My theory is that the mirror hates him or her. I mean check out his/her name “Stepchild”? I’ve I’ve learned anything from movies and books it is that no one likes a stepchild.
Maybe that’s the problem. Because in 1984, when the person on the screen looked at the subject’s mirror, he/she saw themselves on the TV in the mirror. Maybe that’s where he got confused?
Bingo! How are you supposed to see anything with one of those ancient 20″ CRT jobs? Get yourself a modern, 50″ plasma HDTV and you’ll see yourself in every mirror on TV.
I have a modern 50″ plasma HDTV (Really, I do) and I can’t see myself :s.. *Gasps* Maybe im a vampire! or maybe im stupid.. MY GOD. Dawg = Stupid Vampire.
*Suicide*
—-> *SUICIDE* <—-. I know you are thinking "Vampires can resurrect" BUT vampires can also NOT resurrect, and I'm just stupid so my only left option is NOT to resurrect
“Well, there’s some debate over whether it should be called Thesaurus or simply asaurus. Fossil records show it came long after all the other dinosaur’s had gone extinct, but whether this means it is THE dinosaur or simply one of many that came before has recently come into question.”
*announcer voice* And it’s a perfect score for the Admiral! A very well played move on his part there, that was inspired! And we look forward to seeing you next week! Until then, may your days be sunny, and may your fails be funny. I’m Shadow, and this has been “The Most Intense Fail Blog Moments”. Have a great night folks.
♪ You’re a Heartbreaker
Dream Maker, Love Taker
Don’t you mess around with me!
You’re a Heartbreaker
Dream Maker, Love Taker
Don’t you mess around – NO NO NO! ♫
*claws from the grave*
*vomits on the shiny new “who’s”*
*tries to clean it off somewhat*
*fails*
*ends up smudging it even worse*
*crawls back into the grave*
I just didn’t want that shiny new looking “who’s” to give you away. Unfortunately, I may have accidentally made it messier than the rest of the words, making it stand out anyway.
I didn’t have the sound turned on (boss is nearby ), so in my head every time he started running I heard the theme from the old Benny Hill show. Was the real sound better?
Yes, but it was fun while it lasted. I suppose I’m entering the midlife crisis phase of my Fail Blog-ian life, reliving the old jokes I made when I was just a wee nooblet…
Well, it’s like this: TV and movie cameras never point directly at a mirror because then you would see the camera and the film crew in the reflection. So when you see a mirror on tv, it’s always on an angle. If you look closely you can probably see some other part of your room reflected in that mirror.
What are you saying? Do you see the TV or film crew in the reflection? Obviously, if the lens was looking back from the mirror that could possibly distort the space time continuum, black holes and such.
Oh. The TV god requests that, in between viewings of your, erm… preferred material… you call 1-800-LUV-CHAT to chat with all the hottest single females…
Those commercial sound even creepier out of context ...
I had the same question when I was 6 years old. Lol.
Is exactly the same as asking why a heater on tv does´nt heat o.O
Or asking why a knife on tv cant cut you.
When I was 5 I thought TVs worked by having a roll of film in the back that had the TV show you were watching. When you changed channels, a mechanism would change which roll was at the front.
*walks over to the office safe*
*removes all jewelry, places it in a locked box in the safe*
*securely shuts the safe, twirls the knob*
*returns to desk*
Well I have seen my reflection in a mirror on TV. I just happen to be playing around with a camera connected to the TV. Which reminds me have you ever pointed a camcorder at a TV that was displaying the image from the camcorder? It lets you see other dimensions!.
According to most theories (of which I believe), The space-time continuum is shaped much like a circle. So if you were to straighten it out, Scott, you would further break it.
If you have been straightening it out for awhile, I suggest you stop because repairs are VERY expensive, even if you split the cost.
If it’s a circle then when you go back in time you end up where you are now. Thus you are already in the past when the continuum was not broken since it is all the same.
I SAW MYSELF 68 TIMES :OOOO i said hi, i was fine, i didnt care though because i had to leave and i was late for my job as the Milkpope, i asked how i was doing on mars but i wasnt alive….
People this stupid really need to stop having children, especially at the frantic pace that they are propogating. Sure it gives us small moments of entertainment, such as this entire webisite, but the inconveniences are far more prevelant. I hearby start a petition to make it legal to kill anyone where they stand if they fit into any of the following groups.
1)Internet trolls
2)Those people Leno interviews on Jay walking
3)People who ask stupid questions on Yahoo answers
4)People who think the Earth is 6000 years old
5)People who work at the DMV
I would like to add a few categories to the list though:
6. People who drive 35mph in a 50mph zone for no apparent reason.
7. People who walk down the middle of parking structure ramps, giving drivers nasty looks for having the nerve to drive where cars are supposed to drive.
8. People who use speaker-phones for private conversations.
15. Substitute teachers who can barely speak English, and don’t pay any attention to what the class they’re supposed to be teaching is doing, and except that this isn’t completely wrecking our chances for the test we’re supposed to take on the subject upon the return of the original teacher.
16. Also: teachers who don’t take the time to learn anything about who they’re entrusting their class to for a day or more.
Sweet resposes all. Number 7 is great, I see that all the time! People walk in the middle of the road or on the highway, or any other place that is obviously not for walking and then they look at you like you are stupid.
OT, but sofaking, haven’t seen you around for a while. Since back when I used to lurk, actually, come to think of it. Did you know that you powered a fail a couple of weeks ago? Belated congratulations!
I think it is actually kind of an interesting question – especially since we don’t know the age of the person asking. They have made an observation that the television captures the state of light reflecting off an object and are asking the question, why doesn’t a reflective object still reflect?
For someone under, lets say, 13, it could really show someone who doesn’t just take the result for granted and tries to understand how things work.
Wish me luck folks – this should be my last post on Leopard (Mac OS X 10.5). Just got handed the new Snow Leopard (10.6, just released) this very minute and installing now. I’ll either be back shortly … or not.
Any trip is an experience that tests the life of the traveler. But this one especially will be a real passage, involving and exploring, unfolding and revealing the zombie and his apocalyptic world. We look forward to a radiant and deeply moving account of a “true pilgr!mage, a journey of the heart.”
~ mostly from the Publisher’s comments for Peter Matthiessen’s The Snow Leopard.
I knew I better come back to save Apple’s reputation. There has been little fail, I’ve been playing around.
Actually, the first attempt failed for unknown reasons, it looked like it was working but after the reboot half an hour later I was still on 10.5. So I tried again, watched it for a while (paint drying is such an entertaining sport) and when I felt like it was working (rebooted and continued installing), I went to lunch. After my return, it’s done. All seems fine, with some minor exceptions (my EarthDesk plugin doesn’t seem to want to draw my desktop anymore, that’s the only problem so far!).
In all, a good update. But this kitty looks cold, it’s all covered in snow!
I can’t … I just can’t make it through that. I’m weird that way, seeing that hammer and laptop and knowing what’s coming, I just can’t watch that. Not today.
Try me again Monday, I’m usually in a mood come Mondays.
no you won’t, your PC’ll explode and the snow leopard DVD will come out flying like a razor, bounce off a wall, sever the motherboard and screen, and then sever you.
Alright, folks, it’s time for me to clock out. By the time I get home, have dinner and get back on-line, I expect this Cuddle Puddle to be full of happy, cuddling people, unnerstand??? Thought so.
*Katzsqueezes*
I couldn’t say, I haven’t been on much myself. Of course there was a minor time-space problem, but AA cleared it up quickly.
Had a good day?
Well, my day was mostly conference calls. However, they’re finished, I’m in the Cuddle Puddle, and I leave work in 20 min.’s so things have improved drastically.
I dunno. I’ve always envisioned the cuddle puddle as one ginormous hot tub where everybody sits in a circle and people can swim around and drink their bevvies and snuggle up to one another at will.
Hey, Chani! You’re not too late, there’s still a bit of cuddling going on. Need a drinkie-poo?
(As for you, ShadowtheSniper, the kids’ section is over there >>>. Soft drinks only for you.)
Ridiculous. The customers are retarded and skeezy, and my boss is keeping secrets from me. I thought maybe she was considering firing me, but a co-worker told me that my boss is simply “trying not to put too much responsibility” on me, because I’m going back to school and she doesn’t want me to burn out. Hehe!
Every day is a new adventure. It’s whether or not the story is worth telling that counts.
(The store still smells like smoke in some places… I got in trouble for that one!)
My dearest failfriends, I have returned. I have just been cleaning my entire friggin’ house, full throttle, for the last three hours, whilst listening to various kinds of techno with the bass turned up.
*takes off shirt, slips into hot tub*
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I think it safe to say that I am thoroughly burnt out. So, on that note Judy, could you get me a coffee, if you would be so kind? Just a splash of creamer and packet of sugar, please. I need something to get my energy back up.
Ahem!
Do you see a waitress apron anywhere upon this person?
I’ve worked my tail off all day long, catering to the whims and demands of nine insufferable attorneys. Came home and not only cooked dinner, but did three loads of laundry. All whilst attending to the other routine daily house chores and, god forbid, spending a few precious moments on the internet. And YOU, after a mere three hours of work, have the nerve to request that I prepare you a cup of coffee, prepared to your liking????
Well… yes… but seeing as a) you’ve been preparing alcoholic drinks for the other members of the failfamily and b) I wasn’t requesting an alcoholic drink, I had been kinda hoping my request would go over better than it did.
