*smacks lips*
I’m thirsty. You know what would be really good? Grape soda. And a cheesy chalupa from Taco Bell with loooottts of sour cream. And Hot Tamales. And chocolate milk.
When I was six years old, me and my friends were playing truth or dare, as six-year-olds are inclined to do, and one of the dares I got was to mix up the most disgusting drink I could think of using whatever I had in my fridge.
I mixed together milk, Diet Coke, and Hi-C. And drank it.
Never, ever, ever mix cranberry juice and milk. Or cranberry sauce and milk. Or anything to do with cranberries and anything to do with milk.
Trust me on this one.
*Sneaks into computer-land*
Ellen= WIN! I watch her almost every week day. Amazing woman.
*Hears sound*
*Scuttles off, leaves basket of squeezes and a postcard for Shadow*
Lurk thinks we should all talk in third person. Lurk would like this to become a trend. Lurk just realized that sarcasm doesn’t come through very well when talking in third person.
Hey, how come you never lectured Arthur on this? He’s always shagging and eating animals. At least I didn’t eat Miss Piggy.
Well, actually…um…Never mind.
Nightshayde agrees with Brewski about Barney being the Anti-Christ. Nightshade declared her home to be a “Barney-Free Zone” well before she decided to breed & stuck with that plan.
Katz, how could you do that to me? After all the special times we had together!
And you can go ahead and sue, but I’m not the father! I don’t care that the kid is purple. It’s just coincidence!
Good times!? Ha! You were always drunk and running around with strippers! And don’t bring little Jimmy into this. You know you’re his father and you never even call on his birthdays! I’ll make you take the DNA tests if I have too.
I’m rather sorry I missed TheLars ranting and raving just because I suggested a little Fail-haiku. The line breaks in the post I replied to seemed pretty poetic.
*Shrug*
But yes, a troll mental breakdown is fun to watch, albeit a little messy.
TheLars was ugly. Nothing but incredible ugliness. He went around calling everyone extremely offensive (and homophobic) names, and I couldn’t get him off this blog fast enough.
Alright I’ll Tell You. Well when Qwaz Came Back i Told Him”Its Great To Have You Back On The Team,man” Well Qwaz & I Went And Formed A Team And The Team Mates Are MRN,GRANNYCATFLAP,Brewski(if he ever comes back),KatVonD,The Moomin,Ms.B,Judy,Qwaz,And I,The Failer Am The Coach.
I know, y’know? Is that, like, a requirement to be a firefighter? You have to be hot? Cuz even the ones in my town are! Now, volunteer firefighters, not so much. In fact, not at all around here. But the City boys, now, WHOA!
I am trying to show you a pic of my firefighter boyfreind, but it won’t let me post the direct link. click my clicky and go to view my pics. he’s in there. there are 2 pics. of him with his bunker pants on….veeerrrrryyyyy sexy!
*goes and washes up*
*dries off*
*throws used towel and soap in the incinerator (as if anybody is going to want to use that after it has dead troll germs on it)*
I just heard from Kermit! He says he forgives you!
And it’s not that I’m avoiding you, it’s just that… er… I’m jogging for my health! Yeah, that’s the ticket. Jogging!
*runs away*
The universe is HUNDREDS AND HUNDEDS OF YEARS OLD.
Scientists believe the universe was created by GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
If you look at a fossil of a JESUSasaurus rex, you will see…
did anybody else notice the fail that the box appeared to be fixed down to the trolley or what ever, but the tv wasn’t. not that it would have made much difference to the whole thing falling over…
Having nothing to do with the fail… this was sent to me by a friend. These are the lyrics Julie Andrews sang at an AARP event (for here 69th Birthday). To the tune of “These Area a Few of My Favourite Things”.
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac’s and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things..
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Oh, Avis – - I love it! Thanks for posting it! We’re going to a family reunion in Illinois in a couple of weeks – my sister’s taking her banjo (she’s in a bluegrass band) – - I wonder if I could talk her into performing that for our old aunts & uncles??? They’d get a kick out of it!!!
You’re gonna be in my neck of the woods!? Cool!
I bet you could talk her into it, the tune is well known enough. Just copy the words into an e-mail to her! Apparently Julie got a 4 plus minute standing ovation.
Even though AA debunked it, I’m still gonna suggest it. And, sorry to mislead, but we won’t be in your neck of the woods. You’re in the neck – - we’ll be in the little toe. Look clear down near the bottom of IL – see Mt. Carmel? We’ll be wa-a-a-a-ay down there.
Take a look at that map. Thebes, Cairo, and a few other town names too. Plus there’s apparently some kind of delta in the area as well. Pick up the book “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman, part of the book takes place in that area, and they discuss the reason for calling it “Little Egypt”. That and it’s just a plain awesome book!
Hey, I’m known for snark. Not just around here. I had a boyfriend once tell me that it was kind of amazing no one had heard what I was saying. And that if they had heard me, I’d have gotten slapped. He was laughing when he said this, so I think he must have agreed with me. We had been talking about some rubes at the zoo.
