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LMAO!
This is Garage Parking Win! Not Garage Parking Fail!
Maybe a Garage Door Fail.
More of a win.
OK, I’m going to talk about the fail here. Do you think the driver did this on purpose? It almost looks like it. If so, it must have been a bad day at the office.
Totally on purpose.
Looked to me like there was no time to stop. There, I commented on the fail, can we get back to roleplay hornychat now?
Did we ever leave?
Nope. Carry on.
Okay – which are those bonus pieces? This? *touches* Or that? *pinches* Hmmm, seems all natural to me…
Down here, *points to knee* don’t touch it though! it hurts!!
Ah yes, your surgery. How are you?
I’m good! Limping about in my giant cast, getting grossed out by the number of stitches across my knee, but good.
Saying “scars are manly” won’t help, right?
*soothingsqueeze*
*eyes well up* Nope, won’t help. It’s ok, I have lots of scars from sports.
*squeezeforcomfort*
comment on this post looks like a thread fail
That’s right! Your knee surgery!!
*air-pats WIK’s knee*
I got stitches in my knee when I was little. That numb feeling is still there when my scar is touched.
*squeeze!*
Oh god, I hate that feeling.
It’s my entire knee from about half way up my calf to half way up my thigh… Is that permanent? OMG!
It should get better, but I doubt it’ll disappear completely. I had a couple of big surgerys last year and the scars are still numb – but not as much.
*eek* I can however feel where they attached the ligaments to my bones. That gets slightly uncomfortable, mostly when I think of how they got to those bones. *urk*
Could be worse. You could be forced to imägine how they were tearing out your entire intestines…
I had a severe injury as a child, my left knee got majorly punctured in a bicycle crash. To this day, my left knee has no feeling. Dead.
Yours will get better though, incisions heal better than the kind of trauma I had.
WIK, I have a large scar on my abdomen, and for quite a while it was numb like that. I was so scared…I thought I’d never feel anything there again. It took a while, but I have almost all the feeling back. Brewski’s right…incisions heal and nerves regenerate and you’ll get the feeling back.
OMG Arthur! That’s horrible!
Thanks DW & Brew, I hope it does, even if I can’t feel it, I just hope that everything went OK and that the dead people parts don’t get rejected.
So far so good. I go tomorrow to see how things are going on the inside.
*blows healing kisses at WIK’s knee*
I once did the smiley face “tattoo” with a lighter, did it to hot and long, it left a scar that to this day is numb. That was 23 years ago. Hope yo feel better soon.
*Blows a kiss to WIK to make it feel better*
I had major damage to my leg in a car crash in 2003. The tibial plateau and the patella were shattered (amongst other injuries), and the area was reassembled. I had a numb area all around the knee, from about halfway down my calf, on the front and the side, to just above the knee. I imagined a sort of oval area. This has shrunk in 6 years–it is much smaller, but is not completely gone. Once in awhile, I get a weird feeling of cool water trickling down the side of my leg. I’m very grateful that it has improved. I’m sure that the numbness will disappear almost completely, eventually. It will never be perfect, but I’m also grateful I can still walk.
Nah, she stopped, the door closed and then she crashed through it. Either it was on purpose or she confuzzled the brake and the gas pedal.
No way, she didn’t get confuzzled, she got mad and ran it down.
Fatal Attendant.
I’m not gonna be ignored, Dan!
*snork!*
u have no life
Ohmigoodness…I thought the door closed as she was still moving forward, but you’re right! She stopped!
*headdesk*
Her foot must have slipped off the handbrake.
*snork*
RoadDriveway Rage.Gar-rage.
Ga-rage against the machine.
(*pays royalty to Brewski.*)
I recommend lounge against the man instead!
Richard Cheese “Gin & Juice”
It’s Lounge against the MACHINE.
*Chuckles*
Steer-rage.
IQ below ave-rage
Land lubbing yarage.
alcoholic bar-rage
Artillery bar-rage.
It’s no mystery, it’s butlerage.
Do they have any leve-rage?
I don’t think we should encou-rage this kind of behavio(u)r.
the driver stopped when the door was coming down, then floored it through said door.
On the outside of the door someone painted a scenic vista with a road wandering off into the sunset.
That tricky road runner!
Are you sure that it wasn’t a tricky coyote?
I’m not so sure the driver stopped before hitting the door. The whole video appears to be a series of still photos.
If you blink really fast you can see them.
Yup, defiantly on purpose. You see the car STOP, then the door close while the car is still not moving, then the car crashes through. It’s either a bad day, or just fake. Fail Fail?
Maybe it was his boss’s house?
I actually may have done that this morning if it had happened to me.
*grumble grumble, stoopit traffic*
I did that once. I was in this underground parking garage, and it was filled with confusing signs and arrows and every time I tried to leave through a place that said “exit”, it always had a smaller sign next to it saying “not an exit”.
Eventually I drove around one of those little barrier thingies (did not break it) and got the hell outta there.
I don’t blame you. You can only survive so long in those plastic bags!
*SQUEEEZE*
Poor fluffy. All he wants to do is grow up, migrate back to the place he was born and spread his spawn… and then somebody shoves him in a plastic bag, like the condom from hell.
(She.)
(Sheesh.)
Seriously?
*headdesk*
*x2*
Somebody give me the bukkit…
*checks in pants*
Yep. Seriously.