*giggles*
I think I scared him away.
I took the ’sense of humor quiz’ on facebook the other day, and my answer was “sarcastic – others may see you as a bitch* – seems like it was pretty accurate, eh?
wow, not to be a hater but i feel compelled to say this. y’all must really have no lives, you click repeatedly on this website, hoping for new fails to show up and be the “first” to leave a comment. after which everyone tries to come up with clever and witty comments that may or may not have any relevance to the picture at hand. what you all fail to realize is that your comments are effing retarded, inane and by no means an iota as funny and clever as you losers think they are. get a life you web-surfing cyber dweebs, and stop dreaming about the “squeezes” that you give each other in the hopes that it’ll someday become a reality and you’ll actually get to touch another real live human being. It’s not going to happen. lol
He has to be a kid. This guy can’t be a troll, since real trolls look down on anyone who doesn’t stick around to make followup comments. It’s considered cowardly.
Yes, like jewel thieves and assassins, trolls have a code of honor. If you don’t stick to it, you’re a dumb ten-year-old.
I beginning to think that this particular breed of troll (what do we call this one again?) is, in fact, jealous of the camaraderie we have. They mock us for being friends. To me, that sounds like the behavior of one who has none.
Hee! I haven’t been tempted to say things from the blog on the outside, except for that! “Roleplay hornychat” has come to my lips on a few occasions, and I know I will say it one of these days.
Wow, not to be like a hater and junk, but I totally hate you guys. Cause you like are smart and funny and junk. I’m gonna go to the mall and dress the same as my friends and stuff… so there.
Yeah and I’m The Coach And We Have Jerseys One For MRN,QWAZ ,BREWSKI,KATZVonD,GRANNYCATFLAP, ALICE,MS B, THE MOOMIN,And Me,BUT, Not For LOLKATBURGLER She Stole Keymasters Keys And Stole Our Dear Friend GrannyCatFlap And I’m Not Trusting Her SO,BREAK!
Shut The F!@$ Up,wow,Because No one is listining to you and About What You Say What You Think Be Cause We’re All Family Here On The Blog And You Ar’nt. And To Stay Here You Have To Be Like us And Just comment And Talk Or You’ll Have To Talk To The Main Man Of The Team ,ME, THE FAILER.
So completely OT here, but I just found out that Reading Rainbow is going off the air due to budget cuts at PBS. It makes me sad that a show which helped nurture my love of reading is going away.
I think it’s considered an “art” now, and therefore is expendable.
Schools keep cutting things that are considered art, so much for a well rounded education.
To the rescue!
♪And a crowd of young boys theyre fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They dont give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It aint what they call rock and roll
And the sultans played creole♪
My little girl loves reading. She started reading a collection of classic Winnie the Pooh stories today — and she’s not quite 5 1/2 (will be in a couple of weeks).
I believe there are kids in her kindergarten class who are just starting to learn their letters.
*one of the janitors* I think we should some ideas on ways to stop the zombie trolls. So..does anyone (fail bloggers) have an Idea on what to do about the zombie trolls?
Okay, I have to admit, that was a bit funny. Though it’s been said before, it wasn’t said in quite this way, and reading that made me chuckle a bit. So… props.
The reason you can’t see yourself in the mirror on TV is simple and surprising.
Unless the mirror is facing directly at the camera, which it never is, the mirror is tilted relative to the camera, and SOMEONE ELSE is seeing your reflection.
But don’t worry, they can’t tell who you are, unless they’re a friend or relative or acquaintance and they recognize you.
Well obviously when the TV films the mirror straight on it would create a time and space continuum rift in which you see your reflection in a previously filmed sequence thus creating a hole in your personal timeline… So on purpose TV people make sure that nobody dies from hole’s in their personal timeline.
oh oh oh! It’s your turn. You are a shadow cowboy in a fog of city lights – hey I just noticed you upgraded! Nice hat – you know what they say about big hats don’t you?
Well, I was actually thinking it was going to more along the lines of “the bigger the hat, the bigger the man” or something like that, but yours works too. What do they actually say about men with big hats?
Someone Nicer than Jenny, she hops up and down
(acting a bit like Yosemite Sam) –
But in truth she is darling and just loves to clown,
inside she’s a sweethearted, sugary yam.
Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that this mob behavior is hiding the fact that most people here probably don’t have a coherant answer to that question? It can’t be given in a single sentence as most are thinking, unless we assume refraction is completely understood by the asker. In which case, a question about refraction, which would go like “how do mirrors work?” is not a stupid question.
It is possible to tweak the colours to reproduce a mirror effect from a mirror on TV, if your screen is good enough and clean, but that would be making a new mirror, not making use of the reflected one of course.
wow this one is pretty funny. not hilarious funny; i could see Steve Martin as the Jerk, or Will Ferrill as Ron Burgundy saying this in a movie. Get back to me if you have details or confirmation of Anchorman to be filmed this year/next. Would be a riot! Who here loves Anchorman like Brick loves lamp, or carpet? Goodnight everyone and remember, you stay classy San Diego. I’m Ron Burgun..dee??
Another peson posted the same question and someone actually answered:
Your question makes me smile. Here is why it doesnt happen
If a mirror were in front of you light would go from you towards the mirror , bounce off of the mirror and head back towards your eyes.
If a mirror is on tv here is what happens:
Light comes from you and goes toward your tv, some light goes into the tv, some reflects back at you (Becasue of the glass tv screen) but no light goes back up the cable wire (1000’s of miles) to the camera and towards the mirror, and reflect back. Also note that that stuff you see on tv is recorded, even live tv is recorded. Even if the light from you could go back up the cable wire (or satellite tv..whatever you us) it would end up in a studio some where and hit a dead end.
when i am ruler of the entire world, people like this will get automatically castrated. honestly, there is zero reason why this person should ever breed.
Hey people, This is not fail. I understood the question.. He’s talking about the reflection of mirrors & reflections of TV screens. When you think about it this way, you will get the idea =D .. U are big failers
How is this a fail? The boy is used to have an old TV with glass. And just got a new Plasma or LCD. And he wondered why he couldnt see him self, so he wondered why..
This cant be real…Please tell me this isn’t real…There cannot be people this stupid in this world…This has got as dumb or maybe even more dumb than the girl that posted the question asking if she would die from accidentally inhaling cigarette smoke into her lungs (that question was also posted on yahoo and featured as a fail on here) but seriously if there are people that stupid on this planet then we truly are doomed cause think about if we continue to allow stupid people to live and multiply/populate then they can spread and take over whole towns, cities, states(just look at Louisiana and Kansas and West Virginia), and eventually whole countries (oh wait its too late for Canada) but ya come on this is ridiculous I mean why do we even allow stupid people to post such retarded questions? I mean can’t they filter the stupidity level of questions its as easy as having someone review the question before it gets posted to the public and if its too stupid it just doesn’t get posted and a warning should show up on the users screen saying something along the lines of “Please ask a smarter question, Thank you have a nice day sniffing paint.” Okay that’s my rant of the day thank you for reading this if you have any comments please submit them to my “I can really care less box” its located directly up your ass so just compose your comment on at sticky note crumple it up or fold it neatly and shove it directly up your ass and eventually…. I’ll never see it see how that works? Great right! Ya ok later everybody peace!
vampire
Aaaah. That makes sense.
True Blooded Fool (like you said vv)
That’s a high stakes game you two are playing. I hope no one gets cross.
I would fang you to keep your problems to yourself, close to heart.
I would stake my claim here, but it is not my brood to tweak with.
how the hell can somebody even think of that
Well this can get bloody.
that is one of the most retarded things ive ever heard.
*lol* If you think that’s dumb clearly you’ve never hung out on that site, that’s not even close to the worst question I’ve seen on there.
Why did the chicken Cross the road?
So the big MACK truck could slam into it?
To get to the other ******
what website is this out of interest?
Oh these puns are KILLING me!
to the point that I’m dead but still alive….
answers.yahoo.com aka “Yahoo answers” aka where to ask “how does woman get pragnet”
That would suck.
Wood you stake your life on it?
Bloody right!
You look like you’re feeling particularly sanguine today, WN…
*narrows eyes at WN suspiciously*
Others have been thinking along the same vein.
*gets some garlic for use in dinner*
Hee! Maybe he’s just batty.
I think we can count on that.
Would he be looking for his necks victim?
well *cough cough* I’m coffin now.
I count think of anything right now, but i may have to draw blood to come to a contusion
You should probably ask Dr. Akula to draw that blood for you.
Well I’m Count-ing on you.
These puns are becoming a pain in the neck
Excellent theory.
My theory is that the mirror hates him or her. I mean check out his/her name “Stepchild”? I’ve I’ve learned anything from movies and books it is that no one likes a stepchild.
If I’ve…
ugh
How do you know his/her name is “Stepchild” and not “Stepchil…” or “Stepchildren” or, or…
I’ve got nothing.
Aha
*hands wowaname something*
*runs with ears covered*
:O
Aw, fudge, you beat me to it.
“Hmm… Must be a vampire. ^_^ ”
Kthxbai.
That was my first thought.
a vampire on tv
So that’s why they don’t use real vampires in movies. You can’t see them… Aha!!!
THIS TWAT IS LAUGHING AT YOU NOW – IT’S A SET UP ASKED BY SOME ‘KERAZEE PERSON’ YOU FOOLS.
