Pregnancy Fail
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» 185 Failures in Communication
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seahorse amusement park
Seahorses have pacemakers? Wow!
No, they have constant head on collisions. It’s fascinating!
makes it hard for them to make it through the gait
Especially when they’re >ZAPPED!< Dot Org.
Yay!
*dances head on*
By the way, I first readed it was ” no peacemakers”
Seahorses are rebels! Down with the aquatic regime!
No hitting from behind?!? Now, where is that innuendo machine…
*spank*
Uh oh. Now I’ve done it.
Hey! Only 1 (one) rider per cart.
*pinches brewski*
.
Jules, is that the same as eleventy-one?
No idea, I thought they were just clarifing that 1 = one.
*jumps and Jules cat*
*Spank*
We’re not doing well with following the rules, huh?
I hope you are not setting the pace.
*head-butts BG*
.
What?
You are doing that on your own risk, pal…
Wait, Velvet! Are you pregnant?
Yeah, they didn’t let me in when I was pregnant.
It was for your safety, dear.
My safety you mean.
*dances*
I don’t dance, does that mean I’m no friend of yours?
Err… Dunno?
you can do what you want to
sounds like whirlyball
Yep, it is a Whirlyball facility. I used to play that. It’s a lot of fun. Kinda like basketball in go-karts. Well, more like a mix of basketball, lacrosse, and go-karts.
So no back hitting, but I can have balls flying at my face in go-karts. Nice!
clickie for whirlyball video.
Hey that looks like fun! I want to play…I want to play…I WANT TO PLAY!!!!!!
*tosses ball to JG*
*puts pedal to metal to clear path to goal*
Wasn’t there a gay porn about that once?
No head-on collisions?!
*removes head*
Head-On
Apply directly to the forehead.
How exactly would you apply your head to your forehead??
By being very flexible….
And very *ahem* … male.
See previous fail.
My cousin Walter kept trying to do that… well, until his premature demise.
Did he go towards the white?
All pipes lead to the ocean, Fluffy.
All pipes lead away from the ocean actually. It’s just that sometimes people with no heads go the wrong way and cause collisions.
…Right…
No! Left!
See how easy it is?
You’d need a prosthetic forehead on your real head.
It’s not rock science.
That’s quite the string theory.
It’s a very dark matter.
Burn the foreheads down!
Nearly Headless Nick can’t collide at all.
Especially not if he’s
pregnantwith ghost.He’s looking to join the hunt.
No head on collisions? Well, there goes my fun
No headless horseplay in this sleepy hollow.
I like my cart to have group action, thank you very much!
Blimey!
Does it look something like this:
ht tp://thatwillbuffout.com/2009/09/21/funny-car-photos-false-danger/
Perhaps the sign was altered for Thomas Beatie.
Or maybe Thomas Beatie was altered for the sign.
NEARLY FIRST
So close it was scary.
yea they never let us pregnant men have any fun
No hitting from behind?? But I dont’ wanna know what she looks like, I just wanna see the back/top of her head.
Or you could just drink responsibly.
Yes. Because drinking causes pregnancy. And pregnancy causes you to be kicked out of Whirlyball.
Brewski — I thought that in your case basters (applied by LCB) cause pregnancy…?
Beer -> turkey basters -> pregnancy
Q.E.D.
*squeeze!!*
Donkey punch win?
Oh you are so getting a slap for that!
Come here you!
I giggled cos that reminded me of your donkey punch definition.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/05/19/stop-sign-fail/#comment-427354
Ah, good times. I hope that powers a fail one day.
Is anyone else thinking Arnold Schwarzenegger?
I wasn’t…
Me either.
Well, there is this “guy” (clicky). Also, every so often, the National Enquirer will run a story with the same theme. But we might also point out that the origin of the word “man” is non-gender-specific. It’s still commonly applied that way in the word “mankind”.
It also begins to help explain the Geordie phrase, “How man, woman man!” But you’ll probably need Jam to translate it correctly.
Nope.
Oh wait, that one movie he was in…
Terminator right?
yes, where he plays a kindergarten cop who comes back from the future for a head on collision with himself as a foetus
or a head on collison with some Twins on a Junior
So not from the front, or the back….seems a little wonky to me.
Doesn’t say anything about being on top, or on the bottom.
Hit ‘em from the side!
I could have sworn it was only water weight. Are you sure I’m pregnant? I’ll just find a different ride to go on then.
It’s only water weight from the cuddle puddles.
*squeezes dry*
Dragon was disappointed that she missed Cuddle squeezes yet again yesterday.
*runs in*
*squeezes Admiral & CC*
*runs off again*
♪♪Hey Hey Hee Hee Get outta my cart..♪
(yo, zooomz, props …
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/07/parachute-fail/#comment-631933 )
Go ahead fuzz, make my day!! thx
*squeezes AA and K@* Thanks for drying me out guys!
Let Dragon know I’ll make it up to her with the best squeeze ever!
*fly-by squeezes to cuddles, AA, k@*
*hits mr cuddles from behind*
*squeeze*
You better be careful before I ram you from the front.
Wow Brewski, I didn’t know you swung that way
Hey, I’m already one pregnancy up on ya! And I’m still upset that junior got battered and eaten.
Sorry, no deductions when receiving squid pro quo.
And…*return squeezes to all*
I know guys can give birth to *cough* certain things… but… it got battered and eaten? (O_o)
*feels kinda sick*
*hey!! how did mr cuddles get in my cart?..
*kicks mr cuddles in the pacemaker…..*
Am I going to have to kick some ass or was this a simple misunderstanding?
Zooomz is new but I think he/she is mostly harmless. Probably a misunderstanding.
But I want to hear zooomz story.
*waits patiently for explanation*
So far I’m ignoring the mosquito.
