Now wait a cotton pickin second here, I thought phasers were either set to “stun” or “kill”. What’s “*”? Star? He see’s stars, so it’s stun? Splat? Make him go splat, so it’s kill?
Gotta love Google. When you type in “asterisks the gall bladder” it replies, did you mean “asterisks the gallbladder?” Y’know, just in case there is an exact match out there.
The hiragana characters on the package spell, “Neko Funjatta,” which is the title of a popular little song in Japan and means, “I stepped on the cat.” The “Neko Funjatta” song is sort of analogous “Chopsticks” for the piano.
Here are the first few lines of the ditty:
ねこふんじゃた ねこふんじゃった
Neko funjata, Neko funjatta
I stepped on the cat, I stepped on the cat
ねこふんじゃったーら
Neko funjatta-ra
When I stepped on the cat
とびだした!
Tobidashita!
It leaped away!
(Apparently the one in the fail didn’t leap very far.)
In NL there was a cat food commercial in the early 80s where a cat sang words to this tune. Later they added an annoying kid to it. The butchered version:
Actually, the line is ねこふんづけちゃったらひっかいた (When I stepped on the cat, it scratched me)
The rest of the song wouldn’t make any sense without that line
eg.
わるいねこめつめをきれ、やねをおりてひげをそれ (Goddamn cat I’ll cut off your claws. Get down off the roof, I’ll shave off your whiskers)
Actually, I once came across a cat with its guts hanging out and rushed it to the vet. It had been in a nasty fight with something that tried to eviscerate the poor thing. Surprisingly, the cat survived the surgery and recovered. Pushing cat guts back into cat… : ick :
I wish my cat story had such a happy ending. I saw a poor little kitty get it’s head run over in the parking lot of my apartment complex. It was horrifying! I still can’t get the !mage out of my head.
I know- my upbringing was strange, My mum took me to the Reaper Bahn at 7, and expected me to figure it all out myself after that!
My parents were naturists, so clothes never fitted into it really!
Agreed. Clicky for some Reeperbahn info. I used to work in two of the clubs listed (plus another bar; they left out many bars and clubs on that list!) and I used to live two streets away.
Hamburg St. Pauli forever!!!
So Arthur, in the states there is a brand of beer called, “St. Pauli girl.” It has been suggested that that is a actually a euphemism for “prostitute.” What is the real story?
I laughed out loud when I saw that beer, because
1. It’s brewed in Bremen and Bremen isn’t Hamburg.
2. The “St. Pauli girl” on the label wears a Dirndl, which is the traditional Bavarian dress and Hamburg certainly isn’t in Bavaria.
3. Safety.
Apart from that, it’s likely that in some rural southern German areas St. Pauli is a synonym for prostitution and hence they might understand St. Pauli girl as a synonym for hooker. But that’s neither a common saying nor true.
Oh, and to add the obvious: It’s likely that anyone who would sell, promote or order that “beer” here would get stoned to death. Not only because of the ridiculous and local patriotism-hurting mistakes, but also because it tastes like shit.
Reminds me of being in Southern California a few years ago and seeing a place called “42nd Street Bagels”. Now, NYC is famous for bagels, of course, but not anywhere near 42nd Street, which is (or was) the seedy part of town, shall we say. Surprise – the bagels were horrible.
Well, prostitution is a major thing going on there, but it’s not just that. Clubs, bars, musicals, theaters, restaurants, streetfights… It’s all there!
We kept asking why they would throw us out of their bedroom on a Saturday and Sunday morning, …..I guess dad suffered from nerves!
*tries not to think too much about that*
Both my sister and myself walked in on my parents. They said they were “playing horsey.” For years after that, that was the code for “sex” in our family.
*shudders*
*never looked at horses the same way afterwards*
I remember when I was little my mom used to wear those contraptions around the hip where there were strings to attach to panty hose. I always thought that was cool. I believe it was common to wear them then. Nowadays they are more geared to the boudoir.
*Throws pair of retro Jams, sunglasses, sandals, and largebottle of sunscreen into knapsack*
After the wet gray weather of the past week, somewhere warm & sunny sounds perfect.
Hey kids, wanna make your Playmobile city playset more realistic use these new add ons: road-kill kitty, homeless guy urinating in a phone booth, and violent crime scene, fun for all ages!
Benihana’s is about the show, not the food. Find a good authentic restaurant. It’s not bland, but it’s not fiery. It’s balanced and artfully presented.
We have a Japanese steak house here that’s similar to Benihana’s. The food’s better though, and you still get the entertainment from the chefs. We love it there!
Wasabi will clear your sinuses right on out, Leila.
(You can mix a pinch in a little spice dish with added soy sauce and dip, e.g., sushi pieces in it.)
Never heard of that fruit, but I consider that a warning.
The Surströmming ruined any kind of fish for about two or three months for me – and I love fish. Still, it was impossible to eat it, because the core of the Surströmming-stench is, of course, fishy.
