Clarinet Fail
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Yeah, yeah, blowing his own horn. Adolescent fail.
Such a nice tune!
Not for the people listening to it, methinks.
I guess he likes the girl in front.
We, the Gnoms and the Elves, think she likes the guy in the back
You’re gnomming the elves?
well, he’s obviously not elving the gnomes.
and this is because gnomes kick ass.
gnomes midgets elves, whats the difference, they are all short.
Elving lives!
the elves in LOTR aren’t short!
You talking about the giant floating head?
Yes but it is a giant floating head with highlights, so she is awesome!
No, the guy wearing a red shirt, but I think only We, the Gnomes and the Elves (and maybe some humans), can see him. By the way, you’re the first talking fish I’ve ever seen. Congratulations! * puts a bronze medal on fluffy’s scaly chest*
No! Secretary General, that could weigh fluffy down and trap her on the bottom of her tank!
*puts medal next to fluffy*
There.
Don’t worry if it’s on her chest than technically it’s below her. It should just sink and leave her be.
THERE’S PONDER!
Down yonder?
i get this everywhere i go, dang prejudice…
either way… I’m back, baby.
Where is your friend, the talkingpenis?
Alice, your memory is outstanding!– i thought he was a lost friend… he was a good friend too.
I, too, question where he be. I once knew not of that beautiful species of talking penises, but he taught me a lot from our meeting.
I guess just you and me will remember the impact he had on failblog. A lost legend.
we may not remember him, or know him… but he will live on from the memories of him you share. and the fails here about penises and stuff.
*sniff*… I guess so.
For all who honour the legend of the talking penis, cast your eyes over the fail where we first met.
http://failblog.org/2009/04/12/defense-fail/
WHERE ARE YOU MY FRIEND??
this is at a roller rink by my house!
WOW!Talk about blowing your whistle!
!eltsihw ruoy gniwolb tuoba klaT!WOW
!eltsihw ruoy gniwolb tuoba klaT!WOW
Lol that’s Gnomish for ‘My fish ate my sausage! Oww!’
That would hurt. It is only funny when the fish bites someonelse’s.
Oh yea. C-C-C-C-Combo breaker.
Nice! It’s not everyday that a regular does a combo breaker on trolls’ failed pun-run.
talk about FLIP FAIL.
I suddenly felt very small…
ı snppǝulʎ ɟǝlʇ ʌǝɹʎ sɯɐll…
Woop!
ʍood¡
W
o
o
p
!
Moodi
Seventh!
Oh good god, what on earth has happened to that child’s eyes?!
It’s from hitting the bong.
He plays on the football team….No, wait! If that were so, the steroids would have shrunk…
He got beat up by the football team for stealing their girlfriends.
Are you sure his eyes didn’t get eaten by the carnivorous caterpillars on his forehead?
How ever could they be back again!?
Obama perhaps… trying to sell his evil Health Care Plan?
Nope. I kept a few tucked away at Area 51 .The rest is classified. I think FEMA saved a few too. They just don’t care if some things are better off destroyed.
For some reason his eyes make me think of WhoaNellie’s avatar.
Speaking of avatars, that reminds me. Where do I have to go to set mine up? I know I read it somewhere, but I forget.
Well it reminds me of his avatar except the whole “wetting his whistle” part.
gravatar.com
Thanks.
Thanks…
Wonder who ate my last thanks?
*hides pet wun-wun*
Hey! Give that back!
Clarinet…? what clarinet?
tastes like licorice
Taste the rainbow.
There once was a man from Nantucket…
My baloney has a first name, it is omnomnomnomnom.
WOW!
You’re like a MAGIC PERSON!
How do you do that!?
Do visit here>>www.85qm.de/up/BigRedButton.swf
They do it with magic *sparkles fly everywhere*.
Is it a video of the great Bologna whale?
Wow I hate that thing in a “Cut off your head with a toothbrush” kind of way. lol
What is that quote from? I know I’ve heard that somewhere.
Don’t press the button.
Thank God it wasn’t a bassoon…he’d REALLY be in trouble!
I’d worry more about the blonde about to blow a poison dart into his head.
I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s really attempting to save the kid from years of embarrassment. Although, looks like he’s a tad bit late in doing so…
Have no worries, school administration will have a hand
onin this incident. The young teacher, with highlights in her hair, will soon be taking him to the supply closet to give him a “really good talking to” and help him learn to handle his problem in private.Daydreaming again, eh?
Well, there’s nothing on television worth devoting brain cells to…..
That is not true at all. New York Goes to Work? Dance Your A$$ Off? What Not to Wear?
FIRST!
Not, Dave.
What do you think you’re doing, dave?
First at failing to be first?
He mostly looks like eating it.
(Ain’t any better than the chap on the left who tries to eat his sword)
You mean the one on the right?
