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Cheezburger Network Blog
He meant well (at least I hope he did).
And if not, we can always pretend!
Or not vote
I have to pretend since I can’t see video fails at work. *sigh*
Its a video of a policeman on wheelchair chasing afterpickpockets.
And another policeman pushes the wheelchair, and it falls over.
Thank you!
Well, cause im honest person, ill tell you i was lying (paradox?).
In reality it is much less funny.
>.>
In that case, thank you for your eventual honesty.
I can’t even look up “gullible” in the dictionary. My dictionary is in a box somewhere & I don’t know which box.
I really hate moving desks at work.
Dont think too badly about me. It was just pretending.
Well really i never lie for over half an hour.
Always get your information from a trusted source NS.
Ooof.
Did he disable?
oh you are so bad lol
He was just trying to give him a push across the street.
Hi fuzz. This fail sure is…
Why do you look like Nightshayde??
And why do I look like Mawcrow?
Hee!
*snork*
There’s my DW!!!
*SQUEEZE*
I squeeze you all! Like it or not!
.
*SQUEEEEEEZE*
*SQUEEZE* How ya doing Velvet?
Up to my eyeballs in work, but I realized I’m much more sane when I spend a little time in here each day.
.
I thought FB had been blocked at your work?
They unblocked it!
Oh good! I was hoping that was the case. The only other options I could think of were either you losing your job or you changing jobs.
I LIKE!!
*squeeeeeeeeeeze*
Does this mean i was squeesed?
*dances*
No, you were squeezed. I’m in the US and I love the letter Z.
.
Hey, dw! I think I spotted your *snork* on brewski’s other website.
*squeezes despite state of confusion*
Join my mafia!
Ah ha! Send me a request, too, Velvet. You can get it from Dragon or Brewski.
I will if the farking website would stop crashing. Geez louise, they need to upgrade their servers (or add more of them).
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
Oh, YAY!!! I’ll go look for you!
No he didn’t lol, he aimed for that guy!!!
jenny/tiff/whatever… you need to get a new group of pix… get rid of the grey shirt, the yellow top… and what the heck is that critter crawling out of your arse?
*Dazed* how fast was I going officer? -_o
The cops in town do fail majorly. I live in the town that video was taken.
If you don’t like the way I drive, stay out of the crosswalk.
>poof!<
If you don’t like the way I walk, stay out of your car.
photoshopped
*puts tick in logbook*
*smashes it*
*offers few porcelain stauettes to smash*
Porcelain? P-p-p-porcelain?
Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
You say “stop”, but I say go, go go!
“They tried to make go to rehab, but i daid noo no no”
(how can you make those nice little music symbols?)
♪ – ALT + 13
♫ – ALT + 14
And to Continue this combo:
♪♫ never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you♪♫
Thats right. You’ve just been rickrolled by a comment.
I never quite understood rickrolls.
I love that song, so I have no problem with it suddenly playing. It makes about as much sense as the “Game” people talk about.
Oh yeah? Well I just WON the game! HAH! Didn’t expect that one, didja?!
It’s okay!
You’re free!
Uh… Whoops.
There was supposed to be a link to that, but I was too busy winning to put it in.
Here we are…
So, judging by my (somewhat delayed) reaction, yes I expected that.
(And before you scream and run out of the room, allow me to open the door. Safety third, you know.)
OK, I’m incredibly ignorant, I admit. But I’ve been wondering for some time now, this keeps showing up.
What the hell is “Rickrolls”, “Rick Rolled”, and stuff like that? What’s that mean? Is this a TV show or something?
Ah. Well, Brewski, a rickroll is when someone links you to a video, describing it so vividly you desperately want to see it, and when you do, you have been tricked and are shown a music video of Rick Astley’s “Never gonna give you up”, hence the name “Rickroll”.
I had the hardest time explaining rickroll to my hubby – he just kept saying “It’s stupid I don’t get it” and I would say “That’s the point honey. It’s just supposed to be annoying” and he would say “It’s stupid I don’t get it” and I would say “That’s the point honey. It’s just supposed to be annoying” and he would say “It’s stupid I don’t get it” and I would say “That’s the point honey. It’s just supposed to be annoying” and he would say…
I think he kinda rickrolled you…
Unfortunately no points are scored if the recipient actually loves Rick, which happens ALL the time. I asked my bartender yesterday why he doesn’t do a toe-touch after serving. I keep forgetting to ask where he gets his rad clothes…
It’s stupid I don’t get it.
My clicky will tell you all that you need to know
That’s the point, honey. It’s just supposed to be annoying.
*squeeze*
@ALLL: ROFL! That made me laugh out loud!
I aim to please.
Was it LAPD? Cause then it would have been on purpose.
damn
is he reaching for his gun?
