Life Jacket Fail
Picture by: sparta139. Submitted by: sparta139 via Fail Uploader
Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Sports Recognition Fail | Fox News Fail Next »
» 377 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
Leila – wearing "I ♥… on You might as well call that a … Admiral Apparent on You might as well call that a … TehVernon on Fashion Fail The Great Lab Monkey… on You might as well call that a … Judy on You might as well call that a … mab on You might as well call that a … Leila – wearing "I ♥… on You might as well call that a … jam on You might as well call that a … Judy on You might as well call that a … Leila – wearing "I ♥… on You might as well call that a … 
Cheezburger Network Blog
His body should invest in a new head.
lol!
Maybe it did, and this is how it’s protecting the investment.
heh … may be time for a get-a-life vest
*does the “Stand” dance*
*falls over and drowns*
people always hating on the guy who’s just trying to keep his head above water..
well he is trying to protect the essential thing
*With the help af a CIA water board
Gosh, doesn’t anyone around him notice?!?
They thought it would be more fun snicker quietly.
Maybe there’s a reason they’re not telling him.
Just sayin’…
He read the instructions backwards and let a baby put it on him?
He thought it was the oxygen mask?
He’s secretly a furry and likes looking like a little puffy cat?
He stole the life jacket’s girlfriend and now it’s trying to kill him?
Believing himself a hamster, he’s stuffed his cheek pouches with the airplane peanuts?
While trying to relieve himself of sea-sickness the boat crashed and he got his head stuck in a giant yellow toilet seat.
He’s a model and his butt is insured for a million dollars, so he wants to float head down?
He thought it was an inflatable, um, companion?
He filled it with nitrous so he could laugh about all this later?
He realized he’s not a hamster after all and thinks he’s a frog and is calling to his mate?
He’s Dr. Zoidberg? He’s simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept his genetic material?
He read the delusional evolutionary time-line backwards — from mammal to amphibian to a crustacean in the Futurama — and is now looking for the baby who put one over on him in the past origins of this questionable thread?
JESUS CHRIST IT’S AN INFLATABLE LION GET IN THE CAR!
You mean he’s trying to look like a little puffy cat again?
>:3
It’s a Jaundiced tumor that doesn’t allow him to wear a life vest?
It’s not a tumah?!
Collared yellow?
His goiter is on backwards.
His head fell off and he’s using a lot of yellow duct tape to keep it on.
hes tryin to look like a super lame space ranger?
maybe they just think he’s all gangsta and s#!+
THIRD !
throll’d
*tosses 3rd out window*
*flies passed 3rd through the window*
*catches shadow by the foot and trows him in the oven*
security = failinator
*catches failinator and throws him in jail for misleading the public and identity theft*
*gets out bacause sentence was only 12 secs long*
this is mostley because i am the(unoficcial) security of failblog
*applauds*
What the…?!
Oh right. It’s the weekend.
*squeezes Katz and beats a hasty retreat*
*Dragon squeeze* I know it’s really bad on Sundays.
*Catches failinator on fire after getting out of the oven*
*sets detective on fire*
ruff seas
In case the boat torqued.
Controls the choke and throttle.
I thought he was in the cone because he just got neutered?
the itch that dare not bark it’s name?
I feel bad laughing, but you should see him try to drink out of his dish. Hilarious!
Hi-larity on the High C.
He’s going to get one sunny delight of a sunburn. He should douse himself in purple stuff.
if you got a notion for a lotion
mebbe i can put a motion
on ya' nethers 'neath the ocean
Watch it, Sharky, I’m gonna wear those teeth as a necklace.
let's see ... ruff seas, check ... pet collar, check ... teeth marks on teh neck, check ... now we just need a string of pearls to complete this little bit naughty-cal ensembleAha, you’re a mako(t) shark!
and you're a great white girl!He looks lost.
That’s why you never take Oceanic Airlines.
Looks like something got caught in his gulp stream.
Maybe he’s just a really good swimmer and he knows that the lifejacket would only get in the way of his awesome Olympic-level swimming skills.
Maybe he’s made of helium and these are the weights to weigh him down.
wtf
They like me! They really like me!
who likes you?????
No one.
???
You’d think I’d learn, but noooOOooo…I kept on reading after that first thread…
THAT’LL learn ya.
Maybe he wants to choke himself on purpose if the raft fails to work.
Rofl that would make sense
I was hoping this name link was dirty, and I was really disappointed.
You were hoping for a good hard booking?
