder if I need to reboot the entire system.
WTF???
Now it has quit doing it. Bizarre.
I’ve been experiencing technical difficulties as well. Different than yours, but it makes posting here a bit.. wonky.
I wish they would stop redirecting my browser! Very annoying!!!!!!!
I know, sometimes I’m just about to post and then the stupid brow-
VIRUS-SCAN PRO! BUY NOW! YOUR PC IS INFECTED, AND ONLY WE CAN HELP!
Act now and receive our SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER! Only $100 per month to guarantee your PC is malware-free!
*snorkles*
Firefox. NoScript.
That’s all
It’ll take more than that to stop Dennis Moore from hijacking you. He’s a very good shot and practices every day. Well … not every day, but most days.
♪ He steals from the poor and gives to the rich,
stupid bitch… ♪
Using Open DNS stops the hijacking. I have zero problems with it. And it’s free.
I hate that @%& thing!! One of those “don’t-you-want-to-download-my-vir-oops-I-mean-protection-software” ads has even made it impossible to close the window without installing the thing! I have had to go to my “control panel” to get it to go away!
My pages have been hijacked a few times today. What in the world is going on?
I dunno, but it’s been going on for 3 or 4 days for me.
Oh, goodness! I thought I funked up my office computer again! Do you think FailBlog has caught swine flu?
It’s not oinking yet, so it’s hard to say.
Good thing my laptop is vegetarian.
Slightly on topic: Did you know that Bacos™ are Kosher?
Not a trace of pork in them! I don’t know how vegetarian they might be though.
Bacos™ ingredients:
Defatted Soy Flour, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Water, Salt, Sugar, Artificial and Natural Flavor, Red 40 and Other Color Added, Soy Sauce (Water, Wheat, Soybeans, Salt), Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein (Corn, Soy, Wheat).
How do you de-fat soy flour?
I don’t think I really want to know.
So we’ve got variations of soy, some water, salt (’cause you know the soy sauce wasn’t salty enough) artificial and natural flavor (umm… natural what?), color and veggie protein (that is has soy in it).
The Bacos™ shaker goes SOY SOY SOY?
That’s why I don’t bother with Bacos™. I just go straight to the source and nom on a piggy.
But… but… but you’re a vegetarian!!!!
LIES!!!!!
I OBJECT!!!!!!
*apologizes to all the piggies in the world*
Soooowy!
I ♥ Youuuuuuu!!!
I ♥ You too piggies, with eggs & toast!
Me, too, with barbeque sauce!
Awww, poor Porky!
B-D-B-D-B-D– That’s all folks!
So…Bacos has soy and trans fats.
Um…yum? :p
(Avis – you really have to try homemade butter. I made some yesterday, and it was my best batch yet!)
I’m bringing up the idea to the family tonight, I expect to be tasting it by tomorrow.
I may bake bread again too.
When I was in college, desperately poor, AND a vegetarian: Kraft Mac and Cheese with cayenne pepper and Bac-Os. Mmm.
I made my family mac and cheese from scratch and they still prefer the boxed up variety. How?
They’re hooked on the sodium tripolyphosphate.
I like the boxed stuff too. For some reason when it’s from scratch it’s damned hard to get it right. The boxed stuff is full of yummy (if disturbing) chemicals, so it always tastes right.
I am not much of a “mac and cheese from the box” type person. ’splains why I like the homemade stuff and they don’t.
I only eat it out of the box if there’s chili mixed in.
*proudly displays the “Best Mac And Cheese in the World” award*
…Okay, so I gave it to myself, but it do make the BEST from-scratch mac and cheese!
Care to share the recipe? I found one from the foodnetwork – one of Giada DeLaurentis (sp). I found it to be toooooo greasy.
Wait, are you like me who doesn’t write down recipes and cooks from memory only?
Ok, I’ll bite! What cheeses do you prefer?
Gruyere or Emmentaler perhaps?
I can’t do a bit serving of mac-n-cheese, it’s too rich for me. But it makes a great side dish!
*fondly recalls eating cheese fondue for special family dinners as a child*
^big
Yah, I don’t do recipes. Let’s see if I can wing it here, though.
1. Make a roux with butter and flour. Ummm…not sure how much, but equal amounts of each. Cook roux until it gets a nice, nutty scent but isn’t too brown.
2. Add your dairy. I use skim milk and fat-free half and half when I’m being good, and just regular whole milk and half and half when I’m being naughty. Again, I eyeball the amounts. I just know when there’s enough.