*Hopes this posts correctly*
Mine didn’t get moderated. It just told me I was posting too fast. Sometimes FailBlog does this. It isn’t my fault. I wish you wouldn’t antagonize me. And I apologize for being hypocritical and any misunderstandings in advance.
I didn’t say it was you. When someone does, though, it screws with the way comments place.
I’ve gotten the “you’re posting too fast” thing before too. Which is nothing short of amazing for a slow-poke computer like the one(s) I use!
Well, I kinda had a bad day today. My mom has been diagnosed for a while now with Stage 4 breast cancer, and she hasn’t been able to do a lot of things. It’s mainly been left up to my dad. But he got tiny blood clots in his lungs today, and will be in the hospital for a few days. He’ll survive, but things have been pretty hectic today.
Thank you all. I know I was quite an annoying troll, but it has been nice to be part of a large and seemingly impossible to manage community, even if it doesn’t last long. And I always want you to know that I’ll be there for you when you go through bad times also, whether it be with a joke or with regard, I’m there. (BTW, it shouldn’t be that bad. My dad should heal up in a few days with the great care they are giving him in the hospital. And my mom is battling Cancer fairly well.)
*symasqueezes all*
Thanks! You guys are the best. Sometimes I feel like you’re the only real friends I have are you guys, though I’ve never seen your faces.
Yeah, well, you just carry on every day and do what you need to and you do it with a smile on your face. That’s sometimes all you can do.
*Looks hopeful*
Well I suppose we can get the guns and beer out again.
Looks like I should follow Mr. Red’s example. I doubt the same sneaky ninja tricks will work again so I really won’t be back until Friday. ‘Bye all who pass by!
falling flat
What kind of a show is that??…
It looks like kind that could run on fox^^, looks creepy either way.
It looks like that Ellen Something show, which I think is on FOX.
Just realized it says “ellen” in the bottom left corner…
I did you not know that? The show is a smash hit.
“I did you not…”
Uh, Admiral, I think you took a few too any hits from the bong over at ICHC…
*feels wooziness wearing off*
Thank you, Judy!
*gives the Admiral more wooziness*
*Removes Wooziness & stores in a jar in a Tip-Top-Tappy secret Bunker*
*stomps Badger under foot*
failpeeps.wordpress.com/failblog-rules/
No.4 right?
Apologies to all concerned
*Goes to make fresh batch of Apology cookies*
*pops in to collect*
Can’t stay long…we can wooz each other, later.
*smooch*
Hey, did we ever put that fire out? I haven’t been back to look since I grabbed something to eat (for the munchies).
Fire? I thought that was just the incense I smelled.
Maybe we’re all pyros, I know I am!
my god!!! what a fail!!!
Look at 0:10. Is that Susan Boyle?
LOL!!! imba fail
Fire? There was no fire! Who said fire??
…
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! OKAY, OKAY, I ADMIT I SET THE STAGE ON FIRE!!
…What can I say, music brings out the passion in me.
It’s ok – we had 3333 on speed dial and Brewski already ran around screaming “FIRE” today, so I think we should be fine.
So, are you auditioning for the Flaming Lips later today?
We didn’t start the fire…
yeah, yeah… I suppose you’re going to tell us that it was ALWAYS burning since the world’s been turning.
affinkso – I mean – I think so.
Wow – I better go get some coffee and cake. Anyone else?
Yeah, man.. like.. yeah.
[Homer] Mmmm. Cake. [/Homer]
HA! I didn’t even notice yours!!! Boy, those cats sure do know how to throw a party, don’t they?!?
Sounds like I need to drop in…
ॐ I can see Leary now, the window pane is gone! ॐ
Fuzz, are you om-niscient now?
*things that make you go OM MANI PADME HMMM*
Govinda Jaya Jaya
Gopala Jaya Jaya
Radha-ramanahari
Govinda Jaya Jaya
तत् त्वम् असि
Hey EveryOne! I’m Back!
There’s something about the grammar in that first sentence that just doesn’t seem right…
Yes, we just finished that discussion, Blog Ninja. Here, have a brownie.
Ooh, brownies. Can I have one?
*takes brownie and stuffs it into mouth*
Ooh, are we watching a show?
*falls on Brewski*
Look at the pretty colors!
Those really were good brownies – I got them at ICHC, , they had three initials on the note, L-something, something. I figured LCB made them…
*stares in awe at Judy*
Ooh, colors.
*giggles*
*smacks lips*
I’m thirsty. You know what would be really good? Grape soda. And a cheesy chalupa from Taco Bell with loooottts of sour cream. And Hot Tamales. And chocolate milk.
Grape soda and chocolate milk….?
:ick:
Heehee! That reminds me….
When I was six years old, me and my friends were playing truth or dare, as six-year-olds are inclined to do, and one of the dares I got was to mix up the most disgusting drink I could think of using whatever I had in my fridge.