Can’t be too careful?
No, he is keying his radio, probably to let dispatch know he had just drove through an occupied intersection.
Prepare for trouble…
Wow that was terrible. I’m tired of these videos that aren’t funny.
I saw this on the voting page, and had mixed feelings about it. Not quite sure it belongs here really, and also not quite sure whether I can post any puns/comments directly related to the fail without feeling guilty.
Perhaps you should stick with the roleplay hornychat for now.
Roleplay hornychat, check. Too much dissection, check.
*writes notes*
Did you dissect?
Technically.. Its a fail.. but its also pretty bad, there’s a line where people getting hurt (like those in the middle of a road getting hit by a speeding police cruiser while in their wheelchairs).
Sorry, But this being posted here on a humour site, is a fail.
Please see my comment to Maki Naki below, Mike. ↓
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/08/policeman-fail/#comment-633450
Speeding cruiser? It was going like 2 KPH since it had just turned left off of a red light. It also bumped the guy from behind which knocked him out of his chair, it isn’t like he was crushed or something.
D you work for fox news or something? Stop try to sensationalize things, stick to the facts, then you have my permission to whine.
Permissions? We don’t neeeed no steeenking permissions!!!
Well, YOU don’t. You have lightning and a guy on a bike and stuff. it makes me afeared.
Be at peace, Grasshopper.
Oh, and have some tequila
Theng kew veddy much.
*drinks tequila*
*runsawayfast*
I fail to see the humor in it as well. It’s a very unfortunate accident that resulted in a broken shoulder and hospital time for the victim. And a lawsuit. But I’m not here for the fail.
What do I know. I just answer the phones.
There is a fail?
The fail is a lie.
Brewski just reads the articles
*wink*wink*
WOAH! Check out the centerfold in this Fail!
Uh… I mean… the uh, binding. It folds together real nicely.
The articles are the best part! I don’t care for the stories they print between them.
Tonight at 6: The sloth of Doom in a town near you? Stay tuned to find out.
He could only feel it from the waist down.
“To Serve and To Protect”:
Well, at least the first part is evident in the video.
Revenge is a dish best served to a guy in a wheelchair. We don’t know what the guy did to the cop.
Did you say disservice and protest??
I could see the local police here managing to do such.
*drives by Joseph’s post*
*removes dash cam*
*rams ‘L’ out of ‘police’*
*laughs maniacally*
*drivesoffwithatiresquealness*
*marvels*
You like what’s under the hood?
Oh baby oh baby!!
*hands WN RayBans*
*lifts hood*
*squints*
*braided steel, chromed 427 glints in sun*
She’ll do zero to 60 in 2.3 seconds!
*attaches ACME rockets to both passenger and driver doors*
Did you say 1.3 seconds?
Let’s find out! Hop in!
*ignites ACME rockets*
*sets autopilot destination for moon*
*hops in*
Let ‘er rip, LGB!!!!!!!!
*straps WN and self in firmly*
Safety Third!
3…
2…
1…
BLAST-OFF!
*gets to moon in record time*
*sets up picnic, complete with wine and checked tablecloth*
*tosses case of Cabo Wabo over to picnic tablecloth*
Wow! Doesn’t weigh much up here!!
*juggles three (3) cases of Cabo*
*detective comics*
*goes MAD*
*thinks Czuhc is Crack(ed)ing up, is Time to search for a Private Eye*
*looks around for eye*
Did someone say “eye”? We are in Vogue at the moment, aren’t we?
Aye.
There goes AA, being nauti again.
I expect he has avast repertoire of such terms.
*waves*
*considers a bow, but thinks better of it*
*stern look*
Ok ok ok! I just can’t do it!
*giggles uncontrollably*
*almost keels over*
I hope that wasn’t a jibe at me, Ms B. Should be change tack now?
*swaps “b” for “w” in his previous post*
It’s not as if they’re even close to each other.
Yay!
*dances for no apparent reason*
It was the butler! Butler did it!
Please don’t barge in on pun runs like that. Ms B is very strict and you wouldn’t want to o’fender.
Oh, don’t worry. It’s not like I’m going to flog him oar something.
Not even a lick of the cat? Not even if he’s very, very deserving?
I admit! I did it! I killed this punrun!
*sob*
*runs away*
[yells] It was an accident![/yells]
Don’t be pooped.
You are forgiven, I think. But we might have to rename you “A Tiller The Pun”.
Yawl forgive me if I don’t join in.
Not now, not eaver!
You’re knot obliged to participate. I wouldn’t want to press you.
I’m sure that I’ll think of a pun schooner or later.
It might be time to beach this run, even if I am anchoring for a few more. If we don’t, fo’c’sle think us strange.
You accidenty the hull set of puns!
