I dont think so, thats not what most signs say nowadays. Anyways, i wonder what conclusion he came to before running at the door. Maybe it was a movie theatre and he tried dashing so he could make it to station 10 and a half.
I wonder what conclusion he came to before running at the door. Maybe it was a movie theatre and he tried dashing into it because he wanted to go slow mo.
lmao XD platform 9-3/4
did u guys noticed that he watched that no1 is watching him? I guess he really wanted.
but he just wasnt able because he got filmed.
Okay, what I want to know, is how he got in the building in the 1st place? Did he come in a side door? and in that event, why not just go back out that one? Arg. I guess that’s why it’s a fail. Haha
Wow, that’s three of this type today.
What did we do to encourage this derision?
Maybe if i squeezed it…..?
Nah, nevermind. It would probably pop like an oozing pimple.
FFS if you guys wanna talk to eachother do it somewhere else.
You take the point of having the ‘comments’ section here when you only talk about crap instead of saying something about the video.
Let me get this straight. People who come here once in a freakin’ blue moon want those of us who post here every day to go away and make room for them? It doesn’t make sense.
If YOU are not part of this little community and YOU don’t like the way this little community runs itself, YOU don’t have to visit, and YOU certainly don’t have to stay. In fact, if you’re not willing to play nicely with others, we don’t want YOU here.
i’d like to take the site of them who post here every day. i discovered this site a few days ago and was very impressed by this group of a few people who seems to be a nice and friendly community, chatting with each other in a caring and loving manner AND also in a very funny way about the fails and i enjoyed it so much, that i like to just read their nice comments for each other and to take part (a bit) in the funny parts.
it is possible to not destroy their community and to talk about the fails on the other hand (therefor there are the different comment paths or not?). so don’t overreact kairus and talk on topic if you want to, and maybe you have to scroll down a bit to do that, but so what? they didn’t harm you!
ps i hope my english isn’t to bad, but i guess you got the point…
Hi lottofee
Thanks for the very nice post. We goof around and it’s all in good fun. We are good friends here. And it’s a remarkably diverse community. We have all kinds of people from many different diverse cultures. But we all have more in common than we have differences. Stop by again and say “hi”!
Thanks, lottofee. I’ve been trying to capture the spirit of our community in a piece I’m writing and found your observation and point of view most helpful.
Yeah, I kind of gave Mal the tip jar for his law school tuition. We’d have to start a new collection, and something that nice doesn’t come cheap! Thanks, Lottofee!
I kind of have to agree with the asshole. I would come here to see funny comments about the video, or to find out random facts about the video (like “this is in such-and-such building in this city”) but there are very few. I’d post here but nobody else is talking about the video itself. It’s a few people having random side comments that have nothing to do with anything.
But, of course, the intelligence level is about 10000x that of YouTube posters.
you’re welcome folks.
i hope beeing squeezed by a dragon doesn’t hurt that much
i have to admit i understand the haters too a bit, because for everyone outside that little community the comments related to the fail are the interesting ones and sometimes they are hard to find in this big amounts of comment paths. but i think it depends on the quality of the fail. sometimes nearly all the upper comments are about the fail (i remember laughing realy hard reading the geography fail a few days ago), but i think only if it is a fail which is new to you guys, or interesting or whatever…
so i can see the problem, but i’m sure the solution is in realy using the different comment paths and in cooling down
I just look for the long comments when I’m trying to find something seriously discussing the fail. Either the long ones or the ones at the end.
I think it’s fine that the comments are more of a logged chat but it would be nice if there were a separate set of comments for serious discussion. Either way, failblog rocks.
Nightshayde is to say the least – idiot. Why do you thing we who comment ‘once in a full moon’ do that? If you were smart enough you’d understand that that only happens because you guys keep on playing like 5 year old here. *looks* *dies* *makes a really stupid thing* *replies in a really stupid manner* ffs, that’s just annoying and I don’t care If I’m one of the douchebags or whatever you want to call that makes the same type of comment, it’s true and it’s annoying. It’s not because you make those kind of comment that you’re a better ‘viewer’ or whatever you want to call it than me, I’ve been coming here as long or maybe longer than some of you and not making a *turns into a banana* comment that I have less rights. Just talk about the freaking video and get on with your lives…
And here is that little Chiwaawaa dog from yesterday’s failed rescue mission over at ICHC… He was rejected in favor of a hunkier rescue dog and he really needs some validation right now …
Mr. Chiwaawaa (I can never spell it right — so you guys get the LOL version too!) rescue doggy wags his tail and jumps into Judy’s lap — licking her face furiously …. (maybe you should have been a little neater at the BBQ Judy baby!!)
What is your person’s name? Does (s)he object to you cunningly hiding things on him (her)? What other objects has your person been able to hide for you?
Clearly he just wanted some lawsuit out of this. Notice how he waits for no one else to be around and continues to looks around to ensure that no one else is watching before starting through the doors. Also notice how he runs full force with his head down into the doors. Clearly he did not trip as his head was angled down like a bull before he even stepped forward, so as to brace for the impact. Then after the incident, he sticks around to hold his head and mope to the security personnel
Yes, clearly he was trying to make a quick buck from a lawsuit. This is a FAIL for not noticing the security camera, and a FAIL to whoever posted the video for thinking he didn’t understand how to use a door.
Think on through to the other side of Suzie’s comment, C.C.
(… and “Walking on Broken Glass” was done by Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics … and it’s spelled “Chimaira”)
I was going more for (possibly already mentioned) he’s trying to get to Hogwarts. Possibly mistaken the glass door for Platform 9 3/4…
-
But yours made me LOL.
I guess we can enjoy each other’s company while we sit in shame in the pun-run-breaker-post-the-same-old-joke-didn’t-refresh-gender-confuser corner. I’m sorry!! *sob!*
*squeeze*
*flies up to a safe perch so as not to get trampled by Leila in her quest for chocolate cake*
Is it ok if I perch here on your shoulder, Dragon? It’ll just be for a few minutes.
Why would one attempt that? Exactly. HE stands here for a while, going thru his folder, reading his notes (“door opening 101″ I presume), people walk by but he doesn’t ask them, and then he just rams the thing.
If you press the Ignore Button, whoever you are ignoring goes *POOF*!! Gone! You can adjust the level of *POOF* too. Also, you can torture them with some GLARING actiong before you POOF them.
*presses button*
*waits for patented glaring action to warm up*
*points at boss*
PPPPOOOOOFFFFF
Hey, it worked! Thanks, Leila!
*looks for something/someone else to try it on*
No, he actually out-stupid’d that.
He stood agape at the mysterious glass wall in front of him, consulted some sort of manual stashed in his folder, and went on to _run his head through it_, stopping two steps out the door, likely due mostly to his massive head wound.
I’d expect neither creature to have much to begin with, let alone to leave behind. In fact I typically eat troll “brains” only for show, troll heads are actually filled with … um … fertilizer.
Hmmm, maybe so, but it’s the kind that only grows weeds. The (fertilizer) company I work for already looked into and rejected the idea of using troll “brains” as a supply for our customers.
Oh my, no that’s not what I meant. I was trying to find the polite way to say they have sh!t for brains, I didn’t mean they were actually good for anything.
What the?!?! There was definitely something else going on there… dude looks dazed and confused from the start. I just refuse to believe there are this stupid out there. I must have hope in humanity…. must .. have..
And if you’re from the USA or Europe, try to figure out a Japanese toilet. Some of them have a control panel like the dashboard of a 747. Various heaters for seat and washlet spray, adjustments for spray angle and intensity, air blowers, you name it.
There’s a lot of floor-level toilets around the world, in Russia too (in public toilets mainly). They’re metal\enamel (like baths) or ceramic, can flush and have non-slip strips for feet. Nothing special.
TADA! Ms. nightshayde wins not only ten internets and a cookie, but an original copy of “The Partridge Family Songbook”, autographed by David Cassidy!
*applause deafens the room*
When jim saw no handle on the door he knew racist whites or Chinese had created it. It was too hard for the people in the community to use and so he destroyed it.
Well, this looks like a good place for the Monday BBQ. I’ve got burger patties with all the fixin’s, including cheez for those of you of the kitteh persuasion! Fire up the grill for me, Dragon?
Now now … no need to go around threatening and blackmailing and what not. Lucky for you Badger we didn’t put you on the bbq. I have to go find another animal now.
YUM — Cheese burgers — and salad… just right for a Monday lunch!! Are we sending Leila’s up to her on the 10th floor or did she find her way out over the troll brains?
*Brings in Chocolate Mousse, and Bread pudding with Rum sauce*
I think I owe some people from this weekend, but there’s plenty for everyone to enjoy.
Happy Monday!
OMGOMGOMG!!!! Thank you!
*kisses Scott’s feet*
I would KILL for that bread pudding with rum sauce!
I’m normally not big on desserts, but I make an exception for bread pudding!!
*grabs 3 heaping platefuls*
*noms down hungrily*
Scott, whatever you do, DO NOT tell Brewski where you live. One day you’ll come home to a bunch of ingredients on your counter and Brewski sitting there in the dark with a hungry gleam in his eyes.
Meh, they already know they can crack a good ale and I’ll come running. I can sniff out a Chimay Bleue at a 1/4 mile, provide the wind isn’t blowing the wrong way.
Ruben, if you ignore the racist, someone will sooner or later write to Emily and she’ll remove the comment. She’s awesome like that. Now it just looks like you’re yelling at nothing.
I usually obey our “do not reply to trolls” rule, however I could not pass up the opportunity to point out that neither you nor Laura have made a comment related to the fail. So, lets take a count here:
902 comments
875 roleplay horneychat
2 idiots complaining
*woke up early (for me) today to get all the cleaning done*
No, I didn’t have a party. They have floofy furballs that shed like mad. They hate the vacuum cleaner, and I hate it too!
Beer? I’ve been too busy doing roleplay horneychat to drink beer!
*dresses as Zorro*
*slices off Ms B’s clothing with a swift Z-stroke of his sword*
See?
There are A LOT of U.S. people doing things even more stupid, and more frequently; there are a lot of retrograde minds and with no culture, that is why they offend non U.S. people (or even non caucasian) whenever they have the opportunity… seriusly… >_<
Man that has got to sting! He uses his knee as a table and his head as a battering ram. What made the guy run through the glass so fast anyways? That’s the kind of guy you want playing football. Seriously maybe they were towing his car away outside.
he entered the building but doesn’t know how to get out of it again? XD
If it was another…normal…door, he should have used THAT and not try to force his way out XD
And I think he was maybe too proud to ask any one?
Thank you for your comment. It has been duly noted. We will provide a detailed, thoughtful response at such time that frozen precipitation is forecast in Hades. Have a nice day.
I really don’t understand this one. I’m trying to go through the mental process that would take someone to the point of saying, “F*ck it, I’m just going to run though this pane of glass.” Maybe the door was open when he walked in, so he assumed it would be open when he went to leave. He returns to find a glass wall where a door was and perhaps he feels trapped. He checks his papers to see if there’s any reason or warning that he won’t be able to leave the way he entered, finds nothing and doesn’t know what to do. Still, why wouldn’t he approach it and make sure before barreling through. I think my empathy is wasted much of the time.
I don’t think he searched something in the papers, he just wanted to hide his hesitation and pretended that he’s somehow busy and maybe hoped that someone else would go through the door.
That is funny – I was just thinking that it seems like they are sending all their items to me twice, but you are right – I’m seeing it on CH first, then here.
(“Engineer”, btw, shares the same etymological root as “ingenious” — but the guy in the vid appears to be the kind of engineer who’s found a route away from that root.)
ok, I have to admit, I’ve done something simmilar. I guess it might be worse, because I did know how the door worked.
When I used to work at Lowe’s (I love saying that…the used to part) I was walking by the glass sliding door once and I saw my friend outside. I was so excited to see them that I ran to go out the door. It opened most of the way, but I still ran into the edge and popped it off the swing hinge. I am laughing so hard at myself right now! *snork* It was great, because when I got out there, my friend was looking at me like she was afraid of me and there were customers too. wow!
