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gate crasher
Hurry! Hurry! The gate is….
♫ I’m late, I’m late for a very important gate ♫
♫ No time to say hello, goodbye I’m late I’m late I’- KERASH ♫
♫ Break on through to the other side. ♫
~ The Gates
♫ The Doors: Absolutely Live ♫
Um…not since either ’71 or ’73…
ht tp://www.whosdatedwho.com/topic/7936/jim-morrison-rolling-stone-magazine-17-september-1981.htm
Did you just say I’m dated?!
I’ll date ya … and repeat my post …
First one was blogomonsterfied. The next one I offered doesn’t work. The replacement is in moderation. Here’s one more:
ht tp://www.rollingstone.com/photos/gallery/5392223/1981_rolling_stone_covers/photo/18/large/elvispresley
The second one you gave worked fine for me.
Na na, for reals! I was hanging out and listening to their albums, and they just came out of my speakers and sang to me! Maaaaaan, that was an awesome Tuesday.
I once had a lizard that ate Tuesdays. It was all kinds of sparkly.
Vampire lizard?
Chameleon Twilight
“And so, the lizard fell in love with the fly…”
I can do anything
I can make the earth stop in its tracks
I made the blue cars go away
I had no idea the Lizard King was such a hot concept.
Lizard King? What did I miss? I’m still in shock from that “kid’s bracelet” fail.
Pfft, that was ages ago! We’re living in the future, CO! You gotta keep up if you don’t want to be left in the dust!
*Starts singing*
*squeezes Shadow*
You might not want to do that. I’m covered in lizards and flies and dust and blue cars.
And bracelets.*Flamethrower sterilizes Shadow*
*Looks at burning heap*
Now what am I supposed to do?
…
HI HO GOOGLE!
*Comes back from search*
Oh, so I need a fire extinguisher!
*Takes an hour to go get one*
*Pokes Shadow with stick*
Huh. The flames are already out. You still alive?
Lizard Skynard? What??
Poor Ruby!
Who could hang a name on here?
*reaches up and snags the extra ‘e’*
I’ll save it for later.
Something about this fail made me think of Indy as well. I’m trying to figure out which scene this would be reminiscent of.
the scene in the beginning of the first movie where he is trying to get out of the temple and has to slide uner the coor before it closes.
That just won’t do.
*takes abstracts ‘C’ and hands her ‘D”D’*
ooooh, right, the door! *headdesk*
*hands her one more ‘d’ just because*
Triple D?
*sneaks up behind WN*
*steals his >ZAP!< Dot Org*
*runsawaywithasuperquickness*
*sneaks up behind LGB, steals her “little and blue”-ness*
*runsawaywithepicsuperquickness*
Hey Girl!
Throttle wide open, you can crash the gates! (crash the gates!)
I thought he was trying to do something from the Italian Job
in soviet russia cars ride uuuuu
in communist germany, my grandmother would have ridden youuuuuuu.
*Shouts from corner of crowd*
I GOT IN! I GOT IN!
that’s not what she said. …
Oh yes it is!
That’s badass, like sliding under a closing gate and getting your feet shopped off. As long as you’re on the other side it’s all cool
that’s ‘chopped’ off, had a fail there myself
Stupid leaf was in the way of the gate.
Vehicle vs. gate or vehicle vs. bridge.
.
Which is better?
.
You decide!
VELVET!!!
*squeezes velvet in bear hug*
*squeeze with tea* for BFF. How are you?
Ooh ta!
*sips tea*
I’m great, thanks. I’ve just recovered from a rather nasty bout of flu (not the swine variety, though), but I’m fine now. How have you been keeping, velvet? We’ve all missed you!
Flu is no fun. Glad you’re feeling better! I’ve been up to my eyeballs in work (see the fail I powered yesterday for all of the gory details). But it feels so good to be missed! I really love you guys!!
.
*big ol’ southern-style squeeze*
But…you will drop by more often now, eh? Eh?…Eh?
