♫ She turns on the PC and guess who she sees.
Sk8er boi sucking up on FB.
She calls up her friends.
They already laugh
And they’ve all posted here to mock his gaffe. ♫
♫ He was a sk8er boi
They said, “You’re a failer, boi.”
He wasn’t the smartest kid, you see.
Now he’s getting skin grafts, while we all sit here and laugh
at him, just to show him what he’s worth… ♪
BREWSKI- Off Topic, I noticed on the previous fail comments that you were seeing Cirque Du Soleil this past weekend. They were in my area too (New England) may I be so bold as to ask what area you live in?
gaaaahhhh, I shall have to come up with a new onomatopoeia which you can’t reverse without typos and thereby be un able to reverse my doings… mwahahahahahaa
Nah, I’m in San Francisco, soon to be in DC and Jersey, and I worked on Alegria and Quidam in Philadelphia. Goddamn I hated Bridgeport. I was terrified to go outside. It was only ten days, but ugh.
Wow…funny what you get used to I suppose. Maybe because I have been familiar with the area and have seen it at it’s worst (yes it was WORSE) it doesn’t frighten me. But I guess looking at it with new eyes it is pretty danged intimidating. I think I just know where to be and not to be!
Hey, drinking on the patio at Captain’s Cove used to be a regular Friday night for me after work when I worked in Westport. I assume it’s still there, and that the neighborhood to get to it is still a bit “tough”.
Hi…Yes I saw it in Bridgeport. The area where the arena is is not *that* bad. And while I agree B-port is NOT a place you brag about there are still some nice areas tucked in and around.
I live in Stratford. I go to the casinos mostly for the shows/concerts etc. Hubby and I frequently do weekends in Mystic etc.
Next time you go to the newer of the 2, come through the Winter entrance. As you go down the escalator, wave to the people in the restaurant on your left.
There are others, but they tend to pop up with geographical info on rare occasions. One time a few months back, I almost flipped out when someone mentioned Granville Cheddar, which I know is sold in a few stores and restaurants but is made in a tiny shop less than 10 miles from my house.
You must be an Oregon native.
True-cheese story… my g/f and I were touring the Tillamook factory on a weekend. They only had very limited production going, most the floor was dormant. We could view the entire production floor from a high glass overlook. We finally found a line that was active, with a guy packaging up wheels of cheese. My g/f gets all excited, points at the worker, and yells, “LOOK!!! CHEESE!!!”
Well, the worker sees her do it, and he starts cracking up. She was sooo embarrassed.
OK, ya had to be there.
I was in a Kinko’s working on a presentation for my interviewing portfolio. I had a DVD case lable sticker specialy, custom made. I was trying to lift it from the backing with an exacto blade. I’d taken it out of the knife to i could have more control over it. Well, I slipped and scratched the ink off part of the sticker. I got mad as hell and threw the blade down. At the exact same time I smashed the table with my hand, palm open. the blade bounced back up instad of falling flat, and there I was with an inch and a half long blade sticking through the bottom of my middle finger in my right hand. In one side out the other….*shudders*. I had my friend pull it out and we went to the E.R. The doctor examined it an laughed with relief. he said i was damn close to the tendon and if I had cut it i might have lost movement in the finger..forever. It was quite the night. I didn’t get out of the E.R. ’till around 3:00am. they couldn’t give me stitches as it was technicly a puncture. I had to wear this huge gauze bandage that wen all the way down and tied onto my wrist. I had to change it daily and never get it wet. But, thank god, I still have my finger!
ROFL, but I did get it wet accidently and it almost did turn into a gremlin. on topic, but… oh, IDK, i don’t have a segway, but I do have 2 stuffed Magwais!
Too simple a video production to have a key grip, I suppose; not sure if he’s the best boy for the jump, either.
(Hey DW, I used a semicolon. Can your newbies do that?)
Didn’t you start posting before or around when I started? ‘Bout a year ago? Or you can take that as a dirty comment if you like, I’ve temporarily forgotten how old you are anyway
Hey Brewski, Have You Heard The News? Our Friend , Qwaz, Has Left The Fail Building And He Won’t Be Coming Back for a long Time Also He Has Left A Letter On audi Fail Or SomeThing Like That You Know What I’ll Be Right Back I’ll Check What The Name Is.
We’re trying to figure if we should make lime-mint sorbet and pour rum over it, or put the rum in the ice cream ball along with the rest of the stuff. We may end up with mojito slushies.
*Bangs Beer Cans On Each Side Of The Miller Light Symblol. The Way “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (Wrestler) Opens It. Drinks Two Of Them At The Same Time.* OH YEAHHHH!;)
I’m actually a really fun prof. I make them work really, really hard, but we do fun things. Plus I’m just as goofy in the classroom as I am here, so the students tend to enjoy it.
Well…some of them. Some of them just hate me because I make them work hard.
I’ve had teachers that were fun like that before. I learned more in their classes, and therefore got better grades. There should be more teachers like you.
I was flipping through the old fails, and I saw Loz had made a comment on Privacy Fail. That reminded me that I haven’t seen her since I’ve returned to FB except for this one time.
She stops by now and then, but she’s busy. She graduated, and she was moving, but every now and then she’ll pop in. It’s always great to see her when she does!
Avis, IF I ever win the lottery, I swear I’m buying you a “Top-O’-The-Line” Screaming Bullet-proof Super Computer, (well right after I sober up after the initial celebration party).
My oldest daughter told me she was going to see Inglorious Basterds yesterday – I thought she was referring to her in-laws…she was not amused….must pay more attention to upcoming movies.
Not that one! I tried to post an earlier one, but it vanished. Basically it said the same thing as the 10:06 one, minus the possessed part, so no filter catching words.
That reminds me of my uni days.
Everyone was too cheap to buy tea or coffee, we just bought mugs of hot water, and used our own. The tea drinkers invariably twirled their wet teabags and let go, where they would stick to the ceiling.
Did I say this was the engineering caf?
Anyway, just brought my hot water to the table, and was fishing in my bag for the coffee jar, and SPLOSH! – I had a cup of tea.
Well… I guess I would say that the guys on FailBlog are sexy too… but that statement has a lot that can be inferred from it coming from me. So I think I’ll leave this one to the girls
Ahh, I always thought it was once per day.
Hey Brewski, something you missed while you were dormant, and I don’t know if it was discussed here: Check out the less-traveled sites in the family (eg, Engrish), and see what’s been added to the comments. I don’t think I’m gonna like that if it gets here – obstructs the conversational flow.
My hope is it’s to stimulate conversation on the less active threads. As I said above, I think it would be a nuisance here. Shall we email the decision makers?
It would certainly get in the way of conversations here! Yeah, I think e-mails are in order.
*sighs*
It would be nice if just one of the family computers was up to that task! We REALLY need the Geek Squad to fix things!
Avis please, please, please don’t say you need the Freak Squad! I promise I will give you a cookie!
Before I officially became an IT consultant I used to go into Best Buy and screw with them by asking impossible questions.
OH HAI, IZ VINCE WIF SHAMWOW.
ULL BE SAYIN WOW
EVRY TIEM U USE DIS TOWEL.
IZ LIEK CHAMOIS! IZ LIEK TOWEL!
IZ LIEK SPONGE.
A REGULAR TOWEL DOESNT WERK WET – DIS WERKZ WET OR DRY.
DIS AR TEH 4 DA HOUZ, TEH CAR, TEH BOAT, TEH RV!
SHAMWOW HOLDZ TWENTY TIEMS ITZ WEIGHT IN LIQUID. LOOK AT DIS!
IT JUS DOEZ TEH WERK!
Y DO U WANTS 2 WERK TWICE AS HARD?
DOESNT DRIP, DOESNT MAK MES.
WRIN IT OUT, U WASH IT IN DA WASHIN MACHINE.
MADE IN GERMANY, U KNOE TEH GERMANZ ALWAYS MAK GUD STUFF.
U CAN CUT IT IN HALF, USE WAN AS BAF MAT, DRAIN UR DISHEZ WIF TEH OTHR WAN.
USE WAN AS TOWEL.
OLYMPIC DIVERS, THEY USE IT AS TOWEL.
LOOK AT DAT! COMPLETELY DRY!