True story.
Friends and I were walking along the sidewalk when we heard a horn honk, looked behind us, and saw another friend approaching in a vehicle. I stepped toward the road a bit, waved, turned my head back around to continue walking, and THWACK! ran right into a sign.
The sign? “Stop Ahead.”
When I was in high school, I didn’t want to wear my glasses. I thought they were geeky. So I would just not wear them. Problem is, I’m pretty much as blind as a bat. So, I was walking out of a store when I saw a reallllly cute guy. I turned to look at him…did the little flirty thing…and then turned back around to go on my way when *WHAM!!!* Right into a pole.
The pole was painted bright red, btw. I totally didn’t see it.
Walking about, a pole ran into me when a friend of mine alerted me that the cute neighborhood kid was checking me out. I landed on my ass. I’ve never been so mortified.
I’ve been on television a few times. Once, though, was for a local news network in San Francisco when I hadn’t realized they were filming me. I was pictured leaning against a light pole downtown –I was outside a used bookstore, waiting for it to open.
I saw the footage of me that evening on the news — and there I was, leaning up against pole.
It was a story on male prostitution in downtown San Francisco.
*rofl*
Another true story:
My 2 brothers, mom and dad were all preparing for a major car/camping vacation to the Grand Canyon. It was morning, and we were carrying all the last-minute supplies out the front door and loading the car. I was 10 yrs old, give or take. We had a glass screen door. I was going toward the door right after my brother. The door was swinging shut. I sprinted full-speed to catch it before it latched. I put my arms straight out in front of me. Right before I got there: “click”.
I crashed through the door glass and landed on the deck in a pile of broken glass.
We got a late start on that trip.
A similar thing happened to me Fuzz. Seattle was being whacked by a snow storm and I had to go to work. There was a good chance that I would be stuck there so I stuffed some this and thats into a pack. Got out of my car and trudged the few yards to the building entrance. A couple of hours later I’m getting calls from laughing relatives. According to a news crew I was now a homeless wanderer of the streets. They had to see me get out of my car.
Once, when I was in high school, a really cute girl was distracted by another guy, and when she turned around she ran right into me. *WHAM!!* And, even though I was kind of skinny, I was wearing a bright red shirt.
Observed event downtown: A blonde stunner was walking on the other side of the street. She was wearing a t-shirt cut up to here. Her primary upper torso curves went down to there. There was a slight breeze to boot. A guy passes her and admires. He keeps walking and admiring and turning his head like an owl. WHAM! Right into a light pole.
At my church they had replaced the heavy wooden doors with new glass ones while I was away at college. Stopping by one night to visit my old choir, I think, I went to enter, and did not realize that the seemingly “open door” on the right was actually a full-length glass pane. *Facedoor*
I did something similar on a date once. We spent several hours in the restaurant, having dinner and drinks. It was probably the best date I’ve been on. As we were leaving I was walking turned to the side and slightly back because she was a little behind me. I ran face first into a stop sign. It knocked me completely on my ass. I think she was more embarrassed than I was…
Sure; my wife walks in just as I finish reading this thread and sees me red-faced and roffling. Maybe now she’ll understand why I read this all the time now…
lawsuit.. why else would he ram through the door? people do anything to sue for money..
have you ever ran and “rammed” your head to get out of a door? automatic or otherwise…
1.- You open the refrigerator and get the cold water jug.
2.- You pour the cold water into the sink.
3.- You pour 100 C Water in a ~3 C jug.
4.- The whole thing exploded and you scream “Oh my god!!!”
Disgusting. Only thing that will clean this is burning it.
*Brings out rubbing alcohol and matches*
Good thing I acted now, and we have this extra one.
So you don’t want any pie eh? Well take THIS!
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609…
My sweetie has never even tried pie. At first it was just because he had never had the chance, but now he’s convinced he wouldn’t like it, so he won’t even try. Not fruit pies, or cream pies, or even meat pies. It’s insane! I love pie.
I have issues with fruit goop. I will make an exception for Apple Pie fruit goop (especially if they’re Granny Smith apples) — but red or purple fruit goop turns my stomach.
♫ Everyone reaching for a piece of the pie.
Maybe they’re serving pie in the sky.
‘I’m gonna be famous, maybe be rich…’
Even it makes me a bastard or a bitch.
CHORUS:
Blueberry, strawberry, apple a la mode,
Boysenberry, cherry, with a scoop of Rocky Road.
Blackberry, rhubarb, lemon meringue
Chocolate, pecan, Key Lime with a tang. ♫
I like the guy who does the “over his head” thing to the camera that was funny, just shows that not everyone in the world grows up in a place with technology that we take for granted.
What was he thinking?? Why would he run into a pane of glass, even if he didn’t understand the concept of an automatic door? I think this deserves and EPIC fail! ☺
(Way OT)
*Cough, cough*
Toaster oven fail. I just burned two peices of bread into little black chunks of charcoal. My whole store is full of smoke. Blech.
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern.”
~ William Blake
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow ch!nks of his cavern.”
~ William Blake
Yeah, Blake would approve of posts multiplying:
.
“Abstinence sows sand all over
The ruddy limbs & flaming hair,
But Desire Gratified
Plants fruits & beauty there.”
Seems he saw the door closing at the start, and then when he walked close by (but not close enough) and the door didn’t open, he thought it wouldn’t open.
Surprises me the first thing he tries is ramming through it, though. I would definitely first try to move closer (which would solve his problems) and try to move the door with my hands. If it still won’t budge, then I’d go get help. But ramming through the door will definitely be my very last option XD
The best part is how much time he spends contemplating what he should do with the situation. Its sad that the best answer he can come up with is to ram it with the top of his head.
I wonder why he never thought to touch the door or feel around. He was watching it like it was a pack of animals surrounding his camp site. In fact he charged at it like it was all or nothing. Poor fool
there was a young man from Darjeeling
Who travelled from London to Ealing,
Where a sign on the door
Said “Don’t piss on the floor”
So he carefully pissed on the ceiling.
I just read both of those cold to my family; as they had no idea what I was reading, please imagine receiving their astonished laughter! (Besides mine, I mean.) Bravo!
Why did he stick around after? I think that if I just ran head first thru a glass door, I would keep going and hope that no one can identify me.
*belated squeeze for all the regulars*
^actually, I see it now. This IS one small battle within the larger war of Islam vs. Modernity. Score 1 for Islam, poor little door didn’t stand a chance against Mohamed.
I’m sure you already know this, but, actually, what we see is that you are an idiot. Do you know any algebra, or is it too advanced for you? “Algebra” is an Arabic word.
There would be no Western “modernity” without Islam. The Western European Renaissance was in large measure spurred by European’s contacts with the more advanced mathematics, philosophy, and science of the Islamic world.
And, “hand to God,” what some Muslims oppose in “modern” Western culture is the fact that we so often put material gain and profit above quality of life issues and ethical sensitivities.
One Iranian asked not long ago why many in his society disliked American culture, for example, answered, “Because you do not go home to your families for lunch.” It may sound absurd, but there is a powerful wisdom there that many of us in the West are totally insensitive to.
Things that are not funny are…well…not funny. Next!
I’d like to sincerely thank everyone for participating in today’s Homo(u)r 101 Seminar. I hope you learned something worthwhile to share with your family, friends, and community. Your instructor is very proud of you all.
Yeah, well, it’s a pity that over all that spurring the European Renaissance (do you mean the one of the 12th century? you can’t mean “the” Renaissance in the 15th-18th century), they forgot to evolve themselves.
No, seriously, I’m not going to dissect your argumentation to discuss where I find it tendential or questionable, as it isn’t fundamentally wrong. I’ll just say that I find it overall pointless in that no one argued the role of the Islam (we’re talking culture here, not religion) 700 years ago. The Islam *of today* hasn’t evolved a great deal in centuries and is in many ways an archaic culture reminiscent of the dark ages.
Plus gmc360 obviously referred to the Islamic religion. Or confused it with Islamic culture. Or whatever. He made a joke about guys he probably doesn’t like. Which might have less to do with good ol’ arrogant Americocentricism and more with the problem that the Islam doesn’t exactly do its best to be likeable.
I agree, and I think the original comment, while fairly crude, isn’t far off the mark. The Islamic world slid far back down the slope of progress after their days as the custodians of Western culture. Denying this fact is pointless.
I just had to interject because, despite being a fundamentalist athiest, I’m not prejudiced against any particular religion; they all deserve the same scrutiny and ridicule. Let’s face it, ‘the terrorists’ haven’t done the best for the cause of showing Islam’s shining glory, but they’ve brought attention to their plight – based in genuine human rights issues – and this kind of ‘terrorism’ has throughout history been one of the few avenues for resolution or even recognition of real and consistent human suffering and opression.
Just because all Muslims are terrorists doesn’t mean we should forget that all Christians rape children and the Jews undermine any hope of unity or equality in the world to promote their selfish greed with Scientology clumsily emulating in tow. And I’m sorry if you’re a part of a religion not represented by this list. I’m sure you’re just as mindlessly indocrinated and willing to die for your cause despite pretty much all of your prophets and dieties saying not to.
You do needa get your crew some air time by killing some civilians, though.
I’m going to make popcorn. Saw a recipe on-line yesterday for “Bacon Popcorn”. Pops on the stove, but uses bacon grease instead of oil. The only way to make it better would be to add cheese. That would be three of my favorite food groups – bacon, cheese and popcorn. Not sure my cholesterol count could take it, though.
Just going for regular low-fat micro 2-night.
Well, I thought of that, and then considered: what would a 14-year-old want more for his birthday than that? Maybe they’d find you one that failed to strip.
Happeh B-day, Qwaz my friend. Let us bring out teh lawn chairs, cake, and beer. The strippers will come of their own accord. w00t!
*Puts party helmet on*
*Birthday squeeze for Qwaz*
*Master Quest Crown squeeze for Alice*
Professional speed runs just say that you must make it from the very beginning of the game to the very end, no full completion, as fast as possible, by only using the game. No Game Shark. That means that glitches and warp zones are legal. Full completion speed runs are a whole different category, and while I have made full completion on every game I’ve played, I don’t have the knowledge to remember the everything and the fastest path to it.
Did I mention that except for the new Mothership Zeta Download (Which I will be purchasing in the next week or so) I have full completion of our Favorite Wasteland game, Fallout 3?
Qwaz: How is it? Many critics on teh interwebz didn’t like it.
Coyote: Brawl’s single player starts to suck. You think it’s cool until you get to Subspace. Then you realize you have to go through all of the levels! Again! And it’s even harder this time.
Qwaz: Can you hold your own on Halo 3? I tried, but that place is brutal. I can barely make it out of Combat Arms or Battlefield 2142 with a positive K/D.
Captain: Fallout is the most amazing game I’ve ever played and I don’t know what the critics are talking about.
As for Halo 3, There are very few new players now that the game is 2 years old, so being given a fair game is not likely. If you’re going to play online I suggest you practice skills on a social playlist then move to ranked. No point in having a bad ranking just because you’re inexperienced.
Qwaz: I meant the Mothership Zeta DLC
Coyote: I am just not good with slow people, especially since most of the slow people seem like their attack range got cut shorter than it was in Melee. Slow just doesn’t seem to fit Super Smash Bros. My only slow Jam is Solid Snake, especially in multiplayer. Trap setting is a strategy that fits me.
Dead last.
Tied for first loser.
These doors just won’t understand :C
He didn’t saw the glas ! It was too clean !
omfg, he probably read that he was supposed to go straight against the door, what the hell made him think that he had to run, freakin retard
The guy is a sliding door salesman. He was just drumming up some trade.
So, I guess he was told that he was supposed to go through them… not through them.
Maybe he thought he can go through things!
WHAT THE F? HOW DID HE DO THAT?? WE LOVE YOU DAVID BLANE!
CNN so totally stole this vid…
Woot bull WIN!!!!!
i’m such a freak, because my first thot was that he had really good balance, standing on one foot like that… C:
Maybe he thought it was like Harry Potter!