I mixed together milk, Diet Coke, and Hi-C. And drank it.
*gag*
*squeezes Brewski*
I’ll share.
*pops a Hot Tamale in Brewski’s mouth*
(Sorry. It was lunchtime and I was hungry.)
*gasp*
How did you find out the ingredients?
Who told you?!
My immature six-year-old brain told me that mixing fruit juice, soda, and milk provide the biggest possible clash in flavors ever. And it did. *eurgh*
provided*
Never, ever, ever mix cranberry juice and milk. Or cranberry sauce and milk. Or anything to do with cranberries and anything to do with milk.
Trust me on this one.
Oooh, will it do something really cool, like in a science experiment????
Yes… and no.
Think “The Blob“.
Dang. The blogmonster ate the cranberry milkshake I made for Brewski.
Hmph.
They were both posted at the same time, mine just got shoved to the bottom.
Gotta hate when that happens…
ellen degeneres = automatic fail
I’m gonna go ahead and not take seriously anyone calling themselves “Poop.”
Probably a wise decision.
Thank you.
To thine own self be true.
Erm….
*moves Polonius out from behind the curtains*
There you go!
Umm…thanks?
Someday you will see the arras of your ways.
Somehow I think you all know something that I don’t.
lol, no surprise really, hu?
oh, youre right it does.
So that weird woman with that even weirder looking thing on her head must be “Ellen”
I Say That Ellen Is The Fail
I Say That You Are The Fail.
Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show. I’m not sure why they gave her one, but they did.
That’s what it is. I knew it started with a “D”.
I always understand “Ellen Degenerate” when she’s announced.
Wow. I really don’t understand why Ellen DeGeneres brings out the haters. She funny and smart and extremely likable.
Agreed. Plus, Dory is one of the best characters in the history of moviedom!
♪Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.♫
Agreed! I love LOVE LOVE Dory! I am constantly telling my son he is a delay fish.
It’s sad that Ellen gets so much flack. She really is one of the funniest people out there!
*Sneaks into computer-land*
Ellen= WIN! I watch her almost every week day. Amazing woman.
*Hears sound*
*Scuttles off, leaves basket of squeezes and a postcard for Shadow*
…However the squeezes are for everyone.
Even me?
Scratch that..
Even the Trolls?
*squeezes Qwaz*
*takes a squeeze and leaves an big-warm-soft-n-fuzzy-squeeze in basket for Qwaz*
Heehee!
MY BRA’S IN MY ASS!
Conversation I had with a dormmate in college regarding another dormmate who was watching the show:
Dormmate: “What is she doing watching that show?”
Me: “Well, she is a lesbian.”
Dormmate: “That’s no excuse.”
its the ellen show
faIling flat
(can’t believe no one wrote it yet… too lame?)
Or Failing flat.
Moore’s law win.
I think the real fail here is that someone actually watches the ellen show
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
funny how evryone (mister windows media player) keeps screaming of joy even after the tv falls. lol
a tv fall down on tv
… you can see it in this video of the video footage
But you can’t see its reflection.
OMG! must be a VAMP-ire
tv fall down and go boom…
TV go down the hooole….
TV COME BAAAAACK!!!
I’ll never let go….
YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON HER!
♪ Blame it on the rain yeah yeah ♪
♪ Up in the sky
♪ The floating eye
♪ Will prophecize and pretend
♪ That this is the end
I think I’d kill myself if I did that to my TV.
Probably kill your TV, too.
woooot!!!!! yahooo!! *squeeze*
Yeah!!!
*throws confetti*
And, behold, the power that is our abstract!
*wheels in the snacks and beverage cart*
*dances in background dressed as a beverage*
*knocks over TV wall*
*belatedly wheels in confetti cannon*
*hastily fires cannon across room*
Congrats Abstract!
*watches as big wad of confetti crashes into the television and knocks it over*
*bows* thank you, thank you! mmmm, snacks!!!
Three cheers for Abstract!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!!
*goes to take a nap after all that cheering…*
Hooray! Congrats, Abstract!
*breaks out the bubbly*
I promise, I’ll share this time!
*holds out glass*
How was school today, dear?
Good! Except for the one absolute jerk who sits in the back of my class and was, indeed, and absolute jerk today.
*pours champagne in Judy’s glass*
*tiptoes in*
*grabs the excess “d” from DW’s post*
*hands it to DW so she can give it to her obnoxious student*
Dammit…I should have known you weren’t going to let that get past you.
*bukkits*
No sense in writing up an extra “d” though if you can give the chap a used one.
What the heck…I’m already woozy!
¡zooɥooʍ
¡ǝǝɥǝǝʇ
aaaaaaeeeiiiippp! hey now, hands to yourself. *tickles Brewski* lol.
Nice job! Here have a nut!
*knocks over snacks and beverage cart*
Aw crap… my bad…
Aw, now it’s all over the TV!
