Fox News Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Constantly!
Oh, other people’s – nevermind….
Now you’re being anti-social!
A woman writes an ad in the newspaper:
“Looking for handsome man who doesn’t hit me, who doesn’t run away and who’s good in bed!”
Next day, bell rings, she opens door and sees a man without arms and legs lying there saying he’d come coz of the ad.
-”But do you fulfill my conditions?”
-”I got no hands, so I can’t hit you, and it’s difficult to run away without legs!”
- “What about the sex then?”
- ” Well, guess how I just rang the bell?”
I don’t get it..
He rang the bell with his tongue? did he throw something at it? Someone did it for him?
GAWD DIS IS HARD!
with his dick you idiot
Thats just unrealistic! jeeeez!
reeeeely low doorbell
He prolly found a good ol’ stick and rang the doorbell, later to tell her it was his dick to impress her…
How did he get to the front door anyways?
SO MANY FLAWS EEEEEEEEECH!
stop searchin for flaws in a joke and just enjoy it
*takes meh in TARDIS to before he said that*
He rang the doorbell with his hands, then chopped both legs off with his hands, then chopped one arm off with one arm, then used his teeth to chop off the other one
>:)
she would hav seen the blood
Total fail
HE USED HIS PENIS TO WALK OVER TO HER PLACE AND RING THE DOORBELL.
“God gave man a penis and a brain but gave him enough blood to run one at a time.”
i’m with parry
that would be extremely painful
you cant do that…paradox FTW
cant do wat
AAAAAAAAHHH! It’s a Dalek! We will be exterminated!
*Runs around screaming*
Meh…you are just pulling our legs right? I mean you have heard of a joke before? Not all jokes are realistic, ha ha. But I have to say your naive responses were funnier than the joke itself.
I bet you eat alot of pop-tards hu?
Ooo fail-blog transgression!!!!
I’d like to think that he did a headstand to reach it…..awesome mental picture by the way….
It must have been very hard.
Lol, I thought the joke was good. I don’t understand why it was so hard to comprehend.
I thought it was a bit of a stretch
Pun fail.
Awww, don’t be a dick!
I didn’t think his joke was that bad…
exactly! its just a joke its not real so you could say anything in it.
Why is everyone making such a big deal about 1 joke?
Because this is the internet.
amen!
Wow, me too!
Let’s bash some private parts!
you will be next on failblog! HAHA
every 10 seconds!
SEX, always
Y’know, touching private parts isn’t always about sex. It might be about…., I dunno, power, or, … boredom, or, … getting even?
…or you touch them because you’re told to, by the voices, oooh, the voices!
Or out of scientific interest?
*touches private parts with wooden spoon*
*makes note*
For Medical Reasons?
medical science
You forgot cleaning!
Just looked at the URL – how can this be the first Fox News Fail???
There are loads of fails with the same name…sadly…
Has anyone ever told you your beard looks like a map of Cape Cod?
It’s a TREASURE map!
lololololol
Everyone knows fox news is full of fail and this proves it. And my answer to the question, ever 10.9 seconds with out fail.
Fox News delivers the fail right to your living room!
FOX – A failed news network that propagandised for a failed president, to put a positive spin on a failed war.
in other words epic fail
I like how you avoided to talk about the private parts. You must not think often about them.
I’m resisting the temptation so my mind doesn’t get any BOOBS BALLS PRIVATES!!!! dirtier.
Pfft, still don’t believe you’re thinking about them. Could just be Tourette.
Hehe, Tourette is badass, I know I shouldn’t laugh when I hear someone who’s got it, but ’til now i just coudn’t help it.
Tourette? I don’t think I PEN!S have D!CK C*CK Tourette!
we try not to think about the fail
There`s gotta be a Fail anogram for F O X, oops just popped andother precious endangered grey cell thingy.
minus d
Fail Of X-tra failness = FOX
Fist Of Xenophobia ; First in Obvious Xenophobia ; Filtered for Onanismatic Xenophobia ; F*cked-up Onanismatic Xenophobia ; Fuhrers Of Xenophobia ; Factitious Obfuscation and Xenophobia ; alternatively Fuhrers Of the Xylophone
If the war was a FAIL then why is YOUR guy Obama sending more troops? he promised to pull them out. Hmmm?
See Fox News rates? WIN!
My guy? You’re talking to the wrong person. I’m British-Japanese!
Is it even possible to be British and Japanese?
Guys always say they’re going to pull out but as you can see he just wanted into the presidential pants and he would say whatever he needed to to get there.
You aren’t still believing that the withdrawal method is a good form of contraception, are you?
He is pulling troops out. <.<
You don't watch the news much do you?
Fox News fails so hard they can’t take it off air. how will we use as a stereotype on what news shouldn’t be?
