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Granny Fail
» 222 Failures in Communication
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This is sew wrong.
What, this is what I do at work all day! I don’t come down to where you work and slap the kid off your sewing machine!!
(Dilly, I think you should come down to where I work and slap some sense into my crazy ass.)
That would be unseamly!
This would be a pun thread!
Oh, darn.
Leave hem alone!
I’m sorry. Perhaps we can patch things up here.
Come now, Johnny, I just need to thread that needle through this hole…
You guys got me in stitches here!
I don’t know WN, it seems like the same old yarn to me…
*squeeze*
Jimbo! We thought you’d unraveled!
Does this thread needle-ittle more bad punmanship?
we really need to stitch this up
I know! I alway put my hands through the machine, she’s doing it right. Plus reaching for little kid’s packages is just part of the creative process.
She’s just checking his rise.
Think he dresses left or right?
That’s a pretty hip point. I think it depends on the binding.
Darn that corrupting Granny!
Looks like Granny’s trying to fix a rip in his trousers.
In an ‘awkward’ position. xD
One slip of the needle, and li’l Johnny’s gonna be the last in his gene pool.
He’s not doing cartwheels! If you saw it from a different angle, you could see that she’s fixing the rip while he stands on his hands. I know, because my friend has the same one in her house, and we giggle at it like little kids every time I come over.
I know other people have already said similar things, but who cares?
His butt was broken, it had a crack in it.
Quit needling the old lady, she is just doing her job.
Would anyone believe me if I said my grandmother actually HAS this figurine? XD
I believe it. My mom has had that figurine for as long as I can remember! lol, I always thought it was hilarious, I should have posted it here!
This is how you bow to satin
Yo, Dilly!
Is this a crotch stitch?
Sure looks like she’s having a sampler.
Could be crochet?
(Just don’t get crotchety, cr’Okay? … or Dilly’s liable to slap somebody.)
I’ll slap you with a macramé plant hanger. That’ll learn ya.
Woof!
A-hem. It appears I have cross-stitched this run.
I thought you were changing tack.
Nah, don’t warpy about it, Marius, fuzzy’s just fishneting for abuse today.
♪♫ I saw Diily today, I saw her face,
It was the face I loved, and I knew,
I had to get down on my knees and pray …
And now they’ve begun —
needlings and puns ♪♫
Hee! Fuzzy Berkley
I thought I’d get a good basting for that, but I was weft hanging.
Fuzzbee! Darn it!
I can so picture GCF doing this!
He does this to me every other Friday night.
*squeeze*
*squeeze!*
Play me like a drum!!!!!!
*finds sticks*
Are you sure?
*pulls up a chair*
*does a handstand*
just to mix things up a bit
sure as sh1t
I’m glad you got that one sewn up
the smell was unbearable
intertribal!!!! hey ya hey ha yayayaya whay….
a sweet drum!
*squeeze*
Nice to see you! Sew, how have you been?
I’ve been good. Nothing new. I definitely needle a vacation from work though. How have you been?
Urgh, my Andrew is in the hospital with a fairly nasty virus. But he’ll be on the mend soon.
Forecast, patchy in places.
strong chance of mud slides
*looks for boots*
This might prick a little …
i take my pants off while grandma fixes them
oooh!
its just safer to keep them on around some grannys
Case in point
*squeeze*
Yep, some grannies… well… we won’t name any names.
I think we did already, but ….
*squeeze*
*squeeze!*
3….2…..1
nom nom nom
Is that a weasel next to the kid’s head?
gerbil
Squirrel, always a squirrel watching you…
*leaves a trail of nuts*
*lies on the floor*
*holds thumbs*
*snaffles the nuts, whilst co ordinating fellow squirrels to attack*
AAAAAYYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Hey! That’s MY hole!
You mess with the squirrel, you lose your nuts!
*Tries to restrain himself*
*Fails*
Armageddon!
That’s a very disturbing little knick-knack.
Granny even has a very creepy little smile … *shudder*
Grandma doing the Hokey Pokey?
Patty wack, give the kid a. . . I can’t do this. . .
AAHHHH….. *mind bleach*
Sorry Zippycat.
naai mashien?
It’s a Lock!
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. Granny bent over, and Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.
Little boy blew. . . he needed the money.
Jack be nimble jack be quick
Granny help me to remove this candle stick
Hey, diddle, diddle…
(’nuff said)
Goosey, goosey, gander. . .
granny wants to pander…
Little Girl Blew — cuz she wanted to.