If it is stopped now just think of all of the fun we’ll be mizzen.
We certainly have amast a lot of puns.
*nods*
This page can hardly hold them. We may have to start a new sheet.
We’re coming up with them so fast, we’re just sailing through them!
We’ll have to use our head to think up more.
It’s always nice to spar with the failpeeps, but I’d better not overdo it. Sooner or later, I’m sure to make a terrible gaff.
Wow, this pun-run is going at a fair clip(per).
I can’t think of any more. *scuttles away*
Thanks to the fo’c’s’le contributing!
We’ve been using our sculls and having a whaler of a time.
Failpeeps and coble’nd the best puns together.
’snow bother coming up with more.
It looks like the whole crew has been contributing.
We’ve almost reef-ined it to an art form.
Poice and wheechiairs. Always a bad combo.
*puts gold star on Aja’s post*
You see, Joseph? This is how you spell it!
Police butt fail.
Not only does he hit the guy in the wheelchair, but he didn’t bother to call an ambulance. When someone is hurt, you shouldn’t move them. Wow, can you imagine the lawsuit. The victim should be living in a mansion by now. With his/her own chauffeur.
Did you watch the video? You can clearly see him keying his radio as he exits his cruiser, one can safely assume he wasn;t calling another cruiser to pick him up some donuts.
No, the other cruiser was supposed to run over the wheelchair guy to finish the job.
…and then get some donuts.
I sure hope he got some Boston creamed pie donuts.
The poice cited that guy–in his hospital room–for improperly crossing the street.
www2.dailyprogress.com/cdp/news/local/article/man_struck_by_police_car_sues_city/41658/
So it was Charlottesville, VA.
Doesn’t that police officer have enough drunk UVA students to mess with?
Would you call that J-Walking?
*headdesk*
*facepalm*
*looks up the phrase “adds insult to injury” and finds this story as the definition*
Funny thing: The cops face is also under “asshöle”.
*squeeze*
Yay! Nice letter, you were from germany, if I recall correctly?
You use those there too?
*proud of few phoneticks used in finland and few other languages*
ÄÖ!
Ummm…I’m pretty sure the umlaut’s roots are the Germanic language, but I may be wrong.
*shrugs*
The Turks have them, the…
Fins Finishpeople in Finnland too. Dunno.Hee!
*SQUEEZE!!!*
You need to ask fluffy if Finnish people use them.
Hiya!
*SKAA-WEEEEEEEZE!!!*
They do, all the time. They even have words with multiple “ä”s in a row!
I think Dragon caudal you off-guard.
*latenightforyousqueeze*
HAH! That so räärely ever hääppens!
Seen Mai neim? Ai hääve lost it somewhere.
I admit, I don’t get it. But hey – I’m a little drunk right now, so I guess I don’t have to be the usual smartass mofo. I’ll get me another beer, maybe that’ll help me to understand what’s going on (I doubt it, but I’ll try).
In the meantime: *squeezes* for the two of you!
Fishies have fins…fluffy is a fishie. She is, therefore, finnish!
And, could you bring me a beer, please, you smartass mofo?? :p
*passes Pilsner Urquell*
God, I’m slow! I’ll better go now. Bye all!
*takes beer*
Thanks, sweetie! Have a wonderful night.
*goodnightsqueezity*
*departing squeezes Arthur*
‘Night…we’ll leave your tab open.
*squeeze*
Night Arthur.
Guten nachen!(Did I write it correctly?)
Maybe i should also go sleeping, it’s almost 1 AM here…
Gute Nacht, Freunde
es wird zeit, für mich zo gehn.
Was ich nog zu sagen hätte
dauert eine Zigarette
und ein letztes Glas im Stehn.
Right, such as “sää” that means weather. Is Fluffy from Finland too?
*probeert of ‘e bi’j de thread an kan höäken*
(*switches ä and ö before anyone notices*)
In fact, I still am in Germany. Änd nö, we never üse thöse fünny letters here.
Ìn yóür néìghbôùrhóòd cõúñtry wê dó. Although not as often as I just did. Welcome to the world of wierd letters. It ain’t much if it ain’t Dutch.
Not heeding the pedestrian crossing signal, but also failing to yield to a pedestrian because his wheelchair is considered a vehicle…..
Cop was probably on his cell phone.
maybe he was popping wheelies?
Grrr… reading that made me angry.
Why in hell wasn’t the cop cited for failure to yield?! That’s a serious infraction! Talk about covering your ass. I wonder if this was ever resolved.
You beat me to it, Brewski. I thought they taught you in driver’s ed to LOOK before you turn…whatever! And yes, this is definitely a case of CYA!
