Church Store Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
there’s no glory in posting this fail
I did see a few young boys come walking out…
Theres no way that building is religious in ANY way with that name…
Just what are you inferring sir?
That just because you are on your knees, doesn’t mean you are praying.
The “center” is located in Kinghorn, Fife UK
worst. fail. ever. could have only been worse if it was a children’s center. arg….
THANKYOU!
I thought it was in Kirkcaldy, but you sire are correct!
*tips hat*
Lmao haha. Good one.
more like limping
They must have enjoyed quite the ‘rousing sermon in there.
there was a standing ovation from all the vicars. They got so excited, they all tried to crowd the one hole
It was a “sermon on-the-mount” perhaps?
Gloryhole FTW! For The Women…
What? What about the potatoes?
There is so much glory in posting this but not sure its a fail, between Televangelists and Priests. The only things worse than bullscatting preachers lying to the sheep are the damn sheep for believing them. It’s a shame they will never know how wrong they are when they cease to exist.
Of course if its the other way around…
Lol got a point there, if we’re wrong we’ll never know so you lose.
If your wrong you’ll either burn in hell for eternity or get to sit next to some guy saying I told you so for eternity so you lose again…
Lol either way, a win for me.
Of course both of you could be wrong. Might be that all the mass-murdering psychos and dead soldiers end up in Valhalla with the Glorious Dead, and we all wind up in Viking hell with… er… well, Hel actually.
Or we could wind up in Aztek Mictlan, or Mayan Xibalba, or the Celtic Summerland, so many different afterlives to choose from.
Hey when it comes down to god he never fail!!! …
*grins* No, he just pretends he meant to do that all along, and everybody believes him ’cause he’s God. Clearly it couldn’t have been *his* fault that he had to wipe out half of creation in the etch-a-sketch apocalypse of the giant flood.
The Cross was merely a setback!
Whatever you do, don’t fill it in!
don’t sit in the confession “box” either!
Aisle be the judge of that!
I bet the maids hands and knees are sore from all that…
cleaning.
I believe its called a fluffer
nutters?
Are you mad? We can’t have a big hole like that in church!
*fills hole with potato*
*Climbs up to finish the curtains off*
fill it in and let it begone!
come and go eh?
It seems a bit filthy in there…
block your nose and close your eyes and wait for a big surprise
Lol… he means his penis.
Well, with a little lube.. it could be anything (within certain parameters)
POTATO!
what does going to this church and tight rope walking have in common?
DON”T….. LOOK ……..DOWN!
The duct tape in the confession booth has been recently replaced.
Tighter than a duct-taped ass?
*whinces..*
I see no glory in that hole!
Look closer
JINXX!!!
Not to be cocky, but what can be done with a hole that small?
*hem
mmmm mm mmmm
k@
k@
k@!!!!!
*squeeze*
Fank oooo!
*squeeze*
Great minds think alike!
Hey, your anniversary is right around the corner.
I know- why has time gone so darned fast!
Are you looking forward to the wedding yet?
(I have got hubby a limited edition print – do you think that will count as OK for paper!)
I do believe it does.
What is the print about?
Ah, the wedding. Honestly, I am not looking forward to it because I am so stressed about it. My daughter and I are joined at the hip so what she feels I feel and vice versa. I want it to be over with right this minute. Heck, it’s a roller coaster of emotions, I will change my mind shortly I am sure.
*massivecomfortsqueeze*
Just enjoy it as much as you can, and then find someone to punch later!
(the print is by one of my hubbys favourite artists, and is a tattoo design)
Thank you! I am trying to enjoy it. It has been fun working on so many aspects of it.
The print is a thoughtful and creative gift from you.
Look closer Jules, erm…J-bank.
Waitaminnit…. Looking at the comments, it seems that either a lot of people don’t know what a glory hole is, or I’m mistaken.
Can you draw us a picture?