PUT WET SWEATR, ROLL IT UP, IT DRIEZ UR SWEATERS. HEERS SUM COLA, WINE, COFFEH COLA PET STAINS. NOT ONLY IZ TEH DAMAGE GONNA BE ON TOP – THARS UR MILDEW. DAT IZ GOIN 2 SMELL! [ C DAT? ]
TEH MOST ABSORBIN WERE GONNA DO DIS IN REAL TIEM! LOOK AT DIS! PUT IT ON TEH SPILL, TURN IT OVAR! WITHOUT EVEN PUTTIN PRESURE, FIFTY PERSENT OV TEH COLA RITE THAR.
U FOLLOWIN ME, CAMERA GUI?
TEH OTHR FIFTY PERSENT, TEH COLOR STARTS 2 COME UP. NO OTHR TOWELS GONNA DO DAT!
IT ACTS LIEK VACUUM!
AN LOOK AT DIS – VIRTUALLY DRY ON TEH BOTTOM!
C WUT IM TELLIN YA?
We Have A ANOTHER Brand Spanking New Troll Here! And Its Name Is Haiit’skitteh! Order Now Call 1800- Get-Rid-Of-Him-Rightnow, to get Him! *Limited Time Only*
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the skateboard tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
laughs at me in the end
lottofee, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I could read it, but I’m wondering when you’ll show us yours – or is this one of those things you want to be mandatory but won’t do yourself until everyone else has to?
@ blue2th
wow.
i still don’t know why you are reacting this way blue2thfairy.
i really don’t know if i said something wrong, and you have a reason to bash me, or if this is supposed to be a joke. seriously i don’t understand it.
@ the others
thank you dilettante, i was just about getting pissed, but your comment helped a lot.
thank you dragon for adding, that english isn’t my first language and it’s possible i made a mistake here by not knowing it better
thank you admiral for your nice words
and thank you shadow, yes i’m a female, but why do you know?
i know i could have replied to every person each, but i don’t want this discussion to explode… if i did something wrong, please tell me so and don’t bash me for a reason i’m not getting
*sigh* One movie reference, check.
Misinterpreted as having relevance to sex due to listing movie title in post, check.
Lame joke that falls flat, check.
Looks like I’m up to my usual tricks after my sabbatical!
if you’re offering, why not? I prefer vicious electrical storms and tornadoes, honestly…. driving wind and hail, green skys, flash-flooding, power outages. gets me all tingly
Too bad neither of us gets much of that type of weather where we live. Now, if you want the posting equivalent of the violent weather, just look down there vvvvv.
What really makes me happy is the “raise their esteem” part. Watching the poor kid in the video get walloped in the face makes this kid feel better about himself. Now what does that tell us?
Hey now, what problem do you have with my zombie smiley face now? Maybe I don’t like your snowflake looking brown mug either, but I wouldn’t insult you in front of everyone about it.
If you don’t like the way things are done here, then go start your own failsite. And at your own failsite, you can tell everybody to post their comments in a completely emotionless, badass manner, where each comment is filled to the brim with masculinity and efficiency, and totally devoid of creative thought.
But we’ve posting here since before you even managed to finally figure out how to spell your own name, so let us run things the way we run them.
And please, I agree, do take a picture of yourself failing. We could always use another laugh.
[english accent]
Once upon a fail-night dreary, while I commented weak and weary,
Over many a sad and laughable troller whining on the floor,
While I sat there, nearly laughing suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my bedroom door.
`’Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, `tapping at my bedroom door -
Another troll, and nothing more.’
Ah, distinctly I remember it was soon to be September ,
And each separate sad schoolchild threw a fit upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; – vainly I had sought to borrow
From my fails surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the bore, TheLars-
For the ignorant 12 year old troll whom the angels named TheLars -
Ignored here for evermore.
The blog’s going to look really weird when all your posts are erased. It’ll be like I was chatting away to myself. *Is still laughing at the poor troll’s expense*
There was a time when i would send the zombie hoard after a troll like that, but two things happened. First came the petition, shortly after that the hoard started getting mad at me for only feeding them troll brains.
Troll brains consist of excrement, so they taste bad even to zombies.
Dern my worthless job! It looks like I missed a whole lot of fun this afternoon. And, yes, you all look like a bunch of idiots now that the troll’s posts are gone. Just sorry I missed them!
Sadly, this is by no means the first, nor the second, or even the third or fourth time I’ve seen skateboards get revenge on their idiot psychopath riders. But every time I DO see it, it just gets funnier.
Frustarded
A skateboard’s not just made of trucks, it’s a series of pains.
First reply to the first reply of the first comment.
Lets see you try and figure that out
mwahahah.
Wow, your convoluted riddle’s just too tricky! Like that ollie he messed up.
Hehe I know half a person who has actually done an ollie.
*wonders what that is like*
*only half wonders*
*the other half wanders*
*wonders where the other half wanders*
*wonders when wanders will ever cease*
2012.
PWNAGE
There should be a list of all the organizations that have incorrectly predicted the end of the world. Like a name and shame kind of thing.
lol ownt
Well, most of all… The Christian religion wins the prize for over 10 wrongful predictions
Marcel Wanders? I hope never!
In Soviet Russia, droogs are your friend.
Only really sexy men love a design nerd, baby
you my favorite designer, lapin
i want your designs all over my lapel
Wanda wanders the Web wondering what wheat Wondra flour is made of.
I thought she wandered the web wondering where her wonder bra went.
Wondra Woman’s gotten a bit doughy with age, hasn’t she?
Wunderbar wanderlust?
Wunder wird niemals aufhören?
It would take a miracle.
*admires your storming the castle und drang*
*to the max*
mirabile dictu
*in flagrante delicto con dilettanza*
*osculates wildly*
I Wonder What Wanda Is Wondering About What Wheat Is?
Silly boy, he’s only a midget.
he must be frustrated. i wonder if he died.
Half an ollie, philosophicallie, must ipso facto half not ollie.
Post ollie ergo propter ollie.
Ollie biz as ollie scuz.
its a fukin kickflip fools
I’m pretty sure that was a kickflip, not an ollie…
But who cares, it’s a fail either way.
Hee! Probably right, I had to stop dating boys who made me watch Big Brother videos.
“Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into.”
Sifl-is?
no, I used a sock
… though I could hard’y stan’ it
Well, don’t rest on your laurels.
I’ll be dilly’s gent, and rest my lapel on her lapin.
^
^ (-.~) ^
Silly rabbit, skateboard tricks are for…um. Hm. I don’t know!
bucklings ; )
Big Brother doesn’t even have a sister… >.> why should girls watch it? Anybody who doesn’t have a sister is even too lame for us guys.
An ollie folly
Sounds like a folly artist.
thats not an ollie
Is it a Kukla, Fran?
I think it’s free oxen.
*Laurels*
*Ollie branches*
A new twist on Ollie asking for it.
Ollie gets a crack-in-the-head.
he tried a kickflip dumbshit
It was a kickflip, not an ollie. duh. Or maybe a heelflip. Shows what i know.
FALE
see this is one of the many things that was mistaken…this was an EPIC FAIL not a fail…in someways its a win…for the skateboard
Ooooo… perspective win.
Skateboarder fail or Skateboard Win?
DOUBLE FAIL I suggest…
It makes me wanna get a skateboard all of a sudden…
hahahahaha ur a genius new word WIN
HAHA, double fail! What a reaction though, *hits his head* arghhhh!
hot damned
That’s gunna leave a mark!
Where?
on his self esteem
Yea you are bitch, you sure are a n3rd just like me.
What a move.
Pardon?
When trolls get mad…
…skateboards get even?
In soviet Russia, skateboard…
No, I just can’t do it.
*snork*
That’s probably a good thing.
YOU RACIST FIEND! Oops – sorry, I thought you actually said something of importance
Instant Karma
what goes around … smacks you in the head
♫ It comes and goes…♪
♫ She turns on the PC and guess who she sees.
Sk8er boi sucking up on FB.
She calls up her friends.
They already laugh
And they’ve all posted here to mock his gaffe. ♫
This is totally my jam.
*rocks out*
♫ He was a sk8er boi
They said, “You’re a failer, boi.”
He wasn’t the smartest kid, you see.
