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I prefer bash the bishop.
It’s THE BISHOP!!!
*movie “THE BISHOP” starts*
*bashes remote control*
Waaaaagh! Get if off!
Too late! It’s already into the first scene!
“Don’t touch the ring Vic!!” hehe – those Pythons were good
Whack-a-vicar?
Nibble-a-nun!
Poke-a-Pope!
Hose-a-Hierophant!
Crush-a-Cardinal!
Yours is better.
Thanks!
*doffs hat*
Cuddle-a-Clergyman
POW!-A-Padre!
Fondle-a-Friar
Moon-a-monk
Assault-an-Archbishop
Rip-a-Reverend
Dunk-a-dean
PWN!-a-pontiff!
Aggravate-an-Abbot
potato-a-priest
Bother-a-Father
Dunk-a-Deacon
Con-a-Canon
Father-a-brother
Mug a Mormon
Slap-a-satanist.
Abuse-an-Archdeacon
Rough-a-reverand
nail a nun
Pat-a-Priest
Potato-a-rector
Mingle-a-Montsignore
Ravage-a-rabbi
Irritate-an-Imam
Drag-a-Dalai Lama
Annoy-an-Ayatollah
(Where is everybody?)
Massacre a messiah
Sell-a-Shaman
Wallop-a-Witchdoctor
Tease-a-Tennō
Pound-a-Priest.
knock-a-Nun
Rectal-a-rector / rectal-errector
Missionary-a-missionary.
Hummer-a-hymner
Compromise-a-Chaplain
Kick-a-cardinal!
Squish-a-shepherd!
Molest-a-monk
F*ck-a-friar
Thump-a-bible
Tear-a-testament
Dryclean-a-Diocese
Prod-a-Parish
Egg-an-Eparchy
Clunk a Cleric!
Aim at a acolyte!
*n
Plast a Pastor!
Cannon a Canon
Strike a saint
Pummel a Preacher
Devour-a-Divine
Dalai-a-llama?
Mangle a monk!
Fricassee a Franciscan
Burn-a-Benedictine
Gore a Gregorian
Dominate a Dominican.
Jab a Jesuit.
Crunch-a-Carmelite
Scalp-a-scapular
Pinch-a-Paulist
(Ok, I’ll stop now.)
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Crucify a Christ … oh wait, they already did that one
(me too … don’t want to resurrect this thread … or a Rosicrucian)
We might end up in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights if we continue.
Mimic-a-Moses?
For 40 years.
Juggle-a-Jesus
(not that long, or else your arms will get tired!)
Blast-a-Baptist
or for you religious folk…….
Annoy an atheist
Oh Fuzz… too soon man, too soon!
heh …
*launches into a bawdy rendition of ‘The Aristocrats’*
Spear-A-Spears
(Britney or her sister will do!)
Punt a Parson.
Preferably Nicholas Parsons.
WHERES MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMGZ
OMGZZZzzzzZZzz?
OMGBZZZZZzzzzz?
*Sprays area with Raid*
*coughs and splutters*
*falls to the floor*
*twitches*
*enjoys bean-curd delacacy to reward self for job well done*
“Code red I repete code red”
*pulls out oxygen tank puts mask over GBF mouth and gives him a good dose*
“Please great creation don’t let him die”!!!!!!!!
Good work 5 eagles, that’s the stuff!
..no wait! That’s not the stuff!
*Passes something disclosed inside a medium sized duffle bag to 5 eagles*
That’s the stuff. *gestures*
(N.B. mediums do vary in size – the medium in question is “Old Mary” who claims to be clairvoyant – more so since her HRT…)
How big is the medium sized duffel bag,….Merci?itvm.
*Wonders how much can you know about a mediums*
Did someone call the great creation?
parenting win
“I’m yours!”
I was about to make a comment involving J. Fritzl, but decided against it.
Not really.
The kids disappointed
(Use an object clause!)