*passes crayons*
*waits intently*
*Pulls out …*
*A chalk board*
*draws a picture of a man, a woman, and a wall with a hole.*
Well,
He stands here *draws arrow*
She kneels here *draws arrow*
He does this *draws motions lines*
She does this *draws motions lines*
Any questions?
MOOOOOOOOOOMMY!!!!!!
*flees crying*
I can see my job here is done.
Not quite — why does that woman have a beard?
*sits down again*
While when a man loves a woman.
Well not so much a woman, but women in general and wants be like them, he…
Gets (&^*@#^ removed and adds a #*(&^$@(
and then (*&^#*&^@)
then &^$*#(@*&^
and then you have clam chowder!
… Wait that’s not right.
What were we talking about again?
Mussels!
*giggle*
Ah, yes mussels, they are like clams, but are not… bearded?
that can’t be right
like on Ricky Gervais’ Fame? (clickie)
Looking at the comments it seems that EVERYBODY has a good idea.
you are mistaken.
sit up and sing… glory glory
avoid the room that’s… gory gory!
lest you be… sorry sorry!
that’s the end of this… story story!
Originally, a Glory Hole was a cupboard under the stairs or a bottom draw somewhere in which you kept odds and ends that weren’t particularly useful or attractive enough to display, but reminded you of happier times. Typically it’d contain your wedding dress (if you were a woman) old school trophies and other momentos. The modern meaning has somewhat muddied this alternative meaning, which is a shame in my opinion.
-Ash
what’s behind door number 2? the organ?
The “Sorry Hole” confessional?
you can sin and then be punished all in one place?
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh…
faster and faster until he cometh
*gets struck by lightning*
Nobody f*cks with the Jesus.
especially the plastic jesus on my dashboard.
what about the baby Jesus butt plug?
Where do you get one of those?
It’s for a friend.
Is this replacing the potato?
It’s in addition to…according to my friend.
*pulls out the brain bleach*
clickie
Erm…um…I can’t.
Why oh why do I ever even consider clicking on granny’s links?
*headdesk*
I knew it!
CLICKIES ARE EVIL!!!!
Strictly speaking, it’s work-safe.
WWJD?
Maybe at your work, but the clickie is evil here…
You think you’ve heard of everything, and then GCF edumacates you some more….
Interestingly, the first thing that phrase brought to my mind was a book of that title, by an amusing author (go ahead and click, it’s just amazon)
F*ckin’ Quintana… that creep can roll, man.
Apparently the Coens were wrong.
More like “The Dirty Hole”…
Sodom & Goometomorrah?
vicars gonna come and make sure its real cleeeeean!
Ewww…
*applies another dose of brain bleach*
This whole fail should be doused with a tanker full of brain bleach!
*flees in terror*
Leila’s flees are crying and now Brewski’s are in terror…will the insanity ever end??????
Such is the aftermath of GCF. Only one person could evoke such responses. It always seems that the fails on his shift are especially well-suited to his particular proclivities….
I’d like to think I had a hand in it; maybe a couple of fingers in, at the least.
Just don’t try to clap in it.
I hear you get a bit of an echo if you do.
Then it’s too wide.
the chamber of secrets?
Who is the hole’s creator?
Glory?
the holy spirit?
the moldy spirit
*listens at the door*
Seems it was created by “O. God.”
yoko o. no.
when it comes to divine intervention, sometimes its better not knowing where the help came from
Hail Satin!
maybe Santa at the chimney pipe again!
Must be Anglican or United, lol…
are those square hole denominations?
My cherry lips have often kiss’d thy stones… I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all.
William Shakespear
Speaking of kissing…why do you guys insist on slobbering? Cut it out!
Because we know you secretly love it
no. no, I do not.
Kissing what, exactly?
Lips.
No. Not those!!!
The ones on your head.
Which head?
*facepalm*
Not going to this church. Nu-uh!
is that really worth burning in hell for all eternity?
come on, it won’t take a minute
Speak for yourself.
