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this one’s gonna make dilly cry
I just read the comment after the vid…
Can blah tell the future?
Almost got em..
Scenic Walk Fail
Still not as bad as Andrei Kirilenko.
Classic
*ducks*
*beagles*
*gooses*
*lions*
*tigers*
*bares* — oh my!
*hyena’s laughing*
*snow leopards*
*chocolaterains*
then why you laughin at me???
*not just lions but MOUNTAIN LIONS*
Mounting lions?
*Fleas*
*Flees*
he prob just stretched a muscle a little too far and it surprised him.
*zombies*
clbuttic
did he died?
NO,but the ball did!!
not but the English language is slowly but surely dying.
Welcome to the Failblog and its very own rules of grammar…
Don’t forget Lolspeak.
Poor widdle baby! Did you hurt your arm?
No?
Ow ow ow… oooh ouch… no? not buying that, huh?
Can I still have ice cream after the game?
The batter fell apart at the seams (on that fastball).
Assault on the battery…not so much.
If he came after the pitcher he would have been cited with a missed the meaner charge.
At least he’s not a fellow knee…jerk.
a miss and a swing
I cry foul!
I guess that was a
strikeout.from an Ole Miss
misty-eyed for the missed batsman?
I’m Batman!
That Joker is Robin us of a fair-play match!!!
That’s not what you said earlier, why must you be so Two-Face(d)?
Why so serious?
Cluck Cluck Cluck (I’m crying fowl … )
*heddesk* *facepalm*
Here, sweetie, have an ice pack for your hedd.
… and here’s a pluck, pluck, fuzz fuzz for your faceplumage
fangkew very much!!
Did anyone see my Birdy? I knocked it away from the court.
Never do that when there’s cameras around!
Let’s bash some cheaters!
tbh he’s prob faking … however he is clearly wearing an arm bandage and it is possible that his elbow twinged … its also possible it twinged and it hurt and he over reacted. However I’m not 100% convinced he ‘cheated’.
…. but its pretty likely :p
(That was the sound of Hasabrain sucking the fun out of this video)
He might have been injured by the wind off of it…?
he does look wound up about the wound from the wind off the wind up
oh the madness in sports
Madness?! THIS. IS. SPORTa.
Yea – A new fail — that last one was getting tittious …
this one is fake hittious
The fake is really quite shittious
It appears quite invidious in videos.
As a plot to decieve, most insidious
A darth of honesty, most hideous
The trick he tried to pull was devious.
Doesn’t it make you furious?
And the one that was fake tittious was the previous fail.
“Yes, your, Honor, it was mental anguish. I thought the ball hit me and had a psychocomatic reaction…”
Ouch!!! Watch where you’re throwing those “zzzzz’s”! I’m injured!!
*speed-dials lawyer*
Whazzzzzzzzzzz the matter, Brewzzzzzzzzzzzki?? I don’t zzzzzzzzzzzzee anything wrong….
*squeeze* Ow! My eye! My beautiful eye!
MEDIC!!!
Sorry, Katz! See, I got rid of those nasty letters. Well, all but one for my name…
*squeeze*
Cookie??
Some one call medic?
OW! MA LEG
*falls*
Oh irony, how thou art cruel?
*passes out*
Someone call MEDICI!?
Oh italy, how art thou art patron.
Did someone say Patron???
*holds out glass expectantly*
*dials 3333* *Orders ambulance and pizza*
Yes please! nom crunch nom! Thanks!
Good afternoon. Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, how can we help you?
*snorkles*
*squeeeeeze!*
I’d like to file an injury claim for 10 million internets!
Certainly, sir! Just sign page fifty-three of this Contingent Fee Contract…no, don’t bother with all that fine print, it’s just a simple contract giving us a wee percentage of your settlement or jury award.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I can’t decide how I’ll spend all my internets!!!
*signs on dotted line*
(Oh, that should have been an evil smile.)
: twisted : (minus spaces, of course)
Thanks, ZA.
*pinches undead butt*
Ew, uh, it fell off.
Anybody got some disinfectant antibacterial cleaner?
*slowly and carefully repeats …*
Disinfectant antibacterial whatter? Trust me, that’s totally not necessary. It’s just decoration, but thanks anyway.
*carelessly slaps butt back in place*
*doesn’t notice it’s upside-down*
*gives ZA a pat on his putt*
That’s bassed-ackwards!
…and he’s been upended.
¿ʇıs ǝɥ 11ıʍ ʍoɥ ¡sǝʞıʎ
Wait a minute!!! 99.9999%?!?!
ARGH!!
yep — that’s the contingency fee!! If you win they get 99.99999999% of your internets …
No, sir, you’re reading that wrong. That would be your percentage.