I’ve known a few cops personally, and think they are good people. But man, there sure are some corrupt departments out there. Boston has been famous for it. They keep getting writeups in the Boston Globe, because they routinely park illegally (in fire zones, handicapped zones, etc), and of course never get ticketed once. They swore to fix it, but did nothing. So the globe did a second story, exposing the failure to correct it. Still they’ve done nothing.
Sure, there a good cops and bad cops (sometimes in the same room
) but here it seems it’s hard to find cops who take responsibility when they fail. When things go wrong they cover each other and the media doesn’t pay too much attention and the politicians always claim the cops did everything right. That is frustrating – and scary. I hope I’ll never be the victim of a police fail that is called a WIN!!!11!! afterwards…
It’s the same way in the US. If the cop did want to take responsibility the department would likely “advise” otherwise. The threat of a lawsuit will do that. Organizations don’t act like compassionate individuals and shouldn’t be granted the same rights.
That’s not just an organization like a bank or whatever. It’s the police, to serve and to protect and whatnot. They should have the highest standards of moral and they should punish bad behaviour of their officers more than those of other citizens. But the opposite is true.
Oh, I agree. As an agency that can forcibly take away the rights of the populace, they should act in a manner that is above reproach.
Unfortunately it’s rather: Give several thousand people that much power and you will see many abusing it. Just a couple of months ago a police squad stormed a bar here for no reason other than hostility to the leftist view of the folks who usually visit that bar. Loooots of teargas, one guy lost all of his upper front teeth – and nothing happend. Even though the no-teeth-guy was a journalist and there was a video which didn’t leave any questions. They simply declared that everything was done right – finished. Grrrr.
Is police chief an elected position in Germany? If appointed, who appoints the position?
It varies from Bundesland to Bundesland, but they’re never elected by the public.
Is that an oblique reference to a Supreme decision in the making? If corporations are allowed to donate unhindered to campaigns, then us Americans can kiss our voice in government goodbye. That one scares the hell out of me.
Yes, though I didn’t mean it to be oblique.
Nope. The police don’t always anything. They’re people.
In this case the car stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out and he was wearing a badge.
Good point!
Unfortunately I have yet to learn about a cop taking responsibility for misbehaviour. If you have heard about that: Good for you, good to build trust. My experiences with cops were ridiculously often bad.
Hmm. I’m a little surprised to hear that. My personal experiences with the police in the US have been mostly positive…mostly.
The only positive experiences I had were when I called them or helped them. Whenever they approach me they don’t treat me too well, even though I always stay polite. It’s like that since I’m 15 or so. You know, 20 years of that can be upsetting…
My sister just had a pretty rough experience that has turned her off of cops. She was at-fault in an auto accident recently, and was being treated as if she did it on purpose. There was some harassment, verified by observers, and she was quite traumatized. Her summation of the experience is that when we are children we are taught that the nice police officers are there to help us when we need it. But that doesn’t seem to be the case when you reach adult-hood. Fortunately I have not had a problem with any myself.
The things I heard from trustworthy sources are worse than everything I have ever experienced. It’s a shame – I want to trust cops!
I’ve never had a bad experience, thankfully. But I’m a white male, so that probably helps. The worst I’ve had is revenue-generating police departments that crank out tickets at light speed.
aaahhh… so you’ve parked in Cambridge, eh?
Most corrupt group of parking ticket writers on the blessed planet.
A villain is rarely villain in their own eyes.
You seem to know some things about me that I don’t know. Hmm.
Ignore that tiny hole in the wall! It is not a camera!!
I wonder what it’s (not!) filming? Me being law-obedient? Kinda boring…
Oops! I thought that was a glory hole.
You never know who might be watching you. (Scary clicky)
What?! They’ve been watching me all along?! THOUGHT POLICE!!! THOUGHT POLICE!!! THO-THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED BY THE MINISTRY OF INFORMATION. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.
somebody is watching you…
I was referring to the abusive cop. Not you. Now you’ve peaked my interest. Another hmm.
Oops. I misunderstood that, sorry.
CONFESS!! You’ve been having fun, haven’t you!
*panics*
Noo… I mean… YES! I had! It’s been a while, but I had fun back in the days. Ohmygawd, what will now happen to me? What will my mother say?
*sobs*
Oh, Arthur…
*cries*
I’m sorry mum… Wait, my mom has no tattoo! You almost got me again!
At least, none that you know of.
Damn! Foiled again!
*blinks*
Hammy?
I think he needs a poke, mon.
That’s my name, don’t wear it out – I just had it waxed.
2nd Fail: Picking up someone after hitting them with your car. They should have had him checked out by EMS first. And the way they hoisted him up… back down… back up… If he wasn’t injured, he should be by now!
When they teach you first aid, the first thing they teach you is to leave injured people where you find them. The only exception is when the victim is in immediate danger. In this case the victim was not in immediate danger as the parked police car would’ve been sufficient to prevent traffic flow.