I dont think so, thats not what most signs say nowadays. Anyways, i wonder what conclusion he came to before running at the door. Maybe it was a movie theatre and he tried dashing so he could make it to station 10 and a half.
9 and three quarters.
I wonder what conclusion he came to before running at the door. Maybe it was a movie theatre and he tried dashing into it because he wanted to go slow mo.
yo, you fail at editing your comments lawl
This should have been called “cameras disproving lawsuit fail.”
He is searching for Platform 9-3/4
XD
WIN.
Dude, I think I just peed a little. Hilarious!
nasty, shawn we did not need to know that icky.
Or so You’d Like US To Think, You Digusting Fart-Joke Luvin’ Sikko!
xDDD ! And the best comment award goes to………
VELVET !
roflmao
this ie the best explanation
I was thinking that too!!
LOLS! comment win win win.
Finally an explanation that makes sense!
lmao XD platform 9-3/4
did u guys noticed that he watched that no1 is watching him? I guess he really wanted.
but he just wasnt able because he got filmed.
The power of Windex!
the power of WIN-DECKS, or platform.
They must use Industrial Strength Windex
Okay, what I want to know, is how he got in the building in the 1st place? Did he come in a side door? and in that event, why not just go back out that one? Arg. I guess that’s why it’s a fail. Haha
He was always there.
They built the building around him.
Then one day he decided to go out
of his mind.
♫He came in through the (bathroom) window…♪
“back there in pakistan…we do it this way.. “…
some habits.. die hard.
RAMMING SPEED!
Activate the forward cannons!
What is he doing?? OMG…Intelligence fail…
Maybe it is foreign to him. I’ve been stuck at work for the past 10 years because I don’t know how to operate the huge revolving door.
No wonder you have to rely on clones to run your errands with Malicite.
*giggle*
Save me!!!!
*lips quiver*
He never gave her back. I think Malicite killed my clone.
I bet she died happy, though.
I certainly hope so Lurk.
*sob* lest we forget
I would save you but … I don’t know how to get in!
*stares at revolving door*
*is thwarted*
Use your head to RAM into it … I think.
Hmmm. I’m pretty sure I heard on FailBlog that trying to break through the door with my head would be a bad idea.
Ooooh – I have an idea!
*picks up a troll & uses it as a battering ram on the door*
Be careful as you walk out, Leila. There’s some broken glass here…
YAY!!!!
Oh..uh. GAH!!!! Troll brains … ew!!!
*tippy toes around broken glass*
*…freezes. Afraid to step out*
*runs back up to the 10th floor*
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
WOW – ran up to the 10th floor — you are in good shape!!
Here, let me put Mal coat on the floor over the brains — now you can get outside —
Go Leila … Be Free!!
Finds an ’s in the bottom of my purse — tosses it up onto the ens of “Mal” –
Argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……
*deep breath*
Switches ens with end …
*deep breath*
Haven’t been outside in a long time. I think I will just sit here and wait if you don’t mind.
Wait for what????? Someone who can type?
ROFL!!!
Maybe I developed a serious case of agorophobia?
*emails Emily*
Wow, Sixkiller forgot to eat his/her/its wheaties today. Sad.
*pushes Sixkiler in a boiling vat of BaconLube along with some troll remains*
The irony is strong with this one…
Since English is obviously not your mother tongue I shall keep this simple Sixkiller. Leave.
By the by, I’ve told Sonny about your using his family name and he is pissed.
Wow, that’s three of this type today.
What did we do to encourage this derision?
Maybe if i squeezed it…..?
Nah, nevermind. It would probably pop like an oozing pimple.
He’ll be gone soon. Very gone.
HAH!!! He was there just before I posted, and NOT there just after! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
*squeezes Emily*
I have got to stop responding to troll posts. I should know better.
*puts head on desk and weeps*
Wow, I missed it entirely! Well, maybe missed is not the right word.
Definitely not the right word. “Escaped” might be better…
FFS if you guys wanna talk to eachother do it somewhere else.
You take the point of having the ‘comments’ section here when you only talk about crap instead of saying something about the video.
God you guys are annoying.
We don’t Kair.
-Us
What’s with all of the fools cropping up today?
We need a Failpeeps button. Whenever I try to be friendly and put a link to the website, so as to clue in the clueless, I get moderated.
I thought the camerawork and lighting was excellent.
Let me get this straight. People who come here once in a freakin’ blue moon want those of us who post here every day to go away and make room for them?
It doesn’t make sense.
If YOU are not part of this little community and YOU don’t like the way this little community runs itself, YOU don’t have to visit, and YOU certainly don’t have to stay. In fact, if you’re not willing to play nicely with others, we don’t want YOU here.
*throws rotting vegetables at the mean people*
i’d like to take the site of them who post here every day. i discovered this site a few days ago and was very impressed by this group of a few people who seems to be a nice and friendly community, chatting with each other in a caring and loving manner AND also in a very funny way about the fails and i enjoyed it so much, that i like to just read their nice comments for each other and to take part (a bit) in the funny parts.
it is possible to not destroy their community and to talk about the fails on the other hand (therefor there are the different comment paths or not?). so don’t overreact kairus and talk on topic if you want to, and maybe you have to scroll down a bit to do that, but so what? they didn’t harm you!
ps i hope my english isn’t to bad, but i guess you got the point…
*squeezes lottofee*
It was just perfect. Thank you.
And coyote…leave off the h t t p : / / part, or put spaces in between. Then your post won’t get moderated and the link will show.
Hi lottofee
Thanks for the very nice post. We goof around and it’s all in good fun. We are good friends here. And it’s a remarkably diverse community. We have all kinds of people from many different diverse cultures. But we all have more in common than we have differences. Stop by again and say “hi”!
Thanks, lottofee. I’ve been trying to capture the spirit of our community in a piece I’m writing and found your observation and point of view most helpful.
Ditto!! Welcome, lottofee.
You’re not going to charge us for that nice comment, are you???
Yeah, I kind of gave Mal the tip jar for his law school tuition. We’d have to start a new collection, and something that nice doesn’t come cheap! Thanks, Lottofee!
I kind of have to agree with the asshole. I would come here to see funny comments about the video, or to find out random facts about the video (like “this is in such-and-such building in this city”) but there are very few. I’d post here but nobody else is talking about the video itself. It’s a few people having random side comments that have nothing to do with anything.
But, of course, the intelligence level is about 10000x that of YouTube posters.
guys, i just wanna know can i eat the rotten veggies?
you’re welcome folks.
i hope beeing squeezed by a dragon doesn’t hurt that much
i have to admit i understand the haters too a bit, because for everyone outside that little community the comments related to the fail are the interesting ones and sometimes they are hard to find in this big amounts of comment paths. but i think it depends on the quality of the fail. sometimes nearly all the upper comments are about the fail (i remember laughing realy hard reading the geography fail a few days ago), but i think only if it is a fail which is new to you guys, or interesting or whatever…
so i can see the problem, but i’m sure the solution is in realy using the different comment paths and in cooling down
I just look for the long comments when I’m trying to find something seriously discussing the fail. Either the long ones or the ones at the end.
I think it’s fine that the comments are more of a logged chat but it would be nice if there were a separate set of comments for serious discussion. Either way, failblog rocks.
Nightshayde is to say the least – idiot. Why do you thing we who comment ‘once in a full moon’ do that? If you were smart enough you’d understand that that only happens because you guys keep on playing like 5 year old here. *looks* *dies* *makes a really stupid thing* *replies in a really stupid manner* ffs, that’s just annoying and I don’t care If I’m one of the douchebags or whatever you want to call that makes the same type of comment, it’s true and it’s annoying. It’s not because you make those kind of comment that you’re a better ‘viewer’ or whatever you want to call it than me, I’ve been coming here as long or maybe longer than some of you and not making a *turns into a banana* comment that I have less rights. Just talk about the freaking video and get on with your lives…
I’d hate to say this Leila, but you just failed….Troll brains….
Damnation, my comment’s been moderated… well as a previous fail has told us, breaking through revolving doors is not recommended:
http://failblog.org/2008/08/28/revolving-door-fail
Here’s another one that may look familiar:
failblog.org/2009/03/12/window-washing-fail/
Looks like my job is done.
You poor thing…
*ponders rescue mission for Leila*
*realizes needs rescue crew*
*Volunteers for rescue crew*
And here is that little Chiwaawaa dog from yesterday’s failed rescue mission over at ICHC… He was rejected in favor of a hunkier rescue dog and he really needs some validation right now …
*pets the puppy*
Poor lil chi…chiu…doggy.
Mr. Chiwaawaa (I can never spell it right — so you guys get the LOL version too!) rescue doggy wags his tail and jumps into Judy’s lap — licking her face furiously …. (maybe you should have been a little neater at the BBQ Judy baby!!)
I love a juicy cheezburger! If it ain’t drippin’, I ain’t tippin’!
Is…that what they’re calling it these days??
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Judy likes the greasy spoon.
YOU GUYSSSSSS! You’re so bad!
(Luv ya anyway! *juicy, greasy squeeze*)
*grabs some buns to soak up the grease*
I’m not bad…I’m just drawn that way.
That’s right, my dear. I’d love to embrace you, then dip you in honey butter.
Ghee whiz! I KNEW you’d get it!!
*exitsthreadwithaquickness*
That’s our SOP.
*attaches piece of chocolate cake to doggy’s back*
*gives doggy Leila’s scent*
Go find her, boy!!!! The chocolate outta lure her out!!!
I got stuck on a broken escalator for over an hour one time.
I was stuck with 12 other women. All women for almost 40 minutes. *shudders*
On an escalator???
I forgot to put elevator in my comment. hahah!!!
That’s nothing, MRN. I was once stuck on a broken moving sidewalk at the airport for 3 whole hours! I missed my flight!
You’re lucky you missed that plane. It was a nonstop flight. You’d still be up there!
*snerk* *roffle*
I’m so happy to have found these people…aren’t you, nightshayde??
*squeeeeze!*
I love this place!
*squeezes failfriends*
*hugs Avis squeezing failfriends*
*Slips in for a late-night squeeze*
*morning squeeze*
Thirteen of you and no one had a unicycle?
What are the odds of that? I bet one had a unicycle cunningly concealed on their person. I know I do
What is your person’s name? Does (s)he object to you cunningly hiding things on him (her)? What other objects has your person been able to hide for you?
I would tell you, but the KGB’s monitoring this website
*shifty eyes*
vive la revolution comrades
Was that how long it took the rescue crew to pull you out of the broken railing??
Maybe someone wrote ‘PUSH’ on the inside of the doors
Holy shit its a door, let me take care of this.. Leeroooooy Jeeeekiiins!
*gets reference* ROFL!
*doesn’t*
*wanders away confuzzled, but happy*
oh, Judy, it’s worth seeing, just google Leeroy Jenkins video…it’s a youtube vid. you will LYAO!!! well, that is if you’ve ever dabbled in MMORPGs
*hazn’t evah dabbled, but haz kids anna g’kid that duz*
And now for a more important question. How the [expletive deleted] did Eduardo’s comment not get moderated?
It would be religious discrimination, or are you not aware of the First Holy Church of the Sacred Poo?
*snerk*
Clearly he just wanted some lawsuit out of this. Notice how he waits for no one else to be around and continues to looks around to ensure that no one else is watching before starting through the doors. Also notice how he runs full force with his head down into the doors. Clearly he did not trip as his head was angled down like a bull before he even stepped forward, so as to brace for the impact. Then after the incident, he sticks around to hold his head and mope to the security personnel
Yes, clearly he was trying to make a quick buck from a lawsuit. This is a FAIL for not noticing the security camera, and a FAIL to whoever posted the video for thinking he didn’t understand how to use a door.
This guy really did break on through to the other side.
♪ Walking on broken glass… ♪
I’m beginning to think “The Doors” should become the official FailBlog house band.
I don’t think that was a reference to The Doors.
Think maybe Chimera?
