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Cheezburger Network Blog
We don’t need no stinkin 4WD.
We don’t need no stinkin 16WD.
But if they had 16 tailpipes, I bet they would have screamed up there, no problem.
Hey, what happened to the Friday cuddle puddle?
Look VVV!
No it is not a VW.
It seems to be a Renault 5.
Yup, this is.
Lets start then.
We don’t find some stinkin WMD
I don’t think WD-40 will help much either.
They read “The Little Compact that Could” too much.
Turns out it can’t.
Hey qwaz! How’s life in WV? Anything interesting happening this rainy weekend?
Howdy velvet!
So far, skies are crystal clear here in the New River Valley.
Clear here, too. But it’s supposed to rain most of the weekend. Assuming The Weather Channel is right. And they’ve been 15 degrees off center, so it may not rain at all.
We don’t need no stinkin precipitation.
Velvet…I can’t find you on the “other” website! Could you send me a friends request, pls?
There is another website?
Yes. It was created by “them”.
What, the blancmanges?
Yes! They’re turning everyone into Scotsmen! We must stop th-
*trembles*
*suddenly sports orange beard, tartan kilt and that hat*
*runs awkwardly in the general direction of Scotland*
MUAHAHAHAHAHA! My plan is working!
…Was he flailing his arms in the air??
and *enter the awkward random guy with a gun* ♪Here I Come To Save The Day♫
*awkward silence*
I wish all men were Scotsmen. I like the kilts and the bagpipe-may-care attitudes.
My mom is a Hume and a paternal great aunt was born in Glasgow. Close enough?
I lived in Glasgow. You’re clearly a sexy beast.
Well yeah. Tell me something that I don’t know.
I wear a size 7 hat.
*brought to you by Overdone and Overeasy*
Young Eggling, What are you saying?
I could just be yoking around.
Are you frying?
I’m not cracking.
How do you like your eggs?
ermmm… Thrown at terrible comedians…
Not running rich enough to buy a more capable car.
It’s probably an Adobe. “You could buy a cheaper car, but I wouldn’t recommend it.”
Hood: optional. Windshield: optional. Brakes: optional. Options: optional. Ability to work: debatable.
adobe is a drawing program dilly
O rly?
ht tp://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86dadobe.phtml
“The little car that’s made out of clay!”
in soviet rssia cars ride youuuuu!!!eleven!!11111
in soviet russia car pull you
old seen it ages ago
I can see we’ll get these every Friday from now on…
I guess you missed the sentence:
.
Every Friday we’ll be bringing you back a classic FAIL Blog video from the past.
*sigh*
*makes note in logbook*
He, Ms B, Have you seen my name lately? I think i saw it last time when you were around…
It’d be kinda awkward if the Friday Rewind wasn’t old….
“Every Friday we’ll be bringing you back a classic FAIL Blog video from the past. Enjoy the epicness!”
Mr. Rogers?!? I thought you were dead!
u doo naut reed wurdz too wel doo u?
Yeah, this is on this website already…
IT LITERATELY DRIVES YOU!
MAD???
how do you get driven literately?
are there footnotes where the pedals should be?
You use fewer calories.
They dont build the ‘82 dodge dart like they used to…
…instead its the trailer pulling all the wait.
Wait, what?
I heave-y suspicion that it was something else.
It is Time to Pound out these problems of mine.
They couldn’t weight for a car with more pull.
*hauls in hot tub*
*climbs in*
Ahhhhhhhhhh… Just what I needed.
*strips off pants*
*notices pants have already been stripped*
*jumps in with Ms B*
*sips Sam Smith Nut Brown Ale*
*slips in as well*
*leaves cowboy hat on because that’s totally
tackyhot**continues staring at the puurrrdy glass…*
*Totally covers self in swim rings and other various flotation devices*
*Floats around, unable to move limbs*
Well, THIS isn’t as planned…
It’s for the best though. I don’t think robots and water mix.
Unless you’re one of them fancy waterproof robots…
I has a fancy!
You should probably get that looked at, then.
I gotta admit, it itches.
*Scratches elbow*
Itches?! You really are a fancy robot!
Wait… That’s not my name down there, isn’t it?
(oh God that i dont believe in, cause he’s so conflicting character…)
*gets into hot tub*
*dons scuba equipment*
Diving fetish?
