Statistical Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Everyone say it with me:
“That’s more than half!”
Thats half than more…..crap
Roll the dice and try again.
*rolls dice*
*reads result*
You are trapped in an alternate dimension with a horde of Orcs.
Can someone explain please?
I don’t want to rune it for you.
You aren’t Elfin!
*uses +2 sword of Booping*
People can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
H.J.S
but 97.3465% of those people are wrong more than 8.6% of the time.
but 10 out of 0.5 people think they do know, but they’re wrong
2000%… that’s impossible….not in this dimension at least.
You people confuse me…
*handface*
What do you mean ‘you people’?
i appear from nowhere. and aid you in the slaying of orcs.. with my.. +4 greatsword of sexuality change.. (good thing orcs only like orcs) GAY ORC ORGIE.. as i run away in fright..
If you play Dungeons and Dragons, the chances of you getting laid are (insert appropriate ratio/probablity here).
I know! Please inform my Husband!
You feel a headache coming up?
Nah- I was the gamer- you would have thought that would have reduced the probability of being desirable to the opposite s3x, hmmm, nope, when hanging around in a predominantly male environment and being able to understand what they are talking about, makes one a highly desirable commodity for the geek class!
I had a great time when I was younger!
The only way a chick can became less attractive in my eyes is if she farts or I see her true form without makeup and I barf.
And I think I speak for the Geek class when I say we need more nrrrd grrrls.
I’m not sure you should be speaking for anyone but yourself.
I think I speak for Indonesia and parts of Russia when I say “Ya Huh!”.
I think we should start a collection to bring all your bespectacled beauties over to the USA and EU, where they can be better appreciated.
I was going to use the term “whip-round”, but I thought it best to leave that until later.
so, in other words, unless the chic is britney spears or lindsay lohan, then the only girl for you is rosie palmer?
pthhhhhhpt. There. I poofed. And I’m not wearing any make-up. Is he gone? have I cleared him from the room? ahhhh. My work here is done. ptttthhhhhhhtp (one more for good measure.
*Feels unwanted*
*Cries a bit*
What’s that smell?
Dude everyone knows chicks don’t fart, poop, or burp.
Whatt? Hahaha, how did people start talkin about poop & stuff?
Haha.
I found exactly the same thing. I was queen nerd and just about had to fight the men off with sticks!
thats sad on the guys side
I wouldn’t call it sad per se. It’s just the nature of the Geek. Standard geek boys –> attracted to any estrogen-based humanoid. This differs from non-geek boys only in that geek boys are faced with a higher likelihood that the target of their affections will be unattainable. Geek grrls, by virtue of being estrogen-based humanoids, fall within the class that geek boys find attractive. However, unlike non-geek estrogen-based humanoids, they tend to prefer mates who are cerebrally-oriented fellow geeks. Any given female who is semi-attractive and statistically likely to be ATTRACTED TO geek boys will be found much more ATTRACTIVE BY geek boys and will be desired and pursued much more actively.
Of course, the fact that Geek Grrls are in short supply does complicate matters a bit. But overall, I figure everyone ends up with someone at some point.
I just married a LARPer, Dungeon Master, computer nerd and fellow Otaku. His Groom’s Cake at the wedding was Tux the Linux penguin.
LOL!! im glad imma guy.. id kill somone.. if i was a female gamer.. ps. DND 4th.. = fail..
I put on my robe and wizard hat….
in soviet russia…..
… no one cares if you play with yourself in public?
in soviet russia.. you dont play with yourself in public.. public plays with themselves inside you.. LOL!!
Is that your 0.02 cents?
*Yoinks*
Mine now!
Im pretty sure its .02 dollars.
Dont you love when people completly make up figures to prove their point? im not even going to touch on her horrible math skills
Strictly speaking, this is totally possible.
The first figure has to do with a single-instance-probability. Basically, any time you play with fire, you either will get burnt or you will not get burnt.
the second figure has to do with the recording of single instances..