Sexy glasses and some fining, mostly.
um ... I'm pretty sure I'm overdue to check you outBest. Pickup line. Ever.
*now hopes he can play his library cards right*All you need to know is my favorite Dewey Decimal System call number is 021, baby.
Best. Reference librarian. Ever.Haha poor guy =D
Is that something sinking behind them?
yes it is
Looks like they`ve all just been woken from their beauty sleep and told to don lifejackets.
he must still be asleep
It’s his dignity.
♪ Come gather fail people wherever your roam
And admit that you’re bound to be doing it wrong
And accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone
As your dignity goes a-sinking.
♪Come together – right now — Over me ♪
if you see superman remind him that i still have kriptonite
*janitor swipes kriptonite*
Jaqnitor coudnt swipe kriptonite because dr. who killed him
ZOMBIE JANITOR!
*shoots zombie janitors head off with shotgun*
*takes back kriptonite*
NO ONE IS LEFT TO STOP THE ZOMBIETROLLS! *all of the zombietrolls break loose and cover the whole planet in the matter of seconds*
fo more info tune to zombie troll network
DR. WHO TO THE RESUCUE!!!
Dr. the trolls have taken asia
No they haven’t!
then wat have they taken
and what hapened to all the janitors
well…i went back in time and disabled the trolls just before they took over asia..but i couldn’t save australia…and the janitors are still looking for me *jumps in bush*
i thought you killed them
then the next episode isnt done yet
shhhhhh im hiding!
*Finds Dr. Who* There you are!
crap my cover is blown…*quickly flees in the TARDIS to the time of the end*
*gets in own tardis and searches for dr. who*
finds dr. who’s TARDIS and renames it reTARDIS
how did you get a TARDIS..???
i cloned yours!
Is this from the Hudson river water landing?
And there is absolutely nothing lamer than not only posting an insipid ’third’ post, but being so retarded, your aren’t even third, you are fourth. Please tell me you lack the ability to have children. Please.
who are you talking about
The guy who posted as 3urd.
o he’s a idiot
h – n
we can only hope that someday he’ll become an hero
He’ll protect the capitol city in the state of confusion.
and then hell choke when he arrives
*nods in agreement* Push the “reply” button, please.
This life jacket will save people from suffocating due to submersion by suffocating them while still in the boat.
It’s GENIUS! I want five.
give me 3
Yes! SNtJ, give them out freely to the weekend
Trollspeople!Or just toss some plastic six-pack rings at them and watch them get entangled to death.
Fresh out of those at the moment. I have plastic dry cleaning bags, or matches, or this screwdriver and that electrical socket. Maybe I’ll just leave it all out here on the floor for them.
I got them a Happy Fun Ball…
Oooh. This could be interesting. Now we only need to teach them how to use their thumbs and voilá!
I have Ren and Stimpy’s Whiz on the Electric Fence game for those Eediots.
OT- They were ringing a bell in the church ‘band’ this morning and I’ll I could think of was:
DING
Needs more cowbell.
DING-DING
Nope not enough. Still needs more cowbell.
*gigglesnork* You can never get enough cowbell! *squeeze*
i agree
*joins in squeeze fest*
I agree to agree
*also joins in squeeze fest*
pops shadows eyes out from squeezing to hard
Says sheepishly, “can I squeeze something? Pwease?”
You can squeeze someone, as long as you play nice. *tentative squeeze*
grabs rolfasie to join in squeezefest
I’ll give you a squeeze
*squeeze*
*squeezes* I am so happy ^^
The failboat dude is air-ring on the side of caution.
I hope they had enough vests. Some companies cut back on safety devices because of inflation and other financial hardships.
heh … and i just offered a comment on the deflating impact of financial depression. vv
Well that will be a Gas.
*tests gas on shadow*
*explodes into the Air*
*world coverd in Gaz
Isn’t it breath-taking.
thats one way to put it
Did you take that photo of two cans snuggling under a blanket yourself?
Tropical birds snuggling under a blanket?
Sugary Toucan Sam’s getting some comforter?
Yep. Sugary Sam fell in love with Lady Lipton.
Awwww…
can we expect the pitter patter of little sweetie sweet tea sweet potato pies?
*facepalm*
*runs to drugstore to buy some protection*
I wear it backwards cause I’m cool. I’m all hip-hop and down with the kids… yo.