I know – aren’t you anxiously awaiting someone posting that we ignorant people don’t understand the local customs somewhere, and that this is really a…
I dunno. Let’s find out….
*whips out FalseIdentityDetector™*
*points it at Leila’s name*
*first ‘Leila’ and last ‘♀’ light up purple*
Looks like those are the bad ones, Leila.
Many ways to distract cats referenced in this recent Onion article (perfectly safe – hell, safer than Failblog at this point).
ht tp://www.theonion.com/content/news/cat_congress_mired_in_sunbeam?utm_source=slate_rss_1
Aww, How can I resist that? I’ll probably regret this.
:ick: Why does Google have to put image results on top? It reminds me of H.R. Giger’s art.
I may finally understand the Failblog diet.
*covers Judy’s eyes*
Trust me, it’s not for a delicate smurf.
Ero Guro Nansensu, frequently shorted to Ero guro, (エログロ, ero-guro?) is a wasei-eigo term that describes a literary and artistic movement from 1920s and ’30s Japan.[1] Ero guro puts its focus on eroticism, sexual corruption and decadence.[1] This movement is often used incorrectly by western audiences to mean “gore”—depictions of horror, blood, and guts. In actuality the “grotesque” term implies malformed, unnatural or horrific.[1] While ero guro is a specific movement, many of its components can be found throughout Japanese history and culture. Items that are pornographic and bloody are not necessarily ero guro.
I don’t know whether to applaud you for showing that you can indeed read something on the internet, or just call you a moron for regurgitating wikipedia without even reformatting it. I guess I’ll do the both.
I worked for 3 years as a night attendant / veterinary health technician in my youth.
‘Twas wonderful – learned a lot about medicine, met lotsa cool critters, and had a place to live (inside the Veterinary Hospital) where I could play loud electric guitar all night long
I’ve always been allergic to cats – and I used to breed and show Abyssinians
Now we have 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a snake.
The worst allergy aggravation for me is the Pomeranian, surprisingly…
Reminds me of a song my kids used to sing based on the theme tune from the British TV series ‘Postman Pat’:
‘Postman Pat, Postman Pat,
Postman Pat ran over his cat
Blood and guts went flying
Postman Pat was crying
You never saw a cat as flat as that.’
Oh how we laughed..
That is not a children’s toy. It’s a collectible figurine for adults by Shintaro Kago. And trust me, Shintaro Kago is DEFINITELY NOT for children, nor for the easily impressed. He’s known for being a social satire artist.
Please check your facts before bashing something you don’t know.
So the cheap-looking materials, haphazard paint, and dime-store packaging with the drawing of the laughing child on it are supposed to be “social satire art”?
I’ll take “classic” Art–representations of beauty and meaningful messages. What appears to be a poorly-made plastic dead animal is crap IMHO.
That is the most disgusting, offensive piece of shit I have ever seen. Shame to Failblog for even posting this when I Can Has Cheezburger is the biggest part of this blog.
You can’t even put it behind a cut so that animal lovers don’t have to get upset by this?
ynow this is actually supposed to be like this its in that ripleys thing book and there is a whole siries of these roadkill toys like squirriles and rabbits
(pardon my spelling)
In Soviet luthierie string of violence makes cat gut.
*applauds the complexity*
*questions the complexity*
*gets a complex*
*moves into a duplex*
*is sucked into a vortex*
*dresses as the earl of Essex*
Puts on a coat made of Gore-tex
*Sets phaser to “*” and fires twice into previous post*
Now wait a cotton pickin second here, I thought phasers were either set to “stun” or “kill”. What’s “*”? Star? He see’s stars, so it’s stun? Splat? Make him go splat, so it’s kill?
Need. More. Coffee.
*asterisks the gall bladder*
Gotta love Google. When you type in “asterisks the gall bladder” it replies, did you mean “asterisks the gallbladder?” Y’know, just in case there is an exact match out there.
this is the actual reference:
ht tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterix_the_Gaul
There is a space between ht and tp just to let you know
Dear, MRN ♂!
The moment you posted this message here the exact match became a reality.
LOL….that’s great!
What happen?
Someone set up us the bomb…
what!
take off every zig!!!
*cooks with Pyrex*
*avoids spandex*
*nevertheless star treks*
*pretends to be a T-rex*
Rawr!
*gets mail from fed-ex*
*hates latex*
*never has sex with ex*
Dura lex, sed lex.
*hangs out with Superman and Lex*
*Goes to Cineplex*
*eats some tex-mex*
*has Dr. check his reflex(es)*
Why tex mex? How about wheat chex? Maybe eat like the aztecs?
*Consults haruspex*
oye… what’s next?
√√
*looks at my arm flex*
Cashes Fuzz’s √√
*Cashes in bank cheques*
*goes to tool box to find a 9/16 hex*
*does all the plumbing in his house with Pex*
*scratches head perplex(ed)*
*to read fine print, puts on specs*
wonders if there is a cat tax
Salivates as his pecks flex.