First lesson of emergency medical care: When someone is hit by a car, you should, as quickly as possible, move his spine around a bunch.
Don’t do that, you could put the guy in a wheelchair! Wait a second…..
A whole second?
This cop has the wrong idea about his push bumper.
Right idea, he just used too much power.
Uh, Scotty? I think ya got a potential stalker down there. VVV
maybe the cop is a clown who thought he was driving a bumper car?
That f*cker came out of nowhere!
*SKA-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!*
*SQUEEZESQUEEZYSQUEEZE*
YAY!!!!!
I’ve MISSED you, mr. cuddles!!!
Aww, I missed you to gorgeous! Work has been busy. I only get a chance to come comment every once in a while. Luckily today
I’m procrastingis a little slower.*re-squeezes Mr Cuddles*
I squoze you (partially to remove excess moisture) during the last fail, but then this one started up.
I know you barely know me — but it’s very nice to see you back here!
I could never forget you nightshayde! *big squeeze* Thanks for helping me dry off in the last fail!
How’s everything over a ICHC?
Rather boring at the moment, I’m afraid.
I’m sure it will pick up with the next lol.
*SUPERSQUEEZE*
Hey, Cuddles! (Assuming that IS your real name.) I guess your a regular then? Well, you don’t really know me, because I just hopped on about a month ago, but I’ll welcome you back anyway.
*squeezeforthehellofit squeeze*
I was quite the regular until my company blocked the site for a couple months. Luckily everything is back to normal.
*squeeze*
Yeah, i remember reading your posts long time ago, before i started writing as Mawcrow. Before, i wrote as digby.
<>
That didn’t go over so well. I was trying to do the ICHC hug, but I don’t think I did it right.
*demonstrates*
{{{{{Mr Cuddles}}}}}
There we go. I had a feeling I was using the wrong brackets.
{{{{{{nightshayde}}}}}}
You don’t know me either, Corporal Cuddles, but I like you just cuz of yer name!
*sends order to signage company*
*waits two weeks*
*receives sign*
*plugs in*
*sparkle*WELCOME BACK!*sparkle*
Aww, thank you for the wonderful welcome back Little Girl Blue! *squeeze*
There’s a lot to be said for good signage in life.
ohmigosh! igreatscott has scottis as his/her avatar! that is sooo cool 8.] i miss star trek 8-(
Yes, we all feel that way about him.
*specialsqueezysqueezesGS*
Awww, thanks Little Girl Blue.
*bigLGBsqueezes*
@bmaya – Glad you like it.
Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here.
no intelligent life on uranus?
haha! i just drove through that intersection on the way back from lunch! charlottesville on failblog. i love it!!!
I bet from now on, you’ll be more careful going through that intersection!
Yeah, those cops are sneaky like that…
i bet that wheel chair saved that dudes life! yikes!
D-yikes!
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
You’ll find the ‘ key to the right of the ; key and to the left of the ENTER← key.
it was like if the chair had a nitro boost of some sort. Did the car actually touched it?
No. It touch it.
Try to touch it without touching it.
There is no wheelchair?
There’s a glitch in the wheelchair.
It’s not a wheelchair, it’s a vehicle, got it??
Okay. I got it. Touch the wheelchair glitch?
Touch the wheelchair vehicle glitch.Touch the glitch wheelchair vehicle.Touch the vehicle glitch wheelchair.*head asplodes*
NO HEAD ON COLLISIONS!
*gets the ShamWow™*
*cleans up LGB before ZA comes out*
*pops head from the grave*
*looks around, certain he heard another head pop*
*can’t see any signs of carnage*
Stupid pigs man. Aye where mah food stamps at dawg?
Do you have your mallet handy, BFF? One good whack otta do it.
One? Too soft!
*whacks Ol’ Dirty B@stard until he is firmly in the ground*
Now you try!
*takes mallet in hands*
*mallet drops to ground*
This thing is heavy!
*pulls with all her might*
*swings mallet overhead*
*whacks ODB upside the head*
*surveys damage*
*saves brains for ZA*
*wipes bits of flesh off self with hanky*
Very good. Now, we mop up the troll sludge, store in a jar, and save it along with the brains as ZA’s midnight snack.
*shows up well before midnight*
*makes a spectacle of eating the troll
excrementbrains*There. Should it come back, we all know it’s really just another zombie. Maybe it will be smarter now too.
Oooh! I love “Whack-a-Troll!”
best played whilst using a 16-lb sledge.
*sigh*
I wish BFF were here…
*sneaks up behind LGB*
*tickles her*
*runsawayandhidesbehindbush*
*jumps*
*giggles*
*looks around*
I see you back there! Come out with your hands up!