3. When the milk gets hot, add your cheese (again, don’t know how much…keep adding until it’s cheesy enough and the right smooth texture). I use so-sharp-you-can-cut-your-tongue-on-it Vermont white cheddar with a touch of parmegano-reggiano (the undisputed king of cheeses!), and sometimes a few cubes of Gruyere. The trick here is to whisk the sauce constantly and very hard while the cheese melts so you get an emulsion with the dairy and the oil from the cheese. Your sauce will break and separate if you don’t stir it right.
3. Add a few dashes of worchestershire sauce, a pinch of smoked paprika, a pinch of cayenne, and a wee pinch of nutmeg, and a good dash of white pepper. (You can add sauteed onions if you like, but I prefer to leave them out. I like a smooooooooth, velvety sauce.)
4. Cook the pasta (I like using fusili) until it is just a bit undercooked–the uncooked side of al dente. Put it in a casserole dish and pour on the sauce. Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes. During the last ten minutes, sprinkle some grated cheese on top and cook until brown and bubbly.
5. Dive into an orgy of creamy cheesy goodness!
*passes out*
I ♥ cheese!!!!!
OMG!!!! I am salivating.
*hangs bucket around Leila’s neck*
Your keyboard will thank me.
Looked like a lowrider. I wonder how long it took them to rig it up like that.
He needs to rig it with hydraulics and neon ground effects, though.
And a sound system with low low bass…
And some fuzzy dice…
.. and bronze testicles hanging from the back…
And black lights underneath…
Concrete evidence the carting industry is facing environmental problems.
I’d like to know the cold, hard facts about that. It will likely cement my concerns about the environment.
The thought was if they kept their nose to the grind stone they could avoid hitting any walls of resistance.
Dam.
Oh great. You just opened the floodgates for another punrun.
Water you talking about? What’s this punrun you speak of?
No matter how you sluice it, it’s still a punrun!
I think weir doing pretty well!
Canteens ever think of anything productive to do with their time?
You would think so, with such a reservoir of energy…
Well….
*countenance clouds over*
What? I mist something.
I was pondering what to say about that, but nothing springs to mind.
If you wait a bit, your mind will be less foggy.
Just go with a “stream-of-consciousness” approach.
You can bank on that every time.
You guys…! The levee-ty of this thread made me smile.
It just lakes some time.
Just wait and sea.
Let the time just flow
I’m still having a bit of a drought, I’m afraid. My brain is just creeking. I keep thinking, if Burns were here, what wadi say?
Just don’t s-wet it.
Keep it up and maybe we’ll make a splash with the media.
What are we babbling about?
*waves to the Admiral*
*smooch!*
Well this is snow fun! I have to break rule 4 to continue the punrun!
*comes to your beck with something more than a peck*
I’m sure Dragon and AA will call it a wash.
Damn backseat drivers!
They manage to steer you wrong.
Paw AA, he twyd to cowect dem but it was all in wain.
Dere, dere…
*pat pat pat*
It happens to the best of us.
Who knows why the caged boor sinks?
*Sniffs*
I shalt make casters then in pain,
And dream of joy, all but in vain.
What is it to be sain,
to be plain.
There flowers no balm to sain him
From east of earth to west
That’s lost for everlasting
The heart out of his breast.
~ A. E. Housman
Look! Someone dropped his face at the ground.
I suggest another mode of transportation.
Like one of those little red wagons?
I always use a basket instead of a cart.
I use a handbasket too. I’m on my way to hell right now, actually.
Wooo!!! Party at Brewski’s!
Getting there is half the fun!
It’s about time! I could use the company!
I made us all matching handbaskets!
*ties ribbons to the handles*
*hot glues some pearly decorations to the handles*
Glue beer caps on for Brewski.
*ties strange danglies to the bottoms of baskets*
Why, they’re EVERYones’ danglies, Gracie!!
Hmmm…
*plays with danglies*
*gaspssomewhatnervouslywithagiggle*
Well, you said they were everyones!
*squeezesmooch*
Indeed, it were a truism. It’s a globally dangleable situation.
*squeeeezesmooooch*
*jumps with a start*
*hits head on ceiling*
OW! *rubs head*
Warn me before you do that again!
He meant to say warm your hands before you do that.
I am guessing attire is bikinis?
We were supposed to wear clothes?
*zips out to…um…”borrow” Judy’s E.T. finger*
*covers bum*
EEEEP!!!!