*Eats some Tex-Mex*
*pounds Roland with pre-used text*
*Rounds up the usual suspects*
*sends all the usual (female) suspects a sext*
*gets WN’s sext and inspects*
*considers writing in hex*
2a 57 72 69 74 65 73 20 69 6e 20 68 65 78 2a
(use a hex translator you lazy jackass)
For 50 points: *puts down an X*
*shakes fist*
Don’t you get me all vexed.
*squeezexex*
going out to halifax
kid gets a complex
*explodes you using Semtex*
*checks the cheque for chex and tex-mex*
marks the spot, does the x
I ride my bike while wearing spandex
‘Cause I have a racer’s complex.
*locks his mutex*
leaking, is her kotex
Ew!
cellphon + driving = wrex.
Atrayu’s horse’s name is Artex.
*is scared of Insects*
Masturbates as he fantasizes wild sex…
*enters the Matrix*
is perplex
*buys a shirt that’s unisex*
Tyrannasarus Rex?
(sorry)
Finds phone numbers with old-fashion rolodex.
Can’t find “dead cat” in the index
This thread is full of win. I lol’d
omg this is fantastic!
*finds a witch to cast a hex*
10×10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 is a Googolplex
the dead cat; it infects
Had an 80’s wrestler put him into a Suplex
Bought a house yesterday, it was a duplex
Mailed the deposit check via Fedex
For cyanide he looks, and then injects.
what, no sex?
*checks her timex*
give it to a mex tex
Sounds more like a “Confucius say…”
The hiragana characters on the package spell, “Neko Funjatta,” which is the title of a popular little song in Japan and means, “I stepped on the cat.” The “Neko Funjatta” song is sort of analogous “Chopsticks” for the piano.
Here are the first few lines of the ditty:
ねこふんじゃた ねこふんじゃった
Neko funjata, Neko funjatta
I stepped on the cat, I stepped on the cat
ねこふんじゃったーら
Neko funjatta-ra
When I stepped on the cat
とびだした!
Tobidashita!
It leaped away!
(Apparently the one in the fail didn’t leap very far.)
Sort of like “The Cat Came Back” kid’s song. Still not seeing the humor in the toy, though.
Yeah, it’s on a par with making a novelty toy of an exploded critter and labeling it “Pop Goes the Weasel”.
that’s a genius idea – i’d buy it
…
Here’s a 5 year-old playing “Neko Funjatta”:
Tempted to say “Play her off, keyboard cat”, but not able to do so without sounding mean.
Tempted to make a “Good-bye Kitty” joke, but not able to do so without risking Nightshayde showing up and kicking my ass with her ninja surfboard.
(^_^)
All this talk of kitties and japanese music has put a Shonen Knife worm in my ear.
Big, big, big cat! clicky
Drat! Can’t view YouTube at work. What is it, GS?
Big Electric Cat!!
youtube.com/watch?v=LqsFzp32QWg
Ahhhh! I dig the bass player!
if you said that she might step on keyboard cat!
In NL there was a cat food commercial in the early 80s where a cat sang words to this tune. Later they added an annoying kid to it. The butchered version:
OMG! It’s Ron Weasley!
踏んじゃった also means trampled on or trod on.
Actually, the line is ねこふんづけちゃったらひっかいた (When I stepped on the cat, it scratched me)
The rest of the song wouldn’t make any sense without that line
eg.
わるいねこめつめをきれ、やねをおりてひげをそれ (Goddamn cat I’ll cut off your claws. Get down off the roof, I’ll shave off your whiskers)
Eight lives left.
Seven if you count suffocation via plastic bag.
Six if you subtract the “cat in a microwave” version.
O hell no -.- for a cat lover this is BELOW fail
I’m a cat lover, and I find this freaking hilarious!
It’s the same as having gum colored like eyeballs for Halloween:P
I don’t, but that’s because my cat’s an idiot and we leave near a busy road.
I don’t find it funny either.
It’s not.
I find this an awful pic.
How long will it take the cat to die another 8 times – it wont survive long with its guts hanging out like that…
Won’t even keep you from freezing to death like the guts of a Tauntaun.
So, these poor animals do not have a gut feeling, do they?
Never expected a reply to a Star Wars reference from you, Leila Leila.
Accidenty!
*HeartySqueeze4MyMRN*
Awww, I’ve gone from nerdy to loved in 5 minutes!
When were you ever unloved, MRN?
Shucks, now I’m definitely all warm and glowy, which is a feeling I didn’t expect to have when this Fail picture came up.
Not this early at least?
I havent felt warm and glowy since I fell in that polluted lake near the nuclear factory…
We should probably get you examined.
*volunteers*
Your crendentials please Mr WN.
*gets out geiger counter*
*needle jumps up and down*
Yeah, it looks like you got … no, it looks like you’re okay … yup, you got some … no, you don’t …
Careful WIK, same thing happened to me you know.
How many lives do you have left now?
