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You gotta love parents for bringing us into this world, but sometimes they fail hard and you wonder how did we ever come out alive and normal. In honor of us making it through childhood, here are some epic parenting fails for you Failers to enjoy.
Picture by: dunno source. Submitted by: Matt via Fail Uploader
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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Dad… too… much… blood… in… the… brain…
Filling it up for the raccoon
Hmm… this could get nasty
Have you seen the movie “black sheep”? How about “Hungry Racoon”? Coming soon…
My god! You stole my idea! OR MAYBE MY IDEA IS OLD!
*calls movie company and tell them to stop filming*
too late. they stopped filming once cameoman died.
When did he die?
after the birds got him
Well the dad looks white so maybe MJ is still with us?
Whut?
wut wut??
ohhh blach sheep!!! best movie everXD
and out…
my mom is so stuped she gets on my nerves
apple…tree…stuped
If I were that kid, I’d hang myself.
You’re supposed to make your kid A snack, not THE snack!
Nutricious!
The nutria (sometimes known colloquially as the “nutra-rat”), is a large, herbivorous, semiaquatic rodent and the only member of the family Myocastoridae. Originally native to temperate South America, it has since been introduced to North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa, primarily by fur ranchers. Although it is still valued for its fur in some regions, its destructive feeding and burrowing behaviors make this invasive species a pest throughout most of its range.
Nutria meat is lean and low in cholesterol. While there have been many attempts to establish markets for coypu meat, all documented cases have generally been unsuccessful.
but its a raccoon.
but i heard you’re like mudkip
too much info, dude.
Dude, this is a raccoon. Raccoons are not rodents, in fact they are closer to dogs and cats than any type of rodent and they are not aquatic at all. They are also native only to North America and I don’t think they have become an invasive species anywhere else, and are a major source of small game meat for people in the US who hunt for food. So in essence, what you wrote was completely irrelevant.
oh no
Oh, yes.
yoko!
If raccoons ate children, this very well could be a perfect Darwin nomination.
But don’t you read the Darwin Award rules? Children are exempt.
The dad would be the award winner or at least runner up because he is sparing the rest of the world from his cursed offspring.
Again, no. The kid is innocent in all this, and if any innocent bystanders are hurt, it’s disqualified. Also, there’s only a 50% chance the kid will grow up to do the same.
Unless the mother is giving the other child a face-to-face veiw of the shark tank.
they carry rabies and ringworm, both of which can be fatal.
So do dogs. What’s your point?
*points and laughs*
Don’t you know it’s not polite to get to the point.
well hell’s bells and feed me to a raccoon.
Jules is some kind of pointer.
Jules wouldn’t do that, he’s a saint (Bernard).
let’s shepherd these comments into pun row.
Schnauzer, I barely knew her.
Dogs are required by law to be vaccinated. Zoo animals aren’t because A) the effectiveness of the vaccine on various wild animals is unknown and B) because zoos and lawmakers foolishly assume that nobody would be stupid enough to dangle their child over the wall of a wild animal exhibit.
I think this is the dad from the previous fail?
….like taking crack from a baby
That is not their kid.
They just try to reduce the overpopulation
Modest Proposal win.
*makes check in logbook*
don’t see how this is a fail, if the father dropped the kids it would be.
For the sake of my faith in humanity i will assume that was a joke.
I’m with bitchtits, don’t see how this is a fail.
It’s obviously in a city, where the racoons are accustomed to humans. I used to feed wild racoons by hand when I was a kid, and never had one even hiss at me.. Do you city-folk think all racoons are vicious, rabid, and agressive toward humans?
I’m with you, too. I’ve fed wild raccoons by hand, as well. They were well-mannered and insisted on washing my children before they ate them.
Food prep and table manners cost nothing. It makes for a more pleasant dining experience.
snork!
Regardless, a wild animal should never be fed. Ever. And you never know the true temperment of an animal. I have encountered many, many, many people who have been bitten by wild animals (squirrels, raccoons) when feeding in a populated area, they assumed it was okay. It isn’t, and it’s illegal.
depends on where you live and how willing you are to take the wild aminal snack from my cold dead fingers.
