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Cheezburger Network Blog
AKA one night stand.
AKA AARP will protest ASAP — “Sleep with someone old!”
No, no. It’s young/old and new/used. Not new/old.
What’s the trade-in value on this used person I’ve been sleeping with? I’d like to get a new one.
It would cost me half.
*does math*
*can’t figure out out to split a 6yr old*
Never mind…I’ll just keep the one I have.
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue. . . I think you have the wedding covered Fuzz.
It is ACCLAIM.. Some old games publisher. Maybe theire offering a new brand of Tamagochis!
it clearly says its a hotel….
Sleeping with a stranger?
How can you sleep with someone new if you know who they are? If you know the person, then they’re not new.
You can sleep with me…I’m old.
Happy Hump Day!!! And yes, look for the innuendo…
*throws confetti*
Quick squeezes…really busy today…
Hope to check in later…
Btw, Skratdaddy, how was your birthday?
I totally missed that!
.
*Humpday squeezes*
.
Happy belated birthday, skrat!
What is Hump Day?
Hump day is wednesday, cause the rest of the week is down hill
I thought it was the 19th of every month. 19 does look like an o humping an l.
Your logic is astounding. It is Wednesday and the 19th, so therefore, we should declare it “Double Hump Day”.
“Double Humps.” Wouldn’t that make it “Boobie Day?”
Bactrian Camel Day.
I was just figuring on double the humps… But boobies are good too.
Or camels. Maybe we can shellack them and whack the trolls.
♪ My humps
My humps
My lovely lady lumps! ♫
“My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps
My lovely lady lumps
My lovely lady lumps
In the back and in the front “
*scrolling down self fail* you beat me by 15 min. and I never knew.
Well strap a saddle on me and call me a camel.
*lights up a Camel*
*decides this is not the Promised Land*
*coughs*
MRN, please put that out. Second-hand smoke kills, you know.
*Definition of pious: see Ex-Smoker*
Good idea – I think I lit the wrong end anyway.
*FARTS* =O Jules >:(
Thanks!!
*big squeezies*
I had a great B-day!
Happy belated birthday SD!
But are you new?
No, I was found by my parents at a second-hand store.
I was new at one time, but I think I’m starting to wear out a little…
That must mean it’s time for an upgrade.
I probably just need a little routine maintenance. You can’t upgrade perfection.
*squeeze*
*gives Jimbo a tune-up he’ll never forget*
*comatose*
Don’t forget to rotate his tires!
…and a thorough lubrication.
Check the spark plugs, too.
ZOT!
.
Yyyyuppp, tthtthhe sppppark pppplugs are ffffine.
*rummages around in medicine cabinet*
*grabs Baconlube™*
*puts on rubber glove*
Okay, Jimbo. This won’t hurt a bit.
^ Remember the *snap*…gotta have the *snap*…
Oh, snap!
Whoa, easy there PP. My prostate is perfectly fine!
or not…
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzomg!
This is not my beautiful wife!
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!! Fail
You lost the race.
I still believe in UFO’s. Maybe I could sleep with those. *Takes a sip of coffee”
i lost the game
I has a sad nao. I’z losted da gayem 2.
Please, refrain from using ICHC speak too much. It gives peopel headaches. And grammar problems.
*swiftly corrects “peopel” to “people”*
Once in however long it was since I last did it is too much?
“Enough is as good as a feast.”
*pulls gun out of purse*
Mary Poppins! Is that you? What are you doing with a gun?
Little known idiom by poet Joshua Sylvester, swiped by Disney.
*puts gun back in purse*
Her new motto -” Perpetually perturbed in every way”.
Hmmmm….
Super perturbed fatalistic explosive lassy’s vicious?
When she was little, my daughter called her “Mary Pawprints.”
*snicker*
oh noes!! P.P. gots a gun.
nao someone’s gonna falls, afinkso
(adn sleeps wiff some new fishies)
*pulls gun back out of purse, as well as a hand grenade*
I thought I heard LOLspeak again. I must’ve been mistaken. Hmmmm….
Hmmmm…. I tawt I taw an RPGspeak.
Really Putrid Grape?
Role Playing Game?
Ruined People Grin?
rocket-pocket-book-propelled role playing grenade
You clearly carry a big purse
Royal Puce Genome?