I have a lot of penance to do.
haha! Out foul demons
Ummm. Win!
Oh God! Oh God, that is so good! Cometh forth thy blessing onto all of us. We prostrate ourselves before thee in adulation.
mmmmmmkay
You know there had to be ONE…
Let’s hope it’s not a trinity.
I first read that as “prostate ourselves in adulteration”.
I like your version better, Brewski.
Turn your head to the right and cough!
Love the “Hail Satin” Although I prefer silk
Awww, it’s my bed time. *squeezes for all*
*glory squeeze!*
divine intervention can be painful
That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
I thought that was, “what doesn’t kill us, raises our insurance premiums”
HAHAHAHA!!!!
Aw…
… I realized it’s a true statement.
*Sigh*
It is incredibly hard to keep down the urge to do stupid or dangerous things.
Well at least the hole is at the Centre.
Ah, the silver lining, you found it.
No. The Centre is skewed. It’s to the right.
I’m waiting to see their burning bush.
Just don’t ask me to go in through the tradesman’s entrance.
1st commandment: Thou shall douse the flames on thine burning bush
Too forward?
No, I can get behind that.
You Dawg!!!
Well I am not a missionary.
♪ Don’t mess with a misssionary man ♫
*takes extra ’s’ out of above post*
*bends it into an ‘o’*
*stands back and admires handywork*
Wow!
*click! click!*
“missoionary man”?
Even after reading all the comments, I still don’t understand why this is a fail.
Looks like we’ve done our jobs! Good work, Fail Peeps!
*pats own back*
*high fives Leila Leila and LGB*Nice work girls.
Now I feel whole….oh glory!
Come into the dark whole.
black hole?
Hey, we’re equal opportunity fail0rz here…
For what it’s worth, in a glass working shop, a glory hole is the place in the furnace where you put glass to melt it before you work it.
Yes but this ain’t no glass blowing shop (PUN INTENDED) and I don’t think anyone would stick their appendage into a firing furnace.
Takes second look at fail….hmmm guess is it a glass shop? Still FAIL.
*glazes ceramic madonna*
*throws in glory hole*
*runs out through door number two*
in the UK in the 1950’s, the ‘glory hole’ was that space under the stairs where you shoved everything you wanted out of sight.
erm, on second thoughts, maybe we still need the brain bleach ….
That’s still what a glory hole is in the UK today, at least in my world. And I’m quite happy to keep it that way. Pass the brain bleach.
Ahhh, the Vicar’s old retreat…
Theres alot of glory in the hole.
I would SO attend there…. I’d be on my knees every time the doors were open.
Our homeless shelter here in Juneau is called The Glory Hole LOL
Door number two is where you go if you want to stick your tongue through an opening in the wall to receive communion.
…
Someone should drill a hole in the door
HA!! I’ve been here! It’s in a small village in Scotland, can’t remember the name but it’s near Edinburgh. Sadly The Glory Hole was closed at the time and I could not enter.
Is dat sum Helvetica? Freakin’ lazy church sign guys (at least it’s not Times).
I just laughed for five straight minutes at that. I needed it.
WAT!
meh – that place sucks…
Hole-y, hole-y, hole-y
Ho-sannah in the HIGHEST!!!
AMEN!!!
Yes, it’s a homeless shelter, and they don’t allow bear meat.
(I am not *even* making this up.)
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002342056_webmeat20.html
somehow, you just know they’re selling Jesus Juice in the back.
Little boys pants: half-off!
Win!
I take it from all the sniggering that “glory hole” has other connotations in North America. To us innocent UK folk it is just an old cupboard or a place under the bed where you keep your junk! (Or am I moving among too-polite people over here?) [joke]
Another one for the believers.
It’s where all the priests bring their choir boys for a little one-on-one.
Does this make them Preistitutes?
My elderly neighbor invited me to go there with him. He said he’d take me to the glory hole and we’d have a great time. Oh no…