Submitted by Brett G
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Cheezburger Company Blog
who was that masc’d fail?
Zorro the masked failman?
Zorro has nothing to do with it
celebran apparently doesn’t make you regular
Activia?
WTF is up with the obnoxious ads? First, Fail Blog went back on their work and inserted the “FAILBLOG…dotorg!” tag after each video, now they’re forcing annoying ads that can’t be stopped without closing the window. Fail Blog FAIL.
*honk honk!*
Watch where you’re going! Road-hog.
*Someone gets out of car and walks past*
I’ve got your Backus, Ms B.
John Warner Backus (December 3, 1924 – March 17, 2007) was an American computer scientist. He directed the team that invented the first widely used high-level programming language (FORTRAN) and was the inventor of the Backus-Naur form (BNF), the almost universally used notation to define formal language syntax. He also did research in function-level programming and helped to popularize it.
James Gilmore Backus (February 25, 1913 – July 3, 1989) was a radio, television, film actor, character actor, and voice actor. Among his most famous roles are the voice of “Mr. Magoo,” … James Dean’s father in Rebel Without a Cause and “Thurston Howell, III” on the 1960s hit sitcom Gilligan’s Island.
Jeff Backus
Detroit Lions
Height: 6-5 Weight: 305 Age: 32
Born: 9/21/1977 Midland , MI
College: Michigan
Experience: 9th season
High School: Norcross HS [GA]
Manny Backus is an expert at helping day traders make hundreds or thousands of dollars within just the first hour of the trading day.
Henny Backus (March 21, 1911 – December 9, 2004) was a Broadway showgirl in the 1930s, where she performed with Earl Carroll’s Vanities. Born Henrietta Kaye in Philadelphia, she was the wife of actor and comedian Jim Backus.
Bacchus – inspirer of ritual madness, ecstasy, and intoxication.
…WOOHOO!
*pops the champagne cork*
Hey! I could certainly use a drink right now!
*offers up glass*
*takes glass*
*gives bottle to Suzie*
*passes glass down line*
*hands new bottle to DW*
*takes empty glass*
*fills it with Cabo for WN*
*fills one for herself as well*
Thank you, thank you, thank you very much…
Anytime, sweets!
*squeezesmooch*
Bacchus was the god of wine and inspired madness, and a major figure of Greek mythology. He represents not only the intoxicating power of wine, but also its social and beneficial influences. The geographical origins of his cult were unknown, but almost all myths depicted him as having “foreign” (i.e. non-Greek) origins. He was also known as Bacchus and the frenzy he induces, bakcheia. He is the patron deity of agriculture and the theatre. He was also known as the Liberator (Eleutherios), freeing one from one’s normal self, by madness, ecstasy, or wine. The divine mission of Bacchus was to mingle the music of the aulos and to bring an end to care and worry.
GMTADW!
Green Mullets Today All Dyed Wigs?
Get My Tie And Dark Waistcoat
Good Mornin’ Townie, A Day’s Wastin’!
Got More Than A Donkey Wants.
Ritual and/or inspired madness? That can have no place here, surely?
THIS. IS. RITUAL. AND/OR. INSPIRED. MADNESS!!
Really, I thought it was Sparta… Must’ve taken a wrong turning where all those half naked oiled men were..
OooooOOoooooh! Half naked oiled men!
*drools*
* Counts *
299 Hmm … we just need one more.
Albuquerque?
This thread has taken a sinister turn.
Yes, I know. It Bugs me too.
‘Oh, Magoo! You’ve done it again!’
Heb je een wens, vraag het de VARA!
*klaagt steen en been over de obscure referentie*
Hee!
Obscuur? Ik snap er helemaal niets van…
Duizend bommen en granaten!
Mmm. bommengranaten martinis.
I remember this.
Hey…who put that there?
You did silly STS.
Well I am off to sleep the sleep of gods I say. The sun waits to rise for me, and ye I shall not squander the time.
And that’s why I no longer ride mascots.
And here I thought it was because the suits got smelly after a while.
They only got sweaty after I was done with them
*orders mass cots for the corporal*
*orders mask oughts for fuzz*
*orders ma scouts for little girl blue*
*orders masque’d hots for EVERYBODY … it’s a costume party!!*
*makes hot masques and costumes for the party*
Hellooooooo, Failpeeps!
*jumps up and down with excitement*
Mr Cuddles is back!!! Mr Cuddles is back!!!
Sorry. You’ve probably been back for a while, but I was on vacation last week & have been sick for days.
Hiya NightShayde. Have some of this tomato soup before Dragon gets here.
Ooooh – yes, please.
*blows on soup so as to not burn herself*
*sluuuuuuurp*
Mmm. That’s good soup. Thanks, AA!
*squeeze*
I’ve only been back for a short time, but I’m finally back!
*squeeze*
Did work relax, or are you on in a sneaky manner?
Work relaxed. My guess is that there was an ad or something on the website for a while that was deemed inappropriate and that’s what was blocking the site.
Hiya, DW!
*SQUEEZE*
I’m getting hungry. I’m leaning toward chicken caesar salad — but you’re making soup sound quite appealing.
My version has chicken in it, with northern white beans and lots of veggies. VERY healthy for you. Should knock that bug right out of your system.
(We can even mix some of the Admiral’s tomato soup into it to make it yummier.
)
I can haz recipe? Pretty please?
I can’t wait until the weather cools down a bit. I make a mean cream of mushroom & potato soup. Mmmm.
I’ll send you mine if you send me yours!
*droooooooooool*
Deal. I’ll have to dig it up later though — gotta eat soon.