God. Now that is embarrassing. I’ve known you since what, 8-9 months ago? More? And all this time I’ve thought you were a guy…
I’m still waiting on that bukkit.
Oh that’s ok. I always thought you were a shadow.
Nope. I’m a shadow cowboy lost in a city of light.
You’ve been here for 8-9 months?!?! How is it that I first met you about 2 weeks ago?
*sigh* I’m an old regular. Been posting for more than a year, now. I took a long break during a good portion of that year… probably 6-7 months. And now I’m back. And you are all thrilled, I can tell.
Wait a sec… 9 months, but you were gone for 7?! That equals 2 months here. *is proud of herself*
*Shadow dances*
So you posted a for little bit, and then then 9 months later you starting posting again… At what point did you become a regular?
I’ve been posting for a over year, yeah?
I’ve known fluffy for 8-9 months unless I’m mistaken. It might be more. Still with me?
I was gone from Fail Blog for 6-7 months? Still good? Sweet. So…
That means that I HAVE been posting year for over a year. Fluffy I think started after me, so that means she’s been posting for 8-9 months.
Through simple math, we draw the following conclusions:
1. I was posting on Fail Blog for 6-7 months before I left.
2. I was posting on Fail Blog (with fluffy there to) for 2-3 months before I left.
3. Safety.
QED.
*posting here. Not posting year.
Math always f*cks my brain up.
*sigh*
Patronizing the regulars who have never met you isn’t the best tactic, Shadow. Seriously.
Ahhh. I think I understand now.
Don’t know…Don’t care.
I don’t understand anymore…
**squeeze*’s Arthur, drags him away from the madness. *
So.. umm.. yeah.
Welcome back Shadow. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure you were the same Shadow I met here a year ago (yes, it has been that long) because you changed your avatar when you came back.
Yup… I am. Sorry about what I said, I was being a bit of a jackass…
*pats Shadow*
We all have those days. Here, have a cookie.
*offers plate of cookies*
*follows WIK and Arthur*
*hopes where ever they’re going, there will be alcohol of some kind*
*and dancing*
*noms*
*squeeze*
*continues nomming*
*hands Judy a Pina Colada with a paper umbrella and a fruit garnish*
*does her Axel Rose dance*
*wiggle dances next to Lurk*
*pauses dancing to squeeze Ms B and hand her a Pina Colada with paper umbrella and fruit garnish*
*resumes dancing*
My guess:
Driver of van approches parking garage and observes the door is open.
Driver, ready to enter the garage (far lower light level with the outdoors) removes his/her sunglasses.
Driver looks down to seat/console for eyeglass case, and places sunglasses in same.
Driver starts to pull forward before looking back up……
*SUV
*her
But a good theory!
Can anyone walk me through the steps of creating and using an avatar?
Not necessarily her.
The CEO may have driven the vehicle through the door, but his secretary (the CEO drove her to work after she stayed the night at his place) was the only one sober enough to exit the vehicle on foot.
(way too cynical scenario, I know).
I think she got bumped by the car behind her, at least that’s what it looks like just before the door closes.
Eh, I Seen Better.
How could it not be on purpose? Her car comes to a complete stop before the door is completely down, then she waited for the door to come all the way down, paused for at least a second and proceeds to drive through the door. So we have three options, its on purpose and she decided to idiotically throw away money, she’s blind, or she has so little of an IQ she doesn’t understand how a garage door works…take your pick.
i think they wernt thinking and pressed the remote to open it even though it was open….wich is more fail….lmfao!
1. She pulled up too far away from the key lock or pass scanner.
2. She tried to reach for it without putting the car in park.
3. You can see the vehicle when the door is closed, it rolls slowly.
4. The door is made of thin aluminum.
5. If she was reaching out the window, her foot likely would have slipped on to the gas, but even without the gas pedal pressed, the car has enough energy after 4-5 feet of rolling in (D)rive to go straight through such a flimsy door.
I thought bulletproof can also…
X5 win, baby!
HEY KOOL-AID!!!
OH YEAH!!!!
Welcome To The Fail Garage.
she was so drunk or high?! what i think
best first ever
No garage can contain me!!!
Women drivers…
*fires flamethrower, burning OT to cinders*
What kind of auto insurance rates do YOU pay, hm?
Well considering that he is a teleprompter and therefore can’t drive, I would say his rates are non-existent.
Yeah, okay, that is a BMW WIN.
As opposed to… http://failblog.org/2009/08/27/bmw-fail/
Damnation I mean to post this one… http://failblog.org/2009/05/01/audi-billboard-fail/
McFail! *SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE* Woohoo!
I’m having such a brain fart day. I should NOT be working.
You should tell your boss that.
*snorkgiggle*
WTF? The brake pedal is the one on the left!
Your move, garage door!
“Checkmate.”
That BMW hauled a$$!
hahahahaha! That was horrible! I’m still giggling!
*snickers*
It’s your day!
Fine! I’ll just go through anyway!
Drive-through service.
Wonder is it’s Automatic Door Fail’s wife?
Hehehe! They used the same tactic…
Interpersonal relationship based on personal breakthroughs.
There is a Doors song somewhere in there.
Don’t you love her madly,
don’t you need her badly
Don’t you love her as she’s
breakin’ on through the door
… to the other side when the time to hesitate is through driving through your suburbs, into your blues, into your blues, HELLO!!!,
I love you, let me jump out of your way–as she come round my street, now, she come to my house, and knocked down my garage door–G-L-O-R-Y BE!!