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*resurfaces*
*grabs underwater camera*
*goes back under*
*click!*
Hey!! I saw what you did there…
You know you liked it.
I know I did!
Yeah, me too, and did you see my “maw” or “crow” down there?
I think so. Hang on.
*goes back underwater*
*resurfaces with a “maw” and a “crow”*
Here you go.
Yay! Thanks!
*smells*
Ugh! Where have these been, i have to wash these right away!
*adds a little chlorine to the hot tub*
Don’t worry — I didn’t add a bunch. Just enough to … well … work.
What a great idea! Mind if I join you?
Same here.
The more the merrier!
Ummm….is it legal for me to get in this tub?
BFF, you blow people up, shoot them, torch them, drive Jeeps off of cliffs, own an unauthorized tank, and have cloned yourself more times than you can count, and you’re worried about the legal ramifications of getting in a hot tub?
Don’t forget I smash them with mallets, run them over with my tank, feed them to the lions, and nuke them when I feel like.
.
To answer your question, yes.
He doesn’t break all the rules. Just some of them.
But…but…taking out trolls isn’t against the rules. Is it?!?!?!?
Well, no, it isn’t. But isn’t he too young to drive?
Oh, yeah. There is that.
I’m old enough to drive.
But is Bondfan?
That I don’t know.
Guess my age. G’wan, I dare ya.
15?
*is hopeful*
*bells ring*
CORRECT!!! MR. SHADOW, YOU’VE WON TEN MILLION INTERNETS!!!
*lights flash*
*studio audience cheers*
OMIGOD!
*girly scream*
*steals mic out of BFF’s hand, ignoring the astonished look on his face*
I’d like to thank the academy…
*takes mic*
Shadow, I’m glad you won, and I’m-a let you finish, but -
*POW!*
*falls over*
*Wild applause*
*Loves Shadow, really loves Shadow*
He’s such a jackass.
*back straights*
Mr. President! I didn’t know you were in the area!
Obama? Is that YOU!?
Yes, it’s me, Qwaz.
And Bondfan, I’m very disappointed in you. Give me the tank and the nuclear warheads, then go to your room.
*is unsure if he has jurisdiction in England*
*hangs head in shame*
Yes, sir.
*hands over the controls to nuclear missiles*
*hops out of tanks*
*slowly climbs stairs to room*
Good.
*waits until he has heard BondFan’s door shut*
*climbs into tank and starts driving around, smashing everything in sight*
Obama would have more sway in England than Gordon Brown.
*opens door*
Mr. President, are you alright down there? I thought I heard some crashes, and-
OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!
By the way, if i remember correctly, Bondfan was japanese, right? Aand… Molotov coctails! Finn weapon of ultimate tank destruction during winter war! Take that, shadow!
Someone call?
No? Oh well.
*Chases after Obama’s tank smashing stuff up with crow bar*
A Tiller the Pun, you’re half right. About BondFan that is.
*golf claps Avis*
*bows ceremonially*
And the nuclear weapons likely violate one of the arms-control treaties.
At the very least.
Pfft. Details.
*cannonballs into the hot tub*
Oh good, the water was getting a little cool. Would you be so kind DW?
Oh yeah, and*fridaysqueeze*
Hey, she got in it, didn’t she?
*gets steamy*
Yeah, that thingy, the whatchamacalit, you know, the”Non-Nuclear Proliferation Treaty”? Small print.
*gets bored and fires off a few nukes*
Ok, he’s breaking lots of rules. And their not exactly small ones…
Where’s Leila to send him to his room when we need her?
Isn’t Leila’s daughter’s wedding this weekend?
*changes into retro pair of Jams*
*slides into hot tub*
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh
A pair of jams?
Jam has a twin?
twins exist
I don’t know about a pair of Jams, but Jam has quite a pair.
I can’t believe you said that!
Lol, I debated whether to hit “Add Comment”. Did I go too far?
Au contraire… I don’t think you went far enough…
I probably wouldn’t have posted it, but it made me laugh out loud!
I wouldn’t worry, jam has a good sense of humour.
It was way too good for me to pass up though.
“Peter…I’m holding pears!”
In that case, we should arrange a Conference.
Anjou hold them quite well. Nice hooters, by the way.
*pets the owls*
Tanks!