You now have an e-mail (with a link which I hope works).
I’m off to eat — may or may not be back on in a while. I think I may feel a nap coming on.
Rest up, NS. *squeeze*
*SQUEEZE*
How did you find out that FB was unblocked? Did you never give up trying?
*squeeze* I kept trying in the beginning, but I was afraid if I kept going to a blocked site, I would get in trouble. Then after you messaged me, I thought I’d give it another shot, and sure enough, it was unblocked!
I didn’t message you, I summoned you!
And lo, the Summoner… summoned for some Cuddles to brighten our lives.
As the Summoner summons, so shall we all benefit.
Oooh. It’s profound because it’s true.
Didn’t you know when you post anyone’s name, they show up? (That’s why I use the word “apparently” all the time
)
Say czuhc, you haven’t swallowed those tablets have you?
Am not sure.
*checks haircolor*
You’re lucky: I don’t see any bubbles.
You’re right!
*goes to bed*
*takes off false beard*
It…it’s not real?!
And I’m actually Gumby!
*bends BFF’s arm into embarrassing position*
*stands back, admiring affect*
Ow! Ow! Untangle me at once!
*tries to wave hands in protest*
*almost breaks arm*
*bends arm back into original position*
*bends other arm into embarrassing position*
*giggles*
Aw, man. RIP.
F B dot O R G/2009/01/14/hunting-fail-3/#comment-244119
It’s not so boring if you have it with a grilled cheese sandwich.
Pfft. That could be said of anything. :p
But, it is the quintessential pairing…!
*ponders*
*ponders*
*ponders some more*
You know, I totally didn’t get the tomato soup reference until this post, or a little afterward. Good one! I think I feel a chuckle coming on …
*snork*
*snorkroffle*
*jumps up and down with excitement*
More great Failpeeps!! This is bringing me so much hope!
orkySmileyGrin:
Ha ha, that was supposed to be DorkySmileyGrin
*stamps Jenny’s post with FAIL stamp*
Hee!
Hey! I like her orky Smiley Grin!
*gentle boop*
And I like your new avatar!
*squeeze*
*squeezes all failpeeps*
*gives an Orky Smiley Grin*
Orkney smiles? Sounds like just my type!
*Orkney smiley Grin*
Judy — I saw a store display of Smurf merchandise when I was on vacation & thought of you.
You feeling better?
*squeezes*
I am! Thank you. I’m still a bit sick (and home from work), but I woke up feeling oodles better.
Very glad to hear that!
Smurf merchandise? Little white pants and such?
*snork*
Please order me one of those smurfy hats! I think it would look lovely with my new dress.
Awww, that’s nice!
OMG! did he died??
Not this shit again. Seriously dude?
*snaps Kohku’s neck*
*marks a check in the log
bookbinder*Wow, that’s a first!
*salutes corporal cuddles*
*awards him the “Order of FailBlog”*
*squeeze* Hey BFF!
*squeezes back*
Hello, Cuddles! How have you been?
I’ve been great! How have you been? I’ve missed you guys. I’m so happy to be back.
Good, good. The blog has gone through a lot of changes while you’ve been away, cuddles!
Yes, it’s all about roleplaying hornychat now…
…and I have a false beard!
*pulls beard*
oooooooooooh, sexy!!
‘Tis an ever-evolving community. But some things never change. For instance…
HEY BFF!! I just heard that the universe is going to implode!! OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOOOOOOO??
RUN!!! RUN OUT OF THE ROOM, LIKE THIS!!!!
*runs out of room, screaming and shouting, waving troll mallet in hand*
*grins happily*
…See?
*hands DW a shot o’ BaconLube™, fresh from the Vicar*
*Spear squeeze*
Wow, just got a bit over emphatic there.
Long time to see. You and loz for that matter.
How is everything?
Ummm spear squeeze??? Never mind…
*turns around and giggles*
Meanie.
*Plbbt*
*poke*
*squeeze*
I so needed this today!
*giggles*
*squeeze, squeeze Jenny*
*pass*
*Jennysqueeze, squeeze, pass*
Don’t let this opportunity pass! Free Jennysqueezes available now!!
Free? Heck, I woulda paid!
*squeezes Jenny*
squeeze!
*SQUEEZES >EVERY<body*
Ooh, a squeezefest!
*squeezes all around*
*squeeze* I’m doing great! Ecstatic to be back!
How are you doing Emperor?
Doing fairly well, at the age of 21 I am proud to say I am starting a web development company and we already have our first clients. (I was hoping I would be able to join my partner in the company to meet with the clients in person in Vancouver but momma Emp vetoed that idea. I could have visited Chan too. *Sigh*) So things are looking pretty good, just sad I have regular work tonight.
I envy your achievement! At the age of 21 I have a degree but no job or direction in life. woo!
*gasp* Loz! *squeeze*
*squeeze!* i’ve missed my daily dose of cuddles
It’s my little Lozenge!!
*BIG SQUEEZE!*
It’s like a fail-reunion. *sniffoos*
*HUGE SQUEEZE* for momma dragon
it’s not a fail reunion, it’s a win reunion!
*gingerly enters the Fail reunion hall and hangs around at the back a bit*
*drinks much FailPunch*
♪ Reunited, and it feels so good… ♪
*doesn’t tell Jon that she spiked the Failpunch with dragon-grog*
Nicetoseeya, Jon! Punch?
*hides giggles behind hand*
…….S
………w
…….A
………y
…….S
What did you say????