I was thinking
♬ Well, show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why
Oh, don’t ask why ♬
Too sophisticated as a theme for this fail – should just be a song from some 60′s garage band.
Nothing can stop me! I am SUPERCAR!!!!!
*cape billows in the wind*
door not terrorist proof
fluffy not terrorist proof, either.
Mungo not understand why you make fun of him speak.
Mungo Jerry?
Mungo not get it.
If her Daddy’s rich take her out for a meal – if her Daddy’s poor just do what you feel…
Such a happy song, it always makes me smile.
Nooooooo!!! Didn’t you see the Incredibles?! No capes!
DAHling!
Come in, come in!
You want Supercar? Try this:
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeANrJ00hH0
BMW says NO to the Door
test
everde, Vinny.
-amundo
-osterone
-arossa? No, BMW.
she clearly stopped and then progressed knowing it was closed. stick it to the man win!
noone knows a woman better than her car.
It’s too late! We can’t back in now!
*prepares flamethrower for first idiot to make a gender-related comment*
Are you saying that they will engender your wrath?
esexually, yes.
You should have maled me the rules
Y is that?
X-actly!
HAHAHA! Men can’t multitask!
They never ask for directions when lost.
FWWWOOOOOOSSSHHH!!!!
Ha ha ha HAAA!!!
And men LOVE flamethrowers!!
I’m just love one in particular.
Awwwww!
*awwww* Sorry couldn’t suppress that one.
Hee! You’re both in awww here, I can tell!
(Now I’m embarrassed…that I spelled “I” incorrectly.)
Awww! Wait, was that the appropriate spot to say that?
*waqs Arthur*
Sorry Ma’am.
Are you looking for my awe spot??
I better not, Dragon already shocked me after my awe.
I’m torn between the urge to say “awwww” and the urge to *snortgiggle* over your spelling of “I”.
Oooh, I think that’s a ripsnorter!
An awwwwesome one!
*smooch*
This smooch has drifted away from me…c’mere!
*schnuggle-smooch*
Men don’t get lost, they just sometimes can’t find their way.
You mean men sometimes take a “short”cut?
Men don’t get lost, the world just fails to put things in their proper place.
I have never been lost, but I will admit to being momentarily confused for several weeks
-Daniel Boone
I’m lost, therefor I’m a man.
Watch out for that -
*CRASH!*
- door.
♪ George, George, George of the Jungle
Strong as he can be…
George, George, George of the Jungle
Owes some insurance fees ♫
*snorkle*
Elton John wrote a song about this too…
Don’t let the door go down on me
Although I search for my brake, it’s always another door I see
I’d just allow a fragment of your door to wander free
But losing everything is like the door going down on me
That was a beautiful rendition ozcup.
“Break On Through” (To the Other Side)” by The Doors. Enough said.
Bad quote mark. Bad.
Now how can I get a “Soul Kitchen” reference in here?
Where there’s an SUV there’s a way.
FEMALES + CELLPHONES + HUGE SUV’s
Brewski???
= FLAMETHROWER to Roadkill!
That Roadkill is awfully skwerlly.
You’re right! Coincidence?
doubt it.
He’s certainly singing the same old, tired tune.
no, that was someone else.
I think I’ll take this one, Brewski.
*pulls out both sixguns from holster, aims, fires, kills… all in less than a second*
Missed!
I was behind the SUV!
I’m the f-cking shadow cowboy. I’m
notsorry, but I don’t miss.it’s hard to miss an SUV
Okay whatever. *shoots again* You’re dead.
Pfft, Chuck Norris could beat your @$$ any day
……..and why are you trying to KILL me?
Ooh, some road kill! Borrows GBF’s jeep and drives over the pile of mangled animal flesh a couple times.
Gee thanks, now this idiot is in my domain. Why can’t you living folks deal with your own problems, why do you have to keep sending them to me?
Because if you don’t want him as part of the Horde, you can just eat his body.
It’s a win-win-lose scenario.
But … but … he’s so full of it his eyes are brown. Do you know what that makes him taste like?
Moose?? As in the chocolate variety??
Naw, tastes like chicken.
*dips finger into brown sludge*
Yep, that’s chicken all right.
I thought you only ate acorns. Or at least tried to.
Yes, but sometimes the soft sh*t just don’t cut it.
Really? Never would have thought that…
Anyone know the secret receipe?
If my sources are correct, there is no way to make chicken salad out of that. Sorry. I don’t think even Skratdaddy can work that miracle.
:ick:
*is so glad she missed this conversation until well after lunch*
Sowwy, ZA…but the idiots invade everyone’s space. It’s what they do.
Erm.. ZA, you have Hitler, Stalin, Mao… stop whining!
“You’re going to fail me for that, huh?”
Hey Shadow, the other day you mentioned you were from the Willamette Valley. Which part are you from?
I guess Willa? NO, I say Mette!
I’ll go with Lamett.
At least we agree that it’s not the valley.
“It’s Willamette, dammit!”
Common refrain from locals who get annoyed by the constant mispronunciation of the word.
(rhymes with “dammit”)
Hee…! When I first moved there, someone said that to me! I tried to pronounce it the French way.
Is that correct? I know someone from there that pronounced it like “a mit”.
Yup. It’s pronounced “will-AM-it”.
Out here on the US east coast, everybody says “Ore-e-GONE”.