Yea — uh huh — yes — that’s your percentage (of what is left after we take our cut) — yes — that’s right, 99.99999% (of .000000001%), yes — the rest we donate to charity, we are very charitable organization … ummmhmmmm
in the world where 2.00=.002
Oh, that’s just your opinion.
Charity begins at [the] home [office.]
you get 1 internet
before taxes
and user fees
And handling fees.
And the fees listed in Appendix B of your fine print.
and, sorry, but there will also be shipping – overnight delivery …
special messenger service
Don’t forget to insure that package, EM!
you now owe $45.00 USD
sorry, sorry, the page was wrinkled. That will be $45,000 USD doh, er 45,000 internets please
Of course there’s also the $.02 per page printing fee.
Let’s see … how many pages in one Internet? Hmmm.. Brewski Baby you’s in BIG trouble. Better hope that law firm you picked does not have “enforcement.”
Click and Clack!
PBS nerd! *points at self*
Evan Elpus
Joaquin D’Planque
“I’m sorry, Your Honor, I have the narcol……..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
oh, iy might have been funnier if I had said, “I’m sorry, Your Honor, I have the narcolep……..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
that’s funny……….rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hey now, I resemble that.
No, but most people can’t tell the difference.
*snerk* *pat* *pat*
Perhaps it was more Psychocomedic
Catchs zzzzzzzzzzz’s
*snores*
apparently wind hurts too!
whereAir breaks in!
Who breaks wind?
It wasn’t me, and I ain’t fixin’ it.
Sowwy, had mexican for lunch…
Judy!
Stop eating the Mexicans!
Well, at the job interview for the Border Patrol, they told me the meals were on the house…
I sure hope you only ate the smart kids!
I couldn’t catch them, they were too greasy.
OK, now even I’m ashamed of myself. Going to go wear sackcloth and ashes and flog myself.
Id say he was likely reacting to an obvious existing injury in his arm thats clearly bandaged up … just saying.
although either way thats gotta be at least an over-reaction.
Ya think?
Obviously not.
It needs more exercise.
Almost first!
If by “almost” you mean “not even close to”, sure.
Just listen to that crowd. They know he fails at acting.
He pulled a hamstring.
He got mugged.
That batter couldn’t act for beans.
Olé! Missed me! Missed me! Now ya gotta kiss me!
Thpppt!
*pops in*
*smooches Katz*
*pops out*
Tee hee!
You’ll never get to third base like that, Brewski!
Yeah, but she gave me a walk to first base, so I wasn’t going to pass it up!
*squeeze!!*
Good job.
True story from last week… My father drives onto a ferry and parks a couple feet behind the car in front of him. He apparently doesn’t get the parking brake fully engaged, and the car rolls slowly forward, and taps the car in front. The guy jumps out, yells at my dad, claims that his neck is seriously injured, and says that he’s going to call his lawyer.
There was no damage to the cars.
Some people really suck, ya know?
*squeeze*
Yes, people suck.
Yes, they do. I was in a rear-end accident 3 months ago. I was the lead car. The guy who started the whole mess (3 cars involved) took off, so I am left paying for my dr. bills (and my insurance). I had serious whip-lash…which is bad when you’re a butter cow…
In case you’re wondering, I’m on the mend, thanks to my chiropractor!
whiplash butter – on freshly baked bread….
*drools*
That sounds fab-oo!
Hey now, we do not eat our failfriends. Did you learn nothing from the
tastytragic fate(s) of Patricia?We’re just nomming the fruits of her… well…
*recalls prior fail*
Never mind.
What’s the matter, Brewski? Were you going to udder something???
Are you teatsing me?
*zips lips*
I’ll be as quiet as a titmouse.
Oh, you’re a birdwatcher? I like boobies, myself.
*sigh* You’re such a dodo sometimes, Brewski.
Personally, I learned not to forget the A-1 next time.
*RIGL*
Patricia… Yup, she was that important…
Glad you’re on the mend. *gentle squeeze* Sorry that jerk didn’t stick around. Have a cookie! *offers cookie plate*
Thanks, Katz!
*nomnom*
Yummy…what kind are these? They taste really familiar…
*gentle squeeze*
That really sucks. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
They’re butter cookies –
I thought I was missing some butt…erm…..heeeeyyyy!
*notices missing butter rump*
This will be fun explaining to the hubby…
The “uninsured motorist coverage” on your policy should cover that, SuzieQ, check that out.
It is, but I’m pretty sure my insurance rates will go up. That’s what sucks…clean record for the past 6 years and now this…grrrr… Not only that, but 2 weeks prior to that, my husband got rear-ended as well…and the chicky-poo claimed he backed into her! Yeah, sitting at a stop light…on a hill…going downhill…hmmm, think I’ll put my vehicle in reverse…
Ok, I know next to nothing about insurance, but why should your rates go up because someone else caused an accident?