Cleanup on aisle three!
..More Like “Clean Up On Aisle T.V”
*starts bubble machine*
Yay, Abstract!
*looks for Lawrence Welk*
clickie!
Hee hee! That’s the bubble machine I use! Good ole LW and his bubble machine.
*starts up laser light show*
Congrats Abstract!
LOLZ!!
doo dee doo dee doo dee doo…..smash!!
Hey, how did my screen end up on the floor??
this is an ad for buying a broken TV. buba® may be interested.
Blog Ninja is wondering why buba® talks in third person.
Sometimes Cloral talks in the third person too.
Do you know how to talk in fourth person? It’s meaningless unless you can talk in fourth person.
Lurk thinks we should all talk in third person. Lurk would like this to become a trend. Lurk just realized that sarcasm doesn’t come through very well when talking in third person.
SuzieQ believes SuzieQ learned to talk in third person from Cookie Monster…
…and SuzieQ believes Elmo is a crime against nature.
Lurk agrees with SuzieQ and Brewski. Lurk thinks the world needs more squeezes.
*squeezes everybody*
*nods in agreement*
*joins in squeezing everyone*
*ska-weezer*
*cough, cough*
Too much puff, puff floating around over at ICHC.
You tell him, mate! Kick his ass!
Oh, but he is! He has 666 tattooed on his bum.
*Wonders why Katz has been inspecting Barney’s bum*
I was young, foolish and needed the money.
*bursts in to shameful tears and runs from the room*
Brewski! Shame on you! You should respect other folks’ lifestyle choices. C’mere, KVD, it’s okay. He won’t do it again.
Awww, would you like a cookie Katz? They’re fresh from the oven.
Yes, please. *squeezes Great Scott and Judy* Thank you.
Brewski! Do you want to catch swine flu?!?!?
And Katz, it’s ok. It’s all over now.
Brewski!
You’re the pot and I’m the kettle, huh?
♫On the 12th day of Fail-mas my true love gave to me, 12 TVs toppling.♪
Ugh, that toon was supposed to go down there. ▼
*bukkit*
*snorkgiggle* ♪ I’m telling Kermit! ♪
*has a question of a delicate nature to ask*
Does Miss Piggy supply her own… Baconlube™?
*isn’t sure she wants to know*
well it looked like someone was making bacon.
♪ She gives you fever
‘Till you sizzle
What a lovely way to burn ♫
Told you that she’d give you swine flu!
This is why you always wash your hands after this sort of thing. Jeez, Brewski, your life is your life, but at least go about it safely, hmm?
Oh No! They’re not going to quarantine Failblog, are they?
He needs to wash more than just his hands, Shadow.
…
…
Hey, how come you never lectured Arthur on this? He’s always shagging and eating animals. At least I didn’t eat Miss Piggy.
Well, actually…um…Never mind.
I was never around to witness Arthur’s… romantic interludes.
*hands Brewski a ShamWow*
Brewski? Mon amour? Where are you? You never called me. Hello?
Wha??!
*runs away in terror*
♫ I love you!
You love me!
We’re an evil family!
With a pentagram,
Your head will spin around!
Then your soul comes tumbling down! ♫
…
*squeeze*
*SNORK!*
No! NO! NOOOOO!!!
Help me! I’m melting!!! I’m melting!!!!
Woo Hoo!
*throws confetti*
♪Ding dong, the dino’s dead!
Which dino? The purple one!
Ding dong the purple dino’s dead!♫
*dances*
*organizes parade*
*gives Shadow the key to Fail Blog City*
HIP HIP HOORAY!
Aww, shucks… it wasn’t that impressive…
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!11!!!
*holds hands over ears and runs from room, still screaming*
Awwww – Nightshayde loves Elmo!
Nightshayde agrees with Brewski about Barney being the Anti-Christ. Nightshade declared her home to be a “Barney-Free Zone” well before she decided to breed & stuck with that plan.
Dragon is amused that Nightshayde’s comment ended up way down here.
Admiral loves to rescue stranded friends’ comments, too!
Who dares to question the almighty Barney?!
AARRGGHH!!!!
*flees in terror*
*shock*
Nuuuuuoooooooohhhhhh!!!!
*runs out of the room, screaming*
*calls in flock of friends to roost over Barney’s head*
It’s a very nice tree!
What are you doing here?! That restraining order is still good, Buddy. I’m calling the Cops. *dials police station*
Katz, how could you do that to me? After all the special times we had together!
And you can go ahead and sue, but I’m not the father! I don’t care that the kid is purple. It’s just coincidence!
Good times!? Ha! You were always drunk and running around with strippers! And don’t bring little Jimmy into this. You know you’re his father and you never even call on his birthdays! I’ll make you take the DNA tests if I have too.
Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!
And Skratdaddy thinks the TeleTubbies are the spawn of Satan!
*headdesk*
*x5*
I’m sure as hell not squeezing this one.
