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This news anchor can offer you something to help with Name Fail.
Submitted by anon
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You just can’t get good newscasters these days…
News anchors fail a LOT!
Thank goodness for that!
*squeeze!!*
*squeeze*
How goes it?
Pretty good! You?
Was home sick with the stomach flu yesterday. I ate all of a half of a potato chip and wished I hadn’t eaten that. But today is going much better! I feel puny, but I’m not living in the restroom.
The flu? I hope you feel better!
*squeezes while wearing hazmat suit*
ahh. swine flu is here. Get away from me you swine zombie
“puny”? Or “punny”? Or perhaps both?
In any case, get well soon!
*long-distance squeeze*
Do you need some ass cream after that potato chip?
I’m sorry did you say you wanted chocolate ass cream?
hahaha!
if it’s made with olean you won’t need the ass cream..lol
Please share…no volume here at work…
“An ass-cream vendor… excuse me! Ice cream vendor…”
*snork*
Thanks, Brewski…
oh, she’s got a nice southern accent. …
Her name is Adrienne Alvarez… she’s from New Jersey. Currently working for KTSM, El Paso. She’s a cutie. Probably keeps her figure with all those frozen desert treats.
Your name says it all…
Ice cream sundaes in the breakroom!!!
*brings HUGE plate of cookies to the breakroom*
Gotta have cookies!
*mixes new batches of Spam™ Cookies, as well as new FB-endorsed, vegee Spam™ Cookies*
*hums a tuneless tune*
*pops into microwave*
*taps foot*
DING!
*offers tray of Spam™ Cookies to all Fail Friends*
Enjoy!
*bursts into FB Breakroom*
Hi everybody!!! I’ve missed you guys.
STARFISH!!!!!
*running squeeze*
It worked! I just said your name, and *poof!*, you appear!
*super sized squeeze*
OK, seriously now, did you see my post from earlier today?
failblog.org/2009/10/13/waffle-house-hand-dryer-fail/#comment-638060
I didn’t see the comment.
I just thought that I had been gone so long that I should pop in and say hello. That’s weird, it feels good to know I have been missed. I talk about you guys with my wife and she keeps telling me to go on FB on the weekend but it isn’t the same. I don’t miss FB as much as I miss you guys.
Weekends are no good on here. Stick with your lunchtime plan.
*squeeze*
Hi Starfish!! I’m new-ish too. Brewski was just mentioning how much he missed you. That’s too funny.
*LUNCHtime Squeeze*
Starfish! Long time, no *squeeze!*
YAY! Starfish FTW!
Where have you been!?!
*squeeze*
I started a new job a few weeks ago and unfortunatley this one expects me to work. I’m going to eat lunch at my desk more often so I can visit you guys for the noon fails.
*squeez*
Wow, too busy to type an “e”. Welcome back!
*tosses e up there*
I missed making spelling mistakes that weren’t automatically fixed by my computer.
Hiya, Starfish. Welcome back!
*squeeze*
Welcome back, Starfish!
*squeeze*
Or become a postman and sleep in the mailbox.
Thanks guys. I’m definitely going to eat my lunch at my desk from now on.
*big squeezes to all my failfriends*
So, what did I miss?
Hi, Starfish! You don’t know me, ’cause I was lurking when you were last posting here. It’s very nice to meet you, finally!
*orders sign from signage shop*
*waits two weeks*
*receives sign*
*plugs in*
*sparkle*WELCOME BACK!*sparkle*
And I am SuzieQ, fka Newbie with Boobies…I believe we have met. Nice to have you back!
Hi girls. Nice to meet you LGB, and nice to see you again Suzie.
*squeezes*
BTW, nice sign LGB!!
Starfish is back!
.
*squeeze*
.
Now we’ll finally know what FTW means!
Fish, WB!
*high fives Starfish*
*apologizes for the light face slap*
Have a Smurfy-squeeze, Starfish!
Nice to see you!