Sometimes they do, but not always. Usually a single non-fault accident won’t. Perhaps there’s somebody more knowledgeable than me that can comment on this?
Actuaries figure statistical odds, so sometimes even if you’re not at fault, your rates will go up. e.g., you aren’t defensive enough, or you drive in a dangerous area, or your car has a target painted on the bumper, etc.
I know my folks rates went up when we moved to a bigger city. That part I get. Also the whole rates are lower after you turn 25, if you took driver’s ed. and things like that, that makes sense. To me, at least.
And Nightshayde, that makes sense, and is something I would probably know if I drove. Ever.
and if you get renters insurance through the same company.
If the other person vanishes & there are repair costs (and medical costs), you have to file with your own insurance or pay out of pocket. Any time you make a claim & the insurance company has to pay for something, they’ll raise rates.
It shouldn’t be that way, but when your insurance renews its rates, they look at everything; including any accidents you may/may not have caused. It’s not right, by any means, but when they have to pay for dr.’s visits, ambulance service, and a trip to the E.R., they have to recoup that somehow… The same thing happened to me years ago and that was before the age of 25 rate drop. My insurance will raise the rate. They state that in the policy. When that happens, it will be time to shop for insurance.
*is now really glad I don’t drive*
Honestly, the drive home on Monday was the only thing that saved my mood. (At least until that 2×4 landed on my head.) I love to drive, and crank my music up waaaaaayyyyyyy loud as I cruise down the freeway.
2×4? Um… what did I miss?
I hate to drive, and didn’t even learn ’til I was 22! Even then, I only drove once after getting the license. When I moved to Chicago, they said to switch it over I’d have to take the test again. As I had zero desire to drive in this city, I just got a state ID.
Oh, I just had a rotten day on Monday. Then when I finally got home for the day a 2×4 in the garage fell on my head. Not. A. Good. Day.
What a perfect end to a lovely day!
/sarcasm
I hate days like that. They happen WAY to often!
Um…just how often does a 2×4 fall on your head, Avis??
*thinks that this might explain a lot*
*ducks!*
*sigh*
Never actually. This is natural.
:p
It’s happened to me before, but I forgot how to count how many times. I think it’s a good thing because I don’t want to know, but I fear it’s a bad thing because it’s something someone should know.
(Actually it’s not the 2X4 knocks that bother me, it’s all the times I’ve had my head sliced open with windows and truck bumpers and stuff. I fear to count that high I’ll have to raid a graveyard – or two.)
I hope you’re feeling better Ms B and don’t have to many more days like that. They ain’t fun.
*nods* people suck like a vacuum. *squeeze*
Did your father beat him up at least after that?
♪ Oh, take me out to the bull crap game. Take me out to the crowd.. ♪
♪ You’re cheatin’ heart…♪
Dragon and Loz will be glad your watching the blog grammar like that!
It’s a little pet peeve of mine…though I can’t seem to catch my own…
…or Brewski’s.
*snickers*
Saw that…gave him a pass…
*pssst!*
Suzie! I’m glad you changed your avatar back, I like it!
Yea!! Butter Cow is back!! I missed you little cow…
(I’m gld Brewski mentioned it so I could clear my cache)
…and there was much rejoicing!
*stamps WIN on Suzie’s forehead*
We thank you for joining the Grammar Poice and doing your job so diligently!
But I hate the Poice!!
Nightshayde (and I think Elsa_Mama) said she missed the cow on another fail, and honestly, I did, too! Changed it back last night…I feel like myself again,
Hmph. What am I? Chopped Liver?
Brewski started another list! Run, Brewski! Run!
*pâté, pâté, pâté*
Nah, you’re in a class all by yourself, NS! (in a good way)
*squeeze!*
I seem to often succomb to the dreaded “list syndrome”. I just never learn!
As long as it’s not the dreaded comb-over…
If I ever do that, I want you to walk up and tell me “You’re FIRED!”
We deal with a local businessman who comes in here and has the worse comb-over EVAH! It’s so hard not to stare at it…!
(And I was referring to your misspelling – “succumb”)
Oops.
I allmost never mispell. How embarassing. Thanks for corecting me!
♪♫You’ve cast a spell on me…♫♪
Get a room you two. Corecting right in front of everyone, show some modesty!
What can I say, we’re exhibitionists! Would you like to watch one of our co-rectal examinations?
*eyes Brewski suspiciously*
Well — since you’re kissing up so nicely, I’ll let it go.
This time.
*squeeze*
I didn’t, but it doesn’t look like he caught it yet. He’s probably still down there V with all the beer and pizza.
Nope, ‘ol Hank dropped out of school in Oct of 1939 at the ripe old age of 16. Roy Acuff once said about Hank; “You’ve got a million-dollar voice, son, but a ten-cent brain.”
