Crime Fighter Win
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Cheezburger Network Blog
You can take THAT to the bank … and THAT … and THAT!
Speaking of citizens taking action ….
Ben Huh, CEO of the Cheezburger Network, left the users of these sites a message last night. In it he included statements like:
With world-wide popular success comes an opportunity to contribute towards making the world a better place. I take Ben at his word that he wants to make people happier. In a spirit of constructive feedback, I’d like to urge the Cheezburger Network staff to exercise greater social sensitivity in choosing what !mages appear on their sites (including what goes up on the voting pages).
I personally find distasteful adolescently crass references to genitals and sex acts, as well as depictions of real injuries and deaths. But that, to me, is largely a matter of taste.
I find disturbing a number of !mages that have appeared that conjoin children with sex. That, to me, goes beyond questionable taste and is a matter for concern and reconsideration.
And I find abhorrent !mages that condone and celebrate racisim, ethnic slurs, and homophobia. That to me is immoral, and, in my opinion, should just stop.
Again, I take the Cheezburger Network’s staffs’ expressions of intent to make lives “happier” to be genuine. As a participant on its blogs, and a “citizen of the world,” I wish to transform the discomfort I sometimes feel here into a reminder that we can do better.
hear, hear!
*sign, sign, pass*
*throws back a shot o’ tequila*
Wha??
*holds out empty glass*
May I have some too?
*gives WN her best cute look*
Just to add my .002 cents: I don’t remember FB has ever had pictures that “celebrate racism”. Unfortunately, each and every picture or video with a non-white person in it brings out the racists. “The real fail is that he’s black!!!11!!” and all that crap. I caught myself voting against these fails, no matter how funny they were to me, just to avoid having to deal with that. The real fail is that racism is so deeply rooted in so many peoples brains that simply seeing a non-white makes them spit out their hatred – as long as they’re protected by anonymity. Disgusting.
A picture posted to Failblog’s main page Aug. 26 depicted a sign someone had vandalized to make it read “NO LATINO ALLOWED.” Someone, in other words, had intentionally altered a sign to make it into a racist statement, and Failblog published it for the world to “enjoy.”
There are currently numerous !mages on the voting pages for which the “FAIL” consists in the mere fact that they display the word “Negritos” or “Blackman” or “N¡gga.” One, for instance, is simply a pair of sunglasses, and the only thing “funny” about the picture of the sunglasses is the fact they are labeled as “N¡gga” sunglasses.
(Interestingly, WordPress would not allow me to post the above comment so long as it contained “N igga”, but the Failblog !mage I was talking about celebrates the word.)
You’re right, I forgot about those.
The sad thing is that you’re not going to be able to escape these people, so long as you stay online. People who believe being insulting and degrading is funny are in every corner of the internet, and if you go somewhere to avoid them, they will be more densely populated there.
On the other hand, not too much in Failblog is racially (or sexually) insulting. The point of the racist or homophobic pictures is that the subject of the pictures is racist, and that is a fail- not that the site itself condones these views.
For example, the plastic sign that said ‘Women at work’ with the written-in subtitle, ‘I dout it’. The fail was the spelling, and the thing you laugh about is the kid’s ‘awesome joke’ backfiring, not the anti-feminist views.
We just need to brush off these things, grumble a little and if it truly offends us, move elsewhere. These idiots can only do as much damage as you let them.
now are they celebrating racism or pointing out that racism is the fail?
I hear
lol im 666
Please note that this website (and all ICHC affiliate sites) are intended solely for use by persons with a Sense of Humor. If you are offended by the content, go back to your Hello Kitty Island Adventure Game and STFU.
Oh god. Telling Fuzz to “STFU” is definitely a bad idea.
*hides from imminent carnage*
Agreed. I mean, I don’t like the long post but I would never tell fuzz to STFU. That’s just rude.
*hides with BFF*
*hands Leila a SpamCookie™ *
Sorry it took so long! You don’t wanna bake them too quickly…
*flees hiding place crying*
Wasn’t fuzz – just the same avitar. I wouldn’t risk that kind of talk with a “regular” like him…
Oh, you poor, innocent, doomed soul… *walks away laughing*
It’s the same person. Avatars are specific to e-mail addys.
*stifles laughter*
?
Referring to the gentleman who thought fuzz was a different person but with same avatar. That’s the first thing I learned here. Your avatar follows you wherever you go.
Or is it wherever VISA card is accepted.
Ahhh! I see!
*holds up Amex card*
Will they accept this?
Oh yes…they do. Please enter the number below, along with the expiration date and with the 3 digit code from the back.
*completes selection from Needless Markups and gleefully awaits to check out*
You know it’s not my Amex, right?
I found it here, on this table. Right next to your purse.
I’ll take that!
*”accepts” Avis’ AmEx Card*
*runsawayfast*
See above comment ☝!
Listen, the name on the card is the least of my concerns.
*flysawayfastinbrandnewprivatejet*
I hope it’s just where VISA is acceptedm becuase I really don’t want it in the bedroom with me…..
In retrospect, I wouldn’t have told a contributor like Fuzz to STFU. Some lessons are learned the hard way, I guess. I still stand by the rest of what I said, tho. Censorship in the name of the Children doesn’t benefit anyone.
I actually think the point was not so much to protect the little kiddies who come to the site to see the pics, but the kids in the pics. Some of the pics anyway.
Wow, you showed quite the lack of backbone there. I would simply point out to fuzz that the very first thing listed before the fail is a link to only “G” rated fails. If he or she is concerned about adult content they should click it and stop complaining!
Agreed. Some of the blogs are g-rated, and some are not, and that is for a reason. Not to mention, the site in general mocks instances of racism or child/sex displays by use of the word “FAIL.” It’s subtle, I know, but most literate people usually understand the intent.
Hear, hear!
We are all guilty when a society degrades itself. To say “this is the exception and not the rule” or “Just ignore it” does not make it acceptable. We have two problems here: Where do we draw the line? What can we do to ensure the line is not crossed?
The first question appears to have been answered; we may eat dead babies as long as we have not caused their death or have sex with them; we may also pick on country folk, illiterates and the overweight but not alternative lifestyles or anyone who is non white or non Catholic.
Enforcement is a more difficult problem. I am all for freedom of expression, but to allow others to claim “it is my right to view or say anything” is not enforcing the law, rather, it is protecting the miscreant. History bears witness to the consequences of inaction. “Don’t crawl under a rock” is one of my favorite catch phrases. If society (and we are a society here at failblog) deems certain behavior unacceptable then we must do everything in our power to eradicate the behavior. We can email the moderators, vote on the voting page, berate the hateful posters, boycott unacceptable fails or anything else proactive. Just don’t crawl under a rock.
Couldn’t control myself, sorry.
*squeezes Marius again*
No need to apologize, it’s important to stand up for what you believe in.
*Squeeze*
Thanks Gracie.
Thank you Marius, well said. I’d draw the line somewhere else, but that’s beside the point…we all have our lines. It’s up to us, the people that really care about this site, to make our voices heard. We need to do more than complain in the comments about the fails. We need to boycott, vote, write, whatever it takes to convince Ben and Emily to make Failblog enjoyable without catering to the least common denominator.
oh I dunno… it’s fun watching some of the more clever writers on here take apart or spank the least common denominator types.
The line was purely tongue in cheek AA. I was mocking our (myself included) past blogging activity so as not to appear self-righteous. In my defense, I was pressed for time and, in hindsight, I could have worded that better.
Quite the valid point, Marius. However, I don’t believe that “society” is responsible for deciding what behaviors/actions/words/thoughts are “acceptable” for ANY individual. I’m not suggesting that any action is without its equal and opposite reaction, just that “equal” and “opposite” are simply descriptions relative to the point of observation. It remains up to each individual as to where the arbitrary “line” to be “crossed” is, and the variance is wide enough as to be unquantifiable. Again, I fully support an individual’s freedom to believe in, follow, and work toward the goals that seem most beneficial to them within the guidelines of their value systems. I simply don’t believe that anyone has the right, privilege, or obligation to denigrate, castigate, or ostracize another for simply exercising the same freedom.
This being said, eating babies is icky, and stop picking on the overweight Catholic rednecks. It ain’t dere fawlt Gawd tole ‘em dat werdz iz evil.
I disagree WaS?. Society, by definition, has boundaries, intentional or not, in place.
Society:
a: an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another b : a community, nation, or broad grouping of people having common traditions, institutions, and collective activities and interests.
If a society does not enforce its rules it will either change the rules to something it will enforce or cease to exist as a society. Those who choose to live outside of the rules live outside of the society.