*had drunk the failpunch earlier*
*walks around tipsily*
I knew there wash shomething funny with that punsh. Whash did you put in that punsh, Dr-
*falls on face*
Um…nuffin.
*hides grin in punch cup*
*is passed out on the floor from too much
FailPunchDragon grog*I’m here investigating a severe outbreak of Wine-flu. I don’t suppose any of you would know anything about this
*stares meaningfully at DW*
*passes out*
*lands on Failpile of previously passed out posters*
*polishes halo*
*sips demurely*
Can I have a shot of that demurely, please?
Hey you’re right, just a sip of demurely and that unsightly pile of passed out Failpeeps could be any blurry, brightly coloured object!
I’M NOT PASSED OUT, I’M UNDEAD! DO YOU MIND??
Oh, you mean them. Sorry.
Don’t, it fell in my lap. Well actually I had the idea and the motive to do it along with the drive. It just came to me meeting someone who already had done it for a few friends and had a client lined up through a family connection. What is your degree in? What school? I haven’t finished my degree yet, I am still in Humber finishing up my last year of Video Game and Computer Programming.
Had made websites for his friends was what he did. I accidentally my full description.
I have a BSc in Geography, Archaeology and Palaeoecology. Sadly it’s not a course that really lends itself to any specific kind of employment after. I’m just considering a postgrad now, to delay worrying about a job!
a friend of mine designs video game characters for Ubisoft!
Video game programming sounds awesome
*memorizes “palaeoecology” for future games of scrabble*
*squeezes Loz*
That is cool! They are opening a ubisoft “warehouse” in Toronto finally. 800 jobs are being created. I am on the coding side.
*is not too good at art*
Um loz where are you studying this though?
Oh, a career path could be going to exotic locations on your company’s payroll to dig up fossils and other finds. Then to discover how these people must of lived and what their ecosystem was like. Oh the place I had in mind was somewhere near Mexico perhaps. I here the Mayans are an interesting people. (Just a possible career path that I would beg you to bring me along for ;P ).
*cries @ “of”*
I fail, must have… I thought I was over that… guess not.
*Adds quotation marks around must have to show knowledge of my fail*
I feel like I miscommunicated the acknowledgement.
If I ever get a placement on a dig in Mexico I will let you know
We can drink coronas and play catch with rare fossils.
Just be careful where you stick that spear. You could at least buy me a drink first.
*Knows this can be misconstrued further but leaves it anyways*
(Sorry about the innuendo machines that will break as a result of this.)
I can see what’s happening
*what*
And they don’t have a clue
*who*
Verb! That’s what’s happening! (School house rock clickie)
Sweet, that took me back. Thanks!
*feels like a 10 year old undead creature*
Lion King reference FTW!
*looks around for Starfish*
*facepalm*
I am mortified at how long it took me to get this.
♪ I unpacked “frustrating” first.
Reached in and found the word “worst”.
Then I picked “soggy” and
Next I picked “foggy” and
Then I was ready to tell them my tale.
‘Cause I’d unpacked my adjectives…♫
If it makes you feel any better it still is whooshing over my head.
I am going to google the phrase.
*Rawr* My pride seams to have left me. Timon save meeeee!
*sneaks in and removes Kohku’s brain and saves it for ZA*
*pours toxic waste on kohku’s remains*
*reanimates kohku’s body*
*consumes his brain in front of him*
*consumes him next*
*leaves nothing behind*
*hands ZA Shamwow*
Looks like you got a little on your chin there, ZA.
Now what kind of a zombie would I be if I started using napkins?
You’re right. You are quite fetching with bits of brains clinging to your face.
*throws Shamwow into drawer*
*starts crying*
I just looked at your avatar up close LGB.
*curls into fetal position and hides eyes*
There, there, Jenny.
*pat.pat*
This is by Ray Caesar. He is a surrealist digital artist. I prefer edgy art, and he’s glot edgy down to a fine science.
(You can clickie my name for his website. Keep a Shamwow handy, though.)
A perfect example of how art can be beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Thanks for the exposure.
The kind the employs relatives of the-short-fuzzy-ends-of-fibers- on-the-surface-of-cloth.
the = that … but it’s all relative
the = that … but it’s all relative
“Out to rock the globe while it’s still here to rock
Don’t punch girls, and we don’t punch a clock
Gotta go, gotta go, see you later by the cat
And you can’t beat that with a bat!
You can get with this, or you can get with that
You can get with this, or you can get with that
I think you’ll get with this, for this is where it’s at…”
nahh, im just kidding,because of this shit^^
No no no. Did he dash?
Did he have the deads?
Did he doink?
If he wants to boink, there’s a pig ready and waiting…
*points
Seriously Failblog?
As I was saying…
*points to previous fail*
I ain’t buyin’ no poke in a pig!!
He is serious! :[
*tickles*
It’s too late in the day to be so serious!
Yes, why so :[ ?!
oinker bankers shouldn’t be boinkers!
:[ !!
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A PIG GET IN THE BANK
Well what ya know a new sport…
Avoid the fresking moving thing looks like a van, why was there a van on the running track? mascot racing
Place ur bets everyone fails 1/12
Yayyy!!! Ooops…
Google Translate (Spanish):
celebran con golpe = celebrated with stroke (!?)
TMI, what’s the coding for the teenie tiny font?
*bats eyelashes and puts on a big smile*
“pre” between the > and the <
P.S. It’s a little messy, but you can see the code employed for any text on an FB webpage by looking under “View Page Source” (in Firefox).
*squeeze* Thank you! My work computer has Internet Explorer.