*runsawaywithaquicknesssoquick*
*hides E.T. finger in front pants pocket*
*looks around*
Hey, where’d everybody go?
Hey there Brewski, is that an E.T. finger in your pocket or are you… Nope. Can’t even finish the sentence.
E.T. Finger? No, not at all.
*reaches into pocket*
*pulls out Hillshire Farms “Yard O’ Beef”*
Maybe you were looking at this?
*SNORK!*
*Click*
Oh, how refreshing, another blurred picture of Brewski.
*looks over Marius’ shoulder*
Does he have pants on?
Just a blur with no pants, ♪ that’s why they call him the streak . . . ♪
*shows off his physique*
Don’t look Ethel!!
…but it was too late. She’d already been mooned.
♪…He likes to turn the other cheek… ♪
*rimshot*
Bum tush!
Brewski, that yard of beef finally answered my question:
“What’s yours like?”
(n00b hopes not too familiar. . .desperately hoping FBs will love me…………)
Ore cart?
Do you mean “created by” or “featuring”, as in “Still Life with Orc”?
Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river.
River deep, buttock high.
We never, ever do fails nice, and easy. We always do it nice, and rough.
If I were that shopping cart I’d be very pleased by those two guys smashing their faces against the pavement.
Poor little bent shopping cart.
Everybody, a moment of silence for the poor shopping cart.
*bows head*
Poor horse!
The horse hasn’t collapsed yet. The shopping cart has.
LMAO!!
I read Brewski’s as ‘The shopping cart a$$.’
*snorkity*
Cows with their minds in the gutter. Sheesh!!!
*squeezesSuzieQ*
What’s wrong with having your mind in the gutter? That’s my mind’s natural habitat.
*incredulous*
Mind in the gutter?? YOU???
I refuse to believe it!
Me??? NEVER!!!!
*snorkitysnork*
Before they started rolling that shopping cart, I figured this could only turn out just slightly better than it actually did.
I was that age once. My moment of genius was to swing on a vine over a ravine and smack my head on a rock. I walked away unscathed. How most people live past that age is beyond me. Including myself.
Smacked your head on a rock and came away unscathed? You are very lucky.
Oh darn.. you just reminded me of the time I smacked my head on a rock… ugh…
Were you trying to wind a string around it?
And did they want to stop you from doing so?
Were you wearing your prosthetic forehead?
These sure are giant questions!
I’m not sure, they might be.
You planned to smack your head on a rock? Why would you plan that?
*Admits to riding in a shopping cart down hills*
It was really fun.
*lived a VERY sheltered life*
*thinks this is why I’ve never broken a bone in my body*
I was somewhat of a tomboy growing up. I’ve had my share of tumblings every now and again. No borked bones however.
*knocks on wood*
I was not a very good kid. Lucky for me my wife came along and found something worth keeping.
*Multiple breaks and scars*
hehe. Sometimes it’s what’s inside that counts.
SOMETIMES?!?!?
ALL the time?
*nods emphatically*
Shucks.
*SQUEEZES*
*squeezes back*
I think some guys think the only thing that counts is getting inside…
Well, they get there so rarely it’s not hard to ‘magine why they think that.
Well, not all women are that way…and I’m not talking about myself… Some are pretty easy, if you know what I mean…
*has no idea what SuzieQ is talking about*
Um…me too neither.
*whistles innocently while looking at the ceiling*
*scratches head*
*Becomes awfully interested in a certain stain on the floor*
If you’ll bring me a mop,
I’ll — oh dear!
Loose lips sink ships’ captains?
Two guys, one basket.
Never a good thing.
erm…Are you suggesting they should have used cups?
What’s wrong with you Brewski, my mind was in the gutter.
Well, you know, cups are good for male…protection.
*flees*
If you say so…
My 10 year old son was so embarrassed this past spring when his coach told him he had to get a cup…I couldn’t help but giggle…
Awww SuzieQ.. you scarred him…
He’s so modest…I can only pray her stays that way…
*facepalm*
*quickly removes extra ‘r’ from above post*
I meant to do that…hee, hee…
it’s a good job they were wearing helmets
It’s a good job selling helmets
At what point did they say, “Hey, that sounds like a good idea!”
I’m tempted to create a fake avatar and name before admitting this is something I would have done if presented to me….once upon a time…and without helmets. Drink enough and everything looked fun to me!!
A fake one.
