Diving Fail
Submitted by tgchan
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Ouch!
chain of fool
It’s like, he didn’t even try to jump.
It’s like he wasn’t exocoetidae.
Well, he had other fish to fry.
Sounds like a frequent fryer finicky flier.
That’s why I don’t travel by chain.
Everyone, lets make fun with the guy that took his glasses of before diving.
Fake. It probably hurt more than he thought it would though.
why would you ruin our pleasure ? >:[
Fat men can’t jump… a bad movie starring woodie harrelson, coming to a 4th rate theater near you.
chain, chain chain!
(thx for the earworm)
*offers Gorgon Medusa an Unchained Melody …*
♪ Oh, my love
my darling
ear worms are in your mind
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
when a song’s still in your mind.
I feed your mind
I feed your mind
Godspeed your mind, ano-o-o-other worm. ♪
^^^ A comment that could power most any video fail, right there.
What an idiot!
(Same for this one.)
ahhahhahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahaahahahahhaha!
♬ She came to me one morning, one lonely Sunday morning
her long hair flowing in the mid-winter wind
I know not how she found me, for in darkness I was walking
and destruction lay around me, from a fight I could not win ♬
(And it’s your turn again!)
Yeah great, go ahead and make me feel old! *sigh* Clicky.
And admit my comment^^ was funny!
ADMIT IT OR I’LL SHOOT THIS PUPPY!!!
ARTHUR!!! How COULD you?
*picks up puppy*
*hides it behind Brewski’s back*
NOW shoot! GO ON! I DARE YA!!!
May happen just like that (clicky; watch from 2:45 on; Caution: Language!))
Oh my God! Is it dead???
(Funny stuff, Arthur!)
*wanders into thread*
*stumbles across most hilarious Arthur postings yet*
*has to be carried out because she is laughing too hard to walk*
EEP!
*runs away*
*still doesn’t understand Arthur’s post*
Did you click? It’s a song. I wrote down the lyrics (copy & paste, actually). The next thing in this song, after the verse I wrote down, is what DerAndere posted. That is funny.
Always liked that song!
Saw them play live once, long, long ago…
In a galaxy far, far away, WN?
No, Brewski, that’s “HEEP!”
Indeed.
Did you listen to this when you were three?
+1
DDDDDDDDDDD
Geez I hope the cop didn’t paralyze the guy.
He could end up in a wheelchair wheelchair. Yes, it is a small wheelchair that fits into a larger one.
Horrible really…
Oops.. commented on a video i watched after this one. I guess I belong on failblog.
LOL! – welcome home!!
♬Leave him be.
Oops. Just… leave that be.
get back to where he once belonged?
like i said this fail was provided from Poland
karmel ciastko CZekolaaada xd!
rail on
Hmmm how about diving into that ladies skirt from before…
Ugh no thanks.
that was no skirt… just the hand towel from near the kitchen sink.
That wasn’t well planned.
…or well-executed.
…or a wishing well.
♫Wish me love a wishing well, to kiss and tell.
A wishing well of butterfly tears.♪
Do you see what time it is now, Scott? And that stupid shit song is still stuck in my head. Thanks a freakin’ lot.
*welcomes Judy to the jungle*
That oughta fix it
Me too, though I don’t find it all that irritating. I can replace it if you’d like.
♪ Jungle love, it’d driving me mad, it’s making me crazy, crazy! ♪
♪Jungle boogie, Jungle boogie!♫
♫ The jungle line, the jungle line
Screaming in a ritual of sound and time ♫
♫ In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight ♫
♫ Jung girl, get out of my mind ♫
♫Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Jungle life
I’m far away from nowhere
On my own like Tarzan Boy ♪
lol, so far i read all this, then i got to when judy got invited to the jungle, and im still singing that song, so lets make another
♫Twinkle twinkle little star♫
“Twinkle, twinkle little star*???
What are you, new at this?
THAT’S not an earworm,
THIS is an earworm!
♫ In the town, where I was born,
lived a man, who sailed to sea.