P.S. *Snickers*
*thumbs up* Good stuff, Edogg.
Awesome Community Service Announcement, Edogg!
Racists always say, “You have no sense of humour.” if people don’t find racism funny. That’s basically saying, “I’m comfortable with my racism and don’t care to think about the fact that maybe what I find funny could be offensive or hurtful to someone else.”
If seeing images like you described bother you so much why don’t you simply not look at them? If you find that too difficult then click on the big “G-Rated Pics and Movies Only” link at the op of the Fail Blog page?
Grow up and take responsibility for yourself and what you view online. Don’t expect others to do it for you.
One problem with your suggestion is that you can’t know which FAILs to look at and which ones to avoid unless you look at all of them. Sure – if I look at a FAIL and am offended by it, I won’t look at it again — but I won’t know it’s offensive until I look at it.
There’s also a difference between FAILs that poke gentle fun at people & highlight cultural differences and those that are mean-spirited. There’s a fine, often blurry line between good-natured teasing and mean-spirited mockery.
Personally, I’m ok with the good-natured teasing. Mean-spirited mockery, not so much.
i could never understand the offense reaction myself. maybe nothing offends me? the closest thing i can compare, once one of my co-workers sent out a slideshow of the aftermath of a suv hitting a bigrig head on, and the driver of the suv was ripped in half. that did not offend me, though it disgusted me, and my only reply to my coworker was, please warn me next time, because i would rather not have seen that. so is that all offense is, is it just disgust that we would rather not experience? or is offense something different that i just don’t feel? if the latter, how can anyone expect someone like me (i’m sure i can’t be the only one) to be sensitive to it, if we have no concept of what it is?
There again you are expecting someone else to magically intuit what is going to offend you and then alter their work to pacify a minority view. I again point you to the big link at the top of the FailBlog page that says “G-rated Pics and Movies Only”.
If I view a website(or TV show, movie, etc) that may have material that might offend me then I have to choose: Do I view this or do I not? I don’t expect, nor do I want, someone else to determine this for me.
How can a line be both fine and fuzzy?
It’s not just about Dave not wanting to see these images himself. He is thinking about others and what they learn from such trash and what the stereotypes and hatred it perpetuates. It’s about thinking about others. It’s not enough to not look at them – if something is offensive you need to speak out about it, not hide your head in the sand. Geez.
I can agree with this to a point- but the problem is people who are capable of destroying another’s life out of ignorance are not pushed to that point by a little humor taken out of context. It takes a lot more to set someone up for that level of hate… religion takes the cake most of the time.
by the way, i’m not expecting fuzz/dave not to speak out against it- just don’t expect the world to change.
In the end, what is “abhorrent” to one person can be “hilarious” to another. “Taste” and “morality” are relative and subjective, not to mention an important part of each individual. While I understand Dave’s point of view, and fully support his desire to express said view in an effort to modify the feelings resultant in one individual from viewing this site, i personally find above post more reprehensible than most any picture i’ve seen on any of these sites. Freedom of expression and the ability to (mostly) avoid the “moral majority” are some of the basic tenets of internet “life”, and I for one don’t want others deciding what I may or may not view. I agree that certain safeguards are wise moves on the part of any website operator (NSFW designations, etc.), however, some things are just funny, even while being “offensive” to some.
In summation, I’m definitely not trying to start a flame war, or suggest that these sites should be an open forum for the disgusting/disturbing (plenty of sites out there that already have that covered), simply expressing an opinion from the other side of the fence.
Now, ICHC (I Can Has Coffee)!
Who is Dave?
Look at the post. Fuzz’s name IRL I believe.
I was just kidding Brewski!
I am just more annoyed at the loooooooooong posts. I know this is a blog but good lordy!!!!!!
but is it? could it just be a different person using the same avatar?
okay, so it’s the real fuzz. who sometimes makes me smile with his witticisms.
i agree!!! censorship in any form has no place in a free society. i don’t even care for rating systems, but those i am willing to accept because they (usually) placate the overly sensitive.
perfect example, south park might never have been shown on basic cable without tv ratings in place.
“censorship in any form has no place in a free society.”
“F*CK”
Loving the irony.
My personal opinion is that Failblog doesn’t appear to in any way advocate racism. I think the fact that the name of it is FAILblog and each picture showing a racist phrase/word/stereotype is accompanied with the word FAIL could possibly hint that racism is stupid, or ‘fail’-worthy. The only problems arise from the people who don’t get this and assume that because failblog posted it, failblog condone the act/sentence portrayed in the picture.
Freedom of expression is also about being able to say something is offensive and maybe you need to take another look at what you find so “hilarious” and ask yourself, “If I were in their place, would I think this was funny?” Humour is a weapon and offensive jokes can reinforce a person’s feeling of alienation, of otherness. Why not make an effort to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings?
Censorship can cause a lot more harm than several controversial pics (I intentionally avoid the word “distasteful” as taste is a matter of taste). Let’s keep it the way it is.
*thunderous applause*
*squeezes all around*
Advocating Censorship disguised as “won’t someone think of the children???” Fail.
Getting the point FAIL.
Pointing that out — GIANT WIN!!!
*bigGraciesqueeze*
*squeezes LGB*
lol slaggingham!
i find that stuff hilarious. the middle school kid looking like he was give fellacio had me laughing harder than any fail before.
dear failblog: don’t do what failed bands and authors have done: listen to anybody but yourself in regards to your art.
john. john, john, john, john. You’ll never be taken seriously until you start capitalizing.
Amen!
And, hello, FailBlog offers this choice: “Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only”. READ, PEOPLE, READ! But, you’re going to miss out on some seriously funny s#it!
There are cowards that hide and there are warriors that fight. For fighting gets you victory. I am proud of you Fuzz, somethings have to be said as parents fighting for the rights of our children our legacy. But as for homosexuals i do not support their cause as of just yet since none have some forward and tell me about themselves and their lives.
Again Meegwetch brother.
This is as restrained as I can be…
Why don’t you reach out to someone who is gay instead of waiting for them to come to you? Why should they come to you when you aren’t welcoming…the world doesn’t revolve around you!
“All” we are free will. I am trying to show restraint to when people reduce other to a class of trolls why not fly ins or somethings.
I know a lot about homosexuals their choice doesn’t mean I have to agree with their choice or remain neutral either, does that make since. My original compliment was about the protection of children none said “good for you 5 eagles” instead I am being attacked(I feel)”bristle” “restrained” on my personal beliefs, homosexuals are humans like the rest of us not a problem. Two spirited people are not bad but not good either so please don’t shove it down my throat in my country we have free expression of all writings.
What the world doesn’t revolve around me when did this stop.LOL
I apologizes to anyone who I offended but I can say what I want to none owns me.
(safety for what it is worth since rules change daily.)
What choice is it that you don’t agree with? The choice not to hide who they are? Last I checked, homosexuality wasn’t a choice. I didn’t choose to be straight… it was obviously what I was intended to be. I would like to meet the lucky people who got to choose their sexual orientation… I never had a say about mine.
Adding on to what Stacey said..
Everyone knows the typical guy-trying-not-to-sound-homophobic phrase “I don’t care what homosexuals do as long as they keep me out of it,” but this does have some merit. Just because someone is oriented towards the same sex rather than the opposite, doesn’t mean that it’s going to affect your life directly.
5 eagles, I am not you so I cannot pretend to know how your thought processes work, but I can’t imagine how you will not “support their cause”. It is no different than someone being a vegetarian (withholding the whole “choice” matter), it is an aspect of THEIR life, that affects THEM, and not you.
*finishes ranting and leaves basket of squeezes for the FBers who had to read this*
Fail.
*bristle*
Perhaps you’re not aware of this, but being homosexual doesn’t mean someone is an entirely different species that needs to be studied. Homosexuals are like heterosexuals in every way other than the set of potential love/sex/intimacy partners. There are kind gay people and mean gay people just as there are kind straight people and mean straight people. There are gentle gay people and violent gay people just as there are gentle straight people and mean straight people.
Your sexual orientation doesn’t define every aspect of your being. Please don’t treat others as if their sexual orientation defines every aspect of their being. Please don’t buy into the notion that giving GLBT people marriage rights/adoption rights/any other kind of rights that straight people take for granted is giving GLBT people “special rights.” If anyone has “special rights,” it’s straight people in our society — they have rights that not everyone is given.
I’m sure you know some gay people. Just because they don’t let you know they’re gay doesn’t mean they’re not gay. Just because they’re involved in heterosexual relationships doesn’t mean they’re not gay. Just because they are married and have children doesn’t mean they’re not gay. Although some gay people fit the generally accepted (and often-mocked) stereotypes, most don’t.