Have you seen the Tauntaun sleeping bags??? Just a little to ‘insert word here’ for my taste!
Demented?
reconstitute the link or google Tauntaun sleeping bag.
It comes w/ a lightsaber to open the belly with.
w ww.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/tauntaun.html
It may be a little gross, but I freakin love it. How creative are nerds?
*scowls @ Jimbo*
*squeeze anyway*
I think he’s talking about the Tauntaun sleeping bag, not the dead cat.
Oh…
!
*retracts scowl*
*takes Leila’s scowl and carefully places it in reserve*
Approved for destruction.
I was indeed referring to the sleeping bag.
*hugs Leila back*
Too ‘warm’?
Actually, I once came across a cat with its guts hanging out and rushed it to the vet. It had been in a nasty fight with something that tried to eviscerate the poor thing. Surprisingly, the cat survived the surgery and recovered. Pushing cat guts back into cat… : ick :
Looks like someone has good gut instincts.
Awww, well done you *gags*
& thank you for saving a life!
It’s a “YAY” and “OHGAWD” type story. I want to lean into the YAY part but can’t forget about OHGAWD!!!
Yeah, great and icky all at once. Full marks for your big heart & strong stomach AA!
Ditto!!!
I wish my cat story had such a happy ending. I saw a poor little kitty get it’s head run over in the parking lot of my apartment complex. It was horrifying! I still can’t get the !mage out of my head.
*squeeze*
*thinks of ickle fluffy kittens in a basket nowhere near a road*
Five if you take into account that the cat is covered with lead-based paint.
Whoever made this …I will have their guts for garters!
Um… ew?
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
My mum used to say that all the time….
I only found out what garters were at about 11!
Wow, I knew at 9 and I’m a guy.
I know- my upbringing was strange, My mum took me to the Reaper Bahn at 7, and expected me to figure it all out myself after that!
My parents were naturists, so clothes never fitted into it really!
What’s Reaper Bahn?
In Hamburg, used to be the hub for strip joints, don’t know what it is like now.
I know Parenting fail by my mum!
It’s Reeperbahn and it’s much more than stripers and hookers.
Candy Stripers?
Oops. +p
I kinda like the idea – unkess they are the 60 year old candy stripers.
Hehehe: Kess (Ger) = perky, cheeky; un- (Ger) = prefix for “not”.
unless they are the (unkess) 60 year old candy stripers.
Agreed. Clicky for some Reeperbahn info. I used to work in two of the clubs listed (plus another bar; they left out many bars and clubs on that list!) and I used to live two streets away.
Hamburg St. Pauli forever!!!
So Arthur, in the states there is a brand of beer called, “St. Pauli girl.” It has been suggested that that is a actually a euphemism for “prostitute.” What is the real story?
Hehehe – Brewski asked me the same thing!
I laughed out loud when I saw that beer, because
1. It’s brewed in Bremen and Bremen isn’t Hamburg.
2. The “St. Pauli girl” on the label wears a Dirndl, which is the traditional Bavarian dress and Hamburg certainly isn’t in Bavaria.
3. Safety.
Apart from that, it’s likely that in some rural southern German areas St. Pauli is a synonym for prostitution and hence they might understand St. Pauli girl as a synonym for hooker. But that’s neither a common saying nor true.
Oh, and to add the obvious: It’s likely that anyone who would sell, promote or order that “beer” here would get stoned to death. Not only because of the ridiculous and local patriotism-hurting mistakes, but also because it tastes like shit.
Reminds me of being in Southern California a few years ago and seeing a place called “42nd Street Bagels”. Now, NYC is famous for bagels, of course, but not anywhere near 42nd Street, which is (or was) the seedy part of town, shall we say. Surprise – the bagels were horrible.
heh. I received some friendly conversation from a pair of “St Pauli girls” on 42d Street a few years ago; they didn’t mention bagels.
*as requested, adds pee to Arthur’s earlier post*
Pllllbbt!
*squeeze*
*squeeze!*
It was the major thing that stood out to my 7 year old self!
(sorry for spelling booboo)
Well, prostitution is a major thing going on there, but it’s not just that. Clubs, bars, musicals, theaters, restaurants, streetfights… It’s all there!
It was the reason my parents took us there, for an edumacation!
1985, what a year!
Did they also take you to one of the clubs where people have sex on stage?
*nods*
*is traumatised*
*looks for bukkit*
Yeah, if anyone did it would be all over the Internet by now.
Whoa k@, that is a strange way to educate one’s kids!
We kept asking why they would throw us out of their bedroom on a Saturday and Sunday morning, …..I guess dad suffered from nerves!
*tries not to think too much about that*
*sits in corner rocking back and forth, mumbling “my parents don’t have sex” to self*
Saturday AND Sunday? Damn!
Oh I knew they were up to something, my mum was a screamer!
*shudders*
I walked in on my parents, the image has been blocked from my mind, but I remember they bought me a book explaining. *shudder*
OMG k@!!!!