*rises from behind bush*
*puts hands up*
*and another*
*and another*
*and another*
You got me!
*tickles BFF’s many ticklish … erm … parts*
Wow! That’s a good trick. Let me try!
*sigh*
I wish Albert Einstein was here…
*sticks out tongue*
*disappears*
1magine the possibilities!!
*sigh*
I wish Jesus was here. And Mohammed.
Sorry, they’re on their lunch break. Can I help?
*assumes lotus position*
We’re sorry, but the deity you have reached is not in service at this time.
Dammit! I was hoping they could’ve explained the stuff about “love” and “tolerance” just one more time…
I’d like somebody to point out the part of the Bible and Koran that says “Kill those who disagree with you”.
Hey, I found it! I fou- Oh, wait, sorry. This is Stalin’s autobiography. My bad.
Osama scribbled it on the back of a Koran. Does that count?
And Bush. Never forget Bush.
I wish I could…
We all do, Pikachu, we all do.
Leviticus, Brewskie. He ever encourages husbands to stone their wives… now, if he’d only encouraged husbands to get stoned with their wives. …
Why the old-time hebrews had multiple wives I’ll never understand… on some days, 1 seems like 4 too many.
You’d rather have, what, -3 wives?
Wouldn’t that be great? (↑)
Oops.
*cross time zone afternoon/evening squeeze*
Just when I was wondering where everybody was!
*ocean-crossing massive squeeze*
Well, I’m still at work, for which I’m thankful, but some people have nerve giving me things to do!
Such as squeezing things? Is that your job?
*amateur squeeze*
Haha! *salty sailor squeeze*
Don’t think so, I think squeezing is more of a hobby. And Admiral – say hi to Barack, will you? I mean, it must be him who gives you things to do, considdering you’re an Admiral…
He’s an admirable admiral, that’s readily apparent!
Ultimately, yes, but the chain of command is a little longer than that. Now where did I leave that…
The cain? Errm, well, … if that’s not a kids bracelet…
cHain!H! HHHHH! Goddammit!
I didn’t know one was Abel to pronounce that many ‘H’s.
Apparently. He seth it.
*Nod-s*
I did, but I should have Noah better.
I beli-Eve we can forgive you this time. Please try and do a better Job in future.
I will Adam-antly keep trying.
I’ll butt-in here, can you peeps handle it?
*slaps the beJesus out of crow*
Don’t be crossin AE
Just don’t squeeze the Charmin…
*squeezes the Charmin*
*squeezes SuzieQ and Brewski*
Gracie!!!!
*megasqueezies!*
Well, I’ll squeeze you…
Just be sure Mr. Whipple isn’t around…
My girlfriend’s dad used to work at the Charmin factory many a year ago. I believe it was in Pennsylvania. He says he got to meet Mr. Whipple one day, when he visited the plant. I have no idea if Mr. Whipple squeezed the Charmin that day or not.
*squeeze!*
Ahem!
*gives SuzieQ a stern look and taps foot*
*squeezes Mr. Whipple*
*rips off his pants in one quick motion*
Hey! You aren’t a mister, Mister!
*steals Brewski’s pants*
Mwahahahaha!
*click*
*runs away*
Hi all! (shocked) This is getting really weird…
*turns away*
*hands Mr. Whipple subject of previous Fashion Fail*
No-one will ever know
… that she is NOT a stallion?
Wait. What’s today?
Well, Mr. Whipple stole my pants. That’s a first.
*hops commuter rail train to Pants R Us outlet*
*eyes Brewski’s pantsless state*
*notes that today is (drumroll) COMMANDO Thursday*
*click!*
It’s about time somebody helped me -Imean- you stole his first!
mr whipple currently spends his time squeezing the big roll up in the sky.
Tasteless. That’s not funny at all. Definitely a fail, but not a funny fail.
Well, you see, Maki Naki, it’s not funny, but it is a fail. I was rather torn, too, but my Fail Peeps let me see that I was being … well … rather too serious. Loosen up a little. Read the rest of the blog. Heck — you might even become a regular. Stranger things have happened.
Fails my mind.
There’s my little sweetykins!
*pinches cheeks*
Now, you must tell me: Were you aware that I hijacked your >ZAP!< Dot Org the other day, or were you just toying with me?
Of COURSE I was aware – I thought it looked good on you!
*pinches cheeks back*
Ahhhh. Okay.
*goes to Kinkos*
*copies WN’s >ZAP!ZAP!< Dot Org to name*
*frames with thumb and forefinger*
Nice!
*eyes LGB from a distance*
*tilts head to left*
*tilts head to right*
*does a strange little arcane dance*
Yep! Lookin’ good!
*Yoink!*
*notes Mawcrow’s seeming lack of enthusiasm on the lightning bolt*
Whops! I could’t take all at one time. Too much to handle!