*Bambi eyes*
I’m going to try to drop in daily, or at least weekly. It all depends on the work load.
.
*gives the stink-eye to the stack of inventory tickets on the desk corner*
*gives velvet a long-time-no-see squeeeeeeeeze*
Stin Kai? Is that your cat?
That’s a fancy way of saying an evil look.
.
My cat is named Oreo. Care to guess his fur colors?
The kind of colors that make him deserving of a spot in a coloring book?
The same colors as a boot, penguin, train, piano and whale?
You two are budding fail historians, aren’t you?
*squeezes MRN*
That was one of my favo(u)rite fails!!
A favo(u)rite for a lot of people, apparently. Currently has the same number of posts as the street address for the Munsters! I hope I didn’t spoil it for any of the people still trying to solve it.
1313 Mockingbird Lane, huh?
I spilled spot remover on my dog … now he’s gone.
*head desk*
Ow.
How can you be sure it was not H1N1 ?
The symptoms of swine flu are a high fever, coughing, runny nose or stuffy nose, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills, fatigue or tiredness, and diarrhea and vomiting. I only suffered one or two of these symptoms, and the fever wasn’t too high (only 38 degrees centigrade).
AHAH ! You fell for my little trap! Your inital statement was false. You should have said “I’ve just recovered from a rather nasty bout of common cold/viral upper airway infection/flu-like syndrome”.
*snork!*
Curses! I’ve been foiled! I’ll get you next time, Czuhc! NEXT TIME!!!
*twirls moustache and shakes fist at czuhc while driving away in jeep*
*shakes beard and blows pipe smoke in BFF’s jeep*
BTW, it are mainly our governments and the farmaceutical industry who want us to believe that the swine flu is accompanied by the symptoms you described.
Who do you think you are? A doctor or something?
Do you concur?
I Google, does that count?
I would google Dr.Czuhc.
I concur with the doctor. At least in the US, the only flu circulating at the moment is swine flu, so you either have swine flu or another respiratory virus if you have flu-like symptoms.
I’ve had two…count them, TWO…emails from the health department here on campus that people I’ve been in contact with daily have tested positive for the piggy-sniffles. With my compromised immune system, it’ll be a miracle if I don’t get ‘em.
I’m getting the vaccination anyway, though.
Yes, please do!
We found out that one of my daughter’s classmates “officially” was diagnosed with H1N1, which then spread through his entire family. We think another classmate had it last week. My husband got sick while we were on vacation & then I got sick after we got home. He was much sicker than I was — not sure if it was H1N1 or not. *shrugs*
This is why I only acknowledge two diseases: 1) General Malaise and 2) Dead.
Hah! “Death”. That’s what our governments want us to believe.
THE GOVERNMENT LIES! THEIR DEATH PANELS ARE SOCIALISTS TRYING TO PULL THE PLUG ON GRANDMA!!!!
*screams and runs out of room*
*pulls the girl’s necklace out of grandma*
*screams and runs out of room too*
HAHAHA!
*faints*
*hands mind bleach to Great Scott*
Here you go.
*fans DW*
*wakes up Dragonwriter*
Beer works wonders to wake up fainted Brewskis. I wonder what would revive a downed Dragon? Briquettes? Clotted cream?
Step aside you kids…
*waves something buttery and warm, with a delicious filling above DW’s head*
*PING!!*
*eyes fly open*
Pastry!!!
“kids”?
*blink blink*
I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted!
*flees*
(The place was dead so I wasn’t refreshing.)
Dang, when I first read “fly open” I got a little excited.
*noms pastry*
Hmmm? Whassat??
*nom nom nom…*
Next time I’ll bake something a bit more tart.
*pounce!*
Hmm…I’ll take a vehicle with velvet.
*grabs Brewski and tosses him in the convertible*
.
A vehicle with velvet it is!
.
*zooms off*
Woohoo!!