*cuddles up next to AA and gives him a big squeeze* Here, I’ll share my mosquito repellent while we wait to squeeze Dragon
*sneaks a squeezes in while everyone is distracted with waiting*
How can you do something like that?
*dances*
*starts to feel being ignored*
*stops dancing*
zoomz is she and she has no idea what troll like behaviour she needs to explain!!
Frettest thou not, O zoomz – it will all work out in due time
thanks wn *sets fret aside*
*applies fret to fingerboard, turns on amp, begins to play*
*flicks lighter*
Freeeeeeebiiiiirrrdd!!!
*turns amp up to 11*
*plays opening to Iron Man*
Oh oh oh! I know how to play “Smoke on the Water”! Let me teach you!!
Pfffffft – if I had a quarter for every time I’ve played SotW in a club in my youth I could retire
Can I request Kashmir? Please?
Oh I see, so sorry mr cuddles, just being silly
I kinda figured as much, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. People have sometimes targeted Mr cuddles. Which is really maddening since he’s one of the most charming guys you’ll ever meet.
‘Specially when he’s kicking ass
I’d prefer he didn’t have to.
He does have plenty of backup in case he needs it!
*grimaces menacingly at camera*
and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a pacemaker!
*carefully rolls Mr Cuddles in a towel to remove excess moisture*
*squeezes the rolled-up Mr Cuddles*
*carefully unrolls the now mostly-dry Mr Cuddles*
*squeezes Mr Cuddles again to make sure everything is in order*
Thomas Beatie is a man and gave birth to two babies.
No, “he’s” not — he’s a transman who just didn’t go all the way with the transformation. The fact that he’s legally recognized as a man means that the sign above is not fail, but in fact, win! At least, it’s win if Thomas Beatie ever brought his freakshow to the amusement park.
Oh for god’s sake. Transphobic asses al around.
all*
I kinda liked you assing Al around
We’re using Al today? Alright!
You’re an idiot.
He’s also not the first (f to m) man to do so
Um…yes, HE is. Transman=man, bits or no bits. Sex and gender are two wildly different things. Pay attention, or the 21st century will start without you.
I’m trying to read the top part of the sign but I don’t think I can make out the words ack
“Whirlyball Rules (something)”
And how would the man get pregnant if there is no hitting from behind?
Turkey baster and too may people in his cart.
Im glad they spelled the word “one” for me because I was really confused.
im2
ur2what?
Hes 2 (two)
Slips an ‘ betveen He and s
spellbound
wordhound
Maybe they meant no men on their carts, period. How sexist. We deserve to cause go-kart mayhem too (If that’s what the activity is).
Looks like they meant no no period men on their carts.
Does that mean they have to get on a cycle instead?
yep — a not-a-pop cycle
Better stamp-on these sexist comments.
*pad-pad-pad-pad*
Hi, everyone! What are we discussing?
About poiceman on wheelciair chasing after some pickpockets, and when another poice pushes him some speed, the wheelchiair falls over.
funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9funi9
Stop it. Just … stop it.
Whirlyball does this as a joke.
*sigh*
We know.
we dont
you won’t?
I can’t
It’s a joke, you say? A joke? Tell that to my father! Why, if it weren’t for him carrying me to full-term, I would have been a preemie! And you know what kind of problems preemies have, don’t you? I owe my life to that man! A joke?
*wanders off muttering*
Some people so so insensitive. *goes and pats LGB on the shoulder* It’s ok. You’re father was great…
I agree. You are father WAS great. Sheesh.
The people who say “it’s not a fail, because it’s intended as a joke” or “it’s not a fail because it’s a correct statement even if a pregnant man is unlikely to show up, because they wouldn’t want a pregnant man on the ride if there happened to be one, so it’s merely redundant rather than wrong” fail, because in fact, if a pregnant man did happen to show up, they’d be all “holy crap! a pregnant man! get him to go on the ride!”, and then they’d be shot in the foot by their own rule!
That’s why it’s a fail, despite all appearances to the contrary.
Thank you, Dr. Wounduplikeaneelpursestring.
trans men can get pregnant.
*blink*blink* “or men”???!? *blink*blink*
Head on: Do not apply directly to Head on. Head on: Do not apply directly to Head on.
It is scientifically possible for a man to have a baby.
Yes but it would be extremely painful
Gender equality WIN!
Haha exactly!
thomas beatie will be so disappointed.
This acatually happened once lol http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Story?id=4581943&page=2
Happened more often than once. Beattie is just one of the few men to really go public with it.
pregnant men = fatties! get it?
fail fail!
no head on collisions allowed? cos that game is popular
Beer belly joke?
Congratulations, you’ve just given birth to a healthy lager.
THey have to say that now a days, don’t you watch oprah?
no, of course not…
This sounds like the owner of the sign is trying to steer clear from any type of discrimination case.
maybe there was a pregnant dude that tried to get on the ride and made a scene because it only said pregnant women cant get on.
It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them!
how the heck does man could get pregnant???
Oh noes! Who will stand up for all the discriminated pregnant men of America? Where’s the justice?
Hey, tell Thomas Beatie that he can’t possibly be preggers.
LOL! Pregnant men?
some people who were born female identify as male, they could still be pregnant, whats fail about being sensitive to the LGBTQ community?
A baby flying out of my wang? Could happen it would hurt like a…a…slap in the nads…Double kill!
DOUBLE FAIL- No Hitting From Behind
no hitting on them from behind, no hitting on them from the front. i guess im gona have to do it side-ways,
If they were hitting from behind, no one would be pregnant…..
The ad next to this was for pregnancystore.com, but it was a WOMAN that was pregnant. I mean, that’s so sexist, or at least according to that picture…
Definitely a fail. Should have been “no pregnant PERSONS”
Great fail!