Lightswitch Fail
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When you just want a light infection.
A convenient switch.
I think I’ll conveniently skip tripping this light fantastic.
we skipped the light fandango…
…and turned the lighter switch of
palered rashGood god! Will someone just turn it OFF!?!?!
I’m trying to sleep…
oh touch me baby, tainted light. . .
Because the light belongs to smallpox
Because the light belongs to us
Tonight’s the night for plague under the light!
i bet that’s not a lightswitch its probably a button on dr evils desk
This is a good one
That was meant to go under the “I think I’ll skip tripping this light fantastic”
For people who want a legitimate excuse to not go to school/work!
… and die!
Did he switched?
He accidenty the switch.
Oh noes!
Don’t switch me, bro!
I was trying to find the nightlight doctor and I accidentally hit the smallpox switch by mistake.
lauhed tears out of eyes on this one, thanks!
r o f l m h o!
Release the smallpox!!
turn that mohter f*er on
Smallpox – ugh – what a turnoff.
Speaking of sunshine, in JAPANESE (this sign is Chinese) the characters for smallpox mean “snowflake,” instead. (Literally something like “sky flower”).
So Mooks, with your melting charms, I’m betting you’ve got immunity … so long as we keep the lights down low.
I’m not immune to the blandishments of silver-tongued gentlemen, that’s for sure.
I have no doubt that whenever your mookurial wit inspires a quicksilver tongue to action, things light up.
Switch off the polio, please.
For SOME reason, fluffs, I first read that as “Switch off the potato”.
(I’m guessing the switch for potato blight is in a different location.)
That’s cuz I still think the potato fail is the funniest thing ever, and reference it whenever suitable (and not suitable). It cracks me up.
heh … I
potatoesknoesFluffy’s motto:
If you don’t like it, you can lumper it!
School song:
♪♫ The eyes of taters are upon you! ♪♫
This is what has happened here:
天花灯 means “ceiling light”
the last character, 灯 = “light”,
the second two together, 花灯 = “lantern”,
and the first one 天 = “overhead”
… but, the first two by themselves, 天花 = “smallpox”
(in Chinese)
So, ain’t they just a bunch of characters!
天 = “heaven” and by extension things like “overhead”.
花 = “flower”
(You obviously know this, but I’m including it for the other people.)
I just find it funny that “heaven” + “flower” = “smallpox”! That’s kind of a language fail right there!
Ancient doctor: “You have heaven’s flower.”
Sick Patient: “Yay!”
Ancient doctor: “You will itch until you die.”
Sick Patient: “Oh…”
I don’t know the source for “heaven flower.” Just speculating, I wonder about a connection with the “flower-like” pox marks and “fate” (“mandate of heaven”) — since, once people get smallpox, there isn’t much treatment for it.
Certainly not fail, though, is the fact that it was the Chinese who discovered medical inoculation — precisely for dealing with smallpox. Chinese physicians were performing effective preventative inoculations a thousand years ago, a number of centuries before the practice came to Europe (by way of the Turks, who had learned it from the Chinese).
So there’s some, ah, light on the subject.
Canadians invented the cure for small pox.
But the real question is…who cured largepox?
Americans? nope, too soon, definitely too soon.
The earliest procedure used to prevent smallpox was inoculation (also known as variolation). Inoculation was allegedly first practiced in India as early as 1000 BC,[28] and involved either nasal insufflation of powdered smallpox scabs, or scratching material from a smallpox lesion into the skin. However, this idea has been challenged as few of the ancient Sanskrit medical texts of India described the process of inoculation.[29] Accounts of inoculation against smallpox in China can be found as early as the late 10th century, and the procedure was widely practiced by the 16th century, during the Ming Dynasty.[30] If successful, inoculation produced lasting immunity to smallpox.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smallpox#Prevention
Thanks for the translation and the logical reason for the fail ^_^
It’s a bit concerning that the switch is on.
what happens if you turn it of?
Of what?
of Mice and Men?
Of course.
Of all the gin joints in all the world. . .