*yet again, admires both LGB’s appreciation of good signage AND her SpamCookies™ *
*latenightsqueeze* to starfish. Welcome back!
Um… I’ll take Avis’ cookies. But thanks anyway!
*runs away from Spam™ Cookies *
*offers assorted British tea biscuits along with the Spam™ Cookies*
You can never have enough cookies!
*stranger squeeze* now where did i place my cheeze..
Killer, dude! *stranger squeezes* are the best!
why are you popping into the microwave? won’t your head assplode if you go in there?
*grabs a shovel leaning on a gravestone nearby*
*splits the trolls head open with the shovel*
*gruesomely feasts on the trolls excrement in his head*
*goes looking for some tasty braaaaaaaiiins to wash down that awful flavor*
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have some ass cream ZA? Or make the troll scream for ass cream?
yummy
*cleans up ZA’s head with ShamWow*
*hops into tank and runs over the bloody troll several times, with glee*
*orders the flamethrowers to move in*
*orders bazooka launchers to move in*
*attaches the remains to nuclear bomb*
*hides in bunker and watches the explosion*
*sniffs the air*
Well, that smelt like victory.
*THWACKS the troll with a shellacked herring*
I didn’t.
*looks at measly remains of troll*
Nice work, FPs. Nice work, indeed.
* feeds troll’s remains to hungry kitty.
There! All bettah!
Guess we have to blast off and nuke the whole site from orbit. Only way to be sure…
you amuse me…
She says something like “an ass cream vendor -excuse me, an ice cream vendor from El Paso is behind bars today…”
Then she does the Max Headroom trick.
ass-cream ass-cream ass-cream…
So nice, she had to say it thrice.
Third time’s a charm.
ass cream
she says “an ass cream vendor in …” and then quickly smiles and corrects to ” excuse me. an ICE cram vendor in…”
Anchors like that tend to weigh down the newscast.
*smooch!*
I want to lick the ass cream!!!
I scream,You scream all scream for ass-cream!:D
That’s one way to get it!
I don’t want to buy ANYTHING from that vendor!!
Not even Preparation H?
Nope!
*has awful !mage of Preparation H in one of those ketchup dispensers, complete with the itty-bitty paper cups*
Why don’t you just call it Operation Asscream?
_Chocolate_ Asscream?
It’s funny on its own, why do we need a remix?
Because otherwise, the ass cream has a tendency to separate.
Or the cotton commercial at the end.
They’re trying to let us know that cotton will be more gentle on you skin, and you won’t need the ass cream?
Maybe it’s traveling on that rocky road that does it.
I don’t get any ads in the video. Perhaps it’s a US thing.
Do you let the vid play out to the very end? I usually don’t, but this computer is elderly and doesn’t always do what I want it to, so I caught the very beginning of the cotton commercial jingle.
But, speaking of ads, does anyone else get the commercials for costumes? I love the UPS costume for kids, it’s adorable!
I really like the Mario with the giant mustache. Cute!
You could probably make the whole costume with stuff from a thrift store. And a pillow or three.
I mainly seem to see this one:
“Let’s F CK. All I need is ‘U’”.
Real classy!
Offensive T-shirts. The only nice thing I can say is, at least there’s truth in their advertising.
W00T!!
Way to go MRN!!
*confetti and ass cream*
Woot!
*ponders Brewski’s second item*
.
Congrats, MRN!
.
*hands MRN a beer and a pickle*
Woooo-hoooo, MRN ♂
*knocks three times on ZA’s grave with shovel*
*waits*
*gets no answer*
Where could he be at this hour?
*goes into adjacent grave storage shed*
*wheels out brand new, shiny confetti cannon*
*lights fuse*
Kerrrr-pow!
*little foil MRNs go flying everywhere*
*returns cannon to storage shed*
*pokes head from the grave*
*sees confetti disaster*
*notices new confetti cannon has already fired*
*wonders why the living is so impatient*
Because we have such a limited amount of time in life.