Now he’s getting skin grafts, while we all sit here and laugh
at him, just to show him what he’s worth… ♪
You can’t skate around the laws of nature.
You can try, but you’ll just end up grinding your teeth in frustration and flipping out.
A bored boardhead aboard that board.
gets a board to the head?
?head the to board a gets
♫ Board to the head! Yah, yah…
I’m Bored With This Sk8Board.
You mean THOSE laws of nature? Not the other ones? I’m pretty sure you can skate around the other ones, but only on weekdays…
Exept When A Tree Is Turned Into Wood And Then The Wood Is Made Into A Sk8Board Ramp. Then You Can Do It.
Love is touch
Touch is love
*faceboard*
Hit the deck!
Anger management classes anyone?
at the school of hard knocks.
I think the skateboard was the teacher here…
*phfwahhhbam* oh, I’ve hurt myself in fits of frustration too…… *looks at scar, thankful that finger is still there.*
The E.T. Finger? You should remove it and let it dry out once in a while.
:yuck:
ummmm…
ewe
*eeewwee
Too late, it’s taken over the rest of the body!
WTF??
You know what I’m Saying…
ROFL!!! wait, no, no, you can’t say things like that, bad, Badger, bad. ROFL!!
*rolls on floor laughing*
gross, don’t laugh at that! yuck
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. *squeeze*
*squeeze Brewski*
BREWSKI- Off Topic, I noticed on the previous fail comments that you were seeing Cirque Du Soleil this past weekend. They were in my area too (New England) may I be so bold as to ask what area you live in?
Brewski travels with them. He sees the show constantly.
So that’s who the Elephant was eating…
ahhhh, ok, that explains a lot
*zoink* steals comment from Badger….this is for MRN…
*gasp* Stop that Zoinker!
*zoink* *zoink* *zoink* I got your walet, watch and keys! *zoink* and your car………
*knioz* *knioz* *knioz* *knioz*
*gives them all back*
AAAHHH! it’s reversal, back from the dead!!
Indeed – and my compliments upon your name, oh BW!!
Why thank you mysterious stranger
gaaaahhhh, I shall have to come up with a new onomatopoeia which you can’t reverse without typos and thereby be un able to reverse my doings… mwahahahahahaa
*nesting fail* ahhhh, ok, that explains a lot.
Travels with?!?! Why…how…what does he…OH SO MANY QUESTIONS NOW!?!?! I just saw Alegria in CT, it was fab.
In Bridgeport? You’re probably closer to me than Brewski. Ever go to the casinos?
I used to work for Cirque in the summers. And dear god, I just did Shakespeare in Bridgeport. Tough town, I should have checked out the casinos?
They’re about 40 miles from Bridgeport, actually. I’m assuming JazzyGirl lives in CT, but not necessarily Bridgeport.
Tough town? An understatement. Sorry to anyone who actually lives in Bridgeport, but I think it’s best seen in the rear view mirror.
*sigh* There are far too many of those type of towns
So you were in Guilford, too? Wish I’d known, I would have made the trip. Still around the area?
Nah, I’m in San Francisco, soon to be in DC and Jersey, and I worked on Alegria and Quidam in Philadelphia. Goddamn I hated Bridgeport. I was terrified to go outside. It was only ten days, but ugh.
♫ One night in Bridgeport and the tough gals tremble.
Can’t be too careful with your company. ♫
Well, you can obviously, but I see your point
Hee hee, years ago one of the local radio stations had a version that started, “♫ One night in Hartford with a claims adjuster… ♫ “
Wow…funny what you get used to I suppose. Maybe because I have been familiar with the area and have seen it at it’s worst (yes it was WORSE) it doesn’t frighten me. But I guess looking at it with new eyes it is pretty danged intimidating. I think I just know where to be and not to be!
Hey, drinking on the patio at Captain’s Cove used to be a regular Friday night for me after work when I worked in Westport. I assume it’s still there, and that the neighborhood to get to it is still a bit “tough”.
Hi…Yes I saw it in Bridgeport. The area where the arena is is not *that* bad. And while I agree B-port is NOT a place you brag about there are still some nice areas tucked in and around.
I live in Stratford. I go to the casinos mostly for the shows/concerts etc. Hubby and I frequently do weekends in Mystic etc.
Next time you go to the newer of the 2, come through the Winter entrance. As you go down the escalator, wave to the people in the restaurant on your left.
uh MRN…I worked in Westport too, on Saugatuck Ave. I have been to “the cove” many times over the years, but not recently. Yes it’s till a rough area.
Jazzy – I am going to see them next weekend. In Boston. MRN is southwest of me. We’re the New England contingent of the Failblog guard!
There are others, but they tend to pop up with geographical info on rare occasions. One time a few months back, I almost flipped out when someone mentioned Granville Cheddar, which I know is sold in a few stores and restaurants but is made in a tiny shop less than 10 miles from my house.
I see that pretty regularly. There are a lot of small dairy farms around New England. My fave is Jasper Hill. Their cheese is to die for.
*eats amazing cheese*
*dies*
Well…THANKS for that! Hmph!
*buries DW on Jasper Hill, hopes it was just a clone*
Psh… Tillamook Cheese is better.
*feels bleu*
*gets gouda idea*
*puts parmesan Dragon’s chest, does CPR*
*sees her revive*
Curd you not do that again?
You must be an Oregon native.
True-cheese story… my g/f and I were touring the Tillamook factory on a weekend. They only had very limited production going, most the floor was dormant. We could view the entire production floor from a high glass overlook. We finally found a line that was active, with a guy packaging up wheels of cheese. My g/f gets all excited, points at the worker, and yells, “LOOK!!! CHEESE!!!”
Well, the worker sees her do it, and he starts cracking up. She was sooo embarrassed.
OK, ya had to be there.
I am an Oregon native.
Born and raised in the Willamette Valley, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And I can totally see that scenario happening.
My brother lives in Portland. NW Oregon is a beautiful place.
Mmhmm.
/ego
Glad to know you both. And yes, I am an occassional lurker. Just happened to catch your comment about the show. Enjoy!
*squeezes AA*
Apologies for squashing that cheese punrun, Admiral. It died whey before its time.
We’ll get another gouda one going again.
No problem, Brewski.
*Cheshire grin*
You guys are sharp enough to come up with anything!
We’re a rare brie-d!
A mixte-ure of the best FB has to offer, to be sure.
We could start a cottage industry of pun-making.
I think we’re the cream of the crop!
So where do we kashta in on all of these puns?
A Swiss bank?
Well sure, we could just chevre it all in the bank, but that’s no fun!
*fly-by-punning while running out the door*
Brewski, I am laughing so hard at that cheese story…. That’s me all the way!
*facepalm*
It’s a feta-ccompi!
*ZING!*
There go my socks! Now I lactose coverings.
Look! We Got A Brand Spanking New Troll!
Troll…not. Maybe Stalker would be a more appropriate definition.
Eeep! Run!
Another lurker out of the woodwork! They really do exist!
Of course we exist, silly! Otherwise how would I be here!
*smooch!*
But happily, you’re no longer a lurker!
*smooch*
True. Maybe I should change my name. Any suggestions?
A fertile mind?
(A play on your job, if I remember correctly.)
BTW, I really did almost lose a finger in a fit of rage…..
Sorry to cut your original story short – no pun intended. Details? Or is it TMI?
I was in a Kinko’s working on a presentation for my interviewing portfolio. I had a DVD case lable sticker specialy, custom made. I was trying to lift it from the backing with an exacto blade. I’d taken it out of the knife to i could have more control over it. Well, I slipped and scratched the ink off part of the sticker. I got mad as hell and threw the blade down. At the exact same time I smashed the table with my hand, palm open. the blade bounced back up instad of falling flat, and there I was with an inch and a half long blade sticking through the bottom of my middle finger in my right hand. In one side out the other….*shudders*. I had my friend pull it out and we went to the E.R. The doctor examined it an laughed with relief. he said i was damn close to the tendon and if I had cut it i might have lost movement in the finger..forever. It was quite the night. I didn’t get out of the E.R. ’till around 3:00am. they couldn’t give me stitches as it was technicly a puncture. I had to wear this huge gauze bandage that wen all the way down and tied onto my wrist. I had to change it daily and never get it wet. But, thank god, I still have my finger!
punctard!