Bravo, very well said. I personally bristle every time I hear someone refer to homosexuality as a “choice”. What brings a person joy is not a choice. The only choice involved is whether to engage in the behaviors that bring us joy- if we choose not to, we choose to be unhappy. Obviously society has to place limits on what we do for joy, if my joy is mowing people down with an AK-47, I’m not destined to live a happy life. But the idea that homosexuality somehow hurts society is outdated. In a time when there were very few people in the world, homosexuals did nothing to increase population, so that could be construed as harmful. Presently, there is no shortage of people in the world, so there is no reason to discourage the lack of procreation. For the record, I am heterosexual, not that anyone other than my wife has reason to care. We choose not to have children, so in this sense we are no different than a homosexual couple, hence my empathy.
Brother 5 eagles, I respect your honest candor. I also respect your demonstrated willingness to learn new things and perspectives.
Here is one perspective on homosexuality I feel has wisdom:
It is an ability, an ability to experience authentic romantic, sexual, and spiritual joy and fulfillment with a person of the same sex.
I like that.
It’s hard enough to find your soulmate in this crazy world of ours without segments of society telling you your choice of partners is unacceptable because your potential partner’s plumbing apparatus is shaped one way rather than the other.
*twitch*
I’d say “sorry,” but I’m not. It’s a subject about which I’m rather passionate. Can you tell?
You have nothing to be sorry for, sweets.
*squeeze*
I’m very glad you chimed in. Because of past dealings I’m rather parsimonious with my words to eagles.
*squeeze*
Very well put. Love is indeed tough enough to come by. Be happy for those who have found happiness.
just wait until you have a teener going thru the identity process. it’s painful watching them beat themselves up for being who they are.
Sauerkrat I have 4 children 3 of them teens. One may be homosexual at that. Evolution plays a huge rule or may not in humans with or being homosexual
Three teens at once! *hands 5 a big bowl of sympathy*
Random reference to homosexuals, ftw. You should do some soul-searching about your apparent fixation.
Btw, in regards to some of your stuff down below, it’s not a choice. No one would choose to be ostracized, ridiculed or harmed if they felt they had an equal chance of finding love and satisfaction with the opposite sex. Love and sex between two consenting adults is not limited by the gender of either.
With all due respect, Fuzz, if we did that, half of all the images and videos would be gone! I understand as much as you that when something that someone might think is distasteful comes up, a bunch of amateur trolls come out of the woodwork, but I hope you understand that the FailBlog is not trying to purvey any one bias over the other. They are just merely pointing out ironic and unexpected things that they think would be humorous. Now, depending on your view point, I may lower my standards because I am extremely liberal, but I see things that I never would think could even exist by logical people, and laugh at it. If it is (maybe) racist, I am not laughing because I am racist, I am laughing at the person who is racist and merely find their lack of gray matter funny.
…
Aaaaaannnd, breathe!
here here!
You’re a tool.
Our society is already choking to death on social sensitivity. We don’t all have to agree on what is funny; stop trying to water everything down and grow a pair.
Well said.
Shut up, Dave.
I’ll offer one example in reply to those who disagree with my making the above comment (and then I’ll hush up for now):
Earlier this week Failblog displayed an !mage of a home decor business known as the Philadelphia Home Art Garden. That business was established by gay management, it is located in a gay neighborhood, and its name and acronym, “P·H·A·G”, represents a conscious statement of all gay persons’ inherent right to conduct themselves in the world without persecution or prejudice. To post the !mage of their store on Failblog in order to stamp it as a “FAIL” contributes to harmful attitudes. It diminishes everybody. And that’s unethical.
Simply “not looking” at the !mages like that — !mages that can cause actual damage, and are posted here for the whole world to see — isn’t ok. It’s more than something just being merely “offensive.” People really do get killed in our world when we just “don’t look” at !mages and statements that condone and promote prejudice. (This week marks the anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s murder, incidentally.)
I have a sense of humor. I absolutely delight in the absurd. And I get a big kick out of comments made by the community of Failblog commenters. But in just our being here and posting our comments here we support this place — I, for one, have seen comments that I’ve posted here displayed on other websites that talk about and promote Failblog.
I want Failblog to succeed in the goal of making peoples’ lives a little bit happier. It does that. And it can do it better.
_()_
Well Fuzz, you certainly are a bit of a bleeding heart, but I take back what I said earlier. *Rewinds tape* With great power (and great audiences) comes great responsibility – I get that. Still tho, “ethical” does tend to be uninteresting…
I would like to apologise to the failblog community for a recent caption on a news lol in which I cast unwarranted aspersions upon the sexual predilections of Osama bin Laden. I hope it caused no offence to him or any of his family or co-workers. Other captions have perhaps been unfair to the French, Hillary Clinton, Tom Cruise, mice, George W Bush and the Chinese. I hope that from now on I can help to take the lead in producing captions which cause offence to nobody, and give innocent mirth to all. To this end, I would be grateful if all those affected by this blog could write and tell me what subjects they consider too sacred to be made fun of (for example there was a picture of John F Kennedy available for captioning but there was no WAY I was going to touch that!) and hopefully,together we can find some common ground…..
I don’t give a rip what preference ObL is… let’s just rip him a new one. He’s earned our collective scorn, mockery and size 12 boots across his dumpy side.
Spotting sarcasm fail..
Well Said keithybabes, I’m sure mice every-where accept your apology. FAILBLOG is a place that we can poke fun at ourselves and our mistakes. Some people take the posts way too seriously.
As an immigrant to this country, I feel that US citizens enjoy a great amount of freedoms, and I am proud of this country; even with its “racist” undertones, there is a great amount of dialogue; which is a hellavalot more than can be said about other places. “Is USA perfect?”; <By no means, but we shouldn’t let humor get in the way of social progress, in fact, humor is one of the best paths towards it.
Okay, Fuzz. I tried to put a comment in, but three times and it still won’t take it because it is being “moderated.” (see: taken to the abyss never to be seen again.) So, while I did have a very long winded thing about how I respectfully disagree, FailBlog won’t let me post it. So, cheers, mate!
*squeezes Fuzz*
Barring such incidences as willful, malicious harm towards another living creature, non-consensual acts and blatant pornography, it either all has its humor or it all starts a slippery slope of moderation based on someone else’s particular perspective.
I also find it to be a rather fruitless endeavor when people choose sites like these to make “a stand”. Failblog is hardly the forefront of social evolution. I am quite certain your efforts could be better spent elsewhere, countering true atrocities towards humanity and not the collective perception of humor on failblog.
hehe i bar nothing from my definition of humor- anything can be funny in the right context. there have been times that i have offended others by crossing a line, and i will try to be respectful if i know someone has a particular sensitivity… but on an internet forum, knowing things like that in advance is damn near impossible. and even then, a person generally has to earn my respect before i care.
and if you exclude blatant pornography from humor, you’re not watching the right pornography
)
You’re right. In regards to blatant pornography, I should have been more specific. I meant in reference to this site which does not permit porn that I’ve seen. Otherwise yes, (consensual) pornography can be extremely lolworthy.
Dunno that this instance represents anything more that failblogs simple (albeit occasional) inability to see intentional actions for what they are.
Don’t label it a FAIL if it ain’t. Duh. And do your research.
Otherwise, we’ll soon find ourselves in the camp of America’s Unfunniest Home Videos, swamped with submissions of people intentionally hitting each other in the balls. Cuz it’s funny, right?
I’d like to contribute with my 2 cents. There’s no Limit to Censorship, once it starts we never know when it’s going to end. I have the luck of living in a censorship free country, no beeps over words in national television I assure you, there are specific rules that guide us all, and it’s up to us as a society to follow those rules, and if there’s something we don’t like, we don’t watch, and if we feel we should protect our children from something, we don’t let them watch either.
Regarding the example you just mentioned, it’s up to you as a participant in failblog to express your opinion in the comment section. You can post Acronym WIN, if you decide it’s fitting. But are you sure that you want someone else to decide for you what you can or can not watch/see/comment? I for one, don’t. I want to decide for myself. If someone start’s editing, when will it stop? We start by not allowing some images, do we censor some comments too? Because some of the comments I see are just plain dumb and far more offensive than most of the images. Once it start’s there’s no telling when it’s going to stop, so in my opinion, I’m AGAINST censorship in any way. There are rules that guide us, we just have to live by those rules. I believe that (I didn’t bother to check) there are rules and guielines to post in failblog, like no explicit sex images for example, it’s up to us to follow those rules, and ignore matters of taste, political agenda, etc… It’s a choice we have to make. My vote is cast.