Oh yeah!
*notices he forgot to say congrats*
Congrats MRN!
*wonders what MRN’s comment was (no vid at work)*
*congrats anyways*
“I wonder where she works now?”
Congrats MRN
I bet she works at the pharmacy selling Germaloid.
Woop woop for MRN.
*breaks out the champagne*
¿sıɥʇ ɹoɟ ʎpɐǝɹ sʎnƃ noʎ
We was born ready!
*dashes in*
WOOHOOO! Congrats MRN!
*runs back to work*
*ʇno ʎɐʍ sıɥ uo ǝuƃɐdɯɐɥɔ ǝɯos ʎʇʇoɔs spuɐɥ*
*¡dɹn1s*
Hee!
*¡ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ*
“I wonder where she works now?”
*squeeze!*
Jinx!
(mmmmffff!!)
Trying the ass cream, eh? You’re a brave man.
*hands Brewski a bukkit*
Brewski, Brewski, Brewski!!!!
Whew!
*buttersqueeze*
@AA: :-p
@AA PS:
*squeeze*
“I wonder where she works now?”
*squeeze!*
Jinx!
*squeeze*
Whoa – a triple jinx. What happens now?
*spins round and falls over*
*admires high jinx*
Thank you all! I’ll find another question, maybe we’ll make it to five answers.
*snickers*
You guys are just going to leave the Admiral hanging there??
Admiral, Admiral, Admiral!!
Just in case, we don’t want to get caught on a technicality…
Admiral Apparent Admiral Apparent Admiral Apparent!
Whew! I’m just glad it wasn’t General and FailBlog Secretary of the Treasury BondFan4518 MP of 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House/BIG BROTHER/The President of Guinea Bissau/Frank Sinatra/John Adams.
Brewski, cut and paste is your friend in cases like that!
Lucky it wasn’t Johann Gambolputty…
Thanks, guys.
*wipes chapped lips*
Aja, do you mean Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
*faints from lack of oxygen*
*realizes same thing*
CONGRATS MRN!!!
ZA! What are you doing here … I mean … how lovely to see you!
I hope you don’t mind about the cannon. MRN powered the fail, and I just thought, well, you know, you wouldn’t mind. I knocked, but you didn’t answer….
*edges toward end of thread*
No worries, I hoard the undead not cannons. In the unlikely event that it should become damaged, I’ll just print up another billion or so and buy another one. Or wheel out the old trusty rusty one, it still fires fine.
We’re just friends! I kept my pants on the entire time!
How do we know?
Just look at the pict…uh…
Well, just ask…um…er…
…OK! OK! I admit it! I pummeled Jimmy Hoffa with an E.T. Finger and buried his cold lifeless body in my root cellar!!!
I knew it! It was you all along, Brewski! What have you done with Elvis?!
Elvis is fine, he just went home. Didn’t you see MIB?
That’s a little too stout for me…pass!
Congrats, MRN!
*squeeze!*
(And, thanks for that very nice reply to my comment yesterday.)
Let’s see…
Powered by a poster with an avatar – check.
Powered by a regular – check. (Well, an irregular regular)
Non-generic comment relevant to the particular fail – check.
See how much value this adds?
(Now, if I could only show up when everyone is here…)
*stealth-squeeze!*
*heyasqueezeifyou’restillaround!*
*sneak-up-behind-squeeze!*
Aww, hey, you are both still around this late. I assume (especially based on the “stout” comment) that you heard Brewski and I met up last night in Worcester. What a great guy! I can’t believe he listened to me babble for 4 hours! (I think the two trips to McDonald’s and $1 Paul Newman’s organic coffee on the way up to Worcester contributed to my nonstop yakking.)
Heeeeeeeeeee!
I’m so glad you guys had a good time. We’ve seen the pics, and we were giggling about your pickle earlier.
…Okay, that came out TOTALLY wrong.