I WAS GONNA SAY THAT
Because you’re stupid.
Even better theory.
Or perhaps your TV is broken… or simply outdated. Those 20th century televisions were much less advanced.
is it true that you couldn’t see the zits on a 14 year olds face back then o-o
In 1984, television watched you.
Maybe that’s the problem. Because in 1984, when the person on the screen looked at the subject’s mirror, he/she saw themselves on the TV in the mirror. Maybe that’s where he got confused?
That comment deserves much more credit than it got.
We’ve been spoiled by the Admiral’s high commenting standards. You’re right.
I did a double-take in my mind when I read it.
*tries to cover up facecrime*
Heeee. That’s a new(speak) angle!
Oh, Fluffy. *hug!*
BB! oh noes!
could you explain more on that??
Bingo! How are you supposed to see anything with one of those ancient 20″ CRT jobs? Get yourself a modern, 50″ plasma HDTV and you’ll see yourself in every mirror on TV.
In crystal clarity too.
Just be prepared for a bit of a shock.
I have a modern 50″ plasma HDTV (Really, I do) and I can’t see myself :s.. *Gasps* Maybe im a vampire! or maybe im stupid.. MY GOD. Dawg = Stupid Vampire.
*Suicide*
You are always welcome in my hoard, stupid vampire Dawg.
—-> *SUICIDE* <—-. I know you are thinking "Vampires can resurrect" BUT vampires can also NOT resurrect, and I'm just stupid so my only left option is NOT to resurrect
Perhaps. But what about all those options you still have on the right?
They’re… uh… They’re a bit broken.
Actually, I was thinking “vampires are undead, just like us zombies; plus this one just tried to commit suicide!”. My welcome stands.
ZA=vampire eustace bagg!!!
I have still have a big CRT TV and I can see myself in it, even when it is not turned on!
uhh, word blindness fail
Nah, they just forgot to get their converter box.
My right options are:
Buy an ice cream with a smurf called Ai
and because I’m stoopit it can also be named phaild
It’s just because television ain’t real, silly. Try an internet mirror instead.
Yeah.. Let’s try a romania internet mirror! Who’s a stupid cat now!?
*Saying duuuuuuh*
I Lol’D
I Facepalm’D
I Napalm’D
I Rosypalm’D
I Arnold Palm[er]‘D.
I Hey Arnold’d
I accidentally the coke bottle D`:
I, um, hairy palmed.
*facepalmed*
*granatepomed*
(*pours*)
*Palmface*
I Killed Jeffrey Dahmer’D >:D ima sick basterd
To go ahead and state the obvious, it’s likely this “Stepchild” person is kidding. I see on their Yahoo!Answers profile, they also once asked:
“What’s another name for Thesaurus?”
My answer:
“Well, there’s some debate over whether it should be called Thesaurus or simply asaurus. Fossil records show it came long after all the other dinosaur’s had gone extinct, but whether this means it is THE dinosaur or simply one of many that came before has recently come into question.”
Surely it’s then Asaurus. It’s not the only one, even if the others had died. If your entire family died, you’d still be a shadow…
*headdesk*
*calculates angle of reflection*
*shoves pillow under Ms B’s head before next bounce*
*holds up a sign saying “10“*
*announcer voice* And it’s a perfect score for the Admiral! A very well played move on his part there, that was inspired! And we look forward to seeing you next week! Until then, may your days be sunny, and may your fails be funny. I’m Shadow, and this has been “The Most Intense Fail Blog Moments”. Have a great night folks.
VAMPIRE !!!!!!!
Sorry fuzz I didn’t see your comment.
so … you reflected my comment without seeing it??
I can’t see 5 eagles comments. Kill him. Kim him NOW!!!
LMAO Technicolor. I am right in front of you…can you see me?
Not in the mirror.
WTF?What’s that?Whose talking? *Grabs knife*
*takes “e” from whose, skootches “s” over, adds an apostr…*
Oh, whatever.
*stakes technicolor*
Judy the heart breaker.
♪ You’re a Heartbreaker
Dream Maker, Love Taker
Don’t you mess around with me!
You’re a Heartbreaker
Dream Maker, Love Taker
Don’t you mess around – NO NO NO! ♫
Put the (k)nife down technicolour! You are scaring me!
Oh there you are. I thought you had go all invisible on me *squeeze*
*walks in, whistling quietly*
*nonchlantly replaces TC’s “whose” with a shiny new “who’s”*
*walks back out, whistling quietly*
Hey I did that on purpose. Maybe.
*claws from the grave*
*vomits on the shiny new “who’s”*
*tries to clean it off somewhat*
*fails*
*ends up smudging it even worse*
*crawls back into the grave*
*rolls over in grave*, perhaps?
I was scared. Blame my typo on 5 Eagles’ invisibility.
I just didn’t want that shiny new looking “who’s” to give you away. Unfortunately, I may have accidentally made it messier than the rest of the words, making it stand out anyway.
I tried.
Hehe… sounds like someone is a little TOO into the whole Twilight stuff. He/she is HOPING someone will tell them s/he’s a vampire. LMAO….
wonder if they sparkle?
it’s the twilight zone, duh.
Looks like something that should be in the Olympics.
It really should.
F**king chicken nuggets ftw.
Whoop Whoops optional.
It’s not as good as Neg’s Urban Knock n’ Dont Run.
I didn’t have the sound turned on (boss is nearby
), so in my head every time he started running I heard the theme from the old Benny Hill show. Was the real sound better?
Everything is better with sound. Unless you’re watching that chick from the Hills sing.
YES.
HAHA
you suck
*takes a minute to think of a brilliant and ego-crushingly witty comment*
NO U!
Oh snap.
Dang it! I knew I should have made that remark legally mine.
*Ponders what he would do with possible won quarter*
*Morphs e into y*
U mean morphs Y into y…
Reminds me of parkour.
almost first!
doesn’t count. end of the line.
This ain’t horseshoes or hand grenades.
…or nuclear weapons
… or dancing.
Thank God. I’m about as good as a table when it comes to dancing.
How much do you charge for a table dance?
One nuclear weapon.
So, are you saying she’s the bomb?
Oh, poor Cloral. You added the male symbol and you still get confused with a girl…
*selfesteemsqueeze*
I think at this point it’s a running gag.
*runs away with Cloral’s ♂ *
*gags*
Don’tcha just hate that gag reflex???
*squeezes WN and Jules*
*steals another ♂ and continues running*
OUCH!!!!!!
Awe man, I had that ♂ forever. Now I need to track leila down and get another one.
Oh no, there’s a manhood thief on the loose! Cover your groin! Wear a chastity belt!
Haha! You can’t steal mine! I never had one to begin with!
*snorkity!!!*
Geez, I’m away from the blog for a couple of hours and look what happens!!
*gets out popcorn and prepares to enjoy the show*
*munchity-munchy-munch*
*ahem* That’s MY popcorn you’re stealing, thank you very much.
*Grabs Shadow’s popcorn*
*Runsawaywithaquickness*
That’ll teach you to not leave your ♂ sign where we can steal it!
You’re going to pay for this! I will grill your children and eat them for dinner!
Well, I’ve heard bear meat is a little gamey, but I hope you enjoy your cub sandwich!
Y’know, at least Rumplestiltskin thought to ask for _future_ children. I have none at the moment, so I guess you’re going hungry tonight.
D’oh. This is what I get for switching back and forth between gmail chat and FB. *Future
Shadow, I threw your popcorn away. It was old and stale and moldy. I have my own popcorn now.
The popcorn thing is dead. I’m sorry.
*pat pat pat*
Yes, but it was fun while it lasted. I suppose I’m entering the midlife crisis phase of my Fail Blog-ian life, reliving the old jokes I made when I was just a wee nooblet…
We threw it out in the big purge. Stick around and you’ll make new friends and gags.
NOW I remember you! “Nooblet!”
*fits of giggles ensue*
I’ve always liked that word
Um, may I have it back, please?
I can find you one if you want Chloral, but it might not have been yours originally.
*quickly buries that misbegotten ‘h’, wondering where it came from*
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It’s detachable.
Can I have that “h”? I’m building a horse.
first you have to sink a basketball shot
Whaaaa?
Looks like someone isn’t familiar with “Almost only counts in horseshoes or hand grenades”
I love stupid people. They make me laugh. HARD.
Really? I tend to laugh softly, with a bit of spice at the end, for taste.
I literally lol (like big belly laughs!) and my family is like, ‘What are you looking at now?!’
yeah… im always asking my sister that :p
Stupid people make you hard?
Did you miss out the ‘laughing’ bit in the sentence?
No. They make him laugh. The HARD bit was just a status update
So laughing makes him hard?
Um… I guess. *shrugs*
Some people just have a lot of fun, I suppose.
And therefore, since stupid people make him laugh, stupid people make him hard.
Prezackly.
I think I get it. Stupidity leads to death, death brings on rigor mortis, rigor mortis brings on stiffness, which is like turning hard.
Stupid people make everyone hard.
Well, it’s like this: TV and movie cameras never point directly at a mirror because then you would see the camera and the film crew in the reflection. So when you see a mirror on tv, it’s always on an angle. If you look closely you can probably see some other part of your room reflected in that mirror.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
… dude. please tell me your joking XD
>.> seriously can anyone tell when we have fails like aforementioned
What are you saying? Do you see the TV or film crew in the reflection? Obviously, if the lens was looking back from the mirror that could possibly distort the space time continuum, black holes and such.