Think about it this way…even though you have a 50/50 chance of flipping heads on a coin, its still possible to hit heads 9 times in a row.
More like the Absinthe Clearinghouse Blog
Do they need a fairy?
No, but I do.
Where shall I deliver myself to?
*climbs into airmail box*
Someone pinch me – no, don’t!
*steals MRN*
Ha! Take that K@! :p
Any jobs in England? I feel more loved there than I do in Connecticut!
None! I’m looking for one myself and the miserable sods can’t even be bothered to acknowledge your application.
*squeeze*
Snap- have a job, hate it, but at least it pays the bills, I can’t help thinking some of the companies I have applied for giggle when they see my CV!
*squeeze*
Working in a restaurant isn’t glamorous, but at least it’s universal. I really do dream of just wandering around picking up serving jobs in different parts of the U.S. or the English-speaking parts of the world.
Well you’d love England, I hear they speak English there!
Jobs in England? Well, not at the moment.
Dammit! I thought they said abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. No wonder I’m frustrated.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Oh dear, at least you weren’t told Abhorrence makes the heart grow fonder, that would have got you in a real pickle!
Its real, check it out: http://blog.abstinence.net/2008/06/page/2/
obviously not written or read by the knocked up Palins.
Why is that? Someone who has written or read an article on abstinence can’t get knocked up?
And were there two knocked up? I see a plural.
Plays with rife.
Play with fries?
Play with strife?
Gay with knife?
Horrific!
Rrrrr!
*hands out fliers*
*Takes one*
It says you’re having a party and guests can only enter through the back door if they say the secret code. This true?
It’s true, the back passage is used for heavy traffic. I’m saving the front entrance for nobility and appearances only.
That’s OK, I’m a back door man.
Jam’s back door is really tiny though. How will we all fit? I don’t wanna form a line and take turns entering. It could take all day.
My rear entrance is bigger than you might think. It’s like the Tardis.
It sounds like a blackhole. I’m afraid and excited to attend your party.
You mean it looks tiny but it’s way too roomy once you’re inside?
Nobody is likely to get claustrophobic.
We are still talking about my patio doors, right?
The patio doors of perception. Infinite…
Eeek! My mind is disgusting. Thank you so much for pointing it out…
They call THAT an article? Where are the references?
Please do not reference grammar- I tend to cry!
Our double blind randomized controlled study shows that bearded men are better lovers compared to non-bearded men.
Oh I can concur!
How much facial hair does a man have to have for it to be considered a beard?
I have a little billy goat patch thing going on. That count?
Could I rock you like a hurricane or am I an inconvenient breeze that knocks around loose papers?
Put it this way, my hubby has what is known as the Imperial!
I wonder how evil geniuses with curly moustaches perform?
Are we sure Czuhc’s beard is for real? (Clicky)
hehehe, xkcd is photoshopped! :p
So my world is photoshopped, and th only real bit is the failpeeps?
*head asplosion*
That’s why Gandalf started his career in the porn business.
I can see it now…
Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Frodo: Gandalf!
Gandalf: I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. Go back to the shadow. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! You shall not pass! Unless *starts to undress*you wanna get freaky.
I need someone who can play some awesome porno synth in the background. I want to see my dream on the silver screen.
“I think really Dildo preferred slipping off quietly in the end,” said Gandalf.
“I enjoyed being lashed by the dark monster from the deep,” sayeth Gandalf. “I felt invigorated once the session was completed.”
Don’t act like y’all passed the probabilty section of your high school math class.
I passed with a ratio of 3:1
As long as you didn’t pass with flying colors. Flying colors piss me off. Stay on the ground like regular colors are supposed to. Showoffs!
I passed, but only because the tests were graded on a (normal) curve.
It was 50/50. I only pass nine exams out of 10.
Public schools FAIL us once again.
The only thing I learned from High school that I use on a regular basis is how to not get stabbed.
That’s quite useful, no?
Indeed.