Cheers!
Hi Randall,
There already is censorship in the FB comments. Try posting something with “N-word” in it — it will be blocked. Try posting “bènd over” — it will be moderated. And egregiously offensive comments that do appear here can be, and are, deleted by the FB staff from the website.
You may know, the most distinctive aspect of the human brain anatomy are the frontal lobes. Do you also happen to know what is the most distinctive function of that most distinctive part of our brains? The ability NOT to do things. The frontal lobes provide us the capacity to inhibit our “lower” brain actions (such as the impulses of the so-called “Four F’s” — impulses for feeding, fleeing, fighting, and sex-related behaviors — associated with the hypothalamus).
The “no Limit to Censorship” principle has a certain romantic cachet, but it’s flawed. There are of course limits on expression — “Eric’s” example above is a classic one: shouting “Fire” in a crowded theater. But, at a more insidious and pervasive level, our minds are built to form stereotypes. And when a culture aids and abets the presence of negative, hurtful stereotypes of, for example, members of minority groups, the unchallenged acceptance and tacit “approval” of those stereotypes can and does inflict real harm, both to those persons in the minority and to the culture as a whole.
The main point I am offering is that it makes sense to be sensitive to that fact, especially on a forum that is viewed worldwide and whose express intent is to make a contribution to human happiness.
Shut up, Fuzz
SHUT UP FUZZ YOU CAUCAZOID.
*brings out sixguns*
You ready, BFF?
*loads tank*
Whenever you are, Shadow
*total annihilation*
*watches batallions of flamethrowers, machinegunners and bazooka launchers march past*
I love the lady that walks over and kicks him in the ribs after he’s down… so daintily.
Yeah
THIS is for trying to rob me!
The little kick probably sounded like a puffy pillow.
*Pooffff*
Ribs?
I was hoping it was in the ear. But I don’t believe her shoes were pointy enough.
It definately lokked like a head shot.
glad that through the debate about race and pcness someone else besides me caught that and thought it was funny.
that lady powned him with a kick at the end!
hi man i dont get thsi ved E o
nice tackle…
*TACKLE!*
*squeeeeze!*
*flip, pin, SUPASQUEEZE!!!* *smooch*
*click*
IDK, terrified to click…..
She just took a picture of that somewhat compromising position.
That wall is thankfully starting to fill up with pictures other than me!
I still have my eye (and camera lens) on you, young missy!
ahhh, lol!! *snatches pic from wall, runsawaywiththequickness*
You just snatched something from DW’s wall?!!?!
Brave, very brave.
ooohhh, well
I’m wearing my ‘flame retarded’ atire and have doused myself with a dry-chem extinguisher…. I also have my firefighter boyfriend on speed-dial…… but, if worse comes to worse, I’ll kindly hand it back to avoid the *FOOM* of doom.
*Hands abstract a can of Foom Repellent*
I have not tried it yet, so if you don’t mind signing this form that states that I can not be held liable for any damages received…
I liked the afterthought kick at the end.
He can bank on more of that.
How interesting.
*deposits foot in the crack of robber’s ass*
*watches with interest*
*withdraws above pun upon seeing GS’s post*
*confiscates pun since we’re the bank and we can do that*
Some like it rough.
Some like it very rough.
Some like it illegal.
Lots of compound interest today.
The interest rate is going up!
You’ve captured interest.
Gah! *slides a “my” into last post*
Glad you had a “my” in stock.
A good engineer always keeps a few spare parts around.
She showed great interest in getting a few kicks in.
I’d like to get this clip on a CD!
There is some interest in that.
Oh hell, I can’r even read one post up now!
And who borrowed my ♂ and then put it back in the wrong spot? I feel like a male nurse.
Good m♂rning, MRN.
Hey, I missed most of the m♂rning. It’s already aftern♀♀n here and I have to leave for work in a few minutes. Shucks.
Apparently I snuck that one past quite a few people.
*snorkity*
I’ve never seen a promising pun-run derailed so fast!
Thengkyew!
*takesaveryquickbow*
Could somebody loan me the E.T. finger? I have a prime opportunity, with Scott’s assets in clear view.
I think Judy still has it. I’ll go check.
Whoah! Wait a second. Very quick, it was a very quick bow. I know better than to hang around here bent over.
snork!
*sneakily hands E.T. finger to Brewski*
Hey Scott! Did you drop that $20 at your feet?
*ponders*
Nope, can’t say that I did.
*bats eyes*
Oh, Scott…could you pick up my hankie?? I seemed to have dropped it…
*looks innocent*
OK, let me get that for you.
*bends down and picks up SuzieQ’s hankie*
*stares at SuzieQ*
*completely forgets about E.T. finger*
The way you bat your eyes drives me batty!
Oh, for gawd’s sake, Brewski! You actually have to pay attention! Here, gimme that back.
*sneaks up on Scott’s behind, inserts E.T. finger, presses “on” button*
Keep your eye on the prize, Brewski!
Wooooooo!!!!
*jumps 7 feet straight up*
Watch where you put that thing!
*recovers quickly*
*fires up video camera*
Should we just put the rest in a vault for next time?
Yes, lets. Then we can all take credit for it later.
Who will be charged with keeping them safe?
I say we get that guy who took charge of the bottom line.
DW can be. I’ll teller.
My word is my bond!
I thought duct tape was your bond…seems you’re branching out.
I can’t seem to think of any more puns. Could someone loan me one?
Or me! But you don’t have to go out of your way on my account.
How do I know you won’t rollover on me??
We’ll stuff something under the mattress for a rainy day.
*looks around room*
*looks up at the sky*
*whistles a tuneless tune*
*shuffles papers*
Well? Anything to say?
I’d recommend surgery. Lolcatburglar is happy to help. She’s really, really… um… fast at surgery.
*thinkswithaquickness*
1.
I’m sorry I borrowed your ♂ when you weren’t looking and then put it back in the wrong place.2.
I really got by YOUR cheese!3. I’m really sorry I got caught.
There, I think I straightened everything out. Well. L”G”B, I hope you had a good time with it while you had it. Did you do any fun male stuff? Watch 3 Stooges? Get lost and have the satisfaction of driving around until you figured it out for yourself? Give people advice even when they didn’t ask for it? Watch movies where the only relationship developments are the black cop and the white cop become good friends after a high-speed chase? Blow something up? Get up after sex and go to the fridge to get a beer and a few slices of pizza instead of cuddling?
Don’t forget leaving the toilet seat up.
For the full list, visit moanaboutmen.com …..
if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and put the toilet seat up…
no, that just doesn’t sound right.
Um, MRN…?
*sonrk*
Bless you.
1. I peed standing up.
2. I climbed the corporate ladder faster and made more money.
3. Changed my flat tire without having to call for help.
4. Watched “The Way We Were” without crying.
5. Ate half a pizza, drank a pitcher of beer, and didn’t gain any weight.
MEN!!!
You called??
*smoooch!*
1.) I’ve seen women do that in the old Boston Garden during during breaks at the Bruins games
2.) see Carly whatserface from Hewlett Packard.
3.) see Tonya Harding.
4.) really?
5.) see Twiggy.
See… ya needn’t be a guy to do fun stuff.
I think LGB got you all turned around…MNR????
*stares longingly at “MNR”*
is-is-is that what it’s like to be male? Is it true? Oh the wonders of the opposite sex…
*sigh*
she had me at ‘peed standing up’…..
I have often wished for that ability.
oh me too!
*clickie*
I have a friend who uses something like this for hiking and backpacking and loves it! But me, I just don’t know… my luck, I’d get it all over myself…
I think I’ll pass on the clickie, but I also think I know what it is.
My mother and I have seriously thought about buying (what I !mag!ne is) a similar product for camping in New Mexico. Of course now that I flatly refuse to camp out there anymore (once was enough), I don’t need one!
@Avis, time & time again… *sigh*
How interesting.
He is a VERY hungry monster today.
May need repeat feeding.
Do you think the blog monster would eat an annoying co-worker of mine? She’s perky and quite cute, but remarkably stupid and lazy.
It seems that the blogmonster is hungry for witty, smart, and funny these days. Sorry.
In this situation, you can kick ‘em while they’re down.
Now, that’s what I call appropriate use of a teller stamp.
“DENIED!!!!”
“For Deposit (into jail) Only”
Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
No subsitutions, exchanges or refunds!
*squeeze*
Hey, I wanted to tell you, I posted that recipe!