You have to remember sammy the heat transference would be enormous.
It’s because the television is magical. And it chooses when and where to show your reflection.
You do not question the TV god.
Do I???
What does the TV god want form us mere mortals?
Depends what channel you’re watching.
I’d rather not say. But let’s just say I only keep one hand on the remote.
Oh. The TV god requests that, in between viewings of your, erm… preferred material… you call 1-800-LUV-CHAT to chat with all the hottest single females…
They’re always waiting.
The undead do not sleep.
That’s what they are? Fascinating. I should have been able to tell from their soulless gaze.
*questions the tv god*
Great now you have to sit through 12 minutes of commercials. I hope you’re happy.
*obeys the cow god*
*clickie clickie*
*Walks away*..Great now that the tv god is gonna take your channels…iv got to go steal someone else’s cable!
Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi
*head asplodes*
*sweeps up bits of Ms B’s head, gently places them in a Ziploc™ bag, and sets it on the shelf to await regeneration*
*sneaks up and noms some of the tasty brain matter*
*knows she has lots to spare*
*hopes she won’t miss the small parts I nommed*
As long as it doesn’t assplode. Harder to clean up.
That would require the SuperShamWow™.
and probably plenty of CreaMass to clean up..
Very cryptic…but true…
♪Lover, I’m on the street.
Gonna go where the bright lights, and the big city meet,
With a red guitar, on fire. Desiiiiiiire!♫
Phail
bored. gimme MOAR PHAILE!@#111
Hows About MORE BRAILLE?
:. . . :: . :. .: … Yeah, I suck at braille.
This isn’t really a reflection fail.
Think about what you just wrote.
Haha, good one!
Are you pondering what I’m pondering, Pinky?
I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?
Narf! Troz!
you can see yourself because you would go back in time….duh!
Preposterous! Everyone knows that your TV would steal your face and go on a murderous rampage–a rampage you would be blamed for.
Like in Doctor Who…
Dr WHO?
Yes Dr Who!
Dr What?
Dr Who says what in the where now?
No, Dr.Who
Doctor, who’s on first?
A naughty nurse?
Who? You mean dilettante?
NURSE Dilettante to you, Shadow
I’m not a physician, but I do have a Ph.D.,
and I like to play doctor with dilettante on a TV.
Yes.
What’s on second?
What did Della wear?
Dr Doolittle
Dr. who is you and how do you do so little?
A vittle is little and little I do
Who is this Who, ni, how do you do?
epic Dr who reference
I had the same question when I was 6 years old. Lol.
Is exactly the same as asking why a heater on tv does´nt heat o.O
Or asking why a knife on tv cant cut you.
When I was 5 I thought TVs worked by having a roll of film in the back that had the TV show you were watching. When you changed channels, a mechanism would change which roll was at the front.
You mean, that isn’t what happens?
That would be an awesome contraption =D
And the tv guy changes the roll pack every morning hehe.
He’d be like the milkman.
You were a scary child, weren’t you?
Why? cause the knife analogy?… actually I made that up today =P
Yes, I was picturing you holding your wrists up to the tv screen and rubbing them back and forth on the knife on the screen.
Yes, that’s it. That’s why.
Yeah, but you wouldn’t have us any other way.
He’d starve otherwise!
Scanning a mirror didn’t work either.
… now I have two scanners.
But u cant get one off the top of the other can you?
Did he diaphanous?
In sheer terror.
I can see right through what you did there, Admiral.
I didn’t mean to gauze any harm.
Diaphanous or not, I reject ethereality.
Boy, it’s tough to keep up with all of the pellucid pros in this thread.
Clearly…
Pellucid pros pontificate. Filmy at eleven!
*walks over to the office safe*
*removes all jewelry, places it in a locked box in the safe*
*securely shuts the safe, twirls the knob*
*returns to desk*
Hi, lcb! Did you get my RSVP for Monday?
O hai. Yep, you’re all set for Monday. Your tickets will be waiting for you at the Disinformation Booth.
Tsk. You pun-run breakers.
And I was hoping for some juicy goss(amer)p today.
Well, I’d like to aveil myself of your company, later.
Sorry, Your Hominess, I didn’t notice.
*snooooooooooooooork*
…But at least I’m a charmer! :p
*squeeze*
*squeezes the hominess charmer*
I tried different variations of my name, and the least objectionable was “up jerky dots”!!
*snorkity-snork!!*
Um…I mean, that’s awful…
*squeezes Judy, er, pounces on the bailiff??*
Name change fail, AA. I’ve already thwacked myself for it.
*squeezes back*
We just don’t know. The evidence is insubstantial.
*Hides keys*
Well I have seen my reflection in a mirror on TV. I just happen to be playing around with a camera connected to the TV. Which reminds me have you ever pointed a camcorder at a TV that was displaying the image from the camcorder? It lets you see other dimensions!.
I did that once, but it made me suffer a flashback so I never did it again.
Please be careful with the space time continuum. It’s so hard to find a good repairman on the weekend…
All ya gotta do, in most cases, is press restart.
Sorry, the restart button doesn’t work anymore.
You’ve got to be kidding me. You guys broke the space-time continuum AGAIN?
This is ridiculous…
It seems I’m always trying to straighten out the space-time continuum. Do I need to take my ship back in time again?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fixed that thing. My tools are all dinged up and the bloody thing STILL breaks down from time to time.
You just have to jiggle the restart button while reaching inside and pressing against the gravity potential release.
Here, I’ll do it…
(distant sound of Vrooooooom!)
Well, that was much easier. I was going to use an inverse tachyon beam to probe a space-time anomaly. Silly me!
According to most theories (of which I believe), The space-time continuum is shaped much like a circle. So if you were to straighten it out, Scott, you would further break it.
If you have been straightening it out for awhile, I suggest you stop because repairs are VERY expensive, even if you split the cost.
Qwaz!
*Running pounce-and-squeeze!*
I knew you couldn’t stay away forever!
*Squeeze* Who can stay away from this place? The food’s too good
.
Yay! The robot kid who’s head is shaped much like a circle has loop-holed back.
Yay! The fuzzy man who’s not evil but still has a semi-french accent is here.
Qwaz? Is it really you?
*ribbreakinglyhugemegasqueeze*
If it’s a circle then when you go back in time you end up where you are now. Thus you are already in the past when the continuum was not broken since it is all the same.
So… I accidentied the thought of time travel? Whoops…
*facepalm*
I’m not fixing it this time!!
*welcome back squeeze*
It was like that when I got here!
*Sidles slowly away from mess*
*Howdy Hey squeeze*
So the space-time continuum is the loophole you found?
Well, what did you expect? Look at him. He’s got a brain the size of a planet.
Nah, The loophole I found is that I can now post on friday evenings. However, That seems to fit in nicely doesn’t it?
My thoughts exactly, glad to see ya!
Type at you later, then.
I SAW MYSELF 68 TIMES :OOOO i said hi, i was fine, i didnt care though because i had to leave and i was late for my job as the Milkpope, i asked how i was doing on mars but i wasnt alive….
please, promise you wont reproduce.
I remember seeing tv for the first time at 30 years old and I walked behind to see the little people in the back of the tv set!
Sometimes I am really embarrassed to be a part of the human race
You need assurance or condolence?Brian.
It’s a conspiration! Illuminati don’t like we see our reflection on Tv’s mirrors!
¡Es una conspiración! ¡Los Illuminati no quieren que veamos nuestros reflejos en los espejos de la televisión!
↑ Reason #1 why we don’t write our comments with Google Translate.
It’s a commentspiracy.
Piracy on the high comments?
Because God hates you… so does satan.
God loves all I thought. When did he change his mind. As for Satan, you can buy his love.
A demon’s love is very different from a squares …
By the way, you both misspelled “satin”.
Ha the irony when YOU wrote “squares” instead of “skwairz”. Who was your Spelling teechar?
People this stupid really need to stop having children, especially at the frantic pace that they are propogating. Sure it gives us small moments of entertainment, such as this entire webisite, but the inconveniences are far more prevelant. I hearby start a petition to make it legal to kill anyone where they stand if they fit into any of the following groups.
1)Internet trolls
2)Those people Leno interviews on Jay walking
3)People who ask stupid questions on Yahoo answers
4)People who think the Earth is 6000 years old
5)People who work at the DMV
Any more suggestions?
People who reply your long written text with “lol” or “yeah”
*sighs*
*holds up sign saying, “Do not feed the trolls. EVER.”*
Not on the internet. I mean your friends. Sometimes I’ll text something important and that’s the answer I get.
sofaking’s not a troll! Unless he revolved (opposite of evolved?) into one.
Hey, sofaking, what’s shakin?
Well, then, my apologies. Still, it’s not good form to go on a rampage complaining about some idiot on the internet, like it’s something new.
Oh, and the opposite of evolved is “devolved”, I think…
Ahh! Thank you, Shadow.
but somebody has to work at the DMV how else would I renew my license
I was about to ask the same thing.
I would like to add a few categories to the list though:
6. People who drive 35mph in a 50mph zone for no apparent reason.
7. People who walk down the middle of parking structure ramps, giving drivers nasty looks for having the nerve to drive where cars are supposed to drive.