Fail at knowing directions?
I thought the one on the left looked like he was snorting it.
woodwind onansemble
The answer my friend, is blowing the woodwind wood.
*lol*
♪ There’s a natural music blowing through the air
if you listen carefully now you will hear
this could be the first trumpet. . . ♪
Bobbing Marius, mon,
♪ One and all got to facial their own reality now ♪
Fuzzy talkin’ ’bout guiltiness,
♪ These are the big fish. Who always try to eat down de own fish, just de own fish. I tell you what: they would do anything to materialize their every wish. . . ♪
Oh, don’t we have a rating system in Failblog? That sucks, considering everywhere else there exists one.
I was hoping to give those losers calling “first” a pwnsome – 100.
first
-100.
just like your mum
This is an autofellatio win.
Mandingo portrait fail…
SOMEONE has a passion for music
FAIL. That is clearly an oboe.
it looks like a didgeridoo.
Freudian win.
Oboe from a dildo?!?! *Squidward clarient plays Slur Etude in E-minor*
E-minor! *claps*
you know, he kind of reminds me of an Ood from Doctor Who.
What Dr. Who are you watching?
The one where people don’t call it DR. Who. :[
Really?! I can see no resemblance whatsoever between him and the Ood.
Yeah, I wasn’t getting it either. His eyes aren’t red and he isn’t trying to electrocute anyone. Dr. Who reference fail…
You guys are all just jealous – sitting there naked in from of your monitors, gazing longingly at your baldy half-incher, wishing you were double jointed or were 12″ long so you could blow yourselves as well…
Sorry, couldn’t read it. My huge shlong blocked the view.
Did you say something? I couldn’t read it. Your huge shlong blocked the monitor.
Lol…!
Why is my gravatar avatar not showing?
Hows your head feeling?
Hehehe!
(I have in fact worked all day today, no hangover)
I read all the comments . It was…heartwarming.
Good to know. Looks like we both are in the same boat. I have to work this weekend as well. I got plastered last night and laughed my *ss off watching Blazing Saddles for the first time. Thanks to failblog and the last fail ,I have added another great movie to my collection!
*gives Czuhc another beard hug*
Did everyone get drunk last night? I got a little tipsy myself. We did some bar hopping in Dayton.
(I controlled my urges to mark territory, everyone will be happy to know)
Congrats. However your avatar is still going to burn. You really should worry more about your problem with killing hookers…
I still crack up when I think about your ‘blinded by the giant ballsack in the eyes’ bit.
Swaffling the monitor again?
Where did you learn such language, young man?
Does he come from Nantucket
Do you mean, “There once was a man from…” ??
Yep!
Am I the only who thinks the girl with the “flute” looks suspicious also?
This one time, in band camp…
…Confetti came out of somewhere you wouldn’t expect.
*facepalm*
Reading comments fail! (I posted the same comment down there vv)
*squeeze*
It’s because he is black, right? That is such a myth. Ask any nurse.
Your just jealous!lol
My just jealous what?
WIN
Good morning to all, and to all a good squeeze
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
*good squeeze*
moomin squeeze? *hasn’t been here for a while*
This is a moomin squeeze.
*SQUEEZE*
That up thar is a shadowsniper squeeze.
And this ^
*SQUEEZE!*
is a freshly squeezed Moomin.
*Squeezes out the door*
This *squeeze* is an Alice sueeze!
And that was an Alice typo!
sueeet!
*squeeze*
*everybodyinthisthreadsqueeze*
Is everyone having a happy Saturday? Lots of cookouts and naps planned for today?
Nope. Working…
Me too…
Wait maybe I should rephrase that.
I’m at work, but not really working since I’m here.
I’m here, but I’m not all there. Life is better that way.
I second that emotion.
Can I sneak a *squeeze*, even though I’m not technically part of your official group-thing? I’m never intelligent enough to comment rationally this early in the morning, but I love reading the comments in here. I promise I’ll go away if you want me to, though…
*bear hugs Charlotte*
I guess I’m the only one around… Anyways, of course you can get a squeeze. Lurkers are a beloved part of the Failblog community.
TAG! You’re it.
*scampers off*
Awww. Thanks! *hugs back*
*squeeze*
Pirates are cool
Why thank you. I think I was born in the wrong century, I’d rather be a pirate… *squeeze*
*bunny-sized squeeze* I always wanted to be the almost not quite dressed damsel the pirate was…kidnapping..rescuing..either one works.
It’s the same basic concept, I think. It just all depends on where you start. I never quite understood why the damsels were so clothing deprived, though. You would think they’d catch cold, being around the ocean dressed like that.
lame.
I bet this is on a school wall.
or the Smithsonian.
Or the Sistine Chapel.
Or the weight room at Rikers.
Or the waiting room at Ringling Brothers.
