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Cheezburger Company Blog
NAWT THIRD!!!
NAWT SAFETY!!!
TEACH TAUT!!!
Hey let someone else go first LOL.
LETS GO!!!
*streaks through blog*
Great. Now the pants shortage is even more acute.
It could be worse. You could have lost your pants on Commando Thursday… oh, wait. You did.
*squeeze*
*Squeeze!*
Hell, I don’t even need to be here to lose them. Sometimes I wonder why I bother getting dressed in the morning.
Lets got to Brew’s house and take all his pants. He doesn’t need them!
But the thrill of the chase is what makes it fun!
Oh no you don’t! I cherish my collection!
Like the red-and-purple striped pants… and the Mickey Mouse pants… and the ones with orange seahorses… and of course, my MC-Hammer-esque parachute pants!
What if we got you all those in boxers instead? Would that be sufficient? Plus some Homer Simpson boxers, ok?
Parachute boxers???
What? You don’t like the idea? You could always just go… without.
Parachute boxers might come in handy for when you crash and burn on a date — you can parachute to safety!!
Butt – of course “you” is used generically – I am NOT implying that you – Brewski – would have the need for such an escape.
ELSA!!
*IreallymissedyouSKA-WEEZE*
Hey there — RL is taking over!!! I’m back at work full time trying to make up as many billable hours as possible before the end of the year and the decisions on next years comp; my ex is trying to get custody of my 13 yr old daughter and I am getting my house reasy to put on the market (not anticipating a good salary decision)…. Oh, and i got 2 kittens that my younger dog things are toss toys…..
Hey — maybe I need a pair of parachute boxers!! (trying reelee hard not to use LOLspeak as I was posting there too and my brain is not very nimble this morn…)
Brew, you can chase us around as we grab your collection.
Elsa *super squeeze* going through similar.
*takes pictures*
*asks for autograph*
NAUGHTY NAUGHT!!!
You said lets go……so I did!
tsk tsk…
And if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do that too??
FRAUGHT VAULT!!!
2 words “parachute boxers”
Give me a F
give me a U
give me a z
another z.
Mexican Safety!!
avoiding sunburn is important
Whoa.
Rein it in there Fluffy!
*sigh*
We’re just tack-ing on pun-runs to this fail, aren’t we?
What else are we going to do when we’re saddled with one such as this?
Stirrup some trouble?
Puns are the mane thing we can do but to stirrup trouble wins hands down.
Spur it on?
Live and let livery?
You don’t need to hoof it to keep up.
I spurs it may get a bit lame…
I’m sorry I’m so aw-filly late getting here. There was a bit of a stampede at work.
Quit horsing around, peeps – this is serious!
Time to hog-tie all you slackers -
That’s not a rope 0.0
That’s not a window.
They’re not pillows 0.0
That’s not a lava lamp.
That’s not a fail, thats a-…
Sorry. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
This is not an entry in the log book.
That’s not a Russian weather satellite.
At least, probably not.
That is NOT a weather balloon!
WIN D’OH!!
that’s what the cord is there for silly.
Saftey 3rd.
safe⋅ty, n. – [saff-tee]
1. Hmmm… umm… yep, I got nothin’.
Whoops. Failblog has me unable to spell a word wrong even if I want to. Good job, I guess?
*rearranges letters to the appropriate misspelling*
Epic FB Spell Check WIN!!!!11ebenty!!
Safe Tea – noun – tea which causes no physical or emotional damage whilst drinking it.
ZAP ZING’D DAT
window pain in 3… 2… 1…
Is it likely to be a pain in the glass?
I just know that he better not be slow as a glazier.
Don’t frit, sir, we’ll get you back inside in no time!
Keep your glaze up. Donut look down.
He’s sure to make a hole if he falls.
It’s clear as dough.
This pun run needs more jam!
*has a lick*
Sweet!
*kneads Jam*
Is it me, or has the Diet Coke guy really let himself go. (clicky)
That’s my step-ladder, I never knew my real ladder.
He just stepped out on you when you were but a wee stool, eh?
*raises eyebrow*
Are you implying I was a little sh1t?
*crosses arms, taps foot*
Why, yes, yes I am.