Unfortunately they didn’t teach us that at my school
*looks down at pool of blood*
More likely private Christian school.
I passed out on nine exams out of 10.
Well you are a Navy boy! *giggles*
I got an 8.0 (p<0.001, 95% CI 6.5-9.5)
I don’t have much confidence in that grade.
*Tries to comprehend*
*Starts to glitch*
*Starts to overheat*
*Starts to spark*
*Starts shut down sequence*
You misspelled stats.
lol I haven’t goofed yet. The English gods are by my side today.
On 9 out of 10 tests, I graded at better than 50%.
When you open your mouth or type, there is a 50/50 chance you will FAIL, and 9 times out of 10 you do…
you lie!
Ok, that’s technically not a contradiction – something that has a 50% chance of happening CAN happen only once (or nine times) out of some particular set of ten tries. That’s the whole point of probability – a completely fair coin toss can come up heads 100 times out of 100; it’s just not very likely to happen that way.
/pedantry
I’m really glad that there are at least some people here that get statistics. A 50/50 chance does not necessarily mean something happens half of the time, it just means there are 2 possible outcomes and they’re both equally likely to happen.
Okies, I was wondering about that. I’m mathematically challenged, so I wondered whether it was just my lack of understanding, but if I flip a coin, it has a 50/50 chance of coming up heads.
I flip that coin ten times, it could come up tails once, and heads the rest.
Therefore, it had a 50/50 chance of coming up heads, and nine times out of ten it did!
I feel better now that I know it’s not just me
fifty percent of the time it works EVERY TIME…
Yeah, You just have to be there at the 50% of time when it IS working.
Yu guys do realise that 75% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A blog within a blog?
*head asplodes*
Failure to understand dry humour fail
Failure to go with the flow and have a good time.
let’s keep auntie flo out of this.
50% + 90% fail.
is that bernie madoff math?
Million to one chances happen nine times out of ten you know!
Do you people choose not to understand humor because you have some sort of ideological objection to abstinence, or are you really this stupid?
Don’t answer, I don’t really care.
*Pokes troll with pointy stick*
*gets bored*
*wanders off to find sparkling wit and interesting conversational skills*
He might have rabies, watch out!
It is OK he states he is abstinent, not phobic.
Have you told him about the Dungeons and Dragons program we offer?
I have no objection, ideological or otherwise, to abstinence. Some of my best friends are teetotal.
OH OH OH OH OH!!! i love DND.. especially ADND.. chainmail was ok.. but i like the combo of gygax and the other guy.. (i forget who) with the single person being a player.. nad… yea.. im done.. my brain just sploded.
I have an unideological objection to invertebrate’s attempts to control mother nature.
*Argh* dawnt poke trawll!!
Surely you can’t mean that…
More like understanding fail.
It’s clearly a deliberate error. I’ve heard it in the form “If there’s a 1 in a million chance something will go wrong, 9 times out of ten it will happen.”
Whoever submitted this and whoever actually thought it was a fail have failed epically.
*facepalm*
Lots of things on this site are deliberate errors and don’t tell anyone but
yep there’s a whole list of silly misfortune laws called Murphy’s laws
I prefer to call it Sarah Palin’s Law: if you demand often and loudly enough that people need to abstain, then the children of the loud complainer will become pregnant due to not abstaining.
Just like momma did.
LOL!
Isn’t this taken from terry Pratchetts Discworld????
See my quote on million to one chances!
I was wondering when somebody would bring Discworld up. It’s from Guards! Guards!
I was wondering when anyone would notice what I had written! Oh well you live and learn.
*wanders off singing the hedgehog song*
No, don’t sing that! It will corrupt the minds of innocent little children.
That is my job!
I thought that was Tea Time’s job… oh well.
nah if it was a million to one in the discworld then it was a sure shot
“Read a book!”- handy
Million to one chances only happen nine out of ten times if you invoke them properly, don’t tempt the Lady!
Good call. You beat me to it while I was copying and pasting.