*squeeze*
I will have to go check it out! We had our first really chilly day yesterday so I’m in a big soup mood. I had soup for both lunch and dinner yesterday, and want more today!
*eats soup*
Ummmm…
*hides soup behind back*
Uhh…
carrot orange soup was made here today!
*ahem*
*covers up LCB’s, er, mask*
Ok guys, while she’s not looking… I just wanted to let you know that we’re throwing a little party for LCB’s birthday on ICHC next Monday Oct 5th at 12 pm EST… hope some of her Failpeep friends will drop in to say, er, ohai! Lolspeek NOT required!
I heard that!
Yes, failpeeps, please do attend. I have no idea what they have in store for me and I might need you all as witnesses.
Wouldn’t miss it! *squeeze*
Looking forward to the party!
*marks calendar*
I’m more likely to debrief you.
Debrevity is the soul of wit.
Well, now that you mention, our resident debriefer has been AWOL for a while now. Can I interest you in a
compromisingtemporary position?I’ll be teaching when your party starts.
But save me some cake! I’ll drop by as soon as I get home!
˙ǝuƃɐdɯɐɥɔ ǝɯos puɐ˙˙˙
bottoms up!
*skwink*
*pinches WN’s bottom*
a girl’s best position, imho.
Don’t forget your “Quality Resource Materials”, DW.
Woohoo! A party! I could use one.
*early birthday squeezes*
Aw, nuts, I’ll just realized, I’ll be in school then.
*more early birthday squeezes for LCB*
*thinks for a minute, runs out the door
*returns about an hour later, gives LCB a freshly wrapped present*
You had better wait until your birthday to open this. In fact, just be sure, I think I will have the other failfriends watching this present, just to be safe!
But I want it NOW!
Uh uh, young lady, you wait until your birthday or I’ll just send it in the mail to some other little girl who has a bit more patience.
*pouts*
(but considers being called “young” AND “lady” a present unto itself)
LCB, when did you change your name to Veruca Salt?
Cousin Veruca? I taught her everything she knows.
*was going to say that*
*thinks about pouting*
*decides to squeeze M♂ RN instead*
*SQUỂÊĘĚỀẺΈËZES Gracie*
*SQUEEZES WN*
The woman -apologized- to the robber after she kicked him.
*applauds*
*stands next to BFF*
*applauds*
*waves lighter*
*stands next to BFF & LGB*
*applauds*
*waves lighter*
*does the Pogo*
Oh, bazz fazz!
I love how everyone rushed to help!!! LoL
I like the woman who kicked the guy in the side.
The good Samaritan even interrupted a phone call for it. A+ citizen!
Awesomeee!
This video didn’t have the text when it was on the voting page…
So, voters are considered more able to understand the video than the general Failblog public, or someone just thought up the little post-production work at the last minute?
I don’t get it! Can somebody explain this fail to me?
Well, the guy in the front of the line needed money to get cigarettes out of the claw machine. The bank teller, who irresponsibly was dragging her baby behind her in a box while she worked, tried to push the silent alarm, but it had two settings: Off and Off, so it didn’t work. In the meantime, a customer, trying to do a family-style pole dance, tripped over him, causing him to miss the bus and have to take a BMW home instead – so it was really a win.
But… but… that’s not the way it used to be 20 years ago!
Solid Snake: The Later Years
*stands up*
Author! Author!
Bravo!
Take a bow, my good nurse!
*waits anxiously*
*snickers*
Okay, this is wierd.
Judy, this comment, from today, has powered today’s video fail.
(Today’s video fail on the voting page, to be more specific)
*The Twilight Zone music plays*
Indeed. Congratulations are in order… I guess…
*brings out champagne and sparkling cider*
*is still slightly dazed*
*giggles*
I voted for it!
*giggles again*
*giggles*
I was the first one to vote for it!
*giggles again, blows raspberry at Gracie*
Me too!
*giggles*
*can’t stop giggling*
My work here is done. Maybe I’ll go home early.
Uh, wow… shall I just start posting directly to the voting pages now?
ROFL!!
This looks like a job for Average Joe!
Joe the Plumber?
yes he took him out with his lead pipe
hee … that’s an above average comment, Kunzie214
Haha, that getup offers terrible peripheral vision huh?
This video is relevant to my interest rates.
This fail is obviously very interesting.
{{{LCB}}}
The robber seemed rather IRA-te, though…
Seemed kinda cagey to me.
On account of it being a capital offense?
Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll get a bailout.
Did he direct deposit?
*laughs all the way to the bank*
*forgets to remove mask, is tackled by customers*
*stops laughing*
Did you diversify?
*gives DW a toaster*
*realizes that might be an unnecessary appliance in the DW household*
*invests assets in asbestos*
that’s what I like about ya, fuzzy… always doing asbestos you can.
True story. In July I walked into my bank. Everyone went quiet. The teller was nervous. I had forgotten to remove my surgical mask.
*giant snorkroffles!!!*
Oh, that made me LOL!!!
This happened in West Allis, WI. The man’s wife was at the teller window, and he was worried about her safety. She is the lady that ends up kicking the robber. The local media reported that she actually apologized to the robber for kicking him after it was all over. He got at least $8,000 from the tellers in that tiny short stretch of time. No wonder they rob all the banks here in the metro Milwaukee area.
oh, was she implicated?
n/m i understand now. the guy who did the saving was her husband, not the guy who did the stealing…
$8,000 in just a short amount of time you say? I think I am in the wrong line of business.
want to team up? I’ll be the inside guy…. unless you wanted to be..
Can I be the outside guy who really is an inside guy but looking in from the outside?
Can I be the outta site guy with the dyno-mite?
Don’t Walker away from me!
heh … I’ll stay for some Good Times!
L_rd, if I tackled a robber and my girlfriend were present, the robber would be lucky if she gave him just a kick before he surrendered.
Here is a link to a longer story with much more video and different camera angles. Hang in there to the end. For some reason the news station put the very best most complete footage way at the end of the story.
http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/59783262.html?video=pop&t=a&bctid=CLIP_ID_120892
That was to get you to stay tuned to their station, the same way they tell you about some neat thing that is “coming up next”. And by “next” they mean “in the very last 2 minutes of the broadcast”.
I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat
Did he diet?
I told you I am big bone’ded!!!!!
*runs out crying*
Hmmmm…
*checks copyright on the GBF trademark running out of room*
You’re clear. My client’s act involves shouting/screaming and running out of the room, not crying.
Oh…I would never steal your M.O. without proper credit.
*SQUEEEEEEEEEZE*
I knew you wouldn’t! You’re not that kind of person, after all.
*squeezes back*
*rushes back to previous fail, just to see what Leila is on about*
*puts on running shoes…just in case*
Yeah, this upside-down table just isn’t going to do it.
Loan sharks are big and scary!
Think the tide’s with us?
Keep kicking.
Or we could start bailing out the water.
Yay! Another one I voted for!!!!
My faith is slowly but surely being restored.
*SqueezesAllRegularsAndAllNiceNewPeeps*
And the FailBlog Good Faith Estimate agrees! Hurrah!
*squeeze*
Truth in Lending!!! Yessssss!!!!
OMG, don’t remind me. I’m getting a refi, and I’ve read and signed so many forms I’m seeing double.
I don’t envy you Brewski. Take all the pens you can get your hands on.
*snerk*Great advice!
Oh dear.
I just read that as “Take all the penis …”
Too much…!
…But mightier than the sword.
*squeezes failfriends*
*blames her eyeglasses*
I still can’t get used to these things. I think my prescription may be a little wonky.
Do you look like this when you take them off at night?
If so, you might want to have your prescription adjusted.
They may just be tired. Take your glasses off and give your eyes a little exercise.
*eveningfailpeepsqueezes*
Or you might have a slight sensitivity to sunlight at the moment. Maybe you should try some
.
Just don’t rub them too hard, or you might
.
I’m actually quite light-sensitive, but way worse with fluorescents than with sunlight.
Fluorescent lights are evil and must be destroyed. I have disabled the fluorescent light over my desk & rely on my two task-lighting lamps (one incandescent, the other halogen in a warm spectrum). I have been known to work in my sunglasses when I have a particularly nasty migraine.
I have to take them off frequently lest my head explode. I can’t turn my head to look at things to my right on the desk & then back to what’s right in front of me. I have to close my eyes before turning my head each way or I get dizzy & queasy. I can’t walk in them for the same reason. I have to close my eyes before I put them on, and then I have to work to focus when I open my eyes with them on.