You didn’t feed it after midnight, did you?!?
Bye-bye Dilly.
Bye? Are gremlins coming to get you? Or…ME?
ROFL, but I did get it wet accidently and it almost did turn into a gremlin. on topic, but… oh, IDK, i don’t have a segway, but I do have 2 stuffed Magwais!
OK, excuse me while I faint.
*thud*
*high-fives Abstract*
Need any help hiding those?
Step 1: Throw blade down
Step 2: Slam hand down
Step 3: Safety
alas, safety is always third, but if it were first this may neve have happened…..
But safety ALWAYS comes first. Look what happens when some of us play with razorblades.
…or not.
Nope, safety’s third!
p.s abstract Go On Toy Fail Or Go And Use The Catogory Of Fails And Click On Toys It Will Show The E.T Finger.
i’ve seen it. I was just acting grossed out at the suggestion. thanks
Temper, temper!
Maybe this will teach him to be more calm…
But probably not.
Does this remind anyone else of Daffy Duck’s Robin Hood bit, or is it just me?
Oh knock it off. How jolly can you get?
“Yoiks, and away!!”
“Never mind joining me – I’ll join you. Shake hands with Friar Duck.”
Confetti, etc, for WN!
Woo hoo WN!
*bubbles from bubble machine*
*releases big net of balloons from ceiling*
Yipee!
*fires up fog machine, begins laser light show*
*Fires Wildly into air*
Tequilas for all!
The power of WN compels us!
*wheels in confetti cannon*
*forgets to check it first*
*fires it across room*
Congrats WN!
*Drinks Two Beer Cans At The Same Time* HELL YEAH!
A little Cabo Wabo perchance??
*pours out shots and gets the limes*
*tosses Skrat the bottle*
Off camera he cries quietly to himself.
He’s clearly unacquainted with the concept of grip tape.
And he definitely needs to get a grip.
But then he wouldn’t have anything to grip(e) about.
Too simple a video production to have a key grip, I suppose; not sure if he’s the best boy for the jump, either.
(Hey DW, I used a semicolon. Can your newbies do that?)
Of course we can; it’s not like it’s that difficult…
You’re no newbie, Shadow.
Yeah? And just what’s that supposed to mean, exactly?
Didn’t you start posting before or around when I started? ‘Bout a year ago? Or you can take that as a dirty comment if you like, I’ve temporarily forgotten how old you are anyway
Yes, I did start posting around the same time as you…
And I take it as both.
I take it as umbrage.
I take it as spaghetti.
With some good salsa thrown in to taste.
Aw, don’t be bristly, little buckling! You’ll make me faint.
It was just a little kidding, you little ninny* goat …
– with slings and arrows of umbrageous punning –
“umbrage” means both “offense” and “shadows”.
~~~~
*ninny, btw, probably comes from the word “innocent,” you feintly innocent and delicate delectable.
Hey Brewski, Have You Heard The News? Our Friend , Qwaz, Has Left The Fail Building And He Won’t Be Coming Back for a long Time Also He Has Left A Letter On audi Fail Or SomeThing Like That You Know What I’ll Be Right Back I’ll Check What The Name Is.
It’s like reading headlines in the NY Times…
Found out! Its On Privacy fail, all the way down to the bottom.
YAY WN!!!! *breaks out the Cabo Wabo*
*brings limes*
Whahoo WN!!!!!
*starts throwing back shots*
Fine! If no one else is going to join us, I guess I’ll have to down this whole bottle of Cabo Wabo myself!
*will be making mojito sorbet tonight*
At my mother’s request.
I’ll save some room! But meanwhile…
*tosses back a shot of takillya*
Hey, share the love, guys.
*passes bottle to Shadow*
Cheers, mate.
We’re trying to figure if we should make lime-mint sorbet and pour rum over it, or put the rum in the ice cream ball along with the rest of the stuff. We may end up with mojito slushies.
Don’t you have to be very precise when adding alcohol to ice cream? Not that we’re voting on it (yet!), but I’d go for rum sauce over the top.
That is why I think we may end up with slushies. Either way, it should be tasty!
Mmmm! sloe gin slush.
*Makes note for tonight*
I’ll be back later tonight with the mojito sorbet/slushies.
Now I must get ready to go see Julie & Julia!
Toodles!
*squeeze* Have fun!
Your in-laws are named Julie & Julia?
*Bangs Beer Cans On Each Side Of The Miller Light Symblol. The Way “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (Wrestler) Opens It. Drinks Two Of Them At The Same Time.* OH YEAHHHH!;)
HAY!!!!! MRS B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You gotta bottle o’ Cabo Wabo?!?!?!?!?!
*squeeze!*
I saved this one for you!
Thanks Ms B and Brewski – I just saw the reason for breaking out the bottle, to
*adds ‘o’*
Thank goodness! Now I can drink all this champagne myself.
*pops cork*
*guzzles*
*looks around for an upside-down Admiral*
So didja have fun today, Dragon?
I did, thanks! I’m very tired, but all in all it was a good day.
…We’ll just see how many students are still registered at the end of the week! *evil grin*
*would be terrified to be in your class*
But only because all my papers would come back dripping in red ink. Otherwise I think it would be fun!
I’m actually a really fun prof. I make them work really, really hard, but we do fun things. Plus I’m just as goofy in the classroom as I am here, so the students tend to enjoy it.
Well…some of them. Some of them just hate me because I make them work hard.
Terrified of a professor that cares and challenges you to do better? Those are the teachers you remember fondly.
I’ve had teachers that were fun like that before. I learned more in their classes, and therefore got better grades. There should be more teachers like you.
*squeeze*
Thanks. I appreciate that.
I wouldn’t want her to have to grade my writing.
I still make lots of grammatical errors.
*GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, glug, glug, glug*
*headstands*
¡ɯɐ ı ǝɹǝɥ
¡ǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝǝɥʍ
So… *ahem*… as long as you’re not busy…
I was flipping through the old fails, and I saw Loz had made a comment on Privacy Fail. That reminded me that I haven’t seen her since I’ve returned to FB except for this one time.
What’s the deal with Loz? Is she gone forever?
She stops by now and then, but she’s busy. She graduated, and she was moving, but every now and then she’ll pop in. It’s always great to see her when she does!
˙ʎsnq ʇǝƃ puɐ ǝɹǝɥ ɹǝʌo ʞɔɐq ǝɯoɔ ʍou
You know I’m in!
Wow – I thought that would have brought WN out of the woodwork for sure.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say…
Welcome back, Judy.
*squeezers*
Yay! Judy’s back!
*squeezie*
*SQUEEZES* all around
Alas, Judy, it’s not that I’m in the woodwork, I’m just in the work.
Blech.
Congrats WN!! About time!
*SQUEEZES ALL*
I’ve never seen anyone land one of those in real life, yet every preteen boarder feels they must try it constantly.
Hey, at least they’re practicing something.
Now if they could practice a useful skill, or maybe respect…
Probably not the kind of “wheelie” he was trying for.
Hmmmm…. what happened to my comment?
::burrrp!::
Sorry, Avis, I thought it was a cookie, try again.
I swear this computer is possessed.
That kid needs some anger management classes.
Avis, IF I ever win the lottery, I swear I’m buying you a “Top-O’-The-Line” Screaming Bullet-proof Super Computer, (well right after I sober up after the initial celebration party).
Lol, I can see Avis really scared in the corner while her computer screams at her and repels bullets.
OK…a “Really Really Really FAST & Unbreakable Computer”
The first time my computer was possessed, I hired an exorcist.
The second time my computer was possessed, it was repossessed. Damn those repo men.
This is my step-fathers computer. Mine is nothing more than a paperweight now. A paperweight that is full of retrievable data (I hope).
Paperweights sort of work. If it is really broken it becomes a doorstop.
Cute, (relevant to your troubles), cartoon today: http://xkcd.com/627/
[Relevant to your troubles] Cute cartoon today: ht tp://xkcd.com/627/
Ha Ha! Thank you! You crazy squirrel this is exactly what I’ve been needing. (I am an IT consultant)
+1
I printed it out and hung it near my desk so all my “victims” can see it before prying me away from my important projects (IE: Failblog
).