8. People who use speaker-phones for private conversations.
9. People in “higher” positions than one’s self who have less experience and virtually no clue.
10. Anyone who has not yet figured out how to retrieve voicemail.
11. Fox News anchors.
12. All lawyers.
13. Purse Thieves.
14. Students who sit in the back of the class and roll their eyes when you actually expect them to work.
15. Anyone who still believes Iraq and 9/11 were related.
I steal this one directly from Dragonwriter…..
16. Pun run breakers…I mean c’mon!
16. The rainbow conspiracy theorists.
17. The goverment agencies that put rainbows in our water supply. Damn homosexual agenda, corrupting the children.
WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
15. Substitute teachers who can barely speak English, and don’t pay any attention to what the class they’re supposed to be teaching is doing, and except that this isn’t completely wrecking our chances for the test we’re supposed to take on the subject upon the return of the original teacher.
16. Also: teachers who don’t take the time to learn anything about who they’re entrusting their class to for a day or more.
Whoops, change that to 16 and 17 then.
*sees dragon’s and sofaking’s comments*
Oh, bugger. Just put it somewhere on the list.
19. Brits……….. J/k
*gasp* SofaKing how could you?!
17. Telemarketers.
*ahem*
18.
No, I give that one a +10, so now it replaces what was formerly 7.
*expect
Sorry. This incident happened when I was an 8th grader. It pissed me off quite a bit.
12.1. Except Perry Mason and Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar.
OK, those two can live, LR.
Sweet resposes all. Number 7 is great, I see that all the time! People walk in the middle of the road or on the highway, or any other place that is obviously not for walking and then they look at you like you are stupid.
OT, but sofaking, haven’t seen you around for a while. Since back when I used to lurk, actually, come to think of it. Did you know that you powered a fail a couple of weeks ago? Belated congratulations!
Any chance you know the title or estimated date?
ht tp://failblog(dot)org/2009/08/19/wall-flip-fail/#comments
woot.
Around here, we call that Halloween in Isla Vista (clickie clickie!!)
11.a People who bash Fox News mindlessly and who think MSNBC is a perfectly Fair and Balanced network.
People who talk during movies in the theater (at home is okay).
*sigh* if anyone runs at me with a knife cause of the young earth theory i will shoot to kill. any questions?
*Slows down*
*Sets down knife*
No…
Just another joke from yahoo/anything else answers…
I think it is actually kind of an interesting question – especially since we don’t know the age of the person asking. They have made an observation that the television captures the state of light reflecting off an object and are asking the question, why doesn’t a reflective object still reflect?
For someone under, lets say, 13, it could really show someone who doesn’t just take the result for granted and tries to understand how things work.
thanks for ruining it Neeiil. God.
The rules of Failblog
1. Bash Trolls
2. Jump to conclusions (Never ever try to make sense of the FAIL.)
3. Give technicolor all your money.
Safety is always third…just thought I’d point that out…
Not in my rules. Now where’s my money?
Haha, you sound like a pimp.
Identity revealed. Abort mission! ABORT!
Actualy it’s
1. Collect Fails
2. ?
3. Safety
4. Profit!!!
Age is no excuse. If you’re able to ask a question on the internet, you should be able to understand how the damn TV works.
More like under six. Most kids over the age of eight have a general understanding of how the whole television thing works.
Hm.. that must be why so many americans don’t belive in evolution… The “survival of the fittest” concept can’t possibly be true…
Because your a vampire
STUPID….vampire
…hmmm
no you’re
Wish me luck folks – this should be my last post on Leopard (Mac OS X 10.5). Just got handed the new Snow Leopard (10.6, just released) this very minute and installing now. I’ll either be back shortly … or not.
Been nice knowing you ZA…
You can’t kill that which has no life.
Any trip is an experience that tests the life of the traveler. But this one especially will be a real passage, involving and exploring, unfolding and revealing the zombie and his apocalyptic world. We look forward to a radiant and deeply moving account of a “true pilgr!mage, a journey of the heart.”
~ mostly from the Publisher’s comments for Peter Matthiessen’s The Snow Leopard.
wow … even “pilgr!mage” is a bad word …
How write you are. I say DICK!!!
Right.
*hopes everyone ignores typo or act like it never happened*
*wishe’s TC a lot of luc*
Whoa Nellie! Why don’t you laern to put a K in luck. Your typo disgusts me.
Uh-oh, nesting’s gone awry.
Did ♪♫somebody♫♪ reply to their own moderated comment? Hmmmmm????
♪♫somebody♫♪ didn’t write right
Pssst Technicolor “learn” not “laern”.
(Pssst, 5 eagles – he was going along with the “typo” joke.)
pssst Judy thanks for the heads up.
*tries to comprehend what ‘laern’ means…*
*Takes “h” out of W oaNellie name.* for grammar mistake.
Luck!
Did he ever come back? ZA? Hello? *worries*
Uh oh.
He’s a smart zombie, surely he can find his way back easily… right?
Yes, but strictly speaking, there’s no underground in the blackness of OS failure. He doesn’t have anywhere to appear from.
I knew I better come back to save Apple’s reputation. There has been little fail, I’ve been playing around.
Actually, the first attempt failed for unknown reasons, it looked like it was working but after the reboot half an hour later I was still on 10.5. So I tried again, watched it for a while (paint drying is such an entertaining sport) and when I felt like it was working (rebooted and continued installing), I went to lunch. After my return, it’s done. All seems fine, with some minor exceptions (my EarthDesk plugin doesn’t seem to want to draw my desktop anymore, that’s the only problem so far!).
In all, a good update. But this kitty looks cold, it’s all covered in snow!
Glad you didn’t need to do repairs like Ice T did. (clickie)
I can’t … I just can’t make it through that. I’m weird that way, seeing that hammer and laptop and knowing what’s coming, I just can’t watch that. Not today.
Try me again Monday, I’m usually in a mood come Mondays.
Baseball bats and printers are okay tho, right?
I’ve had the “joy” of rebuilding Okidata dot matrix printers, so yeah. Violence upon printers is thoroughly enjoyable.
But who would want to take a hammer or a bat to such a cute little kitteh? Especially when it’s all covered in snow like that (clickie clickie)?
Awww! He is awfully cute. If you took a hammer to that kitteh, I’m pretty sure he would tear your guts out tho. BIG claws!
Agreed! But he IS a sweetie!
*extracts tho* Doh! That glass of wine just hit me.
no you won’t, your PC’ll explode and the snow leopard DVD will come out flying like a razor, bounce off a wall, sever the motherboard and screen, and then sever you.
It’s not a bad question, of the “Why is the sky blue?” or “How does the teflon stick the pan?” variety.
If the question was “help! i cant use mirror i videotapd yetserdy!!1!”, on the other hand…
how mirror got pragnent?
Well, I was just polishing it with windex after a few glasses of wine and then one thing led to another…
This is why I do not, in fact, Yahoo!
And I, almost never, Yeehaw!
seriously :[
No, really, guys. He IS serious. fuzz does not, ever, and I mean ever “yeehaw”.
Haw ye, haw ye, haw ye –
The court of the Rt. Hon. Yahoo Serious will now become disorderly.
YEE-HAW!
The Cuddle Puddle is now in session!
*grabs fuzz by robes and drags him into the puddle*
Not to be dis-court-eous, but I’m not much a one for long role play threads. So, please excuse me as I disrobe.
As you wish, Your Honor. Shall I …. take care of … your dictation?
The Cuddle Puddle is now in session? What time is it where you are?
♪I’m right here, where you are!♫
*drags Shadow into the puddle*
Margarita?
Certainly.
*hands Shadow a perfectly portioned glass of goodness*
*whispers suggestively*
Is this your first time in the cuddle puddle, shadow???
Name change fail.
*thwacks self*
No. But it’s the first time you’ve dragged me in
Alright, folks, it’s time for me to clock out. By the time I get home, have dinner and get back on-line, I expect this Cuddle Puddle to be full of happy, cuddling people, unnerstand??? Thought so.
*takes margarita away from the 18 year old*
*hands Shadow a limeade*
:p
Eh… I’m not 18.
19?
15.
Ah, makes sense. Sorry, I thought you claimed 17 last year.
Did I? Really?
Hmm…
Wait a minute, why does it make sense?
Yes Judy, right away!
*Dives into Cuddle Puddle, cuddles happily*
*Swan dives in to the cuddle puddle and snuggles up to Great Scott*
Heya! What did I miss today?
You missed the breaking of the space-time continuum.
P.S. Admiral, if you’re going to take away my margarita, can you at least get me a non-alcoholic drink that I like? I loathe limeade…
*Katzsqueezes*
I couldn’t say, I haven’t been on much myself. Of course there was a minor time-space problem, but AA cleared it up quickly.
Had a good day?
Eeep!
*jumps into the cuddle puddle so Judy doesn’t get mad*
Wouldn’t want the jerky dots angry at me, now!
*ducks*
(to Great Scott)
Yup! Drank a whole bunch of espresso at the coffee shop and now I’m bouncing off the walls! Wheeee! How was your day?
Well, my day was mostly conference calls. However, they’re finished, I’m in the Cuddle Puddle, and I leave work in 20 min.’s so things have improved drastically.
I don’t want to see an angry Judy, either…she’ll get purple in the face.
*dives in, does breast stroke*
*Attempts creative entrance, fails*
*Crawls on in*
You better be a really advanced robot, Qwaz, or else I dunno how long you expect to last in the water.
I can do just fine in waters up to 50 meters deep, but what puddle goes down that far?
Only the coolest ones.