*makes two notes in log book*
One for Duroc’s usual post, one for the inevitable “fake” comment.
Makes sense. I just don’t remember a simultaneous double entry in the log book before.
Woohoo! We just increased efficiency!!
*pops champagne cork*
And there it goes decreasing again! *holds out glass for some of the bubbly*
*bats eyelashes*
Pleeeeeaaaasssssse?
All I can picture is Avis holding a glass…
‘Please, sir, may I have some more?
*pours champagne into glasses for Avis and Suzie*
¡dn sɯoʇʇoq
heh heh heh
Brewski said up bottoms
*Googles “duroc”*
OK, I’ve got pigs and cement board. Hmm … figures.
Try a squiggly “D”.
Pleash shir… may I *hic* have shome more?
What? You think I’ve already had too mush?
Yup. You’re cut off.
*brews JMixx some strong coffee*
*throws JMixx into a freezing cold shower*
*averts eyes from shrinkage*
That should help too.
SHRINKAGE?
That’s infinitely worse than my calling granny “Madam.” Apparently today is somewhat…”gender-bending.”
The “girls” don’t shrink.
Wow, sounds like the coffee and shower sobered you up quickly! Nice work all!
Damn word wrap!
.
Wow, sounds like the coffee and shower sobered you up quickly! Nice work all!
I knew the other day when she mentioned how her ex was an a$$…
Oh whoops, I thought it was her first day.
My bad!
*sticks another pin in Suzie’s effigy doll*
Thanks, Brewski! But did you really have to put it there???
I mean, what I did was bad enough…
*leaves thread embarrassed*
*sends self to naughty corner*
S’OK. The little dog in my avatar is a boy. Honest mishtake.
*only acts drunk*
To my defense (I am reaching here) women do experience shrinkage of sorts only in the upper region. No?
*goes back to the corner*
You mean, loss of substance and more sag??
*snerk*
If the water is cold, the “girls” might get a bit….nipply…
*sneaks past Gracie*
*pours JMixx another glass*
Why shank you, kind shir!
*teeters*
Wow…when did Sean Connery get here??
I’m just playing the drunk. I think. (see below)
Hi DW! Good to meet you!
*offers Kahlua-laced coffee*
Oooh, fankoo!
*sips*
(And I know…I was just funnin’ ya about sounding like Connery!)
I know…I just forgot to type the *snork*!
“Mish Moneypenny, I sheem to have losht my kilt.”
*produces bottle of Kahlua to add to coffee*
Great! Thanks!
I’m down with that.
*puppy-dog eyes*
Got any you can spare??
*holds out work coffee mug*
*holds out a cup of coffee for JMixx to spike*
Of course!
*pours generous helping of Kahlua*
(BTW, I thought I heard a puzzled silence after that “hard time” comment.) <–*doesn't know how to make font smaller*
Use the word ‘pre’ between the greater and less than.
*Holds out glass with ice, vodka & cream*
*puppy dog eyes*
You can’t leave this poor drink incomplete.
{pre}type type type{/pre}
Use less than, greater than symbols instead of brackets.
Oops. Maybe I am drunk. That comment was @Brewski.
*pours apologetic large quantity of Kahlua into coffee*
*takes coffee*
I need this more than you do.
*takes it back*
I disagree. Get your own.
*drinks it quickly*
*sniff*
*sob*
*gives Leila her own mug of Kahlua and coffee*
There, there.
Thanks!
*toasts Leila, Gracie, and JMixx*
*sips coffee*
.
Say… is this your first day, JMixx? Welcome to the blog!
*throws in a toast with Avis as well*
*tosses toast in the air*
Cheers!
*scowls at blogmonster*
*takes coffee from Avis*
*watches for Gracie*
*sips coffee withaquickness*
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiii!!!! HOT! HOT! HOT!!!!
Ouchy!
*Holds newspaper overhead*
*Squirts Leila with water bottle*
Look Avis, a virgin!
It’s just jump to the left, and then a step to the riiiiiiiight.
*Puts his hands on his hips*
Sorry all! Work beckoned, then I got the H-E-double-hockey-sticks out of there before more work came at me (after work hours, mind you!). I wasn’t ignoring the question; no, I’ve been lurking for a couple of months and tossing a comment in here and there for a few weeks. Just hadn’t been formally introduced.
There is plenty of Kahlua for all, and, if I don’t miss my guess, Say g’night Gracie made a big pot of coffee.