Why should he do everything? I’ll jump in:
…their parents, because…
…they shouted their place numbers as they were born.
I was going to go with “…they the whole urinal cake thing.”
… but The Moomin got here FIRST.
He’s photoshopped.
You can tell by his pixelated hat.
His Dixie-plated cat?
From the makers of Beat the Girlfriend, Keep the Cash — featuring Chris Brown!
Damn! I’ve been beating my kid for FREE.
SUCKAHHH!
When you’re good at something, never do it for free!
Lets play the game of beat up kids. Can you beat the highscore? If you do you’ll win the jackpot.
Its 100 kids. Can you beat that?
Did you just lose on “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? — The Game”?
I never was TV at all.
I forgot to put *on* between *was* and *TV*.
I meant the DVD game that you can play at home.
k
I was a washing machine once. That was boring.
lol
Past life?
…their parents, because…
I just want to do it for fun and out of frustration of my life.
…the fuzzy clothes still had to be hand-washed.
Dang.
How come some clothes have to be handwash anyway?
… and their Elders preferred the excitement of a spin cycle.
.. instead of being hung out to dry.
I was a drill, that was really boring..
I think I was a chainsaw or was I a tree? What a contradiction.
What was I?
Bomb-a-muslim!
:[
I’ll go get the bigot bashing mallet.
That was wrong on so many levels.
Good morning all. Wow nice pun run AE and fluffy and Halifax I think. Violet overtones nice.
Morning 5eags!
Good morning Halifax. What is the weather like there right now.
Q1: What is the most popular religion there in Japan.?
If I could field that question, 5 eagles, as I am half-Japanese. In Japan, the main religions are Shinto, a religion founded in Japan, and Buddhism. There is also a minority of Christians, Catholics and Muslims.
What is the most popular religion?And what do you GBF and Halifax follow?
I think it’s Shinto. I don’t follow any religion.
I used to follow religions, but then they got that blasted restraining order!
Anyways….to answer your other question, it is so far pretty cloudy here, with about 3 earthquakes this week.
And a typhoon!
That’s soon to come.
Oh Noes!
Whats a earthquake feel like that would be so cool to feel one.
Unless you lose everything you own. Or your life.
Have you ever felt an earthquake AE?
I live on the largest rock shield so no earthquakes.
Meh. You can’t really feel it that much unless it is big, but basically at it’s prime you can feel vibrations on your chair, stuff will kinda shake, and then you’ll feel nothing, but plant leaves will still shake for awhile.
Dragonwriter will kill me for this run-on sentence, won’t she?
When you’ve felt many in your life time, you get used to it, but if it’s your first time, you could be very scared.
That would be scary.
When I was living in Chicago about a year and a half ago an earthquake hit the city. I slept through it. Pretty disappointing.
I experienced a level 5 earthquake…..i was watching tv…i didnt even relize what had happened!
A1: Most people are into both Shinto and Buddhism, though I myself am a churchless-Christian (as in I don’t normally go to church).
Same.
C.C. is C-Correct.
Religious affiliation in Japan is different than what Westerner presume such matters to be like. Many Japanese who have some spiritual inclination feel no reason to be exclusively one thing.
They go to a Buddhist temple for a funeral, a Shinto Shrine for a marriage, and maybe a Confucian/Taoist astrologer for a birth.
(The small percentage of Christians in Japan tend to be Christian, only.)
Sounds much more sensible than the west’s way of doing things.
That sounds right.
♫ That’s the way you do it –
Get your money for nothing and kick your kids for free. ♫
Eehwwheeekeeeeekekehekehekheke( guitar riff solo)Dire Straits.
Beat them, then eat the gifted ones!
Goood Mooorning Gaynovader. No eat gifted ones silly you sell them.
Goood Mooorning Everyone. We get paid for beating them. Yay!
Good morning ShadowTheSniper. No beating mmmm there is a Michael Jackson song in there somewhere I think.
Oh sorry.