Hey velvet, watch out for that…
…gate!!!
You gate rape, you pay higher insurance rate.
It was so Mini, the gate never felt a thing anyway.
*coopers a feel, I mean, gets in a jam, I mean, tight squeeze*
*skirts the issue*
*hugs the curve*
*Quantifies*
You can’t count on my figure.
Those gates are just a suggestion anyway.
I thought this issued was closed.
This is not a gate.
failblog.org/2009/05/02/door-sign-fail/
Ceci n’est pas une porte.
Binary logic fail. It was a NOT gate.
AND?
Quantum theory FAIL – it both WAS and WAS NOT a gate.
Has anyone seen my cat?
Stin Kai?
I brought Oreos for everyone!
Hmm, to lick the cream out first or not…
Is there milk?
*hopeful look*
Of course. You can’t have Oreos without milk. Skim, 2% or whole?
Do you have 1%?
*bats eyelashes*
Either 2% or whole for me, please — whichever is fresh & readily available.
Of course, I should probably go eat lunch before indulging in Oreos.
*noms a few after dinner Oreos with milk*
A perfect dessert, thanks!
Yer welcome!
*squeeze*
And it DID and DID NOT lead to Schrödinger’s box.
But it MAY and MAY NOT lead to BFF’s
Still, the place appeared to be very exclusive, or am I just confused? (situation normal)
NOR?
Exactly.
*throws a K BFF’s way*
Souper!
Gate Win!
*raises eyebrow*
*makes note in logbook*
*looks at logbook*
I think you’re gonna need a bigger book pretty soon, Ms B.
Here, you can use mine.
Ooooh! Thanks!
*runs off to get glitter pens to decorate new logbook with*
*scribbles a few things in book in pencil*
*giggles*
*runsawaywithalotofquickness*
*looks for soap to wash out BFF’s…mouth*
*zooms away in jeep*
You’ll never take me alive!
This can’t end well.
It never does…
The amount we spend on Jeeps and BFF clones is really ridiculous.
I know! According to my calculations, we’ve spent…
*inputs calculations in calculator*
*calculator explodes*
….that much. On my body doubles and jeeps. The coffers have almost been depleted! WE’RE IN THE RED!!! AAARRGGHHHH!!!
*jumps out of window*
*falling next to BondFan*
Hello
*tips hat*
*hat flies off*
*lands on someone*
No worries folks, this is a money making venture!
*prints up a few more billion*
*gives it away like candy*
*gets up and dusts off*
*greets ZA*
Hi
*squeeze*
I haven’t found food (brains) lately.
*closes gate*
Watch out! The gate’s starting to cl…..
*closes eyes*
*can’t watch*
Oh! Thanks, Suzie!
What? Why should I wa-
*looks forward*
*sees gate*
AAAAAAH!!!
*careers into gate*
*rolls over several times*
*explodes in large fiery ball*
oh yikes.
*Dials 3333 *
Run and Run and Run!
*tries to find the fire extinguisher*
A dragon looking for a fire extinguisher? That’s a new one!
*squeeze*
Well, apparently someone sold it, so it’s a moot point.
*squeezies!*
They sold it.
Ah… refreshing.
Hee!
*gooses Aja*
Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Ha! That MINI is going to waste on that driver! I’m in there in under three seconds.
Ah! A fellow Mini owner?
Let’s motor!
I WANT ONE!!!!!!
You’ll just have to ride around in mine until you get around to it.
Ride?? Pffft! Move over!
*jumps into the driver’s seat*
Hey, no need to shove…
Wait till I buckle…! WHEEEeeeeee!
Also a MINI owner here. I’ll admit I probably couldn’t make that either. Haha. I suck with first gear.
Poor car. It looked like it was in great shape before…
was tempted to say the person should’ve gotten the S (a la the BRG baby that puts the “zippi” in “zippikat”), but if they handle a regular Cooper like that, well… yeah… maybe not. ouch!