♪I’m on a boat!♪
♪ Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship. ♫
♪ Love won’t hurt anymore
It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
It’s LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It’s LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It’s
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
It’s the Love Boat-ah! It’s the Love Boat-ah! ♪
the love boat sank
♪ I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical ♫
-Pirates of Penzance
*can’t think of a boat song*
♪ And whistle all the airs… ♫
♪ Rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby…♪
*rocks boat to far*
*boat tipes over*
*big splash*
*ochean puts out me and shadows fire derective still on fire*
♪Row-row-row your boat♪
genley down the waterfall!
AAAHHHH!
Hey! He said “gently”!
I was screaming there was a large poisonous water snake.
Yeah, they’re pretty bad in the waterfalls. You need standing water; They can’t cross water that isn’t moving.
it began gentley but then went wery very fast
mostley because the water snake got on the boat
I hate it when that happens!
you mean, “yo, yo, yo da boat”
WTFail
i was waiting for some kind of reply..
Its not worth it
I’d rather lose my head!
so thats why you were singing lol
Hmmm I thought I would get more comments out of this one.
Oh well I am off to bed.
That lifejacket looks too small for him.
No, he just has a super fat head. They’ll probably eat him first.
Zombie sharks wanting the big brains?
Delicious human brains? I hope the sharks don’t have frickin’ lasers attached to their heads, too…
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirs……………………..Oh crap!!
Tsk Tsk!
one-finger typer?
No, it’s just that he was only using one “i”.
Still not sure what evergreen conifers have to do with it. Although, he sure does seems excited about them.
What’s not to be excited about? Firs! Firs, for heavens sake!
And evergreen! That’s even better than usuallygreen!
Can’t beat a fir tree! Just planted one and needed to tell people, and I thought of you guys.
And that’s how you keep your head above water in this economy.
… and doubles as a noose when the depression sinks too far
Yeah, that’s real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. ‘Course I don’t know what that bastard shark’s gonna do with it, might eat it I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin’ chair one time.
A rocking chair in the ocean?
haow
*Dilly sends the air tanks flying over their heads*
*grabs on to a air tank*
too late, chum
*air tank explodes*
falls on shadow
rezerects shadow in hope he will come back to fb
*revives* Thanks.
*squeeze*
*queeze*
you missed dr. who
♪ Show me the way to go home … I’m tired and I wanna go to bed … I’d a had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head ♫
I’m not talkin’ ’bout pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’. I’m talkin’ ’bout workin’ for a livin’. I’m talkin’ ’bout sharkin’!
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
And more friends to jaw with.
i am at your comand admiral
If I wasn’t so hooked on FB, I would leave right now.
trolls ftw
If I wasn’t avoiding a bunch of seriously tedious tasks, so would I.
Hey, should I go swimming?
Go ahead. Can I come with?
Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?
Yes. Most attacks are just “test” bites, with the shark trying to determine what you are…and if you are tasty or not.
Ohhh looky what we have here… Nomomom~pbllttt pblltt not good!
100% of shark attacks happen when you’re wet.
And then it’s just 15 minutes of misery.
When you’re 15 storeys high? Not many sharks up there, although I did see a pony once.
*doorbell rings* Candygram.
…unless you’re a loan.
Your response interests me.
…or you meet up with a landshark.
HAH! I beat you by three minutes D.W.
dilettante says:
August 30, 2009 at 1:30 pm
But, I didn’t order any pizza! Wait a minute…
:p
Rats.
^ ♪
you are the win beneath my finsCan’t believe you’re arguing over who referenced it FIRST. Go find seperate corners to stand in.
I'll see you at the fin-ish lineI can’t go stand in the corner, I’m expecting a delivery.
*rings the belle*Whoever could it be?
Beast: [suavely] It would give me great pleasure...if you would join me for dinner.
"O Dilly Belle," said teh land sharker,"We've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
He'd eaten every crumb.
♪Little town – full of little people waking up to say…♪
Oh my god you killed Dilly!
I’m not even here. Don’t worry, it’s gonna be Monday really soon.
How about we toss all the trolls into the shark-infested waters and have some margaritas on the beach instead?
All those in favor, say “aye”! AYE!!!!!
There are sea lions down the beach so there is bound to be a Great White around somewhere.
Hm, I’m back to the beach on Wednesday and a little research says that they haven’t had a bad shark attack problem there since 1916. Win?
(will be moar liek Winsday for me)But, I didn’t order any pizza! Wait a minute…
I’m not looking forward to Monday, either! Why did you mention Monday!
Sssh!! Stop yelling the M word!!
*Puts on shades*
Okay, everyody, would you please look at this little light here? It will all be over in a minute.