Ooh! I love that song!!!
shit happens if you turn it into an offal pun
I would of expected more from you.
awful pun is as offal does run
*runs to the wood of Forrest’s*
You only get to do that if you play a double-reed instrument, sorry.
Earl of Sandwhich (18th c. English political figure): “You shall either die of the pox or on the gallows.”
John Wilkes (radical journalist): “That sir depends on whether I embrace your mistress or your politics.”
A pox on both their houses.
That’s the same Earl of Sandwhich, by the way, to whom is attributed the invention of the sandwich.
Somebody must have needed a last meal.
Dead meat.
The Head Cheese.
it should be noted (for American readers) that “the pox” in British English is not smallpox, rather syphillis.
is everyone vaccinated against night light? in case it will be switched on too…
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse didn’t do too well as electricians.
Of course, that nightlight switch is right next to the war switch.
Ja ja, die Japaner, was die immer für Übersetzungsfehler raushauen, ist schon beeindruckend.
(Aber … diese sind Chinesen.
)
Viele danke, Fuzz.
yo, TMI Bondfan — is 天花 not a way to say “snowflake” in Japanese?
I don’t think so, as I think it would be more literal. It’s actually 雪片 (seppen).
I know 雪片 is the usual word for snowflake, but I see Google Translate also lists “天花” as “snow” in Japanese (but as “smallpox” in Chinese) … so I was curious.
… and I see 天花 listed as tenka, “snow,” in my Japanese character dictionary.
How very interesting. I’ve never heard it used that way, but perhaps it is in Haikus and the such. It does sound like snow very much. You probably know this, but we tend to use 雪 (yuki).
My Japanese computer doesn’t list tenka as a word. Maybe it’s fallen out of use.
Your suggestion about the Haikus makes sense, though –
“sky flower” (天花) is more poetic than “piece of snow” (雪片).
But not as poetic as Francis Baconlube
Franc’ly, my dear, you should take a haiku.
Dann sind es eben Chinesen, soll mir auch recht sein.
Hallo Österreicher!
*winkt*
Ach so, Deutscher? Soll mir auch recht sein…
Der Unterschied ist, dass Deutsche und Österreicher die gleiche Sprache sprechen, während es zwischen Japanisch und Chinesisch doch schon eklatante Unterschiede gibt.
Ein Grund mehr, darüber nicht nonchalant hinwegzugehen, oder? (Außerdem sprechen Ösis NICHT dieselbe Sprache wie ich! Ich versteh’ nicht mal die Hälfte…
)
What was that all about. I think i can say the words but that’s all LOL. The German language looks like it just puts letters together and makes up words. It cool.
doesn’t any language that you don’t understand look like letters being put together?
ps.: hier sprechen mehr blogger deutsch, als ich dachte…
Wehe heute kommen nicht meine Zahlen!
And it has all those weird symbols on top of some words and some words are capitalized two in a row. I have heard people speaking German and it sounds like a fun language to speak.
Oh well to be in the dark is still better to be in the light with nothing to show, at least the dark will become light.
And lottofee and AE thanks for your kind words.
All nouns are capitalized in German – and I thought “schon” should have an umlaut? No? It’s been a while, I’m probably making myself look even stupider on teh interwebs…
Schon = already, yet, as early as
Schön = nice, beautiful, handsome…
Das stimmt auch wieder, da beneide ich die Österreicher und Schweizer darum, dass die teilweise so coole Wörter für einfache Dinge haben.
At least it’s in the off position.
It got switched off in the death throes.
Obviously not the work of genius.
Small minds are much distressed by little things. Great minds see the fails but are not upset by them.
Our life is frittered away by detail. . . simplify, simplify.
The pox are on but nobody’s home.
“Bring out your dead.”
*bell dings and the person repeats “bring out your dead.”*
“Here’s one!”
When the house is pox’n
Don’t bother knockin’ …
Hey honey, you left the smallpox on all night!
(God it buuuuurns!)
♫ Burn baby burn… ♫
*switch on smallpox* *itches*
Aw man! I’m itchy.
*plays Vitamin C’s “Itch”*
Turn the switch off please.
Dim all the lights sweet darlin’ cause the blight will really scar.