I always told my students, when in doubt push buttons.
“RE-possessed”
Good one! Aahhh Haa! Brewski, you just kill me!
Wasn’t that the name of a movie with Linda Blair? Sort of an Exorcist spoof, I believe.
Yup. With Leslie Nielsen too I believe.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who watches obscure movies.
*squeeze*
*squeezesback* Since we’re on the subject of movies, I highly recommend Inglorious Basterds. I saw it last night and loved it!
My oldest daughter told me she was going to see Inglorious Basterds yesterday – I thought she was referring to her in-laws…she was not amused….must pay more attention to upcoming movies.
*snerk*
Hmmm… maybe that’s what I should start calling the scary side of the family.
*squeezes Judy and FailFriends*
Just so you’re not scared when she mentions it, The Final Destination is a movie as well.
Don’t forget Final Destination 2: Electric Boogaloo
It’s right here, sillybird!
Not that one! I tried to post an earlier one, but it vanished. Basically it said the same thing as the 10:06 one, minus the possessed part, so no filter catching words.
a man digs a pit, he will fall into it.
A man is dead on the ground next to an unopened package. There is nothing and no one else around. What happened?
(oh this one is golden)
(dead guy needed a canopyner)
It was his DIABEETUS medicine and it arrived too late.
Is that the right answer?
C’mon, you can’t leave us here…
Don’t chute the messenger.
Really, it’s plane for everyone to see.
Ohhhh.
NOW I geddit.
He was given that package–no strings attached.
RIP(cord).
The package was delivered OOPS Ground.
OH, aren’t we a para comedians!!
We know how to pack them in.
TEABAG KOMBAT! He got killed by someone’s package landing on him?
That reminds me of my uni days.
Everyone was too cheap to buy tea or coffee, we just bought mugs of hot water, and used our own. The tea drinkers invariably twirled their wet teabags and let go, where they would stick to the ceiling.
Did I say this was the engineering caf?
Anyway, just brought my hot water to the table, and was fishing in my bag for the coffee jar, and SPLOSH! – I had a cup of tea.
At the beginning of the video, it almost sounds like the camera guy says, “Ah, Shadow…”.
And for some reason, despite the fact that I don’t skateboard, I found myself thinking, “Oh jeez, what did I do this time?”
S’ok, I’m pretty sure his brain damage isn’t your fault. THIS TIME.
Oh no, it’s pretty clear who is the cause of brain damage in this particular specimen of intelligence…
Whatever he says, sounds German with “auf” as the first “word/syllable”
That was “oof, I suck at ramps”
Dil, you have fast ears! What language?
I was kidding
OH!
I thought you were serious.
What about me?
I’m afraid I don’t understand exactly what you’re asking?
Like me, he may be wondering how you’ve overlooked those of us who are not the sexiest of females.
You would fall into the category of “sexy males.”
*smooch*
Aww, shucks and thank you, although I must warn you that’s not me in the picture.
*falls further*
You mean… your hair isn’t pink and orange??
*sob!*
I feel so deceived!
I like your avatar, it matches my glasses!
It matches the tie from my lesbian wedding.
Um, what? What did I miss?
Please, MRN, explain to me how a guy can have a lesbian wedding?
See Wedding Photo Fail (it’s still on the home page.)
I soooooo should have known that!
Ah… Of course.
My favorite reply from that fail:
“You do realise that if you were marrying a lesbian she wouldn’t be sleeping with you… right?”
Well… I guess I would say that the guys on FailBlog are sexy too… but that statement has a lot that can be inferred from it coming from me. So I think I’ll leave this one to the girls
Nor do I shadow, Nor do I…
Well, then, this was doomed to fail from the start. Wouldn’t you say?
yes sir, sorry sir.
Damn right.
Let’s consider this incident a teaching moment.
Hi Mr. President. How do you like the Vineyard? Been to the Black Dog yet?
Some presidents would just have the Navy check out the water ahead of their visit. This guy sends a hurricane through to clear the area.
Clinton used to vacation on the vineyard too. So it’s not the first time that a blowjob has preceded the first-family vacation.
mmmmkay…
You think she’s pensive yet alluring.
expensive
::not want:: ::wanders off::
Hey Bob, here’s a clickie that goes well with yours.
lol, self headshot!
Finish him!
Fatality.
Skateboard revenge Win!
skateboard style
…was not on display here.
He should of tried a different heading.
AAAAAAARGH!!!
*headboard*
*cries*
*wipedy wipedy*
*pat, pat, pat*
*gives cookie*
*ducky tape, ducky tape*
*rings a bell!*
*plays some hoops*
Of a cookie.
*NOM NOM*
Thanks!
that boy’s parents needed a life guard around their GENE pool. I think we are seeing the beginning of a Darwin award winner
Not really, stuff like this happens daily. Darwin award winners are the ones who do that kinda stuff with shotguns and motorbikes with 1 wheel.
MA SPOON IS TOO BIG!!!!
I’m a bonana.
What a stupid skater
*makes note in log book*
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
It’s a good thing I used indelible ink, isn’t it?
Also, I saw Qwaz’s note…..I think I’m little sad! Even though the first time I replied to him I thwacked him with a rotting fish!
I am quite sad about it myself. I hope he takes the Admiral’s advide to heart.
What did I miss?
Qwaz has left us for a little while.
I have the same question. Something over this weekend?
Privacy Fail, near the bottom of the page. His good-by letter to us (for now).
Long post near the bottom of Privacy Fail.
Yeah, what she said 4 mins ago.
*snork!*
*erases note in log book*
Hey, that’s double posting! (Well, I guess technically I don’t know what time zone Duroc is in, so maybe not?)
He posts once per fail. Not every fail, but most of them.
Ahh, I always thought it was once per day.
Hey Brewski, something you missed while you were dormant, and I don’t know if it was discussed here: Check out the less-traveled sites in the family (eg, Engrish), and see what’s been added to the comments. I don’t think I’m gonna like that if it gets here – obstructs the conversational flow.
Why would they even want a feature like that?
My hope is it’s to stimulate conversation on the less active threads. As I said above, I think it would be a nuisance here. Shall we email the decision makers?
It would certainly get in the way of conversations here! Yeah, I think e-mails are in order.
*sighs*
It would be nice if just one of the family computers was up to that task! We REALLY need the Geek Squad to fix things!
MRN, are you talking about the “Ratings” for each post?
Yup.
*gives own posts a +10*
…and, they’re gone!
I just went back to the Engrish site, and the post voting is not there!
Hmmm… Boggy looks like he’s gained a little weight.
Post voting seems like it might have been an easy way to deal with trolls, but it would have backfired big-time.
Avis please, please, please don’t say you need the Freak Squad! I promise I will give you a cookie!
Before I officially became an IT consultant I used to go into Best Buy and screw with them by asking impossible questions.
*gives thumbs up*
*changes her mind, grabs blanket and teddybear, puts thumb in mouth, takes nap*
*gooses Katz in her sleep*
*giggles*
*rolls over*
Wheel in the eye keeps on burnin’
I dont know how bruised It’ll be tomorrow
Wheel in the eye keeps on burnin’
Fabulous!
B2th, your brain cells are definitely “eclectically” connected rather than “electrically.”
lol. (^_^)
Nothing like the rage of a 12 year old to get shit done…
Oh, wait.
Its a break in modern science!
Oh, wait.
Which hurts more now, your pride or your head?
*mondaysqueezeforeveryone*
are zombies involved?
ht tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_and_Prejudice_and_Zombies
I am reading that book right now!
How did you know?! *locks doors and pulls the shades*
♪ In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. Who’s in your head,
In your head … ♪
*mondaycranberriesforKatzEtAl.*
The things I find in here are amazing. This one I GOTTA read!
It’s really good so far! I’m about half way thru it.
I believe they are doing another classic rewrite with werewolves.
what does he take out of his pocket after?
his brains
His balls!
He put them there with great forethought, (expecting the fall and all), having seen all of the other skateboard fails here.
Don’t you just love that age where you think you can just smash anything that pisses you off?
Why would that feeling ever go away?
because eventually the part of your brain that senses pain dies of
lonelinessimpact trauma.Yeah! Thats how I got expelled from elementary school! I put a kids face through a computer screen!
