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lol … a swing and a mess
Kinda “Happy three friends” style
WIN
yeah .. win win …
What? Did I win?
No
Did You Win?
In war, nobody wins…
EXCEPT ME!
I don’t think the war would end before somebody actually wins..
Philosophy ftl..
Let’s bash some swingers!
i wonder what happend next
They tried again. They always try again. 4 times. Someone will always get hurt the 5th time. Always. Use the force, Luke!
The funeral.
More like Tarzan.
Actually, more like gorge of the jungle
WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!
My George rises at that.
Where be your vines now? Your game pals? Your calls?
…your flashes of loincloth that were wont to set the jungle on a roar?
Not one now, to smack your own grinning? Quite chop-tree fallen?
His friends pronounce it hore-hay!
They always have.
he hit the hay?
Happy Three Friends? I though it was Happy TREE Friends, Idoit.
Idoit? Thought it is IDIOT
Spelling errors abound! X3
Thought it is idiot? Thought it was “Thought it WAS idiot
”
lol, nice.
fail
“Happy Tree Friends”
Good analogy though.
Happy TREE Friends. not Three….
that was sweet. minus the fail
…well that just strikes it.
Now hes dead
Man! His friends didn’t see that coming? He saw nothing coming obviously! Wow the brain power there is astounding!
DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCKKKKKK HEAD
Looked more like a sling-shot to me.
nobody knows the trebuchets I’ve seen
i love trebs… i’ve seen many a beautiful gravity bucket:)
Sent trippin’ on all fours.
♬ You spin me right ’round, baby, right ’round! ♬♬
i thought it looked like more of a grip fail than anything
“Ambition without intelligence is a bird without swings.” ~ Salvador Dali, kind of
Unfortunately he was wrong…
But I showed him!
“Ambition without intelligence is the mother of all swings.” Saddam “damn, am I still dead?” Hussein.
That guy was known for going off on a tangent.
That’s just a slanted opinion.
I don’t think he crossed the line though. He needed more height.
He definitely needed a different vector if he was hoping to reach escape velocity.
He wanted to fly high, like the angles.
That was acute reference, fluffy!!
Dammit…I should have kept reading. I cribbed someone else’s pun!
*goes to eat some pi instead*
Hey DW – I thought of you and Nightshade a second ago. msn. com has the headline “Whitney Houston’s back.” What’s wrong with her back I think — click — Oh — she has a new album — so sb Whitney Houston IS back …
Techniocally I did not interupt this pun run, since i responded to DW post about cribbing, not her pun post — so don;t shoot me — lol
Veery funny.
Man was born to love-
Though often he has sought
Like Icarus, to fly to high
And far too lonely then he ought
Well — that is technically a correct use of the apostrophe. I probably would have looked to see what was wrong (or right) with her back — but there is nothing wrong with the form.
She + is = She’s
Whitney Houston + is = Whitney Houston’s
Yah. The problem with that sentence isn’t grammar, it’s ambiguity. It can have more than one meaning, and the writer didn’t make his/her meaning clear from the context.
But some of my favorite headlines come from this problem. The absolute best that I’ve ever seen was right after I moved to Oregon, and I saw a headline that said, “Husky Women Stomp Ducks!”
Heh. That’s funny no matter how you parse it. I guess ducks should avoid getting in a row with husky women.
I got an e-mail today — a list of ambiguous headlines. It’s pretty funny.
Teehee…! And I just got it, too!
*squeeze*
Theng-kew!
I lol’d.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Hee!
OT – Thanks for the coffee, AA. Although when I go the page, it says I have to send 16 cups of coffee before I can see who sent me a cup of coffee. (???) Some of these apps drive me crazy!
DW — would you please send it to him? I don’t have his e-mail addy.
Theng-kew! *giggles*
NightShayde, you could just send it through Facebook messaging.
Judy, at least you know who sent you the coffee. All I saw was that someone had sent me some!
Oh, copy me, too, nightshayde! Thanks.
Or just post it on your wall.
Nightshayde, if you only knew how many of my phrases have made it into the Failblog lexicon…! *snork* was mine originally (borrowed from the Dave Barry blog, actually), as was the blogmonster, the bukkit (it’s use, anyway…the spelling was obviously from ICHC), the innuendo machine, the *POUNCE!*, the *smooch*, the *scootch*.
Hee…I guess even I didn’t realize how many of my little things have been adopted here! You can use “theng-kew” all you like.
You should become a creative writer or something.
OK — I sent it to myself at home. I’ll figure out how to share it sometime in the next couple of days.
I’m going home now.
Nite nite NS — stop over at ICHC to say bye — we are in the NB discussin “Merkins”
Teehee! Why didn’t I think of that??
G’night, nightshayde!