I think the lens for my left eye is too strong, honestly. I don’t notice discomfort on the right side, but my left eye is not happy with the glasses.
Yeah, get those checked, that sounds very wrong.
That actually sounds like what it’s like getting used to bifocals.
When I first started wearing bifocals (at the advanced age of 21) I ran into things, I fell off curbs, I stumbled down stairs. I couldn’t gauge my depth perception and everything looked weird and distorted. It took me about a week to adjust to them, but once I did I had absolutely no troubles. I haven’t been able to get by without them since.
I’m getting dizzy just reading about it.
*squeasies*
I first wore bifocals when I was nine. Didn’t have any problems. Since my eyes were so crummy to start with, anything was an improvement.
Bifocals at 21??? At 9!!!! Oh, dear. I don’t feel so bad now, getting mine at 40.
*evenin’ squeezies, no queazies!*
Awwww.
*squeezes to all failpeeps*
I’m outta here — time to take off my glasses & go home to veg in front of the TV.
Everyone have a great night!
goodnight good nightshayde
*recipro-squeeze*
Abbracciami carino!!!!!
Ha. Shows you that being a good Samaritan is cathartic.
YEAH, FIRST!!!!!!!
Yes. Yes you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.
*watches over “FRIST” dude’s shoulders*
He is not doing it LBG. Guess he doesn’t want to feel accomplished today.
Well, we all have to have goals. Like I always—
*looks at name*
Whaddafu? Leila? What have you done to me? Judy’s not gonna be too happy with you….
*GASP!!!*
When did this happen? Well, as long as she keeps that nasty finger from me…
*starts pacing*
I think you meant to say “starts running“!
Girl, I’ve been running so much I need to take a break. That’s why I thought it would be okay to pac…
*sees Judy approaching*
*takes of running*
*throws an “f” into Leila’s last post as she zooms by*
*ThankYouSqueezes*
Quick! Change me back before she notices!
*hands Leila Stunt Nails™*
*rearranges LBG’s name*
I hope you like it!
That’s not funny!
Okay fine!
How about this? It’s a slight upgrade.
Lîttle Gîrl Blûe
*tries on new name*
Ooooo! I feel so … continental!
*opens door to ۩ *
*looks ← *
*looks → *
Anybody seen LGB?
She went
a way…
*squeeze*
Ooh, are we making our names out of foreign letters, now? Fun!
Of course not! That’s just a baseless rumor.
*admires Brewski’s new rendition of baseless rumo(u)r*
So are you planning to keep your name that way, Brewski?
hehe — on first read I thought that you said “baseless humo(u)r!
In my case it’s usually debased humo(u)r.
*snorlax!*
Hey, it’s all good with me! If Leila wants you to be the Little Blue Girl, I welcome your company! She’s the one who painted me in the first place!
yeah awesome, even more if had a machine gun and shot around.
You accidenty your subject.
There is more. Look at the sentence structure!!!!
*puts on hard hat*
*examines sentence structure*
I’m sorry, sir. This sentence is not safe anymore. It will have to be condemned.
*wires dynamite wire thingies, starts countdown*
10
7
3
BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
*laughs slightly maniacally at explosion, à la Adam and Jamie*
They have The. Best. Job. Ever.
Agreed
*picks up tiny pieces of sentence*
*tosses pieces into next batch of SpamCookies™*
*turns on oven*
What a nice addition to the recipe, WN! You think of everything!
*tosses in bits of dynamite wire thingies for good measure*
For texture, of course.
*is confused*
Is it for texture, or is it for good measure?
FTT?
Fun To Try?
Flip The Troll?
*takes SpamCookies™ and recipe and incinerates them*
*takes ashes puts them in a bottle and uses rocket to shoot them into space*
There!
Guys! I just found this vault FULL of SpamCookies! They even have recipes in there! How exciting is tha-
Leila? What’s wrong?
*offers flame-thrower to Leila*
*grabs flame-thrower and starts to ‘really’ cook anything that is SpamCookies™*
Everybody DUUUUUUUCK!!!!!
^A typical comment from the ex-Vice President.
Shot around what?
♫ Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame… ♫
Love the Halloween Hello Kitty NS!
ThengKew! I figured that it’s fair game now that October has begun.
*gives GS a gold star for being the nawt-sekkund to notice*
Good lord, how time flies! It seems like only yesterday it was September. Oh wait, it was. My bad.
My next door neighbor lives and breathes Halloween. She started putting up hallowing decorations at the beginning of September. It takes her 2 months to finish her display. Smoke machines, moving corpses, coffins, strobelights, you name it. I kid you not.
And how much of it is actually scary?
Much of it, if you’re 6 years old.
*squeezes everybody*
I love Halloween! I’ll be putting my decorations up this weekend.
Question of the day ~ Are you dressing up for Halloween, and if so, what as?
I’m going to be a mime. My 10-year-old is going as Catwoman, and my 8-year-old is going as a witch.
I think I’m going to sit it out this year.
Store-bought Halloween costumes suck, and I don’t have enough money right now to make one.
You don’t really need money to dress up as something/someone. Most of my costume I already have the clothes for. It’s just a matter of putting it together right.
Exactly, Avis. My costume and my 10-year-old’s costume are made up mostly of stuff we already have. And all I need to buy for my youngest is a witch hat. Very inexpensive this year. Lets me spend more on candy.
A couple years ago the only things I purchased were some white face paint and a white knit hat. I painted my face (I then did make-up as usual for me) and wore all white, shirt, jeans, shoes, & hat. I also had a huge roll of white paper (the kind you see on tables in some restaurants) and made an elaborate headpiece and “stole”. I don’t really know what I was, but people loved it.
It would be fun to go as a zombie cowboy.
I always made my own costumes as a kid. I’d dig through closets. Last year I did a costume party, and went as a Samurai warrior. My girlfriend was a geisha. No plans this year. Probably I’ll sit at home and spray kids with the garden hose.
Ha ha! Not really. We get a couple hundred kids due to our crazy next-door neighbor.
my other half sewed a costume for me a few years ago. took two pieces of pinkish fabric and made a woopie cushion… and that’s what I go as. even have a couple self-inflating noise makers attached to the mitts.
no sure, but I think she was making a political statement.
women… who can understand them.
I’m going as an Opposing Opinion.
*raises eyebrow*
No you aren’t.
I’m dressing up as Julia Child, complete with rubber chicken and wine glass.
Sounds like a great costume! Will you be posting pics somewhere?
Sure, I’ll have to remember to take the camera with me to St. Louis! I still need an apron and the right shoes. I need the shirt too, but that is something that will almost certainly worn again, in different context of course. I suppose the apron will get lots of use too! The rubber chicken, not so much.
It’s way too early for me to choose a costume yet. I need the inspiration that panic brings to come up with something creative.
My son has been asking me on an almost daily basis what I’m going to dress up as. I have no clue. On his first Halloween I dressed him up as a pirate, and I went as his wench. Maybe I’ll just do that again, so save money and stress.
I went as a pirate one year, and pinned a stuffed parrot to my shoulder. My favorite costume that I’ve done, though, was the trailer trash woman. Fun stuff, and didn’t cost me a cent.
“hallowing”?
*bukkit*
Well, those Hallows do have a reputation for being Deathly.
But do they actually fly?
I’m sure stuff will start going up in our neighborhood this weekend (if it hasn’t started today).
I love Halloween, but I don’t think Halloween decorations should go up until October 1st at the very earliest.
Of course, Costco already is putting up their Christmas displays.
The local Costco’s had theirs up for at least a month.
*facepalm*
For some stupid reason I read that as “Halloween displays”.
‘Sokay, the CostCo here in Chicago has had their christmas stuff up for a few weeks already. I think they’re worried we might forget.
On NO! There’s only 85 days, 7 hours, 34 minutes and 41 seconds of shopping left until Christmas!! Gotta run and buy buy buy!!!
*zing!*
*already started her Christmas shopping*
*feels smug*
Hey, they managed to use a christmas song this year for the back to school season! And I HATE that song with every fiber of my being. Hearing it in August was like nails on a chalkboard.
*adds self to Brewski’s shopping list before he leaves*
The Tescos here are already selling mince pies…to be eaten by October 28th!
*snorkroffle!*
One shot – MAS TEQUILA!
Two shots – QUE VENENO!!
Three shots – HEY ARRIBA!!!
AAUUUUIIIAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!
EARWORM!! GET IT OUT!!
Oh poor you, Brewski. Here, have a Lollipop lollipop Oh lolli lolli lolli Lollipop lollipop…
*whimper!*
*curls up in ball in corner*
Aw, I’m sorry. Just think of a happy place, like sooooomewhere, over the rainbow….
