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Finally.
it’s the mascara that is vibrating. Not the girl.
Well, her legs should be.
Obvious, Captain Obvious^^
Is this really a ‘fail’ when it is clearly on purpose? I’m sure the ad execs who ran this expensive campaign are well aware of the suggestive wordplay. Sex sells and all.
ALERT! ALL PERSONELL IN THE VICINITY! A CARE TROLL HAS STEPPED ONTO THE PERIMETER! ASSUME DEF CON 3 PROCEDURES FOR THE CARE TROLL!
*pats C.O. gingerly*
there, there…
IM TROLLIN!!!
Just cos you like using the words ‘care troll’, doesn’t mean you should apply it to someone just pointing something out. It’s a valid point – pic not a fail.
*THWACK*
I think we have a new classification of troll.
The pedantic troll.
I disagree on all troll calls, here.
Erm…I’m with you, dilly. No one here flamed anyone, was rude, or confrontational. Why on earth would they be called trolls?? I think Brewski is right, and people are tossing this term around without thinking about what it actually means.
and troll tossing is just wrong
It’s a little too common lately, in my opinion, and going to drive off people who have potential, potentially because they don’t have an avatar or presence here. Disagreeing with the fail is sometimes completely legitimate, since they’ve been putting such crap, ill-thought out fails up lately, even though I’ve noticed the voting pages have fails that have an intensely high thumbs-up-to-thumbs-down ratio ignored. Better judgment by the powers that be and less troll-calling would be good for this place. Again, my $.002.
That’s just your opinion!!!
*hangs head in shame*
Sowwy.
No worries, birdie.
Well.
While some undocumented workers, umm, I mean bloggers may be OK, there is certainly a vast plethora of despicable, sub-human, evil, wicked, mean, and nasty blog units which totally deserve the full and proper application of the word “troll,” as well as a serious thack or three.
Therefore, I humbly declare that not only is it better to give than to receive, not only is apple pie better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but also it’s understandable to err whilst pondering a hitherto unknown potential troll’s trollness, as it were, if you will.
And furthermore, I also hereby squeeeeeze Avis AND hand her a shot of chilled Cabo Wabo, a lime slice, and a pony.
Awwwwwwww, I never get the pony
And I’ve had my share of trolliness VV, I’m no longer so diplomatic as I was a few hours ago. *sigh*
*squeeeeezes D, hands her a pony, and apologizes for earlier TLaPD oopsie*
When did I eat tilapia? Or did I look TiLaPiDated?!? Don’t know what you mean, so you’re obviously forgiven. *squees at pony*
*sigh*
*gets a ShamWow to clean up squee*
Wouldn’t this be a win, then?
Of course it’s a fail even if it’s on purpose. The road to Failblog is paved with good intentions.
(bows)
*doffs cap*
*snickers*
*sneaks up behind buster with E.T. finger….
Look Out Buster!!!
*covers eyes*
I can’t look!
It’s a trap!
Oh that’s the fail?
i thought it was the comma after ‘now’ that was the fail.
Not only is it not a fail, it’s a complete win.
finally fail?!
a hawt nawt second
ugh i have this stuff,it doesnt even work.
They say make up sex is the best.
And the “Best Comment of the Day” goes to…MRN!
*gives MRN the clap* Excellent!
Wanna come over for dinner? I am feeling a little crabby.
all those in favour, say “eye”
It’s a good foundation for a relationship.
This topic is making me blush.
LMAO, that was funny!
They say make up sex is the best
Wow, glad I type fast
Hey, Haredeenee, take over for me – I just popped in quickly – have to get ready for work. TTFN.
Admit it, you’re the same person!
Attack of the clones!
“You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt doubles!”
AH AH!! I’m also a double of….wait…I forgot
LUDICROUS SPEED!”
They’ve gone to PLAID!
The kids love the Spaceballs Flamethrower.
But I hate yogurt! Even with strawberries!
May the schwartz be with you.
Comb the desert!
gimme paw
Smoke if ya got ‘em!
what are they gonna come up with next?!…
Aphrodisiac face powder? (“Adds more flush to your blush!”)
Hot pink nail’erpolish?