“Don’t feed the Raccoons!”
“Feed the Squirrels!”
*gets bigger nut sack*
In some areas (rural upstate NY in the USA, for example) most racoons are rabid. They tend to be aggressive and irrational.
Sounds like my hubby’s ex.
*froths at mouth*
Twist the turnips!! Marmaduke! MARMADUKE!!!
*gnaws on own ankle*
This is NOT good.
Not good at all.
Rule of thumb around here (central IN), if you see it in the daylight, it’s probably rabid. They’re nocturnal, and being out in the daylight constitutes irrational behavior unless they’ve been driven from a nest.
You’re from my neck of the woods! I had one that actually tried to break into the front door during daylight… with 6 dogs and multiple cats in plain sight. I called the sheriff’s office to have them deal with it, and they just shoo-d it back into the woods. Not too bright Barney Fife.
Do not forget that they are usually ill-tempered. Despite what those saturday cartoons might show, they have a nasty attitude.
While you were lucky, feeding wild animals by hand is dangerous both for you and the animal.
Raccoons bite. Even hand-raised, tame raccoons sometimes bite. It’s just in their nature. They bite hard, too.
I totally agree that this is not a fial, rather a win.
Finally some parents who punish their snotty little brats instead of ignoring them. Or maybe this is just what I want to see, rather than what`s actually happening.
Probably as I would totally drop my children with the racoons if they`re being annoying
That raccoon was soooo asking for it!
I just wonder what the other racoon is thinking about
He’s masking his feelings.
he’s singing… yummy yummy yummy, I got a tasty snack in my tummy, gonna get me some more. …
sauerkraut?? Feeling blue?
not after I’ve had me some kiddy snacks… although the way the Sox have been playing… meh.
*feeds a smart child to sauerkraut*
That will increase your IQ.
.
Look at the bright side. They’ve just about clinched a playoff berth.
yes, the sox have the bright children but the yankees have the idiot.
He is wiping the tears from his eyes cause no one gave him a kid to play with.
…or giggling
Or rubbing his hands together thinking of a plan in how to steal a kid from the other raccoon.
i’d love to hear him explaining that to the zookeeper
Well… yes… we… erm… RUN!!!!!
Who was that masked varmint?
Don’t know Tonto?
The Lone Ranger Rick
The Lone Hurricane Matt
The Lone Lemon.
The father is teaching the raccoon how to do a pile driver wrestling move.
the raccoon is teaching the kid how to shake hands properly.
No he snot sauerkraut.
finger food?
Tarzan II
Raised by ‘coons
… lowered by his legs
This turns parenting on its head. “Behave or I’ll feed you to the raccoon.”
It appears the child is also turned on its head!
*squeeze*
*Tuesday morning squeeze*
Soft, subtle and strong.
Somebody stop that man…he appears to be using his child as a club!
*sprays red paint on the raccoon*
Fur is murder.
Indeed.
Fur is a trade.
“Parental Supervision” not all it’s cracked up to be.
This is how I’d do it. Raccoon’s are amazingly intelligent and playful critters. Were it not the wild streak and tendency towards rabies (in the wild), they’d be a great pet along the lines of a dog. You can even teach them to behave and do tricks!
*rolls over*
*sits up*
*shakes*
Now where is my small child to nom on?
he’s fist-pumping the raccoon out back.
… not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Um…ok. If you say so…
*pumps fist into the air*
fist-pumping is not to be confusing with fisting. not the same!
*stops fisting*
*tacklepouncesgranny*
*scorns granny*
*squeeze*
*squeeze!*
*scratches and wimpers in the corner*
raccoon fleas are tough!
flea fly flo flum
I smell the blood of… ummm…
hold on whilst I ask the raccoon.
Leave Michael ALONE!
*cries*
Friend of yours?
*is unsure if Brewski was joking*
I was referencing a video made about Brittany Spears… and applying it to Michael Jackson, because… you know, he hung his kid off of… a balcony… no? Not funny?
Oops. OK, I didn’t make the connection!
.