*dunks k@ in a vat of mind bleach*
You need this. Trust me. Thankfully, I never saw anyone do the nasty IRL.
Both my sister and myself walked in on my parents. They said they were “playing horsey.” For years after that, that was the code for “sex” in our family.
*shudders*
*never looked at horses the same way afterwards*
Arthur, sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
*never walked in on parents doing it before*
*would have blocked out the memory anyway*
The Grim Reaper Barn. It’s where he keeps his scythe.
Is that the same as Dress Barn?
More like the Undress Barn.
*starts to undress*
Wait, wha?
*snap*
Another one for the album.
*quickly covers Ms B with blanket*
*snaps fingers*
Ms B! Ms B! Wake up! You’re sleep-stripping again!
Avoid the layaway plan.
I remember when I was little my mom used to wear those contraptions around the hip where there were strings to attach to panty hose. I always thought that was cool. I believe it was common to wear them then. Nowadays they are more geared to the boudoir.
If you are talking about garter belts, then surely you mean regular hose and not pantyhose.
Otherwise it’s a bit redundant, not to mention strange-looking.
LOL! I just had a twisted picture in my head where you walk around with guts for garters and flies and all other sorts of animals follow you around…
I know…I need help.
:ick:
Tell me about it.
*still trying to clear !mage from head*
It’s OK, you can tell us. Go ahead, spill your guts.
Okay…what you hear and see cannot be unheard nor unseen.
*whispers in MRN ears*
*opens trenchcoat and shows him*
*peeks*
*flashes GS a la Men In Black flashy thingie*
Great weather we are having today, yes?
*snaps pic on camera phone*
*confiscates camera phone*
Why do our little fantasies (well, mine anyway) always get interrupted?
Coitus interruptus?
Hey everybody! Come check this out!
*flashes Brewski a la Men In Black flashy thingie*
You will go to the bank, withdraw some money and take us all to an all expense paid vacation in the island of St. Croix.
…and *squeeze*
I ain’t playing with you, Leila. Did you ever flashy-thing me?
Um…no.
WOOOHOOOO!
*starts packing bags*
You won’t need much.
*packs 5 pairs of bikinis in a tote*
*Throws pair of retro Jams, sunglasses, sandals, and largebottle of sunscreen into knapsack*
After the wet gray weather of the past week, somewhere warm & sunny sounds perfect.
That kid in the corner needs some counseling.
It is a cartoon of the Worms in a microwave kid.
By the looks of things, Fluffy made a bigger mess on the carpet today.
awww *feelhappysqueeze*
*tickles Moomin*
*fears he has left the room*
*flyBySqueezesTheMoomin*
Cheer up Moomin – just look at the pretty red fairy!
*squeeze and sniff*
Here my child. You are too young to understand that grandpa died, but I think that this cute kitty toy should ease any pain you may feel.
See, it’s an educational toy.
Hey kids, wanna make your Playmobile city playset more realistic use these new add ons: road-kill kitty, homeless guy urinating in a phone booth, and violent crime scene, fun for all ages!
Wow! Does the pigeons have realist poop action?!
*realistic
It’s better than surrealist poop action, I’m sure.
F’realsies?
damn chinese people ~.~
Lovely! FAIL is an open invitation to all haters.
Sebasthole troll doesn’t even know what country it’s from.
Thought about that as well but I figured it wouldn’t make any difference.
So, changing the subject from trolls, I went to a lovely Japanese restaurant that was made to look like an 18th century Japanese village.
Where?
*I wonder if I like Japanese food?*
*loves Japanese food*
Lots of vegetarian choices!
The Japanese have really mastered the art of cuisine. So have the French. And Italians.
England and Norway, on the other hand…Lutefisk, anyone?
Went to Benihana (sp?) and I thought it was bland. Is it true of all Japanese food? I will spicy foods.
Benihana’s is about the show, not the food. Find a good authentic restaurant. It’s not bland, but it’s not fiery. It’s balanced and artfully presented.
*logs it in book under “hubby date night ideas”*
Behihana’s is awesome. very fun, very expensive.
We have a Japanese steak house here that’s similar to Benihana’s. The food’s better though, and you still get the entertainment from the chefs. We love it there!
Wasabi will clear your sinuses right on out, Leila.
(You can mix a pinch in a little spice dish with added soy sauce and dip, e.g., sushi pieces in it.)
Perhaps I should snort wasabi instead. I think it comes in powder form. I’ve been wanting to pick up a bad habit anyway.
Um…that’s been done…
*clickie*
All I can say is…
what a waste of good food… and I’m not even a fan of sushi…
Definitely try Thai food, then, as I mentioned somewhere else on this page.
Thai red curry……*drools on blog*
mmmm… yellow curry does it for me… hot as they’ll make it
I like gravlaks.
That (clicky) was the most disgusting thing I ever smelled. I didn’t dare to eat it.
So you won’t be going to the museum then?
?
Museum?