*hangs head in shame*
*goes into corner*
Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That f*ckin’ whore.
*GASP!*
*faints*
Jack and Jill went up a hill so he could touch her fanny. Jack got a shock, and a mouth full of c*ck ‘cuz Jill’s a fcuking tranny!
*snork!*
now where did I put my teeth?
!!!!!!!!
in the boys mouth
The worst part is that Grandpa ripped them.
Hairy palms vicar retirement village?
During a rousing game of Hide-the-Tchotchke?
Grandpa idolized his grandson?
Noooo Granny not again, I’ll be good, I’ll be good
Where else is a granny supposed to store her nuts?
When they swing free like that, you should watch they don’t get nibbled.
grandma needs a new sack
Papa’s got a brand new bag.
I’m sure Skrat has a nut sack for you…
He’s a bit too tight-fisted with it for my liking
I always keep a spare. You never know when it may come in handy.
*spins nut sack overhead and lobs it up to GCF*
Burlaps this will help!
Grandma what a big needle you have!
Prince Albert the old fashioned way?
I don’t think I want to get your point.
(That counts as my ‘learn something new every day’, right?)
Granny’s gonna learn ya real good
The scene in WildHogs with the GrannyLove.org thing. xD
From that angle- I suspect the Frenum!
does that exist?
Yes, yes it does……*is scarred for life*
*is scarred too*
Was your aim off with the needle?
*sprayS*
freak knitting accident, at least that’s what I told the Doc
*squeeze* byeee!
*byesqueeze*
What’s up with you people?
I don’t see anything wrong with this picture.
I remember when I was a boy falling down and bruising my testicles.
Then Granny’d kiss them to make the pain go away.
Everything has to be taken the wrong way these days, damn.
Is this Shari Lewis playing with Lambchops?
♫These are the pants that Grandma rent♪
♪ i’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts… ♪
♪ Yes they go on and off my friends. . .♪
♪ Sewing the seeds of love ♪
I’m gonna sew your ass shut and just keep feedin’ ya
and feeeeeeedin’ ya!
Grandma ain’t nuttin’ to f*ck with.
That’s cos it’s all sewn up.
actually I had a zip installed
Well, you wouldn’t want to get hemmed in.
and look the button still hangs out
*points*
*Button flies*
Button a lighter note, it looks like she was quite gentle with him.
lol
that’s awful
Bah, wake me for the next fail. Hopefully we can get something amusing today.
*Puts silly hat on sod*
Is that not amusing?
I’m in stitches!
*tapes “goose me” sign on sod’s back*
*gooses Judy*
Ha ha ha Ha ha ha!
*gooses Ms B!*
Ho ho ho ho ho ho…
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
*ganders @ Ms B*
♪ Sloth of Doom my friend don’t you start away uneasy. You poor old sod, you see it’s only me. . .♪
Not amusing, but a big, steaming stack of knick-knack FAIL!
Hey Granny…KISS THIS!!!
♫..and I don’t mean on my rosy red lips.♪
*SMOOOOOOOCHIES!*
poochies
kroooooochies
Cooties!
welcome to the C.C.C.
*squeeze*
why thank you!
*squeeze!*
I have a sickening feeling that gcf’s “C.C.C.” does not stand for “Cool Cats Club”…
:ew:
I was just thinking the same thing…
*snork*
That’s. Just. Awesome.
ya what does that C.C.C. stand for
snorkleinwaychienkaa.
Grannycatflap is coolcatsclub lol man that would be funny and cool at the same time. I would learn alot more about his sense of humour.
Aaaand there goes breakfast. As well as any desire for lunch.
:ick:
Whatcha doin’ for dinner?
The FailBlog diet. You?
I’m leaning strongly toward pizza and beer
you will be more leaning if you have more beer then pizza lol.
That’s it, I’m coming to your house for dinner.
OK, mentioning pizza is all I need to make this not be off topic: recent article from The Guardian, “The 50 best things to eat in the world, and where to eat them” has Best Place to Eat Pizza: Frank Pepe’s, New Haven, CT.
ht tp://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/13/best-foods-in-the-world
Are they snobby pizzas though? I am soooo not a pizza snob.