I have really got to start checking in earlier in the day. I miss all of the good stuff.
What pics? Where? WANNA SEE!!!
He didn’t babble, actually. And Arthur: get on Facebook, darnit! Would it help if I bribed you? With beer? Or pickles?
I think it probably went in totally wrong, too!
We still talking about the pickle?
*snorkroffle!*
(Random creepy poster replying to your comment a year ago has been logged and committed to memory.)
Yup, we’ve heard. I’m not surprised. I can see either of you sustaining an interesting conversation for a few hours.
I can’t help but wonder if MRN powering this fail has any connection with the Special News Bulletin some of us received this morning? Perhaps you can answer that, Mr. Brewski?
My lawyer has advised me not to comment.
Well, then, answer me this: Are you the “pants-less prankster” mentioned on the MSN homepage? Hmmmm?
Maybe he’s related…
.
“TRAIN DRAGS HALF-NAKED MOONER ALONG TRACKS”
ht tp://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33284400/ns/world_news-weird_news/?GT1=43001
Half-naked Moomin?
What WON”T those Iron Chefs put in that machine?!
Hey, it’s a time crunch thing.
.
And you get points for originality.
Don’t think I’ll want that recipe
Can’t be worse than the trout ice cream!
Oh wait…yes, it can.
:ick:
There’s always bacon sorbet with snail porridge. Nomnomnom.
*crawlingawayfeelingillsqueeze*
At least no frozen treats were made from the fallopian tubes last week!
:ick:
Did you turn slightly green at that, too?
Those judges are FEARLESS!
There were many things that episode that I would not have eaten. Just plain :ick:
I’ve always said that when it comes to food, I’m willing to try anything once.
Of course, I said that before I learned about things like chicken fallopian tubes and sea cucumbers.
No
spankyou!No, YOU!
*sticks out tongue*
I scream, you scream, we all scream for … er … what?
Ass cream, apparently.
ass cream, ass cream, we all scream for ass cream.
yes.
Who is being hired to apply? The Butt Drillers?
asscream vendor ftw :c
Life is like an ass-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
~Charles M. Schulz
I would love to give HER some ass cream..shes hot.
you beat me to it… I share the sentiment.
she died
Is that true?
I’d kinda like to know what the vendor was wanted for.
Hemorrhoidal flare-ups?
:ick:
I knew I shouldn’t have asked!
Assault with a dairy product?
Breaking and entering?
*goes to rent “Last Tango in Paris”, again*
Oh gawd…one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire life was when I was 19 and watched that movie with my boyfriend…and his dad.
I couldn’t look his dad in the eye for MONTHS after that.
come on, DW… not like daddy-o shared a linda lovelace offering with you.
Shaddup.
*snork-smooch*
According to what I found when I googled, he was wanted for indecency with a child. Click
Arson.
yep. a can of lysol and a lit match should serve the molester just fine.
Butt drilling?
Vendor? I barely even…
I’m sorry, that was just lame.
Bueno estente!
SCORCHIO!
*squeezio*
Boutros Boutros Ghali!
*squeezie*
Me, the 13th Earl of Wynbourne, being squeezed in an asscream factory?
I was very drunk.
This week, I are be mostly eating … taramasalata.
Chris Waddle?
Mmm… jumpers for goalposts.
… I’ll get me coat. ^^^
Aren’t holes brilliant?
Knowing my luck, I’ll probably fall down that hole.
… Bu99er!
Someone’s sitting there, mate.
Were you out with a lady last night, sir?
Nice.
Reading the news, Paul, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
Holes is a very interesting movie.
I’m guessing this is why this particular ice cream vendor is in trouble with the law. When life gives you ass cream call the police.
It’s a bum job, but somebody’s got to do it.
I think I got the butt of your joke.
I can get behind that.
Who’s bring up the rear???
Don’t assk me!
Well, bummer.
Take a seat, the answer will come to you soon.