3!
2!
1!
Fail!
Clearly that driver was never enrolled in GATE.
*sheds a tear* poor car…
I’ve just been reminded of the horrible fate of Mr. Bean’s Mini. I almost cried at the end of that episode
.
A mini is a terrible thing to waste.
Watch “The Italian Job”. Both the original and the remake.
totally awesome movie!!
Alexander that FAIL SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Were you Rick Rolled?
Did it Take the Toll?
Alexander Fail
Suggestion Fail
Way to Break The Ice.
Hahahaha!!!! ShadowTheSniperZombie C.C.C./Head of the Janitors’ Union/Co-owner of ZombieTrollNetwork you are really really always funny! How do you come up with this stuff???? Haha!!!!!!!!
I just put down whatever comes to my mind.
Ex:
In Soviet Russia:
“auto grandtheft you”
“the car fixes you”
Hahaha!!!!!!!!
That’s so funny!!
You are really good!
I’m 17 and my life is my inspiration…
It got its Ups-and-Downs
Ins-and-Outs
going Back-and-Forth
Through many things
Nobody quite knows
where we get inspiration.
It’s a mystery.
*applauds Shadow’s subtle haiku*
I’m feeling very
poetic today, and I
don’t really know why.
I guess you’re that kind of guy.
Haha Italian job this!
He’s driving that way cause his mini is full of snowy ice.
Snow cone delivery?
A fail inspired Haiku:
Another hurried
fool utters these infamous
words, “I can make it!”
*applause*
*applauses as well*
*dons super-sexy, wet-looking, one-piece bathing suit with more skin showing than bathing suit*
*holds up ‘10′ card above head while prancing in a circle in very high heels*
woot!
*looks back*
*nice
I donned my sexy wet-looking bathing suit and very high heels for you GS, but the blogmonster ate my comment.
I can see you in all your glory, LGB! Although, I have to crane my neck slightly to see the sign.
Okay. Who’s playing hide the comment?
Try re-posting it without the bathing suit.
Yes. I think the blog monster’s become a bit…overexcited.
I see it! I see it!
♪ I see trees of green, red roses too… ♪
Ah, there we are. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to put a black bar over the important bits.
*hands LGB a fig leaf*
*takes fig leaf from DW*
*looks at leaf*
*looks back at DW*
You got anything bigger?
I do now.
That figgers.
It’s ficifolia frippery.
I’m leafing that one alone.
Make sure there isn’t a newt on the fig leaf before wearing it.
The tricky part is getting it past the gums…
QWAZ!!! Go to your room.
Sh*t, there goes my Mini Cooper convertible =(
Gah, the leaves are totally blocking the best part of the action here!
Just like those Garden of Eden paintings.
*snork!*
I liked this one, too.
*offers laurel leaves to MRN … & fig leaves to Brewski*
*leaves due to my lunch being over*
*leaves from unknown location and sees the gate crasher*
Although most people know the Greek symbolism of the laurel leaf, there is also the story of Wu Gang, who neglected his work to seek immortality and was punished by being sent to the moon to chop down the giant laurel tree there (similar to the Sisyphus story in Greek mythology).
…Not that I’m suggesting that any of us neglect our work to seek a kind of immortality here (or even immorality).
Speaking of knowing stuff …
Some Biblical scholars are of the mind that the phrase, “good and evil” in the term, “The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil,” is what is called a merism. A merism is a figure of speech whereby totality is expressed by contrasting parts, as in “searching high and low”, or “moving heaven and earth.”
In other words, “The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil” may well have meant “The Tree of Knowledge of Everything.”
Having a computer background and liking to simplify things, I see signs like, “We sell kosher and non-kosher foods”, or, “We repair foreign and domestic cars” as conveying no more information than, “We sell food”, or, “We repair cars”. Yet, clearly the simplified expressions are silly and convey less meaning.
Now I know the word for this. I will try to use it both on the Internet and in real life.