And he told us of his life,
on the yellow submarine! ♫
♫If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning…♫
♫Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly lolly lolly lollipop.♪
♫Never gonna give you up, Never gonna…♫
‘ I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok,
I sleep all night and I work all day…’
there’s a bungle in the jungle
well that’s all right by me
I’m a $%# when I want &#^$
you’re sh!thead if you disagree
Well if you fail to plan…
Oh, let’s see, run into the water, then jump? Or jump first?
People like this need labels on their drinks, like “Drink first, then swallow”
First pee, then flush.
Hump first, then split.
Pillage first, then burn.
Tar first, then feather
Kiss first, then…
Poke first, then pay.
Corset first, then boots.
Look first, then leap.
Post first, then think.
…wait…DAMMIT!
Cart first, then horse.
Wait, that’s not right…
Drink, then post.
Hm, that’s not right either.
FIRST!!
no, wait…
Saftey….. um…. third?
Dammit! I shoulda listened to Aja!
Can I have the bukkit now?
*offers*
Careful with that…I snorked in it.
*ick*
Ah, but did you FOOOOOM!!! in it, DW?
If she had done that, it would have been sterilized, fire does that ya’ know!
*Puts on fire retardant suit*
*Washes hands*
no. it’s first pee, then shake.
Yeah… you could see that one coming
Really? You saw that coming? Of course, some kind of stupid and painful behaviour was to be expected, but that?
I think it would have been better if he barely scraped across the chain and made it into the water. But left his bathing suit snagged on the chain.
Hindsight is always 20-20.
Unless it makes you go blind.
Looking back, it’s still a bit fuzzy.
(1mag!ne THAT concept.)
Dave Mustaine, is that you?
I !magine somebody’s hind site is looking hirsute.
(Looking forward, Qwazi wazi is shiny bare.)
Hehehe! Yes, that would have been funny! Then the camera turns and shows the catholic school kids passing by…
Catholic school girls. With nuns.
Weeeell… A couple of years ago me and my ex-gf were doing it outside. The ten girls, age ~10, were shocked when they passed by…
My, my, my! Al fresco, eh? Maybe I should suggest that to the movie friend!
It was good until the girls showed up. Unfortunately we were at the point of no return, so… Oops.
I !magine you uttering something like “Move along girls, nothing to see here, the nice lady and I are just leaning against a tree. Together”, interrupted by multiple Oooohs, Aaaahs and GottimHimmels!
Arthur…yer killin’ me here. KILLING me!!
Be sure you can identify poison ivy.
*knows what poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac look like*
*has a few allergies*
I know poison ivy all too well, but not because I’ve gotten a case of it. I pick 2 33-gallon-bags full of it out of our yard/woods each year.
I’ll have to google poison oak and sumac, I have no idea what they look like.
I know it when I see it, but can’t really describe it to someone. If you aren’t really sensitive to the poison ivy, you may not be to the others.
Allergies SUCK!
Well, there’s no poison ivy in an elevator. Have fun!
For those in doubt, here is a handy reference. (clicky)
All the elevators I have access to have cameras.
I don’t think that’ll be happening anytime soon!
Love in an elevator? Like that song…
*considers that for future reference*
Um….
*has an applicable elevator story*
*isn’t going to tell it*
*remembers DW’s posts better than she*
*isn’t sharing his own elevator story, either*
O ’tis probably just as well, however uplifting it might have been.
@Admiral: *POUNCE!!!*
(And *snork!*…I had to wonder…!)
Heehee! *smoooooch*
Not much of what you’ve written escapes my memory…it happens, but not very often.
Personally, I’d rather not see his junk.
what about his trunk?
that would have been more butt crack than I could ever tolerate. would have been way more than just butt crack, too.
so did i, it was actually pretty obvious
WOOH VELVET!!!
*champagne and confetti*
*picks confetti from champagne*
*sips*
YAY Velvet!!!
Woop woop for Velvet.
WOOPITTY-WOOP! Yay, Velvet!
woot, Velvet!!!