Greasepaint (now with Baconlube!)?
Combination vibe/blowdryer?
Luscious Pubelash™. For a more curly effect.
Brown Eye makeup.
Adult oil. Oilin’ babies got boring.
*barfs*
Wow, that just got really really gross while I was away. So much for the easy-glide lip lube.
naa. That’s already been done.
It’s basically the same crap, they just change the slogan.
‘Imagine it’s that guy from last Wednesday’?
Hey Yune, I see you used the “i” word. Did your post get moderated?
Just like the Labour Party here in the UK!
O rly?
Labour party? what labour party, you couldn’t mean New labour could you?
You mean “that steaming pile of bureaucrat-ridden, thieving, lying, crap”? Yes. I do mean New Labour.
The UK puts piles of crap in government positions? That must stink.
Yes, the government does smell very bad now. It’s rotten at the core, in fact, which Gordon Brown at its centre.
Sounds like it fits.
Yup, it fits continuously.
..sometimes for whole months at a time…
Cue the music!
♪ Good, good, good, good vibrations. . . ♪
Theremin … to the Max Factor.
Is that when nivea creamed?
…sorry everyone
Bets someone uses this to masturbate with?
Get your filthy mind out of here!
Yeah! How could anyone see anything dirty in that advert?!
Shocking.
And so far beneath FB’s normal style and decorum.
Next thing you know it’ll be roleplay hornychat.
*GASP!*
*faints*
*fans* My, my.
*blushes hysterically*
*tugs at starched collar*
Goodness! The thought of it!
*adjusts tophat*
*covers eyes with hands* …. *slowly moves fingers away to see a little*
*offers mojitos and mint juleps to the survivors*
Something to wet the throat with? Would anyone like to lie down?
Pass the Mojito please…
Here you go. Help yourself to more if you like.
what? a picture of an eye? that would take some doin’.
Wow, vibration sure helps those…thick…lashes.
*Runs off, snickering*
how is it a fail if it’s troo? i’d call this a subliminal message WIN.
Someone saw Derrn Brown a few days ago!
I bet the batteries of this thing also constantly die during..umm.. application…
Don’tcha just hate that??
Oh yeah, i always gotta call my boyfriend to finish the job
Riiiight, your boyfriend is shadow. Suuuure, we believe you.
Very true, but I can’t help but wonder what it has to do with mascara.
For us women everything has to do with makeup^^
We know it’s you, stranger. Changing your name doesn’t make you any less of a troll.
Oooo, who is it?
His real name is revealed in his reply to Captain Obvious’ comment on the first thread of this fail.
he is very annoying i had a fight with him last fail
You call that a fight? Jeez, i dont wanna see you if you ever get a girl
Hee! I love when they don’t change their avatars.
yes very stupid
yes and you are 10 tons of troll
No, that would be you. Except I would be underestimating that number by several trillions.
in normal time you can insult me but when i am fighting a troll support me
also be hapy i dont say first or any variation thereof
stranger said111 112 113 114 and 115
Support you?! You insulted me in your first reply to me this fail! How dare you!
insulted you what are you talking about
o that i was refering to the total dumass who forgot to change his gravatar
Come on, come on. We’re here to fight trolls, not each other.
Come together,
right now,
over me.
Looks like someone has been playing The Beatles’ Rock Band *high fives*
you want us to come over you?
do you have any mascara?
Avatar
And thanks for counting 
So, are you admitting to being Stranger, or not?
The man IS stranger, Adam. He’s just so unintelligent he thinks that a name change will create a new identity for him.
Although the fail is pretty obvious. “Vibrating Mascara” is a fail on its own.
Why? What’s wrong with shaking makeup?
The $1400 I just spent at the eye hospital for my scratched cornea, for one…
And glass eyes are HARDLY a fiscally responsible alternative.
By the way, was your eye inpatient or outpatient?
Outpatient, but I put it back in
It’s all better now but I’m still scared of mascara. And I didn’t even get an eyepatch like I wanted, boo.
Well, Talk Like a Pirate Day is Tuesday, it’s NOT too late!
Arrrrr, Matey!
Um…talk like a pirate day was yesterday, darlin’. Sowwy.