Good morning!
G’morning, Brewski! I hate to say it, but I have to leave for school in about 5 minutes…
My day starts early.
Hey Shadow!
Bye Shadow!
Yup…
*quick parting squeezes for Leila before he leaves because he hasn’t seen her in lykomigod FOREVER*
*squeezes everybody else so that they don’t feel left out*
See you next time … whenever that may be. *waves*
michael is communing with worms and will never again be alone… just sayin’
Whats up with all the parenting fails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we feeling guilty?
It’s my fault. On yesterday’s fail, I was talking about it being a miracle that anybody survives childhood. Failblog had to back up my premise.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Aw crap- I’ll get my coat!
Not all of them. If they did, they’d be stark, raving bonkers by now.
Hmm. On second thought, that might explain some of the fails that make it on the board, though.
Five minutes patience, my friend, and we’ll have a new fail.
Here, have a Westvleteren in the meantime.
*does the math: five minutes, one West…*
Here, have three Westvleteren.
What’s a Westvleteren?
What do you think?
htt p://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westvleteren_Brewery
The issue here is not really what enclosure the father chose to hold his child head first over, or the possible rabid/angry reaction of the contents of the enclosure.
It is the sheer stupidity of holding a child upside down over concrete that is the issue here.
*fends off rabid racoon, using broom handle*
But the child is properly clothed for cold weather. Look at that cute little hat on his head. Don’t the parents get credit for that at least?
I am sorry miss, but your credit had been denied.
What?
*cancels Egyptian kittens and Yorkie puppy orders*
There has to be some kind of mistake.
I am going to need you to fill out this form, in triplicate;
Pee in this cup
And go behind that curtain a get undressed.
*hands Leila a hospital gowned*
We are going to need
to geta physical to reestablish you credit available.yeah… and mom’s right there with the taser should the raccoon suddenly get frisky.
Oops…
*pulls 6yr old in from moving truck window*
Yes, holding a child over the concrete is WRONG!
“Daddy, where’s my hand gone?”
sonny, where’s my sausage gone?
there it is!
now its gone
there it is!
now its gone
Don’t cry, I was hiding it in the raccoon
Sick sick sick man you are grannycatflap LOL.
Pick and Pay, the new Asian restaurant.
Serving child fed raccoon meat.
I’ve heard that in Japan they hire young ladies to make the sushi because their hands tend to be cooler. Maybe this follows the same logic?
They would love me then. My hands (and feet) are always frozen.
Wow! If the kid get rabies, he can genuinely blame his parents for that.
wrongly assumes the raccoon has rabies. …
What the heck? So, let’s put the kid in there to find out???????
omg my mom has mush up there
Oh. Please. This is hardly a fail. It’s not even very dangerous. If that raccoon were not accustomed to human interaction it wouldn’t even be there. It’s going to grab whatever the kid hands it and run back a couple of feet with its treasure.
It may not be teaching the kid about nature in the best manner but you people need to get a grip.
It’s only a fail if they are actually the parents.
this is a WIN!! if my dad ever did that to me i would have declared him the best dad in the world!!
nothing better than feeding a raccoon with your own hands..
upside down is even nicer..he’ll never forget that magic moment
jap – it´s definitly a win for the kid!
“daddy – do you want your life becoming a living HELL?? then get my ass down there!” XD
Proof again the liberals have degrated all aspects of our society.
And where is the fail in this pic? You fail for calling this a fail.
buba® finds that smart that people are givin fresh human meat to racoons for free. It must be more tasty than dead human meat.
I wanna feed a raccoon. Then it might want to be my friend because it knows that I’ll be nice to it. :3 I want a raccoon friend.
and now, the lions
well it’s certainly cheaper then daycare
“Don’t be shy, eat the little boy!”
Kudos to whoever gets that quote
Is the “153 Failures in Communication”-link weird, or is it supposed to just lead to this page?
Totally fail!
“Hello everybody!”
n1 !!!!
ahhh yes the great nation of canada!
omg …….
Dangerous fail indeed.
{That is one way of feeding fish to the seals (or something more or less like it).}