You seriously need a Psycologist…
Doctor Shellacked Mackerel will see you now bob.
That would be a waste of fish.
*opens up earth beneath Bob*
*watches Bob disappear*
*closes up earth*
*sigh*
If only…
Gee, thanks. What made you think WE wanted Bob?
*sigh*
RIGL!!!! oops, I mean ROFL!!!! hey, did you get a chance to check out Fido?
Only the trailer you clickied me to, haven’t seen the movie yet. Is it out already?
Coming from someone who thinks they can talk to badgers >.>
WHAAAT?!
P.S. That was a joke, most I’ve ever done was stab a kid in the neck…
Oh wait…
There is way too much Bob on this comment page than any of my Fail peeps should have to deal with.Can you, ‘take him out’ for us?
*drops down from ceiling onto Bob*
*crushes Bob’s skull with a few powerful nunchuck blows*
*drags Bob’s body over to LOL Cats*
Geez, I just wanted you to go to a restaurant or something.
Yes! If everyone would just go to a restaurant more often, the world would be a better place! Trust me on this!
if only Ban ki-Moon would realise this..
Mmmm… pizza!
Ooh! Ooh! Share! Please!
NUMMERZ!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, must buy your own – and not take out!
A little harsh, hmm?
Sorry, when you try to pay a mortgage based on tip money, you learn to hate takeout.
Well…someone seems to have snuck all these yummy treats like cookies and cupcakes into my Girl Genius lunchbox today…so I’ll provide dessert!
*smooch!*
Erm…just be careful of the cookies Arthur gave me. They’re…special.
The… the…the… cookies???
*crumbs fall from lips*
*look of horror*
I thoughted the lolcats section was kinda kewl. But datz just me.
::STOMPS Bob::
::wanders off looking
hungrily
for cookies::
*gives Boggy some cookies*
*wonders if Boggy has the same reaction from Thin Mintsš™ that SB does…*
Are they frozen, Judy? That’s the only way to eat them, ya know!
hi BOGGY!!!! *smooch* I’ve missed you!
You kissed Boggy???
:ick:
Jeez, just cause I’m a new brand of troll doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me…
I’m just too lazy to log on now and then
did he die?
Yes, in a fire many years later.
His headstone read: “Dentist, yachtsman, retard”
The Disturbing thing is, he was the most successful guy in his town.
I hope so .. poor guy.
Rage Against The Machine!
in soviet russia skateboards kick you
Orly? I heard they bite you.
good try, too late, look up ^
too bad my visor broke
School has started and we all know what that means! Instead of doing his work, Blog Ninja's gonna be wastin' a whole lotta time on FAIL Blog!Oh my God, to the Bunker!
As long as you don’t make your text like that in every comment, I think I’ll be fine with it
It's how I always do it.Yes, he always does...
You might be a cute little Ninja, but MONSTER?
BUT, no one trembles, no one hides, & no one leaves you cookies!
Leila’s scared of him. He dismembered her once. I don’t think she’ll ever forget that.
*leaves cookies for BOGGY*
But yours is slanted as well.
Look again!
Skateboard to douche: This is for all those hatefully, hurtful, racist things you’ve said about me!
Shot to the head, and your to blame
You give skaters a bad name…
skateboard win!
Ooh, look, it’s Bop Jovi!
*screams & faints*
OH HAI, IZ VINCE WIF SHAMWOW.
ULL BE SAYIN WOW
EVRY TIEM U USE DIS TOWEL.
IZ LIEK CHAMOIS! IZ LIEK TOWEL!
IZ LIEK SPONGE.
A REGULAR TOWEL DOESNT WERK WET – DIS WERKZ WET OR DRY.
DIS AR TEH 4 DA HOUZ, TEH CAR, TEH BOAT, TEH RV!
SHAMWOW HOLDZ TWENTY TIEMS ITZ WEIGHT IN LIQUID. LOOK AT DIS!
IT JUS DOEZ TEH WERK!
Y DO U WANTS 2 WERK TWICE AS HARD?
DOESNT DRIP, DOESNT MAK MES.
WRIN IT OUT, U WASH IT IN DA WASHIN MACHINE.
MADE IN GERMANY, U KNOE TEH GERMANZ ALWAYS MAK GUD STUFF.
U CAN CUT IT IN HALF, USE WAN AS BAF MAT, DRAIN UR DISHEZ WIF TEH OTHR WAN.
USE WAN AS TOWEL.
OLYMPIC DIVERS, THEY USE IT AS TOWEL.
LOOK AT DAT! COMPLETELY DRY!
PUT WET SWEATR, ROLL IT UP, IT DRIEZ UR SWEATERS. HEERS SUM COLA, WINE, COFFEH COLA PET STAINS. NOT ONLY IZ TEH DAMAGE GONNA BE ON TOP – THARS UR MILDEW. DAT IZ GOIN 2 SMELL! [ C DAT? ]
TEH MOST ABSORBIN WERE GONNA DO DIS IN REAL TIEM! LOOK AT DIS! PUT IT ON TEH SPILL, TURN IT OVAR! WITHOUT EVEN PUTTIN PRESURE, FIFTY PERSENT OV TEH COLA RITE THAR.
U FOLLOWIN ME, CAMERA GUI?
TEH OTHR FIFTY PERSENT, TEH COLOR STARTS 2 COME UP. NO OTHR TOWELS GONNA DO DAT!
IT ACTS LIEK VACUUM!
AN LOOK AT DIS – VIRTUALLY DRY ON TEH BOTTOM!
C WUT IM TELLIN YA?
SHAMWOW! U’LL BE SAYIN WOW EVRY TIEM!
okay… you do that…
*holds up “Do Not Feed The Trolls” sign for Badger to see*
Aahh, it was behind the tree. Now I see it.
tl:dr
We Have A ANOTHER Brand Spanking New Troll Here! And Its Name Is Haiit’skitteh! Order Now Call 1800- Get-Rid-Of-Him-Rightnow, to get Him! *Limited Time Only*
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the skateboard tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
laughs at me in the end
*cries*
*wipes tear from eye*
It’s so beautiful… so true…
*throws hotel room key at B2F*
hmmmm, who’d thought Johnny Cash was the new Berry White
I thought he was the old Betty White?
(Name change fail – not a political commentary there.)
Can I give you cash for your clunker?
…so I can buy a new Berry White?
Berry funny.
*Holds lighter flame up, sways and cries*
karma beeotch
I’ve been to Karma Beach, nice views, shitty service.
You must’ve done something bad before visiting.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
*wonders why reversal found this so entertaining over the weekend*
Because he’s 12
Well, when I was was 12, I… errr… yeah, I see your point.
This video was brought to you by the Rochester area Brain Injury Committee.
That’s a physics WIN!
Newton would be so proud.
for every frustrated action, there is a further retardation
and it’s another way to proof: safety third!
and i’m still wondering why nobody said this before…
lottofee, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Don’t copypasta at lottofee! You’ll get sauce everywhere.
It’s ok, I always wear protection.
*puts mittens, slippers and swim goggles on*
In all fairness, he was referencing a previous fail. He just did a bad job of it.
In all fairness, he is a she.
Well?
Oh… text wrapping fail…
I’m beginning to think it should be a mandatory thing.
I could read it, but I’m wondering when you’ll show us yours – or is this one of those things you want to be mandatory but won’t do yourself until everyone else has to?
It’s just an idle comment on the confusion of gender on the internet. But if it does become mandatory, then yes, I will.
…
Wait, are you saying you don’t know if I’m a guy or a gal?
nope, I thought you were a lad
Thank you. I am.
Okay fine.
I was getting tired of being mistaken for woman anyway.
Hello?? Is this thing on?!?
Pffft. I think you secretly enjoyed it. :p
Yeah, I’m scratching my head at this reaction. I thought it was a joke I wasn’t getting. Lottofee is very kind, and we want her to feel welcome here.
@ blue2th
wow.
i still don’t know why you are reacting this way blue2thfairy.
i really don’t know if i said something wrong, and you have a reason to bash me, or if this is supposed to be a joke. seriously i don’t understand it.