Austin Powers reference in 3…2…1…
We hold the world ransom for…
*puts pinky to mouth*
One… Hundred… BILLION DOLLARS!
Yeah baby!!!
Shagadelic!
Machine-gun jubblies?! How did I miss those, baby?
Have you seen WTF pictures lately? Go check it out. The woman is sitting on a tank. Not that that is what you’ll notice about the picture.
That looks … heavy calibre?
It looks painful!
*nods*
“Gravity always wins.”
Well, all I can say is…
PHOTOSHOPED!!1!!!11
Or balloons.
I sincerely hope one of those is the case. I really, really do.
She brought out the dual cannons.
Not when they’re silicone! Not only that, but contrary to popular belief, silicone implants do not add buoyancy. She’d sink like a stone in the event of a water landing.
Still, that’s gotta add quite a bit of weight for your shoulders to carry. OUCH!!
Her lower back has go to be one big giant knot of pain. Assuming of course, that those are real. And by real, I mean in the sense of tangible, not-photoshopped or balloons.
We’d better drain the pool and fill it with … oh, I don’t know … jello?
Ye gawds.
Ouch. And ew. And ouch.
Two scoops, one cup?
That’s deep.
He’s drilling for it.
Brown gold
Smelly but worthless.
Smells like we struck a gas main!
*squeezes Arthur to the ground to avoid explosion*
That happens quite often…
*squeeze!*
*rides into thread on a unicycle*
*spins, does a handstand on the seat and gives Arthur and the Moomin a SKA-WEEEEEEZE at the same time*
*pedals out while clown circus music plays in the background*
*smiles while all the kids go crazy*
*SKA-WEEEEZES*
I think you meant to say ‘assplosion.’
sometimes buba® uses ass cream for his face too.
Is the clicky about you?
Buba is a butthead?
That would explain the ass cream on his face.
News butt fail.
I sense a theme here.
That news anchor will be the butt of jokes for weeks to come.
She’s kind of bummed out about it too.
I blame it on her upbringing. She obviously wasn’t reared properly.
Tushé.
Well, her parents were behind the times.
The cheek of some people!
You’d think the network would want to get to the bottom of this.
And kick some *ss when they do!
They should offer you a seat on the board.
Or a seat in the rumpus room.
If the board gets out of control she’ll tell ‘em to can it.
Just don’t let her poison them with arsenic!
Happy Butt Day!
Today’s fails demanded it!
We had:
A cigarette butt in a bag of mushrooms (Mushroom butt)
A company called Butt Drilling (Drill butt)
A sign asking bathroom users to wipe their hands on their pants (Bathroom butt)
A news anchor talking about ass cream (News butt)
Are you trying to tell us that the person choosing our fails today is a smartass?
Better a smartass than a dumbass.
Takes one to know one…
I posted this other day, but it seems appropriate again:
dumbass – 80 definitions – Someone who looks up the word “dumbass” in a dictionary.
I find that comment quite offensive, the preferred term is “brilliant donkey”.
I find your screen name quite offensive, ZA, the preferred term is “day of reckoning involving persons of an undead nature”.
Undead? Haven’t you heard, the preferred term for that is “living impaired”. But “day of reckoning involving persons of a living impaired nature” is to long for a zombie to handle.
Besides, zombies are used to the living being offended by them.
living challenged.
I
stand layam now corrected.I find your screen name…uh…long.
*across the pond squeeze*
I find your squeeze long, and I raise you Frank Sinatra and John Adams as Zombies.
Well, I find your name…uh…oh…SHORT! YEAH! Didn’t see that one coming, right? RIGHT?!
*squeezes back and doffs hat*
You forgot “anti-semitic”.
Wha?! I don’t see- Oooh, I get it.
I smell a pattern.
Sniffing your avatar again, Aja?
Ooh, is it scratch ‘n sniff???
The asscream vendor, did he die?
he was put on ice.