*everybody*
*flashes memory eraser again*
Did you have fun at the zoo everyone? *cover story for time difference from memory eraser*
trows shadow in oven again cince memory haz been erazed
Is that what that smell is?
yes burnt fail
*Manages to catch failinator on fire*
Actually I meant that fresh zoo in the summertime smell – but oh well.
*sets someone on fire*
*notices de ja vu*
Woohoo! It’s Friday! Let’s go to the pub! Wait…what day is it?
It’s Fraturnday. (Friday + Saturday + Sunday = My little term for the entire weekend.)
I’ll use Fatunday™, so I don’t steal your thunder.
Fat ‘Un Day: The Sabbath of the McDonald’s-ists.
Yay! French fries and diabeetus for everyone!
*consolation squeeze*
No work on Monday for me, it’s a holiday. Woohoo.
*thank-you squeeze*
Moomin!
*Squeeeeeeeze*
So this is when you sneak on! I’m not normally here now.
*squeeze*
No question about it. Monday is going to blow.
Thar she!….. nope, just another manic monday.
♪Just another manic Monday…♪
*tries to dance around but is really just bouncing up and down and tossing her hair a lot*
You’re not making me feel any better about my weekend ending, Jenny….
are you making your bangs jingle jangle bangle?
Why would you bouncing around make anyone sad? It would make me laugh provided you did it vigorously enough.
I think it’s all about the ‘m’ word.
♪Girls just wanna have fun♪
*Hops in Barbie jeep and makes donuts*
Mmmm… donuts… *drool*
Yes, we don’t like the “M” word. At all.
But you’re OK. It’s not like it was a surprise or anything. I knew it was coming. *squeeze*
*sigh*
I’ve been so spoiled by having the summer off.
“Name?”
“Huh?”
“Your name, sir?”
“BEAN”
tosses Mr Evilwrench out of the window for not being funny
*replaces FAMAS with Stinger and gives CO infinite ammo bandana*
There. That’s more like it.
*sneaks out of thread*
IM BACK!
wooooooo hoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yep, woooooo hooooo indeed…so what have i missed?
i pushed shadow into the oven
and we sang about boats
aaawh i missed all the fun
yes you did
i also got arrested
cheak the top
who bailed you out?
they centenced me for identity theft but my sentence was only 12 secs long (cheak upper area for more info)
aaah…
well im off to play mini ninja’s see you all!
then i set detective on fire
I’ve been defenestrated? But just look at the guy!
*is impressed by word usage*
mini ninjas 48% yay
Why 48%?
download not done
*48% of person is there* OH MY GOD! THE PAIN!
dont worry now its 3 qourtres
100% of person downloaded
YAY!
i just finished playin it is awsome cant wait for the full game
you download because of me?
actuly I wanted it cince 19th but you remind me
steam FTW
You two should get married and hang yourselves.
sorry to dissapoint you but im NOT gay
*gives Failinator’s spelling teacher her walking papers* Sorry, but you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
my other english teacher has swine flu
but tats the one i hate
This guy in the pic is the one who decided to ignore the mandatory safety demo.
this fourm or wateva has more comments than the last one
I just saw a tv documentary about the Hudson River plane landing. This photo shows the survivors of that crash – I recognize several people in the lifeboat (which had originally been the inflatable slide from the plane that doubles as a life raft.) So maybe let’s chill out and figure we don’t have to mock everybody at all times over everything.
Nah. If we start being exclusionary than everyone will want a break and next thing you know fail-blog will have imploded due to niceness.
and said implosion would cause black hole
It’s not that we don’t feel for these people or that we aren’t sensitive. It’s that this is our safe haven from the real world and it’s supposed to be funny and about having a good time. Sooooo stop being a buzz kill and exercise your sense of humor a little okay? We have plenty of time in the real world to be miserable.
Psst, Katz…
Remember, weekend trolls tend to be like this. Just let them be. Here, have a *squeeeze* and a drink.
Aww, thanks! *accepts drink and squeezes back*
*squeezes all around*
I agree with you both, but please don’t call this poster a “troll”. He/she is sincere and just ignorant as to the ways of failblog, and ignorant as to the personalities of the people here.
*sneakysqueeze*
Happy Sunday!
*return squeeze*
Say, as long as I have an English expert nearby… Should I have said, “ignorant of the ways of failblog”?
*snork*
Either way works, though I prefer the way you said it the first time. That way you don’t have a repetition of the preposition “of”.
♪I am the repetition of the proper preposition, I am the very model of a modern Major-General!♫
Yes, best not to use “of” too often if you don’t have reason to.