And…um…Elsa_Mama…
Started out as someone using “Merkin” as lolspeak for American, and well, things just slid right into the gutter from there…..
They all run the diameter of the list of puns at least twice, you know.
.
*two days’ worth of squeezes for everyone*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZES velvet 3.1416 times*
Awwww, thanks!
*Takes more than her fair share of squeezes*
*Gives Velvet one supah-SQUEEEEEEEEZE in change*
*Sneaks a piece of WN’s pi*
*Squeezes WN*
Bearly, that tickled!!
why are ya alls going off on a tangent?
If only he arced his back a little more…
What style…what grace…OH! He blew the landing…!!!
Man, tough break…
That will be a minimum 2 point deduction from his score.
But if he had done that he might have trig(gered) serious consequences.
I cringed just watching the “before fail” part.
I did, too!
Me three!
JUDY! I Got Your Message So I Am Allowing You To Pick The Color Of Your Jersey.
But….I won’t match the rest of the team….
Then How ‘Bout You Be Our Teams CheerLeader! OR Be Our Teams Refree!
It was pretty obvious what would happen, yah?
It was only a matter of degree.
I thought it was acute way to get a thrill.
But only if you are the most obtuse kind of person.
Depends on which angle you look at it.
True. You have to look at each point of view equal(ly).
You’re right.
Ms.B If You Did’nt Get My Message On Reflection Fail Then Here I’ll Tell You I Made a team On The Blog And You Are Going To Be Part Of The Team!*Hands Ms.B A Jersey* Welcome To The Team!
Out Of Curiosity, Does Whatever Is Written On The Jerseys Have Too Many Capital Letters?
no
Now That IS A Pity!
Well, I was thinking that maybe the swing would break and he would fall. But either way the end result is about the same.
I’m free! I’m free!
*SPLAT!*
(he’s gonna need a band of angels to carry him home)
“My motto was always to keep swinging.” ~ Hank Aaron
And Hugh Hefner
And Austin Powers
And Fluffy
What??? just sayin’…
Yeah, baby, Yeah!!!
Git DOWN wif yo fluffy self, woman!
Remember when they’d tell kids you’d turn inside out doing that?
Nickelodeon used to have a whole series of shorts about the kid who accidentally swung over the bar and became… INSIDE OUT BOY!
Maybe they were filming a live-action version.
I’d say that myth is busted. And probably the guy’s collarbone, too.
♪Upside down,
boy you turn me
inside out, and
round and round…♫
Confidence is a thing you feel before you understand the consequences
consequences is what you experience after you enjoy too much confidence.
Looked fun
For about 10 seconds maybe.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
There is a thing such as too much of a dumb thing.
I think I know what the conversation was that led up to this.
“Bill! Put yer beer down and come over here. We’re gonna swing you real fast and see if we can get you to go all the way over!”
“Damn Fred, at least lemme finish this beer. Hey! Let’s shotgun a beer, then we’ll do it!”
Oh, so you were there?
Who do you think brought the beer?
Fails are so much more fun when there’s booze involved…
And general lasciviousness
…and its more funny when you watch them while they are the onlyones drunk.
*hands STS an ‘ *
This is true…
And here I am thinking he’s just spaced out.
Dude,MNM Change Your Avatar. Change It To What Your Name Is. Change It To one Of The MNM Guys
But i don’t like M&Ms :\
Well, Why You Choose The Flavor And Color Of Your M&M?
Say what?
are you a hersheyette?
*likes MNM’s avatar the way it is*
Love at first comment<3
Look, no hands…look, no teeth.
heh …
“George, George, George of the swing set –
‘Watch out for that tree!!’”
Lol, this is failblog at its best, thank you God.
That’s my great big peanut-lovin’ poochie for ya.
“Look, no hands!”
“Look no brains!”
“Look no… oh that looked important…”
I actually laughed out loud. That guy’s voice was priceless “ahhhhahuughh~~~~!”
♪ Now I’m free!
Freefallin’…
Ya I’m free!
Freefallin’… ♫
♫Something happens, and I’m head over heels♪
♫ The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’!
I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow! ♫
♪I believe it’s time for me to fly!♫
♫I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings.
Coming down is the hardest thing.♪
♪ Turnstiles on mezzanine
Jetways and Dramamine fiends
And x-ray machines
You were hurling through space
G-forces twisting your face
Breeding superstition
A fatal premonition
You know you got to envision
The fiery crash ♫
♫A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try.♪
What the hell? I didn’t even watch that video. O.o
Total epic fail, though.
Oh well.
This is the one I meant to post. That was weird.
Have a nice trip. See you next fall.
ok, this is where my comment about locking the knees should have gone!! I had to pause 5 times through the vid so I could stop laughing. Thanks, Shadow, that was a riot!