Why do you think he left???
I don’t think I like you anymore. :[
*rappels down, attached to a bungee cord*
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!!
*boings back up into the air and soars away*
Oh, my sweet Moomin, this saddens me.
Don’t worry. The wee stool will soften up eventually.
*smooch!*
ROFFLE! You funny, lil marshmallow.
*whispers*
♪ … I’m high as a kite,
and I just might
stop to check you out… ♪
Belt up ladies and gents!
… it’s gonna be long flight.
I’ve got my belt. And my suspenders. All fail-safe systems should include redundancy.
Nothing is safe from fail around here!
I thought I was getting the hang of things, but I’m just about at the end of my rope!
I think you should try a two raincoats — for extra protection
Fail-safe system is fail-safe.
… except when he forgets he forgot his pants.
Shhhh! Don’t remind him!
Break glass in case of fail-safe fail.
I think I have to send this picture to our human performance/ saftey director. He is going to get a kick out of it.
To be fair, this is slightly less dangerous than it would be without the rope … as long as you’re not the guy holding the rope, obviously.
What do you mean? He just has to let go if the other guy falls, then there is no problem. Tsk.
If you were trying to be rapelling, you’re doing it wrong.
Well, it does look like the guy holding the rope is falling asleep. He may not need to wait until he falls to let go.
You just know his foot is inside a curl of rope.
He’ll get a *squeeze* when the guy falls?
The sort of Squeeze you wish had never been Squoze?
I find it painful to even look at that photo. I wish the guy had wrapped the rope around himself, too, instead of just holding it in his hands.
I wish the guy had looped the wrope around all the furniture, through a keyhole, down the stairs etc.
They’re not that close; they occasionally belay together, that’s all.
“Guys, the windows on the top floor need to be cleaned. Looks like a perfect job for Reckless John and Miguel the narcoleptic.”
“Oh, and send up Tim the indifferent to keep an eye on things”
But Tim the indifferent would never bother taking Photos….so who took this?
*shrugs*
Sarah the mute. She had to show the pictures afterwards to explain what exactly happened.
I hope he doesn’t get caught line down on the job.
As the HR and Safety Manager, I find this high-larious!
This high-larity is very welcome after the recent low points on the blog.
*squeeze!*
It does feel like a refreshing change. I’m feeling high on life today!
*squeeze*
Me too! And your squeeze just elevated my spirits!
Today is looking up!
It’s afraid to look down.
All of you make my heart soar!
You make my paraglider sore!
I like how that guy with the rope is balancing a lava lamp on the bill of his hat.
It’s Cirque de Failblog!
There are no glasses in the windows, he’s just miming.
I like how the rope is plugged in the socket.
lol … he wanted to be a light load
That’s for the rope’s safety, in case it slips out of the guy’s hand, it’s still plugged in and won’t fall to the ground.
It’s already grounded because the plug has an earth?
3-pronged plugs are down to earth. Safety third!
When the guy holding the rope falls asleep and loses his grip on the rope, a bell starts to ring to wake him up. It is however likely that the sound will startle the guy cleaning the windows.
Oh so THAT’S the fail! Where is funnyboi when you need him?
Also – did you notice he’s not using a Shamwow? Double fail!
RRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Cut me some slack, man!
Wait! No! I meant metaph- *thud!*
Gravity win!
He failed to understand the gravity of the situation.
slacker
Hang on.
♪ Holding out for a hero ♪
everybody else tries to put my Sloopy down
♫ You just keep me hanging on! ♫
♫ (cinch, you’re gone)
Since you’re gone
nights are gettin’ strange
(cinch, you’re gone)
Since you’re gone
thrownin’ it all away ♫
LMAO !!!
♪ If I fall back down,
you’re gonna help me back up again.
If I fall back down, you’re gonna be my friend… ♪
♪ Catch my fall, if I should stumble ♪
*phone rings* Oh let me get that, it might be important. Dude? Dude? Where did he go?
Cool, a bungee window service. Just like Wallace and Gromit!
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!
*shakes hands back and forth, fingers curled down*
Care for some Wensleydale? I’ll get the crackers!
Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!