Don’t beat the kids, no cash. Well kids will ask for your money either way…
Don’t give it to them. I’m 17 and never got allowence in my life.
Was it because you never worked?
I did chores and still nothing.
Oh, then man, that sux!
So I’m fed up with doing the chores (especially doing the dishs).
I still do them though.
do you eat off the dishes? ok, then don’t complain…
Anyone else having online computer scans from here? It keeps sending me to the other page, I fink it be a virus.
try Malwarebytes.org for free anti-virus software that should tkae care of the problem.
Yeah, I’ve gotten that a lot at FB. Redirects and hijacks. It’ll go crazy, try to load a hundred different pages rapid-fire. I have to kill the browser to stop it. Malwarebytes doesn’t do anything, it comes up empty. I think they have some malevolent code on the site. I haven’t had a problem recently, however. It comes and goes.
I think this site gets hacked regularly. I seriously doubt FB has such misguided intentions for its clientele.
♫Co-mma, comma, comma, comma, comma, comma-melian! Come and go. Come and go!♫
Come, come, come commala!
Yea I had to hit the “X” or stop load button to stop it.
1. Spare the rod
2. Spoil the child
3. ?????
4. NO PROFIT!!
3. is safety. Always.
good tip — wear eye-protection at all times when beating kids.
Having blood in the eyes itches.
(ht tp://failblog.org/2009/02/06/safety-fail-7/)
fuzz! you’re back?
Loz! You’re back?
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
You’re back back?
Ssssh.
SORRY? WHAT WAS THAT?
My technician tells me you can hear me!
WHAT?
please! I cannot hear you can you go slow?
I can’t here _o I’m go_in_ thr_gh a _unnel.
*squeezes Loz*
*salutes Loz*
*sqeezes ands salutes back*
Are you Loz? If the answer is “no” he wasn’t talking to you.
Sorry I just scim things some things sometimes.
Like typing skim?
Yea.
Chill out AE LOL
I’m just frontin’ Lozzie.
oh, you’ve got me all topsy turvy!
*beats the kids with a hosepipe until arm gets sore*
*goes down to the pub with all the cash to celebrate*
Drinks on me!
Yay! And thnx.
Hey I’ll help get the reat after. *gets a baseball bat ready*
*the rest*
ah drunken kiddie bashing, my favorite!
Nice and yea it is my favorite too. Lets put the kids in the middle of a moshpit.
they scream so much better than the gays
*a kid gets smahed by a couple of people ram each other*
If your going kid bashing you cant just use a bat!….Ya gotta put a couple nails through it first! *Puts 12 nails into bat*
you would know
Woohoo!
*squeeze*
We’ll have a sqeeze party too *sqeezes all around*.
*squeezeez!*
*squazes*
monopoly on steroids!
congratulations! You have won 2nd place in a beauty contest. Smash your kids over the head with the board and collect $200, proceed directly to jail.
lol they told you to do it and they send you to jail. That shouldn’t happen.
The Game Of Child Abuse! I love this game!
In fact, I’ll play right now.
GBF?! What happened to your face?!
*GASP!!*
Oh Noes!
The nose is broken too.
I also had my nose punched before, I didn’t feel a thing literally.
I’m getting better!
*gasp*
*points and yells*
IMPOSTER!
How many of you would admit that as children, your parents didn’t really spare the rod?
*feels pain in bums and rubs*
*feels the pain too*
in my country if you couldn’t discipline your kids, you could take them to the police for lashes, ah the old days
I was also about 17 before they banned corporal punishment in schools
*rubs Leila’s bum too*
there there
My mother can punish with vengeance. Sometimes we didn’t even know why. I vowed that once I had mine, I wouldn’t lay a finger on her. She turned out just fine. Well, sometimes, I do feel like I want to choke her … LOL
*rubs granny’s bum*
ah that’s better!
you can choke me if you want
*grags granny by the neck*
/CHOKE
/CHOKE
*releases*
*gasp!*
we need a safety word
how about antidisestablishmentarianism?