B-b-b-but WN said it was Tuesday.
The time warp continues.
*cues Star Trek music*
star trek? *cues Rocky Horror music*
♪♪ ..its just a jump to the left! ♪♪
..or was it a step?
jump to the left, step tp the right
put your hands on your hips
bring your knees in tight
Oh, no. *gets hook, parrot, and water from th’ briny deep in eye*
aqueous humor
You mean I’ll have to talk like a pirate on my b-day?
Yes, talk like a pirate day is mandatory.
But…but…
Does pirate time have any meaning, D-dubs? Are any of us really sailing the high seas on a linear plane?
*takes a swig of rum and adjusts corset*
Saucy wench.
Mmm! *click*
Bordel(lo)laise, baby.
Nah…you’re thinking back to my Holland days.
Aaaah, Amsterdam…*wistful, reminiscent sigh*
High seas?
*high sighs at repetitiveyarrrn*
i saw this product in the store, not a very good ad for it, though.
I’m pretty sure that’s not a “fail”. Like, omg, using SEX in advertising? Who knew? I hate when they put things as fails that totally aren’t.
Like, OMG! I hate it when someone points out a fail that’s totally not a fail and then talks about how much it’s not a fail and then goads people into trying to see it their way and….
*head asplodes*
Hey! That’s my line! Tsk, tsk.
*grumbles and mops up fwoggy’s grey matter with ShamWow*
Hmm… where’s ZombieApocalypse at this kind of time? Ah, well…
*Picks up a few pieces and saves it for ZA*
Okay. This is B-A-D- bad. I’m commenting from home, and I’m all discomboobulated. The comments look really weird, too. Is it just me?
*gingerly sniffs armpits*
I know it’s way late to respond to this, but how do the comments look different?
Were you perhaps drinking heavily last night, LGB?
The comments are not all enclosed in boxes. It also appears that I’m not typing in HTML, but rathertext. Also, if there are too many replies, they just kind of go off the page and I can’t view them. Very strange. I checked my laptop too, and it’s doing the same thing. Updated my browser to Explorer 7 thinking that was the problem, but it didn’t fix it.
How does one type in rathertext? I really want that, it’d save me so much time…
And sanity revolves around Firefox!
I agree. This isn’t a fail. It’s an advertising ploy and everything about it is not only completely intentional, but it is also successful. We’re all talking about it, right?
Where’s the fail?
Where is that woman who is always writing something in the notebook?
You can add to the log too, RHSC. The notebook is kept in the breakroom, by the cake, and we all keep it updated.
But I hear it’s all crumby.
*Wipes face*
*sets down cake*
Uh…
who wants mascara on the crotch?
we’ll soon find out… most likely XP
I’m sure XBox will want to take a stab at it.
It’ll be a hit at the Box office.
Ewewewewewewewewewewewewewewew!
I just thought of mascara for pub!c hair!
That exists. Why do you think women sleep with men?
And what is that supposed to insinuate? Hm?
Dirty thought: wouldn’t the sweat and stuff wash the mascara into your genitals? That would hurt.
Nah… it would only hurt 9 months after the fact
That men make excelent make up products ;P
I also hear it makes for good hair gel, too.
I hope your statement and question are completely unrelated.
Just for joke purposes, nothing more
*wince*
We’re not too fond of sexist jokes here at Failblog, Yune. Just remember that.
I’m male… but alright
That’s exactly why dilly there was not overjoyed with your post. You suggest that women have intercourse just because of the smell of men’s pubic hair. There’s more to a relationship than the smell of your bollocks, you know.
Don’t speak for me– no it wasn’t, and where the hell did smell come into it?!
Not mad at you, BFF, but I’m going out for a few hours, don’t fight any more odd battles on my behalf
DAMN YOU FATIGUE!
*shakes fist at self*
I’m going offer a slight apology to Yune for my care-troll style comment, and have a lie down now, before I sound any more like I’m completely bonkers.
Don’t worry about it.
What…? Not exactly what I meant.
But I do suppose I was rather unclear…
How was that sexist? I read it as women sleep with men who have longer, more luscious mascaraed pubic hair, and I barfed.