Think on through to the other side of Suzie’s comment, C.C.
(… and “Walking on Broken Glass” was done by Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics … and it’s spelled “Chimaira”)
Except we couldn’t afford The Doors. We could hire some look a like immigrants, all called Juan.
How Bou’t This Brewski? “The Fails”
What a pane!
Missed his window of opportunity by this much!
I bet he’s just shattered.
His vision wasn’t quite crystal clear.
He couldn’t see through his pane.
When God closes a door, some middle-eastern guy rams his head through it.
At least now maybe he’ll know whether …
♪ Love and hope and sex and dreams
Are still surviving on the street ♪
… if he survives being in tatters.
♫Ahhh, look at me, I’m a shattered, I’m a shattered.
Look at me- I’m a shattered♪
My brain’s been splattered. Splattered all over Manhattan.
*tries giving away pieces of Brewski’s brain on 7th avenue*
*tries to scalp some of the, um, scalp to Zombie Apoplexy*
brains and eggs anyone?
are the eggs green? and could i have some ham?
In taters? Another vicar reference?
*snork*
♪ Once you know you can never go back ♪
♪ I gotta take it on the other side ♪
I was going more for (possibly already mentioned) he’s trying to get to Hogwarts. Possibly mistaken the glass door for Platform 9 3/4…
-
But yours made me LOL.
*snicker*
That explains his running at the doors.
There’s just so many times I can use
♪ Break on through to the other side ♪
on these videos.
…and this was not one of them. (That’s twice today I’ve been beaten.)
Awww, MRN. You been Jinxed.
MRN! MRN!!
*stops beating MRN*
Sowwy.
*hangs head in shame*
Hey! I never said I wasn’t enjoying it!
I was enjoying it
Me Nether!
Oh, we’re not beating today?
*puts away whip*
Darn.
♪ Whip it good… ♪
… butter whip
…whipped cream.
Cool hwip.
inverted cream?
Hwat are you talking aboot?
Why do you put so much emphasis on the H?
You spelled Hwy wrong.
Hwrong whey.
Whey Cool.
Stargate? lol
Glassgate.
Someone may need a pardon from a WaterFord.
nipplegate?
He was trying to make it to platform 9 3/4.
He forgot his luggage cart.
Silly Muggles.
lmao
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Should have used Floo
I hear Thestral riding is nice this time of year.
maybe this was recorded inside hogwarts, so he couldn’t apparate…
Lolwut?
was he trying to do that? it looked like he waited until no one was around. maybe he wanted a lawsuit.
Maybe he wanted to wear a glass suit.
Those who want glass suits must be stoned?
Well, clearly he was stoned.
It’s panefully obvious that he’s very headstrong.
… and brain weak … and skull cracked.
Plasticine porters with looking-glass ties.
.
Stoned people in glass suits should not throw houses. Or something like that.
He was doing his bit to remove the glass ceiling.
He even read the instructions on how to operate the door right out of the folder he had.
Sheeesh!!!
Pffft. Guys. They can’t even ask for directions when opening a door.
I redirect that remark!
But why would you use your head to get through a glass automatic door?? Talk about breaking through barriers…
That’s what I call using your head.
I wouldn’t want to be on an elevator with this guy.
Why not? I think it would be funny…
Guy 1: How do you open the doors?
Guy 2: I don’t know…use your head!
Guy 1: Oh…ok!
Guy 2 didn’t know either?
Poor man, he’s got a name worse than “Guy Jr.”
^ The names have been changed to protect the innocent, or in this case, to prevent udder, erm, utter humiliation…
Guy 3: You go through them…
It’s pretty sad when someone can’t figure out a door.
Perhaps he was “testing” the safety glass?
*is just guessing since she can’t see the video*
Honestly, I can’t figure out WHAT the hell was going through his head.
Oh, except for the sharp pieces of glass at the end, there.
“Hmm. It’s not opening. Maybe if I run really fast, I’ll just go through it, It must be a mirage. Ok, ready, 1, 2, 3, GO!”
*crash*
It’s like that really old lame joke.
“What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s mind as it hits your windshield?”
“Its ass.”
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
I know, I know, it’s like Deja Vu all over again!
:p
A local sports news anchor says that all the time here. I’m shocked no one has talked to him anout it yet.
Yes, Yes. “Anout.” Now that my rebellious keyboard has had it’s laugh we can move on.
Yogi Berra made anout some times.
What’s going through a bug’s head when he hits your windscreen?
The bug’s forehead?
ARGH!!!!! I could have read 1 post forward, but NO. I have to post the exact same joke 1 hour later.
Smooth move, Brewski.
*sits in corner*
*joins Brewski in corner*
Hi!!
I guess we can enjoy each other’s company while we sit in shame in the pun-run-breaker-post-the-same-old-joke-didn’t-refresh-gender-confuser corner. I’m sorry!! *sob!*
*squeeze*
Aw…poor Brewski. *offers shamwow for snot running down the nose*
You will learn and remember to refresh one of these days. *pat. pat*
*afraid to post “Aqualung” reference and have someone beat me to it*
You when this time, MRN!!
*kills self*
His backside, silly!
Your windscreen?
He waited until nobody was looking…he didn’t want to lose face in front of his peers.
Yah, it’s such a pane when that happens!
There you are, my sparkling companion!
Lemme guess. A guy walks through the wrong part of the door?
*is at her mothers house and using a laptop flatly refuses to play viddler videos*
^^ FailBlog FAIL ^^^
Excuse you?
*hands Avis an IGNORE button*
And a large piece of cake from the breakroom.
CAKE!!!!!!
Chocolate?
*flies up to a safe perch so as not to get trampled by Leila in her quest for chocolate cake*
Is it ok if I perch here on your shoulder, Dragon? It’ll just be for a few minutes.
LOL!!! I am just a sucker for chocolate. I will behave.
*salivating*
Well, of course! Just don’t get your wings tangled in my hair this time.
There is no excuse for me. Even so – was I out of line? Fail to recognize your own fail?
Man hesitates before a glass automatic door, then rams it with his head and breaks it.
Ah, thanks! But… ummmm… why would one attempt that? That seems… silly.
And Leila, does this thing work like an “Easy Button”?
Why would one attempt that? Exactly. HE stands here for a while, going thru his folder, reading his notes (“door opening 101″ I presume), people walk by but he doesn’t ask them, and then he just rams the thing.
If you press the Ignore Button, whoever you are ignoring goes *POOF*!! Gone! You can adjust the level of *POOF* too. Also, you can torture them with some GLARING actiong before you POOF them.
I was kinda hoping that a large amount of various shellacked fish would rain down on them first!
Then shellacked fish it is!
Go to it sista.
Will it work on my bullying, bull-headed, b*itch of a boss?
Nothing like a b*tch of a boss … male or female. Try it. If it doesn’t work, find another job.
Life is too short to put up with bosses like that.
*presses button*
*waits for patented glaring action to warm up*
*points at boss*
PPPPOOOOOFFFFF
Hey, it worked! Thanks, Leila!
*looks for something/someone else to try it on*
Glad I could help.
*points Ignore Button at annoying co-worker*
*points Ignore Button at thighs*
*points Ignore Button at slow drivers*
*gets in line to borrow button*
Can I have it too sometime?
I want to ignore the next four days.
*figures she’s had it long enough*
*hands Aja Ignore Button*
There ya go! Use it in good health!
Ooh thanks, but I believe coyote was first.
What the…?
*looks around sheepishly*
*pries Ignore Button from Aja’s white-knuckled hands*
Sorry about that, Coyote. Here you are!
No, he actually out-stupid’d that.
He stood agape at the mysterious glass wall in front of him, consulted some sort of manual stashed in his folder, and went on to _run his head through it_, stopping two steps out the door, likely due mostly to his massive head wound.
Bull win!
lol, why did he run through it?
to get to the chicken on the other side
Ha ha, good one.
You break it. You buy it.
Dude’s gonna have to buy his head.
Dude’s gonna have to buy the door too. That was one expensive egress!
Did you check out there on the sidewalk to see if a snack leaked out for you, ZA?
There are also brains by Leila’s builiding — NightShade rammed a troll thru the door so Leila could get out — but it made a mess …
I’d expect neither creature to have much to begin with, let alone to leave behind. In fact I typically eat troll “brains” only for show, troll heads are actually filled with … um … fertilizer.
Hmmm, maybe so, but it’s the kind that only grows weeds. The (fertilizer) company I work for already looked into and rejected the idea of using troll “brains” as a supply for our customers.
Oh my, no that’s not what I meant. I was trying to find the polite way to say they have sh!t for brains, I didn’t mean they were actually good for anything.
^ refuses refuse
“A terrible mind is a thing of waste.”
(I liked that one, fuzz!)
Brilliant!
Those darn new contraptions, like moving doors!
Did he trip? Or did he take a running start at the door? It looks like a running start…
Turns out the door was 2 panels down. That was a window he was trying to get through
It still opened. The thing two panels down was a lock they used to keep the door open.
Like this. (Clickie)
Epic explosion sound!
Thanks for the warning, Aja! I’ll hit “mute” before I click Brewski’s link.
No, you need it with the sound on. Specially the slow-motion part.
*still giggles*
What the heck was that? Rubber glass?
Flexy-glass.
“I’m too flexy to be a door, too flexy for sure.”
*Announcer Voice*
Today’s soundtrack provided by Fuzz.
I hate to admit that I’ve done that one. Pep Boys store; doors at 90 degrees on either side, big clear Plexiglass where the logical exit would be. Ow.
*walk away, wincing in pain at the memory.*
*BANG*
NOT again!
Ignorant fool!!!
Don’t feed them Leila. Write to Emily and she’ll remove the idiot’s comment.
Momentary slip. My fingers weren’t listening to my brain.
See? Gone already. Emily is the bestest.
Yes but, but, but … *sigh* … look @ my orphaned comment now. I sound like the bigot.
The people who matter know better, Leila.
*hands Leila a chocolate martini*
‘Zackly.
*squeezes leila and nightshayde*
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
-Dr Seuss
*SQUEEEEEEEZEs everyone above*
*squeeeeeeeeeeze!*
*pop!*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*SNORK!*
Excuse me, miss!
I believe this is yours.
*stuffs the ‘thing’ that went pop and goes troll watching*
Wow – the Doctor really knew what life was all about, didn’t he?
Prezackly why he’s one of my heros!
*sniff* Well, ok.
*perks*
Chocolate martini??? I haven’t had one of those in a few years.
*drinks entire martini in one gulp* YUMMY!!!
I just wrote to her with about three more. There’s a lot of ugly in here.
Thank you.
Wow! It’s like magic!!
Now it looks like I am the one insulting the guy on the video.
Leila! Why are you being so mean and insulting!!
It’s funny, I never even saw the original offensive posts. Thankfully. I was in a meeting.
IT made an Arab comment and it wasn’t pretty.
Not only do you see odd phrases on FB like, “sorry I tried to cook you”, but the even more unusual “Thankfully I was in a meeting.”
I’m loving this.
Fool of a Took!
Gandalf? Is that you?
It’s a Baggins Whisperer.
What the?!?! There was definitely something else going on there… dude looks dazed and confused from the start. I just refuse to believe there are this stupid out there. I must have hope in humanity…. must .. have..
It’s not necessarily stupidity if you’ve never seen it before. How many westerners have been baffled by Japanese rice-paper doors?
I seem to remember news footage of George Bush (the dumber) having issues with a door.
JINX!!!
:p
…or just a plain door.
Clickie!!!!!!
And if you’re from the USA or Europe, try to figure out a Japanese toilet. Some of them have a control panel like the dashboard of a 747. Various heaters for seat and washlet spray, adjustments for spray angle and intensity, air blowers, you name it.
…Not to mention the three seashells.
*scratches head*
I so want to know but I don’t at the same time.
Hahaha! Ah, I mean…I can see how that could be confusing.
Teehee
Be well!