*headdesk*
Refresh fail.
Speak softly and carry a big purse. I like that.
Rotate Penis Gently?
You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.
~William Blake: Proverbs of Hell
*Ducks*
Quack!
Well, I have been known to operate without a license.
“Pray take them, Sir,–Enough’s a Feast; Eat some, and pocket up the rest.”
~Alexander Pope
*…Duck … Goose*
I am actually interested in seeing license for that gun you carry and so freely wield around here.
*raises left eyebrow*
Like that would be so unusual where you live.
*rummages around in wallet*
*pulls out fake gun license made in Photoshop*
See? Perfectly legal. It even has my picture. Though, it’s not my best side.
*is reminded where she lives*
MRN, hold me!!
You don’t have to ask twice.
Enough is abundance to the wise.
~Euripides
*Llama, llama, duck*
Too much of a good thing is too much.
~Me
Feel free to use it, though.
*Ducky Dalai Lama?*
Lord! When you have enough, what need you care how merrily soever other fare?
~Pope’s Bath
*Lucky Ducky*
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL!
Slogan WIN
Win, I don’t know about… but it’s a dubious fail, since we are kinda living in Brave New World these days.
tell your friends…
it seems this place is of great acclaim
Hospitality sweet.
Dream a little
wetdream with me!*dreams*
Wha-? Why am I all wet?
Don’t worry about it. It’ll rinse out.
*hands Ms Goodbar a ShamWow*
♪ I’m gonna wash that man right outa my hair. . . ♪
Sorry.
Hey, how you doin’?
Pretty good, baby. How you doin’?
better than u
dude threesomes are awesome!
No thanks. Dude threesomes are not my cup of tea.
They’re your bread and butter?
DANG IT!!! Nommed again.
WIK I’ve been trying to respond to your question about the tornado. We weren’t affected but one area had one land on them without warning. I was going to include a clickie but FB doesn’t like it for some reason.
We’re glad it missed ya.
*squeeze*
All my fault actually. I should have been wrestling that tornado until it gave up and bothered someone else, but I’ve been so damn busy. Sorry about that Leila.
ROFFLE! +1 for czuhc.
.
*squeeze*
Awww! velvet – you have a new clickie! And I’ve got depositions here all day today – folks going in and out of my area all day – can’t watch. *pouts*
I’ll leave it there for a couple of days so you won’t miss it.
.
*squeeze*
Three dudes, one cup?
Three new nude dudes, one see you pee?
(sleepy pee pee falls down — but that’s old news now to failpeeps)
That’ll fill up fast.
That’s not just nasty, that’s gnasty!
They’re on their backs by popular acclaim.
Seems to be an acclivous situation Fuzz.
“Be slippery with someone new.”
Hang on slopy, slopy hang on.
Earworm, nooooooo! *Visions of middle-school band class*
Very bad, sir.
Hee hee – key of D, Bearly.
(Although that was a slopy attempt at the chorus.)
All right, let’s see if I can get this pitch right…
♪♫♪♫♫♫♪
Now that’s the real McCoys.
♪ Bearly lives in a very bad, sir, part of town … ♫
Dude, I am SO inclined.
Really? What’s your angle, anyway?
He looks acute to me.
Quit being so obtuse and get to the point.
asleep with someone acute
Mi piace, etc….
ahh … too a-late, 2 a-cutes a-ready
… or not, here I, ah, go
You’re just too a-cute for words.
*pinches cheek*
*doesn’t say which one*
*Getting physical*
The angle of the dangle. . .
I wonder if they have hourly rates
Only a minute of stay if they would charge me for every second of my stay.
What do you mean slogan fail? I think it’s a perfectly good slogan;)
It clearly brings a smile to a cloudy face. ; )
NOT A FAIL
YES IT IS
*noted Eduardo’s contribution in the logbook*
Thank you, have a nice day.
*quickleilasqueeze*
I need to make the most of my failblog time today. I won’t get much more.
Say NO to the man!!!!
*jimboMEGAsqueeze*
I am the man now, that’s the problem. All of the sudden I have a terrible case of this thing called “responsibility.”
*breaks out the chips and dip*
*wheels in the cooler*
In any case, I’m chilling in failblog for a bit. Free snacks and drinks everybody!