Everybody should read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy from Douglas Adams.
its more of a fail fail. because its not at all a fail. its like flipping a coin. you have a 50/50 chance for either side. but it is possible to flip it ten times and get one of the two sides nine times.
Sorry didn’t read book watched the movie instead does that count Qwaz.
So lets clear the house and start fresh.
The movie is okay but the book is amazing. The TV and radio series are also excellent. The radio series was actually the first version, the book came later. Every version is quite different.
I don’t remember the TV series. Hey does anyone remember Puff and Stuff?
Brain the size of a planet that one!
No it was sorta of like The Wizard of Oz and it had dragons and the talking diamond flute? And big creatures that looked like MC Cheeseburger from MacDonald, and a English speaking teenager.
Who hired this guy?
glenn beck.
Reminds me of NAKED GUN
“Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 – 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that”
That capture is from http://blog.abstinence.net/2008/06/03/playing-with-fire/ .
In fairness, one should note that the relationship between probability and frequency of occurrence is not uncontroversial amongst theorists. But even amongst those who believe that probability is a measure of belief (rather than a frequency as such), there is typically a belief that judgmental probability should approximately equal frequency of occurrence in large samples.
Hmm, i’ve got a question, how do i change my profile pic so it shows up in the comments?
Go to gravatar.com?find a picture, register and then clear cache on your computer, wait 10 minutes you have a 50/50 or 90 percent chance that will work.
Bwhahahahahahaha!
People keep criticising the lack of recognition for statistical humour. What they don’t realise is that the fail was directed merely at the banner head.
does it really matter which?
Hello everyone !
First of all please excuse my english, i really don’t master this language.
The Setence is true, there no mistake with it.
!
50/50 -> 50 you get hurt, 50 you don’t. there’s only 2 choice.
9 out 10 you get hurt ….
It isn’t say that the dice thrown is equilibrate
Probabilities are really hard to understand because there are not always logical.
And like Rincewind will said : “1/1Billion Chance happens 9 out 10 times” !
I think the lesson here is that religious zealots (because who else supports abstinence?) are just bad at math.
Well, for 2,000 years abstinence has been nearly 100% effective as a contraceptive.
yeah and these are the same people who came up with the “scientific” theory of intelligent design.
Yes, I’m sure the person who wrote the above article was also responsible for that. Makes sense.
It’s from World Net Daily, the whole site is one big fail.
That was my first thought too. But many people don’t understand that… and some of them vote.
Remember,
If you have too many irons in the fire and too many balls in the air – you’ll lend up with your balls in the fire.
end, not lend
5/4 people can’t do fractions
Rofl, even with the fail fractions, both are wrong anyway, I’ve been playing with fire for years without anything going wrong.
Statistics understanding fail. A percentage of chance doesn’t mean it will always happen that many times out of that many attempts. A 50/50 chance does not mean that half the time it happens and the other half it doesn’t. Given, though, they could have stated it better.
Read properly, this statement is as follows: There is only two outcomes of playing with matches; either nothing will happen, or a dangerous fire will break out. Nine times out of ten, the latter happens.
But that’s not what it says. Saying there are two outcomes is not the same as a 50/50 chance. Attempting to explain a statistics understanding fail fail.
Abstinence from what? Math class? And what does Clearinghouse mean, anyway? Is that some kind of innuendo?
That’s almost straight out of the mouth of Yogi Berra.
Good thing this website is full of people much more clever than that Yogi.
Heya, Boo-Boo? Are there people here with better pic-a-nic baskets than Yogi Berra?
50% of the time, it works everytime.
Which part of this is a fail – the abysmal math skills or the fact that it links to World Net Daily?
WND is a WIN, but these stats are still a FAIL.
I didn’t know Yogi Berra did PSA’s.
Why would you expect more from religious fundamentalists. Facts are the enemy.