Sorry, perhaps “sexist” wasn’t the right word for it. I was just thinking that, woman are looking for more to a man than his ball smell.
lol. Do you have any idea how difficult you’re making it for me not to start making sex jokes? Not sexist jokes of course. Just for you BF I offer a remake of Schweddy Balls!
Nah…Chef’s Salty Chocolate Balls is better…
Again, my bad for making it unclear. I meant it as women sleep with men for the make up product.
Now that I look back, it seems over-the-top, regardless -~-’|||
Wow. What did I miss?
Failures in Communication
I just can’t win today.
Ok, gotcha. If you’re putting out for a $5 Rite-Aid purchase, you’re not really picky enough.
*blinks*
This whole thread reads like a French farce.
I know! I think the French would know that mascara doesn’t make anything SMELL better…jumps in frustration *boeing boeing boeing*
I Don’t get it… =/
You will when you’re older
but you won’t want to
That’s why Pulse Perfection is perfect for you!
FIRST!
Loser.
Nah, he’s not the first loser. A loser, yes, but not the first.
Sadly there will probably be more like him in the future…
Ah, but he is a “First” loser. He definitely said the number in capitals and only the number. Plus, his name is dedicated to it.
point taken
Vibrating mascara? Eyelids as long-neglected erogenous zone, other than proverbial butterfly kisses? Will need to check my Franco-files; this may be one the French have missed…
“…. like, you can only kind of figure one thing it might be like …”
still needs more cowbell – if you ask me.
Mascara for your hoo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!
Some beauty ideas are just bad – like injecting botulism in your face.
You should see what’s in some face creams.
And also in some shampoos.
:ick:
No kidding – I barely put anything on my face or body. Most of the women I know spend most of the day coating themselves in mystery goo trying to look pretty.
i’ve heard said that many face products (esp. lip balms) contain very mild irritants – so people canne help but keep applying them..
*scratches*
Who thinks of that shows topics???
Do they just sit around drinking starbucks trying to come up with the worst/grossest scenarios possible?
I watched it cos I thought it was funny up until the last series or so. Nothing to do with Julian McMahon running around butt nekkid, not at all, no siree!
yup, you got it in one…
Bah! That’s obviously stolen from There’s Something About Mary.
What about training them to be olympic swimmers?
Or even naughtycal seamen.
thickener for soup?
*shock:
Ewwwwwwww!
*snork*
Well THAT didn’t work!
That’s OK. Shock can do that to you.
Granny Cat Flap would be proud of me.
This product is intended for the discreet sex addict.
Discreet? As in how? As in one spy killing the entire other team? Or as in a weird blogger who just sits in his room all day and has eroge posters all over the wall.
(The line was crossed 3 other times today, might as well cross it again.)
Discreet as in you can’t continuously do this line crossing thing.
What the-?
Discreet as in she doesn’t want the world to know that she carries a vibrator around in her purse.
That line you speak of, I haven’t come anywhere near it.
I think (I hope) he wasn’t saying that you had crossed the line today.
Now I a confused.
*Is utterly confused as Avis just crossed the line and pretty much ruined the whole discreet thing (If you care, I’m not judging you.)*
*Head asplodes*
PR guy: Well, it looks like we’ve got another one.
…
Wait, why would you carry a vibrator around in your purse?
…
Unless you mean you have one of those vibrating mascara things.
…
Okay, you win.
While I don’t do it myself, it is not uncommon for women to carry various bits of makeup in their purses. It seems that makeup that vibrates would be a sneaky way to carry ones “toys” with them as well.
Personally I think one should leave ones “toys” at home. If one has “toys” in the first place.
What about the continuous sex addict?
Do they even leave the house?
They use eyeliners without a break
(and tend to extend their curves without interruption).
They need something more variable. Maybe one that collects samples.
They couldn’t function without one.
Something that slots between ellipse must be integral to the design.
I’d like to see that product measure up to its name.
As long as it pushes a girl with volume over the limit, it’s all good.
*Determines the probability that they will be able to remain ‘discrete’ about it.*
hmmm does not look good.
Well, they could try!
Do or do not -there is no try!
*snork*
I heard that line this weekend!