Yippee for Velvet! Too bad she’s not here to celebrate with us. I miss her!
Here I am! Just popping in as I come up for air underneath all of the inventory tickets. Our year end was 9/30.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
*pops up for air underneath velvet*
*squeeeeze*
LOL fuzz! I walked around the office on 10/1 wishing everyone a happy new year! Most laughed; some looked at me like I’m crazy.
.
*gooses Brewski*
*wheels in the confetti cannon*
*loads it with lots of colorful and shiny things*
*fires across room*
*reloads and fires again*
Congrats Velvet, and HNY!
Help the Nanny Yawn?
LOL! Thanks, ZA.
.
At first glance I thought that said HINY and was wondering what in the *world* I had missed over the last few weeks.
*moons velvet*
A lot of the usual, that’s all!
VELVET!!!!
*POUNCE!!!*
*SQUEEZES Velvet!*
Hey, good to see you again!
*hinysights*
lol … *goes blind*
*gooses Brewski again*
.
Judy, Avis, and Aja! Hey there, hot peeps! I’ll try to make it back here at least once a week.
I’m late for the Velvet squeeze-fest!
Ah well.
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!*
Better late than squeezeless!
*SQUEEZE!*
The video summoned you?
Yes, Ms B. I received intense energy directing my attention to the failblog.
.
.
.
And Brewski emailed me.
Haha! WTG, Brewski!
Wait Till (I) Getcha?
Wookies Taste Great?
Wild Terrifying Gorilla?
What Terrific Gleeking?
Wait, Too Geeky?
That Brewski! Always looking out for us. Well, it’s good to see you!
I can’t remember what I wrote the last time I made it here.
.
But, a few weeks ago we fired the office manager at one of our facilities. The next day, I found out that I would be absorbing her job. Woo. Like I needed a second full time job for no pay increase. And, to make matters worse, her location is 30 minutes from mine. So I spend the mornings at the other plant and the afternoons here trying to do my corporate controller stuff.
.
Tack on year-end stuff, one employee dying of a heart attack on her way home from work, and my AIS class and I’m so swamped it’s laughable.
.
I should be working right now! I’ll pay for the play later. Maybe I’ll just work late tonight.
Well, it looks like you need an office manager! (Hint: I could really use a new job!
)
ME TOO ME TOO!!!!!!!!
Joins Ms. B in a squeeze!! Velvet is HERE!
¡ooɥooʍ
Gosh, you guys make me feel so loved!
.
*monster squeeze* for all my great fail-friends!
*returns squeeze*
Don’t forget to get your deposit back for that!
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.
“My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.
“I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.
“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another contributed.
“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
“Well, it’s not that bad,” said one woman cheerfully. “Thank God we can all still drive.”
nooooooo!! Old people drivers are dangerous to themselves and others. They make some prety bad decisions. I have to commute through an are where there a Dr. offices for different specialties and a nursing home all on the same side of the street. today a lady decised to park in the middle of an intersection….. good one.
A friend once had a minor accident with an old guy who didn’t stop at a red light. Apparently the traffic light was new and he “always drove like that”. He even failed to understand why the newly installed traffic light should influence his behaviour.
In China, traffic lights are a mere suggestion. Need to turn left, but the light is red and the intersection if full of traffic? Go for it!
In southern Europe the horn is the most used part of a car. Could mean “Watch out!” or “get out of my way!” like it does here, but also “hello, it’s me!”, “I won’t brake!” or “I got nothing to complain about but my horn works fine”.
You should see/hear the drivers in Chicago! I thought St. Louis was bad but, here they lean on the horn if you’re a mere second late starting when the light turns green!
Usually not a problem in Boston, because there’s nowhere to go when the light turns green anyway, due to all the people running the red light.
They do that here too. But they still think that they are the only one on the road that matters.
*shakes fist at Chicago drivers*
In Italy the traffic lights are also merely suggestions. Except yellow. That apparently means “drive like demons are chasing you”. Crossing the streets there was an interesting experience.