SuzieQ agrees 110%!!!
Alice® is revoking buba®’s blogger’s licence.
Please?!?
Do you want a job at the DFBL (Department of FailBlog Licences) too?
Nah, I like thwacking much better. I’m trying to cut down though. Squeezing seems to be more effective.
It’s gross but true. As unpalatable as the act is, squeezing is troll kryptonite. Offering cookies seems to be a good protective measure as well.
Haz-mat suits. We need haz-mat suits. And de-con showers.
….co-ed showers
Don’t see why not!
*starts drawing up plans for co-ed showers*
Has anybody seen my blue sparkly crayon?
*looks up from coloring book*
Sowwy. Here you go. May I use the purple sparkly crayon, please?
Really?
Well, it drives them absolutely batty. They start foaming at the mouth and raving. It’s kinda fun to watch.
Why?
Why does it bother them? Or why is it fun to watch?
Why does it bother them?
They have no souls.
Why no souls?
Why do I get the feeling you need a squeeze?
I don’t know?
It’s against the FailBlog rules to not know?
Go to the faipeeps site. The information you want should be there.
Fantastic. What now?
Methinks Alice is in her terrible twos.
Ok, lady, I love you, buh-bye!
Silly Buttons!
I’m rather sorry I missed TheLars ranting and raving just because I suggested a little Fail-haiku. The line breaks in the post I replied to seemed pretty poetic.
*Shrug*
But yes, a troll mental breakdown is fun to watch, albeit a little messy.
I missed that too. But lordy have there been some doozies in the past!
TheLars was ugly. Nothing but incredible ugliness. He went around calling everyone extremely offensive (and homophobic) names, and I couldn’t get him off this blog fast enough.
He is not to be mourned.
I’m glad I missed it then. No one needs to see that.
Yeah, I had gotten the impression that he was just anti-poetry, *s, and squeezes. Didn’t realize he was such a hateful bigot. Glad he’s banned.
We should make a museum of the greatest(?) Trolls ever so that people can come in & Learn from their mistakes
We sorta already do. Well, an identification page at least.
Could we at least Frame the battered Hailbut and other might weapons from the war on Trolldom?
*Slides a Y onto the end of ‘Might’
Walks away Inconspicuously*
It still needs to be used from time to time….
Not as much now, as School has started again until Generic Winter Holiday.
Hey Alice Did You Get My Message On… Wait, Just 1 Sec..
No…
Oh, Well You Can See It On Reflection Fail OR i can tell you about it
So What Your Final Answer?
Alright I’ll Tell You. Well when Qwaz Came Back i Told Him”Its Great To Have You Back On The Team,man” Well Qwaz & I Went And Formed A Team And The Team Mates Are MRN,GRANNYCATFLAP,Brewski(if he ever comes back),KatVonD,The Moomin,Ms.B,Judy,Qwaz,And I,The Failer Am The Coach.
And….CONGRATS! YOU ARE PART OF THE FAIL TEAM:)
Sorry, I can’t play. The Jersey clashed with my skin tone. I’m off the team.
*Volunteers to Replace Judy*
All Right Then! Looks Like A Badger in the team!
buba® is terribly sad ;_;
what should buba® do to get it back?
buba® cries.
Sucks to be the audience member that got THAT TV.
I’d ask to get that wall of TV’s.
Can you imagine bringing that out at a party? You’d have to have some game show music to go along with it.
You can say that again…
*snicker*
Only if I spell it ‘!magine’ apparently.
Can you !magine bringing that out at a party? You’d have to have some game show music to go along with it.
Finally! A reason to kidnap Vanna White!
You needed a reason? She’s Vanna White, man! Ransom her to Pat Sajak, you’d be a multi-dollar-aire, at the very least.
They’ll finally have to give me that trip to Hawaii. Vindication, after all these years!
They’ll at least give you the porcelain dog nobody ever bought.
Somewhere out there, there’s a porcelain dog collector, pulling what’s left of their hair out.
*snork*
I’m trying to figure out what locking knees has to do with this fail.
not a darn thing! lol, that was a remark on a fail where some guy/girl fainted after standing for so long…….IDK, but, hey!!! I powered a fail!!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…
A rather Abstract fail, but funny. Ellen seemed to enjoy it too.
That’s because Abstract brings joy to the world…
that and nachos
*brings nachos*
hey, I bring the nachos, you said so yourself!! *brings nachos*
oh, sorry, I forgot the Joy…… *brings Joy*
Next time, bring your firefighter boyfriend, too.
*nods agreement*
Tell him to bring his fire fighting friends too! *giddy with excitement*
Because it wasn’t her Tv.
I dare say she paid for it though.
The elf gave the television an extra low frequency reception.
We should think about more careful frequency modulation with these on-stage fails. We already have a reputation for phallic references…
Change the channel on this discussion, gentlemen!
Sorry, Judy. The high pass, pass filter is still having an effect.