*handles the festoonery*
*smooch*
*slips into a not-terribly-revealing swimsuit*
*gracefully dives into the cuddle puddle*
*smiles contentedly*
*squeeze*
Heehee, it did, and before I even delivered it! V
*squeezes the both of ya*
*passes NightShayde a pom martini*
*hopes it has the desired effect*
Hi! Didn’t get to finish playing in the cuddle puddle earlier. Can I join in now? And I’d love to try a pom martini! No fwapping with a pillow, I promise.
Judy, slide your bum over here…
*poms*
Thanks, Adm. I’m a bit burnt out trying to get a good score on Bejeweled. I just don’t understand how everyone is getting such high scores in only one minute! I severely struggled to get over 50k.
*latecrewsqueezes!!!*
Scotty! I didn’t get a chance to talk to you before you met Ben. Don’t know if I missed a fail thread or a facebook comment. How did you happen to be there?
Yeah, I put up a report in the last fail.
I just saw the notice on ICHC that he was going to be speaking at Google’s DC office, and it was open to the public. It was actually very interesting. Across the Cheezburger sites they get over 1 million votes a day!
Oh, and they never heard back from Guinness after their reply! Heehee!
Ha! So much for the thread of Guiness!
I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to have you wish Ben a “Hey, howdy!” from me.
And what was Ben doing at the DC Google office? And are you in the DC area?
I suppose I could just go find the ICHC posting, and save you the trouble. But it’s more fun to chat with you!
No worries, I don’t mind chatting at all. Google DC has a speaker series, Ben was on the east coast to promote the new books, and they had him in to talk about the Cheezburger network, internet legislation, and whatever. I work in downtown DC, about 7 blocks from the Google office.
Oh, and to sign books afterward.
Wow, that’s pretty cool. Sorry I didn’t see it earlier so I could have you give a “howdy” from Ben for me! What do you do in DC.
Well, If you check my original post, I did have a nice, brief conversation with him about the Failpeeps.
As far as me, nothing exiting or federal. I manage the IT department for a law firm. It’s a good job with nice people, and it doesn’t consume my life.
You seemed to be pretty busy today yourself.
*nightcrewsqueeze!*
Need any refills on the poms?? I have plenty!
*squeezes* Thanks DW, but I’ll pass, it’s sleep time for me. Sweet dreams everyone.
‘Night, Scott. Thanks for everything you did today!
*squeeze!*
Good grief! Another law firm employee on FailBlog? I’m starting to see a pattern here…
Yes, Dragon, I’ll certainly have another pom refill. Thanks.
How’s the new class coming along?
Don’t take our writes away, Ben!
Did the guys working on the windows unplug something on their way out of the building?
Did this site go kaphlooey for a spell on anyone else?
Yeah, the problem was beyond your drum beat Internet protocol.
Not a total loss. I spent the time downloading pieces from pianosociety.com.
did he lose life?
*whacks Mario repeatedly with Goomba*
*tells BondFan to step aside and grabs a koopa and whacks Mario repeatedly*
Can’t we all just share the whackage?
*Grabs the Koopa King himself and whacks Mario… once. He’s a heavy guy.*
*Grabs Bonetail and whacks Mario repeatedly*
You misspelled lift.
that was a good question to raise
I know this is hours late, but…was he high?
Okay, what’s the low down?
*scratches head*
So… you follow the herd but wanna do it with your own style?
A certain Wendy’s commercial comes to mind.
And really, it should have been, “Did he Drive?”
That settles it. I’m not buying a pop-up camper. I don’t want my Malibu to look like that car.
Their brakes didn’t work at all.
*while holding a car brake in hand*
Hey you forgot this!
That’s what happens when you step on the hand brake.
*steps on the hand brake*
Ummm… time to hire a Failblog physics professor!
Seeing as I totally failed and wrote my first haiku on the previous fail… here’s one in the correct spot.
“Ode to Fail… v2.0″ – Shadow
Goin’ up a hill,
just driving along. Hang on…
… Why are we backing up?
*sees that last line has 6 syllables*
Y’know what, to hell with it.
*storms off*
You could just drop the “why”, Shadow
Yes, I know, but FailBlog lacks an “edit” button.
boooooring this has been on youtube for like a year, and pretty sure if you go back through the failfiles, you’ll find it somewhere.