Holy preparation H! Thats my citys news station! Wooooo!!!
Did the blog break? Arthur?
Don’t ask him, blame him.
Don’t ask don’t tell pt.2?
Let’s see…
Nope. I’ll work on that. In the meantime you can blame me for NOT breaking it…
Damn you and your not breaking things.
*shakes tiny moomin fists in rage*
*squooshy marshmallow-squeeze*
Sorry. I still need lots of squeezes today.
Ah, honey! I wish I could *squeeze* you for realsies!
*squeeze*
Me too, sweetie.
*explodes into moominos*
*gives DW a squillion teeny marshmallow squeezes*
Fankoo.
It’s TEXAS, what do you expect? They don’t know the difference between “ass cream” and “ice cream”.
Ass-cream vendor? Must be needed for Butt Drilling.
They can’t say ‘Baconlube’ as it’s free advertising.
…or immediately after
Does she have a rash?
No, it’s a tiny chef that tells her what to do….
That would explain why she always wears the chef hat!
*directs anchorwoman to do another report*
That’s just her Texas accent showing through. When I lived in Houston, it was common to hear people pronouncing ‘ice’ as ‘ass’. The best is when someone in a grocery store asks to buy a ‘sack of ass’!
in the mountains of arkansas, toothless men are heard to ask for “lazy sack of ass.”
Meh, not so sure. Here in El Paso, we are the part of Texas that the rest of Texas says is New Mexico. The “Texas accent” doesn’t apply here – people here are more far likely to have Mexican accents than a “Texas twang.” (People are always surprised to learn I’m from Texas, because Ah dawn’t taawwk lahk uh Tayxen.)
Having said that, I don’t watch the local news very often so I don’t know that particular anchor, so I can’t say for certain – she might be from east Texas and indeed have the accent, but it doesn’t sound like it in the rest of the clip.
FWIW.
…
— … ?
You need ass cream, STAT!
Spaces dammit, spaces!
Like this? d a m m i t
OMG, he needs *ss to mouth!
Is that legal?!
Interesting question. You should take it up with Bill Clinton.
resessu…recussic…recesus…aw, heck with it. Let’im die.
Judy!! You got the first genuine *SNORK* from me today!
Patience folks, maybe his brain is … um … no longer consuming oxygen. Maybe it takes him a moment or two to compose his post and he wanted us all to know he was preparing for the event.
*waits more patiently than anyone else can for z’s brilliance to shine*
*hopes he won’t be disappointed*
*fears he will*
I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I think he might be de-composing his com-post.
You see folks, the fun part is, that this brilliant comment was actually made by
.
.
.
.
.
ME!
Yes, I had to get rid of my email, ’cause I was at work and therefore I needed to leave a comment, otherwise no fake email would have been saved on the computer. I didn’t want to identify myself so that I’m not guilty of name-and-avatar-changing. But now, after ya’ all bashed me that much I thought I should clear that up…
*squeezeall*
z is having his periods… all at once.
It is a special blend.
ummm serve w/grey poop on
*offers Emp home rain-and-wind-repellent in large spray bottle*
Does this bottle have any H2O content? If so Do Not Want.
Do Not Watch
She shouldn’t have said “…excuse me, ICE cream vendor” and no one would have noticed.
She’s pretty. Perhaps making some a$$cream with her is a good idea
It looks like Phoebe Cates put on a few pounds.
tv will do that to a fine looking woman.
i love idiots
I love idiots, too. Ribbons … not so much.
Just FYI: We are getting absolutely pummeled by a terrible storm out here on the west coast! Rain, and 50 mph wind gusts. The palm trees in our parking lot have been stripped of their fronds, and the flag on the flagpole in the next building complex is in tatters. It has been raining since 4:00 a.m….
Clear blue skies here, quite nice!
Keep safe, LGB. Hopefully you don’t lose power. Although I don’t mind an outage now and then, as long as it’s not too long. It’s an excuse to break out some candles, maybe a bottle of wine, play a board game, read a book…
Thanks, Brewski.