*sigh*
It’s ORE-ah-gun!
Hah! I have never heard that pronunciation. Maybe it’s a New England thing?
Certainly not a Lung Eye-lynd dialect.
Here, Des Moines is pronounced De Moine (silent e). You can alway tell the out-of-staters when they pronounce it how it looks…and top it off by pronouncing Iowa as I-o-WAY.
*laughs out loud* I love Des Moines but i’ve never tried to pronounce the state I-o-way
You can always tell a native Missourian because they pronounce it “Missourah”.
Do you live in Des Moines, SuzieQ? (Even in Minnesota, it’s pronounced De Moine)
I KNOW!!!! Sheesh!
…Of course, I live in a state that has a town named Versailles…and it’s pronounced “ver-SAIL-ils”. Yeah, I’m not kidding.
Here in Wheeling, we have Eoff Street. Anyone care to tackle that pronounciation?
*Head explodes*
Um….lessee….
Is it pronounced “yuff”?
Here, we have people who pronounce the local town Rose Creek: Rose Crick.
Nope. Try again.
Is it pronounced like “Oaf”?
Im going to go with Afe.
Now here’s someone who understands how we talk. Yes, it’s oaf. And we say crick here, too. Ten internets to Shadow!
E-off. It’s what you tell someone before you tell them to F-off.
I’m a native of South Dakota, and you can always tell an out-of-stater by the way they call Pierre “pee-yerr” rather than “peer.”
I always get mixed up – I was born in Michigan but now live in NC. In Michigan, Charlotte is “Shar-LOTT,” while in NC it is “SHAR-lut.” I screw up the Michigan pronunciation every time and my cousins laugh at me.
We have a city here called Hurricane, pronounced HER-i-cun. If you try to pronouce it like the storm, you get severly chastised by the locals.
How the hell does Willamette rhyme with dammit?
Depends on how you pronounce it.
Willamdammit Valley…nice ring
*holds out for a ring with a larger diamond*
While you’re here, you may as well pick up a rose or two. The Valley is famous for its roses.
It’s pronounced Will-am’-it.
Dragon beat me to it. Crap.
You haven’t seen the last of me!
I am surrounded by cities and streets with names of French origin that are not pronounced the French way. It is very frustrating.
England’s the worst for Pronunciation.
Worcestershire or Leicester for instance
Like the region, or what city, exactly?
I meant the city. I lived in Eugene for four years and fell in love with the area. As long as you don’t say you live in Corvalis were cool.
*tosses ‘ up to were*
Nope. I don’t live in Corvallis.
Salem for me. This is where it all happens, B*TCH!
Salem is a cool town. I saw Tool there in 1996. Good times.
*misses his college days in Oregon*
Yeah… Oregon’s a fun place. We don’t get enough respect down here in Washington’s Mexico.
Washington’s Mexico?? Is that like Castro’s Cuba?
No, it’s an old joke that Stephen Colbert does. For some reason he’s always bashing Oregon as… he refers to us as Washington’s Mexico… California’s Canada… Hell, if I remember correctly, when Obama was elected, and he was making joke proposals about new things that should happen during Obama’s presidency, one of his proposals was to detach Oregon from the rest of the USA and let us float away.
*as a joke
gee, I thought that was how you were supposed to do it…..
She did everything right, she pulled up, stopped, pushed the button for the remote, waited for the door and proceeded into the garage. Everything done right, except for the open your eyes and see what’s before you part.
hee hee
hey, ZA, did you get a chance to check out Fido?
She later told the police : “I tough I saw an opening.”
But, it was a really tough opening to crack!
tough break
CUERDA DE MONGOLICOS LOS Q COMENTAN EN ESTA PAGINA….PURA MARIQUERA ES LO Q HABLAN
WASSNE SCHEISSE, DU HAST’S ERKANNT
WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?!
TIAGO is being an arse, and I have no clue what Arthur is saying. I only recognize … one word. That’s the extent of my German.
Scheiße?
Gesundhiet?
Gesundheit. I wanted to knoe if Scheiße is the word you know. Judging by your reaction – no.
DAMMIT! Knoe typing skills today!
*helpless laughter*
*ahem*
*taps foot*
…What was that, sweets?
*shouts before bunker door closes*
IT’S ARTHUR’S FAULT!!! BLAME IT ON MEEEEeeeeee
*door slams*
*picks up the little club from the Waq-a-Troll game*
*chases the Admiral into the bunker*
I’ll leave the two of you to be alone then!
*locks the bunker from the outside*
*wanders away, whistling innocently*
*makes popcorn*
*sits down to watch*
*munch, munch*
Failsoaps. Gotta love ‘em.
Please, don’t me mad at me!
*leaves*
Yes, don’t be mad at the Admiral. Be mad at me if you have to, I started this.
Well, Arthur, since we’re in this bunker together.
*SMOOOOOOOOOCH!*
We GOT you!!
TEEHEEE!!!!
…As if we would ever fight.
*boops Arthur’s nose*
That’s what you get for calling me “ma’am”.
Ooooh Admiral!
Dragon, since you assumed what I might want, I’ll tell you what I really want: That you and the Admiral stay the intelligent, witty, brilliant and adorable couple that you two should be; I don’t want you to be mad at him because of a joke attempt that I originally started.
Please.
Yeah, thanks. You could OF waited for a couple of minutes, then I wouldn’t OF posted that^.