It’s a matter of loaf and death!
Nice melons!
Too right it’s a safety fail, the rope-holder should have gloves on. If the other guy slips he’s going to get bad rope-burn.
*shakes head in disgust*
Not to mention whiplash from the end of the rope. Tsk!
It’s all about whips with you.
You whipped Brewski’s pants off in the last fail, now you’re whipping that poor man in the hat.
*unleashes the whippet*
Run boy run! Fetch me some marshmallow.
The chair in the last fail isn’t the right type to be used with a whip. Needs less motorbike.
Gah! Stop swamping me with orders for mallows! I’m bogged down enough as it is.
Less motorbike, more lion?
A’marsh’ut my gob then. PbbbbH!
I won’t be lion on it. That would make me a cheetah.
I take o-fens at that.
These lynx are getting tenuous.
The lynx need morass.
*squeezeybums and flees*
*whips up a fury*
GAH!
*cries*
oh you said fury
You have a soft spot for furries?
No just irritable vowel syndrome.
Feeling fairly fiery?
Wait. Brewski already lost his pants?
*checks watch*
Well, not lost. We know where they are, they’re just not near him.
*snorkroffleSQUEEZE*
And a face shield for when he gets pulled into the glass window.
It’s the old rope-a-dope trick.
Let’s hope,
There’s no soap,
On that rope.
Haul up the pope,
Give him a grope,
And then you can elope.
I would mope,
If I had to elope,
With the pope.
How would I cope?
Ride an antelope,
With the pope,
Up a slope.
No time to mope,
Widen your scope,
There is hope.
Nope!
There is no hope,
If the antelope,
Has no telescope.
(That last one may have pushed the envelope.)
Alright, who droped the soap?
Don’t be a dope and pick up that soap.
Nope nope nope!
The first thing that came to my mind was, ouch ropeburn
The first thing that came to my mind was, “Wow, what a great view. But it would be much better if there wasn’t some guy in the way.”
The first thing that came to my mind was the guy on the outside of the window falling and taking the guy holding the rope down with him, cartoon style. They land in a heap on the pavement below and a little dust cloud billows up.
… with a little sign that says *POOF*.
*giggles*
hey…leave my people alone…..
Failblog Bible stories:
“Let my people go!”
Meh.
amen
Ramen?
His Noodly Appendage?
*moseys along*
hard workers….
JUMP YOU FÜCKERS!!!
Ahem. Sorry, for a moment I thought that were some bankers.
Ummmm hate the bankers much AE.
I was referring to that picture (clicky).
Now that is a win if I ever saw one.
Did that picture become a cultural icon in the US? ‘Cause here I see it almost every day in the newspapers and magazines.
I’ve never seen it before. But I live in a cave. Also called a “cubicle”.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Well, I guess that makes my joke-attempt a fail.
The US is a bit too pro-free-markets to rally around something like that.
Sadly, not much has changed. So, this whole crash is likely to happen again, unless the government enacts some more significant regulatory changes.
Usually it’s the government’s intervention that is responsible for the problem – and this is no exception.
If you mean the diminished regulations in the previous years you are correctl.
Can’t agree with you there, WN. It’s widely agreed, by economist from all political stripes, that this meltdown was largely due to a lack of regulatory oversight. If you need further evidence of what happens with completely free markets, without government “interference”, look at the Great Depression.
Smart regulation is essential to a stable and prosperous capitalist society.
And if you’re referring to the bailout… the vast majority of economists agree that we would now be in a second great depression had we not done something. The entire banking system would have failed, just like the 1930′s.
Note: I don’t agree with all that’s been done, and lots of mistakes have been made. But to claim that the only problem here is too MUCH government interference is a fallacy.
I will never understand this government-hating… I’m too European, I guess.
More government means more taxes. And in some cases, unwelcome government meddling in the affairs of individual citizens.
Personally, I think both left and right in the US welcome “government meddling”. The disagreement is over the type of meddling.