I don’t mind outages either, as long as you can be comfortable for the duration. It can get as hot as 110°F where I live, and we routinely lose power during the summer here.
I may have to pretend the power is out one of these days. I wonder where I put all those candles…. hmmmmm….
I suspect this “power outage” is most likely to occur when Rooster is in the room…
Power outages can lead to many healthy activities!
Hang on to your kitties, lgb!
Those too.
*snork!*
*snork* x2
I leave for a few hours and THIS is what I return to??? What have I missed????????
If I only had a ________(fill in the blank)!
Wow, where in West Coast LGB? I’m in CA on the coast and we just have light rain….
Central Valley — near Sacramento. It’s my understanding the whole northern half of the state is experiencing it.
thx, BE CAREFUL!!
Thanks, zooomz, will do.
*hides under desk*
It’s raining in SoCal, too. It’s supposed to get heavier as the afternoon/evening progresses. They’re saying over 4 inches of rain above the recent burn areas — possibly very bad.
We’re getting icy rain here today. Very cold, grey, overcast, sleety.
I’m not at all fond of winter.
I don’t welcome winter’s arrival. The reduced period of sunlight depresses me. The occasional stunningly beautiful sunny morning after an overnight snow can make up for a lot of misery, though.
Oooh, that’s true! There is much beauty in winter.
I like snow. The crisp whiteness buries the dull grey of the manmade world.
Which leads me to believe I am in the wrong line of work. I need to sort my life out.
You should operate a snow cannon.
*squeeze*
I could apply for the job of Jack Frost.
*squeeze*
I would rather work for sun microsystems. I’m a summer guy. Football in the park… you know.
We’ll jobshare. You work winter, I’ll work summer.
Deal!
I have always thought that I was solar powered. I don’t require heat – but sunlight is crucial to my well being.
Fortunately, I have a lifted 4X4 truck so I can still get to work no matter how badly the burn areas try to run for the ocean. Unfortunately, I have a lifted 4X4 truck so I can still get to work no matter how badly the burn areas try to run for the ocean.
They’ve been hydromulching the hills for the last few weeks, but I have a feeling it hasn’t had a chance to really do much good yet. Hopefully the rains don’t wash it all down.
Is it bad in Santa Barbara yet?
I used to live in Los Angeles – earthquakes, mudslides, fires – one day we had an actual tornado, ripped the corner off the convention center – plus an earthquake, plus torrential rain.
I miss it
Eep!
*hides under the bed*
*comes out of the wall*
rawr!!!!!
*kicks STSZ in the ass just to hear him scream*
*snerk*
*breaks leg off (mine) and whacks Admiral with it*
*disarms ass with leg, creams him with it*
*bites Admiral*
Wow, Admiral. You basically said, “Bite me” and he actually did. How…special…of him.
*clicks the “ignore” button and goes to the breakroom for cake*
I’m gonna have some pie, sans mode.
OO! Pie!!
Pie is even better than cake.
i am the winner of eurovision!
did she die?!?!?!?!?!
You misspelled dialect.
*screams*
*head explodes*
*head desk*
*x5*
…alà Shadow…
*looks for halibut*
*considers copyrighting this actions*
*looks at the massive amount of paperwork BFF has to do to maintain his copyright*
*decides to sleep on it*
*ahem*
*removes extra ‘s’*
*stores for later use*
*sneaks in and steals “s” for no good reason, tucks into hidden pocket, and sneaks out*
*janitor watches but still is sweeping*
Oh goodie!
*whips out the Sham-Wows*
*starts cleaning up the mess left behind by BFF’s head explosion*
*noms a few extra pieces of gray matter, knowing he has lots to spare*
mmmmm, braaaaaaaaaiiinnnssss.
Can I have some?
He’s been arested?!?!
Now where am I gonna get my ass-cream?