*Reads above comment*
Woah. What am I, a watch?
Water? I thought the cuddle puddle was made of fluffy pillows and FBpeeps’ bodies?
I dunno. I’ve always envisioned the cuddle puddle as one ginormous hot tub where everybody sits in a circle and people can swim around and drink their bevvies and snuggle up to one another at will.
It’s kinda opposite of the bukkit. Everyone’s cuddle puddle is exactly what they want it to be.
*returns briefly*
*is pleased*
*sighs, cuddles up to whatever warm body is nearest*
*sighs again*
*breaths sigh of relief that Judy is pleased*
*breaths sigh of disappointment that he must go now*
Yes, my dearest failfriends, I must leave you now. The real world of cleaning beckons. Fear not: I shall return. But until then, I bid you adieu.
*goodnight squeeze*
*re-reads comments missed while away*
*feels embarrassed for providing a 15 year old with alcohol*
Eep! Did I miss the Cuddle Puddle?
*Sigh*
That’s bound to happen more and more these days, I suppose.
*cuddlesqueezes Chan*
*Squeezecuddles Katz*
Yay! I am pleased.
I’m 17 and did I miss the cuddle puddle?
Hey, Chani! You’re not too late, there’s still a bit of cuddling going on. Need a drinkie-poo?
(As for you, ShadowtheSniper, the kids’ section is over there >>>. Soft drinks only for you.)
Hi!
I would love a drink. Anything froufy and girly left? Perhaps something slushed?
*Squeeze!*
One floofy girly slushy drink, coming right up! Here you are! *tops with an umbrella and a pineapple and cherry garnish*
I’ll have some kinda drink. I don’t care what.
*hands one ’some kinda drink’ to Alice*
Enjoy!
Kinda quiet around here this evening, huh?
*drinks*
ONE MORE!!!!
Here, have two more, Alice. They’re kinda small.
*drinks*
*drunk*
When do we get to do the rolechat hornyplay?
*guides Alice back to her seat*
*Drinks girly drink*
*Devours garnish*
Thanks!
How is everyone today?
*gets in car* *drives on people’s lawns*
I’m good, Chani. How’s work?
Ridiculous. The customers are retarded and skeezy, and my boss is keeping secrets from me. I thought maybe she was considering firing me, but a co-worker told me that my boss is simply “trying not to put too much responsibility” on me, because I’m going back to school and she doesn’t want me to burn out. Hehe!
Well, it’s a new adventure every day, whatever job we do, eh?
Burn out? All you did was leave something in the toaster too long.
Every day is a new adventure. It’s whether or not the story is worth telling that counts.
(The store still smells like smoke in some places… I got in trouble for that one!)
My dearest failfriends, I have returned. I have just been cleaning my entire friggin’ house, full throttle, for the last three hours, whilst listening to various kinds of techno with the bass turned up.
*takes off shirt, slips into hot tub*
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I think it safe to say that I am thoroughly burnt out. So, on that note Judy, could you get me a coffee, if you would be so kind? Just a splash of creamer and packet of sugar, please. I need something to get my energy back up.
Not creamer, cream.
Yeesh, I’m so tired that I even forgot how I like my coffee.
Ahem!
Do you see a waitress apron anywhere upon this person?
I’ve worked my tail off all day long, catering to the whims and demands of nine insufferable attorneys. Came home and not only cooked dinner, but did three loads of laundry. All whilst attending to the other routine daily house chores and, god forbid, spending a few precious moments on the internet. And YOU, after a mere three hours of work, have the nerve to request that I prepare you a cup of coffee, prepared to your liking????
somebody’s blue in the face
Well… yes… but seeing as a) you’ve been preparing alcoholic drinks for the other members of the failfamily and b) I wasn’t requesting an alcoholic drink, I had been kinda hoping my request would go over better than it did.
*giggles*
I think I scared him away.
I took the ’sense of humor quiz’ on facebook the other day, and my answer was “sarcastic – others may see you as a bitch* – seems like it was pretty accurate, eh?
*is thoroughly scared*
Umm… yes, Ms. Judy… I mean, no… I mean…
*shuts up*
*snork*
Here’s your coffee, sweetie. With real cream and sugar. But it’s decaf – you’re only 15, and I don’t want to stunt your growth! *double snork*
Yikes! A code blue – Judy is about to blow a gasket. Quick somebody get Judy some blue milk! STAT.
*sips*
Thank you, Ms. Judy.
*gets Judy a cheery juice and bubbly*
*rubs her feet*
*resists….*
Your generosity and restraint are much appreciated, Admiral. No need to fear, Jenny, I’m fine now.
OK Judy, good.
*dumps out blue milk*
*offers a squeeze instead*
Thanks for the squeeze, Jen, and thanks for tossing the blue milk! That doesn’t even sound good!
Nobody wants milk from a cow with a blue moo’d.
’scuse me. I was leaking star wars.
Alright, Andy’s home from the football game. Nitey-nite, pals!
‘Night, Judylicious.
hmm, I just got back, and you’re leaving.
Have a good night Judy.
wow, not to be a hater but i feel compelled to say this. y’all must really have no lives, you click repeatedly on this website, hoping for new fails to show up and be the “first” to leave a comment. after which everyone tries to come up with clever and witty comments that may or may not have any relevance to the picture at hand. what you all fail to realize is that your comments are effing retarded, inane and by no means an iota as funny and clever as you losers think they are. get a life you web-surfing cyber dweebs, and stop dreaming about the “squeezes” that you give each other in the hopes that it’ll someday become a reality and you’ll actually get to touch another real live human being. It’s not going to happen. lol
I stopped caring after “not to be a hater”.
Also, “Cyber-Dweeb” is my superhero name, so please don’t steal it again.
Did it say something?
*shrugs*
At least this one didn’t say we were just engaging in roleplaying hornychat.
They obviously haven’t seen the concert DVDs.
Once these children grow up and have the joy of being chained to a desk at work, maybe they’ll understand.
He has to be a kid. This guy can’t be a troll, since real trolls look down on anyone who doesn’t stick around to make followup comments. It’s considered cowardly.
Yes, like jewel thieves and assassins, trolls have a code of honor. If you don’t stick to it, you’re a dumb ten-year-old.
See! Told ya! That Kid Is A F@#%Ing Troll
If you’re referring to a previous incident, I’m so glad I missed that.
I beginning to think that this particular breed of troll (what do we call this one again?) is, in fact, jealous of the camaraderie we have. They mock us for being friends. To me, that sounds like the behavior of one who has none.
*makes a note for the failpeeps site*
*squeeze*
No, don’t! It’s attracted to squeezing! YOU’LL DOOM US ALL!
I’m getting bored of being doomed.
I mean, the constant state of terror wears me out.
Moomin!!!!
*squeeeeeeze* wait that didn’t help did it?
Hello stranger!
*squeeze*
How about being mooded?
Did you say mooned?
*moons Ms B*
*pinches the full moon*
♫There’s a (moon out tonight) whoa-oh-oh ooh♫
While you’re back there can you put my ♂ back, please?
Of course, Jules!
*replaces Jules’ “♂”
(What? Whadya mean that doesn’t look right? He said ‘while [I'm] back there‘!)
thats for thursdays only i thought?
No, Thursdays are for going commando. Roleplaying hornychat is optional on Thursdays.
But mandatory on full moons, leap years and Kwanza?
Of course! And days that end with “Y”…
Step 1 is admitting you have a problem.
Step 2 is admitting you have no pants.
Step 3 is admitting you forgot to wear underwear today.
Step 4 would be admitting you did so on purpose.
Oh, c’mon guys, I went through all these steps before breakfast. When does the hard part start?
(Tee hee…I made a naughty innuendo rhyme!)
Step 5 is -*boom*. We’ve done it again.
You’ll have to talk to the Admiral about the hard part DW.
I won’t tell, but it rings a bell.
Why did I just get a mental picture of socks flying across the room?
Did we have roleplaying hornychat? Why wasn’t I informed?
Hee! I haven’t been tempted to say things from the blog on the outside, except for that! “Roleplay hornychat” has come to my lips on a few occasions, and I know I will say it one of these days.
You’re going to have to be a little more regular in your appearances, sweetie, if you don’t want to miss anything.
*smoochiesqueeze*
Have you tried capital letters before? Other than in words such as “It’s”?
The capitalization is the least of his offenses, Prime.
There are home-made (yes – from scratch) maple cookies in the break room. Please help yourselves.
We really do suck at ignoring them…don’t we?
Whoa, is that a fail?
I think this one was a copy-paste job. I’m pretty sure I read that before.
They all start to sound the same after awhile, I think.
It’s like talking to white noise.
No, white noise makes you feel good. What’s the bad version?
White snake.
♫ And here I go again on my own
Failin’ down the only inane road I’ve ever known …
White noise doesn’t make you feel good, but it does help mask sounds that are making you feel bad.
If trolls are the unpleasant sound, the sound of eating cake in the break room is white noise.
*munchity-munchy-munch!*
*passes some bubbly to wash this down*
¡¡ʍǝʞ-ƃuǝɥʇ
˙ɹǝɥʇǝƃoʇ spɐǝɥ ɹno ʇnd ǝʍ uǝɥʍ ʇı ǝʌoן ı
Yay! Thanks Nightshayde! *squeeze*
*nom nom*
Fank ouu!
*nom nom*
*helps self*
Yummy yum yummerz.