@ the others
thank you dilettante, i was just about getting pissed, but your comment helped a lot.
thank you dragon for adding, that english isn’t my first language and it’s possible i made a mistake here by not knowing it better
thank you admiral for your nice words
and thank you shadow, yes i’m a female, but why do you know?
i know i could have replied to every person each, but i don’t want this discussion to explode… if i did something wrong, please tell me so and don’t bash me for a reason i’m not getting
this was quoted from billy madison?
to speak with billy: a simple “wrong” would’ve done just fine.
I didn’t win the Lotto. I demand my fee back.
but lottofries are free to fry — fry away
(True – you only have to pay for the fryer… and the oil… and stuff.)
♪ See the blog and lottofry. Up in the air, he likes to fry. ♪
Guys…lottofee is actually very nice and English isn’t her first language, so be nice, okay? Tanks!
Blue2th used the same copypasta on me a long while back and I got massively pissed until I realized what it was. I tried to help, Dragon!
I know you did!
*squeeeze*
I can always count on you, Dilly.
*hangs head in shame*
*squeeze*
Only Judy can pull that one off.
Haha, stupid swedish skater boys….
“Kör då”
Blergh. Reality sucks. Can I just come hang out in FB fantasy land forever?
No?
Fine, how about a few hours then?
For as long as you’d like.
…or until the cows come home, whichever comes first.
*needs chocolate, badly*
Bad day, Ms B?
Here, I wrapped up this gift box of virtual gourmet truffles just for you. It’s not much, but I hope it helps.
*hands chocolate*
Thanks, Brewski! You’re my hero!
Yes it has been a rough day. I just want to go back to bed!
*wheels in blog futon*
*pat, pat, pat*
*Offers plush pillows and floofy kitteh or puppy*
*snuggles in deep*
*sighs contently*
I love you peop…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*pulls up covers*
*tucks in*
*turns the lights down low and opens the window just a bit to let in a cool breeze*
Reality is for people who can’t handle Fail Blog.
*”dot ORG”*
Amen, brutha-dot-org!
You want the blog?? You can’t handle the Blog!!
*looks around for 2th and a few other good men*
Ahem.
*raises eyebrow*
I’ll be here with the badass babes.
*sigh* One movie reference, check.
Misinterpreted as having relevance to sex due to listing movie title in post, check.
Lame joke that falls flat, check.
Looks like I’m up to my usual tricks after my sabbatical!
*facepalm*
I got the reference…I was just being silly!
Doofus.
:p
*grabs shovel*
*digs deeper*
*offers “I’m happy to see you” squeeze*
*squeezes Brewski*
Good to have you back! I missed you.
*checks Brewski’s dipstick*
Hmmm. Looks like you’re at about 86%!
Or…does this mean you’re 86% dip?! I’ve always been confused on that point…
*ponders*
I’m 86% dip, 45% doofus, and 35% math failure.
That’s more than half!
“CLICK TO VOTE!”
I’m clicking but nothing’s happening!!
*facepalm*
*FaceBoard*
You don’t have to beat yourself up over it! Sheesh!
Just keep clicking.
DO – NOT – STOP!!!
*starts clicking furiously*
My finger’s bleeding and feels like it’s about to fall off. Can I stop yet?
Yes, you can stop. I think abstract can help you with the finger problem
awwwwwwwwww – she stopped
You know what I meant. Sheesh
But I don’t have the hiccups!
*runsawayfastasshecan*
*watches her run away*
Eh…
*looks confused*
I’ll never understand women, I swear…
*walks away shaking head slowly*
Touch button humor.
*Snickers*
*pssst!!* Shadow!
Click this to understand why Ms B is afraid!
ht tp://www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/stop_your_hiccups.html
Omg…the comments more than the article are making me *snorkgiggle*!!
Oh boy. I really don’t think that helped me much, Brewski. I mean, I understand now… now I’m slightly weirded out, is all…
In your Endo Shadow, In your endo
Where’s the rest of your comment Shadow?
Just like a US presidential election! Your vote doesn’t matter!
Unlike the Zimbabwean Election, were your vote means everything
I’ve already cast 50,000 ballots in Somalia.
I bred several championship cats in Abyssinia.
I voted “In Absentia”. Not a pleasant place to be.
Djibouti out the incumbent?
No, dammit. Those bastards rigged the election. You can’t trust anybody nowadays.
Pirates!
“Murdered by pirates is good.”
♪ Build me up, Buttercup, don’t break my heart. ♪
Have fun effecting regime change in the castle!
But if you end up all dead we’ll just go through your pockets looking for loose change.
LOL
short, simple, to-the-point. I like.
Gets the point across, although a *Snork* would be more accurate
SNIP & SNAP were built to be accurate.
The guys from Car Talk? No, wait, that’s not right…
Nip and Tuck?
wow, you would think that skateboarders take enough risks, they shouldn’t be adding to that risk by beating themselves up with their equipment!
exactly.
That was awesome. First good laugh of the day.
especially the fact that he seems to be swedish amuses me:D
WTF. Wut about that makes you think he was Swedish????
he says “kör då” which kinda means “go ahead” in swedish
I see what you did there. -.-
I’s a double Fail)))))))
Admitting is the first step to acceptance.
Drinking Cabo Wabo is the second
And then you’ll be needing the next 12 steps.
Nah – 1800 in large bottles is currently $15.00 off – until Oct. 31.
So you can afford to avoid that 12-step program for a bit longer?
And 3rd
And 4th
and 5th
and safety is always third!
Instant karma FTW!!!
Already been said, get your own humor.
‘O where ‘o where has my humor gone, ‘o where, ‘o where can it be?
*urp*
Sorry, I got a little snackish.
*tries Heimlich manuver on Mrs B to get humor back*
Come on Ms B out with it!!
*squeezes again*
Hey, how you doin???
Pretty good baby, how you doin?
Feelin fine and lookin better!
You sure do fill out that sweater…
Reason number 6,782 why you should not act like a spoiled 2 year old.
I like this clip, but
the comments more. Its bad enough to,
trip on the kick flip.
Then.
Whack to be attacked.
You should seriously try writing fail haiku. I think you could have a real talent!
Skateboard in the air.
It lands, but not where I want.
I have to face it.
mmmm, poetry!
It’s almost sunset. Walk on the beach, too?
if you’re offering, why not? I prefer vicious electrical storms and tornadoes, honestly…. driving wind and hail, green skys, flash-flooding, power outages. gets me all tingly
Too bad neither of us gets much of that type of weather where we live. Now, if you want the posting equivalent of the violent weather, just look down there vvvvv.
*troll comments go here*
Just trying to establish continuity for later readers.
awwww, got the nesting wrong…
You make little smiley face at bottom of page sad!
*roffle!*
What really makes me happy is the “raise their esteem” part. Watching the poor kid in the video get walloped in the face makes this kid feel better about himself. Now what does that tell us?
*yawn*
*SQUEEEEEEEEZE!!!*
Hey, sexy. I’m feeling pretty proud today. I might write a poem about it, if you’ll “look it over”.
Oh, baby…you know that if you wrote a poem I’d be alllllll over it! Especially if it has winky faces.
Awwww… somebody needs a hug. Errr… anybody willing to hug the troll? Anybody…?
“Not I,” said the duck.
If by “hug” you mean whack with a tire-iron until a gooey bloody mess is all that remains, then I’d be willing to volunteer.
Ooh, can I watch?
*gets popcorn & prepares for the show*
Watch? I have a spare tire-iron if you’d like… Just don’t spatter the pop-corn. You never know what they’re carrying.
Hey now, what problem do you have with my zombie smiley face now? Maybe I don’t like your snowflake looking brown mug either, but I wouldn’t insult you in front of everyone about it.
*takes picture of TheLars failing*
*submits it to FailBlog*
*pic fails to make it to page one because TheLars fails at failing*
Staight up. Off you go, boring troll, take a picture of yourself failing for us, and
don’tlet a skateboard hit you in the face on the way out.Don’t worry, I’ll help out with the skateboard bit. *smacks TheLoser over the head with a Plan B deck*
Damn, I just ruined a perfectly good Plan B. I should have just used a kid’s skateboard.
The problem is he doesn’t have a Girl cause he’s a Zero.
**************
I’m laughing at you! I’m laughing at you!
Emailing Emily.
Buh-bye, troll.