I know you were trying to be clever, MRN, and you were…but I’m surprised at the percentage of people that make this distinction between Internet and “in real life”.
I am not in my twenties mind you, yet this distinction is totally meaningless to me. I have flown hundreds of miles to party with people I’ve met on the Internet–pre-Web even. I’ve made lifelong friends, loved, made business dealings, laughed, cried, and mourned…all on the Internet. Whether I’ve met some of my online friends in person or not makes them no less real or important to me.
Ditto and hear, hear!!
This coming March I’m going to fly halfway around the world to “meet” a woman I’ve been calling one of my best friends for three years now. We’ve never stood in the same room together, but I love her as dearly as my own family. I’m so excited that I finally get to visit her in New Zealand!
Congrats, congrats!!
I look forward to people meeting for once. It can bring joy to see someone actually able to have a chance to pull up a chair and chat face-to-face.
I’m looking forward to meeting an internet friend in December & playing with her at Disneyland!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
We’re going to have sooooo much fun.
Have you ever been there, or will I be (*snerk*) taking your Disneyland virginity?
Hah…I’ve been many times.
Um…does that make me a Disneyland slüt?
Not at all (especially since I’m not sure what that would make me by now). I prefer “connoisseur.”
I hate to sound petty, but powered by a generic quote from a non-avatar’d non-regular?
And to think that I never powered one!
*puts hands in pockets, kicks away a stone and goes sulking*
Aw, you can be non avatar’d non-regular Mike today, Czuhc!
Wooohoooo! Congrats on the power Czuhc AKA: non avatar’d non-regular Mike!
*throws confetti, pops open champagne”
Non-vintage champagne, of course.
But it wasn’t me who…Was that a champagne cork I heard? Well, you know what they say:” If you’ve powered one, you’ve powered them all”.
*hands Czuhc a bottle of champagne*
Your day will come!
Is that a zipcar?
BeepBeep ZipBang!
Are you speaking in Zip code?
My language is for the birds.
I guess I wasn’t Wil E. enough to understand it.
Well go the the Acme-dy to get help.
Well, a MINI is definitely a road-runner…and in this case, a gatecrasher.
Nope.
I will shower in myself in dirt.
How do you do that?
(in the video)
*facepalm*
Check your reply to the video again, STS. Look very carefully.
*facepalm*
I did it again
*angry*
I can’t help it I still miss spelling
*uses ShamWow*
I guess I’ll go and clean up my word mess.
*grabs word broom*
Ruined by leaves.
Also, original Mini Cooper would have made it due to being smaller, lighter, and generally less shit.
THE GATE CLOSES AFTER EACH CAR, DO NOT CHALLENGE THE GATE!!!!!!!!1
You forgot to add
11111oneoneoneeleven
to the end of your post.
Stupid leafs…
stupid grass…
Stupid Canucks…
♪ He was sitting in the lounge of the Empire Hotel
He was drinking for diversion
He was thinking for himself
A little money riding on the Maple Leafs… ♪
Stupid DirecTV…
I concur!!! Stupid Canucks indeed! They’d be okay if they’d stop frakking up the first portion of every game. They tend to do well in the last portions… But lets not talk about the penalties. *Groans*
*snerk*
Well, there’s a few months left to straighten things out before the Olympics.
i bet he/she was chased by the cops
Looks like SOMEBODY reeeeeealy wanted to get in…..
Hope Interneta pieslēgums doesn’t run out of witty things to say before he/she gets all the way back to the original fail.
He he – they usually fall off at the last moment!
Good afternoon all
*squeeze*
The drive to faildom.
That one fail on the vote page with the SUV driver fail is seriously terrifying! If one of those workers had been on the other end of the counter, they would not have walked away.
You have to be more specifc, there must be at least 5 vidoes of SUVs plowing through shops and gas stations.
Gives new meaning to the words “drive-thru.”
…or “that was close.”