So there…Na Nuh Na Nuh.
*hugs SuzieQ*
Damn, should be UP THERE!! ^^
He ain’t never found no use for none of that fancy book learnin junk nohow.
That pitcher couldn’t hit the fraud side of an arm.
*snork*
Nice
Well played sir. *Golf clap*
Um…could you help me find my socks, please?
Are they White Sox or Red Sox?
I think I saw one land behind the bleachers…
The pitcher responded perfectly.
“Sh!t. Hit another one. They’re gonna throw me out of the game for sure, this time”
I mean, when you see someone do something stupid like this, instead of getting in a brawl or beaning him, you strike him out.
Which is why I never will be a pitcher in a baseball game. The evil bastard in me would win out and I would make absolutely sure to nail that whiny little faker right in the temple with a 100 MPH+ fastball.
Well, you know what they say, the quickest way the heart of a man’s brain is a 100 MPH+ fastball through his temple … to your stomach.
Oh sure, “they” say. Who listens to then anyway?
Well, you know what they say, those who don’t listen to then are doomed to repeat their spelling error in time.
Curse you fingers!!!! Curse you!!!!!!
I see. I quit watching the video after the slomo…
Aw, you missed the best part!
♪ Dora the Explorer
Dora the Explorer
CUM on! ♪
Swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping.
*Boots Starfish*
Oops!! Sorry.
*squeeze*
It’s ok.
*pulls squeeze out of Backpack and gives it to Jam*
Starfish! Long time! Where ya been? Chasing scallops around the seafloor?
I’m pretty sure I saw him on Nickelodeon. He was palling (sp?) around with a yellow sponge and a weird-looking squid.
He should have fake charged the mound.
Then they could’ve thrown fake punches at each other.
that’s real funny
Not fake funny?
Is that a true hypothetical question?
Hey, it’s a Sham…WOW!
I figured they’d throw a player out for a trick like that, but maybe they realized that would just help him rob the other team of his impending strike-out. Anyone know the rules on something like this?
Ultimately it’s up to the umpire. They could consider something like this as ‘unsporting behavior’, but this is rare enough that it probably isn’t worth the bother. Usually people get thrown out for fighting or for throwing a temper tantrum. Lou Pinella is a great example of how to get thrown out of a baseball game.
Geez, and I thought Ole Miss sucked (Southern Miss for the win!).
..was pretty funny, though.. Did the dude even throw the ball?
Did you watch the video?
…are you serious? Southern Miss? Do they still exist?
Well, he was just being cautious. He thought the ball was going to hit him fo sure.
*Shy*
Soo, after months of reading and observing and stuff I decided to register, and um… Hi?
Welcome! We always welcome lurkers-turned-posters!
Aw, thank you.
And I’m trying to get my avatar to work but I’m either doing something wrong, or am unworthy of having one.
Are you using Gravatar?
No. And i don’t particularly know what that is. Oh, i must be doing something horribly wrong.
Go to gravatar.com and follow the instructions there. That’s the only way I know to get a “custom” avatar.
Another way is to set up a blog on wordpress & come up with an avatar for your profile page. The wordpress site is linked with gravatar (that’s how most of the cheezpeeps do the avatar thing). When you log into your wordpress account & then visit here, your posts automatically show up with your avatar without having to type your user name here.
If you want the freedom to put up creative names & link to different sites (setting a clickie on your name), you should stick with just gravatar rather than doing the wordpress thing. I can’t change my name or my linkee on posts unless I log out of wordpress.
Now I know. Thank you!
Hey there, want some nuts?
*its a squirrel thing*
Uuum. *Suspicious* Yes, please?
I keep them in a sack. They are very handy.
*gives inwazyja a couple of nuts*
Hope you like them!
Stop trying to haze the innocent noobie, we all know what those nuts are really made of.
*Still suspicious* And what exactly are they made of?
You don’t want to know.
Yes, yes I do.
*snork!*
I can’t hold it any longer. I was trying to see how long I could go before you realized I was joking.
Evidently I’m not a prankster.
I wasn’t exactly serious in my suspision either but oh well, nevermind.
These nuts have some coon-ass (cajun(south Louisianna)), a bit of Irish, a smidgen of German, with a tiny bit of African mixed in. Quite the mixed bag.
..And knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe!
It sometimes takes a few minutes. Don’t worry too much over it.
Hi Inwazyja! Woo, that’s a tough one to spell.
Have you read the FAQ?
failpeeps.wordpress.com
Click on “Faqity FAQ” or something like that.
Right! Thank you! I have read it sometime ago but must have missed that one out.
And come on, it isn’t that hard to spell ;(
It may not be that hard to spell, but how the hell do you pronounce it?!?
Um… Invazya?
No it’s not. It’s like Invasyia? Does that even make sense? I’m sorry, I’m quite rubbish with english phonetics.
