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meh
ooohhh touching.
THIS IS WIN
PIGGY BANK+SEX TOY
It’s not his butt
do you mean ‘her’?
Which is the FAIL here? Store owner’s belief in unicorns, Santa Clause and god, or the placement of the coin slot?
Is that the clause that states no believing in Santa after the age of 6?
Or may that Jesus loves him more then you?
I believe it’s a “her”, what with that slit and all.
you just win the thread.
it is a her… and jesus loves her.
I think the fail is definitely the store owner’s delusion!
I think the fail is the comments from people who are so sure that they know everything in the universe.
Yeah but there is too much of that to be posted here…
I think the fail is the comment from someone who got offended on a humour site.
Too true
redefining the meaning & placement of “coin slot”
Jesus loves piggy slots
*money dropping from the slot*
Insert me!
Pork me, please!
oh ma gash
A penny for your thoughts (please insert in my hole).
a nickle for brainstorming
A dime for extrapolating.
This is wrong on so many levels.
On the “Jesus loves your pennies” level? Or on the “shove a coin up my butt” level?
What about the “Jesus loves me best because I lie on my back and spread” level? And here all these other suckers are just getting on their knees!!
That’s quite the phrase they’ve coined.
cross out one of the ns and the secnd e andthats what you have herre
Butt? That looks like a panooch slot there.
Why? Is shoving round pieces of metal into the back of the pig right on so many levels?
Money coming out of the wazzu!
A$$ money
Praise the Lord and Pass the Piggy!
My girlfriend is a piggy bank? I have been putting other things in there. I do put alot of money into her though – just not there.
Let me see if I follow your logic here:
You see a bank with a slot in piggy’s genital region and for humo(u)r’s sake conclude that slots in this region are for inserting money on the actual animal.
You then generalize that this must be true for all animals, and therefore for your girlfriend, too, ’cause she’s just a slot to you.
And…she’s not just any slot, she’s an expensive slot.
One of these days you will teller how you feel.
Not ATM, he’s happy as he is.
You can bank on it.
Piggy Wank
(I hate myself so much right now)
There, there. That joke would have cum out sooner or later.
I am just not my spunky self today!
I am just not my s punky self today!
*sulks*
I can’t con dem this type of talk on here!
I’ll just clench my lips and stop talking.
I have Labialed myself a pervert now haven’t I?
I c*nt understand what you’re asking.
Oh, use you’re head. It’s not that hard to understand.
(*gasp!* Did fluffy just type “you’re”?)
*steals the ‘ and e before anyone else notices it* What are you talking about fluffy?
*squeeze*
Well that was close, its just the ins-and-outs of life.
What was close? I wonder how widespread the pun runs will be today?
*whistles innocently while walking away*
*wipes sweat off of head*
Nothing…just nothing
*panics a little*
(This is a PIG problem)
Do we need to worry about swine flu when making a deposit?
It isn’t that, I ham worried about something else.
If the pig clenches its lips, it won’t make any more money.
story of my life
BFF making cum jokes?! What has the world come to?!
It’s this blog! My mind is rotting away at so many phallic fails!
(Hello, Loz! How have you been?)
I always knew this place would be your undoing, chum
You used to be so sweet and innocent!
I’ve seen better days, but I’m doing alright. What about you? Enjoying being back at school?
*Ahem*
Where have you been young missy?
We have all missed you dearly.
who are you? changing your identity to confuse old friends?!
Same old emperor I have always been, just added some titles.
why has everyone gone crazy with the titles? i’m so behind with the times
Nah, the titles thing is played. You are behind on the fails, though. —>
I was and will be a can again shortly. Going under the name Someone Nicer than Jenny… for awhile but sometimes change it up – almost always w/ Jenny in the title somehow.
I am super excited to see some old faces on here today!!!
i have not changed one thing about my account yet.
p.s. my bro drooled at the pig!
Ah, when I used to be the squeaky-clean new boy! Those were the Golden days of failblog, when wit and wisdom were at their highest. Oh, to be that innocent little lad again!
Good, good. In these troubled times, the most important thing is to keep your head high. I’m not feeling too well, actually. I got struck down with flu (not the swine or avian kind) over the weekend, and I had to miss an expedition to the battlefields of France! Grrrr! I was so looking forward to that trip! Ah, well. Musn’t grumble.
Loz! Our little BFF is growing up. I’m glad you found a slot in your schedule for Failblog!
i have multiple slots
but usually they’re… occupied. ahem.
how are you and your smokin’ hot mistress?