Thank you. *switches off * *replaces with a new switch* *switches on the “Swine Flu”* There!!!
AAAHHHHH!!!!!!
There is a gyoza place in Tokyo (I know this is in Chinese, but STFU) whose owners strictly tell you what you eat, how much you eat, and won’t let take-outs or seconds. A lot of people call it ‘Nazi Gyozas’because of it, so maybe this lightswitch is from there?
i would be the one ass-hole staring at that lightswitch going…”I..im gonna do it!”
Smallpox win…?
*sigh* you guys are so great and funny… I wish I could get this avatar business to work… plus i aint witty soo… bye. ^^
Gravatar. Then clear cache.
Join us and together we can rule the universe LOL roieeee.
Get a rose for an avatar.
Gravatar.com It will take about ten minutes for it to work.
oooooh thanks
*tests avatar*
*blushes* I dont know how to clear the cache…. I am stupid…
There we go!! But I changed it again…. Sorry I shall stop spamming… *leaves*
*Darth Vader voice* Where is my light saber switch?
Coming right up sir sorry.
…Cuz it’s goodnite after the smallpox bite!
Its the darkside of the truth about ring-around the rosy.
Ring-around the rosy (red rings)
A pocket full of posies (flowers on the dead bodies of the smallpox victims because of the stench)
Ashes ashes (they had to burn the dead bodies)
We all fall down (many people died from smallpox)
I thought that when we sang that as a kid the Ashes was atishoo (which is not a Japanese word) but my attempt to spell the sound of sneezing!
Actually, it’s likely that that is a myth (and the [false] idea was that it was about the Black Death/ Bubonic Plague rather than smallpox):
ht tp://www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.asp
Apparently, a lot of us are still in the dark about that, um, bad rap.
[This This may may double double post post -- too much moderation.]
Sorry I got mixed up. I meant to say the Black Death/ Bubonic Plague.
All moderation is excessive.
All success is moderate.
Ashes Ashes? I always sang atishoo atishoo (as -Wolf- said that is me trying to spell the sound of sneezing)
Ashes is the right word it means the burning of the bodies, Porky
In the US it’s generally “Ashes, ashes”, but here in the UK it’s sung “Atishoo, Atishoo”.
Elevator/Lift, that sort if thing.
Didn’t the Easy Star All-Stars do a cover of that??
shouldn’t this be on engrish funny?
Hell, yes. Same goes to the one before.
How is this NOT engrish?
+590 points if, as you read this, you either have or will break out with smallpox. I hope not, of course, but you get points if you do.
YES! +590
Do I get extra points for Leprosy to?
If there’s a switch like for it (like in the submission), probably yes.
But really, you should work on getting rid of the smallpox first.
Good morning ShadowTheSniper C.C. Halifax TMI Service. Nice to see half of the Cool Cats Clan on here. Halifax should we not have three “C” to our name? Join us ShadowSniper and TMI Service in our clan.
*nudge, nudge*
I think TMI’s name is Fuzz.
Anyways, good morning 5eags! I just have two C’s because it stands for Cool Cat Halifax, not Cool Cat Clan Halifax. But if used at the end of the name, then I guess three C’s would make sense too.
Good morning to you too.
All i need to do is get my little sister to hit that switch and all of my problems will be gone
The fuzz you say Halifax mmmm interesting. C.C. is correct for you LOL.
No Joeee….Rox you love your little sister(said in Darth Vader Voice again).
I am going to kill this freakin mouse!!!!!
♪ Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who’s the only one
Hey little sister who’s your pestilence
Hey little sister who’s the one you curse
Hey little sister light’s on!♪
Billy Idol? good morning marius. Hit the switch!
Good morning 5E!
♪It’s a nice day for a pandemic
It’s a nice day to start again.♪
♪Oh, when there’s no one else in sight
In the crowded, lonely night
Well, I wait so long for my last cremation
And I’m poxing with myself♪
That really rather good…
Aha! The location of the secret caches of the killer virus! Supposedly eradicated, but all along hidden cleverly by Enemies of the Free World — smallpox: the BioTerror Weapon of the Tourist Industry.