By the way, BFF:
♪Babe. I gotchoo, Babe. I gotchoo, Babe….♫
*runsawayrealfast*
AAAAAAAH!!! Well, then, this means war!
*blasts “My heart will go on” out of several woofers*
*shoves crumpled tissue pieces in each ear*
*gets old-fashioned, cabinet-style hi-fi from attic*
*turns volume to maximum*
*blasts “Wind Beneath My Wings*
*pumps truck-loads of cotton wool in ears*
*attaches several megaphones to stereo*
*puts on “Lollipop”*
*dons poice firing range hearing protection*
*hooks up several Peavey amps to hi-fi*
*blasts “You Light Up My Life”*
*attempts to contruct sound-proof room*
*fails*
*blasts “Sir Duke” over tannoy system*
*walks by pile of contruction materials*
*snorks*
*goes to electronics store and purchases “Was 3000″ speakers*
*blasts “I Honestly Love You”*
*watches as BFF’s earwax melt*
*chats with Hotblack Desiato*
*hires Disaster Area to play*
www . hhgproject . org/entries/disasterarea.html
* Chews gum with mouth open *
“But … these, right … these go up to eleven.”
>pre< testing one 2 3hree
(it needs to be … <pre> )
What the he11 is all those words mean under view source??????????????????? its a whole page of aliens talking run I tell you run they are in our heads as we speak…….can’t breath…fading fast,,
It’s called HTML, 4 eagles. The basis of the Internet.
Oh ok wow that was close.
Nah, Zalgo’s coming for him.
Quit being mean to me dilettante. LOL
This reminds me, have a visit here:
failpeeps.wordpress.com/
*feels pity for poor Corp. Cuddles*
*wishes no one would have to suffer from Internet Exploder*
ZA!!! Welcome to the reunion!
If you want to use angle brackets without having them interpreted use the less than < lt and gt > codes. See source.
*salutes serviceably*
Oooh! Who can resist such a cyootie!
Left caret – “pre” – right caret.
Oops! Fuzz beat me to it. Can I still have a squeeze???
*bats eyelashes and puts on a big smile*
*sneaks up behind Judy*
SURPRISE SQUEEZE!
*squeezes Judy*
*EEP!
You gave me a start, bff!
A running head start! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOOOO!
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Hey, why am I running?
Because you can.
Well, that and the giant drooling sloth-like bat behind you.
Don’t talk about BFF like that!
*runsawaywithevenmorequickness*
hops on Jon’s back to get away quicker*
*runsawaywithlessquicknessnowthankstojudy*
Oh well, this will help me train for my expedition to the New Forest next week. Anyone else heard of the Duke of Edinburgh’s award?
It’s a UK thing, where we all get medals from the racist old man who happens to have married our Queen.
*speaks between spit and drool*
My school is obsessed with the thing, and frequently announce Duke of Edinburgh expeditions. I wouldn’t touch the things with a long stick, but that’s my opinion. Good luck, Jon. You’re gonna need it.
*continues drooling and flying after Judy*
*snork*
It’s actually fun, providing you can walk, carry things, and have fun, which I’m sure you could BFF.
This is my Silver expedition, and I’m going to Norway next summer for my Gold.
*stops drooling again*
Well, I’m not so sure. The school also forced our year to go on a DoE exped twice last year: the first time, I almost drowned in mud, the second, I almost had my foot cut off from an infected ingrown toenail.
I’ll think about it.
*flies away*
*
*
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
* Ohhh
*ohhh
OHHHH My
*
*
Sorry I got in the way, but man, you can squeeze!
*closes book*
…and that is why you should never do drugs.
pharmaphilia?
Funny, I actually looked that one up. I wish I had those people’s problems! I’m not a big pharma phan by any means, but I have been a happier zombie lately because of my pusher turning me into a needle junkie. Not that I like being a needle junkie, but it’s better than screaming pain. Now I can control my desire to eat the living – somewhat.
I’ll always have rigor mortis though, even when Enbrel allows me to forget that fact.
Rigor mortis is just a fact of, umm, death – you gotta learn to, uhh, die with it
e los patros mitsos qverkos kompanja? That reminds me of Greek names.
That’s the Berlin Olympic Stadium and home of Hertha BSC, currently last in the German Bundesliga. Two fails for the price of one…
This sort of thing should be Bahn Bahn’d.
Ve’ll cut off your Johnson!
Nice Marmot.
That Katamari wasn’t big enough to pick up that vehicle (or whatever the heck it was).
ROFLMFAO!!!!! I love, love, love that game!!
Once it rolls over the stadium, the whale, and the octopus, he can go back and try again.
He is practicing for the new high-speed-head-desk competition.
*headdesk*
blah blah blah completely irrelevent comment cutesy inside joke blah blah amIcoolyet?
No.
Makes her kinda irrelevent, really.
coolyet – no
jealousmuch- yes
jealous that my social life doesn’t revolve around the comments section of a website? I hope to God you’re a 12 year old girl because otherwise that’s just sad…
*gets lawnchair, camera, and Shamwow*
This is gonna be good….
Ooooh, we’ve got a Code Red here.
*joins LGB, and flops down on lawnchair*
*leaves to get ice cream sundaes*
Can we have chocolate chip cookies too?
Of course! Hopefully all the spam ones are gone. :ick:
Triple :ick:
I am thinking we should invest some internet $ to buy IgnoreButtons for everyone here like you did the FAIL stamp.
Fresh out of the microwave!
*offers tray of spam cookies to everyone*
I put extra tinfoil in this batch.