OMG, no! Check out their Web site. They are probably the oldest pizzeria in the US. This is not goat-cheese, artichoke-and-baby-vegetables pizza, if that’s what you mean.
booties
Look at the cute cow!
There also appears to be a mask with Kiss make-up on behind the patchwork teapot!
I think I need to shop here to decorate my front lobby. We’re looking to improve it!
Mardi Gras masks, inappropriate granny, and a cool cow. Nice
It almost looks like a Goodwill or Salvation Army. You can find some pretty cool stuff there…
Or an Adult Toy Store.
She’s a distant relative…from the Clay side of the family. Life was good for her until she was struck with the Kiln…never knew what hit her…she’s been hard ever since…so sad…
You bought that right?
why on earth would someone make this? Surely they must realize what it looks like!
A statue of Grandma Bobbitt?
If you know somethin’ well, you can always paint it but people would be better off buyin’ chickens.
~Grandma Moses
She was wise beyond her ears, that one.
Damn cougers, always going after the younger crowd.
Wow. Beyond disturbing.
Granny out of control!
Granny out of control!!!
Duraoc the parrot awk.
I say she’s in control. Total control.
Notice how much dust is on the kid’s crotch? “I’ll clean your lousy knick-knack, but even I have limits!”
So kinky
Sounds messy. I’d have to take you temperature to be absolutely certain. Say ah…no wait. Open up!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My mother has exactly the same figurine in the dinning room.. Hahaha..
it’s just HORRIBLE xD!
Grandmothers, huh? They have the strangest sense of humor.
Lol. My grandmother had a statuette just like this one. Slightly disturbing but still funny.
Think about poor Grandpa……….if this is how she does the grandchildren.
My how you’ve grown!
Oh god…. I have it. The same exactly favor. It’s right above my head in my bedroom…
I have this same EXACT statue that belong to my grandma. It’s not a fail. It’s a classic win!
It`s an old med`school teaching aid, demonstrating colonic irrigation actually.
Antique roadshow points to anyone who can find out when and where these things were manufactured.
man… my great grandmother had this statue, and now it’s at my mom’s house.
i always thought it was innapropriate, but i wish i had thought to submit it to failblog.
epic fail on my part.
Ahhhh!
Theres a bug on the floor! *squishes bug*
Oh no!
There is dust on the shelf! *brushes dust off of the shelf*
What the?!
There is a cheaper one on the otherside of the ile.
awww reminds me of my grandma!
I’d wouldnt say “fail” necessarily ;o)… looks like the guy scored big time! ;o) ha ha
My grandma has a statue like that. But different.
Obviously the kid has something important caught in his fly and to stop the bleeding he’s doing a handstand while granny stitches it up.
omg! I saw this same statue in the antique store and was gonna take a picture and submit it, but didn’t. Thanks for submitting this! lol
Seems like a win for granny here
Sew it up your ugly ass… I remember about the Big Bill Hells.
my grandma actually had this figurine.
it used to scare me…
It’s a Norman Rockwell statuette I think. Grandma had one cause she liked to sew. It’s cute but I always thought it was a little awkward too
Well he has a patch on his ass maybe he needs one up front as well….
This child appears to have hemorrhoids.
I’m truly disturbed by this sculpture. I just can’t understand how or why anyone in any time period would ever think it was okay… Tres tres fracked-up!
Lol, we have that figure somewhere. I remember it always disturbed me as a child.
OMG! We had the exact same when I was a kid!
oh my god, my uncle bought this at an antique store in mn, O MY GOD!!!!
Grandmas: even retired school teachers need love.
Why, golly! What’s wrong with nana fixing my trousers!?
It’s not every day you see a sculpture in your house on Failblog. o.o
That looks like a win for granny.
Big fail D:
OMG I saw that at a local Value Vilage and laughed my a-s-s off!!
My Grandma had this same figurine at her house. LOL!!!! I always thought there was something more to it.
my grandmother had this same figurine and i was ALWAYS a bit disturbed by it…happy to see i wasn’t the only one!
I would love to buy this figurine if possible-my grandmother has the other figurine and this one with granny is the one she’s missing…Is it possibly for sale?
at least we know she cares
If someone has this figurine for sale or knows where I can buy it, please reply to this…My grandmother has the grandfather with the little boy over his knee, looks like she’s getting a spanking with a shoe; she’s been looking for this for so long….HELP!
I wonder…. What is more wrong? Your humor or this picture.. But anyway, you all cracks me up! xD