*grumblegrumblegrumble*
*waits for it to sink in…*
Sweetie…we were pulling your leg. See?? ^^
*cuddlesqueezes Arthur and smooooches the Admiral*
*SNORKROFFLE!!*
Have course, you know we adore you, Arthur!!
The
made us do it.
I believed it.
…and I’m still unsure whether Dragon was angry but cooled down quickly or not… But whatever, as long as you two get along I’m alright with you pulling my leg!
*doublesmoochsqueeze*
Nope! I hope you will appreciate this…we conspired off-blog from the get-go.
I was never angry, you silly doofus. I could never be angry with my favo(u)rite guys.
*group squeeze-smooch*
You are mean! Both of you! Revenge shall be mine!
*Raises hand*
Suggestion: Come back to the US for starters, Arthur!
*group squeeze and smooches*
Now Arthur, go make me a sammich!
*puts down popcorn*
*stands up*
*claps happily*
Bravo! Unforgettable!* Simply exquisite! You were all amazing!
OOooh, yes! Revenge in person is MUCH better than any virtual revenge!
Hmm. Does it look like our smilies have had a wee bit too-close shave on everyone else’s computer? Or is it just me…?
And if you can’t swing that for some time…you’ll find us on the 10 AM FBT fail.
The smilies don’t appear any different to me.
Hmm…the right-hand edge is sheared off on my screen. Just a leeeeetle bit, but enough for me to notice.
Revenge on Dragon pt. 1 – check.
*bats eyelashes innocently*
Not buying it. You are evilistic eviltarians of the evilest kind! Evil have to go to bed now.
Good night!
“SKA-WEEEEEEEEZE”
Roleplay Horneychat of the evillest kind! Mwuaahahahaha….
G’night, sweet stuff. Yer such a good sport! *SKA-WEEEZIES!*
‘Night Arthur, boy I envy you, its only 3:24 in the afternoon here close to De
Moines
‘Night, Arthur. Sweet dreams.
I didn’t see that word up there… *is confuzzled* what does it mean, and how do you say it?
Clicky and click on the speaker symbol of the fourth explanation from the top.
Russian is also good for cursing:
Mudak
Chyort
Svoloch
Thanks folks. I’ve just learned that no one in the office knows German curse words.
Yup.
I bet I know which word!
*gentle, post-surgical squeeze*
DU haha. That’s all I know. It’s ‘you’ right? UGH I don’t know.
Correct. A+
WooHoo! do I get private lessons now?
Sure, baby.
*click*
Better go check what’s on sale at DW’s shop.
Dunno what he waqs yelling, I just wanted to participate.
Dammit!
*waqs self*
Now that was just waq.
Waqs on, waqs off.
*mumblebunchofwaqosmumble*
*munches waqaroni with cheese*
I waqamole with a mallet and spread it on nachos.
All you guys do is waq waq waq, why don’t you talk about the fail??
we’re much too moleplay hornywaq … speaking of which:
*swaq*
I think she’s friends with the guy from the airport.
Apparently her friend neglected to teach her his object avoidance capabilities then.
She’s been taking door lessons from this guy.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/08/17/understanding-automatic-door-fail/
Yes. That’s exactly what I was saying.
Oh, I should have known I had missed something. You said airport and I thought …
fail blog.org/2009/08/21/airport-security-fail/
“I don’t know what happened. It just closed right when I was entering the garage…Stopped?…No of course I couldn’t have stopped in time. It all happened so fast”
I just really have to ask, why would you go all the way through? wouldn’t you hear the crash when you innitaly make contact and then stop. or even see that you are driving through a closed door and stop? I just don’t understand how a person could do this….
Especially when you are starting from a stop about a foot away from the door.
Must of thought it was a paper door like at football games the players run through.
A paper door for me?!!!
*5 eagles pulls out lighter and lights Blog Ninja’s door on fire…….and runs away(spy vs spy).
*drives through flaming door* (Looks even cooler that way)
*uses custom black flames*
“Damn garage doors always closing when I’m right in front of it. Die, garage door! Die!”
*runs back in screaming from previous fail, holding empty glass*
Only another hour with these guys. We got through hyperlinks more or less intact but you’re gonna have to wrap me up in a style sheet and throw me overboard.
But before I lose the last few sane brain cells I have left, I wanted to be sure to invite you all to ICHC (lolcats) on Monday, August 31 for a Benefit Concert for (well, against) Real Life Syndrome. We will be having Cheezstock, 3 hours of Music and Mud. There will be songs, dancing, mud, food, muddy food, and all kinds of groovy stuff. One of the songs I will be “performing” mentions you guys, so be sure to tune in!
The fun starts this coming Monday on the 3rd lol of the day. Here’s the handy-dandy time chart to figure out when that is in your time zone.
*6am Cheeztime (Hawaii)
*9am West Coast US
*10am Mountain time US
*11am Central US
*NOON East Coast US
*5pm TTI time (UK)
*6pm Rest of Europe time
*7pm Riyadh
*2am Sydney (next day)
*4am Auckland (next day)
Hee! I will eat at my desk so I can follow along. Thanks, LCB.
ICHC, Monday, High Noon.
Got it.
9 am! That’s perfect! Nothing like waking up to a concert.
I’ma hafta freshun up mah lolspeak, tho. Or is it optional? 
Like clothing, lolspeak is always optional.