How about “Harder”?
*squeeze*
how about “I’m choking! must….breathe aaaaack!!!”
makes me last much longer (reference to yesterday’s burn)
*squeeze!*
*looks at feet*
How about:
“PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS” ?
I like that word. *squeeze*
I think it’s a lung disease or bacteria that lives in the lungs or something ( I hope I spelled (spelt?) it right!)
Caused by volcanic ash I think.
builds character
*Squeeze*
Not me.
Lucky you are Jules. *squeeze*
I got head-butted once…
Its a sign of affection among dragons
and…*squeeze!*
Learn something every day…I do.
My Father, he was trying to quit drink and cigarettes at the time. It was pretty scary!
Wow! Poor GV!!!
Did he succeed in quitting?
Not then, it was about 4 years before he quit the drink and he just quit the cigars there about a month ago because he had a quadruple heart bypass (that man is indestructible) and the surgeon told him he wouldn’t operate on him again if he smoked.
Anyone here knead kids?
Yes, cuz we loaf them all.
DOUGH!
Don’t get all sour about it!
Sounds like he got knead in the whole groin.
Take an ice pack, yeast in case.
Before you Roll down in pain.
mind the crust
and wish you could rise above it all
But that is bun to go through.
With no rye-m or reason…
Wheat-out any thought.
For people who Doughnut think before they act
Sometimes I Pita the the people who do.
It simply takes the biscuit.
Sometimes its a grain to do it.
I think I might just shuffle off into the corn-er for a bit.
We just bread a pair of twins.
Pair of buns?
don’t daddy don’t daddy!
stop daddy stop daddy!
don’t stop daddy!
CHA CHING!
Don’t scream until daddy stops?
or you won’t get the surprise!
Will it hit me between the eyes?
Maybe.
Between the cheeks?
….rhymes with eyes
0.0
*crosses thighs*
LOL!
bad daddy! no biscuit!
*places order for a supply of shamwow and sanitizer for this thread*
*Applies gloves, goggles and fishing waders in preparation for said sanitation*
*covers eyes and ears until sanitation is complete*
I WON! Gimme ma cash fools.
It’s not unfair to use wepons for the beatup, this special tactic will give bonus points
thats definately are you smarter than a fifth grader
Win/win, if you ask me.
Agreed, This isn’t fail at all. Win all the way, so the kids get a few bruises, Imagine the money!
I’ve Played This Game! If You Trip Grandma You Win a Car
Not a fail at all. And the rest of the game box design was intentionally removed to “try” to make this funny. More like trying-to-make-a-fail-out-of-nothing fail. *yawn*
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Kids-Are-All-Right/dp/B001BEFKUO
Doesn’t ruin the fail at all.
More like if you beat the kids, they’ll win the cash, when they go to counseling later and sue you for child abuse…
That if, they can still stand after you beat them up. I suggest you use a baseball bat.
Smacks kids around while listening to “Beat on the Brat” by the Ramones.
BOARDGAME WIN!
Recommended for BATTERED PARENTS.
Randomman would prefer it to be meat
Those pesky kids. They deserve to be beaten.
Game of life, Joe Jackson edition. (Yeah, it’s probably already been said a thousand times but I can’t be bothered reading every comment)
Pee on a priest?
fuk-a-fat-chick
Chris Brown can have a go at rihanna child lookalikes
im so sorry… im gay..
|The Kid|
I dont think its a game at all. Sounds like the new slogan for the Welfare program
It’s been 6 years and I still haven’t won anything…
As if “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” wasn’t enough of a fail already.
What’s worse is, half the time, it’s not that the contestants are stupid, but they don’t have the cojones to keep going. It’s that same problem the reason “Millionaire” hasn’t had a top-prize winner in years now.
beat it beat it
She was my favorite singers back then. Time adjustments and my heart changes as well
Board Game, not sure.