Um… Czech???
No, but close! Polish. Living in the UK.
Don’t worry, you’ll be dubbed with a nickname soon enough!
(I’ll try not to call you Inny…or even Audi, for that matter.)
But welcome!
*offers inn…erm, I mean inwazja a cookie*
Thank you! *Takes the cookie and eats it* It isn’t poisoned, is it?
The only thing you need fear from Dragon is her sneezes. Just avoid standing directly in front of her when she’s feeling allergic.
Yeah, those sneezes can be hazardous.
*pats hair to make sure it’s still there*
I’ll definitely keep that in mind.
Oh, and just out of pure curiosity. Where did you get the “Audi” from?
She won it!
*snorkgiggle*
The Audi reference can be found here:
failpeeps.wordpress.com/epic-fails/
Ms B ♥, shame, shame on you!! lol! ROFL
Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks! Knowing how to say it makes it easier to type. For some reason.
welcome
I could show you, but I’d have to remove my tongue first. That won’t bother you much, will it?
lol … that’s some brilliant* tongue-twisting right there
*not dumb at all
“Stop playing with your tongue and eat your brains!”
MOOOOOMMM!!!
ZA’s arm is on my side of the backseat again! Make him put it back on!!
ROFL!
*RIGLMAO*
*squeezes the newbie* Hello!
*Shyly squeezes back* Hi.
I too am pretty new. I don’t do squeezes yet. LOL, welcome.
We have to remedy this, STAT!!
*squeeze*
*quickly joins in the squeezes*
Gotta do the squeezes!!!! LOVE the squeeze!!!
I didn’t scare you, Inwazyja, did I?
No, not at all. *Very scared indeed*
I generally refrain from squeezes myself, for obvious reasons. The living typically gets pretty grossed out when you get decaying organic matter all over them.
I don’t care, I have a strong stomach!
*squeeze*
Eeew. Maybe I’ll rethink that…
*offers up a clean ShamWow*
@inwazyja/jazzy: If you’re uncomfortable, just say so. We certainly wouldn’t want that. It’s just a greeting for good friends. Nothing perverted or anything.
I was just joking…
SQUEEZES are just fine….I hadn’t gotten that er…friendly yet!
I already know to avoid ZA…a gentle pat for him….oops…oh crap was that his ear?
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZES Jazzy*
Really? It’s not supposed to be perverted?
*pokes Judy*
*giggles*
Hey, that tickles!
*picks up glowing E.T. finger*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*runs after dragon*
You hiccuped!! I heard you!!!
You
poke
you
pay!
:[
We are serious.
:[
Teehee!!
Do not laugh at her sign ↑
She is serious :[
Welcome to both of you!
*passes out nuts for everyone*
Exactly how many nuts were you born with anyway?
Let’s see….born with 2. Started experimenting around 12 or so…then twice a day, more or less, for 30+ yrs…I’d say I have enough to share.
*squeeze*
I join in the welcome to all former lurkers!
*passes out in front of everyone*
*picks sleeping Judy back up and stands her up*
*opens eyes groggily*
Whozzat…..WN! Haven’t been able to catch you at your lunch for ages!
*squeezies ‘n smoochies*!
Judy, it’s been rare but more likely to happen now that school’s back in session.
During the summer I tended to go home at lunch. Can’t do that now due to the risk of finding no parking place upon my return.
So… I’ll FAIL more often
SQUEEEEEEEEZE!!
*high fives WN*
Aw, you’re always a WiN with us!
So where’s the former lurker formerly known as lurk? (FLFKAL)
Welcome, and good for you for posting! They had to lure me out of lurking with bait.
It’s a faking win and an injury fail. The faking is top notch considering the ball wasn’t even close to hitting him.
*facepalm*
B nice, Ms, Soylent is people
Well, whatdya know.
I don’t understand. Is it a win or a fail? What happened there?
I’ll tell you what happened. It was a squeeze and run.
Yup!
Uh huh!
*squeezes and runs*
I like those squeeze plays.
heh … just don’t off yourself, good buddy
(as in the kill kind of “off” — not the little death kind)
La petite mort?
No no no, I never ever do that. Except on days that end in “Y”.
Perhaps hockey? In the crease, slapshots, body checks? Football/soccer? Headers, dribbler, center spot? I don’t know that any of them make for very good metaphors!
Figure skating?
How about Nascar? Bump draft, on the pole, lapped, in the chase…hey, those aren’t half bad!
not bad at all — and you, such a fast girl
I do my best work at the track!
heh … what goes around and around, comes again and again.
*super-snork*!!!
Ah, those Talladega Nights!
Lol…Judy, you might like this very memorable pun-run the Admiral and I (and some others who didn’t know Rule #4 yet) had a while back!
ht tp://failblog.org/2008/10/03/trolley-fail/#comment-123125
Funny stuff! Looks like Admiral was the lucky dog in that race!