In some parts of Europe, toilets are… well… not a toulet but a hole in the floor… I saw that in Italy, it was disgusting.
huh???? what part of italy is that? i´ve only seen normal toilets there, but i´ve seen the hole ones in morocco and egypt for sure.
There’s a lot of floor-level toilets around the world, in Russia too (in public toilets mainly). They’re metal\enamel (like baths) or ceramic, can flush and have non-slip strips for feet. Nothing special.
A stupid idea that works isn’t stupid.
(Someone said that… but I don’t know who.)
You did at 12:49.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Open Sesame
Open, Says Me!
He should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque.
♪♫ Point me, in the direction of Albuquerque. ♫♪
Name that group.
Win ten internets. And a cookie.
The Partridge Family!
TADA! Ms. nightshayde wins not only ten internets and a cookie, but an original copy of “The Partridge Family Songbook”, autographed by David Cassidy!
*applause deafens the room*
I’m sleeping
And right in the middle of a good dream
All at once I wake up
From applause that’s deafening the room
Open says me?
There sure are a lot of people who think alike around here!
There sure are a lot of people who think alike around here!
Brilliant minds think alike? Brilliant like the glass door? XD
seriously? =\
It looks like he wanted to do that….he looks around then charges it….
When jim saw no handle on the door he knew racist whites or Chinese had created it. It was too hard for the people in the community to use and so he destroyed it.
LMFAO! Noob
such a dumbass
Well, this looks like a good place for the Monday BBQ. I’ve got burger patties with all the fixin’s, including cheez for those of you of the kitteh persuasion! Fire up the grill for me, Dragon?
Yay! Barbecue!
*Brings fruit salad and sweet treats of many varieties for snacking on*
*brings in fresh tomatoes and cucumbers from own garden*
Fresh just tastes better!
*brings fresh badger to the bbq*
Agreed Ms B.
*Whimper*
Are you new?
*retrieves badger from bbq*
*pokes it with a spoon*
…Sowwy. I just couldn’t help myself.
You need to learn to respect our woodland freinds, or they’ll be forced to reveal certain photos of you & a certain moomin….
Don’t make me go there
Pffft. Those pictures are up on my wall at DW’s already.
Now now … no need to go around threatening and blackmailing and what not. Lucky for you Badger we didn’t put you on the bbq. I have to go find another animal now.
Sorry I tried to cook you.
Only on FailBlog will you find comments like “sorry I tried to cook you”. OK, maybe also in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
A word of advice, don’t try to blackmail she who can deliver the FOOM!.
*pulls out massive fire extinguisher*
It seems we’ve reached a stalemate. Incidentally, has Mrs moomin found out yet?
*sells the fire extinguisher*
Curse you and your contacts in the black market!
Those are quite ineffective against FOOMing, anyway. Trust me.
And black coffee and aspirin don’t do a thing for a dragon-grog hangover.
*returns fire extinguisher for a full refund*
It doesn’t fit me right in the chest area.
*Stores it on Person*
Ha! It’s safe in there along with the Columbian cofee beans & The Magical spoon of Tsort!
I haven’t even found Mrs Moomin yet!
*winks suggestively at Moomin*
How YOU doin’?
Watch out there DW — Badger has his very own person that he cunningly hides things on ….
I think we need to free Badger’s person — no one should have to be someone else’s storage closet!!
I am too scared to do anything. I will watch from the comfort of my 10th floor. I got your back Elsa_Mama.
*makes popcorn, puts on pajamas and pulls out binoculars and watches from 10th floor office*
*Pulls out Binoculars, stares right back*
*flies over, lands on binoculars*
Hi there!
*Drops Binoculars & flees into adjacent building to contemplate the meaning of life (the question, not the answer. Everyone knows it’s 42) *
Mmmm .. cheezburger. *drool*
*puts out a big bowl of Greek pasta salad*
*PHOOMPH!*
There ya go, sweet stuff!
Thankee most kindly!
Burgers are ready, folks! I’ve also made some veggie ones for our beef-free friends!
YUM — Cheese burgers — and salad… just right for a Monday lunch!! Are we sending Leila’s up to her on the 10th floor or did she find her way out over the troll brains?
Psssst: send food with a cute guy.
Hey, Brewski, run this tray up to Leila on the 10th floor, willya? Thanks!
Sorry I’m late!
Hello? Anybody here?
*sets down food*
*grabs a chair and waits*
I’ll take care of the food while you go look for her. Take your time
I e♥ Judy for thinking of the veggie burgers! Thank you!
*Stands in line with bun on plate*
I do too.
*sends ekisses to Judy*
Awww! You girls are so sweet! I’m happy to accommodate your dietary preferences!
You have your bun on a plate?
Mind if I join you for a roll?
The Greek Pasta Salad is vegetarian (though not vegan – it has feta cheese in it).
*Brings in Chocolate Mousse, and Bread pudding with Rum sauce*
I think I owe some people from this weekend, but there’s plenty for everyone to enjoy.
Happy Monday!
*brings Croissant, Escargot and Soufflé to go with Chocolate Mousse*
Aja, do you really eat Escargot? *noms the chocolate mousse*
It’s Top Secret, sorry.
Mmmm…. escargot. *drool*
*noms on the escargot*
Garlic and butter. That’s a great combo!
As far as I’m concerned escargot is really just an excuse to eat garlic & melted butter.
Escargot: Slug on the half shell.
That is what shrimp are for. And crab. Great. Now I’m hungry for seafood. In August. In the freaking midwest! *pouts*
Well, we know you have airplanes where you live.
*gloats at the ready availability of seafood. Heh heh heh*
Pbbbbbttt!!!!!
I see that raspberries are in season too.
They’re very fresh!
Don’t forget the lemon juice and the crusty bread.
This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu.
Latrine!
Razzaflabbin’ Failblog ate my reply!!! Then wouldn’t let me re-post it! So if this is a duplicate, I’m sorry. My computer doesn’t show the other one.
*clears throat*
Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks. Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks.
OMGOMGOMG!!!! Thank you!
*kisses Scott’s feet*
I would KILL for that bread pudding with rum sauce!
I’m normally not big on desserts, but I make an exception for bread pudding!!
*grabs 3 heaping platefuls*
*noms down hungrily*
And you won’t gain weight!!!
The downside… I ate all that bread pudding, but I’m still hungry.
Scott, whatever you do, DO NOT tell Brewski where you live. One day you’ll come home to a bunch of ingredients on your counter and Brewski sitting there in the dark with a hungry gleam in his eyes.
Spoken from experience?
Yes, except it wasn’t bread pudding that time.
it looks like I may have a new business! Selling Bread Pudding Brewski bait
to some of the FB ladies.
Meh, they already know they can crack a good ale and I’ll come running. I can sniff out a Chimay Bleue at a 1/4 mile, provide the wind isn’t blowing the wrong way.
Mmmmm Chimay…
Getting me back for making you hungry by making me thirsty?
*snork*
Who needs badass feminine beauty when you have beer and bread pudding?
*raises hand*
See…I know exactly how to bring you out of the woodwork.
I try to keep trim for you.
*brings kuchen from family reunion*
Hmmm. More for me, I guess.
*takes a piece of blueberry kuchen*
Kuchen, kuchen, cooo!!!!
*tickle tickle*
I’m here, I’m here!!!
*tickle tickle*
*giggles*
Thanks, but I was referring to the kuchen, you silly!
Here goes…
*clears throat*
Kuchen, kuchen, cooo!!!!
Blueberry kuchen!
What is wrong with you and your racist comments? there is not even enough definition to identify the race of this poor stupid men.
LOLUMAD?
pfff
Ruben, if you ignore the racist, someone will sooner or later write to Emily and she’ll remove the comment. She’s awesome like that. Now it just looks like you’re yelling at nothing.
*snork*
What racist???
That was the only way he faound to deal with the “problem”? What an idiot. No racist comment here. Anybody who does such a stupid thing is an idiot.
*THWACKS with a rotting hallibut*
It’s gonna be one of those days.
*goes back to bed*
Sorry ’bout that Dragon. That one just p!ssed me off. Bigotry trying to sound like it has a leg to stand on.
Not you, doofus! The troll! I was talking about the troll!
*thwacks Avis with a non-rotting non-halibut*
LOL! *dodges non-halibut*
*flies right into glass door*
Ow.
*gently puts a bag of frozen peas on Avis’ head*
Thanks.
I’m off to go finish that house cleaning that I need to get to. See you guys later!
(if I can get to a functioning computer)
I had to just check one last time. And now the ugly is gone! Of course now my comment makes no sense, but YAY! The ugly is gone!!
It seems that I missed another goody.
Your comment makes no sense? My world and welcome to it.
Trust me, coyote…there’s nothing “good” about such comments as the one that used to be here.
Did I miss something here or is Avis now randomly thwacking at air?
The benevolent moderators removed the comment made by the troll being THWACKed.
Oh my. Do I even want to know what was said?
I think it was one amongst a hoard of racist and bigoted trolls that came out to play today.
Ugh. Those are my least favorite.
Is there cake in the break room?
How about burgers & the works? Come on, Qwaz, and join out barbecue party!
Ooh, I love works!
I believe I shall come along.
There was…unless Leila ate it all…
Um…what?
*wipes chocolate off her mouth*
I have Emily on speed-dial. Just in case.
Whew! I missed the excitement. Thank you Emily, and thank you Dragon!
*squeeze*
Indeed, thank you! After this weekend we don’t need any more idiocy.
I love a good lightning show!
Mwuahahahahahaaaaa…!
The sad thing is, US companies outsource engineering work to guys like this.
Actually, the reason the door wouldn’t open for him in the first place is because he wasn’t an outside contractor.
He was inside, wasn’t he?
So that means the destruction of the door was an inside job?
Hmm… so ludicrous it might actually work!
Have you taken a close look at some of the domestic product working out there?
What a smashing way to use an automatic door…
Makes you wonder what he does when he uses an automatic toilet. “Oh no! Can’t find the flush! I better just scoop …”
Ewwwww, Opie! That’s just nasty! I’m gonna go tell yer paw!
What is he doing!? I love how he finally just lowers his shoulder and runs full speed. This made me laugh so hard!
God, you lot are all proper nerds with your annoying long running virtual roleplay. Just comment on the fail and leave it.
Agreed. It makes me wanna puke when I see these fails with 900 comments out of which 875 are roleplay hornychat for insecure people.
I usually obey our “do not reply to trolls” rule, however I could not pass up the opportunity to point out that neither you nor Laura have made a comment related to the fail. So, lets take a count here:
902 comments
875 roleplay horneychat
2 idiots complaining
ROFL!!!
*squeeze Starfish*
*Leila squeeze*
I came by late today. Looks like we had an infestation that I’m glad to have missed. Go Emily!!
It was bad Starfish. Really bad.
This fail brought out all the haters.
Mmmpf! *points to self*
*points to jinxed comment above*
Mmrrggmph!!
ROFL!
Avis
Avis
Avis!!
THANK YOU!!!
And, in local news, MY FOLKS ARE BACK! Everybody help clean up! They called from the airport!
Uh oh! Brewski! Get over here and clean up all these beer bottles! I know they’re yours!
*woke up early (for me) today to get all the cleaning done*
No, I didn’t have a party. They have floofy furballs that shed like mad. They hate the vacuum cleaner, and I hate it too!
I have the Dyson Ball Animal! I’ll let you borrow it sometime. It’s awesome!!!!
Beer? I’ve been too busy doing roleplay horneychat to drink beer!
*dresses as Zorro*
*slices off Ms B’s clothing with a swift Z-stroke of his sword*
See?
Mrs Z is not going to like that!
Eeeep! Not again!
*runs off to find clothes*
I think “Roleplay Hornychat” should be the name of our rock band. What do you guys think?
Our amps go to elebenty!
*walks in wearing “Roleplay Hornychat” t-shirt*
*makes secret “devil sign” with index and little fingers*
*bangs head in anticipation*
*would totally wear a T-shirt bearing that band name*
*heads downtown for custom “Roleplay Hornychat” tat*
Rawk on, dudette!!