*squeezes for nightshayde*
Wow, not to be like a hater and junk, but I totally hate you guys. Cause you like are smart and funny and junk. I’m gonna go to the mall and dress the same as my friends and stuff… so there.
*snork*
*seconds that snork*
Maybe that’s how we should respond (if at all) to trolls. With snorks and squeezes. That ought to drive ‘em nuts!
Give ‘em of nightshayde’s cookies too, perhaps.
MY COOKIES ARE TOO GOOD FOR TROLLS!!!
Sowwy. Cheezpeeps, Failpeeps, Friends & Family ONLY.
*flutters her eyelashes*
Yes. But maybe that’s the point. Your cookies could make anyone happy. *suckupsqueeze*
I can tell you right now…that’s not gonna work. :p
*narrows her eyes at Shadow*
Nice try. I’ll let it slide this time.
I’ll consider making cookies from store-bought dough for the trolls. They’ll still be tasty — but not as good as the from-scratch ones.
Are you working late tonight, Nightshayde? If so, I catch you later.
*squeeze*
I am most definitely not working late tonight. I actually came in 2 hours early so I can leave at 5:45pm.
Nope – nothing fun. I’m having my eyes checked for the first time in years.
*squeeze*
Well, phoo. I can tell you’re going to show me a rip-roaring good time when I come out to visit you! :p
I save my fun for key people/dragons, DW!
I like it! Kill ‘em with kindness and hornychat!
But squeezing each other right? Because if we’re squeezing trolls I’m going to need a hazmat suit.
Oh well yeah! I mean safety is 3rd. Don’t wanna get troll cooties or something!
*giggles madly*
QWAZ! I Thuoght You Said You Won’t Be Coming Back For A Long Time!?
FAILER! I Did, But Apparently I Was Mistaken. I Had Actually Thought I Wouldn’t Make A Return Until Late-Mid December.
Wow, That’s difficult to capitalize every word. How do you do that?
DFT (Don’t feed the trolls)!
He asked an honest question, I gave an honest answer. I say this instance is exempt from that rule THIS time.
I suppose. *sigh*
I just don’t trust trolls.
Not Even The Grumpy Old Troll Who Lives Under The Bridge In Dora The Explorer?
There’s a bridge IN Dora The Explorer now? How big has that girl got, anyway?
I Put On The CAPS LOCK
Well, You Did Try To Read The Future,AnyWays Its Great To Have You back On The Fail Team,Man
There’s a team?
Do we have jerseys!?
Suhhh-weeet.
When are try outs?
Of course we have a team.. We’re 0-9 so far. So everything is going as planned.
There’s a plan?
Well, duh. I mean we are the Fail Team. So, logically, what do you think we’re trying to do?
Oh! Well that makes sense!
Mmhmm. It’s foolproof.
Yeah and I’m The Coach And We Have Jerseys One For MRN,QWAZ ,BREWSKI,KATZVonD,GRANNYCATFLAP, ALICE,MS B, THE MOOMIN,And Me,BUT, Not For LOLKATBURGLER She Stole Keymasters Keys And Stole Our Dear Friend GrannyCatFlap And I’m Not Trusting Her SO,BREAK!
Now I Wonder Where BREWSKI IS?
EVERYONE LITSTIN! ALICE JUST CHANGED HER AVATAR! LOOK!
*sulks*
I don’t get a Jersey????
PPPPBBBBTTTT!
*sigh* Here * Hands Judy a Jersey*Welcome to the team.
Thank you, failer.
Shut The F!@$ Up,wow,Because No one is listining to you and About What You Say What You Think Be Cause We’re All Family Here On The Blog And You Ar’nt. And To Stay Here You Have To Be Like us And Just comment And Talk Or You’ll Have To Talk To The Main Man Of The Team ,ME, THE FAILER.
This Was For Wow, Check His Comment its Pretty Mean And You’ll Thank Me For It.
No Worries Failer, We Figured That Out Already.
(Wow, that is hard, capping all words like that! So … counter-intuitive!)
It’s because the cameraman hates your FACE
Amazing phisic theory
Just please…don’t breed.
I never knew fuzz made those kinds of mistakes.
Fuzz? Pssh. More than likely it was on purpose.
I’m riding on a purpose, doin’ flips and shit.
That has got to be the most kickass purpose I’ve ever seen.
(Now all we need is a dauphin, speaking in a semi-French accent and shit.)
Where is Buffy when you need her?
Sheesh! I know, ya know?
THIS TWAT IS LAUGHING AT YOU NOW – IT’S A SET UP BY SOME ‘KERAZEE’ PERSON, YOU FOOLS.
Don’t reply to moderated comments.
failpeeps.wordpress.com/faqquity-faq-dont-talk-back/
So completely OT here, but I just found out that Reading Rainbow is going off the air due to budget cuts at PBS. It makes me sad that a show which helped nurture my love of reading is going away.
I think it’s considered an “art” now, and therefore is expendable.
Schools keep cutting things that are considered art, so much for a well rounded education.
*sigh*
Yeah, I guess I’m old fashioned to think it’s as important to teach kids why to read as it is how.
Out of five nieces three are big on reading and one of those is a major reader. Three out of five isn’t bad.
Not bad at all, that’s probably above average.
That’s more than half!
*wanders away with a Meatloaf earworm stuck firmly in head*
To the rescue!
♪And a crowd of young boys theyre fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They dont give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It aint what they call rock and roll
And the sultans played creole♪
Some people never get that. I have friends in their 50’s who don’t understand why I like to read. It makes me sad when they ask.
My little girl loves reading. She started reading a collection of classic Winnie the Pooh stories today — and she’s not quite 5 1/2 (will be in a couple of weeks).
I believe there are kids in her kindergarten class who are just starting to learn their letters.
PBS is going down hill at a shocking rate.
1
2
3
Testing testing 1..2..3..testing
Oh god no. Stop it, stop it right now.
Does he do this often?
He’s done it once before. Got all the way to fifteen, I think.
Oh my. That sounds…. really, really lame.
Yup.
I believe you’ll find this sort of behavior well-documented right here:
ht tp://failpeeps.wordpress.com/troll-identification-page/
*struggles with curiosity, remembers the cat*
I want to ask why he’s doing that, but I’m terrified by what the answer will be.
It wants attention. That’s all.
*offers Katz some cookies*
Mmmmmm… *munch munch* I ♥ your cookie distractions, Nightshayde! *squeeze*
…Distractions from what??
*munch*
*sneeky-munch*
*sneaky-squeeze*
*throws old, stinky sneaker
*
Fetch!
Hold on a second.
*Sets up window at edge of cliff*
NOW fetch!
*flies through window and fetches* ARF ARF.
*Looks over edge*
*Puts hands in pockets, walks away*
Best money I’ve spent in awhile.
*peers out the window* Heh…Any cookies left?
*flies through another window*
4…
5…
6…
7…
8…
9…
10…
*flies past a zombie troll and through another window*
He Did It Yestrday..Got Jenny To Do It Too
*flies past The Failer and flies through another window*
11
Who?
Hi everyone and good evening.
*squeeze all around*
*Janitors’ Union* We have to stop these zombie trolls from messing with the posts.
*one of the janitors* I think we should some ideas on ways to stop the zombie trolls. So..does anyone (fail bloggers) have an Idea on what to do about the zombie trolls?
Stupidity doesn’t reflect
*considers*
Okay, I have to admit, that was a bit funny. Though it’s been said before, it wasn’t said in quite this way, and reading that made me chuckle a bit. So… props.
What are you…the NYTs comment-post reviewer??
*snirkles a bit*
The NYT comment-post reviewer doesn’t use the word “props”
*snerk*
Call The “ZOMBIETROLLBUSTERS”?
♪
If there’s something strange
in your neighborhood
Who ya gonna call?
ZOMBIETROLLBUSTERS!
If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good
Who ya gonna call?
ZOMBIETROLLBUSTERS!!
♪
*The janitors’ Union’s lead janitor calls the zombietrollbusters for help*
We need to stop the zombietrolls so please help. *zombietroll noise in background* HELP!
BECAUSE YOU’RE A VAMPIRE DUDE!!! YOU’RE A VAMPIRE!!!
Wow, I wish someone would have thought of that earlier…thanks, Kam!
I bet this is the kind of guy who also stays up all night trying to find out if he snores.
l0l 7h15 guy 15 4 c0iVipl373 I2374I2d
lol This guy is a complete I2374I2d
The reason you can’t see yourself in the mirror on TV is simple and surprising.
Unless the mirror is facing directly at the camera, which it never is, the mirror is tilted relative to the camera, and SOMEONE ELSE is seeing your reflection.
But don’t worry, they can’t tell who you are, unless they’re a friend or relative or acquaintance and they recognize you.
And there it is. Now we know how the gubmint is watching us all!
Or if they’re an eskimo
this is more of an education system / parenting fail.
I’m sure that many of these dumb questions are fake, but this one seems pretty real…
The stoopitness of the general public is always surprising to me.
Why don’t the people in the horror movies hear me when I yell “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR, THE MONSTER IS GONNA GET YOU!”?
THE question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atc3sLq8W6jWVdmj.1nCcm4jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090809105147AAIG9r
)
damn he sucks big time
I found a remake
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090830101712AAuaGIw
Well obviously when the TV films the mirror straight on it would create a time and space continuum rift in which you see your reflection in a previously filmed sequence thus creating a hole in your personal timeline… So on purpose TV people make sure that nobody dies from hole’s in their personal timeline.