What many fail to acknowledge is that there are a lot of good things govt does. We have roads, bridges, safe air travel, safe drinking water, safe air (in most cases), fire protection, unemployment insurance, Social Security, Medicare, etc. Sure there’s lots of waste, but same is true at any private firm. Many forget that up until WWII, most people in the USA had to work until they died. If they couldn’t work, they had to have their children support and care for them. Social Security has led to a completely different quality of life for seniors and their children. Now people take an independent retirement for granted.
Hey, you don’t need to persuade me! We invented social security! I’m all for a strong government, even though I think it should perform better – which includes knowing when to stop meddling.
Pretty much the same thing here. The Deutsche Bank has record results, the party continues. Until next time…
The real fail is that the lava lamp is not plugged in!
OT:
New high score on Bejeweled Blitz – 218,400.
I got 233,000 last night!
You floored me with that last night, Ms B. I’ll never catch up.
It’s funny, I was half-asleep. I kept telling myself “one more game, one more game.” When all of a sudden it pops up with “Do you want to post this on your wall?” I was like HELL YEAH!
Is anyone else of the opinion that when the guy says, “Excellent!”, he sounds just a little bit too much like Mr. Burns?
I play without sound. It creeps me out to have the computer talk to me, even if it is praising me.
I play without sound too. If the sound is on I can’t get the little one to leave me alone!
I’ve been *snorkroffling* for ten minutes reading this blog. My office-mate thinks I’ve finally gone off the deep end! You guys actually made me cry! Way to go, Fail Peeps!
And to you, m’lady.
*squeeze*
Ah, there there, LG. Here, have a ShamWow.
Say, I think I found your “Blue”. Would you like to be Blue again?
*squeeze*
♪ I’m blue, dabba-dee, dabba-di… ♪
*shrugs*
I guess that would be okay. I’m sorta gettin’ used to just being “Little Girl,” though. You wanna stay blue for awhile? Take the weekend to think it over. Ask yourself, “Do I really wanna be BrewBlueski for another few days?” Do some soul-searching. Find your inner Brewskiness, and perhaps the answer will come to you — when you are at peace and one with the universe.
*runs by her post*
*swipes her own ‘Blue’*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
♫ Oh, I got the blues!
Got ‘em real bad!
The best darned blues this Brewski ever had!
The kind of blues I can use and use…
Those Brewski Failblog Little-Girl blues! ♫
All I think when I read BrewBlueski is Labatt’s Blue.
May I also commend to your attention the Chimay Blue?
YES!!! I like that much better.
Just popping in long enough to ask everyone to give a listen to at least one of JWL’s more uplifting songs today in honor of what would have been his 69th birthday. Remember, All You Need Is Love, and that maybe someday we really will Give Peace a Chance. (You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.)
Let it be!
♪1magine all the people
living life in peace ♫
Today’s Lennons birthday? I guess only the most brilliant people are born on this very day…
Whee! I only just saw.
*burpdaysqueeze*
*squeeze*
♪ Imagine no John Lennon… it’s easy if you try… ♪
*superspecialanklesqueezewithbowsandsparkles*
Congratulations!
Now, THAT’S what I call a master-squeezer! I can only do that:
*theusualsqueezepects-anklesqueeze*
Thank you!
Oooo! I’m glad I checked back! Why didn’t you say something sooner. Now we know why you were posting with a buzz lääst night!
Congrats, buddy!
*bearhugsqueeze*
Thank you, Sir!
Yeah, that was the reason. And surprise – today I have a hääng ööver. I’m getting old…
And yet you call Dragon and me, “ma’am and sir”.
You are an Admiral. You could bomb me if I don’t.
Are you hanging around a while?
No! I’m at work, I would never do that!
If so, I hope you’ve a better pulley system than this guy ^^.
Someone with wheelie good hands, then.
(*arty-jammin’ squeeze*)
We shouldn’t change gear from Arthur’s birthday though.
*blockandtacklesqueeze*
Is today your day, Arthur? And you’ve been holding out on us all this time?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Thanks!
Yeah, I’m half seventy now. If I say it in the most depressing way, that is…
Pffft, you’re just two teenagers rolled into one.
You’re over a third of a century old?
Oh, I’m sorry, at that age you probably can’t hear me.
You’re over a third of a century old?!?!
What? Errm yes, it’s in the fridge.