My antenna just went up! Is someone bogarting the hydroponic chronic?!
Tune in to ICHC…
LFO?
That would make it a fire-flower, no?
Yep, one more and she’ll be up to a tail!
*Confetti* Yay!
*runs arround office spitting fire balls at co-workers*
Cool it, Mario, we’ve already had one fire today.
And if the firemen got into the “puff, puff, pass” at Cheezstock, we’re all in trouble!
DAMN! I missed it.
SAD FACE.
Don’t Be Sad Alice I Went And Taped I The Whole Thing! Just For You.
It’s still going on! Winding down, yes, but still going on.
*drools* mmmm, firemen… *swoons*
I know, y’know? Is that, like, a requirement to be a firefighter? You have to be hot? Cuz even the ones in my town are! Now, volunteer firefighters, not so much. In fact, not at all around here. But the City boys, now, WHOA!
I am trying to show you a pic of my firefighter boyfreind, but it won’t let me post the direct link. click my clicky and go to view my pics. he’s in there. there are 2 pics. of him with his bunker pants on….veeerrrrryyyyy sexy!
Quite nice! No wonder you’re smiling so big in the photos!
*Gets A power Up(BIG MUSHROOM,BABY!)*Stomps on fire……And Toad.* Man, That Guy Was A Pain In My Ass
Note Ellens reaction, she’s thinks stuff smashing is as funny as hell. lol
Ya mean, it’s not?
Of course it isn’t Judy, it’s – *smash* – whoops, it’s very – *CRASH, tinkle, tinkle*… bad.
Oh…
Ridiculous American show fail.
No biggie. Ellen has plenty of cash to buy tvs, interns, Bentleys, Portias or whatever else her little heart desires.
Portia who?
You cannot buy Portia, for she is far too clever.
Bah! Stoopit stoopit! I forgot to hit reply. *facepalm*
as long as your under the comment you wanted to reply It’s fine
NO! NO! OH NOEZ!
YOU’RE MEANS YOU ARE
Y-O-U-R MEANS YOUR!
YORE MEANS TIME LONG PAST!
Hee hee! We both fail!
*squeeze*
So your means your?
Your what?
My what? I don’t understand what your talking about.
Exactly! That’s what were discussing!
werewolfgangmunzerl2
There wolfgangmunzerl2. There castle.
Well, it’s baroque now.
well, as i always ay, “If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it”. lololollhahahaha mwhaahhahahaha
*say
*hangs head in shame*
Don’t worry, sweetie. I have no idea what we’re talking about, either! Here, have a brownie. You’ll feel much better, I promise!
*eats brownie*
You’re right, I do feel better! And look at all the colors!
*giggles*
Ah. I live under a rock, so didn’t know they were a couple.
I don’t pay much attention to celebrity stuff, but I heard they got married recently. It stuck in my head.
They did. They got married while it was still legal in California.
So, did they change the law back after they were married? Do they have to give back the gifts?
The people who were married legally stayed legally married — so they get to keep their gifts.
did she die?
I will now hear the slow version of that song in my nightmares. Anyone else think it becomes uber-creepy?
Aw, bad dreams? Let me sing to you and make them better!
Brewski! I Got A Surprise For You!
Come On Out Here BARNEY!
It would appear he met his demise. A squeeze from Shadow, and the demon was exorcised!
That’s kinda poetic right there.
Just doing my civic duty, m’good man. Any one of you would have done the same.
Um. Co-ed shower is that way. ->
Thanks for taking one for the team!
*Waves from a safe distance*
Yeah, thanks.
*goes and washes up*
*dries off*
*throws used towel and soap in the incinerator (as if anybody is going to want to use that after it has dead troll germs on it)*
*throws Shadow a ShamWow*
Thankee… *cleans off*
*brings out a can of industrial strength disinfectant*
*sprays ShamWow*
You might still want to get that taken to a lab, to make sure nothings growing on it. Them troll germs are potent.
Not me. Uh-uh. No way.
Brewski? Are you down here? You forgot to give me your number… where are you?!
*snork!*
Gosh, he just loves ‘em and leaves ‘em, doesn’t he? Men. *Shakes head sadly*
I just heard from Kermit! He says he forgives you!
And it’s not that I’m avoiding you, it’s just that… er… I’m jogging for my health! Yeah, that’s the ticket. Jogging!
*runs away*
WOAH! did that just happen? That Cup was dancing!
Did you see the two girls in it?
Cloral, no. Bad, very very bad. Do not go there!
Too late! I saw 2 girls and an ass dancing in a cup once. It was in Mexico.
very funny
Hey, Dragon. I was checking out future videos the other day, and you’re powering another. “Turtle sex fail.” You should go check it out.
I wish I could see into the future.
I wish I could see turtle sex into the future.
What we need around here is MORE TURTLE SEX!!!
It’s called the vote page.
(Joke, Avis…he was making a joke.)
I know, I know. I shoulda used a smilie. Oh well.