Watch out for the brown catnip, though.
OooooOOoooo! We’re on the billing!
*marks calendar*
(I always wanted to be on the billing. Thanks Cheesepeeps!)
*refills LCB’s empty glass with another virgin Pina Colada, paper umbrella, and fruit garnish*
Thanks, LCB! I have Swiss Cheese Brain Syndrome (stuff leaks out the holes), so I set a reminder in my computer.
I’ll be there with bells on! And thanks for the time chart. I’ll have to hang onto that.
Bells on, huh? Trying to make a fashion statement?
Just bells?
Is this for all FBers or the core group?. Mmmmm I hope I can come and listen, but to find the place to where it is at?.
It’s at the lolcat site.
Let me put it this way: It’s for all our FB friends. We’re inviting you to come play with us, not against us. I made a clicky with the times and where to click to get to ICHC. *hopes it works*
I am stiff mad about missing the curtain call on the star wars gig. LOL
That’s pretty mad.
YOU! Give Me Back Keymasters Key!
Hi! I’m back! you may remember me from quite a wile ago. mmy sister (tofu mogu) got a different email address!
funny fail!
Welsome back S S awesome. I hope you have been well?
yup! i have been… well… Awesome!
grrr…. i forgot to change the name and email. *pout*
Huh, is it Female drivers mocking week on failblog or what?
Yeesh, you didn’t notice the gang of commentors that are out in force, torching and/or sharpshooting anybody who makes fun of women drivers?
*harrumph* Let’s go, Brewski. Take our skills somewhere where they are appreciated
I think you scared him away!
Hard to believe it was a chick
Wow you have some issues Homer, want to talk about them?
5 Eagles is right, you’re having issues. Poor kid.
*patpatpat*
why does she have to be american?
ffs…319 comments in a few minutes 0.o ? It’s not such a EPIC FAIL….
*Checks watch*
Time everyone. Pass your comments forward.
I’m sorry 314T00 your comment was too late. You will have to retake the course.
*sign, sign, pass, repeat*
I’d like to think that I did well on that one
I think you did. I’d give your comments a +8 to +9 out of a possible 10. Except for… you know… that one
Was it the one about the Penguins? I swear, I was rushed on that one!
It’s okay, you’ll do fine. You made tons of comments, they’ll cancel it out. You’ll probably end up with something like a low-mid B.
Not exactly what I was after. could you, maybe slide it up to an A*?
I’m not the teacher, Marius is. You’ll have to talk to him.
I think he left a while back though
Fine… *sigh*. You pass. With a
♪ low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low ♫
… A-.
P.S. Our discussion about how to pronounce stuff earlier reminded me of this video. Clickie.
Just watch it. It’s awesome. He does, however, mispronounce Oregon, so that ruins a little bit. But not much
P.P.S. Turn up the bass if possible. It sounds so much cooler with the bass thumping
Erm… That makes perfect sense
Did you watch the vid?
Yup, less Dysentry, more Rapping Robots.
It’s a good mantra to live by.
Mmhmm. I just think the tune is catchy though.
*Stoops down to Homer’s level so he can understand*
NO, YOU!
You need to draw a picture for him
I hope he can comprehend stick men…
Nope, it needs bright colours and big letters
Okay!
*Runs off to store for glitter and colored pencils*
Use crayon. It’s easier for them to understand.
Screw it. How can something so dumb be so complicated?
How about you cut it out too so get some scissors and run back.
We could mime it to him to save time
We’ll use signs too.
Ooh! And big arrows held by guys dressed as chickens!
Hooray! This’ll be the best Hannukah ever!
Yay!
Molotov’s for all!
I saved some leftovers from the trolls that we feasted upon.
*eats troll ribs* You got to try this.
Shame it was on purpose, he was stationary when the door went down, more of a parking win.
ah. I see.
THATs what you need an SUV for
Stupid asian
*thwack*
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. *several more thwacks, one for each no*
*drop kick*
I’ve heard of bigotry in trolls before, but at least usually they at least try to conceal it behind some sort of attempt at a witticism. This is worse, and I didn’t know that was possible.
*Holds up ‘Do not feed the Trolls sign to Shadow & Self*
Yes, but I couldn’t let something as blatant as that go without some sort of passing comment.
*Holds up ‘I agree’*
Any one got the Flamethrower?
Here *hands Badger Whisperer a flamethrower* Don’t ask how I got it.
*Flames TT*
Hooray, instant Barbeque!
*gladly asks* When can we eat?
Just as soon as I flame the rest of the Zombie trolls
*pulls out a machine gun* Lets kick some @$$.
Hey now, what the heck did I do?
*pat on back*
Now, now…zombie TROLLS, not troll-eating zombies.
You can help us though..if you want.
What proof is there that she’s Asian?
How can this be proved?
A well funded research group into making 3D video so that we can see her face.
♫And I saw her face…♫
♫…Now I’m a believer♫
*pulls out Katana*
Good enough for me
*Flees Thread*
It would be fun to have zombie trolls clean up the mess.
Impatient Drive Win?
Impatient Dive Fin?
AHHHH!!!!! ZOMBIE TROLLS!!!! *flies through another window*
“can someone save us from the zombie trolls?”
“Please help!”
I think she was hit by the guy behind her pretty hard forcing her through the door. Notice the car is in about the same spot she was at the beginning of the video. If she was angry and did it on purpose I don’t think she would have gotten out so quickly and gone directly to the other guy.
when Terminator goes home….