*specialdaysqueezes!*
You’re only as old as you act. Which puts you at…12!
Hey! I was far more mature when I was 12!
*thankyousqueeze*
Happy Birthday!
*birthdaysqueezes*
*wheels in a birthday cake, complete with sprinkles*
*pops champagne*
¿ǝʌɐɥ ǝʍ pןnoɥs ɹǝǝq ɟo puıʞ ʇɐɥʍ ‘ıʞsʍǝɹq
I think Arthur would prefer a good pils, either German or Czech! How about Budweiser Budvar, Arthur?
Yes please!
You got that wrong, seven is more than half of seventy. Guess you’re too young to be able to divide properly
*sucks on thumb*
*wets pants*
*cries*
You’ve just described a Friday night in Newcastle city centre.
But not the Bigg Market … not without the addition of “pavement pizzas”.
Happy Birthday Arthur!
Thank you, Scotty!
noble peace day!
*Waves lighter in air*
♪ And we all shine on! Like the moon and the stars and sun ♫
I certainly do. Do you live near a nuclear power plant, too?
I work about 200 yards from the 2nd nuclear reactor ever built and operated.
Please tell me it’s out of business since 1980!
♫LIVIN ON A PRAYER!♪
Forgot to tell you guys! I had a dream last night that all of the Fail Peeps got together and had a huge party! It was awesome! I even ¡magined what everone looked like. It was very detailed and real.
Ah! Welcome to the I’m So Addicted to Failblog I Dream About It club.
Someone get her a jacket!!!
I am not sure what I dream about at night, but when I sleep I sometimes do things to my wife.
Apparently very good and naughty things, but in the morning I can barely remember we did anything. This happens at least once or twice a week.
She has laid down a rule that I am not allowed to sleep in close proximity to anyone else for fear of what would result.
Does your dog occasionally sleep in your bed?
No, he not allowed outside of his room.
She can borrow mine. It’s one of those new-fangled ones with sleeves that tie at the back. It’s a little difficult to take off, though …
*struggles*
Now the fun part would be to get a composite-sketch artist, and see how close you came to being correct!
In my case, you can find my picture in the post office.
Woohoo!
*squeeze*
This is NOT a FAIL. This is how work gets done everyday in the world of construction. My take is someone posted this because its ‘too risky’ form themself and as such they labeled it as a fail.
…Then it’s a “risky” win!
I hoped he sneezed.
Why? If he knows what he’s doing and keeps his balance, he’s all right. You don’t NEED massive precautions if you can work without them. It’s typical American over-protectionism: everything in America needs to be absolutely safe, or else you risk to be sued by someone who is stupid enough to fail. Over time, you’ve just lost the doublethink aspect and actually started to believe you need every precaution possible to do something properly.
I guess wherever you live you don’t really value human life. Here is one problem. There is a simple solution do doing this correctly. That’s the whole point. If it would be really hard to do this safely I could understand trying something stupid like this. But why? And fall protection isn’t even costly. The employer is responsible to provide it and fall protection is reusable. How about the value as a work force. Do you not understand the importance of that? How much is lost if one of these men are injured or killed? Can they be easily replaced? Do they have specialized training for their field and when they can no longer work do you have to spend more money training a new person. That is a financial loss. There are many reasons to do a job safely. Also, when someone is injured on the job it affects moral and then others don’t feel important and productivity goes down. another financial loss. I value all the people I am responsible for. I want them to be safe. I want them to go home from work each day and play with their kids and grandkids. I want them to enjoy life not suffer because they didn’t have the tools and equipment they need to be safe.
When you don’t have to pay for safety harnesses, you can charge less for your services. I say it’s a win!
You pay more in other ways. When someone gets hurt . It will cost more for doctors bills, lawsuits and loos of productivity than a harness and lanyard costs to buy. They really don’t cost very much.
Also, you will pay more for your workers compensation insurance every year for a reportable injury.
does OSHA know about this?
not worth it…
http://www.kesarsdailyfix.com
Now get in there and PUT IT IN!!!!!!!
“dude, i feel like batman”
“nah, man, that’s just me tugging at this string.”
He’s wearing a rope, Wuts wrong?