I’m doing well, thanks. Hot stuff is in rare form, too….she’ll be around later. She might be branding grades on
studentspapers at the moment.wait is this fail because the pig has an ass?
Sorry to disappoint you, but that isn’t an ass.
Who ever said ‘pecunia non olet’ should think again.
I think it’s ‘Piggybanks non olet’.
It’s a money loindering scheme.
Chop chop, put the money in the wash!
Use freshly minted coins.
You pork, you pay.
As long as she doesn’t sw
hine afterwards. That’s the worst.Just don’t make a pig deal out of it.
Sow exactly do you do that?
You just don’t ham it up.
Squeal have to concentrate really hard not to, though.
Well that’s swine with me.
Weird…I replied to Fluffy here and the comment did not post nor did a moderated comment stub appear in its place. When I tried to post it a second time I received a duplicate message warning.
Poor AA. *squeeze*
*squeeze back at ya*
I’m so glad you can join in again!
That happened to me all afternoon yesterday. I thought it was because of the clickie in my name, but maybe there’s a glitch in the site.
It’s happened to me a bit lately. I just thought I was making a pig of myself with too many comments.
I hate it when you have a glitch that you just can’t reach.
Like inside the ear, Jules?
Those I can reach. More like a glitch betwwen the ears that tends to get me.
*takes Jules’s extra ‘w’ and scratches him between the ears with it*
My comment was exactly two characters. I’ll try it again…maybe this additional text will allow it to post.
Bah, it wasn’t what I was going for anyway!
*gets serious and goes back to work*
:[
You poke a pig, you pay! :[
You jolt a giraffe, you jig! :/
Joltin’ giraffes, Batman!
you fail .-.
*shields Ms B’s eyes* it will be ok. I’ll get the eye and brain bleach.
Make it a double!
…or triple?
A quarter of the comments here are useless.
Some things never change, Ms B.
I just wish it made cents.
It’s like pounding your head on a wall.
Yen will this end?
Sometime after dinar…
If I had a nickle for every time I have heard that…
Can you bleach most of the comments here while you’re at it?
*pours the bleach into the powerwasher* Where should I begin?
You know it’s only going to get worse, right?
*is surprised there haven’t been more BaconLube™ comments*
*gasp* I forgot all about BaconLube™ in the time I’ve been gone!
you… WHAT????
*pblttt*
You did that on purpose!
This is definately a ‘win’. After all, while only a small minority of customers dig pottery pigs, everyone knows someone or other who’d find this hilarious. I’d be surprised if this isn’t their best seller lol!
*puts check mark in log book*
isn’t that book full yet!?
*looks over Judy’s shoulder*
*adds another $0.002 to the log book*
go get some “coffee” and hook up with laconejita she lives at 4112 at west wood in nevada
The piggy bank was at a store in Myrtle Beach, SC, called “Just Horsin’ Around” if you’d like to go buy it.
In den Arsch, in den Arsch, in den Arsch…
Mmmmmm, Brazilian Pork!
*snerk* I could wax poetic on this subject.
piggy banks that will scar your children for life (added by Mobile using Mippin)
How? You don’t think children know animals have anuses?
What kind of weird puritanical beliefs do you have that would cause you to think putting a coin in a plastic pig’s bum will scar them for life? I’ll bet most children would think it is funny.
Gustav, look at where the slot is in the pig. Anatomically, that’s not an anus. Putting round metal objects into a pigs uterus on the otherhand may have reprecussions on children
It’s a change purse.
Yes, that part may feel like silk, but you’re supposed to use the ear.
Were you born without a sense of humo(u)r or do you work at it?
I’m voting for works at it.
*boops Avis’ nose*
I agree to that agreeing.
iagree to the agreeing of the agreeing
I agree to the agreeing of the agreeing of the
agreeing
I agree to the agreeing of the agreeing of the
agreeing of the agreeing
………………..
Sounds reasonable to me!
*squeezes in spite of the “boop”*
In addition, when you insert coins in this piggy-bank’s slot, the blissful expression on the pig’s face would be slightly disturbing, funny but disturbing
Bringing home the bacon
They should make a boy piggy bank also.
How exactly would you make a deposit?
Nevermind.. I don’t want to know…
No amount of Baconlube™ is going to help with that.
*snork*
Maybe you need a shoe horn or two?
Even when he measures all the way from A to Z?