He’s lucky, she’s lucky, we’re ALLLL lucky! Cheers all!
The earliest post I can find that I made was on Sept. 12th.
Anyway…
*sips Kahlua and coffee, looking around at nearly-empty Comments section*
*Hums little tune*
that’s what my mother always tells me: if you’re going to do some shopping cart stunt, use good quality shopping carts!
surprise buttsecks
*Sings “Love hurts”*
Sweet revelation, sweet surrender.
Brokeback gully?
*tickles one behind square leg*
ur doing it wrong
Rule #4: Seatbelts.
Doesn’t that fall in the Rule #3: safety category?
Step 3: Profit!
(Step 1: Tape stupid stunt
Step 2: Post video on website with ads)
Step 4:Humiliation
Step 5: Tell police that your six-year-old son just took off in a weather balloon when he’s really just hiding in the attic.
Step six: hold a bowl for said son to puke in while on national television, thus sharing the humiliation.
No no no, Gracie. That’s step 6. Before you call the police you’re supposed to call the local news stations.
Step 6: Jump up and down for Wii bowling while on the job.
auahuahauahuahauhauh holy crap xD
Yeah, I’d probably freak out too if I saw holy crap.
How can you tell if your crap is holy?
Are we really going to go there?
Have you been eating a lot of swiss cheese?
I was talking theologically, not biologically!
How about chronologically?
I don’t have time for that!
Well, don’t be ticked off!
I’ll give you a Present in the Future at half-Past7.
Wow. Hour puns are minute compared to yours.
I year what you say.
Avis, since you love to cook, I would like to know your take on this 25K award winning sandwhich. CLICKIE!!!!!
*wipes drool off of keyboard*
Ummmmm, I may have to make that soon. Mama Bird might brain me if I knew about this and didn’t make it for her!
It does sound good, doesn’t it? A marvelous panoply of divergent – and yet, strangely convergent – tastes
I want to make it too but I think I will make a few modifications such as the white bread and sugar in the onions. Do they have whole wheat ciabatta bread? Why would you put sugar in onions? They are sweet naturally and the sweetness comes out when you caramelize it.
I agree about the sugar. Try a foccacia or some kind of flat bread, that might be more to your taste. (I might try it that way, and then again with smoked ham. Or turkey. Or…..bacon.
*wipes up drool again*
*lips quiver*
but…it’s a vegetarian sammich.
Foccacia is too heavy. I love Italian or French bread but it’s very rare that they make it in whole wheat.
You can get whole wheat baguettes at Whole Foods, on a somewhat regular basis.
I know it’s a veggie sandwich, I’m not a vegetarian though. I’m gonna try sans meat first, to see what it’s supposed to be like. I like to tweak recipes, I’ve gotten WAY more adventurous over the years!
Okay, let me know how it turns out non-vegetarian. Although he enjoys my vegetarian diet too my hunny is a meat eater. I will make it all veggie style and he can add the animal – whichever you think tastes good.
I’ll let you know when I make it. I just told Mama Bird about the sandwich, she sounds interested. Busy, but interested.
If you’re feeling adventurous, I recommend a vacation in China!!
Speaking of which, how’s your tummy doing, friend?
Not quite that adventurous! I still only order maybe one of three things from the chinese food places around here!
My tummy is just fine, thanks! It was a miserable 2+ weeks though. I still am a lot lighter than I used to be.
Tangential story: I just found out my doctor is a cult member from Portland OR, under Swami Chetanananda. He cut himself off from family and friends, and would call home for money and curse out his mother. His family abducted him, but he escaped back to the ashram. The parents won a court order against the church, and kidnapped him a second time. The ashram and parents fought a lengthy court battle. He ultimately returned to the church.
Anyhoo… I had already decided I need a new doctor for other reasons. He seems to favor quackery over science. But there’s no primary-care physicians out here! It’s ridiculous!
Quackery sounds about right.
Hmmm. Look at your crap. Can you see through it?
Yes – it’s holy.
No – it’s not holy.
The question remains, however – is it wholly holy?
There are many holes through the question.
All crap found in the Vatican is holy, even if it is a bear’s. There ’s instant sanctification.
If you look really close, you can see the top guy try to steal the bottom guy’s watch before the pain overcomes them both.
What thought process was involved prior to making this clip?
Who says there was a thought process?
Mmmm… beer…
“That hottie in Social Studies will totally want me after she sees me with half the skin missing from my chin and elbows! “
Or maybe, “Hey, let’s make a low-budget version of Grease”.