Anybody watch “Better Off Ted”? This reminds me of an episode they had with new motion sensors.
I don’t think I’ve heard of this before.
There are A LOT of U.S. people doing things even more stupid, and more frequently; there are a lot of retrograde minds and with no culture, that is why they offend non U.S. people (or even non caucasian) whenever they have the opportunity… seriusly… >_<
Should’ve gone to specsavers
Man that has got to sting! He uses his knee as a table and his head as a battering ram. What made the guy run through the glass so fast anyways? That’s the kind of guy you want playing football. Seriously maybe they were towing his car away outside.
♫ I love the sound of breaking glass
Deep into the night ♫
Okay, so how’d he go inside then?
Oh, awesome point! Maybe he lived there his whole life?
Very good point…I was thinking maybe they brought him in blindfolded, or else he came in the emergency exit door…
he entered the building but doesn’t know how to get out of it again? XD
If it was another…normal…door, he should have used THAT and not try to force his way out XD
And I think he was maybe too proud to ask any one?
This is obviously photo shopped. The way the glass breaks is all wrong :/
*makes note*
Thank you for your comment. It has been duly noted. We will provide a detailed, thoughtful response at such time that frozen precipitation is forecast in Hades. Have a nice day.
We take all fails seriously. Someone will write a doctoral thesis on this.
We are serious! :[
this is my serious face!!! :[
We are serious. :[
It sure is GMTA day today.
Never knew General Motors sold that!
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Is that an example of Meta-GMTA?
Roger Roger
And don’t think we aren’t serious. :[
Because we are serious. :[
Damn straight! :[
*staples everyone’s comments to the bulletin board*
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
Nailed to the wall again.
Oooh, Admiral…that was naughty!
*replaces staples with thumbtacks*
*takes all the paperclips*
Save those…! We’ll need them for later!
I. Don’t. Want. To. Know.
Oh yes…you do.
failblog.org/2008/11/03/job-application-fail-2/#comment-154598
The paper clip corset became one of our “things” after that…
*wipes a happy tear*
And it also explains the duct tape!!!
Yup!
I suddenly feel so clued in!
It’s also the genesis of our bell ringing and was the inspiration for giving Dragon “peal socks” for christmas.
How sweet!
*melts*
OMG — I can totally see teh pixels!!!!!!1!!!!!one!!!!!!
Maybe he just flipped out and ram the door on purpose?
I really don’t understand this one. I’m trying to go through the mental process that would take someone to the point of saying, “F*ck it, I’m just going to run though this pane of glass.” Maybe the door was open when he walked in, so he assumed it would be open when he went to leave. He returns to find a glass wall where a door was and perhaps he feels trapped. He checks his papers to see if there’s any reason or warning that he won’t be able to leave the way he entered, finds nothing and doesn’t know what to do. Still, why wouldn’t he approach it and make sure before barreling through. I think my empathy is wasted much of the time.
I don’t think he searched something in the papers, he just wanted to hide his hesitation and pretended that he’s somehow busy and maybe hoped that someone else would go through the door.
He doesn’t have any patience XD
AUTOMATIC SLIDING DOOR TERRORIST!!!!!!!
One word for this dude; Braaaaiiiinnnssss
Jealousy, I think, of K@ the Custard Fairy. Not everyone can be as sweet as she is.
How true! Except you, sweetie!
why does this website keep ripping off collegehumor?
I don’t know, they do it to break.com too.
I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, but they take another sites content and add their little logo to the corner making you think they originated it.
That is funny – I was just thinking that it seems like they are sending all their items to me twice, but you are right – I’m seeing it on CH first, then here.
There’s no way he’s an engineering student, that clearly was an experiment in large scale quantum tunneling.
He’s the kind of engineer who doesn’t think outside the box, but through the box.
n!ce
(“Engineer”, btw, shares the same etymological root as “ingenious” — but the guy in the vid appears to be the kind of engineer who’s found a route away from that root.)
Mmm. perhaps *un*genious?
ok, I have to admit, I’ve done something simmilar. I guess it might be worse, because I did know how the door worked.
When I used to work at Lowe’s (I love saying that…the used to part) I was walking by the glass sliding door once and I saw my friend outside. I was so excited to see them that I ran to go out the door. It opened most of the way, but I still ran into the edge and popped it off the swing hinge. I am laughing so hard at myself right now! *snork* It was great, because when I got out there, my friend was looking at me like she was afraid of me and there were customers too. wow!
True story.
Friends and I were walking along the sidewalk when we heard a horn honk, looked behind us, and saw another friend approaching in a vehicle. I stepped toward the road a bit, waved, turned my head back around to continue walking, and THWACK! ran right into a sign.
The sign? “Stop Ahead.”
*snork!*
When I was in high school, I didn’t want to wear my glasses. I thought they were geeky. So I would just not wear them. Problem is, I’m pretty much as blind as a bat. So, I was walking out of a store when I saw a reallllly cute guy. I turned to look at him…did the little flirty thing…and then turned back around to go on my way when *WHAM!!!* Right into a pole.
The pole was painted bright red, btw. I totally didn’t see it.
Walking about, a pole ran into me when a friend of mine alerted me that the cute neighborhood kid was checking me out. I landed on my ass. I’ve never been so mortified.
*stupid pole*
I’ve told this story on FB before …
I’ve been on television a few times. Once, though, was for a local news network in San Francisco when I hadn’t realized they were filming me. I was pictured leaning against a light pole downtown –I was outside a used bookstore, waiting for it to open.
I saw the footage of me that evening on the news — and there I was, leaning up against pole.
It was a story on male prostitution in downtown San Francisco.
*rofl*
Another true story:
My 2 brothers, mom and dad were all preparing for a major car/camping vacation to the Grand Canyon. It was morning, and we were carrying all the last-minute supplies out the front door and loading the car. I was 10 yrs old, give or take. We had a glass screen door. I was going toward the door right after my brother. The door was swinging shut. I sprinted full-speed to catch it before it latched. I put my arms straight out in front of me. Right before I got there: “click”.
I crashed through the door glass and landed on the deck in a pile of broken glass.
We got a late start on that trip.
ROFL! oh, you poor thing!
Ah, the good old days, when children were allowed to hurt themselves as part of growing up…
A similar thing happened to me Fuzz. Seattle was being whacked by a snow storm and I had to go to work. There was a good chance that I would be stuck there so I stuffed some this and thats into a pack. Got out of my car and trudged the few yards to the building entrance. A couple of hours later I’m getting calls from laughing relatives. According to a news crew I was now a homeless wanderer of the streets. They had to see me get out of my car.
ROFL!! I love it!
Qwaz? You in here talkin to Bueller?
lol … nesting fail … put it on TV — this post is homeless. ^
(And I got a rofl out of your tale, coyote — I’m picturing you in the snow with a tumbleweed blowing by.)
I’M picturing him in snowshoes made of Model T running boards, trudging along trying to take pictures of the snow with his pinhole camera.
The Model T was the car I got out of smarty. It’s not a pinhole camera by the way. It’s a Camera Obscura. So there!
So, can I come up and see your daguerreotypes sometime? I want a ride on that mule cart with square wheels I’ve heard so much about.
What were you wearing?
Once, when I was in high school, a really cute girl was distracted by another guy, and when she turned around she ran right into me. *WHAM!!* And, even though I was kind of skinny, I was wearing a bright red shirt.
Take it from me, those red shirts signify trouble.
ROFLMFAO!!!
oops, sorry, I meant to say this all on one comment. *click, beep* “one to beam up”
Don’t worry…it didn’t phaser. Now that we’ve gone back in time we transport whenever we want.
*snerkity snerk*
Observed event downtown: A blonde stunner was walking on the other side of the street. She was wearing a t-shirt cut up to here. Her primary upper torso curves went down to there. There was a slight breeze to boot. A guy passes her and admires. He keeps walking and admiring and turning his head like an owl. WHAM! Right into a light pole.
I did a similar thing, but it resulted in my bottom teeth biting a hole in my bottom lip. For a week, all I could eat was smoothies.
You could only eat smoothies? That’s rough.
It was hell alright.
yummm *drool* smoothies!!
And it did! It did stop your head.
Quite effectively, too!
At my church they had replaced the heavy wooden doors with new glass ones while I was away at college. Stopping by one night to visit my old choir, I think, I went to enter, and did not realize that the seemingly “open door” on the right was actually a full-length glass pane. *Facedoor*
I did something similar on a date once. We spent several hours in the restaurant, having dinner and drinks. It was probably the best date I’ve been on. As we were leaving I was walking turned to the side and slightly back because she was a little behind me. I ran face first into a stop sign. It knocked me completely on my ass. I think she was more embarrassed than I was…
Mighty Often Randy American Nice person?
Many Over Ripe Apples Nommed
^…I don’t think being a boat had anything to do with it…clickie
Amazing…one wrong letter and it totally changes the meaning…
Love the moderator…now MY comment is abstract…
Hee!
It’s better than having to deal with the trolls, though.
*squeeze*
*SQUIP!!!*
Hmmm. Never try to *squeeze* a butter cow.
I’ve never squeezed a butter cow.
I hope I never squeeze one.
But I can tell you anyhow
It’s softer than a cheese one.
It’s true…I am soft…only when I’m whipped…
Kinky.
I’m the opposite when I get whipped.
I LOL’ed at that one!
I blushed.
I didn’t.
Let’s get crackin’!
Sure; my wife walks in just as I finish reading this thread and sees me red-faced and roffling. Maybe now she’ll understand why I read this all the time now…
Either that or she’ll sign the commitment papers in the morning.
Heh – I can see it now!
The guy demonstrates exceptional balance (with his notebook on his knee) before plunging his head through the glass.
Wait a second how did he get into the building in the first place if he didnt know how 2 use the door =S
He never entered. He’s been there all his life.
Maybe it’s a hospital and he was born yesterday?
He is big baby.
“Mister Cohen always here”
He’s always here? What does that mean?
I’m on first and first.
I must be at the nexus of the universe.
Wait a minute, a street can’t intersect with itself!
Hee, I totally forgot about that line!
Pendejooo!!!! jajajaja
Agreed.
ok.. stupid.. you can tell he did that on purpose.. the way he looks around.. lowers head and runs… he’s just trying to get paid
get paid for what?
lawsuit.. why else would he ram through the door? people do anything to sue for money..
have you ever ran and “rammed” your head to get out of a door? automatic or otherwise…
after all.. he didn’t even attempt to see how the door opens..
On a related note – In the future, if you’re ever going to make iced tea, never ever pour boiling water into a glass jug.
why did you boil the water if you are making iced tea?
It’s much easier to brew tea with hot water than with cold water — then you pour the hot water over ice & you get iced tea.
Oh, I see… I was thinking in one of those Nestea instant powder
Pyrex is your friend.
*has accidenty pyrex before. In the oven.*
Eeep! What were you trying to cook?
Potatoes Gratin. The 9 X 13 inch pan shattered. You can find the story on my link, just go to last thanksgivings post. I
OMG, she said You-know-who…
*cries*
Oh no, I think she broke the unbreakable vow.
*in best Robert Goulet voice*
♫To break the unbreakable vowww♫
♫My sweet unbreakable Volde…….doooooor♫
.
1.- You open the refrigerator and get the cold water jug.
2.- You pour the cold water into the sink.
3.- You pour 100 C Water in a ~3 C jug.
4.- The whole thing exploded and you scream “Oh my god!!!”
That is how it happens?
Is this a Choose Your Own Adventure? I’m totally gonna cheat.
*gasp!!!*
You WOULDN’T!!!
*turns to page 63* *dies as the whole thing explodes and I scream “Oh my god!!!”* *goes back and chooses the other secret passage* *lies about it*
Wuss. :p
Shut up! I totally won. *is shifty*
*steals dilly’s shift*
Ha-HAH! Now you’re shiftless!!
*averts eyes*
*stares awestruck*
You shouldn’t avert your eyes, I have REALLY nice undies…but that was my favorite dress! *chases Dragon around room shiftlessly*
Oh, well.