Drive like demons are chasing you. RIGLMAO!
I wasn’t really expecting that reaction. Not sure why.
um, abstract, you may wish to visit an are where there a eye Dr.
oh, yes, i do need my eye Dr…… he just happens to be on the same little strip i was talking about.
Not all old people are dangerous drivers. Some are. On average, elderly drivers are one of the safest groups with the lowest accident rates.
But yes, there are some elderly people out there who shouldn’t be allowed to drive.
I always wonder if these statistics take the accidents into account that happend because of old drivers. Like overtaking someone who drives half the speed allowed and BANG!
Perhaps. But if you do that unsafely, you really are to blame. Same if somebody stops suddenly at a freeway merge (on-ramp). They will likely be rear-ended by the car behind, but the car behind is 100% at fault. A true defensive driver always assumes everybody else is going to drive like an idiot, and might do something unexpected at any given instant.
I drive like a madman, but I’m still very defensive when other drivers are in the vicinity. And yes, I get annoyed by the 45-in-a-65-zone drivers.
Well, I’m always to blame…
*makes note to remember this fact if ever filling out an accident report*
In WV, Arthur’s name is pre-printed on all police accident reports as the at-fault driver.
Hee!
I got stuck behind someone hell-bent on driving half the posted speed limit.
Until today, I didn’t realize that someone could be bent for hell at such a sloooooooooooooow pace.
No one in their right mind would want to hurry that up.
Maybe not, but when I get one of them in front of me, I have no problem WISHING them on that highway….
♫ I’m on a highway to hell… ♫
(In case I wasn’t clear on that…)
But it’s so nicely paved!
It’s paved so well intentionally.
Unfortunately, a senior citizen ran into a student at my children’ts school when they were little. He was dragged to his death, and she kept driving, unaware…..he was in my daughter’s sixth grade class, on his way surfing….
Oh no, that’s terrible!
The question is, how do you get the dangerous drivers off the road, before a catastrophe like that happens?
More stringent testing once drivers reach a certain age? I’m not sure what that age should be, but still….
More stringent testing for all ages. I’d gladly re-take exams and driving tests if it meant getting dangerous drivers off the street. Of course given the number of accidents I know of where the driver’s license was suspended/revoked/nonexistent, I’m not sure it’d help.
Maybe coming up with some kind of license operated key for the ignition? Where you would have to swipe or insert your license itself? I mean, you aren’t supposed to be operating a vehicle without having it on your person anyway so….
I don’t know, I just know the fallout was quite sad..
thx for all your commentz
*squeeze*
My dad recently had his license taken away by the state.
I think that is becasue they drive so SSSSSLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW and becasue of the good people like me who see a car where it isn’t supposed to be and go slowly around. Also, one must be constanly vigil for any abrupt movements. don’t get too close, don’t pass to fast…try not to look at them as you go by. I like the idea of having to re-take the driver’s test at certain intervals throughout life.
Curious, I wouldn’t think you would have much more of a problem with traffic accidents than I do, being incorporeal and all.
Ok, I know I’m nitpicking here, but incorporeal means having no material body or form. You clearly have a material body, as bits of it are left behind from time to time.
Right, yet I don’t fear being killed in a car crash. Funny thing that.
*snerk*
ROFL!!! oh, that is too much!! That had to hurt!
Alters the sound of flatulence, though…
Classic clothesline WIN!
He will be ready to join the WWE any day now!
Hmmm… is your mask a WWE outfit? If so, it’s not terribly intimidating. You must be one of the “good guys”.
What?!! I’m the Masked Avenger Kitty! I’m terrifying……I’m one of the most feared……I’m slightly threatening…..oh, all right, I’m one of the good guys.
I stopped by to invite anyone who would like to attend to LCB’s birthday party, over in ICHC.
Please join us, if you’d like!
*runs away with a shyness*
For those that didn’t see the earlier invite, there’s currently a birthday party for lolcatburglar over on the lolcats page. A few of us have been over there.