Hee! Hee!
The rules are… there ain’t no rules!
The helmet didn’t seem to do much for the guy who ended up clutching his throat at the end.
Didn’t do much for his ego either.
they should have switched helmets.
Darwin Award honorable mention. They do go from water to land in a very evolutionary way…
and a very revolutionary way
That guy just accidentally had sex with that other guy…
Lol, they are hacking ^^
Doing it in the what?!
Dude, as the head of the Zombie Apocalypse I command you to go see Zombieland. You won’t be disappointed!
I want to see it too.
*suddenly craves brains*
Do you have any spare ‘brains that you didn’t eat’ on you?
LOL!
You carry left-overs?
In a Devil Doggy Bag?
That is a nice suggestion.
Nobody walks in L.A.
They run?
Yes, to their parked cars.
No. While they still might have walked, they try to avoid it by things like riding in shopping carts. After that, walking isn’t even an option any more.
Two knees broke check.
That’s a tall order of Road Rash for 2.
I’d like that to go, please.
*makes it go*
Howzzat?
Um, ok, I guess.
Not out.
No wonder. They Felled Physics.
You misspelled “failed” in Fail Blog? :-O
The cool factor of that stunt is small. The risk of injury is great.
Risk assessment fail.
Always remember, “Safety 3rd”
shopping carts and concrete never mix well…
*tosses shopping carts in wet cement*
Aargh, bad spoonerism in the fail title.
Funt Stail?
Fapping Start Shunt Coil.
This is very similar to something I’ve done once.
Like what?
(and hello *squeeze)
I’m ROCKET MAN!!
Now I know what they mean when they say “Shop shop ’til you drop!”
LAST
nope,
and you are a troll.
Anyone know where one might find small(ish) airtight containers for transporting spices? I may need some come Christmastime.
Tupperware.
They still have those?
Yup. They even have a website.
tupperware.com
*goes to book tupperware party*
I know a lot of people hate these kind of parties, but for some reason I love them!!
Me, too. I went to a Partylite party on Saturday and booked one of my own for next month. I love me some candles!
I get inundated with invites like the chef one, tupperware, jewelry, candles and blah blah blah. I’ve become anti-social.
The Container Store!!!
Hey, that would work, there’s one close to the Comcast payment center that I need to go to anyway. I’ll check it out. I may be going to Ikea this weekend, so I’ll check there too.
Ikea has those glass jars with suctioned tops that I love so much. We have so many variety of beans that I need jars to display them. I love them.
No glass! I’ll need to take them with me on the train to New Mexico. Something the size of film canisters would work, but we don’t have any of those lying around, and our camera is digital. Would a camera shop have extras or sell empties?
I found 100 of them for $8.95 on eBay. CLICKIE!!!
Now I just need to con- um convince Mama Bird that I really need these! (She’s the one with a paypal account)
If you need inexpensive and tossable, one of the sandwich bag companies now makes a “snack size” bag – roughly half the size of a sandwich bag. Easily portable.
That’s also a possibility, though I’m a little concerned about the bags bursting (air pressure changes and all).
I have 3 big meals to prepare while I’m there and need at least 4 packages of spices. More if I make the red chile and sugar cured bacon.
*makes sure her plans for New Mexico in December are still on*
We’ve got white chicken chili, roasted eggplant parmesan soup, and roasted (whole) chicken with herbs de provence served with walnut green beans and mashed potatoes all in the works. And if I can convince the folks to let me, biscuits and gravy for at least one breakfast. What meal(s) did you want in on?
Ummm, all of the above?
So….does that mean that they did it?
Not Jackass…Dumbf**k
I see the fail, they forgot the teddy tiger and philosophical discussion.
Maybe we should discuss for them.
Half a bee, should philosophically, ipso facto, half not be
So…not 2 bees then.
Which would you rather bee or a wasp?
Praying Mantis.
Or high in power Emperor Butterfly.
Take it away Eric the orchestra leader!
Dear Blogmonster,
You owe me an apology for eating all my posts. I told you it’s never a good idea to go on a crash diet!
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Leila
I am sorry I ate your posts. If you didn’t make them so good I would not have to eat them
Sincerely
Blogmonster
P.S.
Ignore the name I pen under at the top.
out take from nitro circus???
They took Shopping Cart Hero to a whole new level.