*peeks*
OooooOOOOoooo! Those ARE nice!
*shifts gears and gives dilly her shift back*
Well, shifts happen. *alters dress*
*gives dilly a dressing-down*
Well I never!
*darts away from upbraiding*
You never? Well you ought to. It’s fun!
Liar liar
Pants on fire
Hanging from a telephone wire
*wonders to self on how long it will be before nobody knows what a telephone wire was*
No, I had tons of it running out of my carphone in the 80s. Well, my Barbie car phone.
*realizes pants are on fire*
HELP
Damn you, Sir.
XD
SIR?!???????????
Sounds right to me.
What?! That’s the last time I put up another new avatar for you, pup.
what??
that’s how i get through doors…
… but only once per door.
Random comment: I hate pecan and brazilian nuts.
I’m guessing they don’t like you very much either?
You think? But I didn’t do anything to them.
It doesn’t take much to tick them off. They’re just plain nuts.
That explains everything.
*darts a dirty look at the nuts*
*offers shamwow to the nuts*
*barfs*
*uses nutty ShamWow to clean up blaaarg*
When was the last time the ShamWow was washed?
Disgusting. Only thing that will clean this is burning it.
*Brings out rubbing alcohol and matches*
Good thing I acted now, and we have this extra one.
You don’t like Pecan Pie!!??
I do not like pie…period. Sorry.
*ducks under desk*
No pie?!?!?!?! How about this chocolate cream pie in a graham cracker crust?
No pie.
I don’t get them.
I like classical pies, but this “modern pie” stuff they try to pull off – I just don’t get it either.
So you don’t want any pie eh? Well take THIS!
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
8214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
4428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609…
*flees room crying*
You are such a bully!!!!
Who gave Leila shoofly pie?
I thought that it would bug her.
I’ll gladly take Leila’s share.
*nomnomnomnom*
That’s delicious! Did you make it, Ms B?
Yup, with the help of Jell-O instant pudding!
Ew. I’m with Leila…I don’t like pecan pie, either. Too sweet.
I may, however, be able to eat an entire cherry, apple, pumpkin or chocolate pie in one sitting.
Pf. There’s no such thing as too sweet.
Try a sweet potato pecan pie. It’s not as dense with corn syrup and sugar.
*waves hand excitedly*
Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I’ll eat the pie!
*facepalm*
Must refresh!
There are ducks under your desk? Are they making you say these horrible things. These ducks are EVIL!
They’re not making her say things…they’re making soup.
Marxist.
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
Yes, evil! Evil ducks that are trying to rid the world of pie!
Once upon a time, there was a penguin dressed like a chicken, trying to steal diamonds from a museum. He liked fish pie and trickery. The end.
What did they do to deserve your hatred??
*crosses arms and taps foot*
Ok…hate is a strong word. I do not LIKE them at all. The texture and the flavor is just like…BLECH!!!
My sweetie has never even tried pie. At first it was just because he had never had the chance, but now he’s convinced he wouldn’t like it, so he won’t even try. Not fruit pies, or cream pies, or even meat pies. It’s insane! I love pie.
Fruit pies. *shudders* Why would you cook the hell out of a perfect fruit and add tons of sugar on it.
Because sugar is yummy! I actually prefer cream pies and an occasional pecan pie myself. Except when I was pregnant I wanted apple pie. All the time.
You can make it with less sugar. It’s better that way, just a bit tart. But then, I suppose that would be a tart rather than a pie, huh?
Why add tons of sugar to something? Um… because it’s fricking DELICIOUS?!
What would jam/jelly be without sugar?
Even more icky than it already is?
*shudder*
I have issues with fruit goop. I will make an exception for Apple Pie fruit goop (especially if they’re Granny Smith apples) — but red or purple fruit goop turns my stomach.
Sugar FTW! *slurps from cola can on desk* Aaahhhh!!!
The only way to drink tea is iced and filled with sugar.
You want to do what to the world with sugar?
♫ Everyone reaching for a piece of the pie.
Maybe they’re serving pie in the sky.
‘I’m gonna be famous, maybe be rich…’
Even it makes me a bastard or a bitch.
CHORUS:
Blueberry, strawberry, apple a la mode,
Boysenberry, cherry, with a scoop of Rocky Road.
Blackberry, rhubarb, lemon meringue
Chocolate, pecan, Key Lime with a tang. ♫
I don’t mind peeing in the can, but don’t even talk to me about a brazilian!!
[OT] I heard today somewhere that brazilians are killing crab lice.
hmm, Only brazillians? what about the puerto ricans or the peruvians? Why don’t they crack down on crabs?
I hear you Judy.
Wow…I don’t he’s going to the head of the class.
What that has to do with nuts I don’t know. Nesting fail…but speaking of nuts, I’ll take yours Leila!!
*looks down there*
But I don’t have any.
*checks out Leila “down there”*
*sneaks up and adds “think”*
*scurries away*
I like the guy who does the “over his head” thing to the camera that was funny, just shows that not everyone in the world grows up in a place with technology that we take for granted.
What was he thinking?? Why would he run into a pane of glass, even if he didn’t understand the concept of an automatic door? I think this deserves and EPIC fail! ☺
raised by birds..
Looks like he’s got a little captain in him.
*snork!*
*double snork* good observation!
Looks like he’s got a little too much Captain in ‘em.
acojonante!
Gesundheit
(Way OT)
*Cough, cough*
Toaster oven fail. I just burned two peices of bread into little black chunks of charcoal. My whole store is full of smoke. Blech.
got that sultry atmosphere going for you, hm?
Oooo, SFX!
Yes! Add some disco lights, some chains and leather…
Tsk, tsk, silly,
I keep that stuff at home!Err… I don’t have that kind of stuff… What are you talking about?admit it, we’ve all seen your videos on that ‘adult website’ of yours
That wasn’t supposed to be a live feed! Damn tech guys…
Ha! it’s all over youtube now, where all the trolls will shout lol and wtf and many other meaningless grunts at it!
Oh, goodie. I’m ever so excited for the meaningless grunts.
Errrmmmm… Wait a minute…
eh, they’re all 12 and have no idea what they’re watching you do to that nun with a potato. Yes, I finally revealed your secret identity VICAR!!
*gasp!*
Chan is the vicar!
Say it isn’t so, Chan!
*sob!*
I’m afraid the proof was there the whole time but we were all too blind to see it.
You decieved us all Chan!
I bid good day to you sir
*spins around and exits FB*
Chan wouldn’t deceive us.
.
Um… “sir”?
It’s a term of vicarious respect, um, I asspect.
Why would a nun also be a vicar?
Yeah! The vicar wouldn’t have nun of that!
It would be all good if they hadn’t cued the sound guy with the grumbly tumbly effects.
But everybody loves those effects
THATS SOME WEAK GLASS
IT NEEDS TO WORK ON ITS GLASSITUDE
WASSAMATTAYOUNOGETTHROUGHDOOR
SHUTYOUMOUTHTHATWASMYFAVORITEDOOR*SOB*
PATPATPAT
YOUNOPATPATPATRONIZEQWAZ.HE’SABIG.SOB.NOW
HOWDAREYOUSIR
I would call this “Understanding glass fail”
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern.”
~ William Blake
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow ch!nks of his cavern.”
~ William Blake
Yeah, Blake would approve of posts multiplying:
.
“Abstinence sows sand all over
The ruddy limbs & flaming hair,
But Desire Gratified
Plants fruits & beauty there.”
Seems he saw the door closing at the start, and then when he walked close by (but not close enough) and the door didn’t open, he thought it wouldn’t open.
Surprises me the first thing he tries is ramming through it, though. I would definitely first try to move closer (which would solve his problems) and try to move the door with my hands. If it still won’t budge, then I’d go get help. But ramming through the door will definitely be my very last option XD
lol. agreed!
(I meant to reply to this one) same.
Cheers Someone. I can’t actually see the video cos I’m at work, but I’ve got a fairly good idea what it’s about now.
same
wrong reply lol
That sounds like a really boring blog.
And here was me thinking everyone had gone.
*squeeze*
yep *squeeze*
I am on at random times (but mostly in the morning)
Priceless!
Why did he get a running start & put his head down? It’s like he was the bull & the glass was the fighter!
His Usain Bolt impression wasn’t very good.
He broke the glass instead of the record.
Someone’s breaking records?!?!
*hides Partridge Family & Bobby Sherman record collection*
on the up side, he has really good balance, and a really hard head. that has to count for something in life.
its that guy a retard
its he? Inquiring mindz want 2 no!
The best part is how much time he spends contemplating what he should do with the situation. Its sad that the best answer he can come up with is to ram it with the top of his head.
Natural Selection: The One Who Lived.
Harry Potter and the Sliding Glass Door of Doom
I wonder why he never thought to touch the door or feel around. He was watching it like it was a pack of animals surrounding his camp site. In fact he charged at it like it was all or nothing. Poor fool
there was a young man from Darjeeling
Who travelled from London to Ealing,
Where a sign on the door
Said “Don’t piss on the floor”
So he carefully pissed on the ceiling.
There was a young lady of Ryde,
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented,
And made cider inside her inside.
I just read both of those cold to my family; as they had no idea what I was reading, please imagine receiving their astonished laughter! (Besides mine, I mean.) Bravo!
this is 1 for the OMGWTFBBQ
I’d like my OMGWTF deep fried, so it’s crunchy on the outside.
Kthxbai.
=^..^=
Why did he stick around after? I think that if I just ran head first thru a glass door, I would keep going and hope that no one can identify me.
*belated squeeze for all the regulars*
Wonder why Islam opposes modernity?
^actually, I see it now. This IS one small battle within the larger war of Islam vs. Modernity. Score 1 for Islam, poor little door didn’t stand a chance against Mohamed.
I’m sure you already know this, but, actually, what we see is that you are an idiot. Do you know any algebra, or is it too advanced for you? “Algebra” is an Arabic word.
There would be no Western “modernity” without Islam. The Western European Renaissance was in large measure spurred by European’s contacts with the more advanced mathematics, philosophy, and science of the Islamic world.
And, “hand to God,” what some Muslims oppose in “modern” Western culture is the fact that we so often put material gain and profit above quality of life issues and ethical sensitivities.
One Iranian asked not long ago why many in his society disliked American culture, for example, answered, “Because you do not go home to your families for lunch.” It may sound absurd, but there is a powerful wisdom there that many of us in the West are totally insensitive to.
Relax your sphincter dude. It was a joke.
*hands gmc360 an application for Humo(u)r 101*
Impressed by sophisticated use of colons!
err..parenthesis?
*notices gmc360 is anal retentive*
*Shoves Admiral and his bad assumptions overboard*
*GLOWERS at gmc360*
You don’t get to do that.
*rents Avis a car to take a long drive on a short pier*
say hi to the Admiral, will ya?
*doesn’t drive*
*wonders how ashes are capable of speech*
*FOOOOOOOM!!!*s gmc360 and his inability to understand puns into a dusty ash*
you.must.try.harder
Wrong person.
*scoops up remains with spatula and flushes it down the toilet*
Things that are not funny are…well…not funny. Next!
Which brings around a full 360. Thank you.
At least he shows some self-awareness. That’s something.
Things that are not funny are…well…not funny. Next!
I’d like to sincerely thank everyone for participating in today’s Homo(u)r 101 Seminar. I hope you learned something worthwhile to share with your family, friends, and community. Your instructor is very proud of you all.
Thank you!!!
Errr… I would run while you still can. Unless you want to end up being Kentucky Fried GMC. Or an RROD’d 360.
Dragon teaches Humo(u)r 101.
Avis could you just murder him, you know crows are very vicious.
He’s been both FOOOOOOOMED AND GLOWERED, there’s nothing left for a murder of crows.
Well, I tried. Aside from the current issue, how are you all doing? (Open question)
It’s not quite dark out – and I get to go home! I’m a happy little camper.
Jonesin’ for some popcorn. Other than that? Cool.