That’s what your clicky says, “On June 4th 2005, the first surströmming museum in the world was opened in Skeppsmalen”
Oops. Indeed, I wouldn’t visit that museum. You cannot imägine the stench. Seriously, you can’t.
While there is a Thai discussion going on nearby I’ll mention the stinkiest dessert I’ve ever eaten…durian.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian
Never heard of that fruit, but I consider that a warning.
The Surströmming ruined any kind of fish for about two or three months for me – and I love fish. Still, it was impossible to eat it, because the core of the Surströmming-stench is, of course, fishy.
Ohhhh- Wallace, the co creator of the theory of evolution, he was an awesome guy!
I was pretty convinced I wouldn’t like it when I got to the phrase, “fermented horse mackerel”.
I refuse to eat anything that can also be used to polish silver.
Did some one say tofu stir-fry with peanut sauce?
*mouth waters*
EEEeeeeeee!!!!! That sounds so yummy!!
*adds chili sauce*
You can get a spicy peanut sauce (more likely Thai than Japanese) if that’s the effect you’re looking for.
u mean japanese people
What in hell????
The driver of the car, ldo.
I know – aren’t you anxiously awaiting someone posting that we ignorant people don’t understand the local customs somewhere, and that this is really a…
My fingernails are down to nothing now…
*continues to bite nails*
*hands Leila Leila ♀♀ Stunt Nails™*
*hot glues StuntNails™*
*paints them bright red*
FABULOUS!!!!
♪Man, I feel like a woman♪
Can I keep them for a couple of weeks?
Hey what are you going to do with those bright red roofing nails?
Roofing…
… roofing nails? LGB would never do that to me.
Are you sure? She has a naughty side ya know? And the other side well it’s demented.
…and I likes me some demented!!
I can’t go to a wedding with roofing nails. Surely she has an explanation.
No, no, no. They’re not roofing nails. Honest. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you, you’re my favoritist pretty waterfall evar!
Aw, I knew you wouldn’t trick me like that. And you are my most favoritist blue thang ever!!!
*chases after Jenny*
*pinches her*
*runs off*
How do you pinch a can of yams?
With aplomb.
Carefully.
Bring a big pocketbook or a loose coat to the store.
I used a can opener, except I didn’t turn it. Pinch and let go.
Abso-freakin-lutely, my friend! Wear them in good health!
*looks at Leila’s name*
You gonna keep it like that?
Which one is the counterfeit? The right or left one?
I dunno. Let’s find out….
*whips out FalseIdentityDetector™*
*points it at Leila’s name*
*first ‘Leila’ and last ‘♀’ light up purple*
Looks like those are the bad ones, Leila.
ROFL!!!
*removes first Leila and last ♀*
*feels like her ol self again*
*squeezesLGB*
Thank you!!!
WHEW!!!
WN!!! *tumblesqueeze!*
WIK!!!!!!!
*somersaultleapsqueeeeeeeze*
*WNFromUnderTheDeskSqueeze*
*speechless (but happy) squeeeeeze*
*pinchysqueezyWNy*
*LGBticklylicklysqueeeeeeeeeeeze*

Hmmmm… I can still taste that tequila…
quick, boil rice dinner ready.
that is about the sickest piece of plastic that is supposed to be a “toy”
i have ever seen. looking at it makes my skin crawl…
This is not what I wanted to see when I opened up the site today D:
Poor kitty…
Ugh, I’m gutted
I can barely stomach this picture
Do you want someone to espleen it to you?
teh espleen asplode
You’ve gotta be kidneying.
If fuzz was kidneying, something was lost in the de-liver-y.
Oh… now is the cat out of the bag.
Now only if we could put this on ICHC and watch the hilarity ensue.
I would not wish this on our ICHC friends.
Why FB? WHYYYYY?????
When I first saw this fail I thought it might upset/anger of our kitty neighbors.
Hmmmm, how do we hide a fail from curious kitties?
Run over to their house and start stripping.
Stick with what’s worked in the past, I always say.
In that case I’ll go get my laser pointer. It always distracts my kitties.
You picked a laser pointer over having k@ strip? You really are an Engineer.
No, no, we’re not trying to distract me.
We would NEVER do… Look, is that a warp engine?
It is! And listen do you hear that, the crystal are out of alignment!
*storms off*
With Jenny standing there is looks like Mr. Scott has found the impulse drive.
Is that a phaser or is he happy to see her?
His beam is up!
Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful
*snorkles*
Many ways to distract cats referenced in this recent Onion article (perfectly safe – hell, safer than Failblog at this point).
ht tp://www.theonion.com/content/news/cat_congress_mired_in_sunbeam?utm_source=slate_rss_1
I say we send ICHC peeps a huge basket of goodies and ample supply of mind bleach.
Damage control.
Let’s not do any running over.
This is not even remotely the worst Japan toy. Just type in “Ero Guro” into your favorite search engine and prepare to WTF yourself into oblivion.