*runswithaspeediness*
Exactly. So welcome home, Brewski.
♫ I’m Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the Eighth I am I am…♫
♫ It’s peanut butter jel-… ♫
I’m sorry, I refuse to sink that low.
*snork*
That’s one of my son’s favorites. It’s on my phone for his amusment.
♫ I’m on a bo-…♫
No, I can’t do it. It would be too horrible.
♪It’s a sma-…♫
No, no, that’s just mean.
♪A whole new wo-…♫
I’ve sang too much already.
♫ My heart will g-… ♫
My own weapon…used against me!
*puts hands over ears, and runs out of room, screaming ♫Under the sea…♫*
Buwaha-ha-ha!
♪Who said you can’t go home?♫
♫ Ah, sugar sugar!! You are my candy girl! ♪
*squeezies*
♪ Come my lady, come, come, my lady,
You’re my butterfly, sugar, baby… ♪
♪You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face…♪
♫ Lay lady, lay… lay across my big brass bed♫
♪What’s love got to do, got to do with it?♫
It’s not just an earworm – it’s my Theme Song!!
Divorcee?
Happy Boy Friend, with a Girl Friend with whom I share both an appreciation for good tequila and the good tequila itself
Dear Lord, that’s the biggest Win I’ve ever seen. And I should get with the times and stop making rhymes.
*twitch*
Would you ladies please stop impersonating my students? It’s giving me a tic.
Theng-kew!
*cries*
Ever wish you could *FOOM!* your students?
Ya just had to reminder about FOOMING Avis didn’t ya? *sigh*
*closes eyes, prepares for the worse*
Okay, let me have it!
*opens eyes*
Just remember, my daughter’s wedding is next weekend.
*closes eyes*
That’s a quirky “thinko” you have there.
*realization*
*faints*
*squeeze!*
*and another squeeze*
What are we all looking at?
*quickly scootches out of ‘foom’ range*
Apparently we had the same idea.
*scootches along with Judy*
Do you really think that will work?
I wasn’t one of the ones rolling their eyes.
:p
Ummm…I just like to give people a hard time! “To be teased is to be loved!”
*snork!*
If that was true, Casanova would have nothing on me.
I didn’t refresh! I didn’t know! It wasn’t me! Nobody told me! I wasn’t even there at the time! It was the dog! You’ve got the wrong guy! It was temporary insanity! The devil made me do it! It was the one armed man! Someones impersonating me! Don’t *FOOM* me!
*sobs*
Oh, fer crying out loud. You guys aren’t actually my students. So no *FOOOOM!!!*ing.
I did sort of give them what for yesterday, though. They were whining and moaning about having to revise their papers, and about some of the things I wanted them to do. I’m not exaggerating…there were literal groans, moans, and *headdesks* going on.
So I told them they needed to grow up and realize that whining wasn’t going to get them out of having to work in the real world. They could choose to not do the work and deal with the consequences, or they could suck it up and actually learn this stuff and become really good writers. Up to them. But acting like four-year-olds and having temper tantrums when someone expects them to produce quality work was not going to get them far in college.
And so how many more of them dropped the class?
Good for you! I hope my daughters get taught by someone like you when they go to college.
And they will go to college.
*determined look*
And Avis…a total of 11 have dropped from the two classes. Wheeeeeeeeee!
Yay!! Now you can concentrate on the ones who are willing to learn!!!
Excuse me, teacher? I have to miss the next lecture so I can see this great band, the Disgorged Stomachs. They rock! Can you please give me complete lecture notes when I get back, so I can catch up? Thanks!
*stomples on ß®êω§kî whilst wearing high-heeled and steel-toed boots*
Yo, teach! I is needing a day off, yeah! Can I getz the notes for today? I couldz look at them while chillin’. Thanks!
*flees*
You’re actually risking FOOMING, BFF? Such a brave lad!
My favorite bit is the chick kicking the robber in the head at the end, just because…she can LOL.
She is NOT a chick! She is a lady or just woman if you will.
*is a chick*
In a manner of speaking.
School me. Seriously. How is she a chick?
I am a chick. In a manner of speaking.
OMG!!!! I get it now and I am soooooooooooo embarrassed!!!!
*signs up for ESL*
*curses flu*
*snorkitty*
Haven’t we discussed the dangers of too many snorks before…..this is just irresponsible!
Well, I used to count them, until my calculator exploded.
Okay, now I am seriously worried about my mind. I read that as “snorktitty” for a millisecond.
*curls up into ball, and rocks to and fro, murmuring “your mind is fine, your mind is fine”*
See what happens when you hang out here, BF?
This place is
BOOBS!gradually dirtying myWILLY!mind! Before you know it, I’ll bePEN1S!subconsciously saying rudeBREASTS!words!OHMYFREAKING…
*points to room*
March it mister!!!!!!!
Yes, ma’am…
*slowly climbs stairs and grumbles a few more curses*
I heard that!!!
*quickly flashes cards with words on them*
*runs into room and locks door*
*confiscates cards and re-writes them with a black sharpie*
DUCK
NOOB
BILLY
PREASTS … yeah, you heard me!!!
DENIS … see above comment
Your mind is fine! You’re what, 15, 16? That is perfectly normal!
Ahem.
What about us older and wiser ones, hmmmmmmmm?
I never said those thoughts go away!
I think we improve them
*agrees*
*emphatically*
There is no hope for us, just early onset alzhiemers and the cold embrace of death…… that was a little too depressing, …..SNORKS FOR EVERYONE!
What am I supposed to do with an underwater version of a smurf?
*snorkroffle*
*thinks about it*
Hmmmm, I suppose so. But what if this continues into my 20s?! Or even my 30s?!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Yeah! WEEEEEEEEE!
*hands WN and Avis some ShamWows*
I’m not cleaning that up.
Aww, poor kitty. Here, this should help.
*puts tiny Breathe Right strip on snoring kitty*
Is that legal?!
*snore-k*
I’m still smiling at the thought of that tiny Breathe Right strip, GS…
Thanks for the *snorekitty!*
My pleasure.
*squeeze*
Lawl, how they kick him =D
They kick him by lawling? I’m sorry, sir, that makes no sense at all.
I would have taken one of those rope thingys. You know they’re just a layer of cloth around a metal chain.
I like how the other customer comes over and kicks him and says, “That’s for making me pee my pants!”
did he live?
…that makes a change, I guess.
Change we can’t believe in.
*hopes not*
No, he can’t.
I agree.
I want to give it a 10 for originality but I changed my mind.
check out this crazy german stuff: [http://www.nichtlustig.de Crazy Stuff Unlimited]
I actually recognize that URL. My German teacher has a desk calender of a comic series called “nicht lustig”.
So…is it clean?
Pretty. Some of the cartoons are pretty “lustig” actually.
That old man could jump.
He played one as well.
He still got it.
He also played Knick-knack.
Have you met his wife Patty Wack?
she sure gave that robber dog a bone!
I bet you he didn’t see that coming.
so, i got a hanes cotton commercial, in the middle of the video. in the middle, where commercials don’t belong. tv shows are 28 and something minutes, this video is 38 seconds…internet, you have gone too far…i’ll send you the way of my tv…now to find another source of free and relatively ad-free happiness.
Get ad-blocker. Or whatever it’s called.
Ad-Block Plus.
Clickie for those who don’t have it.
Why oh why don’t the failblog people *get it* and quit using the utterly stupid “dot org” guy at the end? They seem to be glued to that sound byte like gum on a flip flop — leaving the rest of us scrambling to stop the video before it gets to that steaming turd. It’s more evidence that these guys just got lucky with this site and don’t have any real idea of what they’re doing with their business model beyond trying to extend their luck with other similar (the same?) websites. Damn. I mean, damn.
DOT ORG!!!
GOT DORG?
ROT GOG?
CLICK TO VOTE!
Oh why don’t the trolls “get it” and stop complaining about a free site!? It’s more evidence that they are twits and have been lucky to have survived life as long as they have. Damn, I mean damn!
They love us, and we love them, and we want it. That’s why.
End.Of.Explanation.
♪ I love you, you love me.. ♫
Oh, wait, the earworm war was further ^^.
Sorry.
Sing along, kids!!
*runs Barney over in tank*
*peers from side of turret*
Did I just hit something?
Nothing to see here. Move along.
*snorkle!*
We must have gone to the same school of thought.
Run along, kids!!
THANK GOD!!!!!!
*ignites purple smear on ground with flamethrower*
Um, what was that BFF?