Indeed, all the time…
they say it’s anti-social behaviour!
How is it antisocial? They can’t read your thoughts… unless everyone except me is a mind reader…
it can be hidden anti-social behaviour.
Oh of course. Silly me.
Indeed, silly you!
God Bless America!
Gold Bless America! Mr “I run this game” Gold!
Ari?
vederci?
bin ladin?
……bob dole…….?
alot!!
Whenever I see something worth touching.
By touching, do they mean only with the hands, or also with private parts?
both
But definitely not with gerbils,
only with gerballs
short for “german balls”?
that might work
all the time really.
Let’s get Fisichella!
I’m really looking forward to when we stop talking about the Fail.
im telling the peopl on last fail to come that should do the trick
I tried to stop talking about the fail, but then I just thought about touching private parts again and I was back at square one.
you win at failblog????
Well, at least you were up front about it.
Failbloggers are experts of touching the “refresh” button! Noone else does it as often and as vigorously as them!
Two possible conclusions are:
A) Always if I want someone yell “who touched mah gun?!?!?!!!”
B) If I am schizophrenic and I am just washing my hands …am I touching someone’s private parts then??
(P.S: Mr. Freud plz help me solving the question above…!!)
Mr. Freud?
*knocks notanengineer unconscious*
* wakes notanengineer up with revivin juice*
Freud’s lame! Psychoanalysis might just be the thing I hate the most in this world!
this is a world?!?
i thought it was a website
It’s a bit of both, If you clickie on the right link you’ll be transported to a magical world full of Lions, Witches & Soviets.
I am offended by your comment witches(I’m sure you ment chechnians) won’t last against soviets. Ya Spetsnaz!! And the lion, just like the siberian tigers will be poached to extinction therefore he is only transported to the world of soviets.
thanks ya… that’s much better..
nice question to fox: What makes you failing all the time?? Is it Absinth or is it still Laudanum ?? Or is it already weed??
At least twice as many times as I think of touching my own… :/
*suddenly has mental !mage of touching a rosebud*
*and a sledge*
Wow… thanks for that image…
*or rather a sled*
We got a sparkling water here called Rosport, spelled “Roseputt”. I always wanted to make them a commercial with citizen kane dying, saying “Rosport”, then a waiter comes along with a happy face, and a glass of rosport on a tray that will revive kane, then they both stare stupidly into the camera saying “There’s nothing like a Rosport”
Maybe they’ll pay me alot of money for that idea?
*revives Kane*
Kane wins! Fatality!
next fight Tom vs. godzilla
I bet on Godzilla’s WIN!!
QUIET!
SILENCE!!!! I KEEL YOU!!
stop touching me!
godzilla wins! fatality!
Godzilla is then captured by a squad of Spetnaz, brutally beaten then killed for attacking Tom who is under FSB protection. Failinator is then taken in for questionning(auto knife sharpener noise) with possibility of release if agrees to join convert ops to investigate where the rez potions/lotions come from and eliminate the purps. responsible
failinator killed on the job by unfortunate accident. 4 ak74 clips were accidentally discharged in his body
*touches rosebud*
*takes a bath*
*takes a bath Simpson*
*stares
*squeezes shampoo in your eyes*
*Rubs shampoo in*
*gets eye drops*
*Drinks eye drops*
*throws posion in the eyedrops*
*make NeroX drink eyedrops*
eye drops are already poisonous to drink…..
*waves fist at CSI for the usless info*
*flashes everyone and runs*
*punches NeroX in da face*
Aww, but why?
for rubbing in shampoo
*Whimper*~~~
Touch!
your late
You stared, I touched. I’m not late. Simply different.
i touche befor u touched
Point?
*runs away* NO TOUCHING!!
*chases*
Aww… Come back! Please?….. sniffle.
I’ll give you a bucket of Flowerfood!! if you come back. Please?
Bored nao. =.=
just run with us
*tentatively steps* Um.. ok but… only to get my clothes back. >.<
and please keep failnator away from me. They are too touchy.
fine ill stop
Thank you *touches failnator*
*giggles*
*squeeze*
*touch*
*touch*
*falcon punch*
*pushes alice off a cliff*
If you get falcon punched, you die. The end. Game over. Any of this making sense to you?
*Link uses spin attack and grabs the edge* You sure?
*suddenly has mental image of touching a rosebud*
*and a sledge*
Does anybody want to touch my parts?
no
I’m thinking in your parts…
Watching Fox News fail. Don’t watch it.
Side effects of watching FOX news may include unwavering support of the Iraq war, a deep hatred of all things liberal, and going completely insane at town hall meetings on healthcare.
That explains my recent behaviour!
The only cure is Two Hours solid BBC News 24
Or, a month’s supply of The Guardian.