You’re welcome.
NO thank you!
Curiosity killed the cat.
And my lunch.
C’mon, Scotty, go see. For me? Please? *bats eyelashes fetchingly*
Aww, How can I resist that? I’ll probably regret this.
:ick: Why does Google have to put image results on top? It reminds me of H.R. Giger’s art.
I may finally understand the Failblog diet.
*covers Judy’s eyes*
Trust me, it’s not for a delicate smurf.
Ero Guro Nansensu, frequently shorted to Ero guro, (エログロ, ero-guro?) is a wasei-eigo term that describes a literary and artistic movement from 1920s and ’30s Japan.[1] Ero guro puts its focus on eroticism, sexual corruption and decadence.[1] This movement is often used incorrectly by western audiences to mean “gore”—depictions of horror, blood, and guts. In actuality the “grotesque” term implies malformed, unnatural or horrific.[1] While ero guro is a specific movement, many of its components can be found throughout Japanese history and culture. Items that are pornographic and bloody are not necessarily ero guro.
Thus WikiPedia
I don’t know whether to applaud you for showing that you can indeed read something on the internet, or just call you a moron for regurgitating wikipedia without even reformatting it. I guess I’ll do the both.
And a staple too. *cries*
I know, right? The horror!!!!!
It’s an “I want to be a veterinarian surgeon” toy. The staples are just as important as the needles and tread (needles sold separately).
*lends AA the letter “h”* I want it back later.
I would have loved to become a veterinarian but I didn’t think my heart could take it watching any animal suffer.
I worked for 3 years as a night attendant / veterinary health technician in my youth.
‘Twas wonderful – learned a lot about medicine, met lotsa cool critters, and had a place to live (inside the Veterinary Hospital) where I could play loud electric guitar all night long
ACK!! Break is over… laterz all!
*squeeze*
(Ahem) You can keep the “h”, Leila. Look at the packaging again.
My favourite part is the laughing child in the corner
He’s very happy with his mountainbike steering skills.
Dear Failblog,
Tell me the truth, does the voting process have anything to do with what is posted on your home page?
Regards,
Marius
*waits patiently*
*gets in line*
Is this the line for breakfast burritos?
Nah…this is the line to adopt cute adorable kittens.
*gets in line*
*remembers the hubby’s allergic*
*pouts*
I am allergic too to dogs and cats. Can’t live without them.
U2?
toto’s and tutu’s in a tote?
totally tantalizing!
And tremendously tasty!
but troublesomely trashy.
Even better if she were allergic to exactly 2 dogs.
… on Tuesdays.
… in certain neighborhoods …
Make that 5 and you already helped me find a solution. I am snorting wasabi going forward.
…in addition to chilis that is.
*hands Leila a remarkably hot & delicious bowl of kim-chee*
I will eat it as soon as you tell me what it is and most importantly how it was prepared.
*bring a notebook and pencil*
I’m allergic to cats and dogs, and I have 4 dogs and 3 cats. Horseradish helps.
I’ve always been allergic to cats – and I used to breed and show Abyssinians
Now we have 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a snake.
The worst allergy aggravation for me is the Pomeranian, surprisingly…
*gets into line*
(we’ve just started to check the local shelters for another)
*just adopted a little hellion named ‘Stinker’*
Heather beat me to it, but I was going to say that the funniest part about this is the kid in the corner of the package smiling at the dead cat.
UHm… it’s a roadkill gag. Who cares? Next someone will post fake vomit to the failblog citing “toy fail.”
pobre gatito
I hope that wasn’t a lolcat…..
I love cats and this toy is just disgusting…..
No guts, no glory?
*hangs guts through hole*
Hey you, Gut that out!
The Holy Guts will punish you for that one, Czuhc.
Oh, let’s not revisit that fail, shall we??
This is horrible. Simply horrible.
I don’t know what’s more FAIL… that this toy exists or that it’s so poorly made.
They should put these in kids meals at the road kill cafe (added by Mobile using Mippin)
Haha, best fail picture ever.
Reminds me of a song my kids used to sing based on the theme tune from the British TV series ‘Postman Pat’:
‘Postman Pat, Postman Pat,
Postman Pat ran over his cat
Blood and guts went flying
Postman Pat was crying
You never saw a cat as flat as that.’
Oh how we laughed..
My response is a combination of ‘awwwww’ and ‘umpgh’. I can’t stand to look at it again.
*pat.pat*
I feel your pain. *squeeze*
Woops; didn’t mean to turn to type the http bit there.
What did you mean to do, just out of curiosity.
OK, Aja, you’ve done it now – thankfully only a few minutes left before we move on.
…. DOT ORG.
Yeah and now I ruined it more by inadvertently embedding a youtube movie. Luckily there’s a new fail.
What? Comment #624541 was a reply to another post I made that has now mysteriously disappeared.
Where did my post go!?!?
I demand a refund!!!3*37!!
Japanese people are disgusting.
That was your revenge? Lame.