*runs away looking for a bukkit*
*pounces on LGB*
*sits on her*
I am not getting up till you promise never to bake those gosh awful cookies.
Honestly- There is nothing better than the little zap you get from biting foil. What a great idea to mix it in the spam cookies!
*drools*
*tray of spam cookies vanishes*
See, Leila? Everyone LOVES my spam cookies!
*quickly puts together another batch*
For the love of FailBlog, keep those away from me!
*ties LGB’s hands together (behind her) so she no longer bakes*
I hope this fixes it.
*brings in chocolate lavender cookies*
Will this help put the spam cookies behind us?
*types with nose*
opiukay. i whbnon’t mbfake anybmhore shcpam vcdfookies.
My social life doesn’t revolve around the comments section of a website -I am an active member of my community, married, beautiful healthy kids, and have many friends. If you think that is sad then you have some priority issues.
*squeeze*
Jenny, I hear there is cake in the breakroom.
*picks up Jenny and cuddles, makes like a mascot and starts running towards the breakroom*
Ha ha, You win my first audible laugh of the day Leila!
Whheeeeeeeee – this is OOOOOOOOFFFFF
Yeah, Cuddles was bouncing too hard on my back. Threw me off balance and, well…you know what happened next.
woops! sorry guys
It’s okay.
*squeeze*
Coccyx injuries heal fast…I think.
*gives Leila an inflatable donut*
I think you’ll need this for a while.
Grazie mille DW!!
*inflates donut*
*puts it on her head*
*struts*
Does this donut make me look fat?
Nooooo! In fact, it makes your coccyx look TEENY!
*takes her TEENY coccyx to breakroom for something chocolatey*
Actually you’re just a stupid b*tch and a scum-sucking roadwhore. So if you could quit spoiling our fun and being a f*cked up c*nt bag, that would be awesome.
kthanksbye <3
*claps hands high above head*
Encore! Encore!
*takes a bow*
I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Judy is around with that ET Finger thingie.
Lucky for me that area is still occupied with Emperor’s spear
Oh my. You should really have that checked.
*looks at cuddles posterior with extruding spear*
*look at e.t. finger*
*shrugs*
*walks away*
wow!
*goes shopping for spears to avoid future ET Finger attacks*
You’d rather have a spear up your bum?
*walks away puzzled…*
Now THAT is a sentence I didn’t expect to encounter today.
…Just another reason I loves my Failblog!
PICKLE SPEARS!!
…AND A VICAR!
Myself, I’m partial to the roleplay hornychat, but that’s just me…
That’s always good, too.
*squeeze*
So are the squeezes!
*squeezes everybody*
I was thinking that the spear would be somewhat sanitized as opposed to the ET Finger. How many bums has it visited? I never saw you wash, Lysol or Purell it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
*runs…ala BFF*
An appropriately lighted (with UV) ET Finger >could< be relatively sanitary.
We'll probably never know.
:ick:
I go away for a few hours and this is what I miss!?
Spears of Filth!
*”Entering Zero Gravity”*
asspearagus
I can’t wait until the new Finger Fail from the vote page gets here. This thing is awesome! It looks like a finger, but shoots cap bombs! SOS! Writes – has a pen! Shoots secret bullets! Shoots message missiles! Shoots fragmentation bombs! EXTRA! Secret code clicker sends messages! I’ll be like a little kid on Christmas morning.
Plus, it’s all digital.
Batteries not included.
*Ahem*
Emperor Spears have taken off it seems. Now if I only could fulfill all these orders I am getting.
Needs more ‘u’
Yeah, so what? Do you have a problem with that? Huh? HUH?
The Button, BF. The Button.
Where is that thing? I must have lost it while I was teetering on the spiked punch. Hmmm.
*presents BFF with his own shiny IgnoreButton*
It’s even engraved with the words AAAAHHHHHH!!! *runs out of room, screaming and shouting, waving troll mallet in hand*
Hooraay! A new button! And its even got my trademark on it! Thanks, Leila!
*shakes Leila*
*adds a “TROLL INCINERATOR” button on Leila’s mallet*
ZOMGAH!!!!!! An incinerator? I’ve always wanted one.
*smoochOnCheek*
*shakes then stirs BFF*
*walks around dizzily, after being shook*
That was a very stirring performance.
*tries to bow*
*careers into wall*
S’ok, you can switch jobs later.
♪ I got a bird that whistles I got a bird that sings
But I ain’t got a Corina and life don’t mean a thing
Some trolls are fun to play with. Others – not so much.
You reminded me of the crossword I was doing yesterday. The clue was not so much. After an hour I got it and yelled it out, … in my sleep of all things. So I got up put in less and finished the crossword. This was at 5 am after going to sleep at 3…
Ahh, great times.
It’s all part of the plan…more or less.
I’ve been having nightmares about all kinds of wedding vendors chasing me with their hands extended. I feel like they are going to grab me but I think they are just looking for me to slap some $ on their hands. Bastards!!!!
Typing it out may prove to be cathartic.
if anyone’s ever been a mascot before, You’d understand. it’s’ impossible to see in those things
Hmm. I know, I have a great idea! I can’t see a thing and someone is on my back, but wouldn’t it be kewl if I ran across the floor at full speed?
Ooof. Where’d that come from?
They should keep better track of these things.
They do tend to run away from us.
*laps at the ice cream dripping off her sundae*
These were a great idea, Ms B.
*sigh*
I have too many hurdles to leap before I can take an ice cream sundae break.
Stay on track lady!
I think you’re reaching your goal in record time.
I see what you’re saying you didn’t see there.