But under NO circumstances, should you read the Daily Mail while watching Fox, lest your head explode violently.
And you should NEVER read the Sun and the National Enquirer together, for a year, or you will go completely mad.
Just lock yourself in a room with nothing but Al-Jazeera & you might just survive the Media Blitz
Even better, Al-Jazeera and Channel 4 news.
Just kidnap Sir Trevor McDonald and get him to give you all the news you need
False. Fox News is liberal.
IT’S A SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPSE!
erm… APOCALYPSE!
The next sign is when the Telegraph starts backing Gordon Brown.
a pucker lips
When doesn’t FNC fail?
People of the world must be checked for hernias, now get over hear, turn your head and cough. OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE!
Good morning all. GBF is hope you had a good weekend I forgot to ask you sorry.
Anybody who touches me is dead!!!.LOL
And good morning to you too, 5 eagles. I had a lovely weekend, thank you very much.
thats a good question
What amuses me is the thought that no matter what the context. There is nothing that could redeem this frame as something that wouldn’t be failblog worthy.
97% – Yes 3% – No
Wait up – who was getting asked that question?
Must have been Glenn Beck.
In Soviet Russia, private parts touch YOU!
ahh haha
ZOMFG!!! Fox news is so stupid. Republicans are so stupid!!!! Cheney shot some dude!!! Illegal war!! Haliburton!!!!
CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS are so totally objective and truthful and never do anything stupid!!!
Zomg, rupublicans are dumb!!! Obama!!!!
Humor fail.
any, you know, oh, whatsit called… proof-y stuff? or are you guys just going to keep making unsubstantiated, fist-pounding claims of accuracy?
FOX fails regardless.
You down with OPP?
Yeah, you know me!
fox news is always going to places where it shouldn’t…
If fox fails so bad, then how come so many people watch it?
Apparently their “thinks about touching other people’s private parts” audience” is pretty sizable….
If you find out, let us know.
Because the American education system and the American media have sucked for so long people are ignorant and scared of what they don’t understand and FOX was designed to encourage and legitimize these overgrown children.
Thats not nice, be gentle!
all th fukin time cuz touching myself gets pretty boring.
It’s Fox News. It doesn’t need anything else to fail. Although this certainly helps.
TOUCH MINE!!!
Nice
Very often
how often do you not?
How is this a fail, exactly? It just looks like a random out-of-context screenshot. Probably taken verbatim from some kind of survey. But I see, it’s from the evul Faux Nooz so it MUST be a fail, right? Just take a random pic, mention Fox News, and all the snarkers jump on board.
BTW, Hannity is the only really ridiculous part of that network. I watch and enjoy FNC all the time, and I’m a supporter of Obama’s policies, including that of a public health care option. Suck it, haters.
You’re right. Yes, this is very out of context. It’s referring to questions on a test that was manditory for public school students, I forget where in the US. Some of the questions, like the aforementioned “fail” were rather obscene (keeping in mind that they had young children, like 10 years old, taking the test.) When parents protested, they were told that they had no business in deciding school curriculum.
Come on, Failblog. You can do better than this.
this is a humor website. It doesn’t matter what the facts are it matters if people think it’s funny. If you had just pointed out the facts I’d have been interested. But spare us the preaching
It’s Fox News. The fail is reduntant.
all of the time fox news, all of the time
lmao what guy got arrested this time….
Oh, look. Another cheap shot at Fox. Because that’s both original AND creative.
Well, Fox deserves it. And I laughed;)
A Lot! 0.O is that a problem?
Wait is that a trick question
hackers FTW
Other peoples body parts?
Like someones penises?
Yes. If anyone has penises.
Ummm…about every other millisecond!
Isn’t Fox News Fail just a given to begin with?
every second
I’d be worried if I didn’t.
Well, for crying out loud! No wonder I can’t fulfill the Fox News viewer criteria! I’ve been trying to watch the news using the common sense and logic attempt.
fox news is a fail in general.
Wouldn’t that be OVERLY-social behavior?
Another photoshop fail. Poor idiots have nothing better to do than put fake images of rival t.v stations on the web. Liberals = Fail.
LOL, relax. CRY MOAR…
I think it’s NO GOOD, FAUX NEWS.
They should ask the same question to a gynecologist…
HA! XD
Fox suprise suprise
It’s a valid survey question. I think about it all the time.
That’s just…wrong.
what was this news broadcast even ABOUT ?
&& when did it air … lol
… I shouldn’t anwser that…
Since Faux News is a total failure, then would this be a double fail?
Nice photoshop
* has sex with miley cirus while vigorously toucheing her b3Wbs
Umm… *looks a boobs*………
i think about it ALOT honestly but only a few people
wait… is that with or without permission??