*headdesk*
*x5*
Get used to it. Every Friday…
I considered the possibility of awarding them “one point” and asking them to let us know when they receive it, but it looked too much like troll activity to even bother with that
I think I’ll break out the halibut. Until they learn to read the caption under the video.
Trolls can read?
I guess that halibut will get lots of use then!
Should you shellac it again? You know, to protect it and stuff.
Maybe, but the rotten fish guts that might come out of it and splatter the troll would only be to our benefit. I will, of course, be wearing a haz-mat suit.
Nothing gets by you!
Except for his name.
He yells as if he’s lost it.
I bet his dog is name DOG! as well.
Now where did I put that?
*Notices pocket has a hole in it*
Uh oh… I must have dropped it.
Yet another DUPLICATE fail
*THWAP!*
I mean, honestly, even if they don’t read the captions, it says “FRIDAY REWIND” in big black letters!
Sorry Shadow, but that’s still expecting too much.
Again, I am reminded of my students…specifically, the ones who come up to me after class and ask a question that I HAD JUST ANSWERED not four minutes previously. Then they roll their eyes at me and act exasperated that I actually expect them to pay attention in class and am not willing to repeat everything I just said to them personally.
These would be the freshmen, right? RIGHT? Please, tell me it was the freshmen!!
*THWACKS with the halibut*
I did warn them.
Why did he go back down there for?
he forgot his wallet
Clearly, the gravity at the bottom of the hill was getting lonely, and the camper felt guilty for leaving. After the camper ‘convinced’ the car to go see gravity again, they were all soon reunited at the bottom of the hill in one large pile.
Hey all, have an awesome weekend! It’s a 3-day holiday weekend for me! Woot!
*goodbye squeezes*
I suppose you’ll need these, then.
*gives Brewski his pants back*
*squeeze*
*goodbyemegasqueeze*
The president gives his official *squeeze* too.
Me too! Enjoy it. *squeeze*
Me three, except the three-day weekend part.
*notworkingSaturdayanymoresqueezes*
*squeeze*
cya
Toodle-pip!
*squeeze*
I think I can … I think I can … I think I can …
I thought I could … I thought I could … I thought I could …
AZ! Zombies can’t, okay?
it’s alright, you just can’t, that’s all….
The red car who couldn’t.
Ha! This was shot at my home. It’s a viral, of course – but I’ve never seen it with the actual advert part still attached. Always tickles me to see it crop up again as a genuine home video, given they spent all day trying to make it look realistic.
Did he die?
… No, really, did the car driver die?
No, of course not. It’s a beautifully choreographed advert; made by Maverick Media (www.maverickmedia.co.uk) if I remember correctly. It’s just always been shown with the actual advert part stripped off.
High five! Anyone? *High fives self*
High at Five? How ’bout at 4:20
Not even old, ancient. Seeing this posted just really spells the death of failblog
You fail to not lack the ablility to understand FRIDAY REWIND.
I’m disrespectful to dirt!
Can you see I am serious!
Get out of my way, all of you!
This is no place for loafers.
Join me or die.
Can you do any less?
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.
I’m disrespectful to dirt!
Can you see I am serious!
Get out of my way, all of you!
This is no place for loafers.
Join me or die.
Can you do any less?
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.
I’m disrespectful to dirt!
Can you see I am serious!
Get out of my way, all of you!
This is no place for loafers.
Join me or die.
Can you do any less?
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.
I’m disrespectful to dirt!
Can you see I am serious!
Get out of my way, all of you!
This is no place for loafers.
Join me or die.
Can you do any less?
For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.
Sorry! it got stuck on rewind!
I should probably suffer from severe beatenwithboardswithnailsinthemitis in 3…3…2…1…
*pushes Alice’s “stop” button*
It’s okay, dear, here, have a drink of this…it will help you sleep.
*hands Alice thimble-full of dragon grog*
Is the grog really that strong?
Brewski must hold it like a pro.
I thought you knew? Brewski IS a pro!
SOoo, I don’t know if anyone else has gotten the FAIL Nation book. I got mine (signed!) today, and have been browsing through it. It’s well done. The Dicitionary and accidenty show up by page 6.
There are a few references to failpeeps as well. The last page is a map of the City of Fail, with locations like Diesel Fried Chicken, Failburger, and Free Mom Carwash. But then I noticed there’s also a building listed “Foom Arcade“!!!! That convinced me this part of the intro wasn’t accidental, “FAIL Nation has recently enjoyed a 9000 increase in tourism after a certain dilettante proclaimed…”
Yay for DW and Dilly!