(I miss Lunchbox…)
I do, too. I was thinking of him the other night, what with all the fires in California and the deaths of those firemen. I mean, I know he’s not in California or anything, but I always think of him whenever I hear news like that…
obviously I’m on the outside or I have a terrible memory, what happened to him?
He posted less frequently when he started taking classes and then stopped all together. He was on MySpace, I think…I don’t know if he keeps in touch with anyone there.
Lunchbox is a fireman irl.
i’m down, pass it this way… I mean, um, what’s that mean??
Oh and sorry I’m so late!
You’re late?!?!?!
Yup. I think I’m knocked up and it’s Brewski’s. He did smooch me earlier and that’s how Mom said babies were made.
N/P
SQUEEZE PARTY!!!!
*brings in pizzas*
It’s my 10th birthday party all over again. Throw a party and nobody comes.
Must have forgotten to mail the invitations again. *wanders off*
I’m in KVD!!
*noms pizza*
WooHOOO!!! Party!!!
*throws streamers*
*squeezes Skrat and Katz*
I brought the beer. Because, well, because I’m Brewski!!
*grabs a slice of pizza*
YAY! *squeezes Brewski and Skrat, pops open a beer*
Being Wednesday, I knew I’d find a party if I traveled further down the thread! Thank you to the kind party organizers! Uh, Brewski, got any cold, domestic beer in that cooler?
I’ve got Blue Moon.
*offers one to Judy, KVD, and Brewski*
Oops, sorry!!
*tosses one to JazzyGirl*
OoooOOOoooh! I almost missed a party!
*squeezes all around*
*gives virtually all remaining squeezes to Ms B*
*pounces and squeeeeeeeezes WN*
I seriously miss you, dude!
awwwwwwwwwwwww – you sweet, Ms B!
I miss you too.
Hey, don’t bogart the WN!
*hugglesqueezes*
*passes out from overabundance of smoochersqueezehuggles*
*smiles in sleep*
*WN Squeeze*
*extra Judy and Ms B squeezes*
Domestic beer? Mais, bien sur!
*grabs a sixpack of Brooklyn Lager off ice, passes around*
I think that will do nicely, Brewski! My thanks!
Ah, icy cold! Just how I like it!
Do we have any Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy left?
Hmmm… *digs in cooler*
Only 2 left, but they have your name on them!
Woohoo, a party! Just what my Wednesday needs.
*squeezes to all*
why thank you.
I’m in!!! Will “nom de za” while working.
Hee-hee – ‘nom de za’ – I like it!
And tonight, for l’entree, I ‘ave prepared ze most delightful deesh… I call eet “nom de za”.
Just don’t nom de plume, okay…that’s just nasty.
You also don’t want to nom de guerre, the results could be explosive.
Hey now, I’m supposed to be nomming on you folks, not the other way around!
It’s a win and a fail. Like, 2in1!
If you’re referencing what I think you’re referencing, I never understood where the “win” was in that. It’s more like “this is what your daughter will be doing if you don’t teach her to love learning and there isn’t a strip club nearby”.
I wasn’t referencing anything, really. I was just trying to be sarcastic, or something. Sorry *Blushes in shame*
awww….no need to blush. You sound like a very gentle soul.
Hug.
Thank you! I think…
*fails to recognize or acknowledge this “shame” thing of which you speak*
Never take a zombie to seriously – unless he’s trying to eat you of course.
*thwacks Brewski*
Just cuz I knew what you were thinking.
NOOOOOOOO!!! Oh thank goodness you didn’t go there. We are completely out of Brain Bleach™!
….man with a large package of……
…. red pepper for the impending delivery of ….
….his dinner which had been…
For the full effect, he should have fake-collapsed onthe ground, twitching. LOL
Pshaw — he should have let his arm fall off.
It’s only a flesh wound!
I got better!
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
I’ll bite your legs off!!
FB! Stop eating my comments, PULEEEEEAZE!
*stops nomming*
*urp*
Sorry! Lunch was extremely unsatisfying!
I think it ate one of mine too. Instead of risking a double post, I just gave up. I guess I lack motivation today.
What a douche.
douché !
touché!
Ouché! *rubs arm* That hurt!
Outré ! That guy’s reaction to an inside pitch was outside the zone.
pouché
*where I keep my nuts*
Pray, tell, Skratdaddy, are they roasted and salty?
*in Love Master voice*
“Steamed and salty, Baby”
Perfect! I’ve got a new recipe I wanted to try out.
*gets out the Slap Chop™*
Now, hold still, this won’t hurt as much if you don’t move…
AHHHHHHH!!!!
*covers nuts and scurries up nearest tree*
*SNORKITY-SNORK!*
not as good as an english footballer, they have lessons in faking.