We’re saved!! *squeeze*
I love watching the lightning storms around here!
*BZZZ-ZZAP!*
No more troll.
*squeeze*
You’re my hero, Dragon!
*adoring eyes*
I love the smell of ozone in the evening.
Just don’t destroy the layer.
If you don’t like the way things are done here, then go start your own failsite. And at your own failsite, you can tell everybody to post their comments in a completely emotionless, badass manner, where each comment is filled to the brim with masculinity and efficiency, and totally devoid of creative thought.
But we’ve posting here since before you even managed to finally figure out how to spell your own name, so let us run things the way we run them.
And please, I agree, do take a picture of yourself failing. We could always use another laugh.
What did TheLars say? I missed it.
He went on a one-troll rampage against all the regulars. Didn’t like people using
’s or *’s. He didn’t stay long.
“face it”!
*snork*!
n00b xD
How do you know pudding’s not a chick?
What, because S/he said n00b, they’re automatically cool?
d00d, what a n00b. E\/3|^ybody |<n0\/\/s 7h@t 5p34|<ing 1337 m34ns j00 r t3h 5h17.
“chrachters”? What are chrachters? Are they like soda chrachters or graham chrachters?
Can I have pen!s butter on mine?
He has introduced himself to an unbearable faintness of being.
Nearly plucked out his own eyes like king Oedipus.
Cheer up IS, he didn’t mention you.
I know. I posted here because he wouldn’t be smart enough to figure out that I was actually doing a reply of sorts.
*squeeze*
ahh clever trevor
Do I have to do it with an english accent?
Duh. The English accent is mandatory.
[english accent]
Once upon a fail-night dreary, while I commented weak and weary,
Over many a sad and laughable troller whining on the floor,
While I sat there, nearly laughing suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my bedroom door.
`’Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, `tapping at my bedroom door -
Another troll, and nothing more.’
Ah, distinctly I remember it was soon to be September ,
And each separate sad schoolchild threw a fit upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; – vainly I had sought to borrow
From my fails surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the bore, TheLars-
For the ignorant 12 year old troll whom the angels named TheLars -
Ignored here for evermore.
[/british accent]
I could go on, you know.
But it’s not worth my effort.
Wow! OK, I want the post voting enabled just for long enough to get this post thumbs up from everyone.
*thumbs up*
*thumbs up*
Aw shucks, you guys, it wasn’t that good.
I’m fairly sure I screwed up the meter once or twice and the last line doesn’t even rhyme.
I would be surprised if you could even tell me what poem that’s based off of.
*gasp* The post… is gone.
*sigh of content*
*burrows through ground*
*pops back up after a few minutes*
*raises a dozen thumbs, all pointing up*
Thankee
England’s full of Chav’s now so no-one sounds like that anymore.
A man can dream, though.
The only Vaugley English-esque places I can think of are Burford & Oxford, but both get flooded by tourists every holiday which does ruin it somewhat.
I want to live in St. Mary Mead damit!
Just so long as they got rid of the murderer in the vicarage
*in best Nigel Bruce voice* Jolly good.
*in best Nigel Tufnel voice*
Turn it up to 11!
It’s not your job to be as confused as Nigel.
Hey, whats wrong with an English accent?
Nothing. MRN just wanted me to recite a pom is all.
It’s just potry humor.
*looks at watch* Yep, it took him about 10 minutes to work it out.
It’s called Subtlety, Google it
The blog’s going to look really weird when all your posts are erased. It’ll be like I was chatting away to myself.
*Is still laughing at the poor troll’s expense*
Smiley Time!!!










:0
oh yeah, one more…
:*:
Okay???
*Gives Invisible Shadow a squeeze*
That is a skateboard win if I ever saw one.
*sigh*
*rocks back and forth in corner, constantly repeating …*
Do not feed … do not feed … do not feed …
I know I shouldn’t, but I was having too much fun.
Me too. I saw the opportunity to make a Poe reference and I took it.
There was a time when i would send the zombie hoard after a troll like that, but two things happened. First came the petition, shortly after that the hoard started getting mad at me for only feeding them troll brains.
It’s okay, ZA…it’s gone.
*pat pat…ewwwwwwwww*
Thanks! Oh, sorry …
*offers DW a fresh ShamWow*
Why do I feel that Heather should feel insulted?
See, now he’s gone & we all look insane.
But we have the memories of the fun we had.
Ah those long summer days spent Troll Bashing…
I know your still reading this TheLars, shoo! Bad troll!
What do you mean “look”?
I don’t think that its being here or not is what makes us look insane.
I feel insulted, he liked me, too.
*ShamWows the contaminated feeling away*
All clean.
*squeeze*
*squeaks*
*gives Dilly a plate of graham chrachters and chocolate frosting sandwiches*
Ooh, how about some animal chrachters?
This is now the TheLars Memorial Potry Corner. R.I.P.
*roffle*
In the memory of all the fun we’ve had these brief few minutes, I propose that we create the TheLars FailBlog Award for Potic Excellence.
All in favor, say aye?
Aye.
Aye, he deserves a statue
Probably the only erection he’ll ever see. And I mean monument you filthy minded individuals.
I know the trolls are gone, but I just LOVE the concept of “Potic Excellence”.
Typo of the year. Take a bow.
Ouchtown population you bro!
Lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
lazy
Jane,
she
wants
a
drink
of
water
so
she
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
and
waits
for
it
to
rain.
~Shel Silverstein
YAY!!!! Now do the polar bear one!
*squeeze*
Atleast he’s smarter.
Atleast *shrugs*
OWNED
the slow motion ahh sounds like a dinosaur lawl
wow, failed at failing
See? That wouldn’t have happened, if the redneck had just worn a helmet!
Dern my worthless job! It looks like I missed a whole lot of fun this afternoon. And, yes, you all look like a bunch of idiots now that the troll’s posts are gone. Just sorry I missed them!
I missed it too, Judy. It’s still fun to read the aftermath.
*squeeze*
He hated smileys, *’s and poetry. We made him suffer.
Ownd
Shortest poem in the English language, entitled “Fleas.”
Adam
had ‘em.
I’ve got a shorter one, entitled “Horse”.
Trots lots.
“Fluffy”
Whets wet.
There goes the wapiti,
Hippity hoppity.
That sucked.
Sadly, this is by no means the first, nor the second, or even the third or fourth time I’ve seen skateboards get revenge on their idiot psychopath riders. But every time I DO see it, it just gets funnier.
Is that Hockey Temper?
Hmph. Skateboarding blows dead bears, anyway. Just walk or drive, like the normal people do. Don’t be a skater prick.
anger management fail.
simply HAHAHAHAHAHA
que pendejooo
what a dumass
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!
where is the veil
Hey, what are you doing over here? We have scantily-clad women at the next fail!
Sorry, going back to wherever i came from
nice fail!!!!! good job joe…… XD
This is a double fail, it hits his nose yet he holds his head, ah whitney was right when she sung that the children are the future! lmao
Nice to see skateboards standing up for themselves.
nice trick the second one, never seen before!!, dead head truck!!
This is all about (lack of) (self) control
ha ha ha….. what goes around comes around.
anyone got a frontal pic?
hahahaha wait u wanna see his front…r u perhaps ghey? or gai? or even gae?
Pare ejit xD
HEADSHOT!!!
BETRAYAL!
Poor skateboard… getting abused and shouted at by that evil man ;(
rofl!!!
what a re`tard.
serves him right for not wearing a shirt in public.
klunk klunk… UGHHHHHHHHYUGYYYYYYYYG!!!!!!!!
Skateboards where meant to take more then that-.- but not meant to be use in such a way
Oh Charlie Brown.
LOL!
EXACTLY what i was thinking
I could watch this all day long…what it that bouncy object? a refrigerator?
omg xD first 10sec was like ordinary sk8ing fail. but 12-13sec was so fukin epic xDDD BOOM HEADSHOT!! xDD
crazy
Failblog,
Now with double fail.
Loock when he hit the refrigerator,man he does not have brain boom awwww, hahaha.
Respect thy skateboard
That’s what the pale skinny bastard gets when he thinks he’s cool.
OMG! What an idiot *rolleyes*
I know this dude
he’s ok and this vid is really old