Perhaps I’ll have to purchase a copy…I simply thought it would be full of previously-aired fails and nothing else.
So did I. Honestly if I wasn’t at the signing, I probably wouldn’t have gotten it. It’s cute though, they did it like a tourism guide to the nation of Fail.
*Signs up for a copy*
LONG LIVE FAIL NATION!
Well, I’ll need to get it, if only as a souvenir/remembrance.
*SNORK!!*
I’m absurdly touched that my *FOOOOM!* has been included in the book.
*wipes away a tear*
I got dibs on Dragon’s Lair.
I get dibs next if you fail! No cheating and putting in all the coins at once in the machine.
You are SO in the wrong thread right now.
Pfft. You know not of what you speak.
This one I know by heart.
Hahaha! That’s great. You’ll have to tell us what else you find regarding fail and cheez peeps.
For sure, as I read it more thoroughly I’ll report any other findings.
Proclaimed WHAT?? Don’t leave me hanging!!
Sorry, didn’t want to get too lengthy.
“The small landlocked country of FAIL Nation has recently enjoyed a 9000 increase in tourism after a certain dilettante proclaimed it’s coastline, “The most beautiful in the world.”"
WOOHOOO for dilly!!!
Oh sweet Jesus, Alice. After I had just gotten off my internet high…
(By the way, I see you’re rocking that Pokemon icon.
Not anymore. Now it’s Mythbusters!
f**k you charlie
Actual home videos would not normally have any OSD text and icons (i.e. battery icon, time index etc).
These things seem to only appear when it’s an advert staged to look like a DIY home video. Stupid.
They can be provoked to appear… but only if you’re piping the output from, e.g. a Hi-8 camera to a VHS recorder and are too dumb to turn the OSD off.
FRDAY REWIND! CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS? GET OUT OF MY WAY, ALL OF YOU! THIS IS NO PLACE FOR LOAFERS! JOIN ME OR DIE. CAN YOU DO ANY LESS? FOR LUCKY BEST NOT YELLED AT, USE ALICE!
Methinks you don’t understand the concept here.
It’s called a “Friday Rewind”. That means that it’s a replay of an older fail. My memory is fine. Your reasoning abilities, however, are seriously called into question.
Hahahaha…
(Sorry Avis, but that actually did make me laff.
As you were with the fish thing.)
It’s called a failing community.
Well At Least The Bike’s Are Ok..
I can’t beleive that no-one said:
“I saw this on You’ve Been Framed”
I saw it… years ago…
yes. during the break.
old
old
oooh oooh… Trailblog!
This one is old -_-
Video Description FAIL! (Every Friday we’ll be bringing you back a classic FAIL Blog video from the past. Enjoy the epicness!)
Why would a puny car be trying to pull a big ass trailer up a steep road?
Why I ask, why?
Because it was staged for a TV advertisment.
Why would you be randomly videotaping someone fiddling with a mountain bike, back in the days when video cameras were bulky and heavy, and the tapes were expensive?
lmaoo hilarious!!
Not only is what he’s doing a FAIL, but he’s doing it with a Yugo GV (The Ultimate Automotive FAIL!; Originally brought to the US by the same guy who brought us Subaru) Double FAIL! Only a “Real Man of Genius” could FAIL that miserably with his dignity intact!
Well done on totally failing to ID the car in question even after loads of other people have already done it correctly (and corrected similar failers) further up the thread. It’s a Renault 5.
To make it worse, it’s one of the few euro compacts that actually WERE sold in the states, so there’s far less excuse.
And, actually, not a bad car – almost had one for my first (then veered off towards VW). Just not cut out for towing, and runs just as badly as any old car if you keep it for 10 years without maintaining it properly then drive everywhere with the choke out.
did he die?!
Is that a hill ? O s**t that’s a hill!
Failblog fail. This is actually from a TV advert for Auto Trader – some clever person has just cropped the end off where it says something like “get the right car” or whatever. As was probably pointed out first time around, too. The whole thing was staged.
…and I’ve seen this same mistake made on at least five websites now :-/
We had this video before…
Still my all time favorite.
that’s a win, then fail.
Rolling down backwards made me laugh.
Ronaldo! Brilha muitu no Corinthians!!!