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From the Southern Daily Echo. Pages did not appear next to each other, but were in the same issue on pages six and nine.
Picture by: nakedrich Submitted by: nakedrich via Fail Uploader
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Cheezburger Network Blog
he died
That’s funny, right?
duh’
Did he Died?
ok he died but did the paramotor died?
died he did, yes.
It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre the fighter pilot and says, “Pierre, kiss me!” He grabs a bottle of merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
“What are you doing, Pierre?” asks the startled Marie.
“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!” She smiles, and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up. Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.” He tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
“Pierre, what are you doing?” asks the bewildered Marie.
“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!” They resume their passionate interlude. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me lower!”
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of cognac and pours it in her lap. He strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms up and screams furiously, “Pierre, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Pierre stands up defiantly and says, “I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!”
*rofflesqueeze*
*roffletickle*
*snicker*
i don’t thing so
think, even …
I’m not interested in this fail
let’s not glide through this
*headdesk*
you’ll soon be needing a desk. …
(It is OK I have created the stuntdesk for this purpose)
I picture a normal desk with a 6″ thick replaceable rubber pad.
One day I’m going to slip some steak under K@’s head and have her tenderise it for me.
If there is one thing I have learned in life it’s that you should not slip meat under a woman without asking her first.
:SHOCK:
*facepalm*
Teehee, I’m picturing a little palm over the shocked face. He’d hurt his little eyeballs.
Wow Jules, just wow
…*is speechless*
I’m more concerned that Jules hasn’t been hitting the right spot.
‘X’ marks the spot, right?
No, I’m afraid you’re trespassing.
(_x_)
*snork*
Well isn’t it better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission?
There is no forgiveness for stealing that treasure. All you’ll get is cursed and skirvy.
Your plank won’t be fit for anything after that.
A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar. They sit down next to each other, get to talking and their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the Navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies with the other pirates.
The sailor notices that the pirate has an eye patch, a hook and a peg leg and asks, “How did you get the peg leg?”
The pirate replies, “When I was thrown off my ship and floated for two days until my crew rescued me, my leg was bitten off by a shark as I was being pulled out of the water.”
The sailor, impressed, says, “Wow. That’s very exciting. But how about the hook?”
The pirate smiles, shining the hook a bit, “When I was swordfighting with a pirate from our enemy ship for treasure, he took it right off.”
The sailor’s eyes were wide with awe at how badåss this pirate was, and he asked,
How did you get the eyep atch?” “Well,” says the pirate, shifting in his seat a bit, “a seagull shît in my eye.”
The seaman looks puzzled: “You lost an eye from gull shît?”
The pirate sighed and shook his head. “It was my first day with the hook.”
Hehehehe
*squeeze*
*snork!*
How about into?
no way i don’t believe it.
… all cuz he forgot to put on his cape.
the fail concept is a report about a death on one page and on the following page an ad to entice people to para-sail.
i say he dead
*Jumps*
*hopes*
*opens parachute*
*looks up*
WHO PUT AN ANVIL THERE!
*checks label*
ACME ‘CHUTES
*shrugs*
*holds up ‘Yikes!’ sign*
*eyes bulge*
*attempts to run in mid air*
Just don’t look down, you’ll be fine.
Just forget to fall.
There is no gravity!
or a situation
Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. You’ll just fall, make a dust cloud and a hole in the ground where you land, and then you can get up and walk away from it.
*falls head first into cliff overhang*
erm- no -one mentioned this bit
*collects k@’s bits and puts it with her pieces*
*squeeze*
Don’t go falling apart on me.
I have no intention of doing so!
*throws dangerous box of TNT over cliff edge*
*TNT lands on a trampoline at the bottom and bounces back up to K@*
*pulls out an umbrella*
*cowers*
GULP
*paramotor runs out of gas 1 foot before hitting the ground*
*pilot steps out of paramotor onto ground*
“Whew”
we’re not talking about atom bombs now, are we?
Damn toilet.
yeah… how dare the pilot plunger to his demise.
Meanest swirly ever!
If he was south of the equator he would have risen.
Is this the toliet humour thread or are you all yanking my chain?
Well, I have been known to have a potty mouth.
*flushes the remark I was going to make*
Mormon!!!
IRONIC JUXTAPOSITION!
That’s an ad for people who like a challenge…
FIRST!
NOT!
hahha you suck
to fly, you need to blow
Blowfly.
What a para articles to put next to each other…..
It’s plane obvious they did it on purpose.
They were just winging it.
There is bound to be some turbulence from this mix up.
He was airframed!
Who proofed the updraft??
They’re so busy trying to fix things, it’s like Flight of the Bumblebee in there.
John Denver gave it an ultralight perusal.
it’s the faith in communication which gets my attention.
Why does that parking charge fear the failblog.org council? Who’s in this council, anyway?
No one was to know of the council; their ways are ancient and sacred. For your own safety, do not pusue this any further.
does sue agree?