^ That’s what he said sam i am was saying he didn’t see there
I understand the sight thing. What I’m failing to understand is your use of capital and LOWERCASE letters. Hmmm…
way too funny! He is far baver than I. I would never run full-tilt without being able to see. hahahahahahahahaha!! ROFL
I fear you misspelled “dumber”.
It’s a bave new word.
“To blave! Which means “to bluff”.
“Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead.”
*snork* hee hee *supersqueeze*
He probably assumed that because he was on a track there wouldn’t be any obstacles. Usually that’s a pretty safe assumption…
well, we all know the saying about the word assume… lol. But, yeah, I would think the same thing.
You make an ass out of lemons and have delicious lemonade?
I’m an ass sue me?
That thar’s the ‘Murrican way, baby. A lemon in the hand is worth having a glass house.
Hey! I’m a creepy mascot that just dropped your ass on the ground. How about a hug?
I’m not sure whether that gesture at the end was supposed to be “Ta-da!” or “Why didn’t you warn me I was about to run into something?”
A mascotic version of WTF.
LOL the UVA mascot fail is even better
Deutsche Bahn FTW!
Anyone know what has happened with Bearly and Gaynorvader?
Gaynorvader shows up on Face occasionally, and Bearly may be lost in the woods, looking for TP (isn’t that what bears do).
:Seriously: I don’t know why they aren’t posting.
I drove by Houston last week and yelled for you, but you didn’t answer.
That was you?
*admires/envies Jenny’s lungs*
Where were you headed to?
I drove from Alabama to San Antonio TX and back, and therefore through Houston twice.
Cool! If it was me, I would have kept driving west.
Hey, tell Gaynorvader I said hey next time you ‘see’ him please?
I went and posted something for GV already! Maybe he will show up today for our reunion.
*ThankYouSqueezes*
*Headdesk*
Don’t thank me I was thinking how much I like you and Judy having really different avatars now and then I wrote the wrong name. I tried to clear it up though!
What… I am so confucious.
There’s a reunion?!?
Up ^ there. Stay away from the punch.
My husband asked me who that Katy person is.
ROFL!!
There’s always TP in the woods
Leaves?
Smooth river rocks?
Ponders the use of a rock for TP…
What was that old joke about the bear asking a squirrel if he had problems with … um … “excrement” … sticking to his fur?
Pepe LePew wouldn’t appreciate this coming from an undead.
*UndeadSqueeze*
*le sigh ♥ * “Ze moon! Ze June! Ze spoon! C’est l’amour!! C’est toujours!”
Damn, those far-too-quick-to-read-quotes-that-are-usually-not-even-funny are so annoying. So… fail.
Thanks!
That’s what we were going for!
*sniff*
I love how everything comes all together.
Y’all must be doing it right.
he come, old flat top,
he come groovin up slowly
(instant karma’s gonna get me)
I watched this on telly when it was live on the BBC XD my whole family were in hysterics
That, my friends, is a totally clear win!
Boy, pooh sure has let himself go these days.
*looks at waiting wet-looking bathing suit and heels*
*looks at GS*
*taps foot*
Well? Where is it?
Is that what the smell is?
Having a super busy day so not much posting for me, hope everyone is well.
Haiku project day 4.
enthusiastic bear
drops winner when he hits cart;
start fall track season
*dons super-sexy, wet-looking, one-piece bathing suit with more skin showing than bathing suit*
*holds up ‘12′ card above head while prancing in a circle in very high heels*
*sets camera to full-speed-auto*
*pushes button*
I’m getting a bit worried now about the state of my mind. I read that last sentence as *pushes bosom*.
The power of suggestion!
*adjust camera’s bosom pushing attachment*
*shoots*
*scores!*
♪ next to her cheap silicone
I look minimal ♪
*shakes it like a belly dancer*
(music notes) That’s why next to her I’m invisible.(music notes)
Is your music notes maker Barack’en?
I looked under the “special characters” list and can’t find ‘em!
*pouts*
Copy and paste from Leila!
*facepalm*
Why didn’t I think of that?!?
*sigh*
I think I’m a bit off my game today.
Ooo! Wanna play Risk or Stratego?
… or musical stares
*drops Avis a note* ♪♫
coyote!!!!
*covers monitor*
Heeeey!!! No cheating.
Try Alt 13 Avis or clickie!!!!
NO CLICKIE! Clickies are evil.
Says the man with the drug clicky!
What drug clickie?
*shifty eyes*
As explained by ZA, SOME clickies are not evil:
http ://failblog.org/2009/09/23/police-chase-fail/#comment-616889
Don’t anthropomorphize clickies, they hate that.
*booming announcer voice*
And the Thursday Word of the Day award goes to
*hush from the crowd*
ZA … for ‘anthropomorphize’!
*fanfare plays*
*hands ZA mic and crystal-encrusted trophy*
ZA wins two free tickets to Ankh-Morpork!!
Awww man! ZA got the award yesterday too!
*looks down, kicks pebble, walks away*
Running suits are hot
Click my name for a funny Fail / Win stuffed bear pic.
Repost.
Riposte.
Did he repose?
He didn’t fear the reaper.
Repartee.
*pours more champagne*
Recount
*examines chads*
*revels in the rapport*
Rapport me more champagne, if you please.
*rappels down from above*
Here ya go!
*repairs to the Rappahannock for a riparian repast*
Hey, is Dilly around? There’s a Zorb Win vid on page 7 (currently) of the voting pages!
Oh my, going off to vote!!
HEE!!!
The first one was better, but…how can you not love a vid of a Zorb squishing some woman in a field??