I know whatcha mean – it is a little much early on, but once you get the bicycle/lightning/fall thing down, it just feels natural.
*notes that WN still has the lightning bolt that Mawcrow tried to swipe*
GRACIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
*squeeeeeeeeeze*
*SKA-WEEZE!*
Do we need to get out the logbook, Gracie?
Have I become Duroc?
And I still can’t find that “Blue” that I …erm… borrowed from LGB.
*continues searching*
I’ll help you look for it.
*pats Brewski down*
*pays special attention to -er- certain areas*
Nope. I can’t find it, either. Maybe if you take off your pants.
Shocking. Just shocking.
(sounds like fun tho)
*adds belt AND suspenders to shopping list*
*gives gracie extra-special SQUEEEZE*
*snork*
When have belts and suspenders ever worked?
I’m trying everything I can think of. I’m currently also designing an alarm system.
*squeeze-in-case-I-haven’t-squeezed-ms-b-yet*
*squeezes Ms B*
*doesn’t tell Brewski she sabotaged his design for the alarm system*
*wanders into thread*
Whaddafu? BREWSKI!?
…like I need another reason to hate cops.
My God, this FailBlog evening is slooooow. Where is everybody? It’s like a weekend without trolls.
*sneaks up behing Arthur Eld*
*gives Arthur a big squeeze*
*tickles him causing him to go into an uncontrollable fit of laughter*
*hurries away on his scooter*
*HONK HONK!!
*throws up an extra **
*catches extra **
*throws it at Cuddles*
*misses due to continued giggling*
*squeezes*
Did somebody put some syrup of ipecac in your *?
He better had some wine then.
*pours Cuddles a glass of Dom Péridon*
DON’T DO IT MR CUDDLES!!!!!!!!!!!!
*wonders if there is something wrong with his reputation*
A sailor not>/i> drinking rum? You’re fake! Imposter!
*tags Arthur*
Tag WhoaNellie!
Ha ha!
*joins in playing tag*
Tag Arthur!
Guten Tag! How do?
*looks at Tag Heuer watch*
It IS guten!
*sigh*
I hope he’s not a drama mean drunk.
THAT is what i call brutal. Drive-by ticles.
What’s a drivebyticle? Was that a test?
The answer is likely hanging in the balance.
More like a tsetse.
This has been a moment of FAIL.
Yes, but are you ten feet tall or just small?
I didn’t take the pi lls.
Modded all over today…
respect the authoritah
GO, PIKACHU! USE YOUR THUNDERBOLT!
Pikaaa – CHUUUUUUUU!
Gesundheit.
I thought we took care of the dust problem yesterday!
Arthur must be allergic to chicken feathers.
Hmm, how many ShamWow’s do we have anyway?
factories
Unfortunately Judy’s comment doesn’t fit here…
Ouch… Im bad in puns…
*quickly draws coat shut around crow’s maw….*
I’m really getting confused.
˙ǝɯ oʇ ǝsuǝs sǝʞɐɯ ןןɐ ʇı
*squeeze*
I don’t know if we’ve ever officially met? How are you doing? Still undergoing treatments?
Had the transplant the end of May. Now it’s all recovery and trying to stay alive.
As for officially meeting, I haven’t a clue. We’ve met now, so it’s a done thing.
Yes, please do work at that.
*squeeeeeeeeze*
Hello there!
I had an experience the other day that shows that I need to work on the appearance of health.
I was on my walk (Up to two miles. Woowhatyoucallyourhoo!) and needed to rest. I leaned against a power pole. A lady comes charging up to me to see if I was in need. With the cane, arm in a sling, band aids on the finger tips and less than sprightly pace I must have looked like the sole survivor of a train wreck to her.
Why don’t we work on the ACTUAL health first? Then we can work on the appearance of it.
*gentle squeezes*
I’m so glad you’re doing okay.
I thought this story was going in a different direction when a lady came charging up to your power pole.
I’m glad you’re up and around, coyote.
That one had me holding my sides. Thanks.
I tried to wish you speedy recovery, but the blogmonster ate my post!
Bad blogmonster! BAD!
*smacks blogmonster*
*also wishes Coyote a speedy recovery*
I just posted “Thank-you.” to you and it got ate.
The blogmonster has a weird appetite. I tried to post “Thank-you.” a couple of days ago. No way.
You’re a dancin’ man and you just can’t lose.
*squeeze*
You’ve never seen me try to dance.
Actually, due to stealing WN:s >ZAP!< Dot Org, and Ms B renaming me due to killing an punrun, i've lost my name!
Sorry, no, but I’ll keep an eye out for crows!
Any distinguishing features?
You should try to keep a handle on your handle.
And a grip on your grip.