Seriously? After you girls beat up on Brewski so much for his… lifestyle? You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
I didn’t beat up on him. I just told him he needed to wash himself. I like Brewski’s… lifestyle, especially the pantsless part.
Okay, Judy…I need a hint. What page is it on??
Found it…page 16.
Awwwwwwwwwwww. The poor turkle!
*quietly snickers anyway*
If the turtle was just more dactyl we’d have poetry in motion.
*giggles*
But since he’s not more dactyl,she thinks he’s just being anapaest.
I’ll stick my neck out and check that out.
Omg…what could I have possibly said to power a TURTLE SEX fail?? Dang, I really need to come out of my shell more.
*runs to look*
I LOGGED OUT TWICE!!!
*shakes fist at WordPress*
*pouts*
Crappy day!
I need to play!
*goes back to work*
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Me, too, Ms B. We’ll have drinks for you when you’re through!
*squeeze*
Can I come too?
Probably not.
Was not talking to you. 1000 years old.
The universe is HUNDREDS AND HUNDEDS OF YEARS OLD.
Scientists believe the universe was created by GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
If you look at a fossil of a JESUSasaurus rex, you will see…
But all that is distracting us from the more important question:
How often do you think about touching other people’s private parts a day? HMMMMMMM?
*Drinks espresso*
Don’t you tell me to slow down, FailBlog!
That depends entirely on the “other person” in question.
Now, see? Nesting fail! My previous comment (8:03) was meant as a response to CO’s question of touching.
Well, being a guy, my dependation would be on the opposite gender.
Sadly, yes, I saw what you did there.
Why is it so sad? Would you like a tissue for your issue?
I thought the question was about touching others privates, not touching others with your privates.
The former was correct, but each of them could work, I suppose.
Peter? You a redneck again?
Regardless, I still doubt you are invited.
Aww! You people are the best!
*squeeze*
One chocolate martini to go, please! I’m getting ready to head home for the day, and I think I’ll take that with me for the drive.
*crosses fingers that traffic will be nice to her today*
*hands over a nice, cold, strong chocolate martini in a thermos*
hello is anyone home?
*Comes in accidentally pushes over TV*
I’m here!
Hello Alice?
Did no one notice just to the side of the wall when the doors open, it looks like someone is having sex?
nah thats the marshmallow dancing… but i did notice it and think the same thing yes…
ellen the muff diving queen
did anybody else notice the fail that the box appeared to be fixed down to the trolley or what ever, but the tv wasn’t. not that it would have made much difference to the whole thing falling over…
Having nothing to do with the fail… this was sent to me by a friend. These are the lyrics Julie Andrews sang at an AARP event (for here 69th Birthday). To the tune of “These Area a Few of My Favourite Things”.
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac’s and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things..
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
Sorry it’s so long.
Oh, Avis – - I love it! Thanks for posting it! We’re going to a family reunion in Illinois in a couple of weeks – my sister’s taking her banjo (she’s in a bluegrass band) – - I wonder if I could talk her into performing that for our old aunts & uncles??? They’d get a kick out of it!!!
You’re gonna be in my neck of the woods!? Cool!
I bet you could talk her into it, the tune is well known enough. Just copy the words into an e-mail to her! Apparently Julie got a 4 plus minute standing ovation.
Even though AA debunked it, I’m still gonna suggest it. And, sorry to mislead, but we won’t be in your neck of the woods. You’re in the neck – - we’ll be in the little toe. Look clear down near the bottom of IL – see Mt. Carmel? We’ll be wa-a-a-a-ay down there.
Ohhhhh, in the “Egypt” area. Yeah, I’ve been there (the basic area) before.
Okay – why is it called the Egypt area?
Take a look at that map. Thebes, Cairo, and a few other town names too. Plus there’s apparently some kind of delta in the area as well. Pick up the book “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman, part of the book takes place in that area, and they discuss the reason for calling it “Little Egypt”. That and it’s just a plain awesome book!
I’ll have to check that out – - thanks!
Sorry. My BS detector was pegged.
snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp
That’s quite a detector you’ve got there, Adm.
It’s more of a curse than a blessing, methinks.
‘Tisn’t! A good BS detector is an awesome thing to have.
Well, I am doubly surprised and pleased when it’s wrong!
Like I said, a friend sent it to me. I still think it’s funny though.
My elderly retired parents found it hysterical.
So re-reading that ↑ it sounds sarcastic, but it’s true, and was meant as an agreement.
*squeeze* I understood what you meant.
I read it to my mom over the phone and she deemed it “cute”. Which is high praise indeed from her!
*squeeze* Just didn’t want to come off as a snarky wisea$$.
Hey, I’m known for snark. Not just around here. I had a boyfriend once tell me that it was kind of amazing no one had heard what I was saying. And that if they had heard me, I’d have gotten slapped. He was laughing when he said this, so I think he must have agreed with me. We had been talking about some rubes at the zoo.