Purse U.
I graduated pseudo-cum-loudly.
I got counseled!
Suicide WIN!
What’s the newspaper name ? Suicide Daily ?
Ack, just ‘chute me now!
plunge you through this
*takes a leap, chutes k@*
*glides away to safety*
This looks like it’s just 2 different newspapers put next to each other….
look again
Definitely one paper: The Daily Echo, Hampshire, UK
“SPLUNGE!”
*is waiting for Aja*
That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!
*makes note: waiting for Aja is NOT a good idea, he says so himself*
)
(
*attaches ‘thread of the week’ award*
It just made me laugh.
I don’t know what you are talking about, but it is making me smile.
*squeezes*
I’d say the Ad alone is a fail. “Just agree to swap your home”? Yeah, here, have it.
Where is everybody?
*looks up*
oh.
We are on the ground.
*looks up* o How’s the weather up there?
Failed FAIL. page 6 and 9 of the paper actually so they were never shown as facing pages…..
I think you accidenty your action verb actually.
In my Opinion, if it was the same issue of the newspaper for both, it’s still an editorial oversight fail, to have those within 1 page-turn of each other, or even in the same issue.
Now, if they are from different days, shame on the original poster….
It’s a fake – the left hand page is page 6 and the right hand page is page nine.
They used page 7 and 8 to stop the bleeding.
Read between the lines.
*smacks Fake spotter with a rolled up newspaper*
*rubs Fake spotter nose in fail*
Bad!
Mopping up the arterial spotter.
You’re just mad your period’s irregular, you’ll be fine. Drink some tea.
Tea is bloody useless for that. If the spotter is menopausal, try starflower oil.
Ya gotta love the Bri-ish – “bloody useless”…
I hate tea, anyway, I was just trying to make him stop whining. How does the starflower oil work? Do you eat it?
I doubt it would work in suppository form, that’s for sure.
*snork*
Uh, how does me drinking starflower oil help Ms Skratdaddy with her period?
*ponders*
*hands Skratdaddy a starflower suppository*
Thanks butt no thanks.
A serious Nestea moment.
Ahhhh!
Paragliding for Christmas? What the hell — We tried skydiving last Christmas….
Not funny. Not the even same paper…
Does it matter? We have not been talking about the fail for the last hour now. See the fail is just an introduction to the topics that we will discuss, but discussions are not base on said fail.
Like Mock the Week f’r instance.
*tosses Jules and extra ‘d’*
*squeeze*
There’s a fail?
*lurks to remove Lurks superfluous ‘d’*
*facepalm*
Thanks, Jam.
*squeeze*
Hehehe, don’t thank me for being cheeky.
*squeeze*
*passes ‘d’s around to everyone, just in case*
Whyd, Thankd youd.
But…but…I studied! I should have earned an A!
*hands Ms B a ‘B’*
That work for ya, Ms BB?
*pouts*
I’m taking this up with the principal.
Is there a problem with your grade, Ms. B?
So, hang on…. You sell your house & they let you ride a paraglider?
Great Deal!
and by the time you relise what you did youl jump off the paraglider
Editing failure… that’s the exact font used in the ICHC editor.
Is it just me, or are the comments acting weirdly? They’re nested funny…
They only nest like that during the breeding season, when all the little comments are made!!
and its permanentley mating season
It’s a conspiracy I tell yo
ERRORTELL THE PEOPLE!!
error…error *squeeze* error…error
What I don’t get is the part about swapping your home over…
Just give them the deed to your home in July, and by Christmas you could be on a Paraglider over Cape Town!
by the time jou figure it out toull want to take a plunge
Deja Vu…
error
still need help to find a cretain badger
*sigh* Have You Looked in Schrodinger’s box?
Deja Vu, Deja Vu
deeeeeeeeejaaaaaaaaaaaaavuuuuuuuuuuu
hes in a magazine
Who, Schrodinger, or his cat?
ze badger(badginator)
And is he in the magazine – or not?
You can’t tell until you look.
Now, I can see missing the Y and hitting the J instead with his right hand, but he’s reaching all the way over into left forefinger territory to replace the Y with the T. Either he has a really awkward typing system or he’s picking it out with two fingers and really spells this way. Since none of his punctuation keys seems to work and the little red line under misspelled words is invisible on his monitor, I feel bad bringing it up.
its like you READ MINDS
it works but its a lot baster (i forget)
*ponders failinator’s origins, with “baster” in mind…*
Is that what happened to the Jr. Mint?
Ick.
Ick Bin Ein Berliner!
I meant faster stupid old keybord.
Yeah, blame it on the keybord.
Chair to keyboard interface problem.
As is so often the case.
The old PEBKAC error is a toughie to fix.
*snork*
I allways do (i just misstype) its the possition of the keys
It would appear that you have a ssstuttering problem as well while typing….