Speaking of which…
…want a sandwich?
Always.
Ooh. Make me one, too?
Not to sound hateful; but STS, I’ve been lurking on this blog for a GOOD while, long enough to see your arrival and posting up to this point.
I will take this time to come out of the wood work and say “What the HELL are you EVER talking about?”
Sir, You have a valid opinion. However, it does seem hateful and we don’t take kindly to that around here.
Also, whenever I just look at your name I
Really? I sort of
like that. I stick my tongue out whenever I laugh. Yeah. Trust me, it’s not as weird as you think. Right? 
Whoopsie daisy. That Texas Ranger bit must have carried over from yesterday.
Pit Maneuver: You’re doing it wrong!
That guy was kersed.
Was this rehearsed?
For knowledge he did thirst.
That was the worst.
No, “FIRST” is the worst
For dinner I’ll make bratwurst.
Careful, throwing that word around may get you hearsed.
That’s not a condition easily reversed.
Not reversed, but widely dispersed.
What about to the point that it will burst?
You shouldn’t need the pit maneuver to pass somebody in a wheelchair.
Stop doing that while I’m driving n…*crashs*
Now you did it!
*strangles passenger*
OT-
On Question Time today, the Treasury Secretary Yvette Cooper accused the Conservative leader David Cameron of nepotism. Mrs. Cooper’s husband is Education Secretary Ed Balls. Hypocrite much?
Sounds like Mrs. Cooper has a lot of balls.
hey all whats coming down besides the person in the wheelchair?
…
This:
What are they doing hoisting that poor person up without giving them a careful lookover in case there was some serious injury (broken bones, etc.). Particularly since, depending on the person’s reason for being in a wheelchair, they might not be able to feel anything.
DOUBLE FAIL!
And he just stops in the intersection……….FAIL
Warning this cop makes blind left turns.
What about right?
For right turns, he analyzes the situation thoroughly by measuring the exact angle and momentum required to get him through, licks his thumb and sticks it out the window to be sure the wind won’t throw him off course, and rewires the traffic light system so that absolutely NO cars/pedestrians will we thereto run in to.
After doing all that for the right turns, he just said “screw it” and flies through left ones.
*sigh* Isn’t it a terrible feeling to see a mistake in a post JUST after you hit “Add Comment”?
*Wedges there and to apart*
WTF!!!!
OMG!!!!
BBQ????
FTW!?!?
AFK!
That’s one way to reduce the homeless population
And they say that Women can’t drive. Dumbass Policeman.
um… does he get a ticket? O_O
Yes, the cop gave him a ticket in the hospital.
Lol, this is sad, they even uploaded to internet,… lol that weelchair dude got owned
And that cop made my dream come true.. hit a weelchair guy ;D
i think this video are not good to play here, this site for just fun. because this video are accidentally hurt the handicap man.
That should give him a 1000 points.
cops sucks……idiots……
It’s America, nufsaid
I can just imagine the wheel-chaired person yelling “I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel my legs!”
IM AMAZED THAT POLICE DIDN’T TAZE THAT GUY!
protected and SERVED, son. BOOM!
The sad thing is, the guy that got hit got a ticket while recovering in the hospital(for being in the crosswalk). Not to mention, nothing was done as far as the officer in question.
While I don’t think the vid is funny, it is most definitely a police fail of enormous magnitude.
Cops are so stupid, 50% of the time they take your money for driving too fast, 40% of the time they are stuffing their fat retarded faces, 9% they are beating up their wives, 1% they are catching bad guys. if a cop reads this, good. go f*ck yourself
it’s alright, the guy was a terrorist!
Considering it was the USA, the cripple is lucky the cop didn’t tazer him for scratching the car.
Wheelchairs count as vehicles…the policeman had the right away
Hmmm…I think you mean the “right of way”. “right away” = “now”
YOU THINK THATS BAD? WELL HERE IN HONOLULU THIS AHOLE COP TURNS THE CORNER AND RUNS INTO A CUTE ASIAN COLLEGE GIRL ON HER $20 CRAPPY BIKE (SHE WAS IN THE CROSSWALK ON A GREEN LIGHT) SO HE GETS OUT OF HIS PIG CAR AND GIVES HER A TICKET FOR NOT HAVING THE BIKE REGISTERD AND ALITTLE STICKER IT WOULD HAVE COST MORE FOR THE STICKER THAN THE BIKE WAS WORTH also check out the internet to find out about the dumb honolulu cops who where in las vegas for a soft ball tourement caught in a parking lot a a park parked over 2 spaces in a rental van smoking weed and when the vegas cops came they tried to drive and then run away. the cops in florida are punks and inbreed but the hawaii cops are just stupid ALOHA
Thank you very nice sharing
A real Jim Lahey isn’t he