I had to rewind and watch the one where the grandma throws the stick to the dog about 5 times!
And is it just me, or do a LOT of people seem to pass out at their own weddings?
The dog one with the grandma was HYSTERICAL! But what the heck was up with kid with the shovel smackin’ it over the other guys head?!?!?!?
Men just cannot handle the stress.
@ abstract: You’re very welcome.
no, a LOT of people do. that’s why you really have to focus on not locking your knees. I was on a field trip in H.S. and we were watching a potter working at a wheel. I started to feel extremely light headed and then, just before I could pass out, a friend of mine did and she fell right onto the wheel. We all went outside for air after that! lol
Lol! I loved the man with the rifles recoil. I wished that always happened
Hee! LCB made that video! ZOMG, that’s not what I thought her voice would sound like!
Yeah… I dunno what happened with that. I know when she posted it during Cheezstock yesterday, I tried it out on her vid because I didn’t know how… but I never actually posted. Copypasta fail, I guess.
♪ Believe it or not, I’m walking on air… ♪
♪I believe I can fly♪
♪ Angle carry me, oh so far away.
May my body never touch the ground.
And If I promise you I’ll be back someday,
will you set me free so I can fly away
Fly away fly away… ♪♪
♪ Smoke on the water… a swinger in the sky… ♪
panama red, panama red. …
*snork*
I always wondered if it was actually possible to go all the way around on a swing. After watching the conclusion I don’t think I’ll try it at home (and I lack owning a swing and buddies with a camera)
SOD it! Whee!!!
*Confettis lackadasically*
I really do like Sloth, by the way, but… well, how is one exuberant for a sloth? This seemed more his speed.
*starts bubble machine*
Woo hoo Sloth!
*slowly reaches for bottle of champagne*
*slowly opens it*
*ever-so-slowly fills glasses*
*waits for glass of champagne*
*slowly sips*
W H A H O O O O O O S L O T H ! ! ! !
*lazily wheels in confetti cannon*
*tells someone else to check it*
*takes his time lighting it (so it can be checked, of course!)*
*fires cannon across room*
*to apathetic to say anything*
*falls over and continues to decompose*
Sweet, I showed up for a party at my usually time and people are still here. I need a nap now.
Congrats, Sloth!
Judy, Did You Get My Message about The Jersey? Its Below Your Second Comment.
*finds this idea somewhat…something…is too lazy to complete thought…*
lays down slowly next to zombie and considers decomposing*
I know I’m way underage, but still… champagne, pl0x?
*Passes Shadow bottle of sparkling grape juice*
*Is too lazy to pour*
This stuff tastes better than some champagnes I’ve had anyway.
Hey! Brewski took my champagne!!
*thinks about grabbing the bottle but feels too lazy to do so*
*takes bottle, sits down next to Dragon*
*looks at lazy bubbles*
…
*shakes things up*
¡pǝʞɹoʍ ʇɐɥʇ
*giggles while exiting the thread*
I agree…may I??
*pulls bottle of White Star out from behind back*
*slowly crawls toward group*
Drink. Need drink. And food if you’ve got it.
*squeezes around*
*tips White Star bottle into Ms B’s mouth*
Don’t guzzle.
Will you share??
*squeeze*
I’m not sure that word is in my vocabulary.
*hands Ms B a portion of an adjacent vocabulary*
Please????
*offers sugar on top*
*eats portion of vocabulary*
Wha???
Ruh roh.
*finally arrives at party*
Congrats Sloth!
*slow high five*
eh, the way i see it, if the kid wants something alcoholic, one beer OR one glass of chapagne OR one glass of wine, it really isn’t going to do that much damage. Most of the time they think it is ‘yucky’ anyway. IDK, I don’t have kids yet, so I can’t say for sure…..
Molasses cookie, anyone??
The mention of a molasses cookie can get me moving rather quickly.
Ah yes – hence the dramatic difference between the idioms “Slow as molasses” and “Fast as a molasses cookie chaser”.
They’re freshly baked…
*offers warm cookies*
Nummers
*eats molasses cookie*
My grandma used to make the best molasses cookies! Now I have her recipe, so I can make them whenever I want to.
Mmmm… *nom nom nom.* Thank you!
I have Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins from Trader Joe’s.
*shares cookies*
Sounds nummy…thank you!
*nomnomnom*
Ooh, that hit the spot…
Mmmm… nummy.
Oh! Lemon Thins! Thanks for sharing!
Sloth of…. DOOM!!!!!! hee hee!
I hate when people try to SOD me, i move too slow to get away half the time.
*s l o w s q u e e z e*
Hiya Gracie!!
LLLets get ready to Tumbllllllleeeeee!