Lessons? I just watched When Harry Met Sally.
I’ll have what she’s having.
Wait a minute. Some girls….fake it?
*is having a “Sixth Sense” moment*
(Pssst, Starfish – Bruce Willis is dead.)
WHAT?!!!
NOOOO!!!!
Oh, yeah, right. And I bet Princess Leia is his sister too, huh?
*says haughtily*
The Empire will be defeated by Ewoks.
(Clickie!! Clickie!! Robot Chicken Star Wars Clickie!!!!)
OH DEAR! Love it, sweetie! Thanks!
*Scuttles in*
*Gives “Whadafuh” face*
*Scuttles out*
“Scuddlefuh?!”
Eek a mouse! *squeakysqueeze*
I thought Jason’s mother was the old lady in the upstairs window at the Bates Motel?
Nice to see you Qwaz!
*squeezes*
Yeah, same here.
*snorkroffle*
*squeezes*
*snork*
Kevin Lomax doesn’t die. John Milton is Satan
Damn, my font thingy did not work!
*giggle*
♪ Take me out in the ball game,
I’ll fake you out ’til the crowd
Throws at me peanuts and Cracker Jack,
Trust me, I love it, it’s just like crack.
Make them boo, boo, boo at my dumb scheme,
I do not feel ashamed…
For if you WANT! TO! WIN!, then you cheat
in the oooold… baaaalll… gaaaame! ♫
*snerk* Mmm…Cracker Jack. *squeeze*
That stuff actually is pretty frickin’ awesome. I used to eat tons of it when I was little.
I still do, but tell my 6 yr old that he can only have a few. And only if he doesn’t forget to chew.
*THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*
*bows*
I had to practice non-stop for all of 5 minutes to sing that.
sounds like a (seventh inning) stretch
*grabs glowing E.T. finger from Brewski*
*sneaks up behind Shadow*
WELL, HELLOO-O-O-O-O THERE!
*jumps*
Aaaaah!
*turns, pulls out sixguns, and fires three shots at the sound (it’s a reflex)*
Yeesh, Judy, don’t do that. You’re lucky those shots missed.
You’re lucky I didn’t have it switched to “ON”!
*Psst*
*Squeeze*
*Slinks out*
(Psst!)
*squeezes back*
Is our pool done yet???
Yea I got the hotel pool whenever it is open. The one at the house is going to have to be rebuilt.
I’m going to be a killjoy to do and say the dude probably tweaked something after swinging like that.
What sport is this ?
Yahtzee. Ever play?
Obviously you’re not a golfer.
It is the greatest game ever, this is Alpine Skiing.
I thought it was Role Play Horny Chat?
Blernsball!
Griffball. It’s annoying yet you can’t stop playing.
A sport?! THIS. IS. MADNESS!.
snooker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t be afraid to pump your arm after first showing it was hurt.
*Scuttles back in*
Great, now I’m hooked on xkcd. (for the select few to never hear of that, it’s not a harmful drug. Oogah boogah boogah.)
However, I’ve found the future of the internet!
Oh. It seems we have a reputation to live up to.
Ha! En garde! Have at ye, foul troll! Go back to the depressing hole from whence you came!
Qwaz is no troll! At least after his first day…
I wasn’t referring to Qwaz. Besides, Qwaz is a robot. He’d just laser me to death.
Sowwy!
For what? It was an honest mistake.
Now… en garde!
Pret. Allez!
Ha! Ha! Ooh, touché!
Arret!
Touch for Shadow. Shadow 1, trolls 0.
*Finds laser*
*Dusts it off*
*Just… stares*
*Glances at Shadow*
*Glances at laser*
No…
*Walks to edge of cliff*
*Tosses it in general direction of STS’s ball*
Yea, sorry if I caused it. Its great that he updates it every monday, wednesday and friday.
My work here is done!! See y’all in the am, pm, whatever.
Later, nutcase.
Likewise, later all!
*Brewsqueeze*
Last post! Yes!!
Don’t take it!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
No one thought I could possibly leave that alone did they?
Ms B, I’ve got a few new posts up, if you’re interested in cooking at all. Clickie!
The soup & chili sound yummy. I make a similar chili, but instead of beef broth I use a dark beer.
I’m definitely trying your corn salsa recipe, it sounds awesome! In fact I’m visiting friends this weekend and I think I’ll make it to bring.
I did read your posts the other day. I do follow you pretty regularly. Sorry to hear about your mama’s purse! I think I will have to try the chili!
meh.
lol probably a liberal
wow….
Or a pinko commie.
Or a capitalist razorback.
This and Formel 1 are the most boring sports in the world.
No there is nothing to argue about this.
You have the formula for a fail right there.
Baseball is a Spectator Sport Fail.