(didn’t watch the movie this weekend)
It usually pisses me off when someone says it to me.
Eh, he meant it as a joke, and it wasn’t really directed at me anyway, so it didn’t bother me. Now when someone does direct it at me I usually respond with something like “Bite me”.
My mother just loves it when I say that. /sarcasm
It does seem like they’re not the best at distinction.
I think that’s a WIN, actually.
I wink frats thin, fractally.
Wherefore is the vibration neccessary? It’s the same useless like the vibrating shaver from Gilette. With or without vibration makes no difference.
It’s just a marketing for stupid consuments.
Next time they will pay more money for decaffeinated cheese. Or nonfat marmelade. Or another stupid senseless thing.
This Mascara is for me a clear fail, but could be switch in a marketing win.
*shows up with little bloody pieces of TP stuck to legs*
What do you mean useless?
Marketing innuendo aside, actually does serve a purpose…to apply mascara properly to coat all lashes, you’re supposed to wiggle the wand as you drag it down the lashes. This vibrating mascara supposedly eliminates the need to….um…manually wiggle the wand. (If you know what I mean.)
haha i saw that ad and though “is that sketchy or am i just a huge perv?”
Yes.
Stealth masturbation win!
I guess it depends on where you putting the mascara
I don’t know who you are but I LOVE your avatar!
Beauty mags always recommend to apply mascara with a zig-zag
motion so all of the lashes are covered. The vibration is
supposed to mimic the zig-zagging, presumably, making the
mascara go on better. Still, I’m not putting anything that
resembles a shaking near my eyeballs…
I agree Jasmine; hard enough to keep my hands steady to apply mascara or eyeliner, add vibration to that…dang, my eyes are burning just thinking about it!!
You know it was done on purpose. Sex sells.
hello what time is it
yes, yes it is
Hey fuzz whats up
yes, yes it is
yes,yes it is ? dilettante?
yes, yes she is
yes, yes it is fuzz?
time is a pony ride hello
Pony ride?
hello can anybody hear me whats up Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
That’ll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.
Where did you get this poem?
Pink Floyd, “Comfortably Numb”, mostly. Also there’s a sort of interesting version by the Scissor Sisters if that’s more your style, it is mine.
send me clicky to youtube for more insight.
I’m not doing your homework! I have nerds do mine.
You are to young to be listening to pink floyd anyways LOL.dilettante
I’m pretty sure you’re younger than me, that album came out the year I was born…
♪ Time isn’t holding us
Time isn’t after us
Time isn’t holding us
Time is a pony ride ♪
~ The Talking Heads
Water flowing underground…
Same as it – ever – was…
i dont get it..
That’s cause your mom is so fat, old, and broke. What a joke.
churn
♪ For every whey, churn, churn, churn… ♪
There is a reason, churn churn churn…
give up more your mom jokes?
You first.
*opens The Book*
*officially renames “5 eagles” “5 finches”*
still a bird
5 eagles/finches, sometimes I really think you’re OK
I am. I get so mad when people tear me down. I like you WhoeNellie You are easy going, forget and forgive. This is a blog not life. There are no mommies and daddies telling me what to do act talk behave, I am way to old for that, at 44. We need to talk about your mascrara though. LOL
Man, you are SO not younger than me, whoops.
You look so young though, oh and, “You make me feel so young”
I thought he was half my age, like you, not + half my age older!
? You do know I am 21 right?
you have a mind of a 20 year dilettante.LOL
Oops typo on my age didn’t proof read.
EMP you are still younger then dilettante if I did the math right but older woman mature quicker lol just teasing the both of you.
*Looks at everyone*
Did you need me to escort you all across the street or something?
I was just saying that dilly isn’t a day older than 26.
*Shakes head no*
I won’t accept any other age.
Funny Math
Good one Jenny!
Why are we doing this?
I dunno – I thought you wanted to & everyone else seems to be gone.
Goodnight!
I think it’s all a reference to something a troll-esque person said. Whatever it is, it’s kinda fun.
lol @ Jenny, and sorry I thought you were younger, Emperor. And no, you do NOT act like a 15 year-old, but what with all the whippersnappers on this site I can’t keep up
My mom was so fat she had her own zip code.