You mean the earlier invite two posts up?
Sorry, didn’t mean to make a repeat. I should have known someone would beat me to it!
No worries! Arthur was teasing Brewski!
I was poking Brewski, ’cause he repeated your invitation.
I wasn’t sure everybody would know what “LCB” and “ICHC” mean.
But then it occurred to me that most anybody interested in attending would already know what they mean.
Oh, and :-p
*gives Arthur wedgie*
Oh dear, now I look even more foolish than a kitty in a mask should! I thought you meant there had been an invite two pictures back (duh on me!)
*squeezes FBers and runs away again*
*snork-squeeze*
Clotheslined, eh? The site does that to first-time posters.
Thanks Brewski, a little research in FB history told me what I needed to know, but it doesn’t get my post out of Jail.
Takes a while sometimes. If the filter there thinks your name is too suggestive, it may never show up!
Well, you could get around that by having a party for me over *here* you know.
Just sayin’.
*squeezes failpeeps*
… butt (!) we’re all out of coasters
What Would Martha Stewart Do?
Or the vicar, for that matter?
*YOINKS the “Martha” out of LCB’s post and replaces it with a “Patrick”*
*runs away, giggling*
*reads rearranged post*
Dr. Crusher?
Beverly is the Admiral’s favorite.
*plays “Happy Birthday” on a turkey baster*
Are you overwhelmed by all the love yet, LCB? You have quite the following!
Gosh, between here, ICHC and Facebook alone I am awash in wishes. It’s going to be difficult tomorrow to go back to stealing everyone’s shinys again.
Difficult, but not impossible.
I tried to wish you a happy b-day on ICHC, LCB, but every post was “awaiting moderation,” so I just gave up.
Here is what I tried to post:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LCB!
Thx, LGB! We’re just one ┐ away from being twins.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LCB!!!
Hope it’s a good one!
!
*squeeze*
*leaves out some cake for Avis to peck at*
Hippo, birdie, two ewes;
Hippo, birdie, two ewes;
Hippo birdie LCB;
Hippo, birdie, two ewes!
Thanks! Now I can knit that extra-large sweater with feather trim.
I figured what cat wouldn’t like a few birdies. Many happy returns of the day LCB.
*ahem*
Well, umm, I didn’t mean anybody we knew. Heh, heh. Umm, look at that great soup recipe behind you!
*beamsawaywithgreatspeed*
Soup?! Where!?
*urp*
Sorry. I just ate it all. It was just sooooo good with this sourdough bowl!
Hee! Clickie!
No recipe, but you might find it amusing.
Oh the power of prayer!
Hee! It all sounds yummy, despite how long it took. I won’t do most breads for that reason. Not that I wouldn’t love to, I just can never find the time.
We tried to find another recipe, for future reference (so we wouldn’t have to use that one again), and didn’t find anything that was any better written.
I still need to tell my mother about making your own butter!
♪ …I don’t think that I can take it – ’cause it took so long to bake it – and I’ll never have that recipe again… ♪
I might have a good recipe for you. I’ll check when I get home, and let you know.
Thanks! We could use one!
I may have to resort to using the one we have again in the next day or two, for the impending guests. Maybe I’ll pray this time.
Avis, sorry I didn’t get you that recipe. I couldn’t figure out the scanner at home.
I’ve scanned it here and will try to send it to your blog.
Thanks Judy! But don’t knock yourself out trying, I think GS linked to one didn’t he? But, of course if yours is better, by all means, send it!
Yes, he did link to it, but mine is from an old cookbook. Just has a few different tips in it.
It looked like the second guy got a post in the post.
the chain wins
Did he die?
That’s not how you spell “dive.”
He tried to say “Schwänzchen”.
Oh, I thought he was going for “Dummkopfsprung”.
Much too funny for a “Did he die”-troll!
of course he died,and the chain to and the camera and the… i dunno!
But in the end they all died!!
hmmm very old vid
You sound like a gourmet who regales himself with this fail.
“We will serve no dive before it’s time.”