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY11!!!111ELEBENTYONE!!!!1
*does happy dance with dubs
*
I was a little disappointed with the votes on some of the fails along the way to locating Son of Zorb. I don’t think we are doing a good enough job with voting, and if we aren’t voting we shouldn’t complain. I think we, the collective regulars, should institute voting Monday.
Oooh, I LIKE it!!
I’ll put a notice on the failpeeps site.
Excellent!
I have been watching the votes off and on. And it’s my distinct impression that a different “style” of FB visitor votes on the voting pages — different from those who actually post comments here. The “thumbs” tally on the fails that get posted here tend to be less enthusiastic than the totals on the vote pages. LOTS of really dumb fails on the voting pages get LOTS of thumbs up.
Good idea. I make it a point to vote each day I’m on FB for that reason.
I do wish the ones I vote against didn’t always seem to have so many positive votes. Oh well.
New blog post up to that effect.
failpeeps.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/lets-get-out-there-and-vote-failpeeps/
I’ve done my lobbying! Vote early, vote often.
I have to confess to being delinquent lately, however!
*squeezes for all failpeeps*
*squeezies!*
How’s the visit going?
Awesome! I’m having way more fun than I thought I would. I’m maybe a bit overeager in showing them around, I think I’m majorly exhausting them. I’m going to take it easy the next couple days. The Boston subway (“T”) and Freedom Trail were a bit much.
I’ve missed the gang, I haven’t even seen the fails. I haven’t even really been logging on. Brewski, unplugged!!
Sheesh! Go easy on them! I’m so glad you’re enjoying their visit! Don’t worry about us – we’ll still be here when you return. Just have fun in the meantime. *squeeze* Oh! And *squeezes* to your parents, too!
You folks got me curious, so I had to check it out. Then I had to vote for it, but honestly the one that really made me LOL was the one above it. If I may quote (with spelling, punctuation and total lack of capitalization included, of course) …
“hay im having a hard time finding a job i need money i do just abowt any thing just aslong as its not sexual,or involving killing some1 ,and it dose not have nothing 2 do with snaks or insekts/bugs.”
*RIGLMS*
heh, those european morons
*whacks Manny with troll mallet on behalf of Arthur Eld, Czuhc, Jam, leila, k@, the moomin, and other Europeans I have failed to mention*
This is apropo of nothing, but there is a guy in my office who wears the same pair of hard-soled, scuffed-up, beat-to-hell shoes from the ’70s EVERY SINGLE DAY … and one of them squeaks. At about 3:00 p.m., EVERY SINGLE DAY, he goes out to get his gym bag from his car, so I hear:
*squeak* *tap* *squeak* *tap* *squeak* *tap*
*car door opening and closing*
*car alarm beep*
*squeak* *tap* *squeak* *tap* *squeak* *tap*
The kicker is that this guy makes upwards of $150K a year. Can he not afford a freakin’ pair of shoes that don’t squeak? I’m askin’ ya!?
Just thought I’d share.
Carry on.
Leave him an anonymous note and a pair of these (clicky), and tack it all somewhere everyone can see it. That’ll learn him.
A glue gun is still a gun.
STICK UM UP!
That’s right, coyote.
Don’t keep those feelings all bottled up.
Oh, and *Long-time-no-squeeze*
I have one squeaky shoe too. Still waiting for that $150K though.
I bet it’s amusing when he runs though.
Any mention of shoes sets the tongues to wagging around here.
COYOTE!!!!!!
*SQUEEZE!!!!*
How’s it going with you Avis? Haven’t talked at you for a spell.
I haven’t been on-line much later in the evenings, my computer died. I’m using my step-fathers computer. When I can.
Things are good, the new beau is helping in that endeavor…
I was having ISP problems myself. If you heard a rhythmic thumping sound emanating from the west, it was me beating my head against the desk.
I saw your posts about dinner preparations and the possibility of a skirt. You could have combined the two and had skirt steak.
You have an ISP?
I just assumed that beating sound was your baud rate.
It’s not a baud rate, it’s not great, but it’s not baud.
“It’s got a 28.8 kbps modem! We can hack the planet!!”
What does this “k” that you’ve added to bps mean?
que?
‘Kay.
Did you flashy thing me???!!
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Hmm. Must be broken if you question the flashy thingy.
*Dons sunglasses*
*Flashy thingies*
Ohhhhh…swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus?
Oh Lord. Is Dragon flashing again? I thought the police warned her about that.
If you’re going to flash at least have the decency to do it where I can watch. Honestly!
Certainly smarty. It works the same as everyone elses. I take the receiver off of the hook, crank the handle a few times, talk to Mary the operator for a bit and then she connects me to the Internet. Same as you. So there.
When did you get a HOOK??!!??
The advances in technology… 1magine.
What’re you, rich??
It’s right there on the side of the wooden box part of the telephone. It is where the receiver part hangs when not in use. Not to be confused with the part in the front that you speak into. You can’t catch me out with your technical talk. I’m up to date on all of the latest telephonic developments.
That party line must be tough, whenever Vera down the street wants to call Mabel for her meatloaf recipe, you get booted off the webs?
That would never happen. Mabel’s meatloaf is terrible.
Besides, nobody would ever boot me off of the interw
*SNORK!*
Hee! I did wear a skirt, and he wore a tie.
I failed to mention the best part though. And it’s proof he knows me pretty well. When we got back to his place he gave me… salt and pepper shakers!!!!!
Well, ok, so that’s not the best part of the evening, but I thought it was cute!