A-A-A-ARM BONE BREAKER!
hmmm, that was bound to happen. It sure looks like fun…untill you fly off and lose half your face. I’d try it.
It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt…or ends up on FailBlog…
Or both.
but is it just fun, or just games afterward?
then it’s just games as all the fun goes out of it.
Well, then, what’s the fun in that??
games=fun
but no fun makes no games
The swinging is fun.
The flying is fun.
The landing is the opposite of fun. Or so I gather, since I can’t see the video here at work.
Tempus centrifugit when you’re having fun.
It’s scene from Ferris Wheeler’s Day Off.
Ah, “a”.^
*hands admiral a slightly wrinkled a from his pocket*
i know it’s not perfect, but i gave the rest to the guy in the vid… and he wasted most of them on his way to the ground.
Games Are Fun On The Failblog. Fun Is Better On The FailBlog. But FUN PARTIES Are Best On The Failblog.
… and just like that, he catapulted himself to fame.
These guys misunderstood the invite to the local swinger party.
Somehow though, they still managed to get drunk.
And he got laid (out)!
He certainly got screwed…!
Unfortunately, it was loose!
He’s not using any protection!
Where is his helmet?!
Hey, I’m home and finally watched it with sound…
He sounds like a cow in slo-mo…
Sadly his only other exit options were to wait for his friend`s arms to tire, or the batteries to die on the camera
XDDDDD….funny xD
“Happy three friends” style(2)
Awesome!
You knew it was coming, but it was still hilarious when he flew off! (The slow-mo was an added bonus!)
It’s Chewbacca’s home video!
But the force failed him.
chewbaca aint a jedi
*checks official Star Wars for Geeks book*
*growls Wookie style*
Let the Wookie win!
Erm…please. I’d like to keep all my arms, theng-kew.
Would somebody please get this big walking carpet out of my way??
*heads out of thread*
Oh No. Here Comes The Star Wars Convention on foot. . .
__
*gets run over by a crowd of star wars fans* HEL—
*Spots Yoda in the crowd* Help you he will.
Admire Jazzy’s new avatar, I do.
Try, she does not. Do, she does.
*trampled and in pain I am*
Use the Force…
Lessee, that’s mass times acceleration, right? That’s what these guys in the fail video failed to consider.
Thank you – My husband thinks it’s a stylistic ear.
…or a wonky comma…
Or a stylized F.
Stylistic*
I’m a bit sleepy right now. Gimme a break.
It’s like a Rorschach test… I see a birds head.
I see an ocean wave. With hair.
I see a worm with dirt on it’s back, but I know it will soon crawl past my sight and back into my skull.
I see a sideways dinosaur looking over it’s shoulder to something behind it.
I see dead people.
Oh wait, that’s just ZA.
I see a hatchling dragon trying to unfurl its wings for the first time.
I see people putting apostrophes where they don’t belong.
*twitches madly*
Oh.
You’re talking about the avatar… I see one of Señor Wences’ talking hands on its side.
*facepalm*
*bukkits*
Sowwy.
*whispers to DW*
*giggles*
No, mine is right. I see a worm with dirt on. It is back.
Ooops – my bad. *giggles some more*
Are you getting any of L.A.’s smoke up your way, ZA?
Why commit suicide when you can just get friends like that?
… Why get friends like that if you can just commit suicide?
Why not just commit friends like that?
To commit friends? Like that? That would be suicide!
Committed friends like that should be suicidal.
Why commit suicide for your friends?
I knew it!! Shadow IS Kevorkian!
why not just have suicidal friends?
Why Commit to Friends when you can Suicide like that?
why whisper to badgers if you can have suicidal friends
So they can keep up with the gossip of course!
Silly Billy!
What’s with all this crazy talk?
why talk if its not crazy
Why talk about something crazy?
I don’t know Judy, but it’s killing me.
(No offense) But you are the undead
*Facepalm*
I still wanna know…if a Zombie dies…does that mean it’s alive again?
Zombies are the undead, meaning they are not really dead (not really living either, but stuck somewhere in between). So if a zombie dies, then it’s not the undead anymore and resumes the boring existence of slowly turning to crude oil.
*in thanks for the explanation* Here is a brain just for you to feast upon (and its fresh too)
I don’t even want to know where you got that.
I found a decapitated head near a woodchipper near a group of drunk guys and a swing.
*nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom*
mmmmm, braaaaiiiinns.
dang i want one…
*sighs dejectedly*
HA! Not me! I’m going to slowly be crushed in the ground, and all of the years of intense pressure will eventually turn me into a beautiful diamond!
That was a jewel of a comment. A true gem…
well its crystal clear that it is
Damn I know his momma’s proud.
If you listen closely you can hear the birds and squirrels laughing.
You may be hearing the guy off-camera trying to reflate his lungs.