*throws BFF a ticker tape parade*
*salutes from top of tank as soldiers march in front*
*throws several grenades in direction of the remains of the purple creature*
*gives BFF a medal*
*wears medal with pride*
*as a final act, launches Barney’s body into space, with nuclear bomb*
*takes out telescope and watches*
Hey! That’s MY watch!!!
Have you been taking lessons from LCB?
Now his mind will REALLY be corrupted.
NOBODY takes lessons from LCB.
They have to pay for them.
*yoink!!*
*scarpers with LCB’s lessons*
You know, the aliens will see that as an act of aggression. We don’t want to piss them off.
on, off, on, off… heheheheee.
AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!
*beats Barney with baseball bat*
*laughs hysterically*
*facepalm*
Refresh fail.
*refreshens up*
What in the world? I didn’t know you had such aversion to that purple thing.
You could say that I hatehatehatehatehatehatehate Barney!
*starts to get wild-eyed again*
*takes deep breath to calm herself*
*offers Gracie cookies*
They’re really good! I got the recipe from Arthur.
Thank you.
*eats cookie*
*giggles*
Uh-oh.
*checks Gracie’s pupils*
Ummmm…..
*runs to the store to stock up on crunchy snack foods and doughnuts*
Geeze, I thought I was the only one who hated the “dot org” guy!
I figure someone’s teenage kid was recruited to produce that, and now it’s a family thing and they can’t bear to pull junior’s voice off the tag line.
Like Sarpent, I vote it FAIL.
Like most of the people here, I vote your comment FAIL.
agreed
*bangs gavil*
… What an odd fetish.
*runsawayrealquicklike*
This court is adjurned.
Damn bones.
Anyone else think “Mall Cop” with that scene?
♫Tell me that you’re alright,
Yeah everything is alright.
Oh please tell me that you’re alright,
Yeah everything is alright…♫
Are you sure?
♫Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I’m through with these pills that make me sit still.
“Are you feeling fine?”
Yes, I feel just fine…♫
*Pops in for a look-see*
*Squeezes failpeps*
*a quick squeeze-back from this failpep*
*peppers Marius and Judy with squeezes*
*seasons all with squeezes*
*squeezes red and blue failpeps*
Ooof! After all these squeezes, I might need some failpepto!
*snerk*
Now I know what to take if I ever have any of those spam cookies.
*ska-weeze!*
Hey Gracie!
A coworker just walked by as I was looking at a post of yours. She said goodnight to me by name, and I almost replied, “g’night Gracie!”
Oops.
I always knew Gracie put subliminal messages in her name.
That’s what makes them work better!
*SQUEEZE!!!*
*gives a hearty squeeze back to Marius*
Ooooh! A squeeze fest!
*runs down thread squeezing all friends.*
*throws in extra squeezes*
Thanks folks, I needed that. Now that I’ve vented I will return to work.
*vent-well-a-squeez’em*
So what’s the world record on a fail in terms of number of comments AND average comment length?
He is there for the tackle
crime stopper is an idiot…
what is the bigger crime ? robbing a bank or founding one?
*consults several large leather bound volumes. Takes glasses off, polishes them, puts them back on again. Dons wig. Clears throat*
The law is clear. Robbing banks is still illegal. Founding banks is still legal. Guilty. Seven years. Next!
Off to work I guess.
*pouts*
The girl who kicked the robber = WIN
I love how the rather proper looking lady in trousers gets a nice kick in at the end.
I was laughing at that too, her kick even looks rather dainty… like she gave him a polite kick
“Be vewy, vewy quiet!!!”
The lady getting the kick in at the end is priceless!!!
Ooh, it’s da noid! I used to love your commercials!
*squeeze*
I only heard of Da Noid I never saw the commercials
Then you’ve done a good job of Avoiding the Noid.
Hahahaha! The lady kicks the bandit at the end! Hahahaha!
weaponless perhaps?
I think this is what really happened:
The guy who has been identified as a crime fighter is the criminal’s accomplice. He was supposed to cover the door while the criminal in black stole the money. They met in jail and plotted this together. Unfortunately, the accomplice was in jail for something else than robbing banks: he’s a butt rapist.
While he was covering the entrance, he got a view of his accomplice’s butt and he couldn’t control himself. You can clearly see the first criminal’s butt sticking out of his pants. What butt rapist could resist that kind of butt?
Then you can see him hesitate as whether to take him from the side or from behind. He opts for behind.
When he jumps on him, he’s not trying to disarm him. Logic would be to grab and immobilize his hands. Instead he just attempts to push him to the floor.
Finally, their position at the end speaks for itself.
I think it’s just a stupid criminal choosing the wrong accomplice, and a butt rapist doing his butt rapist job of butt raping people.
(Whoever did not understand the above is a joke should probably consider taking drugs that will enhance their sense of humor. Inject directly in the head please)
troll!
*while 4daLulz looks away I eat their brain*
I’m here to tell you about trolls, kids! Trolls are nasty creatures that lurk in forums like the FailBlog. While they may have originally come from 4ch@n, they have managed to infiltrate good neighborhoods, like the FailBlog, and have started to take over. If you ever get caught in with a troll, it might lead to personal ruination, from, G0d forbid, being disliked on the interblag. So remember, kids, never accept an invitation to troll.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Teh interwebz is seriouz buisness!
This PSA brought to you by the Special Troll Defense squad. (STD)
Wait, WHAT?!
Should that be Special Troll Unified Defense Squad? (STUDS)
How about: Special Preemptive Offense Ranged Killers? (SPORK)
Wow! FailBlog is building up quite the list of committees… Let’s see here… We have…
1. The Zombie Committee (or Zombie Something, I’m not really sure what you guys call yourselves…)
2. The STUDS
3. Safety
4. The Failblog Emergency Response Services Team (F.E.R.S.T.)
Wow. Gotta love bureaucracy.
mannnnnn… I miss all the fun.
I love how the woman at the end of the video gets in a kick to the head.
She’s probably been waiting for an opportunity like that all her life.
That cracked me up, too. I bet she got a kick out of it. Literally.
Not a chance.
Haha ahe was the customer also.
I love the old lady at the end who has to add her “kick in the face” to the robber!! She showed him…
*That’s* old??!! *aghast* She looks around the same age as me.
And me! Sheesh! Kids these days, ya know?
The woman who kicked him could be charged with assault.
really? methinks you are wrong. she helped subdue someone who was committing a felony. she’ll get a medal. he’ll get 3 squares and all the soap for all the hot showers that he’ll want for the foreseeable future.
Karl go F_U_C_K yourself
Put me on the list of those who thought the lady giving him a little kick was funny in a lame sort of way.
dood did anyone see the lady at the end of this clip ! she kicked the robber HAHAHA
Really? I and everyone above you didn’t catch that!!!
What happened to this site? It was formerly great, but the last 4 pages are LAME.
Then add something to it. Let’s see your contribution.
Lol Kudos to the people who got a kick out of the lady that kicked the dude at the end. That made my night.
I stopped watch videos on this site because of the ads at the end of the videos. This site is starting to SUCK
Bahahaha, note the discreet kick from the bank lady in the end of the clip
“and stay down!”
LOVE the woman who gives him a kick at the end!
Na, that’s more as a “I aint afraid no more bitch”, im pretty sure she was quite histerical
Forget black men with hooded sweatshirts and masks, what you should really fear is elderly white people…did you see that karate kick at the end?
hahah yeah. old dudes have huge acorns. man o man
Yeah!! batman is in da house…and he’ back to kick ass!
omg! she kicks him in the face. nae luck son.
lol the kick at the end by the woman behind the counter XD
I find the woman kicking the guy at the end extremely disturbing and not funny.
did that woman really kick the guy while he was already downed by 2 ppl?
ok someone screenshot this and upload it please, it’s clearly a fail
I love the one lady that just kicks him.
haha! wtf are you people going on about? Did you see that bitch kick him? Ain’t that a B!
lmao he’s my hero umm he jumped even like spiderman and catched him and if you look closely @ :38 the woman hits the burglar trying to knock him? lol 0_0
Unbelievable .how that fat bitch kicks him – disgusting in fact, and unnecessary
Did anyone see that lady come up and kick him once? Hahaha
Hahaha, nice one
I hate the fat lady that kicks the robber though.. He just got owned by an old man, what’s the point in humiliating him further, and hurting him?
Who says wrestling is fake?
Which one was the bank robber?
wow, that guy is amazing, he also looked quite old
Ahahha, did you see that woman kick that guy?
I salute you sir! You are a true hero among us americans!