Duh-dun duh-da-da, Duh-da duh-dun duh-da-da…
(>XX)>Q=(”Q)
SUV 1
Garage door 0
Hey Shadow the Sniper . Suv 1 garage door 0 failblog 401
I love reading the posts that say, “female drivers”, because guys NEVER get into accidents! That’s why they pay higher insurance premiums than women.
Insurance companies believe that men are naturally more aggressive than women, including engaging in risk-taking behaviors such as not wearing seat belts, speeding and driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. In addition, men are believed to drive more miles each year than females drive. Jobs related to driving, such as over-the-road truck drivers, cab drivers and long-distance salespeople, are still male-dominated fields. The more miles one is on the highways and roads, the better statistical chance that driver has for accidents.
that’s why. also females always get into retarded accidents like this.
“….men are naturally more aggressive than women, including engaging in risk-taking behaviors….” Exactly.
“..females always get into retarded accidents like this.” A bit too general.
don’t take the quotes out of context.
Its like deja Vu, but with a car…
Its the car version of that fail from last week, where the guy looks at the closed door, and then runs at it and breaks it! Maybe this lady just thought if she got close to the door really fast it would open all by itself
yes maybe orrrrrrrr not LOL
Its like deja Vu, but with a car…
Its the car version of that fail from last week, where the guy looks at the closed door, and then runs at it and breaks it! Maybe this lady just thought if she got close to the door really fast it would open all by itself
Sorry I haven’t been posting! MICROSOFT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE!!!!!
*gasp*
You should build up your defenses before the microsoft horde comes in!
Oh yeah, and *squeeze*
*squeeze*
I’m not really stressing out about it, I’m just locking myself in my room.
Is the microsoft horde mad that you switched sides to the Apple alliance?
*wonders why he is making references to a video game he doesn’t play*
I have no Mac. But I do have an Ipod!
Then maybe they are looking for an ancient linux artifact you are holding?
How ancient?
Halifax isn’t getting it Alice. Of course M$ is keeping track of where their slaves are, why wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t you want to know where your computers are?
Oh, you didn’t realize that computer in your house isn’t really yours? Sorry, didn’t mean to break your bubble. Do not look up ‘WGA’. You don’t want to know.
OH! MAH! GAWD!
So I was right. There is a conspiracy.
…
Wait…
THATS A BAD THINGY!
Ohhhh….did you ever click on the thing called “My Computer”? Because if you did, it signals that someone other than Bill Gates claims ownership of a miscrosoft computer. Then, the horde closes in….
*microsoft
Then we should ready ourselves for battle *lifts up sword signaling war*.
I like swords...Lemme guess, you play Alliance.
*lifts up sword signaling war*
WRONG!
Vroom, vroom, vroom went the woman
vroom, vroom, vroom through the door… :p
Nobody wants to play with me.
*hops in monster truck*
*Sadly drives away*
*flies through monster truck window*
Right on!
*Plays AC/DC*
Care for a beer? You wouldn’t believe how wonderful is the sound of trolls when this baby runs them over.
Hello?
*jumps from behind the bushes* BOO!
SNIPER! *bang bang*
look its a zombie troll! Run away! *bolts away*
I prefer “unliving cave dweller”, thank you very much.
Hey Rogue…when were you elevated to lordship?
Long time ago. Had to travel to London, but the waiting list was longer than I thought. Thus, the absence.
Not to mention that since I’m American, there was a lot of red tape to get through. And white tape. And a blue handkerchief with little white stars.
I ripped a flag.
*evening/night squeeze*
Ok, so the reason I was not here earlier than now is my mothers purse was stolen today. So any time I could have been online was spent talking to building management getting her electronic key fob deactivated, and alerting the doormen to strangers attempting to get in the building. My stepfather called all the credit card companies and the bank to deactivate all her cards. My mother on her way home had the cell phone cut off.
I had to go to her apartment to make sure no one attempted to get in (before the keys were taken care of). Then it was errands with her while she replaced some of the now missing stuff.
Never EVER put your purse on the back of your chair!!!!
Was her garage door opener code changed, too?
*squeeze*
Our building doesn’t have an automatic opener like that, it’s more of a pressure sensitive switch.
*squeeze*
But the creepy part is they have her ID, address and her KEYS!!! If the doorman isn’t paying attention, the creep could just walk right in.
The good old “chair wedged under the doorknob while at home” is still a usable idea.
I don’t think the chair would stay wedged on the tiled entryway. But not a bad idea. I kinda wanted to tell them to move the couch against the door. But neither of them would have gone for that.
How about this: set up an alarm. Place things that will make a loud noise when crashing to the floor (ie. stockpots, sauce pans etc.) on something that will fall when the door is opened. Folks in their room, with door chaired, will have time to call 911. Slapdash, but may work.
I would do that in my place, but they have cats. Nosy, clumsy cats.
Mom said she doesn’t/didn’t have a top lock (deadbolt) key on her ring, so she locked that lock after I left. But it’s a big building and not everyone locks their doors.
So long as you don’t make the mistake the the Dude made, and have a door that opens out.
So sorry to hear that Avis. Dealing with all the IDs, cards, keys, etc. is such a huge hassle!
Did they snatch it right off of her chair?
They sure did. I have told her for YEARS to not do that with her purse. She told me today that she finally gets why.