*snerk*
Snerk. Snork. Snurk.
And there we have it
*sniff*
No smurf?
We were waiting for you, Judy! Now there’s a smurf.
*offers nightshayde some snuff*
Um … er … no, thanks. I’m trying to cut down.
I have a request: one of my co-workers was nearly in an accident today and she could really use a perk-up. Any suggestions?
Fail Blog.
Normally I would. But today I’m afraid the video of someone getting hurt might make things worse.
ICHC!
Yeah, what she said.
*squeeze*
Cakewrecks! Also, ht tp://notalwaysright.com/. This one never fails to make me laugh.
Cakewrecks are delightful, I gotta say
Nonsense. I could be in traction and still laugh at a good self-maiming.
Multi-colored carnations. I mean several in different colors. Or balloons. Hot chocolate is good, too. Depends on what she likes.
I’m thinking in terms of a link I could send her that would make her laugh.
What about lolcats, then. Or Maxine. Or send her a funny e-card from Hallmark.com.
I sent this picture from ICHC. Seemed funny and lighthearted.
Hee! Cute
A picture like that could cheer me up even if I had just had my house burned down. You did good
Fear the fuzzy!!!
I love it!
Fear it!
Yes.
Well done Cloral!
That’s highlarious!
How about “where the hell is Matt” on youtube?
Guaranteed cheermeupper.
Ooooh, I love that one. It always makes me smile.
Same problem, always sneak back to watch again, yes the same as Dancing Matt. Apparently he was sponsored to do that for a gum company after he did a quirky little budget version.
Is that different from Dancing Matt?
That was good. I was jealous though. He went, like, everywhere!
Oh, I was so jealous, too! I have travel envy!
Something I want to do when I’m old, and retired:
I want to buy a little prop plane, and I want to fly around the world, sampling food and meeting people as I go. Like Anthony Bourdain.
Advice: Do it when you’re young! Once you’re old and retired, you’ll spend your days trying to remember where you left your teeth, not dreaming of globe-trotting adventure.
I suppose. Would be a fun thing to do right after college.
Or right before College. I know people that have done this. One guy I know backpacked all through Europe, picking up odd jobs here and there to earn cash.
In England I think they call that a “gap year”. Taking that year between school and university. ( I think.)
My newest goal is to cook something new(ish) everyday(ish). I can’t afford to travel.
I don’t think I’ll ever stop traveling. Seeing the world is the first thing on my list I’m willing to blow money on. I save and save and save for a few years and then take a HUGE trip. Next year, in March, it’ll be New Zealand!
I don’t want to stop Traveling, I just can’t do it any time soon. I mean, not out of the country at least. I still go to either New Mexico or Colorado every Christmas. Travel (with a capital “T”) is a few years away yet.
You’re still trying to get your name off the terrorist watch list?
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
I’m just kinda broke these days. Travel (with a capital “T”) costs a lot of money!
I have a friend though that is thinking of moving to France, so I made the joke that now we (my folks and I) have someone to stay with. He said sure, he’ll just make sure the kitchen is stocked and send me in.
Scheduled trips & organised flights are never nearly as interesting as hitch-hiking around Europe & sleeping rough in fields.
And yes, it is called a Gap Year in sunny old England
Well, he hasn’t danced on FailBlog yet!
*does snoopy dance*
Ha! Eat your heart out, Matt!
*wiggle dances next to Brewski*
*does the dorky dragon-dance next to Ms B*
Somehow I read that as “donkey dragon dance,” and was a bit confused.
I blame the smoke. Lack of oxygen is interfering with rational thought.
Uh oh…well, it IS entirely possible that I look like an ass when I dance…!
No, you don’t look like an ass, but that’s what everyone is looking at.
Cheeky!
Fuzzy and feisty!
ouch Charlie! or Charlie the unicorn are good tubers for the soul.
Oh, I so agree!
Chawlie bit me! Ouch Chawlie!
Whatever I get to name next will be Charlie.
Best Baby laugh ever. Clicky. If you don’t smile at this you are broken.
Oh goodie, I pass the test. Not broken, which means I ain’t broke, which means I’m rich, right?
Where’s my Ferrari?
I stole it sorry.
*Hands back a box of parts*
Again, I am SO sorry.
Hey, at least it treated you better than it treated me.
Charlie bit me; hilarious remix accompanying it too.
That sounded a little – - demonic – - to me.
Can somebody fix me, I’m broken…
Yikes!
A few cranks here and a few cranks there – pop in any a Charlie clip and you are good to go!
Let’s go to Candy Mountain, Chaaaaarlieeeeee!
Yes!! Candy Mountain, Chaaaarlieee!!! It’s full of sweet sugary goodness!!