*adds cookies to the free snacks*
FOOD!!!
*nomnomnomnom*
*urp*
Thanks, guys!
Ms B!!!
Where are your manners? What happened to sharing?
S
*facepalm*
I was trying to say, “She did say thanks.”
Indeed…but did she eat everything?
I am like starving here. 
I didn’t eat everything! There are bags and bags of chips left. And I brought cake. Here have a piece!
*gives Leila some freshly baked coffee cake*
Here you go.
*hands Leila a buttery Danish with her choice of filling inside*
Here ya go, sweetie. I’m not going to eat this. I’m on a diet.
Thank you Ms B and Lurk and Perp!!!
*takes one little bite from everything*
YUM!!!!!
Yep, how do you think I can afford all these e-snacks?
*puts out a news flash indicating DA MAN has been found*
*angry mob begins to form outside*
*flashes angry mob so they run away screaming*
*click*
*click*
*squeezes Leila and Jimbo*
Lurk!!
*squeeze*
I love your new avatar! Where’s that waterfall?
The waterfall is in Kauai. I snapped the picture and it doesn’t do it any justice.
Snapping pictures breaks them
If you do it at breakneck speed.
I just found out last night that I’m going there in February!!!! I’m sooooo excited!!!
Really? You will LOVE it there Ms B. This waterfall is awesome. We kayaked for a few miles on a river, hiked up a mile and there it was!!!!!! Heaven.
The hubby won a 5 night stay in a raffle yesterday. So, it’s even sweeter knowing it will cost me less this way! I’m in desperate need of a vacation, so this was good news for me last night.
I am very happy for you both!
Wow – that’s great Ms B! I wish you both perfect weather for your trip!
*bear hugs Leila*
Grab a drink and some snacks. I’m throwing a little stress free get together this morning.
*corrects that to Lurk*
I could use some coffee, but I’m not sure I want any stress, even if it’s free.
I ♥ your bear hugs.
And I love you squeezes.
*cheeksmooch*
Nope, I just gave Lurk a different one.
Oh. Okay.
*rebear hugs Lurk, because he’s so scatter brained*
*gathers up Jimbo’s brains before they get stepped on or eaten by ZA*
*glues them together and stuffs them back in Jimbo’s head*
Thanks. Now if only I can remember what I was supposed to be doing….
Partying, dude, you were supposed to be partying. Now, dance!
*grabs Judy*
*does the tango*
*click*
Promiscuity at its best.
*is somehow expecting some nekkidness now*
*is pretty sure Czuhc is going to be disappointed…..again*
I have been pretty good at keeping my clothes on lately, haven’t I? Except for that incident with Brewski and a sword…
I myself am reformed. The least I will wear is a bikini going forward.
*streaks through the blog*
Life is short! Play nekkid!
*plays Ray Stevens for background music*
*films Jimbo streaking through blog*
There’s some nekkidness for you, Czuhc! (Hey, you didn’t specify…!)
*reviews comments*
Nope…he sure didn’t! One nekkidness is just as good as any other.
I said I was expecting it, not hoping for it.
Also I did start a thread with the word “nekkidness” mentioned three times.
HAVE FONT WITH SOMETHING NEW YORKER
WHAT YOU SAY
marquee my words — having fun with monkeying-around fontics
How's this What's a fontnic???? WHY IS HOW’S THIS THERE?
Sounds like (phonics) you didn’t write right (fontics).
Huked on foniks taut me to reed gud!
Main screen turn on.
The new slogan was launched with critical aclaim.
Can someone tell me why FB keeps nomming my posts?
No.
You’re just so sweet, Leila!
It’s your lovely new avatar!
Must be.
*’morningsqueezeJudy*
*morningsqueezeLeilaand EVERYBODY!*
YAY!! Early squeezeFest!!!!!
*SQUEEZE!*
*joins squeezefest*
Four ladies and one Jimbo? This squeezefest sounds like a good morning.
*squeezes all the lovely FB ladies in attendance*
I’m in!!
*wraps tail around the whole bunch of ya*
Four ladies, one Jimbo and a Skratdaddy! Anyone else want to join the fun?
I haven’t squeezed in a long time and all these squeezes have been building up and I don’t think I can’t hold it any longer so…
* SQUEEEEEEZE !!!!!*
I want to join, too! *Goodmorning squeezes for everyone in squeezefest*
Lets even the odds up a little.