Off the ET finger.
Can you help him/her Judy?
*rubs hands together maniacally*
Oh … my …
*runs to get mind bleach*
Since when did Linda Ronstadt work in El Paso?
When I’m not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself ‘Scoop Dogg.’
~Snoop Dogg
Scoop Dogg?
Sounds like a council park pitshicker.
Vanilla Ice would have been the obvious choice for an ice-cream parlour owner.
” hey Lt Dan here your ass cream Lt Dan ass cream”
She appears to move very jerkily, and she repeats her self a lot. That’s not good. *worried look*
*worried look*
I can’t find any brains…can you help me find some?
talk about a fruedian slip!
That’s how they say it in the south. She’s just letting her accent slip a bit.
She really must have had a time in news anchor lose the accent boot camp. That’s a strong deep South accent to say “Ahh” for “I”. I never thought about the implications of an “s” sound coming after that. “I said” becomes “Ahh sayed”, and ice cream…well, I guess I’m going to have to stiffle a giggle the next time I hear that down here.
Cute brunette talking about ass cream? this should go in Hawtness!
She just wants an ass-creaming
You stay Classy El Paso.
Just be happy the cream isn’t sour.
I hate these TV personalities always looking for a sponsor. She had heard earlier that day that Tucks was releasing a new ass-cream product.
Geesh. The NERVE of them!!
What is >zap<dot org?? mean.
It’s from the early versions of FAIL.org videos, where the bicyclist got zapped by lightning
This is why it’s Anchorman! Not Anchor-lady!
i wonder what a$$ cream tastes like
I suppose it might taste like a$$
She’s hot… what’s her name?
*zombies everywhere* I scream “rawr”
You scream “ahhhhhh”
We all scream *zombies* “rawr” *humans* “aaahhhh!!!”
for A$$ scream
I’d love to fill her a$$ with cream!!!
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ass cream.
I already covered that
look up a couple posts
please reply so i get mails
Okay. You may consider yourself replied to. Hello.
“ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!”
or was it “I SCREAM! I SCREAM!” in that godly game called “Speedball 2″?
*runs over all the players with an ambulance coming to get the injured player*
i could totally go for some ass-cream lol
407 comment
I´d hit it! And give her some ass cream too.
WTF with the ads?
I’d hit it.
I’d hit it, too.
ASS CREAM!
AVGN Cream
ASS CREAM!
Cream
Adrienne Alvarez! I USED TO DATE HER! STRAIGHT FROM EL PASO BABY!
I would happily pour some cream on her… well, that’s too gross.
Scuse me, where is the fail ? She pronounces “anscream” instead of “ice cream”, ok, it can happen to everyone. It’s not original.
She must have seen a little to much 2 girls 1 cup
I would totally cream her ass.
Interesting ..
) !
diddo for anyone who thinks she’s pretty!
fruedian-slip + pretty-young news anchor = SEXY-AS-F%$#!!!
I vended some ass cream when I got up this morning….stupid frozen burritos last night.
They are both white its easy to get confused.
She has the hots for Seth Green, you A@@wipe !
these comments always degenerate into lame chit chat after one or two posts…what ever happened to commenting on the actual video? You people need to get some actual friends to talk to.
Oh god, I really hope it wasn’t chocolate.
Its funny how much shit happens at these news stations
hey i live in el paso!!!
I’d like to cream in her ass
hawtness win!
wow, in germany they say fisting instead of phishing
She’s hot. No fail!
Your point is that hot women have the right to commit stupid mistakes without getting laughed at?
I would like to cream her ass…
Anti-depressants anyone? Anyone?
She’s so fine, this isn’t a fail at all just enjoy!
I scream,you scream we all scream for ass-cream!
hahah i work with her and shes the butt of all jokes.. lol but shes cool about it.
I’ll give her some asscream
Holy shit! Did she say El Paso?! How did I miss this?
Eh?
so what, it was a slip up.