Film at eleven.
Pandora’s light box?
Nice.
Maybe there is a selfdestruct switch.
Maybe this is just the switch for inoculation so nothing gets you while you sleep? If you live near one of those labs with it in the freezer…you never know.
DTI! LTNS!
Well, I went to bed the other day, and as I went to turn out the lights…
You’re cured now, right? Don’t want you infecting the rest of the gang. *squeeze*
I am in fact cured; I’ve just been very busy.
*squeeze* And I brought chocolate chip mini-waffles with syrup, rather than cookies, because it’s still breakfast time out here in San Diego.
Hello DtI. Hey can I have San diego waffles thanks.
Great to see you again, Di! *squeezies*
How have you been, sweetie?
And did you bring cookies???
Hey Judy! *squeeze* I’ve been totally swamped with summer classes but otherwise good. No cookies today – waffles instead. *points upward*
I should have known you wouldn’t return empty-handed! Thanks!
It’s therapy for fear of the darkness. You’ll now be scared of the light instead.
But what do you really think the light switch was supposed to say or be Jam. Good afternoon.
It said “poxy light”. Maybe the bulb is always blowing.
Its a small poxy light. Still, the english translation is hilariously failure. XD
Jesus Christ, who the hell turned the small pox back on!?
LOL
What’s the knob below the smallpox switch do? Adjust how severe of a case of smallpox you get? I think I’ll keep mine set to minimum thanks.
Probably a good idea.
Off-switch might be more ideal.
Whatever you do, don’t hit the red button!
Click it and you get biological weapons!! XD
Actually, I think “天花” means ‘ceiling’ in Mandarin. As in ‘天花板’.
What is Nightlight? Instant Death? XD
Randomman pressed this switch, Now Randomman has Smallpox and needs a hug to cheer him up *Sniff*
*hugs*
*catches smallpox*
Hahaha! I need a switch that says that … put it in a dark room so when someone switches on the light… fear!
Darn its dark in here!
OH NOES!! SMALLPOX
Hey, why’s it still dark in here?
New gadgets are just popping up. Whatever happened to clap on clap off.
http://fiestamovement.com/agents/view/58
Hmm, I could of sworn that i turned that of in 1979.
hahahahhaaaaa
I don’t really see how any “smallpox” comes about but the actual Chinese reads “tian hua deng”, or “decorative ceiling light”.
Who left the smallpox on again?!
In China, faces pitted by smallpox were called “Heavenly Flowers.”
The switch the Indians wish they hadn’t flipped.
In Chinese it just means “ceiling flower light” (which is probably a kind of decorative light). The last character is either not the normal one for ‘deng’ – 燈 – or it’s Simplified (I only know Traditional – Simplified = bad IMHO).
it’s a homonym with recessed light:
天然痘 = Smallpox
天花灯 = Recessed light
! I have been to the exact same hotel in shang hai!!! I even remember the lightswitch. small world, huh
I think we need to watch the japs more closely. I mean apparently they have switches to just own us with smallpox. Wait, if Japs have smallpox machines and Africa is the joint most known for that shit, does that mean they are racist?
I don’t know. Do they resemble you in every facet?
im trying these crest white strips for the first time right now, and as i scrolled down the picture, i drooled all over myself at teh smallpox part “”
Apparently the lightswitch at Kim Jong Il’s house
Your web site is beautiful. I wish you continued success.
Ya the weaponized Anthrax switch was busted. I can’t believe I gotta settle for smallpox. This is lame man. Hows a jihadist supposed to get by in this world anymore.
who turned out the pestilence?
lol that reminds me of the suicide booth in Futurama :3
Is this the Chinese version of Eddie Izzard’s “Cake or Death” routine? “Smallpox or night light?” “Night light, please.”
TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
Lmao! Literally translating things can be funny – it actually is trying to say ceiling light, the first Chinese character, tian1, means sky or overhead, the two other words, hua1 teng1, means ceiling light. However tian1 hua1 means smallpox.
Numbers indicate pronunciation.
I think I’ll turn on the night light tonight
*hits smallpox switch* woosh… oops.