Killerwit’s not accruing any interest from you?
This little piggy cried all the way home cause his perception of K@tcf has been shattered. (see above thread)
I thought she was a good fairy but she is a bad fairy bad girl LOL.
This is going on my website…it is hilarious!
I am glad, come on back ya hear awesomeness.
I want to know where I can get one of these because I might actually save some money if I can laugh while doing it!
There is a little piggy on the bottom right of the photo. Can anyone figure out where it’s slot is?
It looks like it’s standing on its front legs. My guess is this little piggy has an ax wound too.
Anyone for ham?
well…I’m up for some bacon…anyone want some?
We should go for it, whole hog.
ok
*good idea squeeze*
I love pig roasts, but you are always left over with so much meat.
Invite some extra people.
Just don’t forget to give the brains to ZA.
That’s swine with me. I can make sandwiches for lunch the next day.
Will you be bacon something too?
I don’t know. I don’t want to hog all the attention that Jules and Ms. B so rightly deserve.
Just chop it up for use in other recipes.
I understand but with a pig having between 100 – 200 lbs of meat that is a lot of meat to consume/ store.
Make sure you invite a LOT of people! The population of a small midwestern town ought to do it.
Am I the only one who thought this was a porky pun run?
*never saw the movie*
*goes to corner and silently prays for the quick arrival of next Fail*
How’s this, I made a variation on the rustic tomato tart! Brie and watercress with green apples, plus a bit of caramelized onion cheddar. No pork products to be found!
Stop that, Avis! You’re making me drool.
*looks around for Shamwow™*
*wipes chin with back of sleeve instead*
LGB, fair warning, I post about food often. My name is a link to my blog, where I talk about food. Food is kinda a big deal for me. It’s a wonder I don’t weigh 400 pounds!
And she does have some killer recipes too!
That’s cool, Avis. I am a major foodie (and wine-o), also, and I love to cook. I’ll have to check out your blog….
Just make sure to invite the Spratt’s. They’ll lick the platter clean for you!
My tingling spidey sense tells me that this fail is going to bring out one or more morons and that one or more of the following will occur:
1. *FOOM*ing
2. *THWACK*ing
3. *SAFETY*ing
4. *MALLET*ing
5. *HALIBUT*ing
6. *EMAIL*ing the PTB
There’s already one hate comment up there….
7. *PROFIT*ing
8. *SQUEEZE*ing
What has been porcine cannot be unporcine.
There might be a *GLOWER*ing too!
Just no more *LUBE*ing huh…..my tummy cannae take it captain!
*hands k@ fizzing glass of Alka-Seltzer™*
I mixed this for you. Don’t make that face! Just pinch your nose and make all gone and you’ll feel better soon … or barf … one of the two. But you’ll definitely feel better either way….
*tosses shamwow @ k@ and runs*
*peels and noms banana*
*throws banana peel on the floor in front of Leila*
*goes to squeeze Leila*
*slips and falls on tail in front of Leila and LGB*
Ouch! my pride…
You alright aikiwaza! that was one banana slip!
I thought prides were lions?
So that explains my lack of pride…
The failpeeps are your pride. (Do try not to swallow us.)
*I must not nom my failfriends, I must not nom my failfriends*
*averts eyes*
*hands LGB’s clothing to Leila*
*averts eyes after a full glance*
*peeks*
*giggles*
9.*Prowel*ing
10.*Swine*ing
Are these new?
*offers Leila some chocolate cake*
There’s more in the breakroom!
CAKE!!!!! Now you are talking my language.
*goes to breakroom and noms chocolate cake*
*ThankYouSqueezesAvis*
*squeeze*
Happy to help!
It’s how swine flu begun and the economy crashed as a result.
Did he dime?
How could you???
It’s time for change Ms B.
(How about a sex change? Somehow, I don’t think that pig is a boy.)
*looks for the mackerel shaped pillow*
*Squeezes Ms B instead*
Wha? LCB, the Admiral and Dragon can do it, but I can’t?
*squeeze*
I am afraid of Dragon and Admiral, and I never saw LCB do it or she would get a
mackerel pillowsqueeze too.Let’s see, what would it take to make people afraid of me? Hmmm…
I know! I’ll threaten to keep my clothes on! That’s it! I’m serious. :[
Oh the humanity!
I blame Brewski for this (though he doesn’t seem to be around… am I missing something?)
And Ms. B, you could never be scary because you are so cute.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!….