*double squeeze out to both of you*
I couldn’t of said it better!!
*squeeeeeze!*
*cries*
Ahh.. I would of posted that same joke if I didn’t refresh on time.
*pat, pat, pat*
*rinses, repeats*
*wrings, wrings, wrings*
*snnnaaaaaps! Fluffy on the tail with rolled up Shamwow*
I think it’s “ignorant ass in the way …”
Hm, apparently not all regulars agree to my philosophy of tolerance and kindness?
^^^ “with”, not “to” *bukkit*
Nah, I’m with you, Bro’ski. I’m just being a donkey.
I told you not to eat all of that candy!
kiss my ass, jiminy cricket!
Brewski’s right… I think we’re getting too used to labeling anybody who pops in and says something we don’t agree with as a troll, regardless of their intent…
Well, I know I am. I’ll leave the judgment of yourselves up to you.
Hi Shadow!
Yes, I think most of us are guilty of it. A lot of these posters could very well be a valued member of the community, if they were so inclined. To me, “troll” is somebody who intends to be hurt others. They like to annoy, they like to make people angry, they like to get attention by any means possible. I think we should be tolerant towards the ignorant newcomers. That’s why we now have the “failpeeps” FAQ.
Yup.
Howdy, Brewski.
Long days, pleasant nights, and all that.
It’s chow time in this part of the back 40. Catch you on the Monday shift!
*logs off into the sunset*
Being a former troll myself, I think my two-cents should be included. It is hard to judge right now what we should do with trolls. If you read this fuzz, could you post the link to the little experiment you did a while back? That is kind of being harsh. I think for right now, it is better to just leave everybody else alone, and respond when we think it is necessary, but those who are obviously coming in to destroy FailBlog… Well, that’s why I set all these static defenses.
*Puts on general’s helmet*
Here are a couple of sites that may interest you.
ht tp://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.html#seven
ht tp://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll-tactics.html
You’re right, Brewski.
*Offers SW a cupcake*
*feels bad for being involved*
*makes with the puppy eyes* I’m sowwy!
I don’t want newbies to run away, I’ll be good.
It’s ok, Katz. We all have some bad days. To tell the truth, I recall posting quite a rude comment in response to what I considered to be a racist fail long ago. Then I started reading the comments and understood that one is not supposed to take things too serious here because, after all, we’re here to have fun.
And now, I shall dance a silly dance.
*Dances like snoopy while throwing cookies*
He’s doing it right. This it the way we WANT him to do it, so that he can’t reproduce anymore.
dumb, dumber, dumbest to be still commenting on the dumb
That’s not his d1ck you are looking at.
I figured it out! His head will float and he’ll survive!
Head = Place where your nose/mouth is! = Air!
Of course! The possibility of getting strangled by your own life jacket is preferable to drowning. Clever guy.
This is what happens when you don’t pay attention to flight attendant instructions, kids. You look like an eediot.
That’s why we can’t ever go anywhere nice in a life raft.
Is that the captain of the failboat?
no thats the captain of the fail raft
It’s the new style, you know how people wear their hats backwards? Same thing.
this is the stupidest one yet on failblog.org.
Right. Can we go back to talking about the fail?
Ok. Maybe he was pretending to be Robin Williams in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen?
Maybe they’re playing charades and he’s pretending to be Shakespeare?
No comment…
I’m sure that he doesn’t want to lose his head
HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII therez
A wild Buizel appeared!
It’s Bean! Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean! FAIL to any who don’t recognize and give bean proprs.
*observes a moment of silence for the firefighters in SoCal who have lost their lives trying to keep the fires under control*
*thinks about Lunchbox and hopes he’s doing all right*
I miss Lunchbox.
I hope he and the rest of the firefighters are doing ok.
Oh yeah, that guy’s a total douche! It’s not like he just survived a plane crash or anything. Sometime you people can go a little too far….is anything sacred anymore. Let the poor guy have a moment without your criticism. I’m sure the fact that he was alive was far more important to him than how he was wearing his life vest.
come to the next fail
Give the guy a break…he was just in a place crash!
he’s just trying to protect his beard
when he got in the water, his legs were up in the air with his head in the water…
Maybe he should have listened to the pre-crash briefing more closely…
this is just after the hudson landing. i dont blame him for being scared/flustered, and putting it on wrong.
I wonder if it’ll still work. If not, DARWIN AWARDS WIN!!!
CLOWN?
WILD BUIZEL APPEARED!
Another Pop-tard eater
Natural Selection at its finest…someone just needs to give him a little shove.