I drove my hubby nuts on a 7 hour trip by announcing ‘We’re on a bridge, Charlie’ every time we crossed one.
*snork!*
I’ll have to try that on my kids.
Careful, that could backfire.
Natural selection win!
I lol’d
Did he died?
did you mispeld on purpose?
Actually, yes, he did.
than yes hes dead
did he die?
im happy for him
He probably passed out momentarily from the g-forces draining his brain…
atleast they didnt catch him where his brain fell out
“Dear Lord, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here”- Forrest Gump
Wow, I’m sure ones upon ones of people will bother clicking that.
*rofl!!*
That guy looks just like me!
*shivers*
*holds down lunch*
Surely you jest?!?!?!
Sorry, kinda an inside joke. Actually, my hair isn’t that long.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Not a problem…it just looks like a troll doll that had a horrible accident…something that haunts you in your sleep…
Am I correct that the photo was from Conan O’Brien’s “If They Mated?”
*snork*
Now those I laughed at…
*snorkroffle!*
MY EYES! My God He Looks So Ugly And Scary! I Might Have Nightmares! And I Did’nt See The Video But The PiCTURE MY GOD!
*gets scarred for life*
WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT!
*holds cross to the video*
*pours Holy Water on threat*
*prays*
*sends a vampire to deal with it*
THE BODY OF CRIST COMPELLS YOU! THE BODY OF CRIST COMPELLS YOU! *Saids it while showering The Threat With Holy Water*
Ooops…
I meant to say threaD, not threaT…oh well, it works…
And who IS this “CRIST”, anyway?
Well, he made Crisco, I heard. However, due to an unfortunate typo in the brand name…
Might it be Charlie Crist, Florida’s Governor and candidate for U.S. Senate (2010 race)?
Somehow I don’t find him all that compelling, though…
So I take it you haven’t seen his body?
*Hands over The Bucket*
It’s not a complete fail…it still worked!
The body of Crist compelled you? While you were showering?
Have you called the police?
Its A CatchPraise From Family guy I Thogoht IT Would Go Good With It
*points accusingly at The Failer like Angry Monkey*
love the google ad on the right, now that’s an ad-placement win!
because of his voice you should call it “tarzan fail” …
Where?
Who?
Griwholda?
When?
Centripete fail
What?
Why?
How?
Now that we’ve covered Journalism 101, can we get down to the facts??
You want the truth?
YOU can’t handle the TRUTH!
*picks truth up by the handle*
*walks away*
And just where do you think you’re going with that??? Hmmmmmm????
Er, well… I know some assorted politicians that seem to have a severe shortage of it. You know, I’m just trying to redistribute truthiness!
Stephen Colbert on “Truthiness”:
“Now I’m sure some of the ‘word police,’ the ‘wordinistas’ over at Webster’s are gonna say, ‘hey, that’s not a word’. Well, anybody who knows me knows I’m no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They’re elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn’t true. Or what did or didn’t happen.”
Stephen Colbert is a riot…
Stephen Colbert is a wild or turbulent disturbance created by a large number of people.
I’m pretty sure he was created by two people, at least initially.
*janitor listens closely*
Well, ok then. As long as it’s going to a good cause…
Derivation of the Moment of Inertia Formula:
a = r A
Where a = a$$hole, r = really stupid, and A = A$$hole’s friends
Prezackly.
So you’re saying the product of an a$$’s friends and stupidity is an a$$? Hmm, I thought fail might be involved somewhere. How about this:
r a + A = F
Where:
r = really stupid
a = donkeyhole
A = donkeyhole stupid a$$ friends
F = major Fail
*flying-squeeze*
flying squirrel???
Flying hand grenade???????
Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?
One…two…FIVE!!
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedest on to three. Five is right out.
*hears the monster of the cave entrance*
ready the grenade.
Yessss???
They are looking for someone to teach these kids how to do it right!
Then I’m your squirrel with the biggest nuts! Ready for action…
*thinks about it for a sec*
OK, after a brief nap, I will be READY for action!
*collecting all the lost body parts*
*janitor helps*
What’d he do, land in a tree chopper?
*owner of the tree chopper* Sorry I left it on.
heh … he’s gonna far go
Judy Did You Check The Jersey Comment Again?
Yes. Must consider these requests.
Judy, So Will You Wear The Jersey?
Round and round he goes, at what hospital he stops nobody knows
heh … there is a certain circum-ambulance ambience
Hmm…gravity works. *makes check mark in log book*
*makes logmark in checkbook*
Wait a minute! This checkbook is photoshopped!
Was it the pixels that gave it away?
Umm… no. It was the checkbook’s total lack of shadow…
Which is funny, when you think about it.
That or the distinct odor of Baconlube™.
It was Miss Piggy’s potatoshopped checkbook?
MMMMM…..bacon.