Well, what did I expect from a story by Alexandre Dumbass?
You can count on it being a turkey.
As long as you don’t ham it up I’m in.
Close inspection at those tire tracks lead me to believe the car is one made in Germany.
Hmmm…
I iz on the street plotting ur… *SMACK*
Damnit, Japan. Just… damnit.
I beg you!! Post the next fail … pleeeeeeease!!!!!!
I feel an air strike coming on …
whoever thought of this toy is going to hell.
and there will be cats there.
BIG cats.
LOTS of cats.
…just sayin.
damn! that ain’t funny anymore
That is not a children’s toy. It’s a collectible figurine for adults by Shintaro Kago. And trust me, Shintaro Kago is DEFINITELY NOT for children, nor for the easily impressed. He’s known for being a social satire artist.
Please check your facts before bashing something you don’t know.
Thank for your the clarification. It makes sense now
So the cheap-looking materials, haphazard paint, and dime-store packaging with the drawing of the laughing child on it are supposed to be “social satire art”?
I’ll take “classic” Art–representations of beauty and meaningful messages. What appears to be a poorly-made plastic dead animal is crap IMHO.
Mankind is so damn pathetic..
I can has catburger?
lawl
You have to remember that they eat cats over in Asian countries.. so this is basically like a plastic hamburger to them.
Oooooo nom kittehhh!! YES!
that isn’t true
they just eat dogs in a small part of china and the people there get despised by all the other chinese….
I want one… badly!
Actually I want 6 or 7 to stick in my car window and annoy catlovers where ever I go.
You’re disgusting.
What’s disgusting is that I used to have songbirds and other wildlife in my garden until cat owners moved in next door. Now I just have cat poo…
Thats what Jeffery Dalmer played with as a kid.
that toy is freaking awesome
Happy Tree Friends real version!!! OMG!
OMG why would a toy like that even exist? What world do they live in?? O_o .. I’m just speechless lol…
it is terrible that toys(?) like these are produced…
Should say win
dude…wtf?!
And soon there will be the roadkill bunny and roadkill deer.
MOMMY!!! I WANT 1!!!
MADE IN CHINA
No, this is not a fail. This is a win of the hghest order.
This needs removed. This is not funny at all.
You failed
Agreed. This is just gross, not to mention depressing.
Epic FAIL.
Where can I get me one of these?!
Could you hide this or something? Make so that people have to click on the link to see it?
Why -_-
Rorschach’s Journal October 1st, 2009
Looking around on FAILblog. Saw cat in small japanese toy ad with tire mark on burst stomach.
Agreed. That IS a road-kill cat. (*UGH!!!*)
I love how people go so off-topic on these threads and it’s not considered trolling, lol. anyway this toy is a win
It’s a toy made by the manga artist Shintaro Kago.
It’s supposed to be gorey.
Ugh, that is absolutely disgusting. I love cats.
That is the most disgusting, offensive piece of shit I have ever seen. Shame to Failblog for even posting this when I Can Has Cheezburger is the biggest part of this blog.
You can’t even put it behind a cut so that animal lovers don’t have to get upset by this?
heh heh cool
:’-( whoever made this is sick and twisted, professer happycat would be disapointed
The new Hara-Kitty Japanese Toy- It’s VERY innard-taining!
i had a white cat that got hit by a car…
this disturbs me greatly.
oh, and so does the little kid in the corner looking happy about this fail.
ROAD KILL YEAH!!!!
disturbingly sick
This may be the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot.
You’ve obviously never seen encyclopediadramatica’s “offended” page. I highly recommend never going there.
oh, come on peeple; you’ve never seen plastic poop, or fake barf? there’s not enough verisimilitude to make it actually nasty, anyway.
Not that the surprisingly high camp factor isn’t mega-creepy, but medoubts kiddies are attuned to this.
ahhhh chinese grocery stores and the strange foods youll find there
This is just a cheap copy of the roadkill toys
http://www.roadkilltoys.com/component/page,shop.browse/category_id,5/option,com_virtuemart/Itemid,80/
*blinks*
*bursts into tears*
*huddles in the corner*
label says ’smashed cat’ .
And it’s in JAPANESE, not Chinese.
Is it a toy or a candy?
*doesn’t get the context of writing hyper-text for a blog that runs on Sub-Text”
EVIL TOY IS EVIL >:U I hate that Shintaro Kago retard that made that. He’s evil and twisted.
ynow this is actually supposed to be like this its in that ripleys thing book and there is a whole siries of these roadkill toys like squirriles and rabbits
(pardon my spelling)
This toy is a tripple fail.
1)Makes roadkill look like “teh fun timez.”
2)The actual toy looks like a cat covered in minty Colgate jumping over a ketchup-coated brain.
3)Someone who actually lost a kitty to traffic will take offence.
Wow, That is jut so fail, I start to wonder if that’s a legal toy!
win, i hate cats.
that’s a toy? lol
i
am
disgusted