Would you like some red vine with the old vid, Sir?
It’s going to take some time for it to breathe (again).
*clears throat* ahhkkkem…. he may never breathe again, breathe again, breathe again, he may never breathe again….
Meh, it’s overrated anyway.
Yet the links to it aren’t broken.
I’ve never understood this particular type of troll. Old does not negate the funniness. I still find Abbott and Costello funny, should I stop because they’re old?
There are things that should fade away with age. The activities which often find their way here in video form are one example. Laughter is not.
chain WIN
Gut check!
That does require some intestinal fortitude!
Goodbye constipation! Win!
I believe the prior fail was one of the first ever to not get the inevitable “WIN” post!
We cannot tolerate that! Wait…
…done!
Ich habe es TOLL-erated.
Fand ich nicht so toll.
DIES.IST.TOLLHEIT.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/05/skirt-fail/#comment-629808
Seen and answered.
Gesehen und nicht getan.
*Belly laughs*
I don’t think his was.
A side-splitter, maybe?
A gut-buster?
A tummy-tucker?
An abominable abdominal?
I’ve heard of doing crunches, but I don’t think this is what they meant.
He was trying to invent the short cut method of doing crunches. He gave up on it when he discovered that it included all the pain with none of the gain.
Abs of steel he does not have!
… and all of the face loss, with none of the weight loss.
finally, they uploaded my vid
jk, jk…..
RunrunrunHORK!
Is that one very old, or is it just another idiot. Anyway: Failblog itself fails more and more.
“Chain, deactivate! Deactivate! Deactiv…DAMN IT!”
Your credibility as a saviour suffers if you can’t stop that. Just sayin’.
*snork!*
Should I jump?
Nah. Chain will break away when I run into it!
This is actually a lot funnier in Polish – these funny guys tried to parody a Twix commercial (“Ciasto… karmel… czekolaaaaada” means “Dough… caramel… chocolaaaaate”). Well, I guess this short piece of Fail(tm) was about 94 times funnier than the original concept.
Thanks for the translation.
Looks like the last guy “choked a lot”.
His act needs a bit more polishing.
he always wanted to be able to touch his toes
heh … “Jackknife — you’re doin’ it wrong.”
Did he die?
fu ni9
i was just asking a question man
NO! HE WILL RAISE AGAIN AND WILL BREAK DOWN THE CHAINS OF OPPRESSION !!
but…what if he doesn’t? what if he just doesn’t?
He didn’t miss that link.
He was the weakest link. (Goodbye.)
So buddy, how’d your spleen taste?
Clothesline win.
They say immitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
A Looney Toons “Boyyooyyoyyoing!” sound effect would have been perfect at that moment.
*In Porkie Pig’s voice*
Tha-uh Tha-uh Tha-uh That’s all folks.
Ha! My ¡magination inserted that sound during the slow-motion.
Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.
operative word: dodge
I’m going with Ferrari, myself…
Silence of the Lamborghini?
Ah yes… the classic clothesline…
white men can’t jump
It’s not our fault, it’s the rigor mortis. Makes it difficult, you know.
Holy shit
I lol’d
Might I enquire of to how this “shit” is holy? Does it perform miracles? Can it tell parables? Has it sacrificed itself for the sins of mankind?
It’s been blasted with a shotgun.
It’s on fire, but not consumed.
Take off your shoes, for the Fail yuou’re reading is Holy.
thats the only time he can touch his toes.
Completely off topic here, but I think I just witnessed the saddest thing ever.
A woman in the building next to mine had to move out, but was unable for some months to remove her belongings. Her property was foreclosed. Right now, as I type this all of her stuff is being tossed into a garbage truck and crushed. All of it. Silverware (the real deal too), armoires, Waterford crystal.
I get that she left it and for some time too. She seemed to abandon it. But why crush it? What about Goodwill? Salvation Army? Put the stuff to a good cause! There are literally thousands of dollars of good being destroyed!
You know what they say about common sense not being all that common.