You got f’ed in the a…
…but a win for the rest of us
“Watch out, Steve, I’m coming in hard and fast!”
sorry, i know, bad joke… ~slaps own nose with rolled up newspaper~
eighth Waaay dooownn upon the L.A. River. . .
eighth
Don´t worry the asphalt scrapes worse than it breaks.
…Or was it the other way around?
I re-dub this Brain Fail
kinda reminds me of the game shopping cart hero
Press the plastic buttons in time with the prompts or your friend knobs you from behind?
LAST!!!1!11!!!!eleven!!one
NOTTTTT!
>pre/pre<
oops
let me try that again:
Guy on guy action
Doesn’t fail on a shopping cart stunt mean win. I mean the goal of it was to look stupid and hurt themselves and they did that.
Kinda reminds me of Jackass… But I think about 40 other people just said that earlier.
Mostly they were talking about jacking ass, so I think you’re okay.
Faceplant win
Hmm, lol they made the cart sink low, and they failed right into the CA river, might want to go get disease tested now.
500th comment
Congratulations you win 500 internets.
Awkward moment at 0:21!
that’s some sharm aiming! LOL
SHARP i meant…
Starting go-cart racing try-outs.
Holy cart crashes Batman.
Where is everbody? Echo, echo, echo. So silent. silent. silent.
Hey STSZ. I was putting my cart away.
Shhhh. We’re all hiding from him behind the couch. We’re going to jump out and scare him later.
I’m a zombie so boo!
Did someone put sleeping gas in the ventilator? I replied over 20 minutes ago and no ones posted on this fail since.
Oh my god, everyone got a life and left me here alone!
Great. While I’m writing that two people post and make me look like an idiot.
Hello
You just made me laugh for a good five minutes Coyote.
Hey, where’s your finch? I only took the “es” at the end, because you only had one.
*gives 5 eagles back his finch*
Somebody’s gotta say it:
CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3!!!
Hee!
good thing they weren’t naked.
At least the top guy wasn’t cushioned by the guy underneath him.
some parts were…
*malicious laugh*
The parts that matter. Hee hee.
Um… If you laugh, how come you use the “Evil” emote instead of the “Twisted” emote?
ex:
I often get confused, and have trouble remembering which is which myself. It was probably an accident.
Ah, yes, shopping cart,
where would we be without you?
Probably alive.
oh… THAT squirrel…
That was a rock-ass stunt. Kudos on those two for having the temerity to try it.
Old.
Well they’re not total morons…they wore helmets.
How can they not see that coming?
A new clicky for the early morning crew – and whoever looks back at this later
King of the world!
It looks like a scene from “Thrillbilies” of Fuel TV
Well, that’s one way to exfoliate!
How could they expect anything else? This in not a fail, because theres no other possible ending. Well, perhaps the cart could have flipped over, but thats it
0:35 lol
Well, at least they were wearing helmets, so they’re not completely stupid.
I see so many wonderful things on this site labeled fails, when they are clearly “wins”. In this case, it’s a win for natural selection. It’s never a fail when morons hurt themselves…Get it together failblog…
If you’re that stupid, you deserve every bit of what you get.
thats like the shopping cart hero game XD
How is this a fail?
Isn’t that always the way these stunts end?
Failblog must be lowering it’s standards…
Helmet worn: win
Wheee! That was – *CRASH* and *SPLASH* – OUCH!
I hate this jackass movies. There should be no place in FAIL blog for them.
The world is a much moer enjoyable place with stupid people.
OWWW
did you see how mutch the cart bent when the pavement leveled out?
And people wonder why I have the Darwin Awards on Speed-Dial.
So after you get out of spinal rehab can I take your picture for this?
http://failblog.org/2009/10/22/sensitivity-fail-2/
Is this the exact location of the race scene from Grease?
srsly, how stupid can you get?
those guys must never learn
Kids, remeber to use the helmtes like the guys!
i like how the cart slowly bent
Five thumbs down for human stupidity. At least he was wearing a helmet…
Seriously, there must be easier ways for the guy in back to pump his love sausage into his little buddy.
I only saw 1 bit of intellect in this video, they wore helmets.
did he die?
At least they were wearing helmets….
hahaha no way, random finding this on failblog. i know the bigger guy but i haven’t seen him since hs. this video is completely real
probably would have worked better if the cart hadn’t bent.
isnt that the place where a scene from Grease is played? the ones with the cars? I think
its funny because white helmet guy gets his face rubbed into the cement