Oooh, we’re going camping? Fun! I bet we’d tell great stories around the campfire!
At work. Trying not catch germies of other people (everybody here has been sick except for me).
You first with the stories, Bearly!
Yeah, well, it’s a pity that over all that spurring the European Renaissance (do you mean the one of the 12th century? you can’t mean “the” Renaissance in the 15th-18th century), they forgot to evolve themselves.
No, seriously, I’m not going to dissect your argumentation to discuss where I find it tendential or questionable, as it isn’t fundamentally wrong. I’ll just say that I find it overall pointless in that no one argued the role of the Islam (we’re talking culture here, not religion) 700 years ago. The Islam *of today* hasn’t evolved a great deal in centuries and is in many ways an archaic culture reminiscent of the dark ages.
Plus gmc360 obviously referred to the Islamic religion. Or confused it with Islamic culture. Or whatever. He made a joke about guys he probably doesn’t like. Which might have less to do with good ol’ arrogant Americocentricism and more with the problem that the Islam doesn’t exactly do its best to be likeable.
I agree, and I think the original comment, while fairly crude, isn’t far off the mark. The Islamic world slid far back down the slope of progress after their days as the custodians of Western culture. Denying this fact is pointless.
I just had to interject because, despite being a fundamentalist athiest, I’m not prejudiced against any particular religion; they all deserve the same scrutiny and ridicule. Let’s face it, ‘the terrorists’ haven’t done the best for the cause of showing Islam’s shining glory, but they’ve brought attention to their plight – based in genuine human rights issues – and this kind of ‘terrorism’ has throughout history been one of the few avenues for resolution or even recognition of real and consistent human suffering and opression.
Just because all Muslims are terrorists doesn’t mean we should forget that all Christians rape children and the Jews undermine any hope of unity or equality in the world to promote their selfish greed with Scientology clumsily emulating in tow. And I’m sorry if you’re a part of a religion not represented by this list. I’m sure you’re just as mindlessly indocrinated and willing to die for your cause despite pretty much all of your prophets and dieties saying not to.
You do needa get your crew some air time by killing some civilians, though.
Automatic doors are racist, you know.
Failblog has gone quiet again. Like usual, I missed most of the posting.
Try the morning hours.
Its 8:14 PM here
So your morning would be … ummm… *tries to figure it out* … about 3 – 6am here.
That’s a bit early for me.
dang.
Never mind.
At least we don’t have to worry about trolls. They’ve all been tucked into their beds by now. 
You mean the sandwhich I have in my hair after a day on the beach?
The sand, which is there, gets into the sandwiches there.
I feel your pain… it’s similar to glass shards in the scalp. ouch.
That is painful.
BTW, I forgot to give you a squeeze. *squeeze*
*squeeeeze* Have a nice lunch.
*squeezes to all*
*squeezes back*
Sadly, my lunch break is over now, so it’s back to earning the $’s for me. Later Katz/Shadow.
Cya then.
*picks at glass shards in the scalp* Ouch….Ouch….Painful
“Allow me to consult my field manual to see if it has anything on shiny glass walls/doors and/or their practice”
Judy? You in here talkin to yourself?
And now there’s peeps here.
Hooray for looking like a fool!
*Squeezes the foolish-looking robot*
*Squeezes the Lovely Bear*
I’m going to make popcorn. Saw a recipe on-line yesterday for “Bacon Popcorn”. Pops on the stove, but uses bacon grease instead of oil. The only way to make it better would be to add cheese. That would be three of my favorite food groups – bacon, cheese and popcorn. Not sure my cholesterol count could take it, though.
Just going for regular low-fat micro 2-night.
*fleesfrompopcornwithaquickness*
*RunstopopcornwithaquicknessthenrealizeshewantsaHEALTHY life*
Don’t worry, Qwaz – - I AM going to make bacon cheese popcorn one day – I’ll let you know how it is!!!
You could substitute the bacon grease for Bacon Lube. It might even taste better (
). 
Could you top it with some sort of sugar? Like… maple syrup or something?
Starts testing hammy for diabeetus.
Woops.
*tosses a couple of extra **s up there*
*tosses cookies to hammy*
No, that’s not right…
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww…
*drops maple sugar candy to hammy*
|
|
v
Ever drink it straight? It’s awesome. But no more than a cup a day.
Looks like, Qwaz. How’s you?
I’s good. I turned 14 about 12 hours ago and I’m stuffed with cake (Not of the breakroom kind, but tasty nonetheless)
*sweet birthday wishes on a star for Qwaz*
A happy life for you, my friend!
Let us hope so!
Happy Birthday, Qwazzie!
Aw Qwaz, don’t be so shy. Happy Birthday!
*inflates golden “one” and “four” balloons*
Many happy returns Qwaz!
Happy birthday Qwaz!
Felicitations of the day Qwaz.
Thanks everyone, I don’t know what I’d have done this summer without you.
Happy Bday Qwaz. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Actually, maybe you should just try to stay out of trouble…..
*Goes under rock*
Get out from under there, young man! Sheesh, last time I buy a donkey piñata for anyone, you’re not even going to bash its lights out??
I’d rather you bashed its candy out.
I filled it with cauliflower, baby carrots, and crack.
Aren’t you supposed to take the crack before you hit the piñata?
I did, for some reason now I just want more crack.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You should have told us; Failblog tends to give us strippers for our birthdays!
*Passes out the late-night party hats*
For a fourteen-year-old?
This place really does corrupt the young’uns…
It’s like a parenting fail only… well, it’s not like that at all.
Well, I thought of that, and then considered: what would a 14-year-old want more for his birthday than that? Maybe they’d find you one that failed to strip.
Stripping failure? Can I video that and submit it to the site?
I don’t know.
Happeh B-day, Qwaz my friend. Let us bring out teh lawn chairs, cake, and beer. The strippers will come of their own accord. w00t!
*Puts party helmet on*
*Birthday squeeze for Qwaz*
*Master Quest Crown squeeze for Alice*
That’s a very nice crown. How does one come across one?
Winning a Zelda pun-run.
Sounds like you deserve it!
Where is it? I want to see it.
(My speed-run of Zelda: Master Quest? 31:54)
Never played Master Quest. Stuck in average Water Temple.
Where’s the pun-run though?
Unicycle Jump Fail I think.
I’m not too good at pun-runs. Great at speed runs, though!
Super Mario Bros. the Secret Levels: 23:46
Sonic & Knuckles: 17:14
Metal Gear Solid: 37:47
Contra: 9:21
Tell me we’re going by hours before I start grovelling, Captain.
Did you even make it past Dark Link yet?
*Passes Qwaz piece of cake and a beer*
*Waits patiently to hear Alice’s story*
Sorry, that’s minutes and seconds.
And you’re talking to the lady who took 4 months to find out that I need to fight the Poe Sisters in Forest Temple.
NO! I just started last week!
Awww… You remind me of when I first started playing those games, I was just like you.
*Nostalgia squeeze for Alice*
Cake? Beer? Nuka-Cola? Lawn Chair?
Cake plz!
Is this full completion, or just the main story?
Oh, I forgot one:
Goldeneye: 007 – 6:28 minutes
Main story. Just got 31 gold Skulltulas. That’s all I’m gonna get unless there’s on RIIIIIGHT there.
I’m in it to win it if I play games like those. Full game for not at all.
Coyote, if you’re talking to me:
Professional speed runs just say that you must make it from the very beginning of the game to the very end, no full completion, as fast as possible, by only using the game. No Game Shark. That means that glitches and warp zones are legal. Full completion speed runs are a whole different category, and while I have made full completion on every game I’ve played, I don’t have the knowledge to remember the everything and the fastest path to it.
Screw the Skulltulas, I have money.
“Sir, you’re not allowed to go into the strip club at the age of 14 unless wasteland is in effect.”
“Screw the rules! I have money!”
You may have money, but do you have a freakin ENORMOUS bomb bag?
Told ya’. Full completion (except for Phantom Hourglass! Argh!) Do you have the Bomb-Ombs to compete with mah mad gaming skillz?
I 100% completed Pikmin 2.
Can’t… Beat… Bellum…..
Nas! I couldn’t do that for a while.
Does anyone play FPS or RTS online? Because that’s where my weakness is. Online games that are unpredictable. And I suck at RTS anyways.
Did I mention that except for the new Mothership Zeta Download (Which I will be purchasing in the next week or so) I have full completion of our Favorite Wasteland game, Fallout 3?
I don’t game much. Just a 360 and Wii. I’ve started working on fully completing Smash Bros. Brawl… It’s gonna take ages.
As for your online FPS question, Captain, Halo 3 online= my niche.
Qwaz: How is it? Many critics on teh interwebz didn’t like it.
Coyote: Brawl’s single player starts to suck. You think it’s cool until you get to Subspace. Then you realize you have to go through all of the levels! Again! And it’s even harder this time.
I’m gonna play Zelda: Link To The Past. GBA though so I can keep posting here too!
Qwaz: Can you hold your own on Halo 3? I tried, but that place is brutal. I can barely make it out of Combat Arms or Battlefield 2142 with a positive K/D.
Yeah, but at least in Subspace you get more character choice.
Yeah. Meta Knight is pretty much invincible cuz of all the stickers.
I might play Secret of Monkey Island or Duke Nukem 3-D on my iPod to ease the boredom.
Captain: Fallout is the most amazing game I’ve ever played and I don’t know what the critics are talking about.
As for Halo 3, There are very few new players now that the game is 2 years old, so being given a fair game is not likely. If you’re going to play online I suggest you practice skills on a social playlist then move to ranked. No point in having a bad ranking just because you’re inexperienced.
I just hate being stuck with slow people, like Dedede or Captain Falcon.
Aaand now my computer is dying. But I guess I should be out of here anyways. ‘Night, You nerds! (He said affectionately)
I am EPIC WIN with Ike.
Good night, and happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I usually stick with Pikachu or Fox.
Qwaz: I meant the Mothership Zeta DLC
Coyote: I am just not good with slow people, especially since most of the slow people seem like their attack range got cut shorter than it was in Melee. Slow just doesn’t seem to fit Super Smash Bros. My only slow Jam is Solid Snake, especially in multiplayer. Trap setting is a strategy that fits me.
Generally, I use Wolf, Ness, Sonic, Kirby, Snake, or Ike.
I gotta run too.
*squeezes all FailBloggers*
*squuezeback*
Uh Captain O. all that I posted on this thread was “Felicitations of the day Qwaz.” What coyote are you talking to? I am very confused.
Rats! He’s already signed off. Can anyone by me a clue as to what coyote he was talking to?
I think it was me.
Maybe he confused Hammy with a coyote?
B-u-y. …buy me a clue.
I can see why he might confuse Hammy and myself. We are so similar. At least as far as our opinions of sugar go.
Well, coyotes and hamsters are both mammals that lay eggs, right?
God knows my jokes have laid enough eggs around here.
S’ok, mine fall out of nests all the time.
Happy birthday Quaz.
Don’t worry though, if we request a stripper you’ll end up with a guy in a gorilla suit.
failblog.org/2009/07/17/birthday-win/
Great scott!!!
That’s a comment win. 
That was my failblog birthday present!
See the previous fail for the party!
Happy birthday, Qwaz!
*Opens mouth to sing happy birthday, but decides not to, as Quaz probably didn’t get any earplugs for his birthday*
Whee. Congratulations!
Skull – 1
Glass door – 0
He thought it was platform nine and three quarters! Give him a break.
Glass Couldn’t stand up to the power of stupidity.
Abruti sous devéloppé
Abruti sous développé
Toro, b!tches, toro. It’s awesome how after he crashes through the door, the doors slowly close, and then a huge crowd comes over.
‘Sup. Give me something to say while I catch up.
And when the croud is gathering, everyone is kinda like “WTF?”
How’d he get *in* to the building?
Chimney.
Down the rabbit hole.
Teleported.
He’s a hologram, I can see the “H” on his forehead!
*rimmershot*
“According to the log we’re down to our last 3000 vomit bags. It’ll never be enough.”