Seriously the bank that foreclosed on her property could have called Goodwill or Salvation Army, instead they had to PAY a company to come out and destroy all that stuff. The bank could have theoretically gotten a bit of their money back AND helped a worthy cause all at the same time!
And I have to add, there’s something really horrible about the sound of the crusher crushing all of those woman’s belongings. It is both a nails on a chalkboard sound, and heart-wrenchingly sad.
*pat pat pat…*
Thanks…. *squeeze*
Dude, thats sucks…
You’ve gotta laugh at fat people
You gotta laugh at ignorant people.
If ignorance is bliss, G Dogg must be orgasmic.
I don’t have to laugh at anything. I’m serious. :[
Oh noes! Nao I has a :[ too!
*poke!*
*pokes poker for poking*
I’m outta here. I’ll leave you all with a hilarious top-20 list: the most bizarre Craiglist ads of all time.
clickie!
Many thanks, there were quite a few good ones listed there. My favorite is the creepiest one of them all (note how creepy it has to be to creep out a zombie!):
“Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and 2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm, took your purse and ran away. I’ve done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick moment when our eyes met that I felt something strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn’t so shy (or so committing a crime) I would have asked your name. I, of course, later got your name from your drivers license. So Jennifer if you’d like to get together for a drink sometime get back to me.”
I don’t know, the one requesting a woman to come sit in a tub full of noodles (no sauce) kinda creeped me out.
Admittedly, the stalker with all of his “prey’s” info is more terrifying.
“You purse snatcher! Give it back!”
“Your voice… It’s so beautiful. I would stick around to listen to it more if I wasn’t so committing a crime. Toodles, my love!”
“Oh, how I love you so… you’re face is shines with the brilliance of a thousand su- OOH, $50.00! Score!“
‘You’re face is shines…’
This is why you don’t start a sentence then go back and change it partway through.
Bukkit, please, and make it a big one.
I’d ask the janitors’ union to bring a bukkit that big out.
Hello
*squeezes*
What a save! *overenthusiasim*
Well, I’m off to bed now. ‘Night all!
night
*Ahem*
Everyone, I have made a decision.
I am a robot, no denying it. A robot with with feelings and understanding.
Also, I have a brain the size of a planet again.
*removes one of Qwaz’s ‘with’s*
I just signed on – did I miss a transformation of some kind?
(clear cache + refresh => Qwaz has removed his mask)
*has a Bender “Robot porn = computer with casing off” moment*
*ahem* Everybody, I have something to tell you. I don’t know quite how to say this… I’m still a cowboy. And I carry an awesome backdrop around with me wherever I go.
*clap clap clap*
The first step is admitting you have the awesome.
Say it out loud, I’m awesome and I’m proud!
*Runs around like retard, clapping wildly, trying to talk to birds*
*Squeezes Shadow and Qwaz*
…
Oooh, oooooooooh!
We should totally start talking using only the titles in our names!
AWESOME! Still not as awesome as MGS4, though.
Yay! I like robot!
Looks like narnia didn’t accept his rally cry.
That was painful, yet so funny.
i think he actually touched his own toes in that
Late for this fail but Happy Birthday Malcite!
LUCKY TO BE ALIVE
“weeeeee” “weeeeee” “…DENIED”
Enough with the cotton commercials!
It works!
Fail fail. I see no video.
fail fail fail. there is video
camerawork fail
This happened in Poland – The people here are shouting Cookie, Caramel, Chocolate (though the last one was failed) from Twix commercial.
He didn’t even jump!
F you F-blog. You’re putting ads in the vids now?
Get bent.
Shame on you talking bad abaut a gr8 site ;<
that was so funny
He didn’t plan to fail, he just failed to plan.
Kinda predictable. I was thinking “Cue the fat guy”
And that’s the way the fat man crumbles..
Lol Polish youth is twisted
Yea, polish rulez
its funny cuz hes fat
Ooooh, that’s gotta hurt!
центрифугат зеленый лазер В Москве
OMG, thats the most hillarious thing i have ever seen on failblog!