That was hilarious, Ms B!
*checks for Judy*
*bows*
*plays the s….*
Oh, I can’t do it.
*hands the Admiral a potato*
There, now you can.
*runsaway*
that piggy looks funny
No.
No, it doesn’t.
Yes.
Yes, it does.
Doesn’t matter, piggy is his favorite…..
♫♪ Jesus loves the little piggies,
all the little piggies of the world,
chops or bacon, baked or broiled,
roasted, toasted, fried in oil,
Jesus loves the little piggies of the world!
Every way is delicious!
In its own way… ♫♪
Love the song ,lunch time Judy!
I love it too, yum.
*AHEM*
Attention all FP regulars (and irregulars). A most candid conversation took place yesterday between a few of the FPs (dilly, Qwaz, fuzz, MRN, and GS, in particular) after the majority of us had left the Poice Chase Fail. I really think it’s a poignant tribute to this wonderful community that we have all helped to build, and some of the most honest and brilliant commentary by these wonderful bloggers I’ve seen here yet. If you haven’t already, do go check it out when you get the chance. It will be well worth your time.
P.S. Scroll down to just about the end of the page. (The comments that are started by dilly.)
*THAT IS ALL*
I recall reading that. Unfortunately it was after the conversation was done, so I felt that posting would muddle the flow of it.
Is there a yoga instructor in the house?
Yes, that position is the “pork barrell”….
*carefully cuts out all filled in pages of logbook*
*places them in expandable ring binder*
*decorates with stickers*
*adds stack of fresh paper*
I think this may last us a bit longer!
So what is this log book that you speak of? It must have developed while I was away.
We mark off the usual comments and, on occasion, the usual suspects.
>> EARWORM NOTICE <<
I have had Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" stuck in my head for several days.
Just figgered you'd all wanna know.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled FAILing…
*is interested but feigns disinterest*
*looks in various other directions*
*dances away…*
*dances too*
*slips on banana peel and hits WhoaNellie*
*patiently waits for GS to come round with the Thursday haiku*
*readies bathing suit and heels*
*twiddles thumbs*
*softly sings ‘It’s A Small World’ in WN’s ear*
*manages to catch tune LGB is humming*
*screams in horror at earworm*
*starts to hum “A Whole New World” in retaliation*
Oh yeah. Well I have had ‘God bless America’ in my head for days!
Hmmm…I bet I know why you’re his favorite!
You’re not The Vicar, are you?
Eeep!
AVIS off topic…I do believe I followed your blog a couple of years ago because you wrote about food. And I remeber “little bird”.
I just wish I could remember how I found you then, I’m sure it must have been a link from some message board food thread that you posted on.
Anywho I thought it was a interesting coincidence.
I never posted on a message board, but I’ve posted here many times about food and my blog, that might be it. Or one of the other sites I go to. I used to comment on ICHC a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago under “Little Bird”, that might be it too.
Mr. Potato Head?
…was one of his unfortunate “victims”, yes.
this instantly reminded me of a skit from SNL….
coin slot!
Jesus loves me this I know – cause the piggies told me so.
*snork*
*snork snork*
This is like double fail
This looks like a double fail to me!
Strange place for a coin slot…
Click my name for a funny Fail / Win stuffed bear pic.
*faints*
Ack. We have a spammer.
Emilyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
*gets anti-spammer carrot ready*
*slips ‘gun’ between ‘anti-spammer’ and ‘carrot’*
If I had that piggy bank I would feel kinda weird every time I put a penny in it and saw that face xD
even bigger fail, Jesus was a Jew, no pork allowed!!
forgive me, I have sinned, and will likely do so again!
Jesus said eat what you want. Tell you what though: it would be funny if the shop were in Mecca….
good one all………………
It’s a girL!!!!
This literally got me out of depression. That’s how much.
Rule34. Absolutely no exceptions.
Piggy in the middle, I’d say.
Well its harder to get your money back out.
Cuuuuuuute!
=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
I didnt notice the pig first aha,
I rolfed at the ” Jesus loves you but i’m his favourite”
Look at his face! he enjoys each deposit
This store is in my little city. That piggy bank is still there (shockingly enough).
I could go buy it right now…I won’t, though, because…I don’t want it.
I must purchase (or purloin) this pulchritudinous porcine, post haste!
Does anyone know where I can buy one?
Additional fail: This is a Christian shop.
my brother has that piggy bank! I swear.
I’d tap dat!
I’d tap that!