Silly me. It’s an advert for Big: The Musical.
Actually, it looks a lot like my old elementary school.
Lol, this is funny!
It’s the baby from the snake owner- Parent fail all grown up now.
Sure, sure, many males have wished they could reach their own parts Nantucket style, but are you creative enough to !magine doing it while mid-squat?
That reminds me of a SNL skit. “The real reason men do yoga.”
*contorts an “n” into position in his comment*
*gets stuck that way*
Uhhh, a little help? Anybody?
*uses an allen wrench and Baconlube ™ to unstick Jimbo* there ya go. Stay away from spiral potatoes, though.
Why is there a black stuff coming out of his mouth?
The girl also seems to be playing flute with her nose.
You know why he’s sucking his own d!ck?
Cuz he’s the boss!
*gasp*
“I’m tha boss!”
“I know, you said that 400 times.”
Springsteen Elementary School?
Calm down, everyone, calm down…the kid next to him is about to take him out with a blowdart. Nothing more to see here.
hee hee hee. I said blowdart.
Thank god, another penis fail. Gotta keep that “1 penis fail : 1 of any other fails” ratio going.
I’m with you on this, Sloth of Wisdoom — but I think you’re too fast for them.
This one time, at band camp…
Holy Shit! This painting is from Forest View
A very interesting view of the forest. A Midsummer Night’s Wank?
I’m just sad to see that anime has polluted even the drawing style of little kids. Does anybody actually learn to draw for real anymore??
About as many learn to draw as they do to read and write in America. Not alot.
im an artist. and a damn good one, not too toot mi own horn, no pun intended
Is he eating a big long turd or sucking his own dick?
Neither hes just holding it with serious intentions *shudder*
shoot
Anime has taken over all popular culture, If you cant have one drawing of someone sucking theyre own dick then the world be damned
orly?
No rly, Everyone likes a penis now and again, hes just got it easier
and what about vagina?
find an instrument that looks like one and start painting!
That too. however thats usually harder to acquire
The guy to his right seems to be looking at him suggestively as if to say “can I help you with that?”, while the girl below looks uninterested and angsty while staring to the right as if to say ” I don’t care there’s a 23 inch dick getting pleasure played behind me, doesn’t anyone care I put white highlights in!? God, my life is shit, WAAAAAAHkdhsfakljghadgskjhadsgdlhTaoster;laskdhgh.”
Looks like a bonus flute fail to me!
…Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom…
How does it taste?
HUGH JUPP MUST DIE HE KILLED MY FATHER
No, I think it’s good your dad died if he spawned a violent idiot like you.
i bet he blew his brain out!
One time, at band camp …
THATS MY SCHOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!
School: Sir Ernest Macmillan Sr. P.S. ;D
Shyzzer! That’s my schoooooooooooooooooooool too!
…..as hilarious as this is, i’m about 98% sure this is a photo of a mural at my old high school… wow.
Looks more like a bug man.
Remember kids, it’s never too early to practice filatio.
ugh he looks like he has fangs sucking in his own dick
lol!
IT’S TAY ZONDAY D:
That kid really knows how to blow his own horn
Sweet evil jesus..I think that is my old middle school.
Meat Flute Hero
ur doin it right!
omfg i remember this picture because I WENT TO THIS SCHOOL.
xD
I knew it was a major fail but I never thought it’d get on failblog.
I don’t know if he’s either pooping from his mouth, or sucking a big huge black dildo…
dumbass,he’s doing both
Ah, Sir Ernest Macmillan Sr. P.S. Sadly, i still go to this school x) Gonna be going to Grade 8 this year. Funny how i’ve never noticed the kid sucking on his own dick before, even tho it’s right beside the music room and that you have to pass it everyday to get to the caff. Oh well. I’ll never look at that mural the same. Fail indeed.
What… the… bloody… hell…
Is it odd if this turns me on?
No,it turns us all on.
If most men could suck themselves off they’d never leave the house.
RASTA
?
This looks just like a picture on the wall of my Elementary school….
WTF.
This is the best fail I’ve ever seen! I have shared it with all my clarinet playing friends. Thank you so much Failblog!
F*ck me sideways!! i helped paint that!!!! i’ll go to the school tmrw and get a pic of the whole thing. Painted it in grade 8 like 5 or 6 years ago!
So nobody went with “There once was a man from Nantuckette
…. I swear to god I went to that high school, but someone said it was an elementary school?
I SWEAR i saw that at Marshall HS.
“Yo, I ain’t taking no music lessons! Imma sit right here and suck on this rubber rod, teach!”
i used to go to this school
it Sir Ernest Macmillian in toronto
I love this picture!
<33
Haha, this is from a school in my distrct x) Rommen Skole
i think its at GMS
I THINK ITS AT G.M.S
kids love to blow on their horns these days
Kids love to blow on their horns these days!