That sucks. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone that bold since I lived in the NYC area.
Anyway, I think you’re a good daughter for helping them with the many details that are involved.
Chicago, Michigan Ave. Right in the heart of tourist country. It happens ALL THE TIME here. The cards are taken care of, her ID will have to wait ’til tomorrow, as will getting a new phone. The funny thing is she had to buy a new brush (her only one was in the purse) and as soon as we walked out of the store she used it… you could see her start to feel better. That simple act, that she couldn’t do ’til then, calmed her down and gave her comfort.
It’s the little things.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Indeed it is.
It’s funny how sometimes the little things make such a difference. I’m sure she was happy to have anything that would start the process of getting her life back to normal.
I think that’s how she felt too.
Well, folks, I know I wasn’t here long, but I’m beat! I’m gonna go sleep for as long as I can.
And I’M gonna lock MY top lock too!
Here’s an old, old joke. Take it as you will.
A man had finally had it with the last of his thinning hair and shaved it off. Realizing that this actually simplified his life he started to chuck out things he no longer needed. Out went the shampoos, the combs, the hair “restorers”.
The next morning he saw a comb on the bathroom counter. Must have overlooked it he thought. Into the bin it went.
That evening, as he was getting ready for bed, he saw the comb on the counter again. Somewhat unnerved he carefully placed it in the trash.
In the morning he cautiously peeked into the bathroom and there it was.
In a panic he grabbed it a drove to the seaside, hopped in a boat and went far from shore. After tying a large weight to the comb he flung it as hard as he could. It splashed and sank to the bottom.
He got home, exhausted and feeling a bit insane, he stumbles off to bed. On his way he passes the bathroom. There is the comb, dripping with seawater.
Hysterically he grabs the comb and yells at it, “WHY WON’T YOU STAY AWAY? I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE. I HAVE NO HAIR.”
“Exactly”, said the comb, “you’ll never part with me again.”
*toothy grin*
I recommend getting a button cam for your front door entrance, just to be safe.
There are multiple cameras outside the building, plus the one in the lobby and one in each of the elevators. That part is covered. While that won’t stop anyone, it will give the cops someone to go arrest.
FAILS!
I give it 2 Drunken people crossing signs up.
Which was your fave?
*janitor union* Well we got to get important intell on the zombie trolls.
Zombie trolls? WHERE?
There not here right now.
Did ya miss me?
Yes.
EEEEEE!
* I is has a happy*
*SQUEEZE*
*squeezeback*
I know it’s been long, but I had to go AFK for a few days.
I did too!
T3h M1CR0S0F7 KN0W5 WH3R3 1 L1V3.
I don’t need to think about that right now.
PRAY.
Alice started praying.
Alice’s prayer was absorbed by the darkness…
Ah, I take it you’re using Vista?
HOW DID YOU KNOW
Right. This may very well be my last post for a while. I’m leaving work now, and will be shifting house over the weekend, and then starting a new job on Monday (well, same job, but different location). So to all my mates here, *squeeze*.
I’ll be back.
I’ll miss you, Mini-me.
*supermegagoodbyesqueeze*
I look forward to your return. Good luck with all of the shifting of your life.
It WOULD be a woman getting out of the car wouldn’t it.
*hands Joe a number*
We’re a bit backed up today. You’ll get your free “toaster” at a later date.
There was a fifty/fifty shot after all.
Meh… what if a dog was driving?
Well I’ll be a s.o.b.! I hadn’t thought of that.
…or a bear using hand signals.
Actually, a small percentage of the population is genetically and/or morphologically gender ambiguous.
Picky picky.
Hold still, you have nits. Nurse? Nurse? This man needs a sponge bath.
Are you trying to bug me?
Play lice or don’t play at all.
This thread is starting to make me itch. I know, I know. You are going to tell me that it is all in my head.
Don’t be pediculus.
Please, stop fighting! You’re giving me a nervous tick.
We weren’t fighting…just having a lousy conversation.
I choose to be RIDiculus.
Perhaps I am just a nit wit tonight.
Was he trying to make a breakthrough?
As soon as I saw it was a driving fail I assumed it was a woman. That assumption has never been proved wrong.
BMW driver, of course.
Driver was looking for a platform 9 3/4
Women. :p How I love ‘em.
Was that a woman driving the car? Nah, it couldn’t be…
OF COURSE! I knew it was a mother all mother drivers suck!!!!!!!!!!!
They’re to busy looking at there fat babies :O
Is that a woman driver?
I think it’s possible she was hit from behind by another car that zips into frame right before the door blocks the view. This would also explain why the car gets thrown up onto the curb before going through the door, even though its wheels are pointed in the direction of the door just before the door comes down.
Replay the video and check it out.
Massive idiot, coming through!
Well, Its a woman driver, They are the bad ones
Garage door WIN! That lady musta been applying lipstick or texting…
“This is On-Star it appears you have just been in a fail?”
I meant to comment on this a couple of days ago. I love this comment!
[But you really should save it for a caption--now get going: find the perfect pic to go with it.]
Had to be a woman, I’m thinking. (and it was)
Women and the mechanical universe are such a fatal combo.
Shoulda gone to specsavers..
It’s a woman driver…no surprise here.
only a woman can do it , and a bmw x3 can do it
That’s such a win! XD
O hai, I fixed your garage door.
Car > Garage door
he has the temper of a 2 year old girl.