*squeezes all the squeezers*
*goodbyesqueezes for everyone*
I have to go get some work done. I’ll probably see everybody Friday. Au Revoir!
It’s so hard to say ‘au revoir’, so let’s just say ‘hors d’oeuvre’.
~Randy Newman? Steve Martin?
*squeeze*
Goodbye!
Ooh, did I hear squeeze fest?!
I’m so in!
*Squeeze*
*bear hugs Bearly*
*looks in room*
*grabs Czuhc*
*goes to sleep*
Mission accomplished!
… but … but …
Please sir, stand behind that mark and wait your turn.
Okay, fine.
*grabs “SOMEONE NEW”*
*goes to sleep*
Mi piace da fare la sua sonno-scenza.
Mi sono dimenticata che tu parli l’italiano. Una bella cosa.
Sonno-scenza …
not old enough
Yes, please.
Do not want!
Voulez vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?
Mais oui.
*squeezes Lady Moomalade*
“When life gives you Lady Moomalades, make out the best you can can.”
(but I think it’s The Moomin Rouged)
Make-out with Moomalade? Yet ANOTHER sticky situation.
Oh great — now my lips stick.
But that shade looks so good on you. Passion pink, right?
rofl!!! ^5 Lurk
Don’t squeeze him too hard though…
I think that this is a take-off on a radio spot that Hooters has been running for their new Las Vegas hotel/casino….
“Sleep with someone you know”.
I rather think this is a WIN. It certainly got them a lot of publicity, and I’d imagine it sticks in the mind.
The mind isn’t the only place it sticks…
It’s a sticky situation. I’m sure they’ll be able to recover quickly, though.
Oh great — now my mind is stuck.
♪ I got my mind set on you, I got my mind set on you… ♪
Hi mom. If you read this, I want to tell you that I’m gay.
Poor fool can’t even read his own name. It’s GARY!!!!!
Maybe when he tried to roll his R it rolled away.
It’s easy to trip up over a rolling R.
♪Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’
Keep that R a-rollin’
Rawhide!♫
♪ Roll away the dew ♪
I have a hard time rolling my Rs; they always come out wong.
Hi, Mom. If you read this, I want to tell you that I’m not a murderer, but I have contemplated torturing a few people.
He must be new.
Hi mom. If you read this, I want to tell you that I’m a triSexual and a thief.
Pfft, only Trisexual?
please that’s been my motto for 9 years…now if you’ll excuse me, I have some pubes to shave off…they’re really biting today…
Where do I sign up?
Right here. Sign your name…
here…
here…
and here…
and initial here…
here…
here…
and here…
…and leave a sample in that cup over there.
Have you had your shots, Cloral?
Sleep? Just sleep? Well, okay, I’ll try it just this once.
Adult squeezes?
Lobbying?
That’s rhetorical, right?
Why, dining out for the evening, of course. Please pass me more bellboy.
*Bellhops*
Mirrors on the ceiling. . . pink champagne on ice?
*Runs for the door*
Bells hop? Okay, if you say so, but I’ve never seen them do that….
*takes bottle of pink champagne*
*upends it into mouth*
*chips front tooth again*
Will I ever learn?
Hey, Marius! Come back here! *hick* I left some for you!
Only when they are told to Perpet.
Livin’ it up at the hotel. . . what a nice surprise.
*Checks alibis*
♪ You can check out anytime you like…
But you can never leave! ♫
I’ll let you know on Monday!
What’s the matter Judy?
Why so sad?
wake with someone used!
I just made something DELICIOUS in the microwave.
Score!
I AM TRYING, DAMMIT!!!!!!
Not the best slogan for repeat business..
stay adventurous,
Craig
All I see here is WIN.
Advertising WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WIN! *Start of Something New*
I definatly saw this exact bus at the Calgary airport.
I do… each and every week
Sleep With Someone New… My Mother!*
*mother not included, this DOES affect your human rights by nullifying them all. Apply within. muhahahaaaa…oh don’t read that last bit…and that…and that…and that
This is the Acclaim Hotel in Calgary. I just booked three nights there..lol
My father is a swinger too.
This is a Win!
100 % WIN!
WIN.