Frightful Fake Fail.
They really should bean him in the head after this.
Good evening, FailBlog! Ermm… Anyone still around?
Chan!
Looks like I got here just in time.
Qwaz!
*Squeeze*
How’s it going?
*Squeeze*
Quite well, I’d say.
I spent a great deal of money (from a 14 year old’s perspective) of money in the name of looking awesome today.
And yourself?
Money of money!!
Massive brain fart brain fart it seems.
Good evening as well.
*squeeze*
I have been gone because of school.
Of course of course.
Hmm. Where’d frenchy frenchy go?
…Which does not look awesome.
If anyone could make it look awesome, it’s you.
Hehe!
*Dons new Ray-Bans, sexy new watch, and Escape the Fate shirt*
Tommorrow’s gonna be a good day at school, I can feel it.
Well, like I said.
Awesome looking.
*Is jealous. Wants new things*
We should go shopping together, Chan. Then we can take solace in the fact that neither of us can buy new things.
Woo! I love not-shopping-shopping! Sounds like a plan.
Alright.
Spent a great deal of money (from a 22 year old’s perspective) that I don’t have and had to borrow in the name of education today.
What are you getting edgumacated in that requires a loan?
Electronic Engineering Technologies. It’s a two year diploma program, then an eight month bridge course, followed by a further two years to achieve a Bach of Eng degree. Many monies involved.
I’m in 12th grade and school ends June 4th AND COMPLETE FREEDOM……WOOO!!!!
*Didn’t see “further education” in that post anywhere*
I guess it’s to be expected…
*sigh*
Yeah, I’m going to become a doctor.
*Looks in mirror with pride*
(Can’t post much today, bandwidth slow. Only works on one computer. The ISP must’ve gotten wise to uTorrent. Ugh! Just when I had mustered up the courage to ask a girl out on a date.
I wanna take up law. In the defense variety.
Not that any of us know her, but still.
And Captain, who’s the
desperatelucky lady?Unfortunately, I’m the desperate one. I kinda suck at…appearance…and…not coming out as creepy…and…life.
Unfortunately for you, a gentleman doesn’t bite and tell. (Okay, that was extremely forced in there…And that’s what she said.)
But in actuality, I want to become a game designer.
Defense law… That’s cool. Lots of work, getting there, though!!
Yea good luck. CO, welcome to my field. Well I can’t welcome you yet, I still haven’t dipped my feet in it. I am just finishing my last semester of it.
Work I’m willing to commit to!
These things happen sometimes.
*squeezes fellow wastelanders*
I have this one year of college left and then, *flinches* Full time work.
Woo! Hooray for work!
Oh, and also, *Squeeze!!*
Granted it is something I love so I will never work a day in my life. I enjoy being allowed to pursue my passion, the money to survive is just a bonus.
*squeezes all wastelanders*
Gotta do what you love! Or otherwise you’ll probably end up killing yourself. Most likely. Probably.
I’m going to college too.
A quote: “college is the best 4 years of your life after that your //:::
//::
// UCKED”
You’re in trouble I guess.
*Sigh*
I’d love to pun run for you, but I have been kinda in a hurry lately.
Random, obscure video/ song. Then off to bed. Night all!
…And lyrics!
Have you seen the well-to-do
Up and down park avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
With their noses in the air
High hats and Arrow collars
White spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime
For a wonderful time
Now, if youre blue
And you dont know where to go to
Why dont you go where fashion sits
Puttin on the ritz
Different types who wear a daycoat
Pants with stripes and cutaway coat
Perfect fits
Puttin on the ritz
Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
Trying hard to look like gary cooper
Super-duper
Come, lets mix where rockefellers
Walk with sticks or umberellas
In their mitts
Puttin on the ritz
—— short instrumental break ——
Tips his hat just like an english chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy
Very snappy
Youll declare its simply topping
To be there and hear them swapping
Smart tidbits
Puttin on the ritz
NOTE: Video doesn’t actually become amazing until about the 3 minute mark.
NOTE: Video length is 2 minutes and 59 seconds.
*fakes being FRIST !*
i’m really enjoying the diablog between everyone here. you guys should write a show (maybe put Judy/smurfette in charge of drafting up the network contracts). very witty and funny. just what i need to jump-off the day. thanks!
thats my hogs… woo pig sooie
Noob
wow what a fatass retard. he didnt flinch util 3 seconds after the ball was caught
i say im god
i used to do that all the time in little league. before cameras were so common, I got away with it.
He was just practicing for soccer on tuesday…….
Come on someone has to test their faking injury somewhere….
surley eh double fale. fal won he fake fale too he stike owt
♫Same old Arkansas, Always Cheating♫
double fail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I rember seeing this game on TV and watching this guy make a complete ass of himself.
It amused me then, and it amuses me still.