Did Brewski ever straighten things out with her??
Did someone say Brewski? *looks hopeful*
eep!
Miss Piggy! How could you! After I found out about your sleazy affair, I got a frog in my throat! Once it was all swine and roses, now it’s Brewski and bacon?
It’s not easy being green. I have been drinking my sorrows away. Clickie my name if you don’t believe me. How can you do this to me?!
eep!
He means nothing to me, Kermie! You know you’re the only one for moi!
Then why does your dress smell like microbrew ale? Why, if I saw Brewski right now, I might just give him one of your patented karate chops!
HIIII YAA!!
Trust me, she’s all yours, Kermit!
Porcine is not my scene!
*runsawaywithaquickness*
What?! You’re dumping moi!? HIIIIII YAAAAHH!! *tries to karate chop Brewski*
So this is what a Muppet soap opera looks like…
*grabs popcorn*
*munchity-munchy-munch!*
I knew it! I knew it!!
*flails at Miss Piggy*
*collapses in exhaustion*
*guzzles bottle of Frog’s Leap Cabernet*
Oh, forget it! I’m done with both of you! I’m going to find Animal! He knows how to treat a lady. Hmmphf! *storms off in a huff*
*takes swig from wine bottle*
*begins singing off-key*
♫ Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it’s done so far
What’s so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see
Someday we’ll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me! ♫
*stumbles off into sunset*
(before I cleared my cache, Barney’s head was Kermit’s avatar)
Hee…! I saw Albert Einstein’s head as both Barney and Kermit! I guess I haven’t cleared my cache in a while.
This is great!!!
Pours some Snocaps into the popcorn bucket.
Yummmyummm
(Dp they till make Snocaps?)
OK, I could of done without that…
*snork*
AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*pat pat pat*
Did I miss something??
Of course you didn’t. Since when has Fail Blog made sense?
Skrat made a cardinal sin of grammar.
“could have done”
Ah, I understand now…
I miss your butter cow, SuzieQ.
Then I shall bring her back tomorrow…
K???
Not that there’s anything wrong with Jeff Dunham’s puppets, of course. I’ve just come to identify you as your icon.
Did that even make sense?
If you’re happier with the current one, keep it — just know that someone misses the butter cow.
I miss Butter Cow too…. but it is your Avatar Suzie Q
The cow has returned…and she shall stay…
Three cheers for the return of the Butter Cow!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
The plot thickens!
*makes popcorn*
*sits down*
FailSoaps is on again. Let’s watch.
*munch, munch*
Mind if I join you?
I’ve been away for a while and missed a lot of episodes, I need some help catching up.
Sure. *scoots over*
Take a seat. Popcorn?
*share, share*
Hey can I join too?
*sits down*
I brought my own popcorn. Want any?
I’ll eat mine for now. Shh, the show’s back on.
I brought the nuts!
Last time on “Days of Our Swine”: We last saw Miss Piggy confronting her former lover Kermit as he admits to hitting the bottle over their breakup. Her current lover tries to leave, but she’s not through with him and attempts to give him a pork chop he’ll never forget! Will he escape? Will he survive? Will he need some applesauce to go with that chop? Let’s find out…
*snorksnuffle*
Hmm. Sounds like Miss Piggy is rooting around for truffles!
*Hic!*
♫ How drrryyy I ammm!!
*Hic!*
♪ How drrryy I amm!!
Nobody kn- *hic!* kn- *hic!*
knowsh, how drrryyy I ammm!! ♫
Do we need to call a trained professional?
Torrid affairs will do that to a frog.
OK the viddler videos aren’t as good to me..the quality is usually worse for me, they take longer to load and when they do they’re jerky.
I blame that show Jack@ss for all this stunt nonsense. Next these idiots will be putting fireworks in a some place very uncomfortable… like the back of a Volkswagen.
Hey! I’ve got a Volkswagen! Don’t hurt my baby!!!
Don’t worry, Judy. The VW is safe. I was quoting Mall Rats. I think only 4 people saw that movie and I know 3 of them.
*squeeze*
You know four. I have it on VHS.
Yay! *squeeze* I’m not alone!
Nope. *squeeze*
*has also seen it, a long time ago*
Back when I worked in a bar, we had a small issue of not much business. So we put a sign out front that read “I assure you we are open”. Not too many people got it.
Wait, that was “Clerks”.
Crap.
Like I said, it’s been a while.
I ♥ Clerks too! *squeeze*
This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fu**ing customers. -Randal
i have it on my ipod.
I don’t have it, but I’ve seen it too.
(this is for all the zombies out there)
“Got Brain?”
New brains and they come with free straws.
No Duroc today. Oh my.
*fidgets nervously*
No Duroc today. Oh my.
*begins to shake*
No Duroc today. Oh my.