I liked when my last bf used to bring cool dead bugs for me to draw, it’s definitely cute about the salt and pepper shakers.
I think I posted the shock face too soon.
“cool dead bugs” *shudder*
But hey, whatever floats your boat.
You would prefer that they should have been live bugs?
DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!!
*sits in corner, rocking back and forth*
He gave me shakers not bugs, he gave me shakers not bugs, he gave me shakers not…
I like to draw nature! I’m not weird!!
Um, on that note…I’m going to a bar/club called Kung Fu Necktie to drink Pabst and whiskey and play The Dark Night pinball while I listen to my favorite Scottish djs play. Back later, peeps, be good…
Kirk out
Woohoo! Sounds like fun!! Drink a few for me!
Will do!
Sounds like fun, I ♥ pinball! Enjoy.
Get a high score!
Use the skillshot.
*gives dilly some beer money so she can drink some decent beer*
Pleh!
Exactly DW. Think WWBD – What Would Brewski Drink!
I like that! We should get bracelets with WWBD on them!
I’d buy one of those!
Oh, no, yours is free!
I hope there’s not an age limit for those, ‘cuz I want one too!
*snorkity*
Hmmm, $.99 each for a a custom run of 100, that’s very possible to do. *ponders*
I am normally a beer SNOB (my dad makes it in our house, judges it in competitions, and has never let a Coors light anywhere near me, ever), and I’ve had thousands and thousands of nice little brews, but if you live in “little Williamsburg, Brooklyn” and you have $10 to last yourself all week..it’s $1 Pabst for ya. Them’s the breaks.
I liked it when my last bf got a dragon tattooed on his arm. Salt and pepper shakers = really, really neat.
They’re busts of Abraham Lincoln. It’s kinda an “in-joke”. We talked about going to an Abraham Lincoln bookstore that sells gifty type things too, and I asked if they had salt and pepper shakers. We still don’t know, we haven’t made it to the store, but he got these on-line.
Yes, I promise I will eventually stop going on and on and on about him.
You can go on and on as far as I’m concerned!
*squeeze*
You going on and on… is making me smile
Perhaps he thought that his gift would add spice to the evening.
That evening was plenty spicy!
Unrelated post.
Just watched Question Time. The bloke from the Liberal Democrats was desperate to defend his party’s “mansion tax”, which would basically rob every man making a fortune, and was shouted down by the audience, which chanted “SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON YOU!”. There’s democracy in action, in my opinion.
Anyway, enough of my political sidestep. Do continue.
If they did that here, it would only be about 20 guys or so…
Hey GBF, do you know the difference in Japan between Democrats and Liberal Democrats? My American half tells me they are logically the same, but evidently they are two seperate parties.
That actually makes sense.
*high-fives*
OK, who broke the blogs front page?
I’m glad it’s not just me…my Internet connection is wonky tonight.
No, looks like all the cheezburger sites are having the same issue.
I’m not seeinany issues. What’s going on?
Me too neither. Whassup, peeps?
Me three.
S’all grey and weird-looking. Also, there are mermaids.
Mermaids?! Damn. All I see is Poseidon with a trident.
*perks!*
…and Dragons!
*squeeze!*
No Admirals?
*squeeze*
Here there be Dragons.
And Admirals!
Arrrr! Smurfs too!
*juicy squeeze*
*drips*
*squeezes back*
*and a special transparent aluminum squeeze to Scotty*
Awwww
*JuicyJudyandAdmiralSqueezes*
and
*LateShiftFailPeepSqueezes*
Teehee!
*groupmegasqueeze*
OOMPH!
*Super extendo Squeezes*
Carefully! Judy’s turning blue!
*giggles*
Good night, failpeeps!
Nighty-night Judy. Give Andy-pie a hug from the failpeeps.
Goodnight.
*Groups squeeze*
How is everyone tonight?
*Lines up sight*
*Shoots “s” out of previous post*
Good, but tired from a long busy day. I think Judy has the right idea. I hope you’ve found some longer term lodging Emp. Have a good evening all.
Good evening!
*squeezes*
*Follows awfully appealing example*
‘Till next time.
*Wedges “seein” and “any” apart*
… Double fail.
*leaves*
Front pages only, this page is fine.
Still looks perfectly fine to me. Weird.
I see the same messed up main page in Safari and Firefox. It’s not the ad blocker because it’s not installed on Firefox.
I just checked the front page again to see if I somehow missed the glitch.
Nope, it appears the glitch missed me.
I’m using Safari too.
All looks normal to me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
:p
Safari sagoody.
Sagoody here, too!
Alpha lima charlie echo come in !
Delta roger wilko here!
*transmission static*…I …on’t…know…wher…he…is!
*transmission cuts*
Could’ve sworn that the comment would be powered by a, “missed it by that much.”
WTF happened to ICHC sites? They all look like crap.
Another name to add to the not-so-delicious WTF Steu.
what about diahrea?
*A man goes crazy in rage of loss*
*He rips the limbs off of somone and is foaming at the mouth scaring the crowd*
I believe a certain yellow man said the following:
“D’OH!!!”
This is why the bear isn’t the runner.
congrats ICHS. viddler.com is now forbidden to run scripts on my network since they played a loud ad for “the touch, the feel of cotton” with the stop button disabled after a failblog video.
Hey look,it’s Conker
viddler is a BIG fail – the quality SUCKS & 4 some reason it plays every video twice
bring back youtube ..or use photobucket …or something that doesnt suck
She was beary heavy.
haha but the hug was kinda hartwarming
I can’t believe I actually got 551 comments on this one. Wow.
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