Bwahhha hahhaahahha. ha. ha
nice one!
i don’t get it..
Responding to your name. That’s it. You totally get the fail, it’s more than obvious, you were expecting some answers to your trolling, I gave you some food. I hope it tastes good. Have a nice day!
more like WIN!
dilettante nice joke makes you look like an a-hole
mean one!
Man, punishment cause I used to like the Pharcyde. I’ll use music notes for rap from now on.
Ahhhhhhhh, same avatar. “Jake” and “maker”. Love when you try to post as different people, I can’t believe I fell for that. Learn to use the internet, pretending you’re backing yourself up is just much more effective. “Nice one!”
*shakes head in Great Sadness*
*cries a single tear whilst contemplating the abject barrenness of one forced to invent a new identity, no doubt because the original was so abysmally pathetic*
*wipes away tear*
*smiles*
Hey d, wanna sip some tequila with me?
Tequila make people go crazy WhoeNellie?
Not people with an IQ over room temp, finches.
Ya might wanna be careful.
don’t eat the worm!
Would you like your worm microwaved or not?
Yes with butter. A pine larva in good heated to.
Yeah, I could use it. *licks salt*
Nice one, dilettante! Woohoo!
psss deilettante whoa on the shot you just lost your name already. Who was your drinking buddy?
No, anonymous was a different person! He was just telling the world dilettante was really cool!
Oh sorry but I knew that you where really cool!
Hey, just buy regular mascara and apply it with your electric tooth brush! Win!
You you also use a vibrator?
Vibrator for the eye
N4RY a dry eye in the house
♪ The tide is high but I’m holding on
I’m gonna be your numb3r one
I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
Oh, no ♫
Hey, 'nonymous -- you need some more mascara to aid your masquerade some more.(And maybe some peroxide for your purdy hair, if you wanna be a Blondie.)
♫ Heart of glass♫
Yup tried it for the big “O”
How did you get the mascara off?
There is another vibrator for that
FIRST!
I highly doubt it
i dont get it
what, you don’t think that was intentional?
I fail to see the fail here. As long as the desired outcome is achieved, what does it matter if it is by vibration (applied by hand), or just by hand?
I’m not getting a good vibe off of this fail.
That, Qwaz, was genius!
I’ve been waiting for someone to do this one for ages! I’ve been laughing at the commercials since they started. It’s a two way fail…innuendo + too lazy to apply your own mascara!
Well, I should definitely get that for a girl.
What’s next, squirting lipstick? Oh, wait, nm…already done…
Also for men who like to “pump up the volume”…lol
Vibrating mascara. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
This reminds me of a song…
♫Bleeding, mascara, lips are trembling♫
Did anyone else notice that there is always a Mascara ad on the top right of this page?
Nope…I have a Clinique Super Powder ad on my page…lol.
HAHAHA Masterbation.
i saw a commercial for this and thought it was a joke. besides the masturbation jokes, it’s not even a practical product. it seems like it would hit your eyes more then lashes.
i bought this and surprisingly it works well. its vibration is REALLY small and easy to use. but, its like $10 and not worth it.
For your whispering eye XD
wooooww
This really needs to be a WIN
Now you can have a dual purpose pocket rocket
hehe, i laughed so much when this ad came on tv.
my dad couldn’t stop either lol
I know a girl who uses that mascara for just that purpose.
XD
So, is that a fail on top of a fail?
i actually bought that to see if it works. it does work really well, but i wouldnt buy it a second time.
how is this a fail srsly it was just a bad use of words. no fail. a fail is if someone leans over a barrier and falls off while cursing somebody or something. srsly.
An epic fail! I saw the advert and it says “Are you ready to be turned on with new vibrating Mascara?” I lol’d so hard it hurt!
fail blog failed on this one im afraid :/
Way for the mascara people to bring this into the light for all to know, way to go big corporation!
Now this mascara is for hair exactly where?
Although the fail is pretty obvious. “Vibrating Mascara” is a fail on its own.
*snork*
I heard that line this weekend!
(didn’t watch the movie this weekend)
*Determines the probability that they will be able to remain ‘discrete’ about it.*
hmmm does not look good.