People can be so cruel to cars
coopergate
hahaha and that’s all it take to total a mini cooper, cars shouldn’t be that small.
gates shouldn’t be that big…er..or fast…or…oh never mind!
Welp, I guess that go-kart handling isn’t all its cracked up to be.
Its will be a smash hit though.
Mini Coopers scare the beejesus out of me for this very reason!
Hidden cameras scare the beejesus out of me for this very reason!
Automatic-gates scare the beejesus out of me for this very reason!
Thunderstorms scare the bejeezus out of me for an entirely different reason!
Hidden cameras filming Mini Coopers crashing through automatic gates during thunderstorms … don’t bother me in the slightest.
Was that the mini’s fault?
I blame society.
I blame Arthur.
CUT! Okay, who was the moran who used white-out on the words ‘without a single scratch’ in the script?
*suspicious person flees*
*hides white out in coat pocket…*
*calls corrections officer*
*janitor watches the suspicious person carefully*
*janitor initiates program “hidden cam”*
:shock
*puts white out on monitor*
*sigh*
I’m missing part of my colon, but I’m still full of sh!t.
But you’re a robot! How can that be possible?!
He’s very advanced. They went for anatomic accuracy with his model. Something to go with the Genuine People Personality.
Does that mean he has a … stem on his apple?
I’m afraid you’ll have to ask him if you want an answer to that. My ability to speak for others only goes so far.
Is it far–fetched or far more real?
♫The good ol boys
never mean any harm
beats all you ever saw
they in trouble with the law
since the day theys was born♫
♫ If you are so frequently in love,
If you prefer it all to me, then, my love,
You go down the longest road to nowhere
You pull it apart, and you’re just left there… ♫
Um Shadow my song was from the “Dukes of Hazard” or is that the rest of the song?
Those ^^ arrows were meant for my song
And no, my song is “The Longest Road” by Morgan Page.
♫Well you’re walkin and a talkin
And a movin and a groovin
And a hippin and a hoppin
And a pickin and a boppin
Those bods are being bad
You better take a stand
You gonna wake up that thing in your hand
You’re looking all around
There is trouble to be found
Make sure when you find it you get to say it loud
Gotta code three
Need back up
Bring me
My bright red fluro jacket♫
Would that be a good theme song for me?
♪♪ Bad boys bad boys ♪♪
Hello STSZ. Hum a few bars and I will sing it with you?
Hello and
♫He’s fat and he don’t run too fast
But he’s faster than me
Last night at the show we saw him
Going out of his tree
Well you’re walkin and a talkin
You’re my walkie talkie man…♫
Must’ve been a woman
A moment of silence for the suicidal commenter. So sad that he must die before his time.
*gives the order to fire*
*riflement fire simultaneously*
*haves janitors help out*
*Haves a concern for STS’s grammar*
*grabs beagle*
*plays taps*
*grabs snoopy*
*plays raps*
*GRABS FUZZ*
*praise caps*
That he was looking at….
That FUBARed video again? Is it a tradition of sorts?
OMG!!! I can’t believe they were that stupid!! If it was someone they knew they had a nice car so they own a cell phone, they could have called the friend to let them in…….Dumbass!
Just checking the time and see if people drove home?
I’m here and I think I’ll leave now. (unsure though)
Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOO!
ShadowSniperDude- did you get mad at me on the wheelchair fail the other day?
Hard right, hard right!
Seinfeld four!
If they do it in the movies, then I can do it too…
…not.
i can watch this over and over again.. what a douche!
i know that girl, the sad thing is…. she practically lives in that neighborhood and she forgot that there was an out gate
by the way, i forgot to mention, she was already in the neighborhood, all you have to do to get out is drive up to the other gate and it opens
lol so close
LOL it was very funny I enjoyed it
thanks for sharing you make my day …I will keep visiting this blog very often.You’re site cracks me up.
центрифугат зеленый лазер превосходного качество.
That’ll buff out…