It’s OK D – you’re just voicing what we were all thinking, and we appreciate you for that
ratds baster noce ov u to sai!
i tipe fast so im pronwe to make mistakes
RED LINE UNDER MISSPELLED WORDS USE IT
Not shown on failblog.
He may not have his spellcheck activated. That does make a difference.
that makes sense
PSSSST – Avis – what about the IQcheck?
nonexistant
I meant the iq cheak not my actual iq>
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Sorry you must be this tall to reply———->
Ms B, what’s new?
Not much really, just trying to survive another day at work. I think I need a caffeine IV hooked up, though. I’m going to fall asleep at my desk today!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I beginning to suspect my ficus has internet access.
They frequently do.
I threw mine out and moved in with my GF.
My dog has believed intermet acces
Put your dog at the keyboard then, he can’t do any worse!
you dont know my dog
Our dog has intermutt access.
:::ba-DUM tisssshh:::
*snork*
*doublesnork*
*delete*
Failblog has a spellcheck?
*facepalm*
*snorksqueeze*
This is news to me to.
BROWSER-FROM-THIS-DECADE FAIL
Not Real Fail, Manufactured Fail
Still funny.
Real Funny, not Manufactured Funny.
Hee-clink-whirrrr-hee!
WN! you’re early!
My fiance did the same thing as the headline said–150 feet–and lived. I’ll show him this tonight.
He should be dead, but he’s not. They said he’d never walk again, but he does.
movie time
nice what game is it failinator. Good afternoon.
Ok people complain about “did he die” and “first” and “Photoshopped” well my beef is snork or snorkie or snorkle or any other combination of snork it is annoying and unintelliegent just like LOL that I add on sometimes. Thanks for letting me beef.
*yawn*
Clearly, you do not know what *snork* means.
I blame the French!
They were behind the Febreeze issue yesterday too.
*Chuckle*
Heya pretty lady.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
It would appear some people have no sense of humo(u)r.
Is DW accepting late applications, I know classes have started.
How is everything with the pretty bird today? Any good recipes on the horizon?
I am currently cooking tomato basil soup (no recipe, just winging it), canning one more can of tomatoes and later, a rustic tomato tart. My kitchen is a disaster zone.
don;t forget the ginger(fresh) Avis
Tomato disaster zone? Did you go on stage? :p
If you need more tomatoes, my 4 roma plants are trying to bury me in tomatoes! We did use them to make a wonderful homemade spaghetti sauce!
I most definitely do not need more tomatoes!! We bought 25 pounds last weekend and I still haven’t used the last three or four tomatoes. I’m gonna make more sauce and freeze it.
Well yawn back at ya Yvis what does it mean oh wise one?
Try going to the failpeeps site and looking it up.
How do you miss an “A” and end up with a “Y”?
It’s yn Yrt Form
*snorkitty*
STOP SNORKING KITTENS!!
Are you sure that’s 5E? Doesn’t exactly seem like his usual self.
*snorkroffle*
*squeeze*
stop Saygnight Gracie
No.
*snork*
*snorksqueeze*
*snorkitysnork!*
stop Ms B
*snork*
*snork*
*snork*
*snork*
*snork*
I hate you (just kidding) Ms B.
stop snorkitysnork whatiknow
*stops*
*collaborates and SNORKS!*
stop avis
*SNORKITTY*
You don’t get to make that decision.
“Cigars are bad for your health”
“Need cigars? Buy here”
*Buys*
did he died ?
Did that guy die during the shooting of that advertisement?
Is he died?
Died he is?
You are posting WAAAAYYY too quickly.
# Giant steps are what you take
Walking on the moon #
Is died he?
Iz he ded?
What happened?
Don’t you just love the irony?
My fiance said, “If he’d have been 150 feet up, he’d have been all right.
:-\
-have (2x)
(I typed it as I heard it, w/o thinking.)
Oh man…this is from my former local paper, the Daily Echo (I say former because I just moved house last night). I can vouch that pretty much the entire publication is Fail. Once a teacher at our school was (wrongfully) accused of a minor crime, which made front page news…but they couldn’t find a picture of him, so they just used some random guy in a wheelchair.
Concept:
S- Squat
P-Pray
L-Leap
A- Ahhh
T- Touchdown
Yes thats S-P-L-A-T.(SPLAT)
Funny, yes, if true, but these stories weren’t really on neighbouring pages, were they. Whoever took the picture just made it look like that. And they say the camera never lies…..
Time to plunge off guys. Woohoo!
LMAO!!!
This is great!
I hate my wife, and she loves extreme sports!
I just showed this to my mum and she said she knew about it because she arranged the funeral.
This would be better if it were actually the same paper and not staged…
I work for said paper, there were 2 pages inbetween and this was staged!
Also very sad as he died
Is it just me or is it two different newpapers next to each other?
Photoshopped because NO newspaper is stupid enough to use the horrible font IMPACT.
WOW sad thing is I know who, where, and what happened on that one….. I grew up in the town where it happened…
Revere psychology?