Wow you guys are stupid. There is nothing wrong with the accused “FAIL”. Just because its a 50/50 chance, doesn’t mean it will be 5/10. You can have a 50% chance of winning the lottery and end up winning it 9 times out of 10…. So… The Only REAL FAIL, is the fact that you guys are too stupid to understand the statement. Go take some math…
Actually, you are stupid. It is true that you could win the lottery 9 times out of ten, at a 50/50 chance. However, that is not analogous to what she said. The 9/10 is not based on any data, not based on a specific 10 attempts, it is a generalization. She generalizes that something bad DOES happen 9/10 times, not that she tried it and it DID happen 9/10 times. Therefore, she posits both a 50% chance and then a 90% chance in the same sentence. Therefore, fail.
To use your analogy more accurately, it’s as if she said that there is a lottery with a 50/50 chance, and everyone who plays always wins the lottery 9 times out of 10.
It’s not a fail. It’s clearly meant to be a funny/clever statement; I can’t believe so many people haven’t picked that up. It’s like the statement ‘Winning is 90% mental, 15% skill, and the rest is just hard work’.
Not a FAIL
Thank you for being the voice of reason, Bah.
Sixty percent of the time it works every time
You realize this is in correspondence with Murphy’s law, right?
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, etc., etc.
Is it a paradox?
Your mother, she’s an heiress
Owns a block in St John’s Wood.
Sounds more like something Yogi Berra would have said. On the other hand there is nothing technically wrong with the statement if you actually understand probability and statistics.
If you actually understand English, you would understand that it is still a fail.
If you actually were not completely moronic, you’d understand.
Actually, I do understand. You do not.
Mhmm, ok. Sure.
I bet you’re so smart.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize they completely contradict themselves. First they say a 50% chance, then they say 9/10, or for those 4 out of 3 ppl bad with fractions, is 90%. And those of us who passed pre algebra know that 50% does not equal 90%. This fails 10 times out of 9. Its a fail and a half.
dude you fail hard. the statement is absolutely true. there IS a 50% chance that something might happen. there is also a 50% chance that nothing happens. So out of 10 times it is possible that 10 times something happens or 10 times nothing happens . all combinations are possible. AND somebody who actually took the time to make a statistic about it found out, that 9 times out of 10 something actually happens. Take this example: the chance of you getting laid a day is 50/50, out of 10 days 9 days nothing WILL happen. doesn’t say it couldn’t happen. but statistically speaking (if someone would actually bother to study your sexlife) chances are high nothing will happen. The possibility that something could/n’t happen has nothing to do with the possibility how often it could/n’t happen -> two completely different things. hope that clears stuff up for you.
Not a fail, this is totally true
Thousand to one chances happen nine out of ten times!
Scientists have determined that million to one chances happen nine times out of ten.
Like how with abstinence, there is a zero chance of getting pregnant, but that doesn’t always work.
The only way you can get pregnant on abstinence is artificial insemination. If you screw before “I do”, then you run that risk.
Actually, that’s not necessarily wrong. There are 2 possible outcomes when “playing with fire” – something goes wrong or it doesn’t… aka a 50/50 chance of something going wrong.
The next thing he is saying is that in actuality 9 out of 10 times it actually does go wrong.
Just like saying if you flip a coin there’s a 50/50 chance of getting heads, but then when you actually put that to the test its possible that 9 times out of 10 you get heads.
It’s good to know there’s at least 1 in every 6,789,906,834 people on this planet who actually cares about statistics.
Well, you know what they say. Every 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions…
hahah good, i am not going crazy thinking its right.
60% of the time, it works every time.
Um, no, win. Not in a news article, perhaps; that’s a bit weird, but this is quite a common sentiment to refer to the fact that a lot of statistics don’t work out the way you would expect them to.
Another one is “million to one chances occur 9 times out of 10″
This sounds like a saying I used and heard a lot in the navy, 50/50 90. It means given a fifty fifty choice the wrong choice will be made 90% of the time
I hate fails that make me think…
84.342.7% of statistics are made up on the spot. OH WAIT—
*Fwoom*