Hee!
Nice.
FailBlog must be having a bad day today. Can’t use reply.
Um? Hello? FailBlog? You sick today or sump’n?
Some one replied to their own moderated comment.
*Hopes this posts correctly*
Mine didn’t get moderated. It just told me I was posting too fast. Sometimes FailBlog does this. It isn’t my fault. I wish you wouldn’t antagonize me. And I apologize for being hypocritical and any misunderstandings in advance.
Well, it posted correctly.
I didn’t say it was you. When someone does, though, it screws with the way comments place.
I’ve gotten the “you’re posting too fast” thing before too. Which is nothing short of amazing for a slow-poke computer like the one(s) I use!
Yeah, well, that’s computers for you.
Let’s just ignore my initial, insulting comments. Sorry about that.
Methinks someone has gone DAMN crazy.
Methinks someone should SHUT THE F*CK UP!
*squeezes Qwaz*
It’s all good, no biggie. Everyone gets misunderstood from time to time. It happens.
Well, I kinda had a bad day today. My mom has been diagnosed for a while now with Stage 4 breast cancer, and she hasn’t been able to do a lot of things. It’s mainly been left up to my dad. But he got tiny blood clots in his lungs today, and will be in the hospital for a few days. He’ll survive, but things have been pretty hectic today.
So sorry to hear, Captain. Prayers for your folks.
My sympathies…sorry to hear it.
Healing thoughts to you and your family Captain.
Thank you all. I know I was quite an annoying troll, but it has been nice to be part of a large and seemingly impossible to manage community, even if it doesn’t last long. And I always want you to know that I’ll be there for you when you go through bad times also, whether it be with a joke or with regard, I’m there. (BTW, it shouldn’t be that bad. My dad should heal up in a few days with the great care they are giving him in the hospital. And my mom is battling Cancer fairly well.)
My sympathies, too.
Oh crap! You aren’t kidding about it being a bad day! I hope the coming days are better for you!
*squeeze*
*symasqueezes all*
Thanks! You guys are the best. Sometimes I feel like you’re the only real friends I have are you guys, though I’ve never seen your faces.
*Corrects*
Sympa! Not Syma. ^^^^^^
That’s never any fun, friend. You can always find a caring ear (or… eye) to type at here.
Yeah, well, you just carry on every day and do what you need to and you do it with a smile on your face. That’s sometimes all you can do.
*Looks hopeful*
Well I suppose we can get the guns and beer out again.
It’s been a little while.
*Walks to SUV*
*Grabs Lawnchairs*
*Sets up regardless of population at this time of night*
You just might need a few more than usual tonight.
Hey! This isn’t friday!! I’m not complaining, but how is it you managed to be here tonight?
I’m always here, baby! I just haven’t been as active as usual, for unrelated reasons.
*ahem*
*raises an eyebrow*
Who…?
Um… OH! You were talking to Qwaz! That explains a lot!
Don’t call her baby!
Or any woman, for that matter, unless you happen to be in a committed relationship. kthanxbai.
Oh come on! How about lettin’ a little 80′s personality show through here, eh?
*Senses iminent danger*
*Scoots lawnchair to other side of irradiated bush until it’s all over*
I sense a disturbance in the force!
Nobody puts me in a corner!!!
*Brings Avis out*
That’s right! No one puts baby in a corner!
I see it. You made the same joke as her.
*Bad Angry Japanese man accent*
Ho! That was very clever of you!
*Draws katana*
BTW, none of you answered my important question below!
Your question seemed so important I needed more time to think about my answer
I just tried to answer, but the nesting is screwy.
All right. Bye bye, everyone. It was good today!
*byebyesqueeze*
Later, Super O.
(No relation to Super 0)
Have a good one!
Looks like I should follow Mr. Red’s example. I doubt the same sneaky ninja tricks will work again so I really won’t be back until Friday. ‘Bye all who pass by!
Ellen be no degenerate.
Haha.
Some (not all!) people from the US obviously have problems with flatscreen-TVs (not only the guys in this show
). (see also Wii Fail!!)
scratch those show assistants off santa’s nice list.
I’m thinking grip fail. Notice how abruptly the bottom stops. It looks like a cable got hung up on something.
Lmao, the mug just keeps on dancing.
I think the real fail here is Ellen degenerate.
no worries. those vizio tvs are decent and also cheap
That evil dancing drink sabotaged him!
I concur. Did you see the way he continued to dance, completely unfazed? Fiend.
I remember seeing this live on the show, it was freaking hilarious.
I know that guy, HA! Andy, you made Failblog. You are totally famous now!
the really dumb thing is no one missed a beat with the cheering…so audience applause fail
More like show assistant fired…
This is funny especially the when the crowd is so excited.
ROFL!!!
There goes a 2k$ screen… better print that resume soon bud
Bad elf! you sleep in the closet now!
Wow! I think someone’s out of a job… and money.
This drink sounds puke-a-licious.