*face starts twitching*
There’s still time. We’ll have the clipboard ready on the late shift.
*slips a mild sedative into Brewski’s brew*
…I didn’t want to wait until we were at the “SEDAGIVE!!!” stage.
Some varm milk… perhaps, with cranberries?
Ptew!! Ptew!!
AAAACCKK!!!!
:mr yuk:
some people just dont know what degree of danger their in till theyre flyin off the rails
These videos always end too early for me. I wanna know how badly hurt the guy was… How did he land? On his face? Well, I’d wanna see that…
He landed on a big fluffy pillow and is completely fine.
*little did they know I switched the feathers with needles. But I will never tell*
(I think you just did.)
Accupuncture WIN!
He’s gonna have one heck of a swingover after that (other than the body injuries).
Cameraman fail for not panning to the left! Surely his landing was more epic than his takeoff!
More like technical director fail.
♪Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again♪
I think he’s off his rocker…
He used to such a swingin’ rocker.
Holy S%#$!!!
Where did he end up?
For example, if there was a brick wall in front of him, he’d be F$%KED!
I F(^KING K*&_W, R#%HT?
Double you tee eff?
Ewe spelled ewe wrong. Hee.
Ewe spelled ewe tea eye wrong. *squeeze*
I think he dropped his keyboard.
Centripetal force couldn’t save him.
Seems the fake centrifugal force won.
http:// xkcd.com/123/
I expect you to die Mr. Bond.
*NOTE: NOT BONDFAN*
Heehee! That’s one of my favorites
The line or the comic strip?
That particular XKCD comic.
Oh good, I was starting to think you liked doing coordinate substitution in your head while strapped to a centrifuge. You never know with the living.
Did you like the brains I gave you to feast upon earlier?
come on fail blog… where’s the “gmail fail”?
no swing fail! the swing definitely won, it’s amazing! That was a holding on fail on his part.
he missed the tree…
I’m so sorry the tree wasn’t there, but it will be back someday…just you wait.
Teh lulz! That was funny
LAST!
DENIED!
Did she die?
Who’s grave is that there?
Fly, Fly!!!!!!
*swats the fly* Got it.
That C.C.C beside your name only makes people dislike you.
Furthermore, that janitor bit you do is nothing but obnoxious.
Quit this soon and failbloggers perhaps will think of you more fondly.
You are a hate troll.
Not hate, only wisdom.
The C.C.C. implies exclusion; the janitor bit spams the page.
how did he not turn into inside out boy
+10 stamina build for the long scream..he’ll need it to get up
it’s more like… intelligence fail.
Mad props for actually looping the damned thing! Plus additional props for launching at Mach 3!
And the Mythbusters said a 360 degree spin on a swing wasn’t possible.
in slo-mo he sounds like a lamboghini when sreaming
Physics WIN!
Not reading through more than 500 posts, so I hope someone hasn’t said this before me, but this reminds me of ‘Inside Out Boy’ from when Nickelodeon
* used to be cool.
Sorry, visiting my mother and using her laptop which seems to hate me for some reason.
I miss my desktop…
Okay, nevermind, just found Firefox on my mother’s laptop, did a quick search via Ctrl+F and found out that someone mentioned it forever ago.
So please feel free to ignore me!
My favorite is how the dude on the left didn’t notice there wasn’t anyone on the swing for a full rotation.
OMG! Laughing my ass off, AND peeing myself. This site rulez! Posting this on my facebook.
Keep up the good work, guys.
Steve …
Crackpost Media
well he had to know he was going to fall (or fail) at one point or another…. kids these days…
Swing fail – catapult win!
AM LAUGHING!! AM LAUGHING!!! xDDDD -Falls off chair-
he chose the right moment
I think that was the intended outcome.
That’s not a swing fail… that’s an adult fail (for their stupidity).
I’d love to see how he touched the ground :p
Ohhh SH*t! Is He OK? I Almost Pooped my Pants!
Who would have ever thought this might end badly?
es estupido
Wasn’t this on Mythbusters?
Poor Barney..
Gravity Win.
FAIL??? This is a Friggin WIN!
lolz I screamed when he flew off. hahah
Hmm, that didn’t work!
crap
Shite!
did he die?
Catapult WIN
Wow that’s pwnage
Ouch.
I broke my wrist doing something similar last month. Just watching that makes my wrist hurt.
Centrifugal force WIN
Wow that looks like it really hurt O_O
I Won
More looks like a win.
OMG!!! I hope he’s okay….
PERSONALLY THAT WAS A WIN TO ME
RAAAWR! RAAWR! RAAA- oops?
I believe I can fly!
he sounds like chewbacca when they put it in slowmotion !!!
LOL
talk about laws of gravity/conservation of momentum fail