You can only a bit!!!!! That’s possible.
Sounds like a design flaw to me…
Maybe because you”re not getting HD tv? Hello people?????????
LOL!!
Question:
How would you guys, gals, and trolls describe me?
you try to engage others
sometimes you try too hard
Little, yellow, different
Do me next fuzz….
*hops up and down*
You’re someone. You’re very nice. Nicer than Jenny. And you hop up and down like a psychotic rabbit when you get excited.
oh oh oh! It’s your turn. You are a shadow cowboy in a fog of city lights – hey I just noticed you upgraded! Nice hat – you know what they say about big hats don’t you?
*hopes this isn’t going to be a double entendre*
Nooo… What do they say? And who gave them the authority to say it?
They say that the bigger that hat the better quality of head you get.
*They is the Giant Cowboy Hat Society of Greater Texas for the Betterment of Hatwearers Everywhere. Club.
Double entendre. I knew it.
I actually had to make it up to fulfill your self-fulfilling undesired special request.
Well, I was actually thinking it was going to more along the lines of “the bigger the hat, the bigger the man” or something like that, but yours works too. What do they actually say about men with big hats?
Big uhhhhh… ego.
Only the biggest.
That’s not the endearing quality you think it is.
Ya know, I had a feeling… but surely, there’s no remotely possible way for me not to be perfect.
Someone Nicer than Jenny, she hops up and down
(acting a bit like Yosemite Sam) –
But in truth she is darling and just loves to clown,
inside she’s a sweethearted, sugary yam.
*Pets warm fuzz in the cozy stillness of evening.*
Ahhhh
Yer a Cool Cat!
She’s too stupid the mirror won’t let her be reflected.
excuse me captain obvious, but we know that already…
LOL Who would ask a dumb question like that
It’s cuz you’re not channeling the magic in the TV through your eyes hard enough.
You really gotta put some effort into it.
You can do it, all you have to do is believe in yourself.
Maybe a bigger TV would help.
oh, im sorry if i offended u.. i called chatmort captain obvious because hes an idiot… im sorry for insulting u…
hey, that isn’t a mirror,
♪Without a trace…♪
♪…of doubt in my mind♪
c’mon, it’s like wondering why a cow doesn’t moo and freak out when you get close to it on the television screen
They do when I try…
Ghillie suit win!
Didnt even see that bike coming.
Right fail fail?
It’s rather a win since he asked the mighty question
Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that this mob behavior is hiding the fact that most people here probably don’t have a coherant answer to that question? It can’t be given in a single sentence as most are thinking, unless we assume refraction is completely understood by the asker. In which case, a question about refraction, which would go like “how do mirrors work?” is not a stupid question.
It is possible to tweak the colours to reproduce a mirror effect from a mirror on TV, if your screen is good enough and clean, but that would be making a new mirror, not making use of the reflected one of course.
You’ve got a point there, if you go onto his page & look at some of his answers, he is dangerously intelectual.
Only a moron could think the answer is not obvious.
Also, “refraction” is not involved.
*** It is possible to tweak the colours to reproduce a mirror effect from a mirror on TV, if your screen is good enough and clean ***
Uh, no it’s not. Please die.
look at his other questions. he obviously isnt retarded. i trully believe the guy who questioned this is a TROLL
That’s a misnomer, trolls are retarded.
wow…just wow…lol
I know someone has had to say this by now… but, my answer would’ve been, “Well, it’s because you are not a vampire, but you play one on TV.” Pow.
You just have a cheap TV!!! Mine can do that!! You have to be in the 5000 – 10000 bucks tv price range to see reflections of the mirrors, you morron!!
Interesting…
I don’t think this is fake, sadly.
Also 666th comment LUL
*gasp*
Well, then I’m probably 667th!
seriously, wtf?!
are you retarded or just trying to be funny?
A REFLECTION IN A TELEVISION MIRROR?!
Actually, however this is a fail, what would you answer to a child, if it asks you this question?
You can’t see yourself cause you are stupid enough to be invisible
Bloody good question
wow this one is pretty funny. not hilarious funny; i could see Steve Martin as the Jerk, or Will Ferrill as Ron Burgundy saying this in a movie. Get back to me if you have details or confirmation of Anchorman to be filmed this year/next. Would be a riot! Who here loves Anchorman like Brick loves lamp, or carpet? Goodnight everyone and remember, you stay classy San Diego. I’m Ron Burgun..dee??
maybe because you are gay.
wat
I’ve been told gay people can’t be recflected on a mirror into a TV set
Another peson posted the same question and someone actually answered:
Your question makes me smile. Here is why it doesnt happen
If a mirror were in front of you light would go from you towards the mirror , bounce off of the mirror and head back towards your eyes.
If a mirror is on tv here is what happens:
Light comes from you and goes toward your tv, some light goes into the tv, some reflects back at you (Becasue of the glass tv screen) but no light goes back up the cable wire (1000’s of miles) to the camera and towards the mirror, and reflect back. Also note that that stuff you see on tv is recorded, even live tv is recorded. Even if the light from you could go back up the cable wire (or satellite tv..whatever you us) it would end up in a studio some where and hit a dead end.
you my friend, are made of fail
Im proud to be an american!
I’m proud not to be an north american.
America is more than USA.
when i am ruler of the entire world, people like this will get automatically castrated. honestly, there is zero reason why this person should ever breed.
vote for me!
HAH
Dickhead.
I wondered that too…..when i was like 7
Maybe that person is seven.
Hey people, This is not fail. I understood the question.. He’s talking about the reflection of mirrors & reflections of TV screens. When you think about it this way, you will get the idea =D .. U are big failers
… please die
You = FAIL.
cause youre penis/boobs is/are always in the way?
How is this a fail? The boy is used to have an old TV with glass. And just got a new Plasma or LCD. And he wondered why he couldnt see him self, so he wondered why..
You are a fail.
it’s people like this you just want to take and punch in the nose
O_O rly, WHY?
what is that site called?
i wonna see if i can see stupid stuff like thats 2
Cuz you touch yourself at night.
This is a question that a really smart dog would ask.
If it is because one is a vampire, then it’s better it doesn’t reflect…those sparkles will get in your eyes *shoots herself for the reference*
Darn! They took the question down! Still quite funny though. lol
what happened to the failblog i used to know
if you don’t know something, the smart thing to do is ask. and what a powerful imagination it takes to see something in a non-conventional way!
and yet, what scorn and derision we heap on someone with the courage to ask for answers and the uniqueness of mind to see something a different way.
*sigh* so sad–where have all the original thinkers gone?
Stupidity =/= “uniqueness of mind.”
Science fail!
Actually, you can see yourself, as long as its live television
There’s a mirror on my TV? Then how come I’ve never seen it?
Because you’re a vampire? O.o
not?
oh please this is a copy-cat off an older post asking about involving a computer monitor instead. people really cant be that stupid.
Haha, reminds me of “when I move to the side of the TV, why can’t I see the side of the guy’s face?”
pba 2009
What is this site where these questions come from??
Must be a vampire…
yahoo questions, hilarious.
This cant be real…Please tell me this isn’t real…There cannot be people this stupid in this world…This has got as dumb or maybe even more dumb than the girl that posted the question asking if she would die from accidentally inhaling cigarette smoke into her lungs (that question was also posted on yahoo and featured as a fail on here) but seriously if there are people that stupid on this planet then we truly are doomed cause think about if we continue to allow stupid people to live and multiply/populate then they can spread and take over whole towns, cities, states(just look at Louisiana and Kansas and West Virginia), and eventually whole countries (oh wait its too late for Canada) but ya come on this is ridiculous I mean why do we even allow stupid people to post such retarded questions? I mean can’t they filter the stupidity level of questions its as easy as having someone review the question before it gets posted to the public and if its too stupid it just doesn’t get posted and a warning should show up on the users screen saying something along the lines of “Please ask a smarter question, Thank you have a nice day sniffing paint.” Okay that’s my rant of the day thank you for reading this if you have any comments please submit them to my “I can really care less box” its located directly up your ass so just compose your comment on at sticky note crumple it up or fold it neatly and shove it directly up your ass and eventually…. I’ll never see it see how that works? Great right! Ya ok later everybody peace!
sorry to say, but i have asked myself the same queation once (when i was really drunk).
go to gothmix.com the first social networking site for vampires its totally free i swear
I cry for humanity.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090830054435AAcpTMJ
I ASSUME these aren’t real, but I can’t put such stupidity past humanity. People are stupid *sigh*.
FIRST
Please, for the good of humanity, do not procreate.
I don’t even think I fully understand the question!
I didn’t even know this level of retardation existed. I seriously lold at this.
o m f g, the guy that wrote that either has a lame sense of humor or should get his head checked
Clearly a fake. Don’t get too excited everyone…
(the following punchline joke only works if Tiebreacker (the asker) is a heterosexual man / homosexual woman / Celibacy Victim)
BECAUSE TVs ARE LIKE YOU, RECEIVERS ONLY. (up the ass)
because ur blonde…..
Stupid Alcoholic Asian Blondes…In Alaska.
it’s because mirrors in movies are only actors.
if you try to provoke hitler in “the great dictator” he stays totally calm, and do you know why?
because charlie chaplin is actually